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“Figures.”
This coherent word was one of few delivered in a virulent hiss as Chloe stalked over her floorboards. Lucifer had called hours ago sounding remarkably determined about some damn thing or other and she’d expected him shortly afterwards.
No dice.
No answer to calls or texts.
No nothing.
Huh. Dammit.
That was The Problem Right There, wasn’t it? Like the idiot she apparently was, she’d expected him to do what he said, or follow-up, or just…not flake out. Again. What’d he say that first day in Linda’s office? Oh yeah.
“I’m like heroin. Very habit-forming. Never ends well.”
Well. He was right. None of that was a lie.
Chloe sighed. She’d had Trix go to bed some time ago and her daughter was now sleeping soundly, soft snores and all. Maze was out god knows where doing god knows what with (or to) god knows who. She snorted; according to Lucifer himself god was his version of Daddy Dearest. Shooting a scathing look up at her skylights she snarked, “Well maybe YOU know where he is, because I sure as hell don’t.” Turning away to follow the siren call of the unopened wine bottle on her kitchen counter, Chloe missed the safety light outside flare brighter for a second or two before the bulb burned out.
Bottle uncorked in one hand and large balloon glass in the other she crossed her arms ferociously over her chest, thumped her back on the front door, slid down slowly and settled in to wait. AGAIN.
Goddammit.
~ * ~
Thanks to his brother Lucifer looked better than he felt. But still. He’d knocked, but nothing. Perhaps Chloe had fallen asleep waiting? He knocked again, a little louder this time and then looked down at the lower part of the door in confusion – he thought he’d heard something on the other side; but what? It sounded like a voice but that didn’t make any sense at all….
Oh wait, there it was again. And yes, a voice it was. A rather slurred one.
“Ow. Loud much? H’lo?”
Oh dear. By the sound of it his Detective was drunk. And an inebriated Chloe was a dangerous Chloe, snoring not the least of it as she was both precious and prickly when vulnerable. Lucifer debated with himself on simply tip-toeing away. Clearly she was angry enough to wallop the bottle and…yeah. Nothing good would come of him adding his issues to that alchemic equation until sobriety was in the mix. He’d just started to turn when he heard a muffled thump and a mumble that sounded suspiciously like an off-color epithet.
“Whoozat? S’late. Too late.”
Then a strenuous rattling of the door. Lucifer saw the knob twisting and his guts went right along with it. Then a rather belligerent bellow.
“LATE!”
The knob shook so hard the door rattled in the frame.
“LUCIFER FRIGGIN’ MORNINGSTAR! A’ways too late for ever’thing. When ya bother t’show up AT ALL, that is! Pretentious jerk!”
The door rocked open suddenly only to be stopped by the slide-chain, unfortunately not before hitting pause on a pale forehead. “OW!” More muffled words, possibly (probably) salty ones.
“Detective?! Dearie me, are you all right?!”
“Not on many levels, so shuddup.” Chloe grumbled, managing to both rub the bump rising on her hairline and unfasten the chain. Lucifer was impressed at her coordination, considering. And it seemed the thwack on the head had stopped her speech slurring, so that was – good? She backed away a few steps to allow him entrance and the look she shot him was as icy as what her poor little noggin probably needed.
“Let me help.”
“You do more than enough already.”
Lucifer brushed past her on the way to the kitchen, thinking her tone sounded a little….sarcastic?
Rummaging in the freezer he heard, “Get the Brussel Sprouts. Trix hates those and frankly so do I and Maze won’t eat anything green anyway.” Lucifer was pretty sure he heard ‘she’s a pain in my ass, too,’ but he could’ve been mistaken.
Lucifer ignored her. Peas made better icepacks; everyone knew that. He bustled her over to the couch and pushed her to a sit. Chloe being very tipsy this did not require even a modicum of his celestial strength, but he was hyperaware of the delicate brutality of foisting one’s own will upon another. Even well-meaning.
Lucifer made the deliberate choice not to think of what damage the umbrella of ‘well-meaning’ might cover with the current inclement weather of conversation brewing.
And anyway, he was also rather preoccupied with the massive effort it took not to just cave at her mis-matched sock feet.
Ridiculous.
The whole thing.
He was a Son of God for crying out loud, even IF he and his father weren’t on speaking terms. And yet he was looped around this little human’s finger and could not for the life of him want to be anywhere else.
(he could practically hear Yeshua laughing from realms just beyond)
‘shut your pie-hole you cocky little twit’
“What?”
Oops. He’d said that aloud.
“Nothing, darling. Here, let me…”
Lucifer disregarded Chloe’s ineffectual hand-batting and bundled her under a ridiculously holey (er, perhaps ‘holy’ more suited for his father’s inconvenient miracle) throw blanket. He fished out the remotes from between the sofa cushions along with a half-eaten snack bar (hopefully Trixie’s) and a length of bondage rope (hopefully Maze’s).
“Here now Detective. Let’s just…”
“Get off – go away; I don’t need your help. Ow.”
Lucifer shot her a look. It would be easier to take Chloe seriously if she wasn’t trying (and failing) to balance the towel-wrapped peas on her forehead AND fumble with the remote he’d handed her.
“No of course not, you’ve clearly got it all well in hand.”
“You’re a jerk. Did I say that already? I meant to say that already.”
“Yes, you did and yes you’re right. I am. But probably not for the reasons you’re thinking of. We can talk about that later, though…here, just…” Lucifer huffed out a sigh and took matters into his own hands for the moment. Chloe put up a small fuss as he hurriedly chose an old black and white flick and got them settled in so he could hold the cold pack on his Detective’s head without his arm falling asleep. This meant of course that she was propped up on cushions and half-tucked into his side (something he clearly found less objectionable at the moment than she did).
But she was either very drunk or clearly concussed because within a matter of moments she was sound asleep and (predictably) sawing logs. Lucifer found himself thinking that exhausted as he was himself he’d NEVER fall under the Sandman’s spell what with that racket in his ear. However, he’d been wrong about things before and this was just another one.
In the kitchen, a small nightlight burned several degrees brighter as the two slept.
~ * ~
Chloe woke in the steely grey dawn to an irksome grab-bag full of yuck: a headache, a clammy bag of peas on her shoulder, a crick in her neck and a severe case of noxious cottonmouth.
And apparently those assorted irritants included one Lucifer Morningstar as well. Even without her eyes open that scent of expensive tobacco, more expensive whisky and pompousness was unique and unmistakable.
And apparently he snored a little too, that jerk.
She elbowed him a little as she cracked open her eyes and then stopped. Everything.
Breathing.
Thinking.
Processing.
All of it.
Reality as she knew it came to a screeching halt. And then split into wide fragments and she shattered into all the fissures rent through her understanding of absolutely everything.
“Jesus Christ,” Chloe whispered hoarsely as she finally ricocheted back into her brain.
“What?! Where?” The words seeped from her couch-mate groggily. He still had his eyes shut tight but now his brow wrinkled in consternation.
“Oh God!” This exclamation was louder by far and since despite her best efforts she was STILL tangled in this damn blanket next to WHAT IN THE WORLD Lucifer actually winced at the volume. Or the words themselves, maybe.
“No, not him too, bloody hell, Detective!”
She slammed her mouth shut and put all effort into getting some distance between, between…between herself and the reason her reality was unraveling. Unfortunately she was still well-bound in the blanket and her unfruitful struggles only made it worse.
The fact that they were both covered in TREMENDOUSLY IMMENSE WINGS didn’t make the extrication process any easier.
Eyes still screwed tight, Lucifer groaned. While he highly doubted his father and brother were the actual reasons for Chloe’s writhing reveille, SOMEthing was clearly buzzing under her bonnet. Perhaps the child had come in and her mother did not want her to see them curled up on the couch like a pair of teenagers? He finally got a hold of himself, blinked and looked around to see what all the fuss was.
Oh.
No.
Oh no. Oh no….
He looked over at where Chloe had gone still beside him once more, “I can explain…”
Feathers forgotten, she cut him off, aghast.
“Lucifer… your eyes. Your. Eyes.”
Blast.
He knew they weren’t glowing; he had to put intention into that but clearly he’d been so compromised by the events of last night his guards had dropped. Enough to reveal his wings….and apparently his real eyes, too. Lucifer felt a giant chasm open inside his chest, but steeled himself. He’d intended to make her see the truth before the attack and subsequent rescue, hadn’t he? And no, this wasn’t the way he’d wanted to go about it but in for a penny now, so… he stayed calm and tried to hold one of her hands where it was twisted into the blanket.
Chloe flinched away and her expression showed terror. He felt the edges of that hole under his ribs begin to crumble and he started to slip into it. No, no…he never wanted to see that look on her face, much less be the cause.
He was terrifying, he knew…but not with her…he could not bear this expression on her. Long ago she’d said she wasn’t scared of him, or what he said he was…but academic exercise was far different from reality, he knew.
He still couldn’t stand it.
Actually, he could not stand at all since despite the outbursts Chloe was still tangled in her (stupid) blanket half on his lap.
He wasn’t sure which of them were currently more shell-shocked.
He was sure which of them had more right to be, so he started speaking softly. “Detective. Chloe. It’s just me. Still me. The ‘me’ you’ve always known. All right?”
Her glassy stare eventually shifted to slow blinks from big sky eyes. Her mouth opened, lips trembling as she croaked, “You’re…you are….”
“Yep.”
“…you’re really…”
He suddenly couldn’t stand to hear her say ‘the devil’ because he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that was NOT who he was with her. But before he could speak –
“You’re an angel. An actual angel. Oh my god.” Small pause and forehead wrinkle. “Oh shit, can I even say that? God?! Is ‘oh-emm-gee’ better? Shit! No, crap I probably can’t say that either, oh my god – oh NO – oh shit – I just…”
She finally untangled her hands from the conspirator blanket and clapped them over her mouth. Despite the seriousness of the situation seeing those beautiful blue eyes gape wide over the whitened knuckles just cracked him up with the ridiculousness of it all.
Lucifer burst out laughing, head back, wings and arms splayed loose and did it so hard that Chloe slid off his legs onto the floor. She landed with a small indignant squeak and for some reason that just made him laugh harder.
And then after a moment she started in, too. Despite being created as a musician Lucifer thought he’d never heard sweeter music than Chloe’s half-snorting burbles. He took the moment of relief to quickly close his eyes and then his wings back within himself.
Not before the front door slammed shut, though, and they both twisted to the noise.
His eyes, his human eyes, popped open to meet the incredulous dark amber ones of his demon. Who’d apparently seen everything?
“What the hell, Lucifer?!”
“Really, NOT now – look here, the child is still sleeping - keep an eye out will you? Keep her away until I…” He twisted his hands through the air, trying to convey ‘fix this mess’ without actually saying the words. Because that would make ‘the mess’ part real. And he was hoping against hope for just ‘fixing’.
“Fine. Oh, and good luck with that.” Maze said flatly, looking at Chloe still sprawled on the floor.
“Yes yes, right, thank you. Off you go.” He leaned forward when she hesitated. “Please, Maze.”
“You owe me. You SOOOOOO owe me.”
“Yes I do. Add it to the tab, yeah?”
And off she went.
Initial shock and moment of levity gone, Chloe and Lucifer were left staring at one another. He slowly extended a hand to help her off the floor and after a brief hesitation she took it. Wrapping herself tightly in the blanket she perched on the arm of the couch, glowering down at him. He looked the same as always now. But, but…
Staring holes down into his kneecaps, Lucifer took a deep breath and started again. “We have some things to talk about, I know. This IS what I wanted to tell you…just not this way.”
“Understandable.”
Cautiously, Lucifer peeked up at her. Chloe was still pale, shaking a little too, but sounded more herself.
Good.
“Next shift together is Monday morning. Two days away. It’ll give you some time to regroup. Daniel will have your spaw – er - daughter tomorrow night. Think we can meet at the corner shop a bit early for that swill you call coffee? Have a little chat before work, perhaps? What do you say?”
Chloe kept on looking at him, her gaze far steadier than she felt. He said he never lied. He'd said he was the Devil. And now she saw that he was what he’d always said, even if she didn’t understand. But then again, whoever completely understood another? He’d told her long ago she never could and now…now Chloe knew what he’d meant. But she’d never backed down from a challenge – ANY challenge in her life. And didn’t plan on starting now. So.
“Okay.”
His relief was nearly palpable.
“One condition though.”
“Yes? Anything.”
“You’re buying the swill.”
His grin was more brilliant than all the stars he’d ever had a hand in creating. “All right. Punishment to wallet and good taste noted.”
They both turned their heads when they heard Maze and Trixie talking in the hallway. Rising off the couch, Chloe motioned him up. “C’mon, I don’t want to explain to Trix what you’re doing here – or anything else yet, okay?”
“Too late – I see him! Hi, Lucifer!!” He peered over Chloe’s shoulder at the sleep-ruffled little girl and offered a wan smile. He saw her begin to bolt before Maze leaned over to circle one arm around her shoulders and whisper in her ear. Whatever she said halted the rush and his demon winked at his sigh of relief.
Chloe walked him out the door and paused when he turned back on the narrow stoop. “Sure you’ll be all right, Detective? Won’t be standing me up come Monday morning now, will you?”
“That’s your shtick, not mine, remember?”
“Yes I do, Detective.” He looked down, abashed, and oddly enough, the vulnerability there went a long way to easing Chloe’s concerns. She hit him gently on the shoulder and he raised his eyes. His brown eyes, same as they’d ever been, but strangely, she found herself missing the others and wanted to see them again. After she’d gotten a chance to decompress, of course. Lucifer looked at her like he knew what she might be thinking and little more light crept into them. He smiled tentatively and turned to go, but stalled as she spoke again.
“Wait. No.”
He paused, confused. “’No’, what?”
She crossed her arms as she leaned on the doorjamb, slid her eyes off to the side and Lucifer could see her chewing at the inside of one cheek. Oh no…she’d changed her mind after all. He felt that sinking feeling deepen in his chest when he thought of being without her but having run off himself more than a few times he understood. Celestial yes, but he was still a damned mess AND on top of it, the actual Devil – sabbatical or no. Who in their right mind would want that around? Not pragmatic, level-headed Chloe Jane Decker, certainly. He tightened his jaw and waited for her to speak.
She looked up at him and he tried desperately not to fall into those eyes any further than he already had. Ah well, as he expected – no such luck. But Lucifer hated to watch her struggle so he just tilted his head to the side and cocking a brow, murmured ‘hmm?’
She took a deep breath.
He steeled himself: all right, here it comes - the world ends on fake hardwood floors and under a rust-spangled wind chime. A perfectly putrid illustration of the wreck his life had become. Again.
“No not ‘Detective’.”
Wait, what?
(by the reciprocal quizzicalness on hers he was sure his face was saying the same thing his brain was)
As her long habit with him, she rolled those gorgeous eyes. “That’s what I am – of several attributes actually – not who I am. As you should know by now. Lucifer.”
He was stunned.
She was making the distinction between name and designation and was doing it FOR HIM as well. Oh…he wasn’t sure if he wanted to smile like a lunatic or tear up. Perhaps both – he’d give it some serious thought as soon as he was off of this blasted stoop and away from this woman who held him in such thrall.
“Very well then. As you wish, Chloe. See you bright and early on Monday.”
His words were as soft as his smile and after he closed the door Chloe stood alone for a few minutes just thinking through the static in her mind. Or trying to. Some semblance thereof. It was always something with him -with them, really - wasn't it? And at the rate they were going since they'd known each other wouldn't it be funny if this wasn't even the weirdest thing ever?
Muttering 'shocker' under her breath, Chloe uncrossed her arms just as Trixie came flying down the hallway and blitzed right into her. Normal. Oh good. Yeah, let’s have some more of that.
“Oof…wow Monkey, what HAVE you been eating lately? Bowling balls?”
‘balls’, snickered Maze, passing through on the way to the kitchen.
Chloe shot her a censuring look but as always, Mazikeen parried it deftly. And then she waited, her toothy grin splitting her cheeks as Chloe’s eyes briefly went saucer-wide at the thought that maybe she ought to have a little chat with her clearly-from-out-of-town roommate as well because holy crap. Or…not-so-holy crap. Yeah.
Chloe felt her world start to go a little wobbly again.
“MOMMY!”
She was pulled back into herself by the only force in Nature stronger than possibly losing one’s mind: a determined child. She looked down at where Trix was tugging at her sweatpants. Dammit, did she have freaking angelic feathers on her or something?
“What?”
“I said, did you hear what Lucifer said to you?”
“Yeah Decker, did you?”
Maze was just being a dick, but her daughter was positively vibrating with glee. Chloe juggled a couple of glances back and forth between the two of them not sure who was more mischievous-looking. Which was really saying something considering the recent sharp uptick in her knowledge base Of Reality As She Had Known It.
“Um? ‘See you on Monday’?”
Trixie huffed with the foreshadowing indigence of tween years. “No Mom. Not that.”
Chloe had just had her brain eggs pretty well turned into a singed omelet AND there was apparently an actual demon laughing at her from the kitchen, so she really didn’t feel up for playing Twenty Questions. She let her arched brows be answer enough.
Her daughter rolled her eyes and turned to Maze. “Where’s that old movie we were watching the other night?”
“Which? Nightmare on Elm Street?”
“NO!” Trix fluttered her hands in a non-verbal ‘shut up please’ and gave her mother’s souring look a quick glance. “No, not that one – I slept through the whole thing Mom, honest. Didn’t see any of it.”
“Uh-huh.” Her world might’ve recently been turned upside down and inside-out but Detective Decker’s bullshit meter was working just fine, thanks.
Trixie gave her a winning smile (yeah good luck there, kiddo – me and you are having SUCHATALK later on – y’know, after I deal with Ms. Hellfire 2017 over here) and then turned back to Maze. “No, not that one. The one I definitely didn’t watch. The other one – with the princess and the giant and the masked swordsman and the guy with the funny name and…”
“Ew, stop babbling already. You mean The Princess Bride.” Maze paused, her eyes got huge and the look she and Trixie shared lit up the room. “RIGHT. HAH!”
“What?” Chloe wasn’t sure what was going on, but was liking whatever it was less and less.
“Sit down Decker – you sort of look like you need to anyhow. Me, you and the mini are gonna spend a nice wholesome Saturday morning together watching a flick.”
“I’ll get the popcorn!” Trixie scampered past her mother as Chloe was just starting to object that her daughter hadn’t even eaten breakfast yet. As Trixie rifled through the cabinets Maze steered her over to the couch and pushed her down, tossing the errant blanket on top of her head. Chloe spluttered as her roommate rummaged through the box next to the bookcase the TV sat in. “I haven’t even had coffee yet! And besides, we need to talk – like REALLY talk….”
“Yeah, yeah, but movie first. And forget the coffee; that’s amateur hour. You probably could use a couple shots. Linda sure did once I got her chillaxed enough to let me near her, and her whole job is sorting out weird shit.”
“Ergh.” Just thinking about liquor made Chloe’s stomach turn. But hang on… “Wait, WHAT? Linda knows about -” With serious difficulty she shut herself up as Trixie came back in - much to Maze’s delight.
“Here Mom. Vitamin C and other good stuff. You look like you could use it.” Trixie eyed the empty wine bottle on the coffee table and handed her a pomegranate juice and a scorched bag of microwave popcorn. She landed half on top of her, pulling A DEMON down on the other side and covered their laps with the blanket as Maze queued up the movie.
“Tell me again why watching something I’ve never seen is SO important RIGHT this second? Trix? Mazikeen?” Chloe hoped the tone said more than she wanted to verbalize in front of her daughter, but Maze ignored the prompt. On purpose, most likely.
“Sure Decker, but later. Movie’s starting.”
“Yeah Mom, later, definitely. As you wish.”
Maze and Trixie looked at each other, cackling, and for the second time that morning Chloe wasn’t sure who sounded more impish; her kid or an actual Hellion. She sighed – her mother would be so proud. Well whatever. Maybe this would give her a chance to gather her thoughts without freaking out completely.
About ten minutes into the movie, Chloe’s jaw dropped.
Nope, freak-out complete.
~ * ~
As you wish, dear readers.