Archive of Our Own

Kageyama Tobio can't catch a fucking break.

It's bad enough that he got benched halfway through the fourth set of the opening match earlier today against the Black Jackals because of a strained calf.

Honestly, Tobio thought to himself, it's not even that bad.

The team's physio himself had officially classified it as a mere Grade 1 strain. Mild, he'd said to Tobio. But the recovery period was anywhere between one to three weeks, which consequently meant the chances of him not being able to play on next week's back-to-back games are regrettably high.

He'd just have to diligently focus his attention at the mean time on icing his damn leg and dedicating more effort on his isometric training.

Then his night got worse.

Because of course—of fucking course—the very same restaurant that the Adlers decided to dine at after their first awful game of the season happens to be the same izakaya that the Jackals chose as well. Tobio doesn't believe in fate or soulmates or any of that crap, but he thinks he's being purposely and deliberately subjected to seeing and hearing the team-claimed-victors hoot raucously in celebration two tables down from his own.

It's pleasant from where he sits—Hoshiumi to his right happily chittering away like he normally does albeit in a slightly strained smile. Tobio knows the spiker was internally beating himself up for the serve he'd messed up at game point, but he'll get over it swiftly. He's mainly talking to Hirugami who sits across the white-haired boy, but with how often his large eyes flit to Tobio, he knows Hoshiumi is doing his best to include him in the conversation.

Tobio appreciates the effort. Especially when he'd first joined the team years ago, it had taken him a while to slowly open up and connect with his teammates. Hoshiumi had been the one to take matters into his hands, thus turning Tobio into their beloved setter who'd grown attached to all his senpai like a baby duckling.

Romero and Sokolov are sitting on the other end of the table, sipping their non-alcoholic beers imported from outside of the country. They're not as stumped by the loss as Tobio feels he is inside, judging by the natural expressions they carry as the two listen in on their libero Heiwajima launch into an anecdote to Coach Suzaku.

Tobio frowns at his half-eaten yakisoba, his appetite slowly leaving him as he lets out a small puff of breath. He really should finish his food to gain his strength back, he'll need it to recover fast after all. But the longer he sits there, the more he's forced to listen to the rowdy, boisterous laughter that echoes from the Jackals' table.

Eyes sharply cutting to the direction of where he can hear Bokuto's larger-than-life voice, his gaze falls upon a sight that is most certainly unwelcome in this god-awful evening. And just like that—Tobio's night has gone from bad to worse to something colossally, exceedingly, downright foul.

The frown already present on his face stretches into a scowl he knows there's no fucking way he can even bother hiding or lying about.

There, two tables away, sits Hinata Shouyou—orange hair still slightly damp from his shower and curling softly at the ends, eyes gleaming a burnished gold that's staring up into his teammate's, and lips glossy from the oil of the karaage he'd been munching on. Smiling at Bokuto's antics and laughing when Sakusa Kiyoomi roughly tugs the boy back down to his seat, head thrown back as he giggles unabashedly with his throat exposed.

It's not Hinata that makes Tobio's mood sour like curdled milk.

No, it's the thick, muscled arm that somehow finds its way across Hinata's shoulders. Draping heavily over him with a hand that curls almost possessively into his jacket sleeve. And with every second that passes, the offending arm gently tugs Hinata closer and closer into their warmth, tucking the boy into his side.

Tobio wonders if Miya Atsumu can feel the glower sent his way across the restaurant.

And it all makes the anger inside of him fester until he's completely lost his appetite, the remnants of the yakisoba's taste now resembling ash on his tongue. Tobio swallows it down with a gulp of water, not meaning to set his glass back down on the table harder than he should've.

But he doesn't care right now. Not at the umpteenth furtive glance Hoshiumi sends him or at the thick eyebrow Ushijima arches at him.

All he can mull over in his hurt-adled thoughts is the easy way Hinata Shouyou allows Miya Atsumu into his space like he's always belonged there. (Like it was never meant for Tobio despite every single moment he'd spent by Hinata's side.)

How dare Hinata sit there in the same room as Tobio, with a smile as bright as the sun while he allows the stupidly bleached-blond headed setter that Tobio has loathed since their high school days wrap an arm around him like Hinata belonged to him? How dare he shuffle his seat closer, letting his shoulder brush against Atsumu's chest like his touch is what grounds Hinata into this earth? And how dare he angle his head in a manner that makes Atsumu's lips brush the shell of his ear when he leans in to whisper something that makes Hinata bite down on his lip with a faint blush that scatters so prettily across his cheeks and over his nose in a way that Tobio knows perfectly well how?

It sends a sharp stab to his gut as Tobio sits there, stiff in every one of his muscles while he's forced to suffer through the growing ache beneath his ribs every single time Hinata and Atsumu lock eyes with a shared shy chuckle. It makes Tobio want to hit something or maybe cry, he doesn't know.

An ugly emotion he refuses to name spirals deep in his belly the longer Tobio stares at the two. It doesn't fly past him when Hinata turns to say something to Sakusa, and Atsumu's lazy grin softens as his downturned eyes stay fixated on the tangerine-haired boy's profile. That alone is enough to make Tobio feel physically ill.

Atsumu doesn't know Hinata's features the way he does.

He couldn't have.

Not when Tobio has spent countless nights the last couple of years laying next to Hinata, holding him as he sleeps with one hand cradling his head to Tobio's chest. The slope of his nose, the flutter of his lashes when he dreams, the bow of his lips when his mouth falls agape—Tobio knows them all. He has them tucked away deep in the crevice of his heart and every groove of his ribs like breathing in Hinata Shouyou is all he's ever known.

He knows every freckle splattered across his cheeks, he's spent hours tracing them with the tip of his finger like constellations only he can see. He knows how Hinata's hair never lays flat, except only when he comes out fresh from the shower or in the early mornings when he'd wake up and roll over to cuddle into Tobio's warmth. He knows what Hinata looks like in the darkest hours of the night, when sleep has trouble finding them both, and his golden eyes turn half-lidded and his mouth a sinful curl.

Atsumu doesn't look away from the most beautiful person in the room. His gaze somehow seems to melt the longer he watches Hinata grin at the rest of their teammates, his blinks turning languid as Hinata's laughs bounce off the walls of the izakaya.

Tobio can hear the very sound in the recesses of his memories like they were just yesterday.

He hears the unrestrained explosion of joy tumbling from Hinata's lips from two winters ago. Hinata had wanted to go to the temple to pray despite Tobio's protests on the arctic freeze happening on the same day—Tobio had shown up anyways bundled in four layers of jackets, mummified in the most audacious scarf known to mankind, and a beanie pulled low over the bangs brushing past his eyes.

(He'd damn near froze to death that day, but he silently thought it was worth it. Hinata had clung to him all morning, laughing his ass off at first and then cooing endlessly how he can't believe Tobio had actually worn the stupid neon orange scarf he'd knitted for him.)

Tobio hears the shy giggles Hinata used to grace him with back in their third year in Karasuno. Shared popsicles that melted over their fingers, heads that bumped as they hovered over a textbook they were pretending to read in the library, eyes that instantly met across the court with a silent understanding on how they wanted to deliver their offensive play.

Late afternoons that Tobio spent walking Hinata back to his house after school, trying not to be obvious in how slow his pace was just to spend a little more time in the day with him; summers filled with the scent of sunscreen and daybreak where Hinata would drag a grumbling Tobio to the beach with their seniors Tanaka and Nishinoya for rounds of volleyball; and chilly January nights in Tokyo for the nationals where he and Hinata would stand side by side in front of their hotel, sharing a nikuman that warmed their numb fingers.

("The stars aren't as clear out here in Tokyo, Kageyama," Hinata would hum thoughtfully. Fog would curl past his lips with a small sigh, his back slumped against the wall behind them.

Tobio wasn't looking at the sky. He never really looked at it when there was something else worth watching. "Hm," he'd merely mutter under his breath, quietly nibbling off a tiny piece of bread before giving the rest to Hinata.

Hinata had softly chuckled at the lackluster response he'd grown used to. "Are you even listening, Kageyama?"

God, Tobio adored the way he'd say his name. Sweet, a tad whiney, and wholly melodic. Like each syllable mattered. No matter how it was his surname and not even his given name. It never failed to make Tobio's insides all mushy like it was nobody's business.

Hinata finally turned sideways to meet Tobio's dark eyes, and the latter would honestly reply: "No."

And he'd watch, all pleased and smugly satisfied, when Hinata's face would turn pink. He'd mumble to himself how Tobio was such a secret sap, but shyly get on his tiptoes to press his lips gently on the underside of the setter's jaw.

Tobio loved it when Hinata did that. Because he'd always immediately demand Hinata kiss him properly afterwards.)

"Kageyama."

Tobio lurches back into the present—the stars wink out, the pressure of Hinata's mouth against his is a phantom touch, and his hands roughly molding over Hinata's waist is just a stark reminder of what he'd lost.

The izakaya returns to flood his vision—warm lights that hang low to create a warm, velvety ambience and slurred laughter from dozens of patrons that collides against the angry red that dulls his senses. He blinks at the source of the voice that called his name, their cadence a rumbling grunt that's befitting the man himself.

Ushijima's single raised brow has progressed to a deep furrow, a crease forming between that Tobio has seen more often than not. The former Shiratorizawa ace has never been wildly vocal on his thoughts and opinions on matters that didn't involve him, but after living with Tobio and several others of his team in the Adlers' sharehouse, he's learned to silently study their micro-expressions.

It's a lot of work for someone like Ushijima. And although he doesn't have it down quite yet in the same way that Tobio can read people on the court, he's trying his best to be a good friend.

Tobio swallows the lump in his throat, the glare on his face simmering to a grimace as he forces himself to look away from the pair. He blinks once more at Ushijima and says: "Yes?" He keeps his tone polite, his face guarded, nothing betraying the distaste sitting heavily on his tongue.

Ushijima knows him better than this, and he looks unimpressed. "Are you alright?" he asks bluntly.

"Yes, it doesn't even hurt anymore, really."

"You and I both know I'm not talking about your calf."

Tobio makes a face at that, dark blue eyes sliding past Ushijima before he can stop himself. They settle on Hinata and Atsumu again. "I'm fine," he mumbles.

He is not fine.

Not when he just watched the piss-blond setter take a sip from the same cup Hinata's using and sharing the same spoon of miso soup. Tobio feels his stomach plunge to his feet at the implication of such small gesture—he feels worse when none of the other Jackals look their way twice.

Like this is a regular occurrence—Atsumu and Hinata sharing glassware and cutlery.

Hinata cranes his head up to Atsumu who immediately leans over, bringing his ear level to Hinata who murmurs something that makes the other nod. Tobio watches as Hinata rises from the table, skirting around his captain Meian Shuugo and making his way to the restrooms. Atsumu's eyes follow him the whole way, body relaxed in his seat with one arm still casually draped over the back of Hinata's chair.

He can feel Hoshiumi swing his gaze instantly to him, those freakishly owl-like eyes wide and piercing on him. "Kageyama—" he starts in a mildly warning tone.

But Tobio's already on his feet, chair scraping lightly underneath him. He's vaguely aware of half of his teammates' probing glances now directed at him as he mumbles: "Bathroom. Be right back."

Heiwajima perks up slightly, setting down his chopsticks. "Lemme give you a hand—"

"There's no need, the pain is gone," Tobio swiftly intervenes, already walking away from the table. He pretends not to see the narrowing of Suzaku's eyes at him. To Tobio's credit—he really is moving rather stable with only a barely noticeable limp. He parts from the Adlers' table before any other of his teammates could insist on their help.

He holds his breath when he strides past the Black Jackals, accidentally making eye contact with Sakusa Kiyoomi whose seat is facing opposite to Atsumu and Hinata. His mask is nowhere in sight, the only times Tobio sees it off the boy is during mealtimes and when he's out on the court. Something flickers across Sakusa's typically unreadable expression, brow slightly furrowing as he stares at Tobio.

He doesn't approve of Tobio. Not since he'd found out about him and Hinata a few years ago.

(Tobio's mouth was hot against Hinata's skin, lips pressing a trail of fiery, messy kisses along his jaw. His hands wandered down to Hinata's strong thighs, gripping them tight so Tobio could hook them higher around his hips. He could never get enough of this—not of the needy little whine Hinata makes when Tobio rocks himself against him, not of the addictive way Hinata's golden eyes roll back into his head the harder Tobio sucks a mark on his neck, and not of the mindless babbles that tumble out of Hinata's kiss-swollen lips as he keens for more, Tobio, please, I need more.

"What's up with your teammate?" Tobio grunted in the middle of it all, suddenly remembering the harsh set of the curly-haired man's jaw when he'd caught sight of Hinata getting into Tobio's car earlier.

Hinata was clawing down his back, half-lidded eyes glazed over without actually focusing on Tobio. "Huh?" he asked in confusion, a gasp following immediately when Tobio palmed his arousal over his sweatpants. Hinata's groan was music to his ears, coaxing Tobio to dig the heel of his palm a little harder—just enough to feel him twitch under his touch. "F-Fuck—"

Tobio nipped the sensitive skin under Hinata's ear before pulling back to watch his face contort in pleasure. A sense of pride surged throughout him at the knowledge of his lover crumbling into shambles just from his touch alone. "Look at you," he cooed with a mean chuckle. "I barely even touched you, baby."

Hinata whined, lashes fluttering against his cheeks as his hips buck upwards to chase after the friction. "Tobio—" he panted his name, nails sinking deeper into the setter's bare shoulders and making him hiss. "Please," he begged. "Just touch me, I-I can't—"

He's already painfully hard, the fabric of his sweatpants clinging onto the shape of his cock. And the rougher he grinded up against Tobio's palm, the damper his pants got from how much he's already leaking.

Tobio's lips curled at the flush rising higher over Hinata's cheeks, adoration seeping into his bloodstream as he kissed him deeply, tongue sliding in to taste the sugary cocktail Hinata had earlier that night. "So does he have a problem with me or something?" his voice was a low rasp, lips brushing against Hinata's with every word.

"What?" Hinata asked dumbly, already forgetting what Tobio had said only a moment ago. His head fell back against the pillows in anticipation when Tobio finally hooked his fingers around the waistband of his pants and tugged downwards. "Who are you talking about?"

"Sakusa-san," Tobio answered, shifting his weight above Hinata so his arms were holding him up from crushing the latter. He resisted the urge to flick his eyes down to where Hinata now laid completely bare and beautiful, legs spread and cock an angry red with precum leaking down the length. "Why'd he look all pissy at me when I said I can take you back to the hotel? I didn't drink anything, so I don't imagine he'd be angry about that."

A small moment of clarity hit Hinata as understanding smoothened his features. "Oh," he mumbled, biting down on his lip as he glanced away from Tobio. "Kiyoomi-san…,"Hinata hesitated as he avoided the pair of navy eyes that narrowed at him. "He kinda sorta knows about us."

Tobio blinked for a second, mind blanking out on him. Then he opened his mouth—

"Don't get mad at me," Hinata blurted out, daring to meet his gaze again, his golden eyes wide and still slightly glossy with desire.

A sigh tumbled out of Tobio before he leaned in to kiss him on the lips. Hinata melted into his touch immediately, body gravitating to Tobio whose hand rested on his inner thigh. "Not mad at you," he murmured against Hinata's mouth, peppering open-mouthed kisses down his jaw. "Just don't want anyone else having an opinion about us," he admitted in a rough voice.

Tobio glided his hand up, closer to where he can feel the heat radiate off Hinata's body. He can hear the way Hinata's breath caught in his throat, a strangled sound barely leaving him.

"He doesn't have one," Hinata said in an assuring voice, despite him sounding as though he was trying to convince himself. "I only said I was with you that one night I didn't go back to the Jackals' sharehouse a couple of weeks ago. I didn't tell him anything."

The corner of his mouth twitched. It wasn't that Tobio was trying to keep him and Hinata a secret, he could honestly care less what anybody had to say about them. He just didn't want Hinata himself making the wrong assumptions about the two of them, about what they were.

What they had right now was good—great, even. So why would Tobio want a perfect thing to go about any other way?

He grunted, "Good. Because there's nothing to tell." Tobio's mouth made its descent down Hinata's chest, carving his hands under Hinata's knees to spread his legs wider for him to slot into.

Tobio didn't notice the way Hinata slightly stiffened at his words. He didn't see the way Hinata's brows furrowed the slightest bit, doubt fogging over his eyes as his lips parted to say something—only for a guttural moan to leave him when Tobio's mouth took him inch by inch until he hit the back of his throat.

They never spoke about Sakusa again after that night.)

Tobio waits for Hinata just outside the men's bathroom door. Tucked away in the corner, he's mildly relieved to be hidden from sight of both his and Hinata's teammates. Especially from the two loudmouths Hoshiumi and Bokuto. The former is aware of them, much to Tobio's dismay (the white-haired spiker had caught Tobio coming home in the middle of the night wearing Hinata's Black Jackals zip-up by accident and had immediately pulled him into Ushijima's room, waking the sleeping man up just so Hoshiumi could interrogate Tobio), and the latter is thankfully clueless of it all, but Tobio knows how Bokuto is.

The door swings open as Hinata takes all of two steps out before his eyes find Tobio's right away. His entire body tenses, something flickering across his features before a strained sigh leaves him. Almost like he's expecting this.

Tobio straightens immediately, every muscle and every nerve in his body loosening. It's been so many years since he's first met Hinata in middle school and then slowly warming up to him in high school—and yet each time his blue eyes fall on him, the sight of Hinata's big brown eyes and pouty mouth still makes Tobio feel like he can breathe again.

As though Hinata is the only person who can ground Tobio back to this earth. Who can make his heart race a hundred beats per minute and soothe the ache that blooms behind his ribs at the same time.

It's only ever been Hinata who could tame the King of the Court.

"Shouyou," Tobio exhales his name like a prayer without meaning to, the sound almost a little too loud in their hidden corner of the noisy izakaya.

Tobio watches the expression on Hinata's face—watches as a dozen different emotions flicker through before he settles for a carefully guarded mask. Hinata takes a deep breath through his nose, shoulders rising with the action as he warily eyes Tobio. "Hey, Kageyama," he says after a beat, throat working when he swallows hard.

A small scoff of a chuckle leaves him. "Is that what I am to you now? Kageyama?" he repeats, ignoring the pang in his chest.

"Tobio," Hinata concedes, and even though there's a sort of exasperation in his voice, Tobio still loves the way his name sounds coming from Hinata's lips. He eyes Tobio's leg, specifically the calf that he'd strained hours ago. "Should you be walking around right now?"

"I'm fine, it doesn't hurt at all."

Hinata gives him a look. He's always known when the other is lying. "That's not what it looked like earlier on the court." He takes a hesitant step forward, untucking his hands from his track pants. "Here—let me help you back to your table—"

"Come home with me," the words tumble out of Tobio before he can stop them. The same words that have always found their way to Hinata after every match they play against each other, after every encounter that had their eyes lingering on the other far too long, after every fight, every hotel booking coincidence, every silent glance—it always comes back to this.

Tobio closes the gap between them, fighting back the wince from showing when pain shoots up his leg. His hands find Hinata's fingers curling around his—they're much smaller than Tobio's, the tips of his fingers more calloused and his palm a little rougher. He's always loved the way Hinata feels against his skin—every touch never failing to coax out a sigh, a soft breath, a shuddered groan from Tobio who yearns for more.

Hinata inhales sharply the second Tobio threads their fingers together, his eyes fluttering shut like it pains him more than anything. "Tobio—" he starts.

"Please," Tobio mumbles, soft enough for Hinata to hear the ache he carries in his lungs for him. He leans in as he draws Hinata closer, pressing his forehead against him so their warmth collides. "Come home with me."

He shifts an inch nearer, brushing his nose against the pink-tinged cheek of Hinata, and he swears the ground tilts underneath his feet the second he does. Hinata still keeps his eyes squeezed shut, but he leans into his touch—nuzzling against Tobio like he can't bear to be apart for too long.

"I can't," Hinata murmurs after a stuttered exhale. His golden gaze meets Tobio's when he reluctantly pulls back, a crease between his brows as he studies the latter's face.

"Why not?" Tobio demands, unable to conceal the petulant tone in his voice.

He hesitates for only a second before slowly saying, "I promised Atsumu I'd go to his apartment tonight to watch a movie with him and his brother."

Atsumu.

Hinata had said his name casually like it meant something to him.

Tobio's face shifts, mouth tightening like something bitter sits on his tongue. He lets go of Hinata's hands, his own falling to his sides in fists. "What the hell are you doing watching a movie late at night with Miya?" he spits, not even bothering to hide the bite in his tone. "Are you two dating now?"

He doesn't dignify Tobio with a response. And that makes bile crawl up the setter's throat as his stomach churns unpleasantly, unwelcomed thoughts of Atsumu and Hinata together crossing his mind.

"Did that happen while you were with me?" Tobio's voice drops into a growl, a scowl taking place on his lips as he cards his fingers angrily through his hair.

His head becomes a dangerous place—Hinata leaving Tobio's place to run off to Atsumu, Hinata stealing secret kisses with Atsumu in their locker room before letting Tobio drive him home, Hinata inviting Atsumu under his sheets after Tobio slips out of his hotel room.

Every breath he takes turns ragged as his hands tremble with effort not to crash out.

Fuck Atsumu and his piss-colored hair.

An aggravated sound echoes as Hinata's frown deepens at Tobio. "I knew this would happen," he mutters more to himself than to Tobio. "This is exactly why we agreed to go no-contact."

Tobio's nostrils flare in memory of that conversation. "I never wanted to do that. I only said yes because that was what you wanted."

"Because you always let your head get to you, Kageyama," Hinata stresses with another weary noise from the back of his throat like he's grown sick of him. "With you, it's never straightforward. I'm never sure of where I stand with you."

"Next to me, with me, by my side—you know I only ever want you—"

Hinata laughs, cold and bitter. "Do I? Because all I remember in the six fucking years we've been together-not-together is the amount of guessing games I had to play. I never know when it's going to be one last night with you or when you've finally had enough of this cat-and-mouse thing you like to torment yourself with."

Rage and guilt and desperation clash against Tobio in a maelstrom of emotions. His lips curl indignantly when he snaps, "Don't act like you're innocent in here. You were the one who told me you didn't want this—" he gestures between the two of them with a finger, "—to become a relationship because you wanted to go to Brazil."

Hinata sends him an incredulous look, mouth hanging agape. "Brazil was five years ago. And I came back to you. The first person I saw, the first place I went to the second I landed in Japan was you, Kageyama."

"You never said anything to me," Tobio hisses through gritted teeth. "If you wanted us to be more than what we were, why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Because you always made it perfectly fucking clear to me that you don't want anything more," Hinata's voice raises just slightly enough to drive his point home. His eyes are wide, glossy under the dim yellow lights as his fingers twitch on his side to resist rubbing them raw. "You're too scared to commit, Kageyama, and it wouldn't have mattered if I had tried. You walk away when things get serious because you're a coward who can't handle a real relationship."

"You're right, I don't want a relationship. I can't—" Tobio drags a breath in his lungs, shaky against his will, "I can't be in a relationship, and I've told you that—"

The venom doesn't leave Hinata's voice when he smoothly cuts in: "And that right there is the difference between you and Atsumu."

The name seeps through Tobio's bones like rain—the truth in his words leaving him reeling in shock as though he'd just been punched in the jaw. Tobio stumbles a step back without even realizing, his vision turning unfocused for a moment as he searches Hinata's face. He can hear his own pulse thudding to a violent, rhythmless beat in his ears—the akin sense of being blindsided surging in him.

"What?" Tobio says quietly. Hurt swelling in his chest at the comparison.

Hinata doesn't look at him, eyes focused aimlessly to the side. The lights make his features look darker than usual, a shadow casting over him. His jaw clenches when he admits, "Atsumu likes me. He's clear with his affections and he doesn't make me doubt myself—doubt what we could be."

A pause.

"He makes me feel secure in the idea of us."

That alone stabs Tobio deep in the gut, the knife Hinata wields twisting for good measure. And for a moment—just a small moment, jealousy blinds Tobio and overcomes the pain ebbing in him. "But that's not what you want," Tobio seethes in a voice that rumbles from his chest.

Hinata's eyes flicker to meet his instantly, a warning in those golden hues to stop. But Tobio doesn't.

"That's never been you, Shouyou." Tobio takes a step forward again, not to seek his warmth but to prove his point. "You've always liked the thrill I brought. The fight, the competition, the rivalry. It's what pushes you to do better—to become the person you are today."

He swallows hard, the sound audible in the small distance between them. "Don't—"

"Does Atsumu even know what makes you burn?" Tobio scoffs, face turning to a cocky sneer. "Does he even know what being mean does to you?" He deliberately grazes his eyes down Hinata's figure, lingering on the lower half of his body. His voice lowers to a rasp, "Does he know how to turn you on the way I do? How to fuck you the way I have you begging for me to please let you cum because everything feels too much?"

Hinata inhales sharply, his entire body stiffening as he finds himself unable to look away from Tobio. His eyes are dark in this hidden corner of the izakaya, but they grow even darker at the filthy words that leave him.

One more step and Tobio's in his space—he can feel Hinata's body heat through his clothes. He takes him by the chin, thumb and index finger gripping him with a gentleness that knocks his breath from him. Tobio tilts his head back, enough to ensure Hinata is looking only at him.

"You and I both know Miya is nothing compared to me," Tobio croons, swiping his thumb across Hinata's bottom lip. "A poor imitation of the only person who knows you wholly—completely."

Tobio doesn't know what he's hoping for. That Hinata would just drop everything and jump into his arms? That he'd tell him Miya Atsumu means nothing to him and that he'd always come running back to Tobio?

Whatever it is, he doesn't expect a sigh to leave Hinata instead. Eyes fluttering shut as he slowly pulls his face away from Tobio's touch. His shoulders drop an inch, the fight leaving his body as a weary sort of defeat takes over. "Stop it, Kageyama," he whispers.

"I bet if I touched you right now, I'd find you hard already. Aching for me, like always." Tobio laughs cruelly. "Can Miya turn you into a whimpering mess like I can? I highly doubt that."

Hinata fully wrenches himself away from Tobio, turning to pace the short corridor as he rakes a hand messily across his orange hair. It looks dull right now, like a sunflower that had wilted. "You have no right to be jealous," he breathes out, shaking his head. "None at all."

Tobio stands still at the sound of Hinata's voice—wrecked and heavy with hurt.

He spins around to meet Tobio's gaze again—eyes rimmed red with angry unshed tears pooling in them. "I'm so sick of this dance, Kageyama," his voice cracks at the last syllables of Tobio's name.

It seizes Tobio's breath, stirring a maelstrom of intense emotions he doesn't want to name.

"You hold me in your arms one night, and then you're gone in the morning. You come crawling back to me again in the next month and tell me you can't live without me, and then you pretend we never happened the next day."

Another strangled sound leaves Hinata, laced in an exhausted sort of agony that has him shutting his eyes for a moment to regain his composure. Tobio doesn't say anything—but he can hear every fluttering pulse that thuds too loud in his ears.

"I'm so tired of this," Hinata whispers, raising a hand up to furiously rub the back of his palm over his eyes. It comes back wet, and Tobio feels a crack in his chest when he realizes he's crying. "I can't do this anymore."

Tobio stills at that, feeling physically ill as he quietly says, "What do you want me to say, Hinata? What do you want from me?" His palms are unbearably clammy, fingers trembling with every effort he makes to bring feeling back into them.

Hinata's eyes fly open, this time with a rage of desperation as he surges forward. His hands come up to Tobio's forearms as he grips onto him like a lifeline. "I want you to tell me the truth," he exhales, every breath fanning Tobio's face from how close they are to each other. He can see every freckle, every quiver of Hinata's lip, every furrowed twitch of his brows. "Tell me you want me, you want this—you want us."

Tobio pales at the demand. The compromise Hinata is asking for is too much for him to accept—the images of his grandfather, his old team in Kitagawa Daiichi, Oikawa Tooru, Kindaichi Yuutarou, Miwa…

Panic rises in his throat, his vision blurring for a heartbeat as his mouth dries to sandpaper.

He can't.

Tobio can't give him what he want. He can't risk losing himself to that again. He'd rather lose Hinata like this than suffer the same fate as he had with the others.

Hinata's hands slide to cup Tobio's face, fingers warm on his cheeks. His golden eyes search his features like he could find the answers there. In a more tender and intimate voice, Hinata gently says, "Tell me you'll take me home and make love to me the way we should've done the very first time."

Tobio's tongue feels too heavy in his mouth, the unspoken words weighing it down—everything he could ever want to say to Hinata. All the things he wishes he could tell him. The dreams, the future, the world Tobio knows Hinata deserves.

He swallows them all down.

Taking Hinata's hands in his own and curling his fingers around them, Tobio carefully take them from his face. "I can't," his voice is too quiet, "because I don't love you."

The sharp stabbing pain that blooms like spiderwebs across his chest is nothing compared to what he feels upon seeing Hinata flinch like his words had physically hurt him. He recoils away from Tobio, taking his hands from his hold.

And because Tobio is a liar and a coward, he lurches forward to him. "No, wait—" he blurts out in panic, desperately reaching for the other boy. "I'm sorry, I didn't—no, I don't mean that. You know I don't," he's stammering in trepidation, the idea of Hinata truly severing ties with him too much to bear. "Please—Shouyou. I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Tobio tugs him into his arms, wrapping Hinata in an embrace that feels too much like a pathetic attempt at comfort. His breaths come out too fast and too sharp, his lashes won't stop fluttering wildly as he tightens his hold on the boy.

Hinata smells like that bar of soap the locker rooms have in the showers, the same citrusy kind that Tobio uses after each game. The intimate scent of ginger and salonpas hits his nostrils—everything that purely encompasses Hinata Shouyou.

It's a familiarity that hurts Tobio, because even though Hinata's warmth and smell always makes him feel like coming home, all he can think of now is the litany of Hinata's surrender.

I can't do this anymore. I'm so tired of this.

"Please forgive me," Tobio's voice is small as he dips his head low so his mouth brushes the shell of Hinata's ear. "I don't want to fight with you anymore. I'm sorry, Shouyou. I'm so sorry for saying that. Just—please come home with me tonight, baby. Let me—" he swallows, trying not to turn this into a full blown panic attack. "Let me take care of you tonight. Just don't leave me."

Hinata doesn't hug him back, but Tobio can feel him exhale deeply. He turns boneless in Tobio's arms, allowing the other to hold him up. "I don't want to fight with you either," his words are muffled, Hinata's lips buried in Tobio's neck. "I'm so tired, Tobio."

"I know, I know," Tobio mumbles back in shushing croons, one hand sliding up to curve around the back of Hinata's neck. "I know, baby. Just for tonight, let me take care of you. Please. I won't—" he exhales shakily through gritted teeth, "I won't ask for anything else. I won't hurt you any more than I already have." Tobio draws him into his chest, feeling Hinata's face wet against his neck. "Just one more night. Please, Shouyou—I need you."

Hinata is quiet for a beat.

Then Tobio feels him snake his hands up between them, fingers curling to grip the lapels of his Adlers' jacket tight. And Tobio knows Hinata's answer before he even says anything. He feels him take a deep breath, like he's bracing himself to respond when—

"Shou-kun?"

Every nerve of Tobio burns aflame, hackles raised and shoulders tensed. The undeniable surge of bitter jealousy expands like a supernova from within his stomach, swallowing his chest and then his limbs and his head whole. It takes effort for Tobio to untangle himself from Hinata who is first to step away from him—putting enough distance so he can look at the man standing behind Tobio. But he's still close enough that it brings pause to an observant eye.

Hinata's smile is strained as he looks at his teammate, but his one hand still stays curled around Tobio's jacket. Possessive in a way that has Tobio resisting the urge to smugly grin at the other setter.

"Atsumu," Hinata says. "What are you doing here?"

There's a pause that follows as Tobio finally shuffles his feet to turn and face Atsumu, purposely angling his shoulder to brush against Hinata's. He keeps his face neutral as he meets Atsumu's gaze—the latter stone-faced with his mouth pressed to a thin line, droopy brown eyes flickering back and forth between the two of them like he knows something he wishes he didn't.

"Ya were gone for a long time," Atsumu murmurs, directing his focus on Hinata. He smiles at him, soft despite the fact that Hinata's fingers are still buried in Tobio's jacket. "Is everythin' okay, Shou-kun?"

Tobio wants to scoff at the dumb nickname, but he bites his tongue.

"Yes. Tobio was just—" Hinata stumbles over his words before reining himself with a deep inhale, his whole body following with the action. Then in a firmer voice, he says, "Tobio was just offering to take me back to the hotel. I said I could drive his car for him to not make his injury worse."

Tobio blinks, his brain slowly registering each word that just left Hinata.

Atsumu's smile tightens a fraction. "What about movie night?" his voice is quiter than it was.

"I know, I'm sorry," Hinata says with a frown. "Tell Osamu-san I'm sorry. We can do movie night another time, yeah?"

The blond clearly does not want to do movie night another time nor is he fond of the idea of Tobio escorting Hinata back to his hotel. He can see Atsumu warring within himself, jaw working and eyebrows twitching. Until finally—

A small sigh of defeat. "Okay," Atsumu concedes with a smile that bordered more on hurt than acceptance. "I'll see ya tomorrow then?"

Hinata's shoulders slacken an inch as he nods. "Yeah, of course. We have to all leave together at six anyways to return to Osaka." Without warning, he shoves his nimble fingers inside Tobio's jacket pocket to fish for his keys. His head tips back enough to meet Tobio's eyes that burn a dark blue. "I'll bring the car up front, meet you outside," he murmurs low enough for only Tobio to hear.

All Tobio could do is bop his head once for a nod—and then Hinata's gone from both setters' sights.

It's awkward for the first ten seconds of Tobio shifting his stance uncomfortably under Atsumu's filthy glare sent his way, mouth twisting into a scowl. He coughs once, a hand coming up to rub the back of his neck.

Yeah, fuck that. I'm outta here.

"Excuse me," he mumbles unceremoniously as he hobbles past Atsumu, only for the latter's hand to shoot out and grip Tobio by the crook of his elbow. He freezes instantly, a sharp sound coming from him as his eyes cut to Atsumu. "Let go of me."

Atsumu doesn't tighten his grip to a painful squeeze, but it's enough to make his point unmistakably clear. His eyes are as hard as steel, leaving no room for doubt or hesitation as he seethes through his teeth, "You hurt Shouyou again and I'll break yer fuckin' nose. Do ya hear me, Kageyama?"

They're long past the years of when they'd been friendly and amicable to each other. Back when they'd first met at the All-Japan Youth Training Camp when Tobio had been a first year, he'd admired the older Miya twin for his prowess in serves and setting. He'd felt the same respect he'd held for Oikawa the longer he watched him play.

That was until the Spring High National Tournament.

("Shouyou-kun," called out a deep, lilting voice that had Tobio tensing immediately. Hinata had been walking to him, shoulders dropped low with exhaustion and eyes glazed over—only to stumble to a stop at the sound of his name.

"Yes?" Hinata politely said, turning away from Tobio so he can properly address the blond on the other side of the net.

Tobio should've known back then that the way Atsumu was already looking at Hinata felt different. He was watching Hinata like he was already making a promise. Lips curled, eyes glittering the longer they stare at Hinata, and features that just seem to soften with what Tobio had thought back then was respect. He'd denied it being affection, not when it was a face he knew all too well on his own whenever his gaze lingered on Hinata.

And then Atsumu raised a hand—deliberately like he was staking a claim. Leaving no room for uncertainty on his actions. He pointed a finger directly at Hinata as he said, "I'm gonna be setting to you one day."

Tobio had felt it immediately. The swirling storm in his stomach and the ache that bloomed beneath his ribs. He didn't put a name on the emotion, not when he'd felt it coming hot and heavy in his chest. Not when he knew how utterly dangerous of a situation this now put him in.

That's not possible, Tobio arrogantly thought to himself as he glared at Atsumu's finger like it greatly offended him. That would never be possible. Because his sets have always belonged to Hinata.

The second Tobio steps foot on the court, his entire being belonged to Hinata. And there was no room for someone like Miya Atsumu.

Oh, how utterly mistaken he was.)

"Get your fucking hand off me, Miya," Tobio growls under his breath, shoving the other boy off before he could let his jealousy get the best of him. All day, he's held in every loss—the game, having to see the winning team's celebration two tables down, Hinata spiking every single one of Atsumu's sets, Hinata throwing his arms around Atsumu when they won, Hinata letting himself be thrown in the air, Hinata sidling close by Atsumu's side with his arm around his shoulders.

Hinata, Hinata, Hinata.

He consumes his every waking thought to the point where it hurts—and Tobio will be damned if he was going to let someone else (especially Miya Atsumu) tell him what to do.

Tobio doesn't dignify Atsumu with another glance as he stalks out of the corner where the bathrooms are. He strides past the Black Jackals' table, ignoring Sakusa Kiyoomi's eyes that follow him like a hawk. He only stops for a second at his table to tell Ushijima where he was going, and then politely bow to Coach Suzaku before stepping out of the izakaya.

The cool, brisk air hits him all at once. It floods his nostrils, offering some form of reprieve as Tobio feels the week's worth of exhaustion weigh down on his shoulders. He exhales raggedly, fog curling up before him. The weather is getting colder these days—he wonders if Hinata has been bundling up properly before he goes on his morning runs.

He hears the familiar honk of his car, the modest sedan pulling up on the side next to him with Hinata behind the wheel. His car is fairly old, yet he's kept it clean throughout the years with frequent trips to the car wash and all the necessary maintenance and repairs done promptly. Despite the hefty paycheck the Adlers give him, Tobio can't bear to part with this car.

Not when it holds so much memories of him and Hinata together.

Slurping smoothies by the cliff as they watched the shooting stars away from the city; Tobio driving to the beach with the windows down as music blasts and Hinata sings at the top of his lungs with his head sticking out; sitting in the parking lot with their heads huddled close to share a melting cup of sundae in the middle of a hot summer afternoon; and nights where Tobio has the car parked somewhere dark and obscure so he can trail his hands up and down Hinata's thighs that bracket his own, mouths hot and fervent against one another as he drags him against his aching length, murmuring filthy praises in the heat of the moment on how well Hinata's taking his cock and how fucking hot he looks riding him.

Those were the nights that have Tobio staring at the passenger seat that still has the recline and leg room set to Hinata's preference. He'd never touched it nor did he allow anyone he's ever given a ride to adjust it.

Tobio shakes all those thoughts out of his head and yanks the car door open, tossing his gym bag at the back and sliding into the seat next to Hinata. His knees brush the glove compartment at an awkward angle, but he doesn't slide the chair back. He shuts the door and clicks the seatbelt across his chest.

Hinata's face is unreadable. Features pinched right under the yellow streetlights that make his orange hair glow a little brighter. He just silently takes his foot off the brake and puts the car in drive as he steps on the gas.

Tobio murmurs, "Do you want to come to the Adlers' sharehouse tonight?"

At first, he does not say anything. He turns the wheel when the light shows green, and then he says, "You've always preferred when we spend the night together in one of our hotel rooms though, right?"

Tobio frowns. "Well…yes, but—"

"Then I'll take us to my hotel."

He doesn't put up a fight. Not when Hinata's tone is too steady right now. Like he's already finalized this. Like he's made up his mind before Tobio could even ponder on it.

Like he's sick and tired of everything.

Tobio stays quiet the rest of the car ride.

It was raining the first time Kageyama Tobio kissed Hinata.

He didn't expect the rain—not when it was the middle of summer and the sun was shining high up in the sky. He'd just gotten out of a too-long tutoring session in the library with a second year girl who'd been extremely patient with him. Which was, admittedly, embarrassing to Tobio since he was a third year and could still barely comprehend his own academics.

He'd strolled out of the library, the sun barely even showing signs of setting, and thought about how restless he'd felt all day since there was no practice with the team the last two days. There was some construction work going on, so Yamaguchi had declared practice postponed for now. "Get some rest," he'd told them with a stern voice, playing the role as Captain.

Tobio had been deep in his thoughts on whether he should stop by the vending machine before leaving the school or if he should grab a nikuman from Sakanoshita Market on the way home when a blur of orange whizzed across his vision.

The next thing he knew, Tobio was stumbling backwards in surprise at the sudden shock, foot slipping under him. And then strong hands gripped him by the collar of his uniform and tugged.

Tobio could barely understand what the hell just happened in the span of three seconds, suddenly finding himself blinking down at the owl-like gaze of Hinata Shouyou whose face was lit up brighter than any blazing sun he's ever seen. His small hands were holding Tobio by the collar, calloused fingers brushing his skin beneath it, as he kept him balanced on his feet from falling on his ass.

His mouth slowly parted to hang agape—why the hell was Hinata's face so close to him? Every fleck in his golden eyes, every dotted freckle, every eyelash that swept across his cheek when he blinked, every soft inhale and exhale that left him—Tobio saw everything.

And then Hinata's grin grew even larger if that was possible, eyes curving into the most beautiful pair of crescent moons Tobio has ever seen. "Kageyama," Hinata crooned in a voice that sounded way sweeter than it should've to Tobio's ears. "You're such a scaredy cat!"

Slowly, heat crept up his neck and his ears, before Tobio felt his entire face burn hot at the proximity of them. He instantly shoved Hinata away before he could think of it, stammering out a weak: "Hinata boke!"

Hinata's laugh rang throughout the courtyard as he flounced after Tobio across the school grounds, heading to the exit. "You should've seen your face!" he was chirping behind him, skipping to catch up so his shoulder grazed Tobio's bicep with every step they took.

Tobio didn't dare look at Hinata. Not when his stupid heart was pounding louder with every beat and his face was still warm to the touch. But he knew that Hinata was smiling up at him with his damn fringe that had grown a few inches too long, making Tobio want to card his fingers through them and brush it out of his face. Hinata's too pretty for his hair to just cover his features.

"Shut up, you idiot," Tobio resorted to deflecting like he always does.

Hinata pouted. "But Kageyama!" he whined his name, drawing out each individual syllable like he knew it would stir something inside of Tobio.

Ka-ge-ya-ma.

Each one carrying a secret that only Tobio can unravel between them.

He peered down at Hinata who stayed glued to his side as they stepped out of the school gates. Their arms brushed with every sway of them, fingers catching one another's from how close he was to Tobio. He knew if he bent closer just an inch, he would be able to smell that citrus and ginger scent that always seemed to follow Hinata.

Tobio cleared his throat. "Where's your bike? Don't you always take it home?"

"Yeah, but—" Hinata shrugged, the smile never once faltering from his face. He glanced up to meet Tobio's eyes, sunlight catching in his hair and turning his eyes into liquid gold. "I wanted to walk home with you today."

His throat closed in on him, words failing him as all eighteen-year-old Kageyama Tobio could think of was how beautiful Hinata looked at the moment.

And then the rain poured. Falling down on them in thick sheets, hammering against the pavement in clattering noise as the clouds turned grey above them. Thunder rumbled cinematically, their uniform clung to them miserably, and the sound of the rain drowned out everything.

But still, Hinata Shouyou stood before Tobio like sunshine incarnate. Smiling at the suddenness of the summer rain as he tipped his head back to laugh, the curve of his throat exposed.

He was yellow amidst the blues and greys.

And something about Hinata made Tobio burn inside with an aching sort of longing.

"Come on, Kageyama!" he was shouting through the pouring rain, puddle splashing with every running step he took.

Tobio's legs moved before his mind could register what was happening. He ran next to Hinata, mouth curling into a wild grin without constraint as he shared a look with him. "Too slow, boke!" he barked amidst the noise.

And then he reached over and took Hinata's hand in his. Strong, firm, and indisputably certain like weaving their fingers together and pressing his palm against Hinata's was what he'd been wanting to do for years.

Tobio tugged him along under the thundering storm, not once letting go even as they splashed through puddles and crossed the streets to get to the closest shade. They made it to the awning of the nearest konbini, Tobio immediately bringing himself to a skidding stop before he could slam into the glass. Hinata was less graceful, shoulder slamming into Tobio's chest as the latter steadied him carefully.

They're so close like this—Tobio's hands around Hinata's upper arms to stabilize him, Hinata with his fingers curled around the fabric of Tobio's wet uniform blouse. He could see the way Hinata's eyes glittered with unbridled mirth when he laughed loud and unabashed, not even the rain could damper his mood at the moment.

Tobio's panting. Every breath that left him was hard with effort. Not because of exertion from running down the streets, but because Hinata Shouyou took every ounce of oxygen from his lungs. Stole it like every exhale of his belonged to Hinata without him even knowing it.

Tobio did.

He knew he was Hinata's since that very first day they played against each other in middle school. He knew he belonged to Hinata from that very first freak quick they did that had sent a burst of adrenaline down his veins and an unexplainable hunger inside of Tobio that had him craving for that feeling again and again and again until Hinata Shouyou rewrote the chemistry in his brain and imprinted himself onto the grooves of his heart.

He knew every piece of him belonged to Hinata when every time Hinata smiled at him, laughed with him, shyly reached a hand over to touch him made him feel more alive than anything ever did in this world, and the ache bloomed even more until it spread along every corner of his body.

So Tobio did the only thing that made sense.

He curled a hand around the back of Hinata's neck and leaned in to kiss him.

There was nothing perfect about the kiss. It was hot and messy and wet. Their mouths melded against one another, teeth clashing hard enough to sing, and their noses bumped along the way. Hands reached and grabbed whatever the other could hold onto—Tobio's slid up to cradle the back of Hinata's head while both of Hinata's dragged up across Tobio's chest and shoulders before looping around his neck.

Hinata tasted like rain and lemon. His tongue still held the lingering flavor of that sour candy he loved to pop in his mouth to keep him awake in classes. Tobio hated the way lemon tasted, but he couldn't get enough of it from Hinata's mouth.

He kissed him with everything he had, pouring his heart and soul into that one single kiss like he could get Hinata to feel the crevice of his lungs through his lips. He tilted his head, angling their mouths to a deeper kiss so Tobio can slide his tongue further past to explore Hinata's.

A small, strangled sound left the back of Hinata's throat. A moan or maybe a groan—but it was enough to weaken Tobio's knees and bring him back down to earth.

He pulled back, just enough so their mouths still grazed when he breathed. Hinata's eyes were half-lidded, watching Tobio through lashes that fluttered with every languid blink. He moved his hand from Hinata's neck, cupping his face instead with long fingers that splayed delicately over his cheek.

"Oh," Hinata whispered into the space between them, lips brushing as he did.

Tobio couldn't help but to let out a breathy chuckle, parroting him, "Oh?"

Hinata's fingers tightened on the short hairs at the ends of Tobio's nape, his kiss-swollen lips spread into a grin. "I was wondering when you were finally gonna kiss me, Bakageyama."

He snorted. "Call me that again and you might just regret it."

"Is that a threat?" he simpered, grin turning sly.

Tobio rested his forehead against Hinata's, eyes dark from dilated pupils. "It's a promise."

And because it's Hinata, he crooned in that sweet, lilting voice of his that breaks through every single defense Tobio's put up all his life: "Kageyama."

"Kageyama."

Tobio jolts awake, knee banging against the glove compartment as he winces at the sharp pain it brings. He blinks the sleep away, rubbing the heel of his palm against his eyes. He doesn't even realize he'd fallen asleep sometime after the ten minute mark, the exhaustion of today's game taking a toll on him.

"We're here," Hinata tells him, turning the engine off.

Tobio looks out the window to see that he'd pulled into the hotel parking lot, Hinata already exiting the car. Tobio follows after, taking the keys from Hinata and slipping them in his pocket. The strain on his calf whines with every step he takes inside the hotel, quietly tailing Hinata who leads the way to the elevator and down the hallways to his room.

There are words climbing up his throat, yet they don't leave Tobio. They never do. The same ones that sit on his tongue, begging him to say to Hinata for the last five years since he's come back from Brazil.

But Tobio has always let fear override his heart.

No matter how many times he'll end up crawling after Hinata, he can never find it in him to tell him the truth.

"It's just me in here," Hinata's voice is too loud after the long period of silence. He taps his keycard against the door, pushing it open and holding it for Tobio.

The light flicks on as Tobio shuts the door carefully behind him, and the room is small enough for just one person. The futon is pushed to the corner near the window, and the sheets are pristine with the corners tucked in with military precision. The only thing in here that Tobio recognizes that belongs to Hinata is a charger he'd left by the wall socket and his backpack strewn over the dining table.

For a moment, Tobio doesn't move. He just stands there by the threshold, back pressed to the door as he watches Hinata remove his shoes and leave them by the entryway. He takes all of three steps forward before Tobio calls out to him in a soft voice, "Shouyou."

Hinata freezes.

"Come here."

He turns to Tobio, shadows partially covering his face from the dim lights. He looks tired when he gets close enough for Tobio to feel the warmth through their fabrics. When Tobio slides an arm slowly around his waist and draws him even closer, the hard lines on his face finally smoothens. Lashes fluttering when he lowers his eyes, Hinata looks the way Tobio has grown so familiar of.

Hinata lets out a long sigh, his own fingers playing with the ends of Tobio's jacket as he mumbles, "You can't keep doing this to me."

"I know, I'm sorry," Tobio murmurs, something in his voice seeming too raw and earnest. He pushes his palm against Hinata's back, bringing him flushed against him as he uses both hands to grip him by the hips. "You still mad at me?"

"I guess not," Hinata sasses with a small huff, lips pursing into a pout that tugs on Tobio's heartstrings.

So fucking cute even when he's not trying.

"Yeah?" Tobio coos, voice lowering to a rasp as he tilts his head. "Give me a kiss then if you really aren't upset with me anymore."

Hinata peers up at him through his lashes, his stare heated enough to twist the insides of Tobio who patiently waits. Slowly, Hinata climbs on his tiptoes, hands finding purchase on Tobio's shoulders as he gingerly presses his lips against Tobio's in a sweet peck.

Tobio nearly sighs at the relief it brings him. He wants to groan low from the back of his throat when he finds Hinata's lips are so utterly familiar despite it being so short and chaste. His fingers dig a little deeper into Hinata's side, thumb brushing over the curve of his hip.

"Kiss me again," he demands, voice dropping to a rough cadence.

Hinata obliges him. Lips catching his in another kiss, hotly pressing for a few seconds longer this time. A small sound leaves Hinata, his eyes fluttering shut when he feels the pressure of Tobio's mouth increase to a needy one.

He pulls back all too soon, dropping back to stand with his feet fully planted to the hardwood floors. For a tense second, neither of them say anything—all that could be heard is the sound of their breaths, harsh and heavy with desire and pent-up tension.

Tobio's done waiting. "Kiss me properly," he says breathlessly—

And he's certain he moved in the same time Hinata bridges the gap between them, mouths colliding in a frenzy of teeth and tongue as their hands roam over the other. Hinata moans when Tobio's hands roughly glide down his ass, gripping him by his under thighs to lift him. His legs immediately wrap around Tobio's waist, fingers digging into his black hair as he sinks his teeth indignantly into Tobio's bottom lip.

"Fuck," Tobio groans, pulling back slightly for air. He can taste the coppery tang of blood on his tongue, but it only serves to make his cock twitch. He hastily shoves his shoes off, holding Hinata up in his arms as the latter trails a line of wet kisses along his jaw.

"You piss me off, y'know that?" Hinata grumbles into his ear, tapering off into a groan when Tobio walks them to the futon and unceremoniously tosses him to the mattress. He's panting, watching Tobio through half-lidded eyes as the setter swiftly pulls his jacket and shirt off his head.

Hinata's eyes graze along his naked upper body, broad shoulders and firm pecs. And he can't help himself from sliding a hand down to splay his fingers across Tobio's hard-earned abs, the tense muscles shifting with every inhale and exhale. Eyes roving down, Hinata pauses at the smatter of black hair that starts right below Tobio's navel and thickens down to disappear behind the waistband of his pants.

Tobio's mouth is on him again, tongue bullying past his lips so he can taste that lemon-flavored candy Hinata's so fond of. He groans when it floods his mouth, eyes rolling back as he lets his hands wander over Hinata. "Take this off," Tobio grunts against his lips, tugging on the jacket Hinata's wearing. "Wanna see you."

The jacket comes off first, and then his shirt. And Tobio's gratuitously blessed with sun-kissed skin and hard lines of Hinata's arms and chest and torso. He sinks even lower down the futon, lips attaching to Hinata's collarbone to suck a sweet little mark on him.

Mine, Tobio thinks to himself when Hinata throws his head back to fall into the sheets with a pretty moan.

Mine, Tobio thinks when Hinata grips his hair by the back of his head, guiding his mouth lower down his lithe body.

Mine, Tobio thinks when Hinata whines so fucking needily for him when his tongue dips into his navel just teasingly, and then continue his descent past the trail of golden-orange hair down to where he needs Tobio most.

You're mine, Tobio tells himself with finality when his fingers hook around the waistbands of Hinata's track pants and briefs and pull them off with a tenderness that has Hinata's breath catching in his throat.

"Tobio," he whispers in anticipation when Tobio sits back on the heels of his feet, still kneeling between Hinata's thighs that have fallen apart for him. "Please."

"I know, baby, I know," Tobio coos, eyes still drinking in every inch of Hinata's rock-hard length that sits flushed against his lower stomach. The dark flared head is already leaking, precum sliding down his shaft that twitches with every delayed second that he remains untouched. "Just—let me look at you for a second."

Hinata whimpers from where he lays fully exposed, pupils blown wide and face completely wrecked.

Tobio's hands finally glide up along his thighs, causing a broken moan to leave Hinata. "You're so pretty, Shouyou," he tells him, an ache behind his words that he's not ready to face. "So so pretty—and you're all mine."

Before Hinata could say anything to that, a loud, wretched moan tears out of his lips when Tobio's mouth takes him by the head. His lips are hot and wet as they close in on his weeping cock, tongue sliding over the pearly slick that continues to drip uncontrollably.

"O-Oh, my God—!" Hinata groans, hands immediately flying to grip Tobio by his hair, hips bucking up instinctively.

A grunt leaves Tobio as he throws an arm heavy across Hinata's hips, holding him down to keep him from moving. "Stay still for me."

He takes him even further down his length, inch by inch in a way that has Hinata damn near sobbing. There's spit and drool leaking down the sides of his cock, the wet sounds so utterly obscene in the dimness of the room as Tobio groans gutturally at the musky taste of Hinata. And when his nose finally brushes the soft orange curls on the base, that's when Tobio starts to move.

"Fuck!" Hinata pants, eyes rolling back as one hand shoots out to the sheets, fisting it as he squirms helplessly under Tobio's iron-heavy arm over his hips. "You feel so—hah—so fucking—!" he's babbling incoherently, all thoughts flying out of his head as Tobio sucks his dick like he's been starving for him.

Tobio's head bobs to a rhythm, cheeks hollowing everytime he sinks down his length. He can feel Hinata's thick cock pulsing on his tongue, spit and precum serving as lube to only make the glide slicker and obscenely louder. He takes him all the way down his throat, making sure to keep his eyes on Hinata the whole time—cataloguing every sound he makes, filing away every expression his face contorts into out of pure, wanton pleasure.

He pulls Hinata's cock out with a wet, filthy pop, the head an angry red as it throbs at the lack of his mouth on him. Hinata lets out a pathetic little cry, eyes glazed over as he watches Tobio wrap a hand around him by the base.

"D-Don't tease, Tobio," Hinata warns in a breathy voice, gasping when Tobio grips him firmly. Those long, perfect setter fingers of his holding him with precision.

Tobio rasps out a chuckle, lips glossy with Hinata's slick and the entire bottom half of his face drenched from sucking him like it's what he's born to do. "Tell me what you want, Shouyou." He starts to move up and down in slow strokes, twisting his wrist every time he gets to the base, and swiping his thumb over the beading slit of his tip when he gets to the head.

Hinata moans, face twisted in debauched pleasure. "Yes, yes," he praises in keening whines that has Tobio grinding his arousal against the mattress. "Just like that—f-fuck, Tobio, just like that."

"Such pretty fucking noises," Tobio groans in approval, stroking him harder as he brings his other hand up to Hinata's mouth. "Come on, baby. Nice and wet for me."

Lips instantly parting open, Hinata takes two of Tobio's thickest fingers and swirls his tongue around the digits. He coats them in his spit, gagging when Tobio shoves them further down to his throat.

He slips them out of Hinata's mouth, a bit of drool dripping down the side of his lips that Tobio leans over to lick off. Hinata whimpers when he does so, turning slightly so he can kiss Tobio and taste himself on him. He doesn't stop stroking Hinata's flushed cock, the tip weeping profusely as more of his precum dribbles down the shaft and over Tobio's knuckles.

Hinata spreads his thighs wider apart for him, inhaling sharply when he feels a finger breach his entrance. A groan leaves him, the sound bouncing off the walls as Tobio's lips brush the shell of his ear. "Relax for me, baby. I got you."

He obeys, his hole loosening just enough for Tobio to push a finger inside, slick with Hinata's spit. Tears spring to the corners of his lover's eyes, and Tobio pauses right away. But moans fall repeatedly out of Hinata's lips, chanting Tobio's name like a prayer as he nods. "Keep going, Tobio, please—"

He leans forward to kiss Hinata, swallowing his litany of praises as he pushes his finger all the way knuckle-deep. His other hand slows down its strokes, feeling Hinata pulse hot and heavy in his grip as it makes Tobio rut desperately against the futon. He's so painfully hard, it makes him slide his finger in and out of Hinata's tight asshole.

"Feel good, baby?" Tobio rasps against his lips. "Tell me," he practically begs. "I want to know how you feel. I want to hear you, baby."

Tobio knows how Hinata feels right. Of course he does—he's spent years upon years studying every inch of Hinata's body. He knows what to do to make him feel good, how to make him sing his name reverently, how to play him like a violin so moans echo the room and he falls apart in bliss.

But he wants to hear Hinata say it anyways.

He needs to hear it.

"Yes, yes, yes," Hinata chants, a tear sliding down his cheek as Tobio's tongue laps it up. "Another one—I can take another one."

Tobio gives him what he asks for, adding a second finger to stretch him out. He hisses at how tight Hinata's clenching him, and then slowly scissors his fingers when he slips out to the first knuckle. "Easy, sweetheart," he murmurs directly into his ear, never once stopping or slowing down his ministrations. "If I can't get you all loose and wet for me, I won't fit."

Hinata's whimpering, hips bucking as he grinds down on Tobio's fingers. "Yes, I can," he insists. "Harder, Tobio."

He exhales out a chuckle, wrecked and affectionate altogether. He fucks his fingers harder into Hinata, the prettiest noises leaving his mouth as Tobio whispers the filthiest words into his ear. A third finger joins, the stretch so delicious that Hinata's cock twitches violently in Tobio's grip.

"I'm so close," Hinata gasps, back arching off the bed as he chases that high only Tobio could ever bring. "Don't stop, don't stop—fuck—r-right there—!" he groans when Tobio curls three fingers into him, brushing his prostate as he does so. A cry leaves Hinata when Tobio repeatedly hits that spot, white blurring out his vision as the coil snaps in his stomach.

His orgasm hits him hard, rattling him down to his bones as he cums without any warning. Spurts of milky white splatters all over his stomach, reaching up to his chest, some even getting on Tobio's torso. He's clamping down tightly on his fingers, enough that it makes Tobio groan as he imagines his cock replacing them soon enough.

Tobio's leaking through his own boxers and pants, a wet stain seeping into the sheets that he's aggressively grinding down against for some form of relief. He pants when he pulls back to look at Hinata's fucked out state, eyes glossy with tears turning his lashes into stars. He kisses him with a gentleness that matches his fingers that gingerly slide out of his ass, hole clenching over the absence of him.

"You okay?" he mumbles.

Hinata's nodding, chest rising and falling to catch his breath. "Fuck me now."

Tobio laughs. "You're so greedy."

He scowls up at him, except his swollen lips and flushed cheeks make it look like a pout.

"You're insatiable," Tobio preens, giving him one more kiss before he finally tugs his pants and underwear down and kicks them off to the side. His cock springs free, painfully hard and fully erect, to slap against his navel—the head a little darker than Hinata's and the shaft a little longer with a curve.

He can feel Hinata's hungry gaze on him immediately, and before he could even open his mouth, Hinata is pointing vaguely to the direction of his backpack. "Side zipper," is all he says.

Tobio walks over to rummage through the compartment, slipping out a small bottle of lube halfway empty and a condom that he swiftly uses his teeth to rip open. "You come prepared for me to fuck you?" He can't help but to tease with a lascivious little smirk.

Hinata shoots him a glare, face burning a bright red. "Shut up."

"You're so cute when you get angry," Tobio says with a laugh, purely dark and indecent. He makes quick work to roll the condom over his cock, hissing through his teeth at how sensitive he is. "You should see yourself right now, baby. Legs spread, cock hard again, tight little asshole clenching over nothing with your cum all over you."

He can't even bring himself to look embarrassed right now, not when Tobio's crude words doing nothing but sending a wave of heady arousal washing over Hinata. His traitorous cock jumps, a fresh stream of pre beading at the tip of his head already.

"Fuck you," Hinata snaps, but there's no heat in it as he attempts to close his thighs shut.

Tobio's faster. He bullies his way between Hinata's legs, making space as he hooks one of his thighs around his hip. "You will," he promises, popping open the bottle of lube and slicking it all over his fingers. He drips a decent amount of it directly on Hinata's puckered hole, just to make the entry easier.

Tobio tosses the bottle haphazardly to the side. Three fingers slide inside Hinata again, the stretch a little less constricting this time as a moan tumbles out of his lips. Hinata throws his head back, mouth parting as he brings his other knee up close to his chest, opening himself up wider for Tobio.

"But not tonight," Tobio says, leaning down to press his forehead against Hinata's. His fingers slip out, the head of his cock brushing against him as he shivers in anticipation. "Tonight, I'm taking care of you, remember?"

He doesn't wait for Hinata to reply to that, choosing that moment to push an inch inside. They groan at the stretch—Tobio's cock thicker than his fingers as Hinata squeezes him tight. "Tobio," he moans his name, eyes rolling back as his hands reach out for him.

"I got you," Tobio murmurs, gritting his teeth to focus on not cumming right away. His breaths come out heavily, his bangs damp on his forehead as sweat trickles down his skin. "I got you, Shouyou—relax for me."

He whimpers at the intrusion, but does as Tobio says. And another delicious groan echoes in the space between them as Tobio slides another few inches inside. "You feel so good," Hinata mewls, nails digging into Tobio's back, raking down when he feels him halfway inside now. "More, please," he whines. "More, Tobio."

Tobio chuckles incredulously, the sound tapering to a strained moan. "Needy baby," he teases, and then thrusts the rest of his cock until he's fully seated inside of Hinata. "Oh, fuck, you're so tight—" Tobio moans again when he feels him squeeze around him. "Guess it's been a while since I fucked you hard enough, huh?" He laughs, the sound deep and husky and all sorts of wrecked as he crushes his mouth against Hinata's.

Tobio swallows his whimpers, inhales his cries, and soaks in his sobs. He licks into Hinata's mouth, along his teeth and the roof of his mouth, and then pushing playfully against his tongue. He doesn't move just yet—staying fully sheathed inside of Hinata and just allowing him to adjust. Tobio may not be as girthy as Hinata is, but he's longer. Enough that Hinata can feel it so deep inside.

"Don't worry, baby," Tobio murmurs, hiking Hinata's leg higher up his hip as he holds his other thigh flushed against Hinata's chest. "I'll take care of you, y'know I do." He rests Hinata's calf over his shoulder, angling him in a way where Tobio can slide even deeper.

"Sh-Shit—!" Hinata gasps, mouth parting as drool dribbles down the side. Tobio hasn't even properly fucked him yet, and he's already wrecked just by warming his cock like this. "C'mon, Tobio," he's slurring his words, drunk on Tobio's cock that pulses inside of him at the sound of his name. "F-Fuck me already. Please."

And because Tobio has always had trouble denying Hinata of what he's wanted—he starts to move.

Shallow thrusts that stretch him wider and deeper, the length of his cock dragging against Hinata's walls that clamp down on him on the outstroke. Like he doesn't want to let Tobio go. He groans at the fullness of Tobio, incoherent words falling past his lips as he begs for more, Tobio, more.

"So fucking warm," Tobio seethes through his teeth, face contorted in pleasure that only Hinata can ever see in this lifetime. He pulls out farther, all the way to the tip—and snaps his hips hard against Hinata's, eliciting a cry from him. "Takin' me so fucking well," Tobio groans out, feeling Hinata's cock slap between their stomachs—rock hard and twitching like crazy. "So good, so good for me, always so fucking good for me."

"Tobio, Tobio, Tobio—" Hinata's chanting his name like a prayer, every thrust of Tobio's thick length driving harder and deeper until he can feel a fresh wave of tears prickle the corners of his eyes. Until he's sobbing over how euphoric he feels right now; every drag of Tobio's cock making him feel the prominent vein on the underside of it.

He barely registers Tobio wiping his tears away, pressing reverent kisses all over his face, his cheeks, his jaw, his neck—worshipping Hinata with his teeth and lips and tongue until all Hinata can perceive at this moment is Tobio.

The heady smell of sex clings onto the air—musk, sweat, and cum painting their bodies with every breath they take. The obscene squelches Tobio's cock makes every time it sinks in and out of Hinata, skin slapping against skin the harder he fucks him. Hinata's dripping precum all over, rivulets of it leaking down his shaft that throbs desperately between them as it soaks down to his balls and even further down to coat Tobio's cock. A thing ring of white creams the base, he can already feel it through the condom.

Tobio's so close.

He can feel his balls draw tight, the entire length of his cock pulsating with every stroke that has his hips stuttering. It's been a while since he's been intimate with Hinata, and his lover's inner walls milking the fuck out of his cock in every thrust is undoing him faster than he thought it would.

But Tobio can't cum yet.

He refuses to.

Not when Hinata is still a moaning wreck underneath him chasing after his second orgasm of the night, his own cock completely untouched this time.

"You're so t-tight," Tobio pathetically grunts against Hinata's neck, littered with bites as he grinds his pelvis into him. "Shit, baby—you feel good? Does it feel good?" the words tumble out of him before he can stop it, always wanting to ensure Hinata's comfortable. Always making certain that he's not hurting him.

"So good, Tobio, so fucking good, I think I'm—mmph!" Hinata gasps, the air punching out of his lungs when Tobio jostles him around a little, the new angle causing every downstroke to create pressure deeper inside of him. Each thrust makes the head of Tobio's cock graze against his prostate, sending rolling waves of unbearable pleasure down his spine and fogging his brain.

Tobio groans when Hinata flutters wildly around his cock, the squeeze driving him to the brink of insanity. "F-Fuck, baby, you're close too, aren't you?" he rasps, the roughness of his voice making Hinata whine needily. "Come on, Shouyou. Cum for me. Let go for me, I'm right there with you."

Three more thrusts is all Hinata needs before a broken moan falls out of his lips, eyes rolling back into his head as his back arches off the bed. Thick ropes of milky white spill out of his cock, painting the both of them with the heat of his release, nails raking hard along the lines of muscle on Tobio's back. The pain mixed with pleasure causes Tobio to follow immediately after, white edging his vision as he jerks his hips forward and buries himself deep inside to the hilt.

He floods into the condom, cock violently twitching and spasming as he rocks shallowly to prolong his orgasm. Tobio's breaths are ragged, mouth kissing along the expanse of Hinata's sweaty collarbone as he mumbles praises of how good he was for him over and over.

The thick scent of sex washes over them as they bask in the afterglow for just a moment, neither of them saying anything as Tobio softens inside of Hinata who keeps his arms around the other, one hand lazily running up and down Tobio's spine. Tobio can't stop pressing lingering kisses on Hinata's skin, murmuring how much he misses him these last few months.

Finally, Tobio slides out of Hinata, drawing a small breath from the other before he clambers to his feet. "Wait here," he mutters in a low voice before padding to the bathroom, ridding his flaccid cock of the condom and cleaning himself up. He wets a towel with warm water and hurries back to Hinata who still lays boneless on the futon, heavily breathing with eyes halfway open.

He gently wipes off all the excess cum on Hinata's chest and stomach, brushing another kiss to his temple before tossing the dirty towel back in the bathroom. Tobio walks back to the room just as Hinata rolls over to the opposite side of the mattress that isn't damp with their slick and sweat, and he climbs into bed next to him.

"Go to sleep," Tobio whispers, drawing the blankets over their naked bodies, his chest pressed warm against Hinata's back with an arm thrown over his waist.

Hinata doesn't say anything, exhaustion weighing down already on him as his shoulders rise and fall steadily. He hums once, and then completely passes out before he can even notice Tobio sliding an arm under his head to cradle him closer to his chest.

It's three in the morning when Tobio wakes up to an incessant buzzing noise.

For a second, he stills in the darkness of the room, wondering why there's a weight pressed to his side—warm and soft and impossibly familiar. And then the memories of what had occurred a few hours ago come flooding back into him, and he sighs in both longing and relief.

Hinata is in his arms again.

Tobio shuffles the slightest bit, careful not to wake him up, and brushes a kiss on the crown of Hinata's head that's tucked under his chin. Hinata makes a soft whining sound from the back of his throat, and it makes Tobio's chest ache with fondness.

Another buzz from the nightstand.

Tobio frowns and reaches for the phone that's lighting up, the movement making Hinata mumble drowsily under his breath and turn to the other side so he can return to sleep peacefully. He doesn't realize it's Hinata's phone that's been vibrating until he blinks once, twice, and then stares blurrily at the string of texts that light up the lockscreen.

Tsum-Tsum: shou-kun, i hope everything is okay.

Tsum-Tsum: i'm sorry for texting so late at night. i was just worried.

Tsum-Tsum: yk with the whole kageyama situation. i know it's been fucking up your sleep schedule.

Tsum-Tsum: i'm always here if you need anyone to talk to.

Tsum-Tsum: and i meant what i said the other day. i can wait however long it takes for you. you're worth it. i'm not going anywhere.

Tobio feels physically ill.

So he's right. Atsumu knows about him and Hinata, and he still chooses to wait for him at the end of the day. If Tobio screws up, Atsumu will be there for Hinata with open arms. If Tobio makes a mistake, Atsumu will be there to sweep Hinata off his feet. And he realizes just how easy it is to lose Hinata to Atsumu, the man who is nothing like Tobio. Open, sincere, and honest about his feelings in a way that makes Tobio choke.

Everything comes rushing to him all at once.

Kitagawa Daiichi.

His grandfather.

Oikawa Tooru.

Miwa.

Tobio forces the rising panic to subside, bottling it all up inside of his chest until the growing twist doesn't make him throw up. Quietly, he puts Hinata's phone back on the nightstand and slides out of the covers. He dresses himself in the clothes he'd left strewn across the floor, cringing at the dampness of his boxers that have only partially dried up. He moves as carefully as he can to not wake Hinata up, crossing the room to where his shoes lay haphazardly next to Hinata's.

"Leaving already?"

Tobio bristles.

He doesn't turn, not when he knows the second his eyes land on the hurt glittering in Hinata's gaze, he would fold instantly. He can hear the bitterness through Hinata's sleep-riddled voice, the rough harshness that tinged in the question.

Slowly, Tobio says: "I just…"

And suddenly, words fail him. There's nothing he can say to not make the situation any worse than it already is. There's no excuse he can make that can ease the pain Hinata's feeling, no single reason that would be enough.

He opens his mouth.

I'm sorry.

I wish I can tell you why I am the way I am.

You deserve someone so much better than me.

They all die on his tongue. He tells himself to keep walking, to put his shoes on, and to leave. Hinata knows it's only for a night anyways, he convinces himself.

But Tobio turns halfway anyways to look at Hinata over his shoulder.

Hinata's facing the opposite direction, not allowing Tobio even a glimpse of his face. He's curled up under the covers, head sinking into the pillow as his arms wrap around himself. And in a voice far quieter than Tobio has ever heard come from him, Hinata whispers: "Just go, Kageyama. It's all you're ever good at anyways."

It stings harder than Tobio realizes it would.

Those small, quiet words make him flinch like he'd been physically struck, stumbling a step back as Tobio's throat closes in on him. He wants to take it all back. To cross the ocean between them and return to bed, drawing Hinata back into his arms and whisper sweet nothings and promises to never leave again.

But he can't.

Because his fear paralyzes him, overriding rhyme and reason until he no longer even recognizes himself.

He takes one last look at Hinata, watching his shoulders cave in on themselves to make himself even smaller. He lingers a beat too long—much longer than he should, than he has a right to.

I'm sorry—the words don't leave him.

The sound of the lock quietly clicking shut echoes in the four corners of the room, and Tobio is gone.

Winter passes before Tobio knows it. The months fly without him dwelling in the present, everything drifting by in a meaningless blur. He undergoes three weeks of rehab for his stupid strain (turns out, it was a little more complicated than he thought it would be) and he throws himself into training day and night. The Schweiden Adlers win some games, lose some games. Tobio blinks through it all.

Spring peeks through like sun rays filtering through the trees, a warm breeze hinting in the air every so often. Tobio finds himself driving around without any actual destination in mind. Some days he takes long walks along the bridge where people bike through, some days he gets behind the wheel and just coasts along the empty highways at night with the window down.

He hasn't seen or spoken to Hinata since that night he'd walked away. He doesn't text or call him either, he has no right to. Hinata doesn't reach out to him either—he'd long stopped since that very first time years ago when Tobio left after fucking him all night. It had only ever been Tobio then who'd come and gone—and it makes him feel even more like a dick for treating Hinata like this all along.

Tobio knows he should apologize. But he wonders if Hinata wants space from him more than his halfhearted apologies. So he chooses the latter and gives Hinata radio silence.

Everything changes on a Sunday afternoon.

With their schedule free for the weekend, Tobio has done nothing but mope around in the sharehouse. It makes the place downright depressing that Hoshiumi has had enough. "Go out and do something," he demanded that morning as a grim-faced Ushijima nodded in agreement to the spiker.

So Tobio rolled his eyes at them, lips curling faintly at his friends being worried over him before promising them he'd go for a drive in the day.

Tobio had made it all of ten minutes down the road with the intention of heading to the cliffs where he and Hinata used to frequent before when a car comes barreling past him in the four-way stop. He slams on the brakes, tires screeching loudly as he lurches forward, seatbelt digging sharply into his chest. The momentum throws him back into his seat, the back of his head striking the headrest.

He groans at the impact, swearing he feels as though his neck just snapped from how roughly he'd been tossed in the seat like a ragdoll. Tobio winces, the seatbelt practically searing across his chest as he tries to hook a thumb around it to pull it away from his body.

He has half a mind to slide out of the car and confront the driver who'd moronically gone before it was his turn, but at that very moment—for two seconds—all Tobio could think of isn't how he'd been so close to crashing into another car. It isn't how he could've died if he'd stepped on the gas a second too early or if he'd hit the brakes a second too late.

All that floods through his mind is Hinata.

And every single regret, every guilt, every hurt he's ever caused him.

That alters everything inside of Tobio, rewriting the chemistry in his blood. For two seconds, that fear that once swallowed him whole and turned him into a coward is long gone.

He decides he's done living like this.

Hinata Shouyou does not know what he's expecting to happen on an unassuming Sunday evening. But it's certainly not Sakusa Kiyoomi knocking on his bedroom door in the sharehouse, poking his head in to say:

"Kageyama is in our front door."

He blinks. Once. Twice. And then—

"Excuse me?"

Sakusa sighs wearily, eyebrows furrowing like the presence of the black-haired setter has thrown off his whole day. "Kageyama is outside," Sakusa says, lips pulling into a thoughtful frown. He doesn't wear a mask inside the house, obviously, since he'd been absolutely thorough in ensuring everyone does their share of chores and cleans to every last grit. "He's asking for you."

The most unattractive squawk leaves Hinata as he tumbles off his bed, scrambling to get to his mirror where he throws himself a quick glance. Patting down his hair to what he deems acceptable (like he hasn't been sulking all weekend long), he flies past Sakusa still standing in his doorway and runs down the stairs.

True enough—Kageyama Tobio is standing awkwardly in the Black Jackals' living room. He hasn't seen Hinata yet, still fidgeting his thumbs as he pretends to not notice Adriah Tomas's and Inunaki Shion's probing stares from where they occupy the couch.

"Kageyama?" Hinata finally enters the room, and Tobio's head snaps up in an instant.

Their eyes meet and he swears Tobio's shoulders drop several inches in pure relief. "Shouyou," his voice is quiet but so painfully full of adoration that it makes something ache deep inside of Hinata.

"I—what—?" Hinata clears his throat, braving another step to him. He can feel his heart pounding erratically in his chest, he wonders if Tobio can hear it. "What're you doing here?"

"I was just…uh…," he trails off uncomfortably, eyes flickering to where the libero and middle blocker both watch him with eager curiosity.

Hinata opens his mouth to offer his bedroom for them to speak without probing ears, only for Sakusa to appear from the staircase behind him. "We'll give you two some privacy to talk." Sakusa looks over to Adriah and Inunaki, jerking his head at them as he makes his way to the genkan for his shoes. "We're going to meet up with the other guys at the bar. The house is yours for a few hours."

The other two Jackals share nosy glances but hurry after Sakusa to put their shoes on as well. Hinata smiles faintly at the sight, grateful for his friends.

Sakusa doesn't say anything more, only to linger for a beat in the threshold as he throws Tobio a warning glare and a narrowing of his eyes. A silent but clear message that says: "You better not fuck things up again or else."

And then he shuts the door behind him.

Silence rings throughout the house for a tense moment as Hinata and Tobio stare at each other for a moment. Tobio opens his mouth hesitantly and then closes it again like a fish, so Hinata sighs and steps towards him.

"What're you doing here, Tobio?" he asks carefully, keeping his face guarded. He hasn't seen Tobio since that night—the one where he foolishly thought that maybe…just maybe it wouldn't be the same as all the others. He claims an armchair, gesturing for Tobio to sit on the one across him. "Is everything alright?"

Tobio sinks to the cushions, something with how he carries himself today feels strange to Hinata. Like he's worn himself out; like he's accepting defeat and left everything up to fate. Tobio swallows, his fingers still twiddling with each other, but his dark blue eyes never once left Hinata's.

"I'm okay," he says in a voice too small for a man his size. "I just—" he drags in a deep inhale and then, "I almost got in a car accident today and I didn't even care if I died or not, because the thought hadn't once crossed my mind. All I could think of at that very moment was you and I didn't even know if—"

"You what?!" Hinata screeches, every nerve on his brain short-circuiting as he shoots out of his seat. He crosses the distance between them in two steps, throwing himself to the seat next to Tobio as he reaches for his hands.

Tobio blinks. "Oh, don't worry, I'm fine. I didn't actually get into a wreck or anything—"

"What the actual fuck?" Hinata snaps, more out of concern than anger. He's lifting Tobio's hands to his eye level, gaze roving all over his fingers and closely inspecting each digit to make sure everything is intact. "Are you hurt anywhere? How's your neck? Were you wearing a seatbelt? Did you get the other guy's plates—?"

His words slightly trail off at the end when he glances up to ask why the hell is Tobio not saying anything—only to find that he's staring at Hinata with wide eyes lined with silver, an emotion swimming in those blue irises so strong that they punch the air out of Hinata's lungs.

And he understands immediately why.

Because Hinata's first reaction is to check for Tobio's hands. For a setter, his hands and fingers are the most important things to him. If he's injured them, Tobio would have to go through the pains of recovery and retraining in order to work through any differences a broken finger would bring to his setting. Especially for someone who sets with the utmost precision.

And if they'd been broken beyond repair…his life would be over.

"I told you," Tobio murmurs, curling his fingers around Hinata's as he slowly lowers their intertwined hands on his lap. "I'm okay."

Hinata swallows hard. He braces himself one last time before he asks again: "Why are you here, Tobio?"

Tobio shifts a little, angling his body so he can face Hinata better. His knee brushes against his, but Tobio doesn't move away, and neither does Hinata. He exhales long and then starts to speak.

"When I was thirteen, my grandfather died."

Hinata knows this, but he keeps his mouth clamped shut. Especially when Tobio's eyes glaze over slightly in memory.

"He's always been with me growing up, my parents were always busy with work. So he took it upon himself to teach me about things that I should've learned from my parents. He taught me how to cook, how to clean, how to study, how to play volleyball. He's the one who took me to the court for the first time in my life—taught me what I know. And then—"

Tobio's mouth tightens as a shadow passes his face.

"And then he passed away. And I couldn't—" his voice cracks a little, "I didn't know how to deal with how I felt about it. He was the closest person I had in my life. He was the one person I could trust with anything, and he was always patient with me even when I had trouble expressing myself. I didn't have any friends growing up, so my grandfather was my best friend. And when he died, I couldn't cope with it. I couldn't deal with it."

Hinata's heart chips inside, the image of little Kageyama Tobio hearing the news of the only person who's been with him all his life passing away—he wants to take him into his arms and embrace his pain away.

"Then I got to middle school and I thought—I thought that maybe things can start looking up for me. I applied all I could learn from Jii-san to the sport and I knew what they were calling me. A prodigy. I never thought much about it, but I had hoped I was doing good enough in volleyball to make friends in the team. That's when I met Oikawa."

Tobio's fingers curl a little tighter around Hinata's hand, prompting the latter to rub his thumb soothingly across his knuckles.

"He was such a good player," Tobio confesses in a quiet voice. "I looked up to him a lot. I respected him as a senior. I didn't assume he'd want to be my friend, I don't think I was very good at making them anyways. But I thought if I could come up to him for advice every now and then, maybe he'd lend me a hand. I just…I wanted to be like him, you know?" Tobio's jaw sets. "I never knew he thought of me that way. I never realized how much damage I was causing his mental health—"

"That's not your fault, Tobio, and you know that," Hinata gently interrupts.

Tobio shakes his head. "Oikawa graduated before our relationship could be repaired—he and Iwaizumi left, and I was alone once again. And then my last year of middle school happened…and my team wouldn't—" he stumbles over his words, throat growing thick, "they called me King. They let my sets fall. They thought of me as a dictator on the court who was too controlling, who had expectations they couldn't meet, and they couldn't handle that."

Hinata holds his hands a little tighter.

"I couldn't handle the rejection, the humiliation—I told myself there was nobody in the world I could rely on except for myself and my sister. Miwa. When Jii-san died, she's the only one in my family I could talk to. The only one I felt remotely connected to. She told me time and time again that she'd always be there for me. That she wouldn't leave me the same way Jii-san did. But then she turned eighteen the summer before I entered Karasuno—and she left."

Tobio's teeth grinds, nose turning red as his eyes turn watery in frustration. Hinata wordlessly reaches up, sliding his palm around Tobio's jaw as he uses the pad of his thumb to wipe off a stray tear.

"She left Miyagi the second she turned eighteen. She'd packed her bags one day and came into my room in the night to kiss me goodbye, telling me to be good and to listen to our parents. Then she left just like that in the middle of the night without a single word to anyone else."

Hinata knows Tobio has an older sister who followed her dreams to be a hair stylist, but he did not know that she'd left like that.

"Miwa was the last person I'd let get close enough to hurt me. Never again—I couldn't bear to pick up the pieces all over again, only to give myself to someone who could hurt me just like how everyone else did. But then I met you."

Tobio's eyes find Hinata's, the blue in them piercing as they take his breath away. He feels Tobio lean into his touch, nuzzling into his palm that's warm against his cheek.

"And I couldn't find it in me to stay away. For years, I've come to you, begging for just a night so I can hold you and touch you and kiss you. But morning comes and I leave without fail. And I know you don't deserve that—not one bit of it. But every time I pull myself away from you, every time I snap those barriers up again to remind myself what would happen if I get too close, I go crazy over the fact that you're too far out of my reach. I turned down Italy because I don't want to imagine living so far away from you. If I can't hold you, I lose my mind. If I'm not next to you, I feel like I can't breath. Like I'm not really living."

Hinata can't breathe—not when Tobio is looking at him like that. Slowly, he croaks out: "What're you saying?"

"I'm saying—" Tobio licks his lips, and then slides a hand over the one Hinata has on his face. His touch is warm, grounding, and heartachingly certain. "I'm saying that I love you, Shouyou. I've been in love with you since our first year in Karasuno. And I'm saying that I have a fear of rejection. I'm scared of being abandoned again like how everyone has done my whole life. But that there is one thing—just the one thing that terrifies me more than that, and it's losing you, Shouyou."

A small sob escapes Hinata before he even realizes, Tobio's face turning blurry before him as he rapidly blinks the tears away. Tobio moves closer, holding his face in his broad hands.

"After today, all I can think about is how I can't live without you, Shouyou. I don't want to live a life without you." He shakes his head fervently, taking a trembling breath before leaning his forehead against Hinata's. "I can never live with myself if I truly let you go this way. And I'm so sorry for everything I've done. Every hurtful word, every time I walked out of the door, every rejection I've coldly said just because I let my fear get the best of me."

"Tobio," Hinata shakily whispers his name, face wet from the tears that won't stop falling.

"I'm so sorry, baby," Tobio breathes out, eyes fluttering shut as their noses brush from how close they are. "I'll never do that to you again. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry—you deserve so much better."

Hinata's sobbing uncontrollably, fingers fisting Tobio's shirt as he says: "You're such an idiot, Bakageyama!" And then he lurches forward himself, crushing his lips against Tobio's—his tears turning the kiss salty. It knocks the breath out of him as he feels Tobio kiss him back harder, cradling his face in his perfect setter fingers.

Tobio's voice is shaking when they pull back just enough for him to tease, "I told you what would happen if you called me that again."

Hinata laughs, tugging Tobio to him by his shirt. "You idiot!" He kisses him hard on the mouth. "Moron!" Another kiss that knocks their teeth together. "Scrub!"

Tobio's laughing with him, snaking his arms around Hinata's waist so he can slide him on his lap. "I fully accept them all," he concedes, lips brushing Hinata's with every word.

A huff as Hinata comfortably perches on Tobio's lap, pouting down at him as he wraps his arms around his neck. "Don't leave me again," he whispers, "I don't think I have it in me to handle it anymore if you do."

Tobio's face softens, the harsh lines of his features smoothening out as he gazes up at Hinata with all the fondness of the world. "I won't," he whispers back in a quiet promise.

"Good."

Hinata leans in to kiss him again, pouring everything he's ever felt all these years of loving Tobio in silence. He doesn't hold anything back, parting his lips so his tongue meets his. Tobio tightens his hold around him, bringing him even closer as they ignore their need for oxygen. He takes Tobio's bottom lip between his teeth, eliciting a soft groan from the taller boy whose fingers dig into his hips.

"Upstairs," Hinata mumbles breathlessly, and Tobio rises to his feet with Hinata in his arms. He doesn't even grunt in exertion, carrying Hinata like it's the easiest thing in the world as he walks them up the stairs while Hinata presses absentminded kisses down Tobio's jaw and throat.

He knows which room belongs to Hinata—he's been here before. Kicking the door shut behind him, Tobio crosses the room to the bed where he lays Hinata down gently. Hinata looks golden like this—beautiful against the sheets as he smiles coyly up at Tobio.

"Kiss me," he says to Tobio.

He obliges, mouths searching for each other's halfway as Tobio kisses him slowly. Sweetly. Like Hinata's lips are all he's ever known. He carves himself into his mouth, mapping the bow of his lips like it's the holiest thing he can bring himself to his knees to worship.

Tobio pulls back to breathe, resting his forearms on the futon so he can watch Hinata's face—eyes half-lidded, mouth turning swollen.

And then Hinata says, "Kiss me again."

He chuckles with unbridled affection, fondly grazing his nose against Hinata's cheek as he tells him, "I'll give you all the damn kisses you ask for, my greedy baby."

Tobio kisses him again. He worships him with every inch of skin he reveals as he slowly peels back every layer of clothing. Hinata's breaths turn shallow in anticipation, allowing Tobio to undress him article by article.

"I love you," Tobio tells him again, kissing him on the lips as his hand travels down Hinata's chest to where his cock rests hard against his stomach.

Hinata gasps at how warm Tobio's hand feels around him, eyes rolling back when he grips him by the base. "I love you," he says back.

Tobio uses his thumb to spread over the slick that beads out of the tip of Hinata's cock, smearing it down his shaft so the glide becomes smoother. The sound that follows is instantly filthy and obscene, the squelch making Hinata groan and arch his back so his hips chase after every stroke.

"Don't make me leave in the morning," Tobio whispers, underlying fear coating his voice.

Hinata breathily replies, "I won't."

He kisses him again, moaning against Tobio's mouth when his fingers squeeze around his length. He lets Tobio's hands wander however they please—one stroking his cock so deliciously slow that it makes him lose his mind, and the other using his dribbling precum to spread down his balls and even lower to where his ass is already clenching around nothing in mere anticipation of Tobio.

Tobio takes his time with Hinata, knowing what makes him gasp and moan and whine. His hands move with expert precision along the contours of Hinata's chest, fingers gripping and cupping and stroking him with deliberate patience before rewarding him with a hardness that has him whimpering into a debauched mess underneath him. He opens him with heartaching gentleness, eyes never once leaving Hinata's face as he glides one, two, and then three fingers in and out of his puckered hole. Stretching him out to prepare him for his cock, using as much of his precum to make the entry slick.

When he grunts in approval over Hinata taking his fingers all the way to the last knuckle, Tobio slides out and moves to get out of bed. Only for Hinata to stop him before he could grab the bottle of lube from his bedside dresser where a pack of condoms also sit.

"No, wait—" Hinata pants, eyes glazed over with desire as he tugs Tobio back to him. His mouth finds Tobio's again, murmuring against his lips, "I don't want to use it tonight."

Tobio pulls back a little to frown thoughtfully. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't," Hinata insists, cupping Tobio's jaw so he can look him in the eyes. "I just want to feel you. All of you." He kisses him long enough that he's breathless when he pulls back. "I just want you tonight."

Tobio exhales shakily, using his thumb to trace Hinata's lips. "You don't want me to use a condom?"

Hinata shakes his head, tongue darting out to swirl around his thumb teasingly. "I want to feel you when you cum inside of me."

He watches as Tobio's eyes darken instantly at his words, pupils blown wide as the air punches out of his lungs in a trembling breath. "You're dangerous."

He grins. "Didn't you say you would make me regret it?" He pauses for good measure, and then brings his lips over to brush the shell of Tobio's ear. "Bakageyama?"

Tobio growls under his breath, the sound rough and husky as he drops to his knees and throws both of Hinata's legs over his shoulders. "Gonna make you wish you never said that, baby," he rasps, eyes glinting between Hinata's thighs.

He brings Hinata to his first orgasm of the night like this. Worshipping his cock and ass with just his mouth, soaking the sheets beneath him with slick and spit and cum until he can feel Hinata's legs trembling from how hard he'd just came. He didn't stop just yet—not until Hinata was sobbing and tugging him back up because he can't take any more of Tobio's teasing.

He kisses Hinata with the bottom half of his face drenched and dripping, the scent and taste making Hinata moan against his lips. And when he thrusts inside of Hinata, the sound is wet and obscene enough that it harmonizes to the broken, wrecked moans that leave their mouths in unison. He'd ate Hinata out more than enough that the glide is filthy smooth and slick, allowing him to slide himself all the way to the hilt until he bottoms out.

"F-Fuck, Shouyou—" Tobio pants, arms trembling as they hold his weight up. "I can feel you, holy shit, you feel so good. So fucking warm and wet—" he groans like a man drunk on the feeling of Hinata's velvety walls clamping down on him.

Hinata's face is wet with tears, the initial pain washing over by the pleasure that immediately follows as he lets out a keening whine. "Fuck me, Tobio," he begs. "Please—I need you to move already."

He does. Slow, rolling strokes that quickly become hard and fast as Hinata rakes his nails down his back. The smell of sex clings to the air as Tobio fucks him exactly like he promised he would. "Bend over," he grunts into his ear, sliding out of Hinata who cries out at the absence of him. He doesn't even give Hinata time to turn around, holding him and flipping him around himself.

Tobio plunges his cock back inside of Hinata in a single thrust, one hand pushing down on Hinata's back so his arch deliciously opens him up. He fucks him deeper this way, the other hand gripping Hinata's hip to pull him back to meet his thrusts.

Hinata moans into the pillow, his ass meeting Tobio's hips in every stroke. He's babbling incoherent pleads, half of them begging for Tobio to fuck him harder and the other half sobbing out how it's too much and that he think Tobio might actually split him open.

"Come on, I can feel you milking my cock," Tobio groans as he snaps his hips unrelentingly, driving deeper as the blunt head grazes against Hinata's sensitive spot that makes him see stars. "Cum for me, baby. Let me feel you."

Hinata cries, the pleasure so overwhelmingly good he knows he'll barely be able to get out bed the next morning. "You first," he taunts amidst his mewls, fingers desperately fisting the sheets.

Tobio laughs, a little cruel and a little fond. And then he leans over so his front pressing against Hinata's back, body curving around him almost protectively. "So competitive even when you're crying for my cock," Tobio mumbles, pressing a kiss on the back of Hinata's neck.

"Please, need you to cum first," Hinata whimpers, broken little gasps following as he fucks himself back against Tobio. "Want to feel you cum inside. Want to feel you fill me up."

Tobio groans at that, his strokes turning messy and losing their rhythm as he loses himself in Hinata's filthy babbles to cum inside please, Tobio, I need to feel you cum inside of me. He swears lowly under his breath, head thrown back as euphoria takes over and he thrusts two more times and—

He doesn't think he's ever cum this hard before in his life, hips stuttering as he buries himself deep inside Hinata. Ropes of white paint his walls, hot and heavy and endless as Hinata moans and tumbles over the edge with him, lost in the bliss only Tobio has ever brought him. Tobio stays sheathed inside of him, blinking languidly as he grinds against Hinata just to see the ring of his own cum spread over the base of his cock.

Tobio is careful when he slides out, greedily watching every drop of his cum dribbling out of Hinata's wrecked asshole and dripping down the back of his thigh. He catches Hinata before he can slump into the mattress, making sure he doesn't smother against his release on the sheets.

He cleans them up like he always does, this time taking extra care to shower Hinata with lingering kisses. Tobio strips the sheets off the futon, laying over a brand new one as Hinata waits patiently with sleep slowly creeping up on him. He teeters over his feet at one point, making Tobio fight off a grin at how adorable he is even when he's not trying to be.

"Come on, baby, I got you." Tobio helps Hinata into a fresh pair of boxers, leading him back to the bed he'd just made as they slide under the covers once more. "You did so good for me," he praises, lips brushing a sweet kiss to Hinata's temple. "I love you."

Hinata hums tiredly, a yawn escaping him as he snuggles deeper into Tobio's arms. "I love you," he coos back in a sleepy voice, burying his face into Tobio's neck as his arms wind around his torso. "You promise you won't leave in the middle of the night again?" his words are muffled against Tobio's skin.

"I'm never leaving again," he promises. "Not until you grow sick of me."

A pause.

Tobio thinks Hinata finally fell asleep.

But then he hears a faint chuckle. "I've been sick of your dumb face since first year."

"Boke Hinata," Tobio chastises with a click of his tongue, but the smile is stupidly wide on his face when he cradles Hinata closer against him.

When morning comes, Hinata wakes up to strong arms wrapped around him and a heavy weight pressed against him. Soft snores fill the room and the familiar scent he's grown to love searing into his skin. Hinata smiles and lets himself fall back to sleep.

Tobio stayed.