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Their invitation came a week before the event.
The sun shone through their windows, casting gleaming silhouettes over polished stone floor. It was chilly, the castle ever frigid with their empty title and hyperborean crown. Eret woke in a cold sweat, breath stolen from their lungs as they screamed out to the heavens that no longer listened. The golden clock that beamed up at them sung of a late morning.
Bare feet tapped the floor, the chill racing up their spine. With a defeated (always defeated nowadays, so meaningless and useless) sigh, they slipped off the bed, throwing furs back over their spawn point. The skins did nothing for warmth, not in the eternal boreal state their abode rested within - likely a punishment for their betrayal so long ago. Seven years meant nothing when time whooshed by in a blink, but actions stuck.
Years ago, they'd covered every mirror with a red curtain. No day was different, everything the same: no visitors, no power, no hope. Today, they stood in front of their bathroom curtain and stepped into the cold water shower, eyes fluttering shut to the chorus of water splashing.
Enchanted netherite armour was laced up over briefs and a cotton shirt, movement slow and methodical. If they would've looked into a mirror their once glowing eyes would be dull, nearly grey.
Eret had stopped putting effort into things a long time ago.
What does it matter, they thought: they had no reputation to uphold - the entire server knew how fake their power with the throne was. They were, in every sense, a figurehead.
A figurehead whose master was locked behind bubbling lava, glacial obsidian and a myriad of redstone.
It ached, the truth. It always had.
"Life isn't kind," someone long lost whispered, voice soft as silk, multilayered and echoing through the empty halls. The Palace was something akin to desolate, stone cold under their wool socks.
Everything was cold recently. They felt adrift at sea; purpose lost with the downfall of L'Manberg and the separation of her people. Regret stewed in their chest, as always, a heavy lump in their throat, a weight to their beating heart.
The kitchens were abandoned in favour of the throne room. They strode past the doorway en route, pausing at the sight of a red vine dangling from the archways of their drawgate.
Vehemence churned their stomach, putting a sour taste in their mouth. Just last week they'd enlisted Foolish's aid in destroying some of the wretched vines. They'd heard what had happened to his lovely summer house after he'd defiled them.
Thus, it was with weary caution they approached the vines. At the very most, their only valuables were their armour - which they currently wore - so even if the vines retaliated, there was nothing that could effect them.
Nothing but death, though perhaps that would be a mercy at this point. Even if it was only one life of three.
Glittering in the sunlight, practically radiant in a way that reminded them of a memory they couldn't quite grasp, the vine swirled, pulsing and swaying in a non-existent breeze. Eret stopped a foot away from the foul thing, mulling over whether or not they should step out and pull it down when it swerved towards them and shimmied excitedly.
Staring up at it, they watched the stem bulge and quake, the crude thing seemingly growing a mouth. Red parted, a white square of paper falling out of its maw before the opening sealed and the vine froze, immobile like the ones they'd seen before.
Eret looked down to the paper, noting the careful folds and the looping red cursive that flowed over half the page.
Red Banquet Invitation, it read.
They picked it up.
The day came; hot and sunny. It was a rare occurrence they set foot out of their castle, the occasion usually of extreme importance.
Attending a Banquet of the server's latest nuisance seemed important enough.
A day prior, Foolish had contacted them. The conversation had been sparse, Eret caught in another melancholy mood with Foolish seemingly preoccupied (nothing new; no one had time for them anymore). He'd asked to be their accompaniment, quoting some old book reference they had marginally understood. He wanted to 'wine and dine' them; they knew he only wanted to appear less powerful in the face of the egg, attaching oneself to another was a common show of weakness and Foolish wished for the egg to underestimate him.
For some reason, they'd agreed.
That morning, a barren castle waved goodbye to their monarch. Perhaps they'd grown used to the silence, compliant in a castle no one visited nor cared for. Whatever the reason, when they arrived at the meeting point above the egg's altar, the noise made them flinch.
Everything boomed in their ears, Puffy's nervous chatter with Hannah lighting up the background as Fundy and Sam exchanged pleasantries. The grass was too bright beyond the wooden path they stood on, the sun too luminescent. Everyone's shadows danced on the ground, taunting them with what they could not have.
"Eret!" Foolish called, ripping them from their stupor. The man appeared, golden skin dulled by his customary shark pelt, a pressed suit over his normal shirt. He looked rather fine. "You're absolutely stunning today- not that you aren't always, it's just that this shade of red seems to make you glow significantly brighter than usual!"
At least they could pick a suitable outfit. Apparently there was something they were good at.
"You're handsome as always, Foolish," they replied, mesh sleeves flowing in the gentle breeze. Their long red silken dress rippled around them, their tall red heels looking more like sandals with thin red ribbons curling up their calves, ending in a luscious bow. Niki and Hannah were much prettier than they were, dressed to the nines in makeup and all, hair styled and wavy; Eret's long mane was pulled back in a braid, a red ribbon woven through the strands. Even Puffy, with her shorter dress and straightened hair, was much more beautiful than they were.
"Ah, but I'm not the eye candy you are, dear," Foolish complimented quite unexpectedly. They must've gawked for the man's wide grin wavered and his feet shuffled, shining dress shoes out of place just like the rest of them were on the shoddy wooden path. When he spoke, his flamboyant nature had dimmed and his voice was much softer: "You're the prettiest one here, Eret. I can't wait to dance with you."
"Uh-" they hesitated, stomach writhing and collapsing in on itself. "Thank you. I can't wait either."
Foolish stared at them a click longer. Their heart thudded with the possibility they'd offended him and made him hate them like everyone else did. He smiled, fake and wide, and they breathed out a disappointed breath.
They always managed to fuck things up.
Useless, they chanted as Foolish twisted towards Antfrost, who was climbing out of the tunnel entrance, and waved amiably at Puffy. The sheep hybrid beamed at him, and he beamed back.
The cat hybrid led them all down the tunnels, the journey lengthened by the need for more than half of them to take extra caution with their dresses. Sam aided Hannah in lifting her up bridal style and jumping down with her, stunting their fall with a potion of feather falling.
"Place some water down there, will you, Sam?" Foolish hollered, grinning down the hole as the familiar swish-splash echoed up to the surface. He turned to them, probably to excuse himself (if he even cared about leaving them behind).
Instead, they were pleasantly surprised when he offered them a soft little smirk and propped up an arm. "Want a lift, m'lady?"
Stunned, they nodded their head for lack of words and swallowed their yelp as the man swept them up in a bridal carry and, only after making sure their legs and head were free from possible harm, jumped down. The freefall made them feel as though they were midflight - only possibly explained as the same adrenaline rush that was achieved by using a trident to fly through the sky. An old memory prickled at the back of their mind, a bright grin exactly the same as the one Foolish shone down at them appearing in their inner eye.
They blinked and water was splashing up around them, the daunting tunnels of the Eggpire to one side, Foolish gently easing them onto shaky feet on the other.
"T- Thank you," they managed, gasping through flashing images their mind rifled through like a slideshow as they gaped at the man. He adjusted the shark on his head, the skin perfectly preserved by the enchantments etched into it.
"Anything for you, old friend," he assured. They felt dizzy at the careless admission - hadn't they just annoyed him earlier?
Were they really so out of touch with social interaction that they could no longer discern what others felt?
Seven years does that, they mulled. Seven years, they did suppose, was a long time for them to skip out on talking to others for extended periods of time.
"Oh!" Cried the man as Puffy made her slow descent down the ladder, grumbling amusedly about not having brought her own date as Antfrost called up to her. "I can't believe I almost forgot. Eret - I made this for you!"
Curious and truly expecting to be hit with the 'I actually agreed to go with Puffy, see you later, yeah?' they froze when they turned to find the man clutching a small black jewellery box. With their gaze on him, Foolish happily opened the plush box to reveal a sparkling golden bracelet.
"I hope you like it," he was babbling. "It took me forever to find some gold worthy of being added and then I messed up my first attempt and accidentally pulled an all-nighter trying to carve the enchantments into it."
Their eyes stung, disbelief crashing over them faster than their heart could thunder. Ears ringing, breath stuck in their throat, they asked, "For me?"
"Yes, of course!" The man chirped, gesturing quickly for their wrist. Stupefied, they rose their arm and allowed him to slip the band on, the thick gold lighter than what they would've expected of such a large piece. Enchantments tickled their skin for all of a second as protective charms and regeneration spells settled over them.
Perhaps Foolish was not as sane as they'd thought. To put such extensive work into a simple bracelet, hand carving intricate runes into the surface - koi fish dancing on the swirling detailing - and layering it so heavily with time-consuming and difficult enchantments was nothing sort of mad.
"Do you like it? I could make it thinner if you'd like, or add some gems to it - ah, I should've added some gems, I'm sorry, I know you like rubies. I could add thorns to it as well, the protection of course, I would never dream of hurting you, Eret."
Dazed, gaze locked on the first gift they could recall ever receiving on this god forsaken server, they questioned, "How much?"
Burst from his puppy dog ramblings, Foolish tilted his head. "Huh?"
"How much do you want for it?" They queried.
Nothing was for free. Not here.
"What?" Foolish's flabbergasted tone made them look up straight into blazing eyes. Oh, they startled, shying back, they'd made him angry. Sure enough, he grabbed their wrist, probably going to take back the bracelet, it had been so pretty, oh well-
"Eret?" The other asked, voice lower than a whisper. They opened their eyes to find him peering down at them, something unrecognisable in his brilliant gold eyes. "I'm sorry," he said instead, yet again shocking them. Dream would've broken their ribs by now. "It's free, Eret. It's a gift; gifts are free."
"Oh," they said for lack of anything else.
Puffy dropped down to the stone floor, heels clacking. Antfrost announced their progression and Foolish asked for their arm before hooking his through theirs and chaperoning them down the tunnels.
Foolish was an odd man. He didn't belong on the server, that was for sure. Someone that didn't understand that everything had a price and was unequivocally kind would not last long within the Dream SMP. It was a private server for a reason - normal people couldn't cope with its rules, didn't know the boundaries, didn't know not to take the spider spawner's enchantment table, nor not to smile too widely at Technoblade when passing him on the Prime Path lest he cut you down. The average Player was naïve in the world governed by the Admin called Dream; a world with only three lives and no second chances.
Eret knew all too well of the final clause. Their betrayal had burned more than one forest, culled too many friendships and gathered distrust even amongst their 'allies'. No one trusted a once-betrayer. No one wanted to associate with them, nor talk with them for too long.
Though, for some reason, Foolish was different.
(He might even care.)
The large crevasse the egg rested within was dark and humid. Shroomlights from the Nether lit up the corners, the long spindly vines stretching down the stained walls and through the cracks in the roof. Red mush made up the floor beneath them, a sort of red grass that seemed more like cotton not yet spun. Niki's sharper heels sunk into it, forcing her to yank her feet out a little more forcefully with each step, especially as the mesh deepened as they neared a large netherbricked platform.
"Greetings everyone," BadBoyHalo smiled, suit pristine in the dim. All the Eggpire members were here, Ponk and Antfrost stepping up to stand by their leader's side. "According to the invitations, weapons are not allowed. Ponk will make his rounds and collect any items that adhere to such, which will all be available to collection at the end of the night. We wish for tonight to be peaceful, and would greatly appreciate it if everyone complies."
True to the half-demon's word, Ponk began weaving through the assembled crowd, gathering and inventorying any weapons and armour. Fundy in particular seemed put-off by the loss of his pink leather jacket. Foolish waved Ponk off for the both of them, complimenting the man on his dazzling white suit.
"The plan tonight is simple: a preliminary dance followed by eating will then be followed up by some entertainment and then some additional dances. We sincerely hope you all have a exhilarating time!"
With that, Hbomb scuttled through the tunnel entrance and took reign of the disk player, George appearing not long after.
"May I ask for a dance, my esteemed beauty?" Foolish wooed, turning to them with an outstretched hand and a cocky smirk.
He knew what he was getting. Eret knew too - they were in no position to refuse after the bracelet he'd given them.
If this is his payment then I'm getting off lucky, they dared think. A supplement from Dream would've had them worked boneless for days, fingers raw from the quill and the agony of writing out yet another Amendment for the monster's man's own personal gain. If he couldn't dodge the laws, Dream had them exclude him from their reach.
The first song Hbomb put on tittered into a gentle slow dance. Around them, Fundy and Niki paired up, Sam and Hannah and Puffy and Antfrost, with Ponk and BadBoyHalo to the side, sipping on the thick ambrosia they'd began pouring into wine glasses. George was up by Hbomb, attempting to keep the peace as he oversaw the music situation.
"M'lady?" Foolish called, hand unmoving as he waited for them to reach for him. His aglow grin was perhaps the prettiest thing of all.
"Of course," they chimed and took his hand.
Together they swirled around the floor, Eret's dress curling around them both as they twisted and swayed. Foolish kept the pace sedate, flowing with the music and chuckling amiably about a little anecdote of a man whose fingers summoned lightning and smile lit up cities. Nodding along, they let themself be twirled and bowed, finishing the dance with the soothing knowledge of a debt paid.
Wine was passed around as they were led towards a large purple wood table, the surface polished to a gleam, glittering with bowls of soup and prawns. A wither rose caught their eye, Eret wondering who'd taken the extra steps to pick the flower without losing a limb. It was such an obscure thing to place at a Banquet table that they completely zoned out of the proceeding conversation.
That is, until Hannah - who had sat beside them, Foolish to their right - placed a dagger to their neck and bared an ugly sneer.
"Stop this, Hannah!" Puffy was yelling, Sam's expression stuck between abject horror and shock as he too wailed at her to think about her actions.
"I'm not sorry," Hannah Rose announced, dragging them out of their seat with surprising strength. Their golden bracelet dangled on their wrist as they were pushed onto a red platform made up of the same red mesh the floor was. The only exception was that here, so close to the egg - it was directly behind them - the mesh pulsed and oozed a red slime. It stuck to them, holding their shaking form to the ground.
Eret couldn't breathe.
"The Egg must be protected," recited Hannah, voice devoid of emotion as Sam begged her to stop.
"Please, Hannah, just drop the dagger!" The creeper hybrid was spluttering. The tearful pleading was probably more to do with him not wanting his friend to be a murderer rather than him caring for Eret's life.
"Take me instead," Foolish demanded, Eret looking up with tear-blurred eyes (when had they started crying? They deserved this) to find the man standing before them, jaw firm, stance set.
"Hmm," mulled BadBoyHalo. "Alright. Foolish for Eret. Blood is blood."
Roughly, they were hauled up, Ponk and Antfrost holding them to the right of the half slab they were about to be executed over. Their legs were numb, the red scorching a sizzling sense of paralysis up their spine. Eret dangled in the two men's hold, limp as they watched Foolish be stripped of his fancy suit jacket and golden rolex.
The man was pushed face first into the stone slab, golden eyes meeting theirs. He offered a solemn, reassuring smile to them, cheek smushed against grey, before BadBoyHalo's sword came cleaving down to the cacophony of the others' screams.
Hot blood splashed their face, painting their horror, and Eret's own screams joined the rest.
They were unseeing, sight blinded by tears, throat clogged by sobs. At some point, their voice gave out and they blinked into reality to their forehead touching the cool slab Foolish's blood decorated.
Quackity burst through the wall. The sword was jerked from their neck and they rocked back on their heels, coldly watching as Technoblade and Purpled joined the man. It was only when a dog lapped at their face, licking away their tears, did they breathe a shaky breath.
The Eggpire retreated down a maze, leaving everyone in a lava enclosed room. Eret knelt over the slab and remained immobilized.
An apology was severely needed on their part. Foolish was no doubt seething that he'd been forced to face a swinging blade and suffer a death due to their own inability.
Their chest burned suddenly. Foolish would've pinged the chat if he woke up, asked for his possessions to be kept as was customary after a death-
The only reason for why he wouldn't have was if Foolish hadn't respawned...
Foolish hadn't respawned?
Foolish hadn't respawned.
Eret, the traitor, the man with an empty title and a cold throne, had stolen Foolish's life.
Foolish was dead.
They had killed Foolish.
Their hands burned with his blood.
Beside them lay Foolish's watch. They picked it up.