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Lessons in Flirting (Unintentionally and Definitely Not Romantically) by shrimprangoon
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
14 Sep 2025
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Summary
Hen sighs. “Something had to be said before you idiots put us in mortal peril.”
“I’d never do anything to jeopardize our safety on a job! You know that Hen.”
“Maybe not on purpose,” Chim chimes in, “but, see, the thing is, when you flirt with our Buck, his brain turns off. He just bluescreens.”
“You’re flustering the poor boy, Eddie,” Hen adds. “And it’s making him dumb.”
“-er,” Chim adds.
“Wha- Buck isn’t flustered.”
Eddie is flustered. His face feels hot. He takes another sip of his coffee to give his hands something do to, but that only makes him feel warmer. Shit.
Hen levels him with the most deadpan look. “Last week he walked into a stop sign after you called him ‘big boy’ on a call.”
Eddie nearly spits out his coffee.
Or: the one where Eddie subconsciously flirts with Buck without realizing and Buck is actively trying not to have a heart attack at work about it
Series
- Part 1 of Lessons in Dumbassery
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 45,342
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 379
- Kudos:
- 3,231
- Bookmarks:
- 855
- Hits:
- 56,703
Bookmarked by AlecIsSilver
18 Jun 2026
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Summary
“Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you stop being such a loser?”
He blinks a few times and turns to look at his son with raised eyebrows. Chris, who is wholly unimpressed, eyes him with practiced teenage irritation.
“Excuse me?” Eddie asks.
“You look so mad that Buck is talking to Tia Sofia.”
“I’m not mad,” Eddie insists. “I’m fine. I’m eating my churro.”
Everyone in the Diaz family loves Buck, but Eddie misses being the center of Buck's attention. He is super normal and subtle about it and Chris is soooo wrong to call him a loser. For sure. Definitely.
Series
- Part 3 of You're Still The One
Bookmarked by AlecIsSilver
16 Jun 2026
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Summary
“Who the hell is Evan?” Buck asks.
“Ummmmm, you?” Eddie draws in his bottom lip as a giggle makes an attempt at freedom. Doing this while wine-tipsy is making it significantly more difficult. “That’s your name.”
“That’s not my name to you.”
“That’s the name on our marriage license.”
What if you were GAY and at WINE NIGHT and you called your husband his LEGAL NAME to win MONEY… Eddie Diaz can relate.
Series
- Part 2 of You're Still The One
Bookmarked by AlecIsSilver
16 Jun 2026
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Summary
“Have you worked in a coffee shop before?”
Wow, Eddie. Great question to ask the guy that works at a coffee shop.
———
Or, Eddie meets Buck at a coffee shop.
Series
- Part 1 of oh my darling, oh my darling
Bookmarked by AlecIsSilver
16 Jun 2026
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Summary
"What— what do you see?"
"I see," Eddie says, measured, careful, "someone who looks like he wanted somebody to see him like that."
Buck's whole body goes hot.
"And I'm trying to decide," Eddie continues, slower now, his breath heavier, "whether I'm allowed to be that somebody."
The hand on Buck's thigh has migrated upward. He notices it three seconds after it happens, his palm now resting flat against his own stomach where his shirt has rucked up, fingers splayed across the skin. The touch of his own hand on his own body in this context is sending a current up his spine that he is, evidently, helpless to stop.
"Eddie." Buck's voice cracks. "Are you— are you jerking off to my photo?"
The pause is brief but loaded, and when Eddie answers it’s barely recognizable, every word landing somewhere in the south of Buck's body with a measurable physical impact.
"You send me a picture like that, Buck. What am I supposed to do?"
Or,
Buck wins a boudoir photoshoot giveaway. Eddie reaps the benefits.Or,
Buck accidentally sends his nudes to Eddie.Bookmarked by AlecIsSilver
15 Jun 2026

