to see and be seen [queer aftg]
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i can't tell you if i like it / what happens if i don't like it? (i like you) by cake_lovin_ace for Lyndis
Fandoms: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
01 Jun 2021
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Summary
a lifetime spent on the run had left neil with little opportunity to think about mundane things like sex and relationships, with his mother always letting him learn of the futility of such endeavours with her fists.
now, though, neil was finally done running. he was a person now, and he had his team, he had his coach, and—most importantly—he had andrew. so why was this happening? andrew was different than the people he’d kissed when he’d been a boy, so why was kissing him bringing up the same sense of unfamiliarity and discomfort?
[or, neil no longer finds the same enjoyment in intimacy with andrew the way, and is Confused. questions and discoveries follow.]
Series
- Part 1 of to see and be seen [queer aftg]
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this power is yours (take it) by cake_lovin_ace
Fandoms: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
10 Jun 2021
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Summary
after realising he was ace neil had had a very good time, to say in the least. he’d done more research on asexuality and what it entailed; had joined online community forums and spaces; had consumed as much media as he could lay his hands on that contained ace representation; had brought a black ring, laughed at all the memes, bought a flag.
and through it all andrew had been his partner in every sense of the word. he had celebrated every high and held neil through every low, every moment of sudden doubt where he wondered if he really was ace and not just broken like the people online claimed he was; like the way he had felt all his life. he always had neil’s back when he jumped headfirsts into forums with bigots; sometimes logging in and leaving his own comments, other times listening quietly to neil rant, sometimes for hours.
and now, it was time to tell the foxes.
[or, neil comes out to the foxes as ace. confessions, tears and learning ensue.]
Series
- Part 2 of to see and be seen [queer aftg]
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float to the ceiling (don't wanna be coming down) by cake_lovin_ace
Fandoms: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
20 Jun 2021
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Summary
“i’ve always liked reading about bondage,” neil said, the admission coming easily under the weight of andrew’s hand on the back of his neck. he shifted on the couch so his body was curled towards andrew, putting an arm over its back and resting his cheek on it. “it used to bother me at first, when i first found it, but with time i stopped caring as much. with the correct filters what i read was vastly different from what i had experienced.”
he rubbed a hand over the scars on his wrists, fingers gentle after years of therapy. “i liked how it was described; that sense of relaxation, safety, surrender. trust. it makes me feel warm to think that such intimacy and peace can be found under an experienced dom’s hands, that something that can be so violating and terrible can be made soothing. the fic you read is actually one of my favorites. i really like the idea of using bondage to simply relax, rather than as a prelude to something sexual.”
[or, neil and andrew explore a new way to be intimate without being sexual, in light of neil's discoveries about his asexuality.]
Series
- Part 3 of to see and be seen [queer aftg]
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numb and afraid (of looking at myself) / fighting the feelings i hide (behind) by cake_lovin_ace
Fandoms: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
10 Jun 2022
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Summary
years passed. andrew grew older than he ever thought he would be, playing a stupid sport he could care less about.
and then there came a dangerous, red-haired menace who seemed to somehow look straight at the core of him without flinching. who had the clearest blue eyes he had ever seen; eyes which were weighed with the darkest horrors yet shining still with a stubborn desire to live that was almost unfamiliar to andrew; a desire that was spiteful in a way that was like looking straight into a mirror. here was a man who had been beaten to the ground utterly; who had been pointed at when he was down and told, stay, and, in response, had torn off the arm that dared direct him with his teeth. the scars of his defiance lined his face, his arms, and yet. there was no budging. his spite burned brighter still.
here was a man who was everything andrew was not. and so, andrew had tried to stay away. had ignored, avoided, brushed past until he could nearly fool himself into thinking that he was immune, indifferent to the siren call. but he was a fool for thinking he could ever resist.
[or, snapshots from andrew's life as a trans man and neil's persistent attempts at understanding him (and himself).]Series
- Part 4 of to see and be seen [queer aftg]