Chapter Text
Ivy often wonders how soulmate works.
Unlike biological processes or chemical reactions that the botanist knows so well, the concept of soulmate is a bit... abstract.
For instance, what is the driving force behind this process? What criteria are being measured to determine the compatibility of two entities? Does that mean everyone has a "soul"? Is the process metaphysical, so when your body dies, your soul lives on? If it is not immaterial, is it a genetic code that buries within the DNA, or is it related to the physical manifestation of the soulmark, or something else?
"Yer thinkin' too loud," Harley sleepily mumbled against Ivy's chest, hot breath landing on her cool naked skin. "'S everythin' okay?"
"Yes, go back to sleep, Peanut." Ivy kisses the crown of her soulmate's head and plays with her golden hair absentmindedly. She can't see Harley's face in the dark, but she can feel the tiny smile on that doll-like face, and the redhead can't help but mirror that.
These days, with Harley as her anchor to humanity, the Plant Queen feels more like human again, once becoming the girl who looks forward to future dates with her soulmate, whose heart flutters when she thinks about Her.
Harley may not be the nature-loving, elegant and organised type that her younger self fantasised about. Scratch that. Harley is nothing like young Pamela imagined. But again, she also didn't imagine transforming into a metahuman, falling in love with a crime boss's girlfriend, then working with Batman to get rid of Joker once and for all.
So yes, back to the concept of soulmate. It's unscientific and defies logic, because... on paper, Harley and her don't match at all.
For one, what Harley consider a "fun night" drains Ivy's social energy.
Take the Legion of Doom's party. Yikes, a D-lister named Kiteman, kept talking to her when Harley was animatedly talking to Bane about explosions, and the person queuing behind her had zero concepts of personal space. After that, the botanist had to stay in her greenhouse alone for three days straight, ignoring all calls and messages, just to recharge.
And what Harley define as a "subtle job" is, you guessed it: fireworks and confetti.
"Pammy! It's just some teeny tiny sparkles! And LOOOOOOOOOOK! It's soooo preettyyy. I was gonna blow this shithole up with C4s before ya asked!"
To be fair, the red and green ("our colour, Pammy") did make the factory look 100 times better. But there was no time to appreciate it because alarms were banging, with fire trucks and police sirens not too far behind either. How was any of it subtle?
Don't even get Ivy started with what Harley dubbed as "a well-planned caper".
90% of the time, the jester was winging it, and the remaining 10% was the getaway route. Quoting from the Maid of Mischief, "hey! I planned fer us tah escape, that's dah most important part! Can't have my precious flower back in Arkham, am I right??!!? Great plan, if ya ask me."
Really, with the number of times and how hard Ivy facepalmed at her girlfriend's shenanigans, she's surprised how her face isn't flat by now.
But somehow, they work. Even they have officially been together for a few years now, Ivy is still amazed. Just how is a chaotic ball of energy compatible with an awkward nerdy introvert?
"Can still hear ya usin' that big ass brain of yours." Harley sounds slightly more alert and worried this time.
"It's nothing, promise. Just sleep, we have brunch with Selina tomorrow. If we are late again because you want "5 more minutes", she won't be happy. You know how grumpy she can get."
"Kitty can suck it. Come on, what's wrong, my Pretty Girl." Moonlight reflects on those big blue eyes, which are looking up at her with concern. Their height difference is one thing that Ivy secretly adores, the way Harley glancing up with that little cute eyebrow raise warms the redhead's heart every time.
"It's nothing. I swear. Just some late-night philosophical thoughts."
"Oooo! Tell me!!! The other day I was thinkin' bout horsies. Like. Okay. Just. Hear me out." This topic seems to sweep all the sleep away from Harley's demeanour. The blonde sat up, stealing all the blanket in the process, before rolling herself into a giant burrito.
"Sooooooo. We have land horses. Duh. And, we have seahorses. If Wondy is like a Greek God, does that mean we have sky horses as well? Like Pegasus? From the mythologies? Do you think I can pet one? Annnnnnd! Dontcha ever wonder how the sky-horses bang? Because I swear the wings are gonna be in dah way if ya ask me. 'Cause ya know, they doggy-style? I was that close to calling Batsy so he can gimme Wondy's number. But I fell asleep and forgot 'bout it. Maybe I can ask Kitty to ask him tomorrow? Do-"
"No shit." Ivy snorted and rolled her eyes lovingly. "Harls, I love you, but big NO. We are definitely not asking Selina or Batman or Wonder Woman or anyone about flying-horse-sex questions. And come back, you blanket-thief, I am cold."
"Are ya only dating me so I can be yer personal heater?" Harley happily snuggled back to the taller woman with a smirk. "And don't ya wanna know too? Bout the horsies? At least a lil bit curious?"
"I am also dating you for your abs. And Maybe. Just MAYBE, a little bit curious about the existence of magical species, but not how they procreate."
"Didn't know yer that shallow, Dr Isley. Also, fine. If ya don't want me to ask Kitty, ya haftah tell me whatcha thinkin'. This is a safe zone, Pam-a-lamb. Ain't gonna laugh at ya. Scouts honour and all!"
After a few moments of hesitation, Ivy relents. "O..kay... Fine. I was just thinking how we are incompatible in theor-"
The redhead couldn't even finish her sentence because a teary-eyed Harley immediately threw herself on top of the green body, wrapping herself around her soulmate like vines. "Wha- Are ya breakin' up with me? I thought we- Why- Wait. Was it because I always ask for the dessert menu though we have cookies at home? I love yer cookies and I love you please-"
Ivy immediately calms her soulmate by cupping Harley's cheek and pulling her down for a long, deep kiss.
"Yes. Shit no. I mean yes to the dessert part, but no, I am not breaking up with you, Daffodoll. I- I will never. Guess I was just thinking... Yeah, we may not match on paper, but...LET ME EXPLAIN... I have been thinking about where this relationship is going... About soulmates. About us. About how different we are... Like I am sorry, Harls. But you're one of the most forgetful people on Earth, and it often clashes with my strict schedules and plans. Like the amount of time you forget to get groceries when I repeatedly asked, texted and phoned-"
"I'm sorry! I am tryin' tah be better, I swear! Jus-" Harley interjects, her tears are threatening to fall again.
"Hey hey hey, shhh. Don't cry my precious flower. I'm not done yet. What I mean is, you're... absentminded at times, but you're dependable when it counts. Take this. You are there for all my pro-environment crusades even though there's nothing in for you. You are there when I am having a bad day. You are always there to wash the sheets and hug everything better when I have period cramps. You're there when it counts, and that's good enough for me."
"And despite the fact that you are so annoyingly impetuous. Don't give me that face, Harls. You know it. Your act-first-think-later mindset always gets us into trouble. Oh God. Do you remember the shelter incident?"
"Still worth it if ya ask me. Best day e'er! Not every day ya gotta see Babs chasing down a pack of lil sausage puppies down the street! And do ya remember Birdbrain making those"tsk tsk tsk" sounds trying to lure a fuckin' Chihuahua out from under a car," Harley giggled softly.
"Well, yeah. It was fun. But you can't just free the strays like that, and we almost got dragged back into Arkham for that."
"I already said I was sorry! And ya already spanked me for that." Harley pursed her lips with a big frown. "But ya still love me, right?"
"Of course I do, Harls. Anyway. I can see that you are trying to change for the better, all for me, for us. That, for me, is also enough. So who cares if we don't make sense. Even after all these years together, I love you, so fucking much. You know I have abandonment issues... and the way you wear your heart on your sleeve makes me feel so secure because I am so certain you love me back."
"You are never shy of your words of affirmation... From the sleepy "mornin' sexy, gimme a kiss" when we wake up with fucking morning breath and bed hair. Seriously, you could have waited until we have brushed our teeth, Peanut. But that's cute. It's like you can't wait to kiss me."
"And the "I miss ya, pretty girl" in the middle of the day when I emerge from the greenhouse in my horrendously thick glasses... And the "OH MY GOD YA SMARTIE BEAN" when I was nerding out on my latest experiments. You really know how to make your love heard."
"Don't even get me started with your touches. It's the forehead kisses before we fall asleep. The little "boops" on the nose when I left our house for work. The light pecks on my cheek in the restaurant because I have to maintain my street creds. Even your possessive side-hugs when someone's eyes linger a second too long on me. Your affection is so tangible, I have never felt so... loved before."
"So, yup. In theory, we don't make much sense. This soulmate business is irritatingly illogical and poorly understood. But it works. We work. And I don't think I will ever find someone else as perfect-for-me as you. Therefore, there's just one more thing... To be honest, I have been thinking about that for a while now. But since you asked..."
"Will you marry me?"