Chapter Text
The Senate had been called into session for a tie breaker. Fuck. Kamala would be present. Of course she would. Six months had passed since she had ended things for Douglas’ sake. Six months of strategic navigation around the senate chambers to avoid running into her. It would be fine.
I have Alex now. Sweet, kind, reliable Alexandria. Alex was everything Kamala wasn’t. She was proudly herself no matter the cost, loved loudly and had her heart on her sleeve. No hiding for optics or keeping me hidden. Alex was my lifeboat after nearly drowning with Kamala. I kept repeating these words, maybe I’d actually believe them. Stepping into the chambers I keep my head down and make my way to my seat, maybe this would go by fast. Not with Kamala speaking, that woman could rant for hours about a pebble. I thought to myself, laughing silently. 10 minutes went by and she walked in promptly. Her heels clicked loudly and she gave a general wave before locking eyes with me briefly and motioning for everyone to sit. I watched like I always did. Her hair seemed to have more highlights than last time. Her crisp plum suit fit her perfectly. She was exactly how I remembered her yet somehow different. A ghost of MY Kamala. As I predicted she went on and on about democracy and how it was our duty to fight for these bills as hard as we are right now. I scoff silently at the word fight. That coward couldn’t even fight for us. Now she’s lecturing the entirety of the senate on fighting? She must have sensed my frustration and looked up, those doe brown eyes looked worried and I looked away.
The faster this was done the faster I could get home to someone who actually chose me. She set the tie breaking vote in favor and the senate was officially out of session. I didn’t seek her out, I didn’t wait like a lost puppy like I used to. I ran out. I wanted the comfort of my girlfriend. Alex was waiting by the closed off area where senators discuss the session, some senators stayed close in hopes of being able to talk to the Vice President. Alex walks up to me with the smile she reserves for me and pulls me in close. I lean into her touch and she pulls me back for a brief kiss. I meet her and our heads touch. “I missed you.” She means it, Alex always says what’s in her heart. “I missed you too.” It’s only half a lie, I missed the comfort she usually is able to give me. From the glimpse of my eye I see the secret service begin to clear a path. Fuuuuck. I know what follows that path. Alex seems to pick up on it too and perks up. She doesn’t know what Kamala was to me. No one does. I pull Alex close in hopes she wants to leave before Kamala walks by us. She takes it as an invitation to pull in closer and squeezes my side. I take a deep breath, on the outside it seems like I’m nervous to see the Vice President and it isn’t too far off.
I don’t want to be close to her again. Smell her perfume, feel her touch. Kamala walks on by and spots Alex first then her line of sight reaches me and the arm around me.
Alex steps out from our embrace and approaches Kamala. “Madam Vice President, what an honor to run into you here.” I can tell Kamala is still processing seeing us together. “Congresswoman! It is a surprise to see you here too seeing this is a senate hearing.” Her voice is clipped and laced with jealousy. The audacity. Alex doesn’t know her like I do and believes this is playful banter. “I’m aware, madam. I’m just here supporting my partner, Senator Collins.” Kamala’s eyes brows raise slightly and her jaw sets. She finally looks towards me and I see a storm behind those eyes I would spend hours staring into. “Oh? I wasn’t aware. Congratulations Senator Collins. You two make a cute couple.” Alex continues her conversation but Kamala keeps her eyes on me. I hold her gaze but I can’t play this game with her.
She left ME. She clears her throat, “Senator Collins, could I have a word with you? Privately?” There’s a desperation in her voice I haven’t heard in months.
“Madam Vice President, it was lovely to see you but my girlfriend and I have plans. Have a good rest of your day.” I don’t wait for her to respond, I grab Alex’s hand and walk towards the exit. Alex looks confused for a second but follows.
We have dinner at our favorite spot. It's a cute Italian bistro we found on our 3rd date. The right amount of comfort and cozy with the wine selection being pretty reasonable. Alex talks on and on about her day and how fun it was to run into Kamala. I respond where I need to, nod when I have to and play my part in the supporting partner role but my mind is elsewhere. I keep replaying Kamala’s look she gave me when she asked to speak alone.
As I lay in bed staring at the ceiling I can’t help but reminisce the nights I spent like this with Kamala tucked to my side instead of Alex. I must have summoned her with my thoughts because she leans up on her elbows and stares down at me. “Mmm baby go to bed, your thoughts are so loud.” I look up at her, those dark warm orbs and I can’t help where my brain goes. I see a glimpse of Kamala. Many times she would tell me the same. Alex reaches down and kisses me softly and tenderly. I can’t help but think of Kamala’s firm lips on mine. Alex tucks her head on my chest and begins tracing patterns on my upper arm. Kamala did the same. I try to forget her touch. It’s impossible.
Alex begins peppering soft kisses across my chest and my mind goes to Kamala. She was never this soft. Everything with her was always intense. She moves lower and lifts my tank top, discarding it like it offended her. Alex is always so caring, every touch, nip carries the weight of her devotion. She stares directly at me as she removes my underwear and shorts all in one. I cradle her jaw and she moves my hand. Her path of kisses leading to my thighs as she runs her perfectly sculpted nose through my slit. Her face glistened with my arousal. I close my eyes and tug at her hair as she works me through my orgasm.
The mind is a cruel cruel organ. Alex is on her stomach quite literally pleasuring me and all I can think of is Kamala and how she would do this. She’d pin my lower half down, leave bites everywhere to show possession. I cum with Kamala’s name in a silent prayer hoping Alex didn’t hear. Alex reaches my face and she kisses me slowly, deeply, full of love. I move to return the favor, feeling guilty for thinking of another woman during sex. She rasps out, “Not tonight baby, this was for you. Try to sleep?”
All I can do is nod. I lay on her chest waiting for her breathing to even out. When it eventually does I don’t sleep yet. I sit there and think. I’m trying to fall for her touch.
I’m trying to move on.
I thought I was past her.
I realize now I’m just passing time in her arms.
Hoping I catch a glimpse of us.