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"I told you to stop leaving your dirty clothes around the room!" Jin Guangyao yelled to Nie Mingjue as he picked up one of the taller man’s dirty shirts from the living room floor.
Said male was in the kitchen making their dinner. His back was turned towards the smaller male, but he was obviously rolling his eyes at the other. “As if you didn’t do the same back when we were still together.” he huffed as he checked on the beef stew he was making. “I remember cleaning up after your clothes too back at our old place.”
“If only I knew that Xichen was talking about you being my roommate,” Jin Guangyao said as he shoved the shirts he had picked up into the laundry bag in the bathroom, “I would have refused adamantly! You’re a disaster to be around with!”
Anybody who would see them would never believe that they had once been madly in love with one another. With the way they fought at times, people were often fearful that they might end up throwing blows towards one another. But these two were once in love and were about to get married too until they had quite the disastrous break up.
"You didn't seem to mind when we were still together.” Nie Mingjure responded flatly, turning around to shoot a glare at the smaller male.
"I did mind, you just didn't listen to me!" Jin Guangyao shot back, flopping down on the sofa.
The taller male snorted, turning back to what he was cooking. "You didn’t listen to me either when I told you to keep the kitchen clean after you use it.” he said under his breath, yet still loud enough for the other to hear.
“That was a different thing!”
“Oh yeah? How was it different?” Nie Mingjue asked, slamming the pot’s cover on top of the counter in anger. “I used to come home to a disaster in the kitchen waiting for me. I told you numerous times to clean up after yourself and you couldn’t do it?”
Jin Guangyao groaned, rubbing his temples in frustration. "God I just hate you so much!" he cried out.
"You think I wanted this arrangement too? The sooner I leave this place, the better." Nie Mingjue said, turning back towards the other.
“Why don’t you just leave right now and never come back, then?” Jin Guangyao shot back. “I don’t want to see your face ever again.”
"Same here.” replied the taller male as he turned off the stove, satisfied with what he had cooked. “Now shut up before I throw your portion of dinner in the trash can.”
As Jin Guangyao moved to set up the table, though avoiding Nie Mingjue like the plague, the two of them eventually calm down and have a quiet dinner with a tense air between them. The only noise inside the house was their cutlery hitting their plates and the TV in the living room that served as their background noise. It was on the news channel at the moment, reporting something meaningless towards the two of them.
Whatever it was, it would be reported again in the morning news so they really didn’t care about it.
When they first discovered they were going to be living together again, they had agreed upon sharing the chores. They would switch between setting up the table, cooking, and washing the dishes. Since it was Nie Mingjue who cooked for today, Jin Guangyao would wash the dishes in exchange.
The sink was facing towards the living room, where Nie Mingjue was sipping on a can of beer. When they were still together, Nie Mingjue would sometimes drink beer after dinner. He didn’t do it quite often since it upsetted Jin Guangyao but it wasn’t like he was an alcoholic to begin with. If Jin Guangyao recalled correctly, he only drank alcohol after dinner if he wanted to calm down after a stressful day.
Jin Guangao felt his chest tighten when he remembered what day it was today. Had they not broken up two years ago over something he couldn’t remember anymore, they would have been celebrating their 8th anniversary as lovers. Possibly even their 2nd year of marriage if they had pushed through then.
He was drying the dishes he had just washed when a question slipped through his lips, soft yet still audible for the other.
"What happened between us?"
When he realised what he had said, he immediately looked up at Nie Mingjue who was looking directly at him.
"What do you mean?" the taller male asked, lips drawing into a tight line.
Jin Guangyao didn’t comment on the way Nie Mingjue winced when he let out a dry chuckle. “Look at us, A-Jue.” he said, slipping back to calling his ex-lover in the way he used to back in the past. “We used to be quite the couple then but now we can’t even look at each other for more than 5 minutes straight.”
"It was bound to happen anyway. We just didn't click anymore." Nie Mingjue replied, drinking the entirety of his beer.
“I know that, but what happened?” Jin Guangyao asked. “What made us reach that point in our relationship?”
“I can’t believe you’ve forgotten.” Nie Mingjue dryly laughed, looking down at his hands as he shook his head. Then, he stood up and approached the smaller male who stood on the other side of the kitchen island. “You want to know what happened? You were busy with work, I was busy with work. Our schedules didn't align anymore after you transferred to your father's company. And, whenever we met, you just suddenly seemed so different from the person I had fallen in love with.”
"You suddenly were like a different person to me too." Jin Guangyao softly admitted as he placed the dish rag down on the counter. "It scared me to think about how the man I loved had become so different from what I once knew."
"We met a lot of people that changed us. It couldn't be helped." the taller male would respond, lowering his head.
Jin Guangyao found himself chuckling again. "I miss the old days where we could just laugh this all off." he said.
"We could." Nie Mingjue firmly replied. "But we just don't. Because it’s not that easy to laugh all of this off and pretend as if nothing had happened.”
"When did you start thinking that I had changed?"
"From when you were transferred to your father's company. I’ve seen how it was changing you, but I didn't do anything." the taller male responded, his hands curling into fists. "I was naive to believe that everything would somehow fix itself in the end as if it were in the movies."
"I loved you." Jin Guangyao said, words somehow slipping out of his filter the second time that night. "Sometimes I think that maybe I still do."
"Me too..." Nie Mingjue replied. "But we can't go back to how we used to be."
The smaller male would chuckle, heart sinking down to his stomach. “Of course…” he said. “I knew that.”
"But, if you're willing, maybe we can start over again. Start over from the beginning."
Jin Guangyao shot the taller male a surprised expression, as if the other had suddenly grown two heads.
“It’s absurd, I know. It’ll be hard, I know. But we can learn how to move past that. We can learn how to move forward together.”
"How can you say such a thing so easily?" the smaller male asked, pain evident in his voice.
"I knew you were going to be my roommate from the start. At first, I accepted because I wanted closure." Nie Mingjue said. "But, being around you again, I couldn't help but want another chance. To start over with you. I’ve already resigned to the fact that you would never accept and, if you did and it doesn’t work out in the end, isn’t it much better to say that we at least tried to fix things? We tried to make it work again, but we weren’t meant to be.”
“No…” Jin Guangyao said, shaking his head in disbelief. “I don’t like this idea. It scares me…”
"It scares me too. See?"
Nie Mingjue reached over the counter for his ex-lover’s hand then placed it on his chest where his rapid heartbeats could be felt over his chest.
“One day, one of us will be moving out of here and leave each other again. I don’t want us to part on bad terms for the second time. So I won’t have any reason to resent you for the rest of my life.”
The thought of starting over again scared Jin Guangyao. Their previous relationship had been a disaster, who’s to say that this one wouldn’t be the same? He had been hurt by how they had parted two years ago. If he closed his eyes, he could see the broken furniture of their living room and could remember how he had just thrown his engagement ring in the trash before storming out of their shared apartment.
He knew that their break up had torn the both of them apart and Jin Guangyao didn’t want that to happen again - to suffer through that pain again. But there was nothing wrong with starting anew.
"Okay. Let's try again…" Jin Guangyao nodded. "For closure."
"For closure." Nie Mingjue repeated, smiling at him for the first time ever since they roomed together again.
“Damn it, Da-ge!” Nie Huaisang wailed as he buried his head in one of the couch pillows. “You are such a sap and I don’t have a brother like that.”
Next to him, Lan Xichen was struggling to keep his tears in, tearing up the pillow in his arms in frustration. “I didn’t know about this.” he gritted out as he tried not to cry. “Why didn’t either of you tell me about this?”
"I don't think we should share this story at the wedding." Nie Mingjue sighed as he brought more drinks and snacks from the kitchen. He handed Jin Guangyao his glass then sat down beside him. “It’ll make these two cry. And they’re ugly as hell when they cry.”
Jin Guangyao thought about it for a moment then said, “No. I want to tell our guests that story in the wedding.” He drank from his glass then added, “That way, everybody but us will be ugly.”
“You’re the ugly one!” Nie Huaisang yelled into the couch pillow. “If I’m ugly at your wedding day, I’ll curse the two of you for life!” he added, glaring at the couple sitting across from him.
Nie Mingjue pulled Jin Guangyao in his arms then said, “Tell the story at the wedding, A-Yao. I want my brother to be ugly.”
His younger brother and Lan Xichen cried out, “If you do that, we’ll curse you two!”
Jin Guangyao would subtly look up at the man hugging him, smiling to himself when Nie Mingjue poked his tongue at the two before throwing pillows at their dramatic asses. As he made himself comfortable in Nie Mingjue’s arms and drank his beverage, his eyes would move towards the ring around his finger.
It was the same engagement ring Nie Mingjue had proposed to him with the first time. He thought that it had been lost after their break up. Turns out that Nie Mingjue had been keeping it with him the entire time.
“Is there something wrong?” the taller male would suddenly ask him, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.
“Nothing to be worried about.” Jin Guangyao responded. “It’s just that… I’m not scared anymore.”
Nie Mingjue would shoot him a confused expression but Jin Guangyao didn’t say anymore.
He would look down at his ring again then smile, for Jin Guangyao had nothing to be afraid of anymore. Not when he was in good hands. While no one was looking at him, he placed a kiss on his engagement ring.
To new beginnings with you, my love.