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The apartment was quiet, only the hum of the refrigerator and the distant thrum of traffic four floors below. Seungmin sat on the edge of their bed, knees drawn up to his chest, cheek resting against the denim of his sweatpants. He was staring at nothing, really, just at the grain of the hardwood floor.
He'd been doing this a lot lately. Sitting in the dark, thinking about the cruel joke of biology.
In the bathroom, the faucet turned off. Minho emerged a moment later, cotton pajama pants hanging low on his hips, towel draped around his neck. He was still damp from the shower, the scent of his soap filling the space between them. But beneath that, always, was the distinct, warm musk of an Alpha. It wasn't aggressive; Minho had good control, better than most. But it was there, a constant reminder of what he was. Of what Seungmin wasn't.
"You're doing it again," Minho said, soft.
Seungmin didn't look up. "Doing what?"
"Thinking so loud I can hear it from the hallway."
The mattress dipped as Minho sat beside him. His hand found Seungmin's knee, thumb rubbing slow circles through the fabric. The touch was grounding, but it also made Seungmin's chest ache.
"I went to the clinic today," Seungmin said, voice barely above a whisper. "While you were at practice."
Minho went still. "Seungmin-ah..."
"They ran the tests again. Just to be sure. Secondary gender verification, fertility markers, compatibility panels." Seungmin finally lifted his head. His eyes were dry—he'd cried about this enough in private—but they felt hollow. "Same results. Beta. I’ve presented as Beta."
Minho's jaw tightened "You should have told me you were going. I would have gone with you."
"You had dance practice."
"Fuck dance practice."
Seungmin managed a weak smile. "Don't say that. You love dance practice."
"I love you more." Minho's hand moved from his knee to cup his cheek, turning Seungmin's face toward him. "Talk to me. Please."
The words had been sitting in Seungmin's throat for weeks, heavy as stones. He'd tried to swallow them down, rationalize them away, remind himself that they had a good life, better than good. They'd been together for three years, ever since that chaotic tour when Minho had cornered him backstage in Manila and kissed him like he was drowning and Seungmin was air. They were happy. They were successful. They had each other.
But.
"I want them," Seungmin said, and his voice cracked. "I want your pups, Minho. I want to feel them growing. I want to wake up at 3 AM with cravings and swollen feet and complain about you not putting the toilet seat down when I'm too big to bend over. I want... I want to be round with your babies. I want to nurse them. I want to be their mother."
He was crying now, hot tears spilling over Minho's fingers. "And I know it's stupid. I know it's biologically impossible. I'm a Beta. I don't have a womb. I don't have the right hormones. I can't go into heat and I can't be knotted properly and I sure as hell can't get pregnant. But God, Minho, I want it. I want it so bad I can't breathe sometimes. I walk past the baby stores in Gangnam and I have to cross the street because it hurts. I see pregnant Omegas at the grocery store and I have to go home and cry in the shower because I'm jealous, I'm so fucking jealous it makes me sick."
Minho pulled him in, wrapping his arms around Seungmin's shoulders and holding him tight. Seungmin buried his face in Minho's neck, inhaling that Alpha scent, the one that should have been able to trigger something in him if only he were different. If only his body had developed differently. If only.
"I'm sorry," Seungmin choked out. "I'm so sorry. I know we never talked about this. I know you probably don't even want-"
"Stop," Minho commanded gently "Don't apologize for wanting things. Don't apologize for feeling things." He pulled back enough to look Seungmin in the eyes, his expression fierce. "I want them too. I want a family with you. I've been imagining little ones with your smile and your stubbornness since our second anniversary. I just... I didn't know how to bring it up. I didn't want to hurt you."
Seungmin blinked, stunned. "You... you want kids?"
"Of course I do, you idiot," Minho said, fond and wrecked all at once. "I want everything. But I thought you were content with just us. I didn't know you were suffering like this."
"Not suffering," Seungmin lied weakly.
"Liar." Minho kissed his forehead, his eyelids, the tip of his nose. "My beautiful, perfect liar."
They sat there in silence for a while, holding each other, the weight of impossibility pressing down on them. Adoption was an option, of course. Surrogacy. There were ways to build a family that didn't require Seungmin to carry. But Seungmin knew, with a bone-deep certainty, that it wasn't just about having children. It was about the specific act of carrying Minho's pups.
"I wish I was an Omega for you," Seungmin whispered.
Minho made a sound, low and pained, against his collarbone. "Don't say that. Don't ever wish you were different. You're perfect exactly as you are."
"But I'm not what you need."
"You are exactly what I need." Minho pulled back, his hands framing Seungmin's face. "Listen to me, Kim Seungmin. I don't love you despite you being a Beta. I love you because you're you. But if you need... if you need to feel that connection... we can pretend."
Seungmin's breath caught. "What?"
"We can pretend," Minho repeated "I can make you feel like an Omega. I can treat you like one. I can... I can breed you, Seungmin. I can knot you and fill you and tell you you're carrying my pups. I can make you feel pregnant, even if it's just for a night. Would that... would that help? Even a little?"
Seungmin's whole body flushed hot. It wasn't a new idea, he'd fantasized about it, of course he had, every Beta in a mixed-dynamics relationship probably had, but hearing Minho offer it, serious and steady and willing made his head spin.
"You'd do that?" he asked, voice trembling.
"I'd do anything for you," Minho said. "Anything to make you feel whole."
Seungmin looked at his boyfriend—his Alpha—and saw nothing but love and desire and absolute devotion. He nodded, small and shaky. "Yes. Please. I want... I want to be your Omega."
Minho's expression shifted. He stood, pulling Seungmin up with him, and suddenly his hands were everywhere, tugging at Seungmin's clothes, pulling his shirt over his head, pushing his sweatpants down.
"Bed," Minho ordered. "On your back. Now."
Seungmin scrambled to obey.
He'd never seen Minho like this,
fully embracing the dominant Alpha role, letting that natural authority flood his voice and his movements.
Usually, Minho was careful with him, gentle, aware of the physical differences between them. But now he was acting like Seungmin was fragile in a different way.
Seungmin lay back against the pillows, naked and already half-hard, watching as Minho stripped off his own clothes. The Alpha's body was lean muscle and smooth skin, his cock already thickening between his thighs.
"Spread your legs," Minho commanded.
Seungmin did, feeling exposed and vulnerable and desperately aroused. Minho climbed onto the bed, kneeling between Seungmin's thighs, and ran his hands up Seungmin's legs—ankles to knees to hips. His thumbs dug into the soft flesh of Seungmin's inner thighs, spreading him wider.
"Look at you," Minho murmured. "Look at my pretty Omega. So ready for me. So empty."
"I'm empty," Seungmin whispered, playing along, "I need you to fill me, Alpha. Please."
Minho groaned "That's right. You need me to fill you. You need my knot. You need me to breed you, don't you?"
"Yes," Seungmin gasped, arching his back as Minho's hands roamed over his stomach. "Yes, I want your pups. I want to carry them. I want to be pregnant for you."
"You're going to be," Minho promised, leaning down to capture Seungmin's mouth in a brutal kiss. "I'm going to put them in you. I'm going to breed you so full you'll feel pregnant for days. I'll make you feel it."
Seungmin whimpered into the kiss, “Hyung-"
"Call me Alpha," Minho growled against his neck. "When we're like this, I'm your Alpha."
"Alpha," Seungmin breathed, "Please, Alpha. I need you inside me."
Minho reached for the lube on the nightstand, he didn't waste time with teasing. He pressed two fingers against Seungmin's entrance and pushed in.
"So tight," Minho muttered, working his fingers in and out, scissoring them to stretch Seungmin open. "So perfect. You're going to take my knot so well, Omega."
"Yes," Seungmin moaned "Yes, please, give it to me. Breed me. Get me pregnant."
The dirty talk was unraveling something in Seungmin's chest, some knot of grief and longing that he'd been carrying for months.
Minho added a third finger, fucking them into Seungmin with ruthless precision, watching Seungmin's face for every reaction. "You're going to look so beautiful pregnant," Minho told him.
"Alpha," Seungmin sobbed, his cock leaking against his stomach. "Please, I can't wait. I need you now. I need your knot."
Minho withdrew his fingers, leaving Seungmin clenching around nothing. He slicked up his own cock and positioned himself at Seungmin's entrance.
"Look at me," Minho commanded.
Seungmin forced his eyes open, staring up at his Alpha. Minho's black hair was falling into his eyes, his cheeks flushed, his expression fierce and loving.
"I'm going to breed you now," Minho said.
"Yes," Seungmin cried, tears streaming down his temples into his hair. "Yes, please, breed me. Get me pregnant. I want your babies inside me."
Minho thrust in, hard and deep, burying himself to the hilt in one smooth movement. Seungmin moaned, his back bowing off the bed, his hands scrabbling for support on Minho's shoulders.
"That's it," Minho grunted, pulling back only to thrust in again, harder. "Take it. Take my cock. This is where my pups belong, isn't it? Deep in your belly. I'm going to fuck them into you, Seungmin. I'm going to make you a mother."
The words were like electricity, sparking through Seungmin's nerves. He wrapped his legs around Minho's waist, pulling him deeper, urging him on. "Harder," he begged. "Please, harder. I need to feel it. I need to feel like you're really breeding me."
"You're so good," Minho panted, his hips snapping forward with force. "So perfect for me. Taking my cock so well. You're going to be such a good mother, Seungmin. Carrying my litter."
"Litter," Seungmin repeated, the word sending a shiver of arousal through him. "Yes, give me a litter. Fill me up. I want to be huge. I want everyone to know I'm yours. That you bred me."
"Everyone will know," Minho promised, leaning down to bite at Seungmin's collarbone, hard enough to leave marks. "They'll smell me on you. They'll see your belly and know you belong to an Alpha. That you're taken. That you're carrying."
Seungmin was babbling now, incoherent with pleasure and emotion. "Yours. I'm yours. Breed me. Please, Alpha, please knot me. I need your knot. I need to be locked together.”
"Fuck," Minho groaned, his thrusts becoming erratic, losing their rhythm as he chased his release. "Fuck, you're going to make me come. I'm going to fill you up, Omega. I'm going to breed you so full."
"Do it," Seungmin demanded, his own orgasm building, "Do it now. Knot me and breed me. Get me pregnant. I want your babies, Minho. I want them so bad."
Minho moaned and slammed into Seungmin one last time, his cock swelling at the base, the knot expanding and locking them together.
Seungmin came untouched, his release spilling between them as his body tightened around Minho's invading length.
Minho was still coming, pulsing inside him, filling him with warmth. He kept talking, kept up the litany of breeding and pregnancy and pups, his voice rough and wrecked. "That's it. Taking my seed. Taking it all. You're full now, aren't you? Full of my come. It's going to stay inside you. I'm going to plug you up after this, keep it all in. You need to be bred properly. You need to walk around with my pups growing in you."
"Yes," Seungmin sobbed, his own cock still twitching, oversensitive and spent. "Yes, I'm full. I'm pregnant. You've got me pregnant, Alpha."
"Good boy," Minho praised, his knot finally beginning to subside enough that he could move, but he didn't pull out. He stayed inside, rolling them onto their sides without breaking the connection, keeping Seungmin impaled on his softening length. "Such a good Omega. Taking my breeding so well."
Seungmin was crying again, but these were different tears, relief and joy and a strange, fragile contentment. He felt, for the first time in months, like maybe the longing didn't have to consume him.
Minho's hand moved to Seungmin's stomach, "Feel that?" he whispered, "Feel me inside you? That's where they'll be. Right here. Growing and safe."
"I feel it," Seungmin whispered back, placing his own hand over Minho's. "I feel pregnant."
"You're my pregnant Omega," Minho agreed, pressing a kiss to Seungmin's sweaty temple. "And I'm going to take care of you. I'm going to feed you and bathe you and rub your feet when you're tired."
Seungmin laughed, watery and broken "You're ridiculous."
"I'm your Alpha," Minho corrected, but he was smiling "And you're my beautiful, perfect Beta who is currently carrying my imaginary litter."
"Octuplets," Seungmin decided, snuggling closer. "I'm carrying octuplets. That's why I'm so huge already."
Minho's eyes went wide with mock horror. "Eight? Seungmin-ah, I said a litter, not a baseball team."
"I'm very fertile, apparently," Seungmin said primly, though he couldn't stop the giggles that bubbled up. "Must be all the breeding."
"Clearly I have superior Alpha genes," Minho agreed, his hand still resting on Seungmin's stomach, rubbing slow, soothing circles. "Our pups are going to be gorgeous. And loud"
Minho pulled out slowly, making Seungmin whine at the loss, but before Seungmin could complain, Minho was reaching for something else on the nightstand, a plug, Seungmin realized, his face heating up.
"What-"
"Shh," Minho soothed, pressing him onto his back again. "Let me. You said you wanted to feel pregnant. To keep it inside. This will help."
Seungmin let his legs fall open, watching with dazed eyes as Minho carefully, gently, pushed the plug inside him, keeping Minho's release trapped where it was.
"There," Minho said, satisfied, leaning down to kiss Seungmin's belly "Now you're sealed up. Now you'll carry it for hours. Maybe all day tomorrow too. Would you like that? To go to practice with my seed inside you? To feel like you're really pregnant?"
"Yes," Seungmin breathed, the idea sending a fresh thrill through him. "Yes, I want that. I want to feel it while we work."
"Good," Minho purred, climbing up the bed to pull Seungmin into his arms. He arranged them so Seungmin was tucked against his side, his head on Minho's chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart. "Then that's what we'll do. And tomorrow night, if you want, I'll breed you again. And the night after. However long you need to feel whole."
"You'll get tired," Seungmin teased, though his voice was thick with emotion.
"Never," Minho promised, kissing the top of his head. "I'll never get tired of loving you. Of giving you what you need."
They lay there in the dark, tangled together. “I love you," Seungmin whispered.
"I love you too," Minho answered. "My Beta. My Omega. My mother-to-be. Mine."
"Yours," Seungmin agreed, and finally, surrounded by the illusion of pregnancy and the reality of Minho's devotion, he slept.
-
The morning light was different. Seungmin woke up slowly, aware of the plug still inside him, aware of Minho's arm heavy across his waist, hand possessively on his lower belly. For a moment, he lay there in that hazy space between sleep and waking, and he let himself believe.
He let himself believe that the nausea he felt was morning sickness. That the fullness was a baby, or eight babies, growing safe and warm. That the hand on his stomach belonged to an Alpha who had successfully bred his Omega and was now protecting his growing family.
Then reality crept in, but it didn't hurt as much as it usually did. Because Minho was there, awake now, watching him with eyes full of understanding.
"How do you feel?" Minho asked.
"Pregnant," Seungmin said, and smiled.
Minho's face lit up, "Yeah?"
"Yeah. Very pregnant. Your pups are making me hungry."
"Then I'll make breakfast," Minho said, rolling out of bed and pulling on his discarded pajama pants. He turned back, offering Seungmin a hand. "Come on, Mama. Let's get you fed."
Seungmin took his hand, letting Minho pull him up. He waddled slightly, the plug made him walk differently.
"Keep walking like that," Minho murmured, "and I'm going to have to take you back to bed."
"After breakfast," Seungmin negotiated, though he was tempted. "The octuplets want pancakes."
"Of course they do," Minho laughed, leading him toward the kitchen. "They're growing boys and girls. They need their nutrients."
"They're definitely going to be dancers," Seungmin said, settling onto a stool while Minho pulled out the mixing bowl. "Like their father."
"And amazing singers," Minho agreed.
"Like their mother," Seungmin shot back.
Minho set a plate in front of him—pancakes shaped like bunnies, because Minho was secretly soft— and kissed his forehead. "Eat up. You're eating for nine now."
Seungmin laughed, bright and genuine, and picked up his fork.
Maybe someday they would adopt.
Maybe someday they would find a surrogate, or decide that their family was just the two of them and their cats and their friends who were already like family.
Maybe someday the ache would lessen, or maybe it would stay.
But for now, in this moment, Seungmin was happy. He was loved, and he was whole, and that was enough.
It was more than enough. It was everything.