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Tora reread the letter in her hand for what felt like the hundredth time. Was this really good enough? Maybe she should correct a sentence or two.
Beside her, Roy was finishing up his homework, checking and double checking what he had written for their assigned essay before he called it a day.
"Are you still working on that letter?" He asked his friend, turning to look at her over the top of his papers.
Tora shook her head.
"I finished it already," she admitted. "I've just been looking over it to see if there's anything I should fix."
"Haven't we been here for over 2 hours?" Roy contemplated, "how many times have you been looking over it?"
If tigers could blush, Tora would have. She felt her face growing warm as she replied untruthfully, "Not that many times... Maybe 10?"
Roy raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, more than that," Tora sighed, defeated. "I'm just so nervous."
"You've been spending a lot of time with her over the last seven months," Roy soothed. "I'm sure you know the right thing to say."
"But what if I don't?" Tora objected. "What if I wrote a wrong sentence? What if I accidentally wrote the wrong thing and end up breaking a boundary?! What if she hates me?!! What if I!..."
Her panic was cut short by a sudden shushing noise by the people around her.
Tora stop talking immediately. She had almost forgotten that they were in the library,while simultaneously failing to notice how loud her voice was getting.
"Sorry," she murmurred apologetically, refusing to meet anyone's eye.
until recently, Tora did not normally spend too much time in the library.
She usually preferred to hang around outdoors, where she could stretch her legs, move around, and breathe in the fresh air.
But increased time spent with her newest school friend, Chika Uesugi, had influenced her somehow. Chika was the type of person who absolutely loved to study, so finding her in the library was not uncommon.
Tora would find herself joining her occasionally, while subconsciously building up a habit to do her homework there whenever possible.
As time went on, her friend Roy had also expressed his desire to do the same, especially after he had grown more comfortable with his friends learning about his living situation.
The alternative was to go Home and be subjected to a seemingly endless number of household chores. Roy would be unable to concentrate on any of his schoolwork, as he would barely get a moment to sit down let alone do them.
He had initially tried to fit them in between chores, and then, when that failed, to do them late into the night once everyone in his foster family had gone to sleep.
Unfortunately, the former had made it impossible for him to concentrate on anything, and the latter had caused him to be so exhausted during classes that it became basicly counter-productive. What was the point of keeping up with his school assignments if he wasn't even clear about the material in the first place?
In the end, Roy had simply decided to stay at school longer, finishing all his homework before going home.
Tora soon found herself the main company of two of her friends during their study sessions.
She hardly minded, she got to be with the people she cared most about after all, and it was not as if they didn't do other things when they weren't in the library.
Even Chika had grudgingly agreed to accompany her for the occasional social activity, and she had even invited Tora to her place a few times.
Tora loved those visits more than she could say. They made her feel as though Chika trusted her, more than she trusted anyone else.
Of course, this wasn't saying too much. Chika hardly talked to any of their classmates, unless it was to berate them for doing something out of line. She barely had any friends, so it wasn't as if Tora had a good frame of reference to compare her different trust levels to.
Still, being invited over to her place several times must mean something, especially from someone who barely even gave anyone else a smile, right?
The thought seem to make Tora's's heart skip a little. It had been no secret from her other friends that she had been crushing on Chika for a year now. It was that crush that had led her to try and befriend her in the first place, and which made her want to spend her time wherever Chika most frequented.
Tora liked to imagine that their time together meant something more than just casual socialising to Chika, but she could never be sure.
She had kept her feelings to herself for months, not daring to say a word even when they were alone, or when they shared deep conversations.
Tora knew that the best way to confess to someone was to simply talk to them about how they felt, but she couldn't bring herself to gather up the courage to do it. Putting everything down on paper seemed much easier.
"I just, want this confession letter to be perfect," she told Roy, once the other occupants of the library had stopped paying her any attention. "It's getting harder and harder to keep it in. I want to tell her how I feel and get it over with, even if it is scary."
Roy put a hand on her arm.
"You know her better than anyone," he soothed. "If anyone knows what to say, it's you. I know it doesn't feel like it, and it's normal to be afraid of rejection. But we'll all be with you in spirit when you give it to her, and you can always come to us if anything goes wrong."
Tora nodded, her hands shaking a little, as she finally slipped the letter into her schoolbag.
"Thanks, Roy," she replied gratefully. "I don't know what I do without you guys."
"I could say the same about you," he smiled. "When do you plan to give it to her?"
"Tomorrow, during lunch," Tora stated. "I want to do it before I lose my nerve."
"We'll all be rooting for you," Roy promised. "Have you told the others when you're gonna do it?"
"Not the exact time of my confession yet," Tora replied. "I wasn't sure if I'd finish my letter this afternoon. I'll send everyone a text in our group chat once we leave the library."
"Wouldn't be long now," Roy shrugged, putting away his study materials. "It's getting quite late, and if I don't get home soon, I have a feeling that mam would have something to say about it."
"You always call you're foster Mom "Mam", as though you're their servant or something," Tora noticed as she stood up, swinging her bag over her shoulders. "Can't we do anything about her using you like that? Like reach out to foster care or..."
"It's not so bad," Roy answered quickly. "Besides, it's already asking a lot for her to let me live in her home. I can't expect her to treat me as part of her family too."
"But your miserable," Tora pointed out as the two of them began walking out of the library.
Roy shook his head.
"Trust me, this is the best deal I'm going to get."
"The foster care system in this country is so messed up, if this has been your best experience with it," Tora muttered, stepping out into the corridor. "Someone really needs to do something about it."
Roy smiled sadly.
"If only it were that easy."
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Chika watched as Tora toyed with the spoon in her hand. She had been swirling it around her bowl of miso soup for the past few minutes, without taking so much as a sip.
Her normally sharp eyes appeared to be out of focus, and she had been unusually quiet.
"You're not gonna drink that?" Chika asked, a hint of concern in her voice.
"What? Oh, of course I am," Tora replied hastily, raising the spoon at last.
"It probably got cold," Chika speculated. She had already finished her bowl of rice and was currently helping herself to dessert.
"No, it's alright," Tora assured her, drinking another spoonful. "It still has its usual salty taste."
"What were you thinking about?" Chika enquired, cocking her head to the side in curiosity.
"Huh?"
"You were quiet for a long time," Chika pointed out.
"Oh, it's nothing," Tora lied. "I just spaced out because I didn't sleep much last night... that's all."
That last part was true. Tora had spent a rather anxious night tossing and turning in bed, her mind focused on the letter tucked away in her schoolbag.
After getting home, she had made some final additions to it and packaged it so that it looked more like a gift, but that had done nothing to make her feel like she had improved the upcoming experience.
Even after she had managed to sink into an uneasy sleep, Tora had woken up several times to find herself feeling completely unrested.
Despite the support of her friends sitting several tables away, she still couldn't shake off the anxiety that she was about to do something wrong.
"Did something happen last night?" Chika asked, the worry in her tone increasing ever so slightly.
"Not really," Tora assured her. "I just had something on my mind. My thoughts can go crazy when it's late sometimes, it's no big deal."
She tried for a smile, and Chika, though not entirely convinced, decided to drop the matter for the time being.
"I get what that's like," the latter confessed. "I've been thinking about a lot of things over the last few months. Recent villain attacks on the school, upcoming finals, some other things...
"Finals? That's nearly a month away," Tora remarked, temporarily distracted from her thoughts.
"I know," Chika acknowledged. "But that's not enough time. What if I can't maintain my last score?"
"If that happens, I know I wouldn't think less of you. You don't always have to be one of the best at everything," Tora assured her.
"But it's more than just the final exams," Chika elaborated. "We're going to get our provisional hero licenses this year too so even outside of academics I have to be ready. The next few weeks and months are gonna be busy. I've got to train, I've got to study, we've got to hang out..."
Tora felt her heart give a little flutter at Chika including their quality time together in her daily schedule. Maybe this confessional letter would work after all... or maybe she was reading too much into things again.
She wished her brain would stop setting up falls expectations.
"I'm sure you'll do great with the provisional hero license exams, as well as finals," Tora reassured her. "You've been working really hard for it. If anything, I'm worried about Takeo... He's had so many idol concerts lately that I don't know how he's going to keep up."
It was best to talk about one of her other friends, Tora thought. It would help conversation flow more naturally, and avoid suspicion. Plus... She had to admit she was stalling.
"His managers are cruel for making him do all that while he's in school," Chika scowled. "There's a reason students only get part-time jobs. He's got a full-time one!"
"I know right?" Tora agreed. "He's got to do concerts on top of hero training and academics... I would crack under the pressure."
"I'd crack under the pressure too," Chika admitted. "And this is coming from someone who spends most of her time studying. The studying isn't the problem. The extra work is."
"You've been finding more and more time to hang out these days though, even if you're still focused on studying," Tora noted.
"Yeah, well, you're a bad influence," Chika joked. "I used to hate it, but maybe you were right that I never allowed myself to just relax."
There it was again, that faintest hoped that the compliment meant something more than it probably did. Tora brushed the feeling aside.
"You never relaxed much growing up?" She asked instead.
"No..." Chika replied thoughtfully. "Well okay, maybe when I was really young. But I don't really remember it. I was always helping my parents out on the farm. You won't believe how many hours it takes to harvest wheat and take care of the animals."
"Sounds like good endurance training," Tora mused.
"It was!" Chika confirmed. "I was always outdoors. "We'd plant things, harvest things, collect eggs, milk the cows... we kept some of the food but we sold most of it to the local market. It's honest work, but it was very physical. I didn't mind though."
"I'm guessing that's where you got your work ethic," Tora laughed.
Chika smiled at her in return.
"I guess so."
She finished her dessert and checked the time.
"We should pack up soon, classes start again in less than 10 minutes."
Tora felt a sudden jolt of alarm. Less than 10 minutes? She had waited too long.
She had to do this now, otherwise she would lose her courage completely.
The Tiger girl turned hastily to fumble with the zipper of her schoolbag, almost knocking over her half empty bowl of soup in the process.
"That reminds me," she began, rummaging through her belongings frantically. "I have something to give you."
after what felt like forever, she pulled out a small envelope in which she had placed her letter. Her heart hammered frantically in her chest, but she ignored it.
It was now or never, Tora was going to throw caution to the wind, or she never would.
Chika looked at the envelope curiously.
"A letter?"
She reached out her hand and slid it from Tora's grasp.
"Uh, just, read it," Tora replied in the form of an explanation, not meeting Chika's gaze. "I'll go put my tray of food back. Let me know what you think."
The former hastily laid her bowls and cutlery on the tray in question and stood up.
You're not gonna finish your soup? Chika asked, surprised. "I thought it still tasted good."
"I'm not very hungry," Tora lied again, before excusing herself
A little confused, Chika glanced down at the envelope in her hands. She dug her fingernails in the groove near the top and was able to pry it open without ruining the paper.
Her eyes widened once she saw what was inside. It contained a folded note, cut into the shape of a heart. The message written inside wasn't very long, but it was enough to make her blush as she began to read it.
It said:
Dear Chika
It's hard for me to put this into words, but I wanted you to know that ever since we've been hanging out, you've made me so happy. The boys are great to be around, but every time we've talked it's always felt like something special.
I love hearing about the goals you have as a hero, and the many things you do at the farm. You've even helped me get over my fear of horses somewhat, by introducing me to your horse, aurora.
Before I met you, I thought you were an amazing person. Now that I've gotten to know you, I *know* that you're an amazing person.
I want to continue spending more time with you, maybe even as more than just a friend. I know this is sudden, and there's no pressure to accept. I just thought it was time to tell you my feelings.
You're a really special person to me, no matter what your answer is.
Thank you for being in my life.
Tora
"Wh-what is this?" Chika gasped, her hands shaking a little as she reread the note. "Tora... what? No way..."
The tiger girl had finished returning her food tray and was approaching the table once more.
"Well?" Tora asked anxiously.
Chika looked up into the taller girls face. Her cheeks were Rosie red.
"What is this?" She asked again, completely flustered.
"I, I wanted to tell you," Tora began.
"I never thought... I never received..." Chika spluttered, refolding the letter in her hand. "Tora, you didn't... all this time?"
She got unsteadily to her feet as well, her legs feeling somewhat like jelly. She didn't know what to say.
"You don't have to make a decision now or anything," Tora added hastily, worried at the intensity of the reaction she was getting.
"No I, I just, give me a... ugh!..."
Chika's heart was racing in her chest now too. What was this? What should she do? She didn't know, too many feelings were happening all at once.
"I..." Chika tried again, her blush intensifying.
It was no good. She couldn't get the words out.
This was too embarrassing, she wasn't reacting the way she wanted to and she knew it. She was ruining this.
Why was she such a mess over it? She was *never* a mess, no matter what happened.
Why couldn't she just say she felt the same way?
"I have to go!" she blurted out suddenly, seizing her school bag.
"What?" Tora exclaimed, a hint of dismay creeping into her voice.
Chika didn't answer. She swung her bag over her shoulders and dashed out of the cafeteria, leaving her lunch tray behind.
"Chika wait!!" Tora called after her, but it was no good. The pink haired girl didn't seem to hear her.
The tiger girl sank dejectedly back down into her seat, and buried her face in her hands. She should've waited, it probably hadn't been a good time... or a good idea to give her that letter.
Now she'd scared her away. What should she do?
Chika definitely hadn't been expecting anything like this. She was probably overwhelmed.
"I screwed this up," Tora thought dejectedly.
A gentle hand on her shoulder made her look up. Ryota was standing right behind her, looking concerned. Roy and Takeo stood with him.
"Hey, we saw her leave the cafeteria," Ryota explained. "Do you wanna talk about it?"
---------------
"That was stupid Chika, stupid!"
The pink haired girl stood outside the school gates, mentally berating herself.
"Why did you run away? You know how you feel so why didn't you just say something to her? You couldn't even look her in the eye all afternoon, you're lucky she doesn't sit directly behind you and there wasn't physical hero training today! Come to think of it, is that why she chose to give the letter now? So we could hang out after school and talk about it? Ugh, I'm such an idiot!"
Chika walked over to a nearby tree and lean against it. One of her hands combed absentmindedly threw her long ponytail, tugging at the strands of her hair a little harder than necessary.
Her other hand wrapped around her chest, as though that could somehow ease the conflicting ache inside of it.
She had liked Tora for a little while now. When they had first started spending time together last November, she had felt indifferent.
But it wasn't long before the latter's kind, enduring nature started to get to her.
Tora never flinched whenever Chika lost her temper, she always looked at her with fondness and understanding. Chika had always passed it off as just the other girl being nice, she would never have guessed that there was something more going on behind those unique eyes.
Tora had always gone out of her way to make Chika feel wanted. None of her other classmates would even look at her, deeming her too boring or uptight to even pay any mind too.
But Tora had taken time out of her day to get to know her. She had smiled at her, study with her, deliberately chosen to separate herself from her usual friend group just to talk to her.
She had even gotten Chika a cake for her birthday last December, because she had taken note of how much the latter enjoyed sweet things.
Chika hadn't thought too deeply about it at first, but over time, it began to grow on her. She began to look forward to their private time together, and couldn't resist looking over in Tora's direction whenever she got the chance. She had even found herself thinking about her while studying or doing homework. It was strangely distracting.
She told herself it was just some weird friendship thing that she had never experienced before, but it began to feel more special than just that the more they hung out.
Despite not being experienced in relationships, Chika was far from clueless. It didn't take her long to realise that she was crushing on Tora, hard.
She wasn't planning to do anything about it though. Surely if she waited it out, these feelings would just go away.
They were still in school after all... there were more important things they should be focusing on. A hang out every now and then was fine, but a full on relationship?
Unfortunately, the longer these feelings persisted, the more Chika felt the pull to confess instead of keeping it all in.
Fleetingly, despite her reservations, she had considered different ways she could make her feelings known... But she had always brushed such thoughts aside.
It looked like Tora had beaten her to it.
"You've been wanting to tell her for so long... Since Valentine's Day," Chika continued mentally. "Now that she's made the first move, why couldn't you just say yes? Now you've gone and messed this up.. She's gonna hate you after this. You broke her heart, it's over."
The thought caused a wave of sorrow to wash over her. She stopped playing with her hair and buried her face in her arms.
"I'm gonna miss her..."
Angry tears threatened to spring from her eyes as she thought this. It was all her fault.
The sound of approaching footsteps stopped her in her tracks however, and she looked up.
"Hey."
She had not expected to see Tora approaching, let alone to find her calling out to her.
Chika hastily dropped her arms to her sides and straightened up, trying to act natural, though her gesture came off as more defensive than anything else.
"Oh Tora!" She greeted, a little too loudly. "I was just, I didn't expect..."
"Are you okay?" Came the concerned reply.
"Me?" Chika asked. "Yeah I'm okay! Of course I'm okay, why wouldn't I be okay?!"
Why did Tora always have to be so nice to her?! She wasn't making this easier...
"I'm sorry I overwhelmed you and made you run away," the tiger girl apologised. "I was talking to my friends about it. I shouldn't have sprung that letter on you out of nowhere. They suggested I come check in on you. I get if you need some space though."
"Run away?" Chika protested. "I didn't run away. It was... a strategic retreat!... and no, you can stay, if you want. I just don't know why you'd want to."
Tora looked down but walked closer.
"Thanks. I really didn't mean to make you feel like you had to do anything differently, or get into something you're not ready for," she continued.
"Why are you apologising? I'm the one who messed this up," Chika refuted. "I couldn't even talk to you properly after reading your letter. I just left. I get if you hate me."
Tora raised her head, a little surprised by the self-deprecating comments.
You have nothing to apologise for, I was the one who sprung this on you, she told her. It makes sense that you got overwhelmed.
"But I never get overwhelmed!" Chika cried. Especially not like this."
"Everyone gets overwhelmed sometimes," Tora assured her gently. "It's completely normal, I'm not mad. I shouldn't have put you on the spot like that. We could've just talked about it like we always do about everything else. I was too much of a scaredy-cat to see that."
"But it's more than just me losing my composure," Chika explained. "I had an answer to your letter and I couldn't just... get myself to say it."
"You don't have to force yourself to give me an answer if you're not ready."
"But I am, or at least, I want to," Chika proclaimed.
Tora's eyes widened, but she decided not to push the matter unless Chika said something first.
The pink haired girl took a deep breath and continued.
"I've been having the same feelings for a while now, but I was just too afraid to say it. If you're a scaredy-cat, then I'm a scaredy chicken because I didn't even have the courage to write a letter. Not only that, but I couldn't even say anything after I read what you wrote. Despite everything I've been feeling for months, I couldn't even say... Yes..."
Chika blushed furiously again, and looked down at her feet. The tears she had been holding back spilled from her eyes, flowing silently down her rosy cheeks.
"You wanted to say... yes?" Tora whispered, an unexpected wave of surprise rushing over her.
Chika nodded.
"I wanted to from the moment I read the letter. But I, I didn't know how to. And now, I've ruined everything. I'm sorry."
Tora took another step forward and placed a hand on Chika's shoulder.
"You didn't ruin anything," she replied, her voice full of emotion. "I thought I did. I thought I scared you away. It already took some courage to say hi to you all those months ago. If it wasn't for my friends encouraging me, I don't think I would've done it. I thought I undid all that we built."
"I thought that *I* undid all that we've built!" Chika seconded.
Tora laughed, fighting back tears of her own.
"I guess we didn't ruin anything for each other after all," she concluded.
"You're really not mad?" Chika clarified, hardly daring to hope.
"No, not even a little," Tora promised. "If anything, I'm kind of relieved."
Chika wiped her tears and looked up at Tora.
"Is it too late to give you my answer?" She asked tentatively.
"Is your answer still the same?"
"It's still a yes... If you still want me..."
Tora ran her free hand tenderly along Chika's hair.
"It's not too late..." she whispered, pulling her new girlfriend into a hug.
Chika hugged her back, allowing a laugh of her own to escape.
"I guess we're giving this relationship thing a shot," she realised.
"I guess so," Tora agreed.
Chika gave her a watery smile.
"I'm all for it."