Work Text:
Let's hold hands but only for a little while
In this world you are born with a name on your wrist. There have been countless attempts over millennia to analyze and rationalize the meaning behind the matter, and this is what centuries of literature culminate in: soulmate marks. The person you are tied to by some divine will is undoubtedly the best fit for you to spend the rest of your life in, the optimal solution as foretold by whatever mystical force that soulmate marks stem from.
It doesn't matter how the world comes to that conclusion, or how many people disagree. What matters is the conclusion is drawn, and the aftermath of it. Unfortunately, human hubris dictates the need for efficiency, and so laws are written to streamline the process of falling in love.
When you're eighteen years old, you get a letter, a house and a marriage certificate. Gakushuu Asano doesn't get that.
"Let's get married," Karma Akabane says to him.
They have each other's names written on their wrists.
"Why?" Gakushuu Asano asks. But he knows why.
They don't love each other. They don't hate each other either (they used to, when they were younger, but it’s been years.) There is no magical spark or butterflies that poetry describes of two soulmates. There is simply - well Gakushuu goes through all five stages of grief when he meets Karma . He's settled at a begrudging acceptance now, due to circumstances forbidding otherwise, because they would have to get married anyways so he might as well get used to it.
(The reason Gakuhou accepts Karma Akabane into Kunugigaoka Middle School five years ago and refuses to expel him is for one main reason and one reason only. Gakuhou feels fear, at first, because seeing the person who he has to promise his one and only son to is terrifying, and six more years seems so quick when Karma's application comes across his desk.
He wonders if the kid applied because of Gakushuu's name, or because of Kunugigaoka's prestige. It's a quick google search to match up Principal Gakuhou Asano to the name on Karma's wrist, after all. It’s not unheard of for soulmates to seek each other out prior to their arranged meeting at 18. Most people get into contact and arrange meetings a year or two prior, to at least get to know their soulmate instead of immediately getting married. It’s a lucrative market for soulmark matching, and a scary number of frauds for celebrities. (There are, however, some people who find an appeal in the surprise, or people who sadly have no means of contacting their soulmate at all.)
Gakushuu and Karma met each other aged thirteen and they immediately hated each other for reasons unresolved. Well, the reason is because neither of them want to subscribe to something as silly as fate and get tied to each other just because some random words say they do. They’re both cynical people. It's not an uncommon school of thought, with one half of the population drawn in with the romance and security of soulmate identifying marks, and the other half suffocated by restriction.
But the truth of the matter is that they just didn't like each other very much. They get into fights, and they disagree on everything under the sun. There's no way around it - Gakushuu and Karma are hotheaded, stubborn people with wildly clashing ideals. The fact that they were even soulmates would make a great case in front of the jury at the Court of Soul-Mark Disputes… to no avail.
And they've begrudgingly struck - over five years of knowing each other - a painful truce, because they're seventeen now and one year later they are legally bound to spend the rest of their lives together. Surely you would want to have a cordial rapport with your permanent roommate, right? And five years of heated academic battles have left both boys in some feint acknowledgement of, at least the soulmark put them together with someone equally matched in that regard, with both Karma and Gakushuu knowing they'll be bored with anyone else… less intelligent.
It takes almost a fistfight in the halls for Gakuhou to agree to bring them to dispute the soulmark claims in court (Gakuhou had been hoping they'll settle into their relationship). The two of them have been in and out of court three times since. Their dispute was always dismissed. The judges and jury thought they were cute. The court office thought (rightfully) that they would try to weasel out of it, so their wedding date was set to be on the Second of January, a day after Gakushuu turns eighteen.
Neither of them were very good at following orders.
This wasn't exactly the big fuck-you Gakushuu was hoping for given that he's marrying Karma anyways, aged seventeen and a half (Karma aged seventeen and a half and a week) on a rainy Thursday in July. Karma has since mellowed out, after the whole Koro-sensei debacle in his third year of middle school, but Gakushuu would never have never pictured him like this (he's not smiling, but his eyes are decidedly softer today, looking almost melancholy. He's in a nice black suit that fits him far better than the blazer he wears to school every day. He turns his head and looks at Gakushuu, and then smiles a little. Gakushuu smiles back.)
Gakushuu has dreamed about his wedding, of course he has, at first aged five when he traced the name Karma Akabane on his wrist and wondered who someone with a name like Karma would be like, and he pictures rose petals and bright lights and slow music. Then he meets Karma aged thirteen, and he imagines blood red table runners, spiders on the ceiling, wasabi in the punch.
They're in, of all places, Akabane's backyard. The backdrop of rain on the autumn leaves made their pictures a wistful sort of ethereal. There is an audience of four people - the pastor, Gakuhou, Nagisa, and Ren. Karma and Gakushuu have their first kiss.
They say the night at Karma's, the large house empty save for the both of them. Gakuhou had given them an odd look and told them to have fun. It's easily surmised as the, ah, wedding night.
But Karma and Gakushuu stare at each other (fully clothed, awkward, sitting on opposite ends of) on Karma's bed. "What are we going to do?" Gakushuu asks.
"I don't know," Karma says.
There are many stereotypes and expectations of married couples (a shared room, sex, a honeymoon, two kids and a picket fence.) They (still halfway through their last year of high school) do none of those.
They sleep on the same bed that first night and it is miserable, because neither of them are used to sleeping with someone else. They both try to steal the sheets and Karma moves too much and Gakushuu has cold feet and they push each other off and end up on opposite sides of the floor, glaring at each other, 3am.
Then the next day, they go to school, matching rings and wedding pictures blown up all over social media.
The world is unnecessarily invested and ridiculously smug about it, their case worker signs them off with a grin on her face like she couldn't have waited any longer for them to make up and make out. But they don't love each other, see, and waiting one more year of doing nothing wouldn't change it if they haven't fallen in love in five years.
They're pretty much left to their own devices after that. Since they're both guys, there isn't the expectation of having a baby. School is awkward enough, but it has always been awkward since the day Karma and Gakushuu screamed “I don’t want to marry you!” across the halls to each other in their first year middle school.
Two weeks later they get a penthouse apartment together. Then it’s obvious they started living together, with them coming to school and going home with each other, Karma reaching into his bag with two bento boxes and handing Gakushuu one for lunch, the both of them openly delegating “go buy this for the house”.
They fight over everything, expectedly - what color to paint the walls, what furniture they should get. So they buy different beds and command different rooms and get to decorate however they want.
Karma’s been living alone before that, and Gakushuu with Gakuhou, so they’re both used to staying in their rooms… but maybe it’s because they’re already used to seeing each other every day, and despite their petty fights they actually can coexist with camaraderie, having years of experience as classmates in group projects.
So, they end up spending a surprising lot of time in the common areas, doing their homework together like they would in school (discussing the questions) or cooking together (they would happen to be in the kitchen at the same time and Karma says, “since you’re standing so close to the fridge, get the tomatoes out” and “since you’re holding them, slice them up” and “since you’re here, stir the pot”).
Living with someone else is odd.
Gakushuu does the grocery shopping because he used to shop for two anyhow, and the first time Karma went he bought way too less, and the second time Karma went he bought way too much.
It's graduation from Kunugigaoka, Gakushuu makes valedictorian. His name (and Karma's name) displays as Akabane-Asano.
"I'm going to the states for college," Gakushuu says.
"Mhm," Karma says.
They've talked about this, because their futures are tied together, after all. It's only practical to plan together, to make the rest of their lives a seamless investment.
They have their second kiss at the airport, only because everyone else is kissing their spouse. It feels exactly like their first kiss.
It doesn't feel like anything, really.
"Bye," Gakushuu says, lips feeling odd.
"See you," Karma says.
The morning after Gakushuu flies off, Karma accidentally makes two breakfasts. He laughs to himself, and continues to make the same mistake for the next few days. He shuts Gakushuu's room door and take stock of the groceries. He can skip the shopping run this week because consumption is cut by half.
In the four years they're apart, they call every week, because they need to keep updated on each others' lives. And then one call a week turns to a comfortable routine, and sometimes they break routine to have two calls, and then three. Gakushuu won't admit he's homesick, but he feels relieved when he speaks Japanese as if he thought he'd forgotten how to. On some days they have a video chat running in the background as they go about with their lives. It helps them be more comfortable with each other, because they're married.
The five Virtuosos, who all went to the States like a bunch of cheesy best friends (but different colleges) appear in the background of Gakushuu’s video calls sometimes. Ren appears the most often. If Karma remembers correctly, Ren’s wife is somewhere in Korea now.
Nagisa comes over more often, sometimes with Kayano, sometimes without. (And wasn’t that a fun surprise, finding out Kayano has “Nagisa Shiota” on her wrist but having no idea who “Akari Yukimura” is.) They’re living downtown, closer to where Nagisa’s parents live.
Karma finds himself visiting Gakuhou sometimes, and the both of them find an odd companionship talking about Gakushuu. (Karma wonders if he’s lonely.) Most conversations are awkward, because Gakushuu was never on very good terms with Gakuhou anyways, and it’s not Karma’s business to extend the olive branch. But both Asanos seem to like hearing about each other’s well being, even if it’s through Karma as a messenger. Luckily Gakushuu doesn’t have any in-laws he needs to deal with.
When Karma is 20 (two years apart) he receives a letter from his parents, whom Karma isn't sure where they are anymore. He's surprised they remember him. They ask, he's past 18 now, who is he married to?
Karma doesn't write back, and he never receives a second letter.
When they both graduate from their respective colleges, they send each other their graduation pictures. Karma prints them both out and slides it into twin picture frames for their apartment.
One of the main arguments against soulmate enforcement is that life experiences and unpredictability mean that words cannot dictate who you fall in love with. It's great if two soulmates fall in love, but what about those that don't? Why does the fall forbid anything falling outside of old interpretation that humans cannot even understand? What if two soulmates don't love each other, what if they love someone else?
It's on the back of their minds, going through four years. If Gakushuu will come back and see someone else in his room, Karma going about his day with a different ring. Or if Karma will open his phone one day and see a picture of Gakushuu kissing someone else. They don't love each other, is the thing, and they never made an effort to, so they can't begrudge the other should they actually fall in love.
None of that happens. Karma cleans Gakushuu's room the day before he arrives. They kiss for the third time when Karma picks him up at the airport. Gakushuu gives him a pendant he picked up at the States.
They go home.
The next day Gakushuu visits Gakuhou with Karma in tow. They have dinner together. Gakuhou asks them if they're considering children.
Karma and Gakushuu exchange looks.
"No," Gakushuu shakes his head.
"Us? With kids?" Karma laughs. "Can you imagine?"
Gakushuu hides a smile behind his hand. "Could you have pictured my father with kids?"
"Ha, ha," Gakuhou says, and smacks Gakushuu over the head.
They're both twenty three - married for five years - when they consummate their marriage. (Perhaps Gakuhou's comment is on the back of their minds. Well, it's not biologically possible anyways.) There's a bottle of wine between them, dug out of the cooler that Karma chilled for the welcome back. They're adults now, comfortable with each other's presence as opposed to newly married seventeen year olds.
They kiss for the fourth time, and then they're awkwardly petting with clothes still half on. They're both equally inexperienced. Nothing much actually happens. They tire after kissing a while, then Gakushuu tries putting his mouth on Karma and then evidently has no idea what to do. Karma says, "watch me," and fares no better.
Gakushuu says, "what are we even doing?"
They pull up a browser on incognito mode.
Karma says, "there's no way either of us are going to be able to do that."
They just decide to take a shower together. They wash each others' hair. It's the most intimate thing Karma and Gakushuu have ever done together.
"Let's sleep in the living room," Karma suggests. "We can spread out so we don't touch each other."
"Sounds good," Gakushuu says.
They do just that.
A week later they buy a king size mattress for a spare room. It's big enough so they can sprawl out without ever coming into contact, but Karma can still hear Gakushuu's slow breathing, and Gakushuu can hear Karma's light snoring.
The first time they unknowingly drift together to the centre of the bed, it's fear that forces them apart. Why it didn't happen the first time they shared a bed is up for debate (probably because none of them actually fell asleep.)
This time they're both really sound asleep when they come into contact. What Gakushuu remembers is the phantom feeling of being thrown out of bed as punishment, dragged down the hallway and then being forced to run or do work with carpet burns in the dead of the night. What Karma remembers is doors banging shut and a boot in his ribs when the people he lived with forgets he lived there in the first place, throwing his hands up and hoping they're sober enough to remember him tonight.
They both scream.
Karma makes hot chocolate for the both of them. Gakushuu makes a pillow nest. They sit inside of it, curled up by themselves, and then together, but they don't fall asleep.
The next night, Gakushuu puts a pillow each between them. When they wake up, they're both facing each other in the centre of the bed, the two pillows squished between them.
Gakushuu finds himself staring. Karma is already awake, eyes half-lidded with sleep, lashes dipped in sunlight.
"We should get blackout curtains," Karma mumbles.
"I like waking up to the sun," Gakushuu says.
"Ugh," Karma says.
It's one of the reasons why they ended up in different rooms in the first place.
"Let's switch," Gakushuu says. "So I face the sun."
"Fine," Karma says.
They swap places the next night. When Gakusuu wakes up to the sunrise, Karma is still curled up asleep in the shade.
When Gakushuu gets a promotion, he texts Karma about it. He gets home to his favorite foods and a happy husband.
Karma says, "you can finally buy me those new games I want. And get us a new fridge. And we can go to that new fancy restaurant, the one I was telling you about. I'm tired of cooking all the time."
Gakushuu smiles at him. "Whatever you want."
Karma comes up to him. He presses his lips to Gakushuu's cheek. When he pulls back, his face is pink.
Gakushuu brushes the side of Karma's face. Then he leans forward and kisses Karma's cheek as well.
Six years after they get married, they go on their first date to that fancy restaurant Karma wanted to go to. They hold hands and kiss each other on the cheek. They have dinner, and go home, and take a shower and wash each other’s hair.
They lie down next to each other on the bed, hugging separate pillows.
Gakushuu mumbles, “I can’t imagine doing this with someone else.”
Karma blinks sleepily at him and murmurs, “me too.”
Karma wakes up to the light falling on Gakushuu's face and Gakushuu wakes up to the sunrise in Karma's eyes.
Oh, would you be so kind
As to fall in love with me?