crack fics
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Harry Potter and the Stupid Fucking Triwizard Tournament by notatakenusername
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
02 Jul 2025
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Summary
“‘...issues an apology for what he has said and done.’” Snape finished, flicking the Daily Prophet shut and looking at Harry expectantly. Did he expect him to get upset?
“Borrrrringgg!” Harry blurted out, as Snape’s gaze fixated into a scowl.
“Boring, Potter? Boring? The most publicized newspaper berating you and talking about your pathetic love life is boring?” Snape sneered.
“Yeah, it kinda is,” Harry said as he fake yawned. “My love life isn't pathetic. I don’t even have a love life. Nor do you, and you probably won’t have one anytime soon if your ego continues to stay the same size as your nose.”
The Slytherins gaped at Harry, a few openly chuckling as Snape’s expression shifted into the constipation™ look. Ron abruptly laughed so hard he proceeded to accidentally knock over the bottle of stinksap onto Snape’s robes.
Harry finally burst out laughing. He really couldn’t help it this time.
Or,
The moment Harry James Potter hears his name come out of the stupid, obese, wine-glass doppelganger, (also known as the Goblet of Fire), he's done holding himself back. Cue the chaos that happens when he gives into his impulsive thoughts.
Series
- Part 1 of crack fics
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Draco Malfoy and the Oddly Interesting Muggle World by notatakenusername
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
25 Jul 2025
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Summary
Draco had proceeded to enter this “Apple” store and found out it was a store for these odd rectangle-shaped things called “phones.” The worker had looked at Draco extremely condescendingly as he explained what a phone was. He seemed to give up once Draco asked what a “charger” was, and handed him a paper manual.
Well, time to get reading Draco supposed.
Thirty minutes later, Draco was the expert on phones. He bought one for himself and immediately went to the app store, downloading the first few apps he saw.
Oh well. He’d discover what “Wattpad”, “Twitter”, and “TikTok” were later! Time to explore more now!
Or,
Draco Malfoy had never doubted his father before– until now. Confused about the pureblood ideology on Muggles, Draco sets to explore the Muggle world himself. Naturally, chaos ensues.
Series
- Part 2 of crack fics