Archive of Our Own

Dear Eddie,

Ever since you left, the house has been so empty. Every single minute, I find myself wishing you were back home, safe with us. With me.

The first week without you—without your voice, your hugs, your laughter—has been far too hard. Even Theo has been quieter, if that’s even possible, and as unbelievable as it sounds, I have been too. It’s hard for me to fall asleep without feeling your arms wrapped around me, giving me warmth and safety. Chris is doing his best to keep up his 'big boy' mask, but earlier this week, he came into our bedroom at night and asked if he could stay with me until he fell asleep. That night, all three of us slept in one bed, and even though my neck ached for days afterward, it was worth every single second.

Please, Eddie, take care of yourself. Write or call as often as you can, because everyone misses you so much. I will stay strong for you, I’ll hold on, and I want you to know that I am keeping everything together, even if my heart is breaking from missing you. I'm sorry for dumping all of this on you, I know you have much bigger things to worry about over there. If nothing else, let the love of the kids and my love for you give you strength in your darkest moments, and never forget that you will always have a home to come back to. We are waiting for you, every minute of every day.

I love you, Eddie. Come home to us.

With all my love,
Buck