Chapter Text
Medic thought he was safe. He and Josef had their lovely daughter Ciara, they had a nice home, and they were happy.
Psst.
Nothing could ruin that.
Psst. Medic.
Nope. Nothing at all.
MEDIC!
Medic jolts upright, startled by the sudden voice. It’s about time. He hasn’t been paying attention to me lately.
“What do you want, narrator?” He asks, earning himself a confused glance from Josef.
Medic glares up at the ceiling, not knowing that I’m actually standing off to the side by that plant they have in the corner.
His head whips around to stare at the spot where I described, and let me tell you, reader, his stare is scary.
It’s like he’s saying he’s going to dissect me even though he can’t see me.
“Why are you like this,” he asks, deadpan.
Well, my darling sociopath, I’m annoying you for one reason.
“And that is?”
You’re having another kid. Welcome to motherhood.
“Was?! What do you mean?!
“Hello? Narrator?
“Where are you? Oh, come on, you can’t be serious. You’re leaving now? After you drop that?!”
(I left him >:3 He can’t hear me when I hide in the brackets.)
“Who are you yelling at?" (Josef asks.)
“The stupid narrator. I know he’s there, watching. You hear that, narrator?! I’ll break your fucking keyboard!”
Rude.
“Okay, who’s this narrator? And why are you so freaked out?” Josef is beginning to think his husband has truly lost it this time.
“Him! Can you not hear him? He’s back now, right?”
Josef looks very concerned.
Josef cannot hear me, Medic. He’s only on the free plan.
“What does that mean?!” Medic shouts at me. I wonder how he knows I’m on the ceiling fan.
Wait, Medic can you see the others?
“There are more?!”
Yes.
“Okay, Medic, darling, what the actual hell is going on here?” Josef pulls Medic to sit on the couch. “Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m fine! It’s this narrator who needs help!”
I do not! But, anyways, I need to know. If you squint really hard out the window, can you see a bunch of people?
“I… yes. Wait, what? Who are those people watching us through the window?! Narrator?!”
Those are all the people reading this right now. (Hello!) Readers, say hello.
Did you say hello?
Yes?
Good.
(I promise things will be less unhinged next chapter. I just really like breaking the fourth wall, you see.)
Okay, Medic, have fun with your new pregnancy!
“What? No! Don’t leave me like this!”
“Scheiße.”