Jess_Storm



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    13 May 2026

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    Zane Boodram tries to plan his next barbecue. Ilya Rozanov refuses to let anyone know peace. Shane suffers in silence (mostly).

    A Centaurs texting fic.

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    13 May 2026

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    katrina @katisnowacensfan

    ilya rozanov saw me tweet that signing to the cens is the most indefensible thing he's ever done, said "hold my vodka" and started fucking his arch-rivals MOM. ily roz but you're stressing me out and we're barely halfway through the season.

    ---

    Someone takes a photo of Ilya and Yuna shopping for art and the internet runs with it.

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    12 May 2026

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    The problem is, no one knows how to market Ilya Rozanov's (in his own words) sexy Euro masculinity to an audience of white straight men.

    He needs the best. And if it happens to be his secret lover’s mother who despises his very existence, so be it.


    +16319607169

    See? That is what I need. Do not care that you are not professional. You are best
    This is Ilya Rozanov

    Yuna

    This is a fucking joke, right?

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    12 May 2026

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    “My boyfriend thinks I’m an idiot,” Ilya says. "Well, not really but a bit, maybe.”

    “Your boyfriend?” Sandra, the queer studies professor sits down, hard.

    “Yes, he thinks it is not smart to say faggot in the locker room when you are locked in the closet and Russia has the keys.”

    Ilya had been talking about himself when he’d said it. Making a joke. Sailing a little close to the wind, sick of listening to the background hum of homophobic bullshit. But someone had been filming. The video went viral. The Raiders panicked under the terrible PR. Now he was here.

    Sent to Queer Studies 101 to appease twitter. Because he’d been cancelled. For being a homophobe. If was fucking ridiculous.

    He turns to the professor. “So, can you help me take on Putin and NHL at same time or I need more advanced class for this?”

    Plus Chapter 2 – Social media chapter. Once they've been outed, Ilya gets to demand an apology from twitter.

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    12 May 2026