Chapter Text
My iPhone
7:07 pm hello louis
7:07 pm lorenzo is hear, mon cher. frog family in pool.
Saint Louis 💍🌹🌙
7:09 pm What am I supposed to do with this information?
My iPhone
7:09 pm my love, have yuo forgotten about our post-coital conversation on wensday last?
Saint Louis 💍🌹🌙
7:10 pm When I told you to kill him after dressing you up in lingerie and fucking myself on you until you were dick drunk?
My iPhone
7:10 pm yes, lou lou, that is the one. im hungry.
Saint Louis 💍🌹🌙
7:10 pm Alright.
7:12 pm You gonna make good on that promise?
My iPhone
7:12 pm yes.
7:12 pm when will you be back home.
7:12 pm i am missing you.
Saint Louis 💍🌹🌙
7:16 pm Soon, baby.
*Saint Louis 💍🌹🌙 sent an attachment with 2 photos*
7:17 pm Which book do you think would be better to send for Daniel’s deathday? Barnes and Noble is gonna close soon.
My iPhone
7:18 pm my louis, is that oj seemson! and who is this horse-faced blonde on the other book.
Saint Louis 💍🌹🌙
7:18 pm Yes, it’s his fuckass memoir. Daniel did an exposé on him back in the day and gets all riled up when people bring him up.
7:19 pm He doesn’t take kindly to men who aren’t very nice to women.
7:19 pm And that’s Ann Coulter, babydoll. Mean, nasty, blonde, bigot lady. Too many teeth in that mouth. Too much audacity for the amount of lip. Of which there is none.
My iPhone
7:22 pm i have just looked up who this anne cooter is, mon cher. i do not care for her work.
Saint Louis 💍🌹🌙
7:23 pm I’m glad lol.
7:23 pm So which one? Daniel hates both of these people- which would he hate more? Tryna fuck with him a little. All in good fun, of course.
My iPhone
7:24 well, he is not the biggest fan of moi, witch i will never understand. so maybe the blonde?
Saint Louis 💍🌹🌙
7:25 pm Lestat, you hit on him like a dog and simultaneously bully his husband and our mutual but separate ex-lover every time you see him. I think he’s getting mixed messages.
My iPhone
7:25 pm i think that monsieur molloy is a catch! un renard argenté 😏🌈🦊 sue me!!!
Saint Louis 💍🌹🌙
7:26 pm Watch it.
My iPhone
7:26 pm oh pssht 🙄 louis, u kno we both agree on this matter.
Saint Louis 💍🌹🌙
7:27 pm I know. Later, Les 😉
7:27 pm Gonna check out now.
My iPhone
7:28 pm louissssssss
7:28 pm hurry backkkkkk
7:28 pm my heart aches for u
Saint Louis 💍🌹🌙
7:31 pm I’m walking to the car, cher. Gonna have to fight through Metairie traffic but it’s late enough that it shouldn’t be too bad.
My iPhone
7:33 pm must you move so slowly?
Saint Louis 💍🌹🌙
7:33 pm: I'm driving with Do Not Disturb While Driving turned on. I'll see your message when I get where I’m going.
(This was an automated reply. I’m not receiving notifications. If this is urgent, reply “urgent” to send a notification through with your original message and following messages.)
Sent with Driving Focus
My iPhone
7:34 pm YRGENT
7:34 pm URGEEBT
7:34 pm URGNET
7:34 pm URGENnT!!!!!!
7:34 pm URGENT
7:36 pm every moment without you is like drowning without the air in my lungs. every minute without the sound of your voice is more agonizing than the sting of a thousand suns. when you were a mere twinkle in the eyes of god, before you were born, before i came to be, before the universe was created, i still yearned for you. every time i see you, i am momentarily filled with a grief so big and deep, it is a chasm in my soul that can only be filled by your touch, because i know that i will eventually be forced to tear my eyes away from you. your love is the purest i’ve ever known. i will love you beyond love beyond devotion until the last star in the universe explodes in valiant heat death. then and only then will we bask in the endlessness of eternity, resting hand-in-hand until a new universe is born.
7:37 pm come HOME i need your dick in my mouth or i’ll jupm from the roof.
Saint Louis 💍🌹🌙
7:38 pm I want you to know that the Bluetooth thing on this new bougie car read all of that Hannibal Lecter shit out word-for-word. I love you too. Please don't jump off the roof.
Sent with Siri
Saint Louis 💍🌹🌙
7:39 pm Your “urgent” text privileges are being taken away for good, I swear to God.
Sent with Siri
My iPhone
7:39 pm amore non è senza amaro :(
Saint Louis 💍🌹🌙
7:40 pm What the fuck?
Sent with Siri
My iPhone
7:40 pm COME HOME!!! :((((
Saint Louis 💍🌹🌙
7:42 pm I’m quite literally on the 610. The map says I’ll be home in seven minutes. Surely you can think of something to do for seven minutes.
Sent with Siri
My iPhone
7:43 pm seven minits without you is practically a life sentence.
Saint Louis 💍🌹🌙
7:44 Deal. Five more minutes. I’ll make it worth your while.
Sent with Siri
My iPhone
7:45 YAY! 😌🤞👅👅💦💦🍆🍆