Chapter Text
Fate is a cruel bitch. Anyone who thinks differently is either delusional or naïve. Or bastard, if one prefers. Whichever gender one associates with being more whimsy and vicious. Quite honestly, it doesn’t matter, and getting hung up on it will just make Fate laugh and laugh.~ Bitter reflections, entry #405.
Ethan Botecker, age 35…
He is dead, a burst blood vessel in the brain, a massive headache that never gets better, asleep and then he is gone. And then he isn’t.
~
Nameless Root member, age uncertain…
He is dead, and then he is alive. Relatively, that is. Another soul now inhabits his body, very confused at the dual memories, the knowledge of two deaths. And the fact that he is alive. Yes, he. (He had to check that, because this body has so little sense of self that he could not be certain without checking.)
“…?”
Again, he is confused, because this body has memories of being able to speak and there’s no reason for that to change. Of course, there’s no real reason for him to be in this body either, or to be alive, so… Apparently he’s mute now. It doesn’t seem to be from the injuries that temporarily killed this body, either. And he’s uncertain whether it can be counted as a blessing or curse in this instance. On the one hand, he’s unable to give himself away by a different way of speaking now, but on the other, it’s impossible to explain and he has very little in the way of communication at his disposal.
This body knows a bit of writing, enough reading to ascertain target information and read scrolls, if barely, and a few Root handsigns that they all have to know. There is very little this body truly knows beyond orders, the so-called infallibility of Shimura-sama, and killing techniques. It is a problem.
He has a passing familiarity with the manga Naruto. As in he once read through to giant snakes showing up during some exam, had to wait for chapters, and wasn’t interested enough to ever come back and read more. This body has no real clues as to where in the timeline he happens to be, just the knowledge that all he does is for the glory of Konoha. Which really? Total bullshit, just going off the memories of orders that this body has received in the past. He may not have a clue as to Shimura’s role in the series, but he knows a megalomaniac when he sees one. If Shimura’s not a ‘hidden villain’, he’ll be shocked.
But first things first. A name. ‘Ethan’ won’t work in this world, and he refuses to keep referring to his current incarnation as ‘this body’. So he’ll be… What? Oh. This body only has passing familiarity with name meanings, but does know one that has a similar meaning to ‘Ethan’. Kowashi.
Kowashi gets up and looks around, seeing that all his fellow Root members on this mission are obviously as dead as he had been a few moments ago. Part of him wants to cry and rage and throw up, try to bring obvious corpses back to life, because death is anathema to all he was raised with. Another part is unmoved entirely by the sight. He swallows hard and decides to go with the more practical reaction. No witnesses. That’s a good thing for him, alien as he is to this world. However, no evidence is a bit trickier. Either he can assume the nameless one’s place in Root and hope he goes undiscovered, or he can disappear. If he does the former, he’ll have to murder at the whim of a creepy old guy. If he does the latter…well, he needs a convincing corpse to leave in his place for the cleanup team to dispose of.
Fortunately, this isn’t a difficult thing. The nameless one had picked up a corpse that looks remarkably similar to him a few months ago out of some niggling curiosity that shouldn’t have been, and has carted the corpse scroll with it around with him ever since. It lacks a tattoo and a few identifiable scars, but the nameless one knew a genjutsu to mimic the tongue tattoo, and that there’s no reason for a cleanup team to do an in-depth examination of the corpse to find other telltales. The cleanup team won’t know the cause of death, particularly if there’s several days for decomposition to set in, so mimicking cause of death isn’t needed, as long as he can match it to the evidence around him. Which is creepily easy. For reasons he really, really doesn’t want to think about. Ever.
~
Kowashi knows he needs to know more in order to survive, so he finds a deserted place far from the corpses, and considers his options. The nameless one knew little, but there are a few things he knew that are useful.
Fact 1: Orochimaru is a traitor, condemned by the village.
Fact 2: Shimura dislikes the Uchiha and does all he can to discredit them. Which means that the Clan is still alive. Although Kowashi knows this is important, he is uncertain as to why, since all he knows is that the sole survivor’s brother supposedly killed off his own clan.
Fact 3: The Uchiha are known to have not engaged directly against the Kyuubi. That means the protagonist, Naruto, has been born and his parents are dead.
Fact 4: Shimura keeps backup copies of his records, which he keeps obsessively. However, he never checks the backups to see if they have been disturbed or stolen.
Fact 5: For a would-be mastermind, Shimura is entirely unimaginative. All his vault combinations are identical, so he can always open them without having to stop and remember which one to use. The nameless one was disposable, but he was also one of the few who knew the combination.
Fact 6: Shimura believes the Hokage is weak, but he also claims that the Hokage approves of his less than legal operations. Therefore the Hokage is of questionable reliability in this matter. However, Shimura is wary of letting the Jounin Commander know anything, which speaks of a fear of the man discovering his activities.
Fact 7: The nameless one came from the orphanage and Shimura has no interest in children who are already on the Academy rolls. The nameless one was still quite young, and looked rather younger yet. Thus the Academy is the perfect place for Kowashi to hide in plain sight until the Jounin Commander happens to notice him and demand an explanation, at which point he can turn over the pilfered documents. As a bonus, he can learn more about this world and how it works in the Academy.
Fact 8: Kowashi doesn’t know anything of real use, therefore, trying to keep things the same is doomed to failure. Not least because he suspects that in the manga the nameless one was dead and not replaced by a very confused and mostly ignorant someone from another world.
In conclusion, he decides, pilfering the backup documents and blending into the Academy is his best choice. Also, he should probably quit dying his hair the dull color Root required if he wants to not be noticed immediately as a little Root escapee. Better safe than sorry, even if blue hair does stand out more than he’d like.
~
Sensei Daifuko frowns at the roster. For some reason he doesn’t remember this student or his name, which is strange. He flips back a couple pages and finds the attendance records are in order and shrugs it off. It must be because the student is so quiet.
“Suzuki, Kowashi.”
The blue haired boy just raises a hand in response.
“Kowashi, you should reply aloud. Please remember this for the future.”
To his mild surprise, the boy shakes his head, then points at his throat and awkwardly makes the sign for ‘quiet’. Has the boy been told to not speak up? Or is he too shy to speak up? Either way, he won’t have it. Rules are rules for a reason.
“Kowashi, regardless of your personal preference-”
“Sensei?”
Daifuko blinks at the interruption and looks at the Uchiha heir, the genius of the class. “Yes, Itachi?”
“Suzuki-san is mute. He can’t answer aloud. If you need, I could read any answers he writes aloud to you.”
Oh. For Kami’s sake, why put a cripple in his class? But he supposes it doesn’t matter, and the Uchiha genius has already volunteered to make him less of a liability for the class.
“I see. Alright. Please do that, Itachi. Ahem. Sano, Ikue.”
“Here, sensei!” His class’s worst female student responds cheerfully.
~
Kowashi is startled that the several years younger boy next to him has picked up on his muteness, but grateful for his explanation to the teacher. Having the Jounin Commander notice his presence is one thing. Having a teacher notice is a little less welcome. Fortunately he’s had the foresight to slip forged papers into the Academy records, so any casual search will simply show that the teachers have heretofore failed to remember his unremarkable presence in class. Well, as unremarkable as someone with blue hair and muteness can feasibly be, of course.
It takes a few days to find out that young Itachi is the Uchiha clan heir, and thus probably the person who will slaughter his own clan in a few years. Kowashi spends a few hours covertly staring at Itachi during school after learning this.
Itachi, oddly, interprets this as a request for help and starts explaining things that Kowashi has a bit of trouble with in a low voice during classes. Which is extremely useful.
Kowashi isn’t blind though. If Itachi’s the kind to snap and kill his own clan for no reason, then Kowashi is a monkey’s uncle. No way, no how. The kid hates conflict. There’s something wrong here, and he can hazard a guess at how that comes about. Shimura using his propaganda to make everyone regard the Uchiha as less than deserving rights, then using his power to push them into a corner where he can wipe them out. Pretty much like Hitler and the Holocaust.
Well, fuck that. Those who don’t learn from history, deserve to die from repeating history, and like hell Kowashi’s going to be that moron who lets the Holocaust repeat because of a delusional megalomaniac. If the Jounin Commander doesn’t notice in the half year until graduation, then he’ll just have to keep Itachi on his side so he has an ‘in’ on what’s going on. If all else fails, he’ll just assassinate the old creep. The nameless part of him might see nothing wrong with Shimura’s methods, but the part of him who is Ethan knows better. Kowashi is more Ethan than not, really, and he doesn’t fucking approve of Shimura’s nasty habit of turning kids into sub-human, disposable pawns and setting them against each other so that 50% of them die before they’re even useful. That’s as disgusting as the fucking Roman coliseum, and that’s saying a lot, given that the Romans fucking booed if someone didn’t die fast enough.
~
Kowashi learns a lot over the next few months. His writing improves a bit, his reading skills double (although he’s still below class standard), the Academy katas leave him wrong footed and he deliberately misses the targets as often as not (on purpose). It doesn’t seem to matter. He can do upper math, and the three basics, so they graduate him. He’s not even the lowest scoring graduate. It’s pretty ridiculous, given what schools were like in his previous world. This is the prestigious Academy? Yeah, right. Even his half-illiterate self can tell that the histories taught in class have gaps wide enough to lose a country in. Or possibly six countries. Cultural differences are brushed over so lightly that the other kids probably miss them altogether. The most important thing he learns is Konoha standard ninja signs, and that’s all from Itachi.
Maybe it shouldn’t be surprising when he’s placed on Itachi’s team. After all, Itachi’s the only genin who can communicate with him well. Their jounin sensei is good, not that it’s a surprise given that Itachi is a known prodigy. Being a genin isn’t actually that hard, though surprising the amount of chores it comes with. At least they’re paid well for them. Kowashi can finally afford to rent a proper apartment instead of living in an abandoned building and paying to wash in the bathhouse twice a week and scrounging food in the forests. Although ‘proper’ is sort of like saying an old college dorm is the Ritz. Yeah, no. But legal, at least.
The C ranks come soon enough. They aren’t as easy, but Team 2 manages a perfect record. Even with that ninneko mission that shall not be mentioned included in the mix. It earns them the honorary escort mission for the Fire Daimyo’s routine trip to Konoha. Kowashi would rather skip the honor, to be honest, but Itachi seems happy about it and Shinko, the third member of their team, is openly excited about it. Even their sensei is smug about it. Not that Kowashi gives a damn about their sensei’s opinion. The man is a little too petty about Itachi’s obvious talent to have any respect for him. If he wasn’t hiding his own skill level, he’s certain that he too would be getting the petty treatment. It’s obvious that Itachi has caught on to that, but he doesn’t call him out on it, for which Kowashi is duly grateful.
Naturally, the ‘easy’ escort mission is when everything goes to hell.
He has a moment to wonder ‘Why is an Uchiha attacking us?’ and then he’s dying again. Honestly, it pisses him off. At least he made it past thirty the first time. Is this body cursed or something?
When he opens his eyes, he’s puzzled. Nothing really hurts and he’s alive, but probably the most puzzling thing is that he’s still Kowashi. If death isn’t going to stick. And what even is that all about? If it’s not going to stick, he’d have expected to wake up in a different body after the last time. Whatever.
He can hear Shinko’s stifled sobs and see Itachi’s rigid back. With a sigh he sits up and looks around. Impossible to survive wound barely a scratch now, check. Daimyo’s guards dead, check. Sensei dead, check. Daimyo alive and speaking with Itachi about something, check. Attacker nowhere in sight, check. What a mess.
With a scowl, he gets up and walks over to tap Itachi on the shoulder.
Itachi jumps and whirls, weapon drawn, then stares at him wide-eyed. Both eyes have a spinning sharingan. Ah, fuck. Doesn’t the sharingan come from seeing someone die? This kid is so traumatized. He’s definitely dragging him to a therapist as soon as they get back.
‘That sucked. Why did an Uchiha attack us?’ He signs, annoyed at dying again. Not to mention that as the oldest he’s probably technically the leader now.
“Are you sure?” Itachi finally asks.
He nods. There’s no way someone not related to Shisui moves like that, and he’s sure he saw a glimpse of sharingan before he died. Again. Note to self: That Uchiha is officially on his hit list.
“Sure of what?” A voice behind him asks, and it’s Kowashi’s turn to spin like a startled cat.
It takes him a moment, but he recognizes the speaker. The jounin sensei of the protagonist. What was his name? All he remembers is that the guy has a sharingan under that hitai-ate and he can use lightning. But jounin. This means he no longer has to be in charge. Fabulous!
‘The attacker was an Uchiha. Male. Similar-’ Well hell, if there’s a sign for ‘age’, he doesn’t know it. ‘Number.”
“Same hair?” The jounin asks in confusion.
Frustrated, Kowashi turns so Itachi can see him signing as well and repeats himself.
“Ah, he says that the attacker was a similar age to you, Hatake-san.” Itachi interprets.
“That’s-”
Kowashi doesn’t hear what Hatake-san says, because Shinko has noticed that he’s alive and tackles him sideways, sniffling loudly.
“I thought you were dead! I thought you died! And then sensei died and he almost got Itachi-kun too, but then he just ran off! And I’m so glad you’re alive. I thought you were dead!”
Since signing is impossible with his impromptu limpet, he gives up and pats her back.
“The wound wasn’t as deep as we thought, Shinko. Kowashi just passed out from the pain for a bit.”
He looks up in time to see Hatake-san’s eyes narrow, obviously wondering why Itachi is lying. Well, that’s a problem for later. For now, he just pats Shinko on the head as she starts apologizing for aggravating his wound.
~
Itachi draws him away after the funeral and states, “You were dead.”
He should have expected this. He debates whether to lie or not, then shrugs.
‘Yes. I died before, when I was in Root. When I wake up the wounds aren’t fatal anymore, but they don’t heal quicker.’
“Root?”
‘Yes. Secret. S-h-i-m-u-r-a leads. Hates Uchiha. Spreads bad talk.’
Itachi looks startled. “You mean he spreads rumors about my clan? And Root is a secret division, like ANBU?”
He nods.
“Then…did he send you to watch me?”
‘No. Similar corpse, left in place. Hide from in open. Not care about dead Roots, just make more.’
“So he doesn’t know you’re alive?”
‘Truth.’
“Are you sure? Doesn’t being mute make you stand out?”
Kowashi shakes his head. ‘Could talk before. Died and died. No talk now. Died again, no change.’
“So you have died three times now, and you don’t know why you’re mute now?”
‘Truth.’
“Why did you say it was an Uchiha who attacked us on the mission?”
He frowns, unsure how to phrase it. ‘Red eye wheel. Moves like Shisui. Only Uchiha can. Maybe why S-h-i-m-u-r-a think Uchiha bad. Big fox.’
“Maa, maa, that’s quite an accusation.” Hatake-san notes, dropping down beside them, looking satisfied at startling squeaks out of both of them.
‘Stupid lightning! Try kill heart!?’ Kowashi signs indignantly. Giving him a heart attack isn’t really a good way to endear oneself to him.
Hatake-san eye smiles obnoxiously. “Of course not. I just thought I should join in the conversation since I may have more information than you two.”
Kowashi gives him the finger.
“Rude. Besides, if you can come back from the dead, it’s hardly worth my time to try to kill you as long as you’re not a threat to Konoha. I was in Root for a time, myself, but it’s supposed to have been disbanded under the Sandaime’s order. Are you saying it has not been?”
‘Truth. Left two number ago.’
“Two years ago?”
He nods, a little impressed at how fast Hatake-san is picking up how to translate his awkward signing.
“And you think Shimura-san may be encouraging rumors about the Uchiha because he dislikes them and suspects them of being behind the Kyuubi attack?”
Kowashi shakes his head. ‘Know. Started talk, bad talk. Might think attacker Uchiha behind fox. Wait. Power hungry. Think Hat his. Want Itachi to kill Uchiha all. Hat man not stop.’
“So you know for certain he’s behind the rumors about the Uchiha, and you don’t know if he has good reason or not to think an Uchiha was behind the Kyuubi attack, but you think it could have been the same Uchiha who attacked on your mission if that’s the case?”
‘Truth.’
“You think that he wants to kill an entire clan and that the Hokage approves of this?”
He scowls and shakes his head. ‘S-h-i-m-u-r-a think Hat man weak. Lie, lie, lie. Hat man not stop if not know. Think Hat his. Fear red eye wheel that see truth. Make people fear, people happy fear ones die. Remove power piece could stand against, other pieces weaker. Noble power games. Only care for self. Lie, lie, lie.’
Hatake-san stares at him for a long time, then sighs. “Unfortunately, that’s probably about the same time he was ordered to disband it, so that’s not really proof. I don’t suppose you’d tell this to the Hokage?”
‘No. Hat man not strong.’
“Is there anyone you would be willing to tell?”
‘Shadow man.’ He replies after a moment, remembering the Jounin Commander is a Nara. Then he glances at Itachi and realizes the boy is shaking. Maybe talking in front of him about old creepy wanting him to kill his own clan hadn’t been that great of an idea. He puts a hand over Itachi’s hand briefly to get his attention. ‘Not dead. Not dead. Can stop. Okay? Not let happen.’
“Big promises.” Hatake-san sounds half amused, half sad.
Kowashi scowls at him again. ‘Stupid lightning.’
~
They say Luck be a Lady. I call bullshit. Historically, the god of luck and gambling was the two faced Janus. One face laughing, the other face crying. If there’s a personification of Luck, it sure as hell doesn’t care whether one’s luck is good or bad. And meanwhile, either way, I can guarantee that Fate is rolling on the couch, laughing itself sick. ~Bitter reflections, entry #231
Shinko has decided to go back to civilian life. Honestly, he can’t blame her. But it does mean that they’re waiting for a new sensei and a new teammate. He eyes the Hokage warily while they wait. The Sandaime might be a weak leader when it comes to dealing with internal problems, but that doesn’t mean he’s a weak ninja, or stupid.
The teammate shows up first. He takes a long look at the scar across the Aburame’s throat, recognizing him vaguely as one of Shimura’s pets. There’s no reason for the Aburame to recognize him, however, so it’s probable that he’s just a ploy on Shimura’s part to keep an eye on Itachi. Objecting would be suspicious, and the Aburame might have orders to kill if his cover is blown.
Their new sensei, however… How the hell? Absolutely not. There is no way he’s letting himself be put in a position where he and Itachi can easily be pressured by their sensei to be Shimura’s minions, or be disposed of easily if they don’t comply.
‘No. Not him. Want stupid lightning.’ He signs emphatically, backing away and nudging Itachi along with him.
“Genin do not get to choose their sensei.” The man reprimands in a flat monotone.
‘No! Want stupid lightning!’
“Just a moment, Daisuke. I’m curious. What is ‘stupid lightning’?” The Hokage intervenes.
“Ah, I believe he means Hatake-san, Hokage-sama.” Itachi offers. “He was sent as support for our mission, so Kowashi met him shortly after the attack.”
“I see. And why does he call him ‘stupid lightning’?”
A tiny smirk curls Itachi’s lips. “Because he startled us enough that Kowashi accused him of trying to give him a heart attack.”
The Hokage chuckles. “Kakashi does have a habit of appearing without warning. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone call him stupid before, though. However, Kakashi is not one of our jounin sensei, so I’m afraid that you’ll have to settle for the sensei picked out for you.”
‘No. Not him.’
Weirdly, the Aburame bestirs his insects and has them make somewhat tinny sounds that form into words. *I have no objection to sensei.*
Kowashi curls his lip. Of course he wouldn’t.
Itachi looks back and forth between them, then clears his throat. “Actually, Hokage-sama, while I understand that Hatake-san cannot be our sensei, I have never known Kowashi to take an active dislike to someone before, so I also would like to request a different sensei. I trust his instincts.”
“Hmmn.” The Hokage taps his fingers on the desk, then picks up his pipe, smoking while he considers. “Very well. Daisuke, you are dismissed back to your former duties. Yōji, you may leave as well. I need to discuss something with these two.”
Neither have much reaction to that, simply excuse themselves and leave.
“So.” The Hokage puts down his pipe and steeples his fingers. “Truthfully, you dislike Yōji as well, correct?”
Kowashi frowns, not having expected the insight. ‘Not dislike. Not trust.’
“Interesting. And Daisuke sensei? Why is your reaction to him so strong?”
He throws up his hands in disgust, because not being able to talk is the worst. Itachi pats his arm calmingly, and he settles with a huff. ‘Not trust. Not want die. How many teammates come back alive? Small heart sensei enough. Refuse no heart sensei.’
The Hokage raises a brow and looks at Itachi for interpretation.
Itachi flinches slightly. “Kowashi called Minazuki sensei ‘petty sensei’ because Minazuki sensei didn’t like me. I think he’s calling Daisuke sensei ‘emotionless’ or ‘heartless’.”
Kowashi nods. ‘Both. No will, only duty.’
“Hmmn. And your distrust aside, what do you think of Yōji as an addition to your team?”
‘Two no talk on same team? Stupid. Civilian not understand sign. Civilian run from bug boy, scared. What if Itachi hurt, need help? Not smart choice.’
“I see. That is a very good point. I do not believe that your handicap was taken into consideration when selecting a new teammate. Very well. A new teammate and sensei will be assigned to Team 2 by the end of the week.”
~
This time, their new sensei and teammate are waiting for them. The teammate is a rather unremarkable girl, Himuka Suzukaze, who is far too emotional to be one of Shimura’s, so Kowashi has no issue with her.
“And this is your new sensei, Housei Akamichi.” The Hokage chuckles. “I take it you are pleased with this choice, Kowashi?”
Maybe his eyes lighting up at the idea of all you can eat delicious food hadn’t been as subtle as he thought. ‘Yes. Food.’
“Rations?” Itachi asks in puzzlement.
‘Dango.’ He clarifies, because that’s Itachi’s favorite, hands down.
Housei sensei laughs. “Ah, a man after my own heart. I can teach you how to cook, if you like.”
Kowashi considers. Nameless only knew how to fix tasteless rations. As Ethan he’d known how to cook a few things well, but Asian-type cuisine hadn’t been among them. ‘Maybe.’
The Akamichi doesn’t seem offended by his hesitance, though, and claps him lightly on the shoulder.
“Sensei, can I learn too?” Himuka asks eagerly.
“Of course. And Itachi-kun, if you like, I can teach you how to make dango if your mother hasn’t.”
“I would like that, Housei sensei.” Itachi says politely, but Kowashi can tell he’s as excited as the girl is. Good, the boy could use some joy in his life.