Chapter Text
“That’s why I love you. I love you, Pete. I love…”
Pete was being pulled away before Ray could finish his sentence. Before Pete could hug him or reply to him.
“Ray!” He called out desperately. “Get the fuck off!” He tried to pull his arms free, tried to get out of their grips and into Ray’s. It became clear immediately that they were not going to let him go. Not even to say goodbye. “Ray!!” He screamed at the top of his lungs. “Let him live! Let him live! I wish! I wish he lives! I want to use my wish!” He was screaming, it’s frantic, he didn’t want to win. Well, not anymore. He had decided miles ago that if he made it this far he was going to let Ray win.
The Major’s voice was rough and barely audible over the rain and the ringing in his ears. “We can only grant you that wish if you never see each other again.”
Ray tried to get up, but his strength was all gone. “Don’t!” He exclaimed as best as he could. “Don’t use your wish on me! Don’t waste it!”
“Don’t be stupid, Ray..! Live! Go be with your mama..” He would gladly give up his wish. He didn’t have a good one anymore anyway. Two winners? They would never allow that. Besides, there was no better wish than for your friend to live.
“Pete...” Ray was crying now too. Or maybe it was from the gunshot wounds, or the rain… No, Pete knew it wasn’t that. He knew he was crying, just as he was crying himself.
Pete tried to move closer but he was being pulled back still. “Can I say goodbye to him? Please! Please let me say goodbye!” He was panicking and it was making him yell so hard his throat was already hurting.
The major motioned for the guards to let him go. Pete pulled himself free, desperate for them to let him go faster so he could get to Ray quicker.
He ran to him with newfound energy and then fell to his knees in front of him. He was touching him, grabbing his arms like his life depended on it. He was moving to pull him into arms but then moving away, because he wanted to look at him. He needed to look at him. His hands did not leave him. He touched his shoulders, his jaw, his cheek. He had kissed him before he could stop himself.
He hurried away the moment he realized. The apologies fell from his lips instantly. What had he done? That wasn’t right.. He should not have done that... But as he was apologizing he couldn’t help but caress his cheek and fix his hair. He wiped away each tear the moment he spotted it. Ray was leaning his face into his hand and he tried to enjoy it, but he knew he should move away. He crossed a line and that was wrong and he should back off but... he just couldn’t.
Ray’s face leant more and more heavily into his hand. He was fighting to keep his eyes open and Pete wanted to read it as interest, as something more than just exhaustion, but he knew that all it was, was Ray running out of time.
“Live... be with your mama... find love...”
“Pete...” He uttered knowingly. The rain was pouring down on them relentlessly. He started to lean in, his hands reaching for Pete’s waist. “...I already did...”
“Ray...” He shook his head. They couldn’t.
Ray cleared his throat and repeated his name. “Pete...” his eyes were roaming over his face and then getting stuck on his eyes. They were going from right to left as if he was looking for an answer to a question he did not dare ask. As if he couldn’t decide if he could ask.
“...kiss me again?” He finally uttered, out of breath from the pain and exhaustion of it all.
Pete smiled sadly. “Of course, Ray,” he nodded before bringing their mouths together again. It was gentle and slow, because Pete felt like he’d break if he allowed himself to be as desperate as he felt. Ray, however, clawed his hands up to his face and then pulled him in hard. He was desperate, as desperate as both of them combined. He had never wanted a man before, never liked anyone this quickly, but he was a queer now and he loved him.
Pete knew he needed to back away, needed to let the paramedics take care of him or he’d die anyway, but he couldn’t let go. He was high on the way Ray was pulling on him... the way he pressed closer... the way he was digging his nails into him...
He pressed their mouths together with force, pulling on his head as if that would somehow explain it all. Then finally he pulled away and didn’t let Ray pull him back in.
“Pete...” Ray uttered, weakly reaching for him even though his body was exhausted.
Pete stepped back and let the paramedics take him. “Goodbye...” He uttered. He was feeling numb all of a sudden. No longer high on Ray’s desperation, but instead low on the realization that he had never felt this way about anyone before, and he couldn’t have it.
He’d known he was queer for ages. He had been with plenty of men. But none of them had ever made him fall in love. Until Ray.
He watched as he got loaded into an ambulance and had to cover his ears when the sirens came on. It was too loud. All of it. Everything was too damn loud.
The Major pulled a hand away from his ears and spoke loudly. “If you two are seen together even once, he dies. If you are seen on his property, he dies. If he goes looking for you, he dies. Do I make myself clear?”
Pete nodded frantically. He hated it but it was worth it if Ray got to live.
The look the Major gave him sent chills down his spine. It was a look of disgust, of mischief, of knowing that he had won. Not them. They lived, sure, but the cost.... the cost was immeasurable. And worst of all, the look in the Major’s eyes told him that he knew he would never break the rules. He loved Ray too much to give in to his own needs...
Pete looked away from his gaze and swallowed.
“How will I know if he’s okay?”
“We’ll get the news to you.”
Pete nodded. He was sure they’d find a way. These people were all awful. He was certain they’d find him by any means necessary and he hated it.
He tried to walk away but the weight from it all came crashing down on him and before he knew it he was on the ground, unable to get up.
He came to in a hospital bed. His feet were bandaged, his throat felt dry, but other than that he was feeling so much better than before. He wondered what kind of shit they had put in his body.
A nurse came in and she smiled. “Good morning. How are you feeling?”
Pete tried to speak but nothing came out.
The lady held up a finger. “Ah. One moment.” She came back with a tray of food and a juice box. She got it all ready for him, as if he couldn’t use his own hands, but did not complain once.
Pete took a big gulp and sighed when it soothed instantly.
“Better?”
Pete nodded. Maybe now wasn’t the time to speak.
The lady smiled again and motioned to the tray. “Eat. The IV-fluids help, but it’s not the same as a meal.” She hesitated. “...don’t uh- don’t eat too quickly. I know it’s tempting but after your whole ordeal it’s uh.. better to take it slow.” She nodded and quickly excused herself.
Pete looked at the door she had closed and frowned. What an odd lady.
He spent two days in the hospital, healing and regaining his strength. When he finally got out he was chased by the nurse that had been caring for him the most. The odd one.
“Pete! Uh, sir!” She ran after him as if somehow it was the most important thing she’d ever done. She shook his hand and with it, handed him a piece of paper. “Um. Congratulations. On your win.” She said theatrically, then, under her breath. “He wants you to have this.” She smiled, and hurried back inside.
Pete shoved the piece of paper into his pocket before anyone could see that he had it. His heart was in his throat. He was expected to do some interview about his win but all he could think about was what could be on that piece of paper.
He put it in the line of his underpants as he got forced to put on clean clothes. Sure he never wanted to see these clothes again, but being forced to try on others was hell. He hurt too much, he didn’t want to do this interview and he needed to know what was on that god damn piece of paper.
…
“Can I keep these?” He asked after he walked off stage. He motioned to his clothes. “I don’t have anything else.”
He was met with a chorus of “of course”. He nodded, and walked away without another word. They didn’t get to be in his presence. He called himself a cab and let it take him to a hotel at the edge of town.
Finally, after locking the door and checking every possible place for microphones or cameras, he took out the piece of paper.
The bed creaked as he sat down on it. His hands were shaking as he held the piece of paper. It was small. It couldn’t say much. And yet his mind made him lists of what it could say. He steadied himself, breathed deeply and opened it.
Find me
It was his address...