Chapter Text
There's a headache building behind his eyes once more, increasing in its intensity as the baby cries also intensify. Gritting his teeth, he rolls over in the bed and pulls the covers up higher over his head. Dwalin had told him to stay resting, that he would handle Fili, who at six weeks old, is no closer to sleeping through the night. In fact, he wakes more often than not, these days, giving them only a few hours between each waking.
He's just managed to fall back to sleep when a hand is gently shaking his shoulder wakes him again, and when he emerges from the bedding, Dwalin is frowning down apologetically at him. There's crying very close by.
"No," Kili groans, because he has just fallen asleep. His entire pregnancy, and even before, he had thought of the baby in only terms of having an heir, of having a successor for Thorin's throne. He had not really stopped to consider what life with a baby would be like. It is more work than he had ever prepared himself for.
"I'm sorry," Dwalin says, and he does certainly sound apologetic, but Kili can hear the nervousness in his voice. "He won't settle for me. I don't know what to do."
"Give him to me," he says, pushing himself up into a sitting position. He tries to not be frustrated with Dwalin, because it's not his fault that Fili seems to prefer Kili these days. He doesn't know if it's a newborn thing, or if it's because he is the one that birthed Fili, but either way, the care for Fili falls on Kili most days.
"I'm sorry," Dwalin says again, carefully passing the bundle down into Kili's arms.
"Hello, my little gem," Kili croons, blinking the last of the sleep from his eyes as he gazes down into Fili's red face. The moment he speaks, though, Fili's wails trail off into hiccups, and he blinks owlishly up at him.
"Unbelievable ," Dwalin mutters, heaving himself down on to the bed beside Kili. "It's like he knows! I wear your robe when I get him, I hum the same damn tune that you do, but it's like he knows it's not you!"
"Of course he knows, he's a smart little gem," Kili says, beaming down at the baby. Most of the time, it's nice to be needed. "It's the middle of the night, though, little gem. You need to be sleeping. Your parents cannot be up all night with you. We have Council tomorrow."
"You think he's going to understand that?" Dwalin huffs out a breath of laughter.
"Perhaps not," Kili concedes, as Fili opens his pink mouth in a yawn, a small fist in the air. "He is smart, though."
"Of course he's smart, he's a Durin," Dwalin says proudly, leaning down and he gives Kili a kiss that lasts a little too long than what's appropriate in front of babies.
"Oy," Kili murmurs, his cheeks feeling slightly flushed. Oin had recently given them go ahead for anything physical, but between duties of the kingdom and Fili's inability to sleep, privacy and intimacy are a hard thing to come by.
"He doesn't know," Dwalin protests, leaning in to give him another kiss.
"I know, though," Kili points out. "We're not doing anything in front of our son! We'll traumatize him."
"He'll be asleep!"
"He's never actually asleep, I don't think," Kili yawns himself, lifting a hand to cover his mouth. "He just likes to trick us so we think he's getting any rest. He's a little monster."
"I still think we should hire a nursemaid for the night," Dwalin says quietly, a large finger smoothing down the pale fuzz that covers Fili's head.
"We're not, and you might as well quit bringing it up, because it's never going to happen," Kili says, and there's a warning edge to his tone. "My son will not be raised by nannies, Dwalin. He will be raised by his parents, much like we were."
"It's completely different, and you know it," Dwalin argues. "I was raised by my parents, because neither of them were royal. However, I still had a nursemaid during the day, and plenty of tutors and instructors. You were raised by your mother, because life was different in Ered Luin."
"I will raise Fili like my mum raised me," Kili says stubbornly. "I don't trust anyone else in the Royal Apartments, and I certainly don't trust anyone with him."
"You are the King of Erebor," Dwalin says patiently. "You don't have the same luxuries that our parents did, my love. Your time and attention are demanded elsewhere."
"I may be King, but I am a parent first of all," Kili says fiercely, because he will fight anyone that dares to suggest the throne is more important than Fili. He may have reluctantly conceived Fili for the throne, but now that he's here, it's so clear to Kili that there is nothing else more important in all of Middle Earth.
"I spoke to your mother - "
"You did what?" Kili interrupts, whipping his head to glare at Dwalin.
"Peace, my love! Hear me out!" Dwalin says quickly. "I spoke to Dis, and she knew of several dams that would make excellent nursemaids. They have raised their own dwarrows, and they know what they are doing."
"I believe I was very clear, but apparently I will need to spell it out for your thick head," Kili snaps, holding Fili closer to his body. Why can't Dwalin just understand and accept that Kili doesn't want a stranger raising their child? After he nearly died, he's not about to let any dwarf that isn't a family member, or a part of the company, near their child.
He is risking nothing when it comes to Fili.
"I know you're nervous because of the attack," Dwalin soothes, lifting himself up to brush his lips against Kili's cheek. "I'm nervous as well, you know. I love Fili as much as you do."
"Impossible," Kili sniffs, because nobody can love Fili more than he does. He knew of Fili months before Dwalin did, he sacrificed himself every day for the well being of Fili, and he continues to do that. Dwalin may love him as his father, but he will never love Fili the way Kili does.
"Well, I love him, regardless of how much you believe," Dwalin says crossly, because it's a sensitive subject when Kili questions the amount of love . He knows it bothers Dwalin, but he can't help but bring it up during important times like this. "I wouldn't accept just anyone guarding him. You need to rest, not only so you're able to perform your duties as king, but also so you can rest. You've had a restless year, my love."
"If I say something, will you please accept my word for what it is, and never bring this up again?" Kili asks quietly, looking down at Dwalin. "I will not accept a nursemaid for Fili, not now, not ever. He is my responsibility, and I will do it, regardless of what it costs me. You might think I am being impractical, but I won't bend, not on this, Dwalin. So, if you truly love me, you will let this matter go."
Dwalin studies him carefully, and Kili meets his gaze evenly. He's no longer afraid of Dwalin's wrath, or fearing that Dwalin will leave him. They have had blissful months together since the assassination attempt, and their love has grown, burying the roots deep . Kili trusts Dwalin with everything that he has, and knows that Dwalin feels the same towards him.
"Very well," Dwalin finally concedes, shuffling down on the bed. "I will speak to your mother tomorrow and tell her that we're not interested."
"If she's so concerned about our rest, she can take Fili for a night," Kili says, yawning again.
He looks down, relieved to see that Fili has finally fallen asleep, and he carefully lays him down on the bed beside him, stuffing Dwalin's pillow between Fili and the edge of the bed so he won't fall off. Dwalin looks cross at the lack of his pillow, but lays down regardless and closes his eyes, pillowing his head against his arms. Kili isn't the only one that will sacrifice much for Fili, and it brings him immense joy to watch Dwalin with their son.
He had seen Dwalin's kindness before, but he had never seen Dwalin with something so delicate, and it amazes Kili every day to see how careful his warrior is with something so precious.
"There's a grand idea," Dwalin murmurs with his eyes closed. "Your mother can watch him for the night, and we can finally have some time alone."
"Yes, but I'm sure even then I won't be getting much rest," Kili says mischievously, rolling his back to Fili so he's able to curl up against Dwalin, sliding an arm around him.
"No, I daresay you won't get any rest at all," Dwalin confirms, dipping his head down for a slow kiss. "If anything, you'll be more tired in the morning than you usually are."
"Sounds like a promise," Kili sighs, already thinking of ways to convince Dis to take Fili for the night.
He's missed his husband. They hadn't done anything too advanced while he was pregnant, partly due to how uncomfortable Kili was, and partly because Dwalin had been afraid of hurting him or the baby. It's only now that they're able to actually do anything, and while Kili is excited enough to make plans for it, he's also nervous. He's only slept with Dwalin twice, and both of those times were under the impression of conceiving an heir.
He's never slept with his husband due to desire.
"The very best promise," Dwalin says, pulling the covers up and he tucks Kili in. "Now sleep, my love. Your little gem is going to be awake before you know it."
"Ha, my little gem," Kili snorts, tangling their legs together underneath the furs. "He belongs to both of us, you know."
"If you refuse a nursemaid, then before sunrise, he's your son ," Dwalin teases, giving him a final kiss. "Goodnight, my love."
***
Now it's been almost an hour since he's been waiting, and finally the door to their chambers open and Dwalin walks through, carrying a stack of documents. He freezes in the doorway, and his jaw drops open. Kili smirks in satisfaction from where he's laying on one of the chaises, completely naked.
"Um," Dwalin says blankly, before looking behind him and then back at Kili. "What is going on?"
"What does it look like?" Kili drawls, pushing his hair back. "You might want to close the door."
The door closes shut slowly, and Dwalin drops the stack of papers with a thud on a table. "It would appear that you are naked in our chambers in the early evening, and our son is nowhere to be seen," Dwalin says, frowning slightly. "I appreciate the view, don't mistake me, but I have a few questions."
"You're kind of ruining the mood," Kili huffs, rolling his eyes. "Fili's with my mum, she agreed to keep him for the night. I'm here to seduce you!"
"Consider me seduced," Dwalin grins, moving closer to the chaise. Kili rises up on his knees and reaches for him, winding an arm around Dwalin's neck.
"This is more like it," Kili murmurs against Dwalin's lips. "You had mentioned that intimacy was hard to find."
"And yet you seem to have found some." Dwalin slides his hand underneath Kili's thighs and lifts, carrying Kili into their bedroom where he's able to throw him down on their bed. He stands by the foot of the bed and slowly begins to undress, letting his clothes fall to the floor, and he doesn't break his gaze away from Kili's.
Kili's throat feels dry as he watches Dwalin strip himself bare. It's almost unfair how Dwalin has gotten even more handsome over the past couple of months, while it seems like Kili's own attractiveness has declined. His stomach is softer than it ever has been, and he keeps one arm draped casually around it. Dwalin knows him too well, though, because he crawls on to the bed and slowly pulls Kili's arm away.
"You're perfect," he murmurs, ducking his head down low to press his lips against Kili's scar. It's healed, but still sensitive, so the sensation causes him to shudder, inhaling sharply.
"I'm hoping that will eventually tighten back up once I'm able to do more," he says, rolling on to his knees so he's able to tower over Dwalin, sliding a hand into the coarse tangles of his beard.
"I don't care either way," Dwalin says, and Kili would be a fool to miss the honesty in his voice. "You're so beautiful to me."
"I love you," Kili whispers, swallowing hard. He leans down and kisses Dwalin before he's able to respond, wanting to be as close as possible to him.
Dwalin opens his mouth underneath him, and Kili is able to lick inside, curling their tongues together so slowly that shivers break out along the length of his spine. One of Dwalin's hands trail down his back, brushing over his ass, and Kili shivers again.
"We've never done this before," Dwalin says once they've parted for breath.
"Fili's existence is a mystery then," Kili drawls, although he knows what Dwalin means. It's not their first time together, but it does feel like it. His stomach is a jumble of nerves, desire, and a hint of fear.
"Kili," Dwalin says, exasperated, and Kili can't help but kiss him again. "That isn't what I meant at all."
"You're sure I can't conceive, right?"
"You can't conceive without the potion, Oin assured me," Dwalin says patiently. "There's a very rare chance that you can, but I promise that you won't. Your body is still healing."
"My body is properly healed," Kili says, swinging one leg over and he settles himself down into Dwalin's lap.
"Let's test your limits then, shall we?" Dwalin says with a wicked curve to his smile, and he leans up to kiss Kili once more.
His hand rubs the muscles in Kili's back, disappearing for a short while before they come back to rub again, and this time Kili feels the slick of oil sliding on his skin. It feels relaxing, though, and so he remains in Dwalin's lap, lazily exchanging kisses with him.
Dwalin reaches around and wraps his hand around Kili's cock, stroking it to hardness and with the oil slicking the way, Dwalin's grip feels like pure velvet. Kili groans, dropping his head back and he stares up at the stone ceiling, trying to think of thoughts that will help him prolong the inevitable. He's still been incredibly easy to arouse since giving birth, that's something that hasn't changed after pregnancy.
"You feel so good in my hand," Dwalin murmurs, littering Kili's pale neck with kisses. "You'll tell me if you don't like something, right?"
"I hardly think there is anything you can do to me that I would not like," Kili confesses, his breath hitching as Dwalin twists his fist just right on the upstroke. He can feel Dwalin's length pressed against his thigh, burning hot.
"I just want to make sure," Dwalin says, and there's suddenly one finger behind him, slowly breaching Kili in the most intimate of places. It's a different angle, being on Dwalin's lap while it happens, but he relishes the fact that they can keep eye contact, and he's able to see every emotion that passes over Dwalin's face as he slowly opens Kili with one, then two, and finally three fingers.
"Mahal," Kili pants, driving his hips backwards in order to seek out more. "What is taking you so long? I'm ready, Dwalin, I've been ready for so long..."
"Patience, beloved," Dwalin murmurs against his mouth, giving him a slow, deep kiss. He licks into Kili's mouth, wrapping an arm around Kili's lower back and drawing him up and even closer.
When his knees begin to get a bit sore from the position and he starts to sink down, he wrenches his mouth away with a shout as he realizes Dwalin's slowly lowering him down on to Dwalin's cock. Dwalin's hands grip his hips, easing him down slowly so he doesn't go too fast, and inch by inch he sinks down until he's fully seated against Dwalin's lap.
He's never felt so full in his life.
How could he have ever been afraid of this? He knows that in hindsight, his response to Dwalin in the beginning wasn't wrong. He was hurt and grieving, and he felt taken advantage in every aspect of his life, he didn't need to complicate it further with sex. And then when sex was necessary, it was solely because they were trying to conceive an heir so their marriage wouldn't be pointless.
Now, though, now they're able to join together for something greater than Erebor , for something called love. It intensifies the pleasure in a way that nothing else has before, Kili doesn't know if it's the angle of Dwalin's thrusts, or just the fact that he trusts this dwarf with everything he has, but he's never felt like this before. He feels stretched tight like a bow, drawn taunt, and he arches his back as he moves against Dwalin.
Dwalin's hands cradle his waist, using his strength to help him fall and rise, until Kili can't even remember his own name. Dwalin keeps one hand against his waist to steady Kili, but the other hand drops to Kili's cock, and he begins to stroke it in time with his thrusts. Kili digs his fingers into the meat of Dwalin's shoulders as the pleasure builds inside of him, tightening until it suddenly bursts free, racing through every nerve in his body until he collapses against Dwalin, a shivering, shuddering mess.
"Mahal," Dwalin breathes, his thrusts increasing as he seeks his own pleasure. He coils the hand that had been wrapped around Kili's cock into his hair instead, tipping his head back so he's able to press his face against the curve of Kili's jaw, inhaling deeply as he spills inside of him.
"I love you," Kili murmurs, sagging against him, exhausted of all his energy. "I love you, and we are doing that thrice more before sunrise."
Dwalin laughs, easing himself out of Kili and he grabs the corner of the furs, wiping them both clean. "You're ambitious, my love," he says, settling Kili down on the bed.
"No," Kili says, feeling lighter than he has in all of his years. "I am simply making up for lost time."
***
Five years later...
It's early morning, the first bells haven't even rung yet, and Kili is curled up under the blankets, dozing in and out of sleep. There's a firm warmth pressed against his back, where Dwalin is sleeping beside him. The bed suddenly jostles roughly, and then there is a piercing shriek right in his ear, causing Kili to fly up into a sitting position.
"Fili! I warned you yesterday!"
A blond head peeks up from the foot of the bed, and there's an impish grin on his son's face. "That was yesterday!"
"You need to stay in bed until it's morning," Kili grumbles, but he reaches for Fili and tugs him up the bed so he can snuggle him. "You can't wake us up this early, gem. You need to be quiet, or you're going to wake the others."
"It is morning," Fili grumbles, his legs kicking as he squirms to get under the blankets.
"What is it?" Dwalin grouses, rolling over and he scowls down at them. "Again? Fili, we talked about this!"
"He's young," Kili says, snuggling back against his pillow. "Go easy on him, Dwalin."
"Coals and hammer ," Dwalin rolls his eyes and purposefully rolls over so his back to the pair of them. "I'm going back to sleep. Stop babying him."
"But he is a baby," Kili protests sleepily, cuddling up against Fili.
"I'm not a baby!" Fili shouts, throwing himself over Kili's body and he slides to the floor. "Get up! You promised we'd go hunting today!"
"I said maybe this morning we would go outside of the mountain," Kili groans, shoving his head under the pillow. "It's not morning yet, Fili! Go back to bed!"
What had life been like when he could sleep for as long as he had wanted? Those days seem so long ago. He used to be able to nap in the afternoon if he wanted it, he used to be able to tell Balin to hold everything, because he wanted to sleep in. He had spent hours of his day with the Council, working on various matters of the kingdom, and then he'd escape outside and hunt with Dwalin.
Now, he's lucky if he's able to sleep until sunrise, typically Fili is in their bed before then. They've tried working with him, but Kili doesn't have it in him to be the disciplinary type, if he's honest with himself. Dwalin tends to be firmer with their son, but even he caves at those baby blue eyes. And with recent events, they seem to get even less sleep these days, even though Kili didn't think it would be possible.
"I don't want to go back to bed! I want to go hunting!"
"For the love, just take him already," Dwalin moans, pulling the covers up over his head so his voice is muffled. "I want to sleep."
"You're lucky I love you," Kili mutters, shoving the covers back and he crawls out of the bed. He dresses quickly as Fili bounces by the door, and then drags his son out of his chambers and into the nursery so he's able to dress Fili properly, because he doesn't want him to be cold when they go outside.
"Let's go, let's go!" Fili enthuses, pulling on door handle for his bedroom. "The morning is almost gone!"
"The sun isn't even up yet, gem," Kili says, following Fili outside of the nursery chambers. They take a quick detour to the weaponry so Kili is able to grab his bow and a quiver of arrows. Fili screeches in delight when the guard hands him his miniature bow, and he clutches it to his chest.
Much to Kili's surprise, once they get downstairs to the gate, Dwalin is waiting by the stone wall, wearing the thick harness they had had made.
"Adad!" Fili screeches, running full speed ahead and he throws himself at Dwalin's legs, clambering up to his waist. "You're up!"
"This is a surprise," Kili grins, leaning up to give Dwalin a brief kiss. "What made you get up?"
"I can sleep tonight," Dwalin shrugs his shoulders. "Fili seems so excited to go out, and I didn't want to miss a moment. Besides, with all the commotion, someone else woke up."
"You're the best," Kili says quietly, leaning in to give him another kiss. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"
"Well..." Dwalin trails off, giving him a wink.
"Forget I ever asked," Kili says, rolling his eyes. He steps around to behind Dwalin, grinning at the sight of six month old Dorin strapped in the harness. He's bundled up, complete with a hat on his head that Bofur had made him, but Kili's unable to stop himself from swooping in and giving him a kiss.
Dorin beams and screeches loudly, causing Dwalin to wince.
"I'm going to lose my hearing in both ears, if he keeps that up," he mutters.
"I'll take him in a little bit," Kili promises, giving Dorin another kiss on his plump cheek, causing him to kick his legs in glee.
"Stop kissing, let's go!" Fili pleads, already holding up his miniature bow. There’s nothing Fili loves more in the world than his baby brother – save for his bow and arrow. Something warms burns fiercely inside Kili’s chest when he sees Fili and Dorin together, something that feels a lot like home. "Please?"
"All right, little gem, let's go," Kili says, heading outside and his family eagerly follows behind him.
Kili would wager that they're the most unconventional family that Erebor has ever seen, but he's more than fine with it. It had taken him and Dwalin some time to find their stride, but now they're stronger than ever. Erebor has never flourished as well as it is now, and they have two strong sons.
There was a time when Kili had begged to be returned to the stone, where all he had desired was to see the light of Mahal's Halls, but now, when he looks around and sees everything he has, the future has never looked brighter .