Chapter Text
Ben drives home really quick today. He still hasn't got a mail from Andrew and there was no mail from Steven as well. He was more than a bit concerned, climbs the stairs up as fast as he could manage. "Andrew??"
Andrew has not gone home though. After leaving his old house he drove up to his fave Irish pub and sits there, sipping one drink after another. He just wants to forget about today, wants to erase the sad face of Stephen from his memories.
The water was cooling him down a bit. Of course he is still concerned and he would call Andrew later, but not now. He might just need some time alone. Or.. More time to talk to Stephen. His stomach does a little flip when he thought about Steven, he still felt sorry for him. But he'd never wants to miss a single thing he shares with Andrew. When he gets out of the shower he reaches for his towel and his phone, trying to get Andrew on he phone.
Andrew stares at his phone when it goes off ringing. Still the BeeGees. Still `stayin´alive´. He had thought it fun once. Sigh a sigh he picks up. "Nyeah? Benny? Ima not hom´. Imma gettin´drunk" he slurrs, lighting up his next cigarette. "Dun wanna cum hom´"
He remains silent on the other side of the phone connection. "Alright.." He doesn't know how to behave now correctly, of course Andrew should be allowed to choose what he wants to do and with whom he does. And they are not in a relationship, at least they hadn't talked about it. So he decides he would just. "I'll be home tonight, if you choose to stay, where ever you are right now, it's fine. Just..you know I'm here and of course I'm still interested in your conversation with Steven. Take care of yourself, will you?" He adds with some concern in his voice
"Ben...." Andrew's voice suddenly sounds a lot more sober but teary. "Can...you pick me up? I n.. I need you. Please?" He adds in a hoarse whisper.
He gets up in one swift move "Of course I can, just tell me where you are." In fact he is relieved that Andrew has decided and will be with Ben again, safe. He decides to drive by car, because it was safer than he bike, especially with a drunken Andrew. He would drive with him someday, but not tonight. He walks into the Irish pub and looks around, searching for Andrew.
Andrew sits curled up in a corner, playing with his phone, deleting all the pics of him and Stephen. His face clearly shows the stains of tears when he looks up to the taller man. "Can we go to the sea and watch the sunset?" he asks, sounding exhausted.
Ben touches his face lightly, whips a tear away with his finger. He doesn't answer but pull Andrew up and into his arms, stroking his back. "We'll do that later. For now let's just go home, okay?" He presses a kiss on his forehead, still aware of the other people in the bar. They need to watch out, now, hat they are still not a couple to most of the people. He takes Andrews hand in his and pulls him to the car, still noone watching them. Ben breathes in when they reentered the flat. Home. Finally.
"I dun wanna go hum...." Andrew groans, rubbing his hair until it stands up. "I wanna go to the sea. I wanna see the sunset...." he pouts like a little child, hugging his chest. "Please, Benny." He stays silent, watching the street while Ben drives them home to their flat. When Ben opens his door he stays inside though. "Sea!" he just says sulking.
After a moment he gets out though, following Ben inside.
He closes the door behind them and watches Andrew. He walks over to the living room, his gait unsteady and of course he was still pouting over the sunset-thingy. He follows Andrew with some space between them, waiting for him to sit down before he asks him. "Would you care to tell me.. How your conversation with Stephen has been?"
"Yesh I woul ´ care..." Andrew sighs. "He cried, I cried, lots of crying...but I tol´ him I luff you mor´ than him..." He slips out of his shoes and pulls his legs up onto the couch, hugging them. "Why can´t we go to the sea?"
Ben joins him on the couch, he doesn't know if Andrew was after body contact right now, but he would offer it to him. He ghosts a hand over Andrews arm "I love you, Andrew. And won't stop telling you how much."
Andrew leans into him. "I knoooow... but you don´t luff me enough to let me see the sea...." He curls up into Benedict´s arms. "I did love him once, you know...I still do but ...not like you."
Ben touches his face lightly, whips a tear away with his finger. He doesn't answer but pull Andrew up and into his arms, stroking his back.
He was happy to have Andrew in his arms again and he enjoys the feeling of his smaller body against his. He roams a hand over Andrews arms who are still cold from the chilly night air. "Soon, my love, I promise." He kisses his neck lightly. "You must be tired after that overwhelming talk and the alcohol. Do you want to sleep?"
As if on command Andrew yawns, his eyes fluttering shut. "I´m not tired. I wanna go there now. I always went when I was sad....I have no go. Please Ben...please.." Tears dwell up in his eyes again.
Ben kisses the corner of Andrews eyes and roams a hand over his chest "I promise I'll take you there, but it's not tonight, it would take too much time. And you.." He nudges Andrews nose "Are far too drunk. Let's go to sleep, okay?"
Andrew sighs and nods slowly, buring his face into Ben´s chest. "Can I sleep in your arms?" he whispers. "Please? I ..hurt him so much"
"I'm sure that he understands you. And you're a good-hearted person, Andrew, I'm sure you've chosen the right words to tell him." He turns Andrew and kisses him properly, laying all his love in that kiss. He wants to comfort him, keep the nightmares from his bed, make him happy, love him until the end. He smiles into the kiss, that was the lovestruck speaking out of him. But he knew, even if the first moments would pass by he would love Andrew with his whole heart and mind. He pulls him closer and strokes his back. "Sleep, love" he murmurs in his ears "I'm here."
It doesn´t take long for Andrew to fall asleep. His dreams though are filled with nightmares and not just once that night he wakes up, panting, screaming, only to fall back asleep in Ben´s arms, being soothes, hushed and calmed by him. The next morning he feels worn out and exhausted, coughing and totally sick. With a groan he turns around in the bed once more. "Can we stay in bed today? please?"
It's been a hard night for the both of them, After the 5th awakening or so Andrew starts to talk in his sleep and it makes him feel sorry for the other, screaming, begging, whimpering. Now that the day has dawned he felt dizzy and not at all in the mood to stand up. "Of course we can stay in bed, but not the whole day... Morning though" he kisses Andrews lips and hugs him closer again. "Do you need something?"
Andrew kisses him back and snuggled up more against him, feeling safe in Ben's arms, his tall frame against him. "Nothing. Just you. And maybe an advil..." He looks up and strokes Ben's cheek. "I'm sorry for keeping you awake all night."
"Oh there is nothing to feel sorry about" He stands up to fetch Andrew an advil and something to drink. He returns with a glass of water and the pill just to see Andrew's asleep again. He shifts behind him, carefully, the glass of water and the pill seated on the nightshed. He runs a hand through Andrews hair and caresses his neck, smiling when Andrew reacts on the touch. He bows down to blow a kiss to his lips, then his eyes flutter shut and he drifts to sleep as well
~~ "Wait...don't go. Please...don't.... Stephen..." They were on the roof of a building...the Bart´s...it was windy,...Andrew looked around to see if there was someone else but him and Steven. Benedict was there staring into the sky but not moving. Steven was on the edge, about to jump. Andrew tried to get closer, but something hold him back. When he turned he saw Ben holding him back. Steven was about to jump any second. He was crying. Telling Andrew it was his fault. He turned and... Suddenly it was him falling. Andrew saw Steven and Ben on the roof while he fell, heading for the hard ground.~~ With a cry and shaking muscles Andrew sits up on the bed. Panting hard.
Ben awakes when the first cry left Andrews mouth and he moves to embrace him properly, remembering the experiences in the last night he knew Andrew was about to wake up soon. It was midday already and they are still in the bed, sleeping. When he hears Andrews sobbed cry he hugs him close again and touches his cheek slightly "Shhhh.. You're dreaming, love." He sits up and takes Andrew with him, handing him the glass of water. "Drink something, it'll help."
"He wanted to jump...like you did....but instead I fell...i died..." Andrew stutters various parts from his dream, clinging to Ben's frame. He is shivering all over,
He knows that kind of dreams just to well, after his break-up with Olivia he had nightmares, too. But he hasn't have anyone by his side back then, despite his friends, but noone by his side, exactly. He is glad that he could be here with Andrew, helping him through it. Standing up he offers Andrew a hand "Going to have a shower, will you join me there?"
Andrew nods slowly. "Sorry." He smiles and runs a hand through his hair. "Shower sounds brilliant." He undresses on the way there, slipping into the cabin.