Work Text:
Void got the message while they were stargazing, a gentle ping against their mind accompanied by the data that it had been sent by Clover.
They opened it without a second thought.
Hi! So we've been getting along recently and I was wondering if you wanted to go to the new coffee shop that's opening!! :) No pressure, of course!! But I’d love to have you there! - Clover
They wondered for just a moment if Clover was only asking them because Pixels couldn't go (probably), but clearly it didn't have any sticking power, because they still found themself standing in front of a newly-opened business with a hand-painted sign saying Coffee Shop! on it, fidgeting as they waited for Clover. Not that Clover was late, but that Void freaked out and thought the time they'd set was earlier than it was and was nearly a full hour early. Knowing they were early didn't stop them from wondering whether Clover would actually show up, though.
Clover arrived 15 minutes early, eyes settling on Void and pupils growing very small very quickly. “Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to be late!”
“No, it's- it's fine, I just happened to be in the area, so, I figured, you know. Um…”
“Still, I should've considered that! Or, um, actually…” They paused, seemingly wrestling with themself. “You're not upset, so it's… fine. Right. Um, but, here's the place!”
“Yeah. So, should we go in..?”
“Absolutely! I hear their menu is really good!”
—
The menu was, well. Oil coffee. It was a coffee shop, there wasn't really anything else to sell. So, Clover and Void had the same order. And sat down at the same table, Clover chattering sometimes but also prompting Void to talk.
It was… awkward, but not really bad. Void told Clover about stargazing, and working with Keys, and Sparks. Clover told them about Pixels, and animals, and their recent volunteer work.
They took it outside, after a while of talking so much they still hadn't finished their coffees, but they were taking up a table at the relatively popular location, and that's when the whole problem began.
Clover left their coffee inside, and ran back in to get it, Void standing outside, waiting. For a while. Really, it felt like too long for just grabbing something, but when they peeked inside, they saw Clover engaged in some sort of conversation with one of the shop's creators, so they fidgeted in place, but kept waiting.
And then someone spoke up, and. Well.
“You knew, didn't you? What he was doing.” Void had just wanted some fucking coffee and to hang out with Clover. It wasn't the first time someone had asked them something like this, but usually they were alone, or at least not waiting for someone and thus trapped until they were done.
They didn't bother playing dumb, just sighed. “I knew it wasn't good.” They hadn't known it was straight up murder, they hadn't known about him building the new machines that weren't intended to be sentient, They hadn't known it was that bad, but… they knew. They did. “I didn't want to hurt anyone- but I did! That's not to say I didn't. I was complicit, and I'll be making up for that probably forever, so.” They fidgeted. “I'm sorry for anyone you've known that I hurt. Or anyone at all obviously, but you're the one I'm talking to- okay, going to shut up now.”
The program looked half ready to deck them then and there. “What, that's it? You're sorry?”
“...Yes?”
“You're a murderer.” That one stung. “And everyone's going around treating you like a victim, and you don't even have the wherewithal to look sorry?”
“I mean, I- I was a victim, those aren't mutually exclusive, but you're right, I helped kill people. But I don't think it's fair to talk about my expression just because I feel things and express them differently, what I did was wrong and I know that-”
“Oh, you're going to tell me about fairness? You? Weren't you famously called-” Void knew where this was going and they hated it, they didn't want to hear this or talk about this. “Badfriend? Because you're a bad friend? I'm sure you know a lot about things like fairness and caring about others. I doubt you care about anyone at all.” Their voice was scornful, and Void found their gaze averting to the oil coffee in their hand, shame making it unappetizing.
“I don't use that name anymore.” They tried to make their voice firm, like Friendprogram's when they were telling someone about their lovelessness. “And I do- but what does it matter, it doesn't make someone a bad person if they don't? I mean- if they're hurting people I guess it does, but-”
The other program jumped on their disjointed ramblings and inability to articulate what they meant. “Programs who don't care hurt others. Just like you did. Just like Nick.” They scoffed. “You may not call yourself Badfriend anymore, but you're still a bad friend. And an even worse program.”
Void readied themself to say something, though they weren't sure what they'd say. “I'm sorry for your loss but please stop talking to me like this?” No, that would be too callous. “You're not really acting like a good friend, either?” Maybe, but that wasn't fair. They had a valid reason to hate Void, they were probably lovely to the people they actually cared about. Maybe just apologise again and try to seem like they meant it this time, even though they weren't sure exactly what that meant or how to express that.
But a certain little green friendprogram went to tap on the program's shoulder. “I think my sibling asked you not to call them something, Tulip.” Oh, that was their name. Void vaguely remembered them from class, they just hadn't quite been able to put a name on a face. “And it's neither very friendly nor very nice to talk to them like that.” Clover's arms were crossed, and, for a moment, they almost looked like FP had, back when they were still learning about friendship together. Like a protector.
“Clover,” Tulip's voice was almost pitying, “This is one of those things you wouldn't understand. You've never cared enough about someone to be hurt when you lost them, have you?”
Clover faltered, and, oh, that was different. Talking like that to Void, that was- they deserved that, or at least understood why someone would think they did, but Clover hadn't done anything wrong.
“Of course you'd try to defend someone you think is like you, just struggling with friendship- you can't tell someone using you from an actual friend, can you?”
Clover's eyes shifted for a moment, like they were listening to something, and then they shook themself. “I think you should stop making assumptions without actually listening to what others are saying. Just because we don't all have the same experiences doesn't mean you should assume. And I do have experiences with fr- with someone I care about a lot. I'd be hurt and angry if I lost her, but I think you should still leave Void alone and seek a different kind of emotional closure. Lots of us would love to help you!” Void wasn't sure if they'd imagined it or if Clover had added- uncharacteristically rudely- under their breath, “Not me, I think you should shut up forever, but someone else probably.”
Tulip's eyes narrowed. “I didn't take you as the type of program to defend murderers.”
“And I didn't take you as a mean person, but I guess we have a tendency to make wrong assumptions! Okay bye!” Clover grabbed Void's hand and tugged on it determinedly until they managed to kick their brain into gear and stumble alongside them.
Neither of them said anything until they'd reached a more secluded area that Void was pretty sure used to be home to a test about apologising to your friend when you made mistakes- which, good riddance- and was now home to a series of boxes filled with whatever used to make up this room.
“FP said you prefer being alone usually,” Clover explained. They gave Void a sideways, hopeful look. “I… don't really get it, but I don't really get a lot of things, so we can sit here and be quiet if you want.”
Void debated speaking for a moment, before deciding that was too much effort and they didn't really feel like explaining themself right now. Once the moment had ended, they just felt empty. They jjust… needed a bit of quiet, like Clover had said.
Clover was more fidgety than FP, didn't seem to know what to do with themself in the silence at first, but, after a bit, they weren't twitching at every minute sound from outside, just rocking to themself and glancing around the blissfully dark room.
The silence might have lasted for hours. In all honesty, it probably did.
It didn't feel like a good thing being interrupted or coming to an end when they finally stirred from sitting in their thoughts. It just felt like movement. “Thanks for being there. And for the coffee.” It was still in their hand, they noted; they hadn't let it slip out in all that mess.
Clover's eyes crinkled happily. “I was happy to get you coffee! I'm glad we've been able to talk like this. It's nice. And, um… I know I've been not the greatest and maybe even a little awful sometimes in the past, but there's nothing wrong with expressing things differently. Or feeling them differently. Or not at all! I'm loveless and that's okay! So, everything that program said wasn't true at all. I sent them an unfriend request.”
That last bit pulled a laugh out of Void.
“Did they accept?”
Clover nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, and they tried to send me a rude message but I forwarded it to Pixels and then blocked them.”
“To Pixels?” Void tilted their head. “I know she's your partner, but why her? I mean, not that you shouldn't have, but-?”
“I wanted them to have some evidence when she inevitably went and tormented them. And…” Clover twisted their hands embarrassedly. “I like when she says people are wrong to say things like that. It says you're cool and normal emotions are overrated, by the way.”
That startled a laugh out of Void. “Hah, I guess they are. Could you tell it not to go too hard on them? They're- struggling, and it's not their fault that this whole situation sucks, and I'd be kind of a massive hypocrite to judge them for it.”
Clover was quiet for a moment, and then, “Pixels says that- I'm not repeating that. She says some very rude things, and then that just because their feelings are valid doesn't mean they get to say awful things. And that it's bold of you to assume she's doing any of this for you.” Clover blinked. “Sorry, that's- it means well, they're just…”
“No, it's- it's okay. I'm glad you have her, you've been way better at not being rude about the whole love thing since you met her.” They paused, watching Clover attempt to blink away a few tears. “I mean- I mean, it's making you happier and helping you and that's good, not that you were terrible about- I mean, you kind of were- what I'm trying to say is that I'm glad you have them and I like being around you either way-”
“It's okay,” Clover sniffled, “I know I don't sound genuine because I'm crying but I don't mind. If I want to be a good friend I have to be able to take criticism, and you're right.”
Void relaxed a little. “I'm glad! I mean, I'm glad that you're getting better.”
“I- I'm really glad, too. Both for me and… it’s been really nice getting to spend time with you and FP and everyone else without making everyone uncomfortable or forcing myself to be someone I’m not. And I’m… is it bad to say I’m still glad we went out today? I mean- I- that was probably awful, I’m really sorry.”
“No, I am… I had fun. And the only way to never come across that kind of thing is to never do anything at all- or I guess just be a good person, but statistically everyone’s done something wrong- what I’m saying is that it was always going to happen, but you didn’t have to be there to stick up for me, or to…” They glanced down at their coffee. It had stopped steaming by now, not that the temperature really registered. “Spend time with me.”
“Oh.” Clover’s eyes were wide. “I had fun, too. I, um, I’d love to do something like this again. Without the whole Tulip thing. Of course you don’t have to, but-”
“I want to. I like spending time with you.”
Clover relaxed. “Me too.”