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“Well, aren’t you cute?”
The fluffy grey cat meows back.
Phoenix crouches down to its height. He scritches the spot right behind its ear. Shockingly soft fur leans into the touch, trilling happily. Hm. Maybe its owner is one of his neighbors? It’s odd. He doesn’t seem to recall any of his neighbors owning cats. The cat doesn’t have any sort of collar or nametag.
Well.
This is not what he expected to come home to. What he did expect was to come home to a very prickly Edgeworth waiting at his door. They made plans to have dinner at Phoenix’s while they go over a case and Phoenix may or may not completely forgot and got caught up at the office… It’s not completely his fault!
Athena needed help, and one stack of papers became another and… yeah, okay, he forgot.
“Okay, cat, I gotta get up or my backs gonna kill me.” Phoenix carefully stretches back to his feet, careful not to lock his back. Man, my knees are not what they used to be. Based on the way the cat has seemingly been waiting at Phoenix’s doorstep for god knows how long, it doesn’t seem to be a stray. Not to mention its extremely well-groomed fur. Besides, it’s way too well mannered—
“W-woah! Easy!” Impatiently, the cat meows and winds itself between Phoenix’s legs, nearly tripping him over. “You’re real lucky cats are my favorite.”
It’d be even better if my other favorite were here.
Maybe he’s inside? Phoenix vaguely remembers giving him the spare key some years ago. It’s really not like him to not contact him at all. Usually, when Phoenix is running late like this, Edgeworth will call or text him. He checks his phone for the umpteenth time and frowns. Still nothing…
“Are you a stray Mr. KittyCat?” Did the cat just scoff? Never knew a cat could do such a thing. Such a prickly furball. No Edgeworth but an Edgeworth-like guest, apparently. “I guess that’s a no…”
Phoenix sighs. Trucy is gonna have a field day with this. “You better not mess up my apartment more than it already is.” He warns the cat uselessly. It simply meows back.
Why am I talking to a cat?
Hesitantly, Phoenix opens the door. Half expecting the cat to bolt in and knock off everything on every surface possible. Instead, it elegantly walks into the threshold like he pays the rent and sits there staring at Phoenix expectantly. Disbelievingly, Phoenix stares back. This cat needs a serious attitude check.
“Awe! Are we getting a cat?” Trucy coos from behind him.
“No,” Trucy dejectedly awes at this, “He was waiting outside the apartment. He’s… very adamant about being here.”
“Well he may not be temporary but we should give him a name.” Trucy starts pspspsing the cat who begrudgingly makes his way over.
“Ayup! There we go,” Trucy scoops the cat into her arms with barely any protest, ”You’re just adorable, huh?” The cat scrunches back as she boops his nose.
Trucy and the grey furball cradled in her arms have a staring match and suddenly Phoenix feels left out. Her face morphs into some kind of recognition before saying, “Huh… you kinda resemble Uncle Miles.”
Immediately, the cat meows back as if responding to that particular comment. Oddly enough, it seems pleased yet petrified.
Now that she says it… this cat does have some strong similarities to Edgeworth. It’s even got a bunch of white fur on its chest like Edgeworth's cravat. Distantly, Phoenix remembers all of Edgeworth's cat-like traits. Huh.
“We should call him Catworth!”
“H-huh? Trucy… I get the feeling he wouldn’t enjoy that name.”
Suddenly, as if on cue, the cat—or to say Catworth—starts squirming uncomfortably in Trucy's arms. Catworth successfully scrambles to the floor before attempting to run off. Before it can cause any more chaos, Phoenix catches the cat and holds it in his arms.
Wow. He’s even softer when I hold him like this…
“I don’t want you getting into anything so I’m gonna keep you right here, ah, Catworth.” A moment passes and the cat starts purring intensely. Catworth smooshes his face right against Phoenix’s before nuzzling into his neck.
“I think Mr. Catworth likes you, Daddy!”
I wonder if the real Edgeworth would get cuddly like this…
Agh! No, do not go that direction right now Phoenix. Those thoughts need to be contained in the very back of his mind with all his other non-platonic Edgeworth thoughts. But seriously, it really is like Edgeworth got turned into a super fluffy cuddly cat.
Phoenix bites into his, now cooked, frozen pizza and does not think about why Edgeworth hasn’t gotten back to him. He watches the The Great British Bake Off on his couch and does an excellent job of not thinking about it. Hell, he’s doing such a great job of letting it go that he hasn’t even thought of a jab comparing Edgeworth to the people on this show. Edgeworth will just have to take his semi British demeanour elsewhere ‘cause Phoenix isn’t thinking about it!
Phoenix takes another bite of his shabby pizza. He would’ve made something nicer. Like an easy pasta dish over some red wine. That’s if he had any guests to cater for. Anxiously, Phoenix checks his messages again. Which he clearly doesn’t have any guests! Except for Catworth, who’s walking impatient laps all over the living room after eating makeshift catfood. That cat seriously needs to relax.
Catworth has decidedly gotten tired of pacing around on the living room floor because he’s now rubbing himself all over Phoenix’s legs hanging off the couch. If Phoenix is being honest, this cat has a weird idea of zoomies.
Catworth meows a few times before hopping into Phoenix’s lap. It makes it’s home by kneading into his thighs and— ow, those claws hurt. Catworth is already purring like a motor engine but the purring impossibly kicks up another notch once Phoenix starts petting him. Finally he settles into Phoenix’s lap, looking like he’s exactly where he wants to be. Once again, Phoenix wonders if Edgeworth is similarly a cuddlebug before shutting it down.
“Do you know where Miles is Mr. Catworth?” The cat suddenly perks up its head. Weirdly enough, Phoenix notes that the cat has an odd reaction to that name. The purring spiked with the name “Miles.” Maybe, in some bizarre situation, this cat belongs to Edgeworth. It’s… unlikely to say the least. Phoenix realizes he keeps connecting everything back to Edgeworth.
“Ugh, why do I still get like this? I’m so hopeless when it comes to him.” Stupidly, Phoenix attempts to talk to the cat again knowing that it can’t understand him.
“I’ll never get over him, huh, Mr. Catworth? I mean, hell, I’m talking to a cat named after said childhood crush.” Frantically, the cat jumps as if eletrocuted and bolts down the hallway.
“H-Hey! Quit doing that!” Phoenix chases after and prays he doesn’t cartoonishly have a glass vase for the cat to knock over. Luckily, he finds the cat pawing at Phoenix’s closed bedroom door.
“You’ve been trying to get to my bedroom this whole time?” He opens the door for the cat to look inside, “Look, there’s nothing in here.”
Catworth walks in with a way too familiar sense of the surroundings. Almost as if the cat has been here before. Phoenix just stares as the cat makes its way to his nightstand. Seemingly it found what it was looking for and starts pawing at the magatama.
“The magatama…?” The cat (Phoenix can only assume is a nod) nods and meows in affirmation before jumping over to Phoenix’s desk. Catworth finds his laptop and Phoenix obliges and assumes to open the lid. Out of pure curiosity of what the cat will do next, he opens a blank word document for it.
What a weird cat…
Catworth fumbles and attempts to type a message with what his cat body will allow. Eventually the cat stops writing and Phoenix with no shortage of bewilderment reads the message, “im miles.”
“Oh boy…” Deep breath in Phoenix. A cat transformation is nothing compared to talking to you’re dead boss. “So, you’re Miles Edgeworth and you turned into a cat because of the magatama?”
The cat meows or Edgeworth meows? Who even knows????
“I need to call Maya.”
“Okay… well, good news, you should be able to just sleep it off. I’m not sure how this happened but I’m sure you’ll explain it to me later” Thank god this isn’t permanent. Phoenix isn’t sure he could handle the one he loves being a cat forever.
Maya couldn’t give him too much information but her best bet is that the magatama was overcharged and Edgeworth came into contact with it. Since Edgeworth isn’t exactly acclimatized to the magatama, any effects are multiplied tenfold.
Edgeworth has found his place perched on his bed while he was in the other room calling Maya. “Uhm, I guess you can sleep wherever is most comfortable. I’m gonna go to sleep myself so I’ll see you in the morning, hopefully?” Phoenix awkwardly pats him on the head.
I feel weird petting him now that I know he’s Edgeworth…
Phoenix slips under the covers. Before easing into unconsciousness, Phoenix feels 4 paws crawling on his chest. He opens his eyes and is met with a very happy-looking Catworth looking straight at him. Purring rumbles through his chest. He begins to knead his paws. Phoenix winces when the claws dig into his sleep shirt.
“O-Okay not too much now. That hurts.” Catworth finally settles and curls into a happy, sleepy ball. His head nuzzles into the crook of Phoenix’s neck. It feels like a warm, fluffy bowling ball sitting on his chest. Phoenix sighs and submits to his fate.
Miles slowly wakes and mourns the lost of the best sleep of his life. Everything feels warm and comforting… but he’s not in his silk pajamas. These blankets aren’t his. This certainly doesn’t feel like his pillow either.
“Mmng, Miles?” A low rumble from underneath him sounds, and everything locks into place. Phoenix continues to absentmindedly pet the top of Miles’ head. Much to Miles’ dismay, that feels… extremely comforting. “Your fur is so soft…”
Oh god.
“Ack!” Like a spooked cat, Miles immediately shoots up hitting Phoenix in the process, unraveling himself from Phoenix’s intoxicatingly warm embrace. “Oh you’re back.”
His embrace somehow feels even better when I’m not a cat…
Nngh! No! Bad, Miles! Don’t think about that right now. You need to get a hold of yourself and apologize for putting him in such a position.
Phoenix sits up and gives Miles a worrying look, “You good? You look like you’re having a mental crisis…”
“I-I must apologize profusely, Wright, I— I didn’t intend to—“
“Hey, it’s all good. I’m sure it was just your cat instincts kicking in.” Phoenix rests his hand on Miles’ back. It doesn’t help that it’s mimicking the sensation of being pet like a cat. “…Who knew you’re such a cuddly cat?”
An immense flood of shame washes over him and he forced his head into his hands, “Nngh! I’ll never forget the shame of this day!” Miles muffles his anguish into his palms.
“Do you know how it happened?”
“I assume it was to do with that magical rock. It must triggered some incomprehensible transformation since I’ve been in increasingly close proximity to it.” All Miles knows is that he never has and never will trust that hallucinogenic rock.
“Sounds like some bizarre excuse in a fanfiction.”
Miles nearly chokes on his own spit.
“How do you even know what that is?” Though, Miles must admit there’s been similar tropes in Steel Samurai fanfiction. Not that he’s read any of those.
He shrugs noncommittally as if he hasn’t just said something insane for a man of his caliber, “I have a teenage daughter I ought to learn something. And I’ve also learned some things in my Tumblr days.”
Miles stares down at lap and wills himself to swallow the lump in his throat, “About what you said last night…”
“Ah. I was hoping you’d forget that.” Phoenix has the look of a man who would rather talk about any other topic. Miles bites his lip and trudges on.
“Did you mean it?”
He hesitates for a beat and then looks to Miles, “I did.”
Before Phoenix can overthink it, Miles smiles softly. A genuine smile and not one of his snarky ones from court, “I’m hopeless when it comes to you as well.”
“Oh. Wow. Hold on.”
Phoenix lets out a small noise of pain that whips Miles head back to him.
“What are you doing?” The unbelievable man is pinching himself. For some bizarre reason, this fills Miles chest with sappy warmth that tugs on his heart strings.
“I had to make sure I wasn’t dreaming! Oh my god, Miles, I could just kiss you!” He’s grinning so brightly he truly does look like a kid on Christmas morning.
“Mmph—“ was all Miles managed before Phoenix’s insistent mouth is right on his. There was no heat or rushing behind it. It was slow and familiar. As if they were picking up where they last left off.
Phoenix pulls back and cups Miles head like he’s holding a precious treasure, “Hey, Miles.” He has that stupid smirk when he’s about to say something stupid.
Miles hesitates before diving head in. This is what he signed up for when he fell in love with this bumbling idiot. He wouldn’t have it any other way.
“… What is it now?”
“Meow.”