unfortunatelyevent



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  1. Rec *

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    [Ilya Rozanov yawns and stretches shirtless in his kitchen. Pajama pants hang low on his waist, and his hair is rumpled from sleep. He smiles and waves at the camera, and when he comes closer, he leans down so his face is level with the camera, his eyes bright even though he’s obviously tired.]

    Ilya: Good morning! It is ass o’clock, and I hate that I am awake, but today you are going to spend the day with me and my boyfriend. And I know what you are thinking, ‘what man could possibly be worthy of you, Ilya?’ and I get it. I ask myself this every day, but my boyfriend is very wonderful, even if he is much, much less famous than me and not nearly as good at hockey, and I think it’s about time you all get to know him. So, yay boyfriend reveal! And now I’m going to make him his disgusting breakfast smoothie, and then bring you along for our day together because my friend Harris Drover says I need more content on the internet, and what better way to do that than to tell you I’m bi, and that I have a boyfriend, and show you how disgustingly in love we are?

    [Ilya straightens so that his bare torso is the only thing in the frame, his abs flexing as he reaches over to turn on the blender.]

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    13 Jul 2026

  2. Rec *

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    After 18-year-old Shane's older brother wins the Stanley Cup, he decides to come stay at the Hollander family home for a couple of weeks to relax. Annoyingly, he also decides to bring along his super cocky, super hot teammate, 26-year-old Ilya Rozanov.

    *

    " “What,” Shane breathed, eyes glued to the screen. Rozanov had taken off his helmet and was now smiling at the commissioner. His usual shit-eating commercial-friendly Colgate-smile had been replaced by a more genuine one. He looked almost reverent as he ducked his head a little and shook the commissioner's hand. Shane could swear he saw dampness rimming the Russian’s grey-blue eyes.

    Despite him being a good friend of Spencer’s, Shane had never particularly taken to Rozanov. Cocky assholes with god complexes and unapologetic ragebaiting-kinks weren’t exactly his cup of tea."

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    08 Jul 2026

  3. Rec *

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    “Sweetheart, your pretty little head is so silly. For every photocard I make of ugly hockey men, I make two of my gorgeous, radiant, pulchritudinous boyfriend. Sometimes three.”

    A smile breaks through the heated haze of Shane’s expression. “You’ve been using the thesaurus Dad got you for Christmas?”

    “I will beat Yuna Hollander at Scrabble one day,” Ilya declares against Shane’s hip bone.

    In the year between the Cottage and the Centaurs, Ilya misses Shane more than ever. Svetlana’s teenage cousin offers a coping method: Kpop-style Shane Hollander photocards to stare at all day long. It's a shame carrying around pictures of fellow hockey players is just not socially acceptable.

    …At least, not yet.
     
    (AKA: Ilya's mission to desensitize the hockey world to his Hollander fanboyisms, and the NHL players that suffer for it.)

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    07 Jul 2026

  4. Rec *

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    Several MLH players have their phones hacked.

    Most people find embarrassing photos.

    Ilya Rozanov accidentally leaks five years' worth of sex reviews.

    -

    You know that TikTok trend where people rate how good the sex was in front of their partner?

    Yeah. It's that.

     
    📢📢📢
    UPDATED: (second chapter) July 12, 2026

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    06 Jul 2026

  5. Rec *

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    Selected text messages from the phones of Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander, circa 2020-2021.

     
    Troy Barrett: I’m planning to drive up to Toronto to finish packing up my apartment on Saturday, and I was wondering if you’d want to grab dinner after your game while we’re both in town?
    -
    Jane: …did you tell Barrett about us?
    Lily: no i promise
    Lily: he maybe thinks it is possible, but i did not tell
    Jane: I don’t think he has any idea
    Lily: what makes you say this
    Jane: Just a hunch

     
    Or: Troy asks for Shane’s number, and Ilya gives it to him. What could go wrong? Or maybe more importantly, what could go right?

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    30 Jun 2026