Chapter Text
Grace
I stared at the shattered screen blankly. This was really it. All of Rocky's things were packed away in my ship. We had to leave his behind. I'm going to miss that thing, even if I did only see it up close once. All our fuel is accounted for and sterile, no sign of a taumoeba infection. All ship systems were nominal. Even thought we were drifting in zero g, there was a certain weight to plugging in Erid coordinates. I was committing. I was bringing Rocky home.
I guess I already committed, in a sense, by sending off the Beetles. By finding Rocky at all, months after we parted ways. I really hadn't expected to hear his trills again. I was only hoping. I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't try to come back for him, not after everything. Not after he risked his own life for mine. Not after coming so close to a solution for his whole planet. Not after just— knowing him. But it still felt like a whole other beast committing to a new life. Or a new death.
Rocky promised he and the whole of Erid would take care of me. I don't know how much I trust that. I believe that he believes that. I shudder to think how Earth would treat Rocky. They'd probably vivisect him before he had a chance to introduce himself. I know I sure as heck wouldn't have any say about it. Even if Erid had good intentions, I was still putting my life in the hands of aliens. They didn't know humans, about how they work. They were smart sure, but maybe it wasn't enough. They might make some fatal error and kill me by accident. I might kill myself by accident, trying to figure out how to live on Erid. Twice the gravity and 28 times the air pressure with ammonia? How can we make that livable, and reliably so? Am I going to be condemned to this ship for the rest of my life? Orbiting Erid from a distance, never having the chance to touch ground? Not to even mention, there was the issue of food supply. My eyes were glazing over, coming to terms that no matter what, this ship was meant to be my grave.
I'll never touch anyone ever again. That simple fact pierced me. Ricocheting off the walls of my head to return at random intervals. It stung every time. The last time I was touched, I was being restrained. The last time I touched someone, I was carrying out a funeral.
"Grace ready to depart question?" A voice interrupts this spiral of dread. It's hum grounds me. I turn to face Rocky, who has likely been standing there for a while. He knows I'm not calculating anything. The computer does that all for me. He's worried.
"Yep! Just going through a mental checklist. I want to make sure we're not missing anything."
"Everything in order. Rocky check."
"Right" I smile stiffly. I wonder if he's really able to discern the micro expressions that play across my face. I finally plug in the route, and the ship calculates the proper acceleration, taking time dilation into account. 6 years for us. Another 10 years for everyone else. Everything checks out, and I'm ready to seal my fate.
A blast of light flashes through the window in the control room, and the ship lights flicker for just a moment. A brief wave of panic floods through my body. What the heck was that? Rocky is oblivious to this interruption.
The proximity alert blares rapidly. "Blip-E at 10 meters" What? I free myself from the chair restraints, and press myself into the glass of the window. Rocky perks up and grabs his light sensor, pointing it frantically.
"What happen question?"
"I don't know!" I say sharply, with anxiety pricking every word. "The alert is supposed to warn me far before 10 meters, I'm not sure how something could sneak up on me like that!"
"What Blip question?" Rocky pressed further, also trying his best to poke his light receptor to the window and the screens in the cockpit.
I look back at the screen and the window myself, evaluating, searching. I don't see anything. How could I? We were too far out from Tau Ceti for the taulight to illuminate much of anything. Glancing back at the screen, I saw the Blip had hardly moved at all, and by the looks of it, it was quite small. I let myself relax a little, and get curious instead.
It was approaching very, very slowly. If at all. Maybe about few centimeters per second. And it was only about one foot across. Man. I hate intermixing imperial and metric. "It doesn't seem like a threat a all."
Rocky let his carapace settle, lowering his light receptor. "Grace and Rocky leave now, question?"
"Yeah I just-" Curiosity was overtaking me. What was that energy surge? How did something sneak up on the proximity alert? The object was likely approaching well before that surge happened. It was eating me up. I couldn't just leave. I also needed something to preoccupy me as I went on the longest road trip of my life. This could just be an average space rock that somehow passes through an electrical glitch. Or it could be a really cool space rock that could blow up my ship."I'm going to grab it."
"Grace EVA why question? No need! Item not a threat, not important."
"Can I just do this? I'll keep it sterile. It's just strange. I want to find out more." I was already drifting towards the airlock calling out to Rocky as I did.
"Rocky think bad idea. Unnecessary risk. We have astrophage solution. We go fix Erid."
Did I ever explain boredom to him? I was already in my suit. "Too late. I need to know what this is." I had assembled a few tools to investigate in the vacuum of space. I had an extra flashlight, a wrench, way too many tethers, and a plastic bag. It was time for some expert science. If Rocky could roll his eyes, I'm sure he would be doing just that right now.
"Humans crazy. EVA for any reason. Stupid."
"I need something to think about. Human thing." I stated, without room for conjecture. I hoped he would accept that. The airlock hissed out all the oxygen, and I peered out into the dark dotted by distant hot stars. I would never get over how insane this felt. The total lack of up and down was such a foreign concept, it broke my brain every time I tried to understand it. Looking into the abyss I felt like I was going to fall, even though I'd done this many times before. The ingrained fear of heights was an insane hard-wiring that I would never overcome. To be fair, I'd been under gravity during my EVAs more often than not. I pressed my eyes closed and took a breath to shake myself into action. I scanned in the direction the computer said the Blip-E was, using both my flashlight and my helmet light.
"Object visible question? Very small. Hard to see." Rocky's voice buzzed over the suit's radio.
"I’m not seeing anything— Oh!" I spotted it! A stark reflection in the darkness. It wasn't a space rock, that was for sure. I paused a moment to let that realization wash over me. "Rock, this is really really interesting." It looked like a cylinder mostly, cobbled together and welded in odd places. There wasn't any visible opening. It had some attachments and extrusions at various places. It had a frightening looking metal braces protruding from the front in a cage like structure, reminding me a bit like ribs. It had braces that connected to two more cylinders, and it was covered in a splotchy residue. "This looks like it was made by something intelligent." I was still hanging on to the Hail Mary, staring at the object, in awe. I debated if I should try and jump after it. I decided against that, lest I fumble and knock it in the opposite direction. It would be incredibly hard to maneuver the ship around it without burning it up. And I am still not that great of a pilot. I couldn't lose a mysterious alien artifact because of impatience.
"Intelligent question? What is it question?"
"Oh so now you're interested!" I spit back, with a sarcastic lilt. The object was a decent ways away, but it looked like it would come into contact with the ship soon. In the time it took me to make up my mind and get out here, it had already closed half the distance. It moved slowly, but it was a short distance. I resolved to wait, and situate myself to receive the object. I plug along, latching my tether to the rails, and keep my eyes on the prize. In that time, the gears in my head kept turning and turning. What could that be? A stray alien message? An interstellar probe like our Voyager II? Debris? A real bomb? Who knows. I would, in about 2 more minutes.
It was amazing that I still felt that rush of excitement about discovering alien life, even if I'd done it at least 3 times already. I hope Rocky felt the same way.
The object was finally within grabbing distance. I reached out and gingerly accepted it. I really hoped it wasn't a bomb. The residue was red and flaked off like paint. I noticed it had a closed up circular port at the front. I needed to try something before I brought it on board for further investigation. I tied one of my spare tether around it very carefully. Sturdy enough not to lose it, but loose enough not to damage it. I prided myself on my work. It was very very difficult to be so delicate with these thick EVA gloves. I then did something very scientific. I tied my wrench to another tether. I lightly pitched the object upwards took some steps back myself, and… I threw the wrench at the object. Not too hard, just enough to let me know bumping it wouldn't mean an explosion. I breathed a sigh of relief when absolutely nothing happened. I pulled the tethers back to me, and unfurled the plastic bag. I tucked the object inside, and headed back for the airlock. After being assaulted with ammonia the last time I picked up an alien object, I wasn't exactly willing to test my luck with this one.
The airlock hissed back in with oxygen, and the plastic bag had wrapped around the object in a vacuum seal. I immediately floated over to the lab for a Geiger counter. That was my first concern. I did not want to be bombarded with deadly radiation after making the biggest decision of my life to avoid it. I held up the detector like I was approaching a fire, and I was relieved to hear absolutely nothing. Rocky gently climbed in from the cockpit area to investigate. He was clicking all over the place.
"This is it! Weird right?"
"Very strange. Not see any space debris similar before"
"Can you actually see inside of it before I crack into it?" I held the object right up to the barrier, helping him get a better look.
"Yes. Hollow, with piping inside. Much liquid. There are some extrusions. And there is something.. moving"
I let the object slip from my grasp in surprise, but it's still suspended in the zero gravity. "What?"
"I hear rhythmic beats, organic, from a soft object."
I'm not sure how, but my stomach drops. I feel myself nearly pulled to the ground. "What does that mean?"
"Rocky not know."
My mind flickers between a million scenarios. How do I figure this out? Is it alive? Is it a bio-weapon? I have no idea what kind of atmosphere is inside this thing. I can't know until I pop it open. Should I open it in argon? Nitrogen? Oxygen? A vacuum? I fumble with the object and place it in the chemical hood. Nitrogen would be my best bet, but it killed the taumoeba instantly. Argon would be solid, but it would slowly suffocate me. Oxygen is great for me, but set Rocky on fire. A vacuum would just be blunt force trauma and instant blood boiling, depending on how high the pressure is inside. My options are instant death, spontaneous combustion, boiling blunt force trauma, and slow suffocation.
Argon it is. At least that will give me some time to figure out the atmosphere in the capsule itself.
"I'm going to open it , Rock."
"Grace be careful. Open in center to avoid pipe." He hummed lowly.
I put the appropriate tools in the hood, and closed it, and cycled the air. The colorless odorless gas filled the container. I took a breath of my oxygen outside the hood. I stuck my hands through the rubber gloves. I tried not to notice the slight shake that buzzed throughout my body. I tried not to feel like I was falling, fear pulling on every one of my organs. I tried to find a way to ground myself in the zero gravity. I was kidding myself. I was sweating bullets. I didn't have to do this at all. Why was I doing this? I hesitated a moment. Then something outside of my anxiety reached forward and grabbed the handheld disc saw, and pressed it to the center of the capsule. Curiosity had again taken over. I just hoped it wouldn't kill the cat. Or me.
I cut through the thin layer of plastic and the metal of the pod. Gas hissed out gently. At least it meant I was matching the pressure relatively well. Lucky guess. I tried to work fast. I cut a small square from the capsule, but I didn't look inside. I almost immediately patched it up with duct tape. I hope I just got a sample of the air in there. I reached out of the fume hood and turned on the gas detector. If I got anything other than argon, that would be the capsule's air. It felt like an eternity for it to come to a conclusion.
The LED screen read out, "CO2, O2, N"
I breathed a gigantic sigh of relief.
"What happen question?" Rocky insisted. I know he really wishes he could be closer to the human science. But I don't mind explaining things to him, it filled a familiar gap in my heart.
"The gas inside the canister, it's similar to mine, so it's easy to replicate!" I respond, a small smile threatening to come out as I say the words.
A sort of kinship rose in my chest. That's my atmosphere. I couldn't get exact percentages, here in the fume hood, of course. That mattered a lot, but it was a start. And I also had introduced a crap load of argon into the capsule. I had to continue to work fast.
I cycled out the argon in the fume hood, and replaced it with an Earth atmosphere air mix. I gave a little prayer, to no one in particular. Then, I finally peeled off the duct tape, and looked inside. I tilted the capsule back and forth, trying to view the inside. It had pipes. I couldn't see much beyond the giant globs of dark liquid. Was this the atmosphere? Was the oxygen just a fluke? Maybe it remained from opening the hood and not cycling out properly. I guess it didn't matter, if the life form had a proper way to breathe. If it was a life form at all.
I pulled myself closer, nearly pressing my face to the fume hood plexiglass. The liquid wasn't just dark, it was red, and with varying levels of viscosity. A chill ran up my spine. It looked like blood. I felt my own rushing out of my head. I was always a bit squeamish, and it was coming in full force right now. The blood (assumedly) sloshed around gently as I still tried to get a full proper view of this thing. I had still yet to find the source of that movement. My brows furrowed together, trying to piece together this odd arrangement of facts. In the mess of my thoughts, I didn't even hear a small sound that rustled out from the capsule. But what I did do, was see a tiny hand reach through the opening. My own hands reacted before I knew what I was doing.
I felt my entire body retreat, my hands curled up in surprise and pulled backwards. My back slammed into the counter behind me. This movement flung the whole capsule towards the plexiglass barrier where it bounced off with a harsh metal thud. Globs of blood spilled out of the container.
"What happen question?" Rocky trills in a high pitch, putting lots of effort into slamming his foot down. "Grace okay question?"
My breath hitched, and I blinked for just a moment. I told my body to relax, arching myself off of the counter. I threaded my fingers through my hair to clear my face, and readjusted my fallen glasses. My eyes were wide, and my jaw was completely slack. I approached the fume hood very slowly, pushing off and drifting at a quiet pace. I watched the fume hood carefully, and felt my chest fill with dread, and fascination. I pressed my face as close as I could to the barrier. Blood floated all around, and splattered and clung to some of the walls. In the midst of this terrible scene, was a familiar shape. Covered in slick red. His dark hair matted and his clothes were barely hanging together by it's seams. His skin was oddly textured, and his arm was frayed gruesomely.
I manage to push out a whisper. "It's human?"