Chapter Text
"How are you this incompetent??" Daphne shouted at him, and Derwin cringed inwards a little bit. He really didn't feel that a Slitherbeast running into the carriage, out of the fog and at night to boot, was entirely his fault, but he knew better than to interrupt his boss when she was like that. He knew the script by now, so in a few minutes she'll calm down and he'd get to explain-
"You know what? That's it. I'm calling Larry to terminate your contract."
Derwin's blood froze.
Despite Daphne having the temper of a honey badger on meth when she was upset, there was one thing she never did, and that was make false threats. He was about to lose his job. He'd probably be short on rent and food, and any notion of buying a Y-Sphere just went out the window.
“W-w-wait wait wait, what? Over a slitherbeast running into me?? How is-” Derwin stopped himself halfway. He has already seen what happens if you accuse Daphne of being ‘unfair’. “-Isn't that a bit of an over reaction?”
Daphne's three eyes looked flatly unimpressed with the route he chose to take, but she hadn't pulled out any exotic potions to test on him, so Derwin chose to see that as a win.
“It's not exactly a first offense, now is it, Mr.Feratour?” Derwin found himself instinctively shrinking at the sound of his full name. “There was the batch of HeartWarm potion that caused three hour long erections-”
“HerbalInc. admitted they sent us a tainted of batch of Wayroot! Not to mention you monetised the result near instantly!” Derwin protested.
“- and the whole fiasco with the deodorizing potion, which you were in charge of developing, causing people to get mauled by enraged Baskervilians-” Daphne continued, unabated.
“Look, even Master Eberwolf didn't expect that combination of ingredients to result in a smell that perfectly blended bacon and Baskervilian sex pheromones, which is why our development teams now always include at least two different beast demons.” He countered.
She folded her arms under her chest, causing her fluffy pink bathrobe to accentuate her rather impressive breasts.
Derwin sighed internally. It has been way too long since he and Kusulda had any intimacy.
“And of course, can't forget, you breaking my last bottle of 1773 Pino Nu Ruar.” Daphne finished with a voice so cold and hard he was a little surprised it didn't just cut off any of his limbs.
“Yeah, no, that one was entirely my fault, and I apologised, and will continue to do so.” He admitted, hands raised in a surrendering motion. He slipped while in his boss’s office, tried to grab hold of something, and ended up covered in liquid that probably cost more than his yearly salary.
Daphne held his gaze for a long, terrifying moment, before she sighed and looked away.
“Fine. I'll take the night to consider if you should be let go of not. Dismissed.”
With that, she turned away and sat on what had to be a pretty lavish leather chair.
Derwin was about to thank her and leave. Then a thought struck him - he was saving to take Kusulda for a week in Palm Stings, and that wasn't happening without at least some sort of income.
He looked at his boss, sitting with her back to him, and couldn't help noticing her shoulders were very tense.
“Can I at least offer you a shoulder massage?” His mouth blurted out before his brain could intercept the action.
***
The offer caught Daphne by surprise.
That was something of an understatement, actually. The suggestion came out so completely out of nowhere that she had to turn around and state at Derwin.
“What.”
To his credit he had the decency to look extremely embarrassed.
“I- I just… I mean I can't exactly pay for the carriage, regardless of it not being my fault, and I do genuinely feel bad for ruining your evening like that, plus you seem understandably… tense…” His voice slowly died out under her impassive glare.
To herself, though, she considered the suggestion, even as a part of her brain found the very idea scandalous.
He was known for playing a bassoon as a bard, meaning his fingers would likely have the right combination of strength, dexterity and control… And he did seem genuinely apologetic… Not to mention... Well, he wasn't exactly the ugliest employee in her firm…
The last detail probably shouldn't have been a consideration, and normally it wouldn't have been, but between her high libido, Larry's generally lower one and the recent month and a half of crunch time meaning they haven't so much as been in the same room together for more than five minutes, well… Her brain wasn't entirely in charge of decision making at the moment.
“Fine.” She said after a short pause, and she'd be lying if she said seeing the shock on her employee’s face didn't cheer her up a little bit.
She turned around, incidentally twirling her bathrobe a little, and walked over to the couch before sitting down and leaning back.
***
Ok, didn't expect that to actually work, Derwin admitted to himself. It was a little odd how easily she agreed to it, not to mention that little twirl that showed off just enough leg to not technically be inappropriate… Eh, he was probably overthinking it.
“One shoulder rub, coming right up.” He said, maybe a bit more cheerfully than he actually felt.
Standing behind the couch, he was a little surprised how perfect for a massage the height difference was between his standing form and Daphne's sitting one.
He put his hands on her shoulder… and immediately ran into an unexpected problem.
“Umm, Mrs. Hargreaves?” He said doing his best to keep his voice steady.
“Yes? What is it?” His boss sounded already a little annoyed.
“Well, you see, umm, your bathrobe might be a bit too fluffy.”
There was a moment of pause.
“I beg your pardon?”
“I mean, can you feel anything on your shoulders right now?” He asked. “Because I am literally grabbing at them.”
After another, longer pause, She moved her shoulders a little.
“Hmm. Yes, I see what you mean. Must be the enchanted Overcotton it's made from…” Daphne said, probably to herself, but Derwin still blanched internally. Overcotton was incredibly hard to grow, very light and pleasant to the touch and could be woven to be nearly indestructible, even before any enchantment is applied. No wonder he was having trouble massaging her- his boss was essentially wearing full body armour in disguise!
“Fine then.” Daphne said, sounding a little huffy. “This should let you actually massage me, then.” Derwin looked down as his boss shrugged, causing her bathrobe to slide about halfway down her upper arm, exposing her neck and shoulders. It also exposed a significant part of her upper back and, crucially, the fact she wasn't wearing a bra!!!
“I- Umm- Ah - mmm- Wh-” He tried to find the words to explain the exact nature of his predicament, but failed quite badly.
“Well? I'm waiting.” Daphne's voice made it clear that changing his mind now would end in dire consequences for him.
In for a snail, he thought, In for the rout.
He placed his fingers on her magenta skin, and two things jumped out at him immediately.
The first one was just how smooth and soft it felt, which probably shouldn't have surprised him- as the CEO of the second biggest potion manufacturer in the empire it'd probably be weirder if her skin had blemishes, right?
The second one, though.
“Mrs. Hargreaves, if you don't mind me asking, when was the last time that you had a massage? Or even a proper day off?”
While he waited for the answer he started probing the shoulders and neck to locate the biggest knots in them.
“It… may have been a while.” Finally came the reluctant answer. “Why?” Her tone snapped back to sharp and authoritative.
“Got it, then I'm going to need to be just a little more aggressive- your muscles are tense enough to rival Mason's steel cables.”
There was some indistinct grumbling from Daphne.
“Fine. Is it going to hurt?”
Derwin found himself surprised at how cute that question sounded coming from his normally intimidating boss.
He weighed his options. Honesty won out.
“Possibly, at first. Should feel better soon, though.”
“... I appreciate your candor. Go on.”