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Ordinarily, it would be a drag to spend an entire long weekend stuck in a Fifth Avenue mansion.
Or so Jan thought as she puttered around the newly dubbed Avengers mansion. She should be out enjoying the summer sunshine, shopping on the boulevard and doing market research, or, better still, fighting crime, instead of being confined to the interior of the mansion. Even though Tony was an excellent host and provided an excellent selection of red wine.
Thor had promised that Loki’s spell that had turned Jan, Hank, and Captain America into vampires would wear off. Eventually. Maybe. He was mostly certain. He hoped.
Whatever. Jan could enjoy being mansion-bound as she lazed in the guest room’s king bed, watching movies on a large flatscreen television and taking long baths in the beautiful bathroom with the jacuzzi tub and unlimited supply of hot water. That almost made up for the time she spent covered in blood and dirt, with a torn costume as the cops hauled away her defeated criminal du jour.
Because of the Iron Man armor, Tony had managed to escape Loki’s spell. And Thor was apparently immune. She really should look into a mask if the Avengers were going to face these types of problems.
She had plans later to bug (hee hee) a grumpy Hank in his makeshift lab. He was not handling the whole vampire thing well. Tony’s negative comments about magic didn’t help Hank’s mood much since he was only saying things that Hank emphatically agreed with. And, well, she’d prefer to take Loki on by herself than spend an afternoon listening to both of them bitch and complain. But she needed to drag Hank out of his foul mood or he’d be completely useless until they were sprung from the spell and the mansion.
Captain America had commandeered the library as his domain. She should really call him Steve -- he’d asked them to do that -- but she and the rest of the team weren’t yet comfortable calling the legendary hero “just Steve.” The living legend was sitting in a leather pub chair reading yet another book from the immense stack nearby.
“Steve?” she ventured. “How’s it going?”
Steve smiled at her. Gosh, he was adorable, Jan thought, with his back-swept blond hair and little fangs. Though she could pass on the red eyes. Actually, she had not ever imagined Captain America would be adorable or handsome or attractive. She had pictured a serious dour WWII soldier instead of someone who could have walked off the cover of Super Hot Men Monthly. Tony had been gobsmacked when they thawed Steve from the ice. Even now, a couple of months later, Tony still stared at Steve in wonder.
“Good,” Steve said. “Catching up on my reading.”
Steve didn’t look so good though. If Jan didn’t know better, Steve looked washed out and a little shaky. “Reading is good,” she agreed. “Want to grab some blood?”
Tony had arranged for blood delivery for his vampire teammates from somewhere. They were bound to get hungry before the spell wore off. Jan treated the whole blood thing like she was living off Bloody Mary’s for the weekend. No biggie.
“Ah, no,” Steve said. “I’m in the middle of a good book.”
“Modern American History?” she said, reading the cover. “That doesn’t sound all that compelling.”
“I’m filling in the gaps. Tony suggested it.”
Tony had ordered a truckload of books to help Steve with his introduction to the 21st century. And Tony had given Steve the best room in the mansion -- the one with a small attached sitting room and a balcony. He was always around in case Steve might need something. Just being the thoughtful person that Tony was.
“Okay. Give me a call when you go for blood, in case you want company.”
Steve nodded. “Will do.”
At first, the Avengers, as Jan called them, were determined to keep their secret identities. Except for Steve -- his secret identity was blown when he woke up. After being cooped up in the mansion for a couple of hours, Jan had made them all cough up their real names. She wasn’t going to spend days being called Wasp by everyone, including Hank; it just wasn’t practical or neighborly. Besides, drinking blood in their pajamas made the whole secret identity thing silly.
Tony was making coffee in the kitchen. “Hey, Jan. Stopping in for a snack?”
“Yeah,” she said. She pulled a bag out of the special refrigerator and grabbed a cocktail glass. “I’m going to check in on Hank.”
“Have you seen Cap?”
“He’s in the library. Any news from Thor?”
“He’s hunting down Loki -- no ETA on that.”
“Oh, well,” Jan said with a shrug. “This is bound to wear off in a couple of days. Catch you later.”
She spent a couple hours poking and teasing Hank until he finally smiled. A few plasma cocktails, a few laughs, a couple of smooches and all was right in Jan’s world. Yawning, she got Hank to promise to join her upstairs in an hour. He thought he was close to a breakthrough on the whole vampire thing.
As she passed the library, she saw Tony and Steve deep in conversation. Steve looked a lot happier than he had earlier. They had to be talking about something funny since Steve had this dorky, lopsided smile on his face, flashing his fangs, and Tony was ducking his head and running a hand through his hair.
Nice that Steve and Tony were growing closer. Steve could use more friends. So could Tony, come to think of it.
~~~~~
The next day though Jan was ready to wring Steve’s stupid, stubborn neck. He wasn’t fine. Not at all. He was just being ridiculously polite about the whole blood thing. And it had nearly killed him.
She found him, passed out cold on the kitchen floor when she went down for her morning blood. “Steve! Come on, Steve, wake up.” She gently tapped his cheek.
“Jan? What’s wrong?” Tony asked as he walked in.
“It’s Steve. He won’t wake up.”
Tony rushed over and knelt down next to Steve. “Steve? Come on, buddy, wake up,” he urged, as he grasped Steve’s shoulder. “Wake up, please.”
“Tony? What-- where am I?” Steve asked as he slowly blinked awake.
“Did you have any blood today?” Tony asked.
“Don’t need it,” Steve mumbled.
Tony jumped to his feet. He flew around the cabinets grabbing glasses, straws and blood bags. “Steve, you eat like a horse regularly. You’re going to need blood just as much as food right now. Until Thor gets Loki to fix this.”
He put his arm around Steve’s shoulder and pressed a glass of blood with a straw into his hands. “Drink, Steve,” he ordered.
Steve sheepishly sipped the blood. The color came back into his face as he perked up. Tony thumped his back.
Jan said crossly, “Steve, you scared me. Don’t do that!”
“Sorry, Jan,” mumbled Steve. “The blood could be used by sick people --”
“Yeah, we get that, buddy, but right now you need it.” Tony kept his arm around Steve’s shoulders and Steve didn’t move away as Tony coaxed him to have more blood.
Jan wanted to say something, nag Steve until he swore to drink blood when he was hungry, anything to get it through his thick skull that he needed to look after himself. But Tony hovered protectively over Steve and Jan began to get the feeling that she was a third wheel. Even though she was standing in the Avengers kitchen with her teammates.
Well, it was Tony’s problem now if Steve was determined to be as stubborn as a mule about the whole vampire thing. She poured her extra bloody Bloody Mary in a large cocktail glass and went off to find Hank.
~~~~~
The Avengers’ self-imposed exile ended when they were called out to stop a string of burglaries and ended up facing off against the Black Knight. Jan had a blast-and-a-half. And the whole thing would have been terribly diverting except for Steve collapsing in the living room from hunger when they returned to the mansion. They fed him the last of the blood in the mansion, which kept him alive, barely.
Jan held Steve’s hand while Tony frantically searched through the mansion for more blood bags. Hank was calling up leads to find any free plasma. Breathless and still in the Iron Man armor, Tony jogged back into the living room. “How is he? Is Steve okay?”
Jan brushed Steve’s hair off his face. He looked like he was sleeping, not fading into a coma. Poor Steve -- he’d fought so hard to protect the team, especially Tony when he’d been knocked down mid-flight. “He’s breathing -- or what’s passing for breathing right now,” she said.
“I didn’t find any bags,” Tony said. “It’s all my fault -- I should have anticipated that this would happen. I should have put in a bigger order.”
“Nonsense, Tony. You did fine getting us the blood to begin with.”
Tony dropped to his knees next to her and Steve. He gently rubbed Steve’s arm. “Steve, wake up,” he urged. “Tell us you’re okay, please. Please be okay.”
Steve cracked an eye open. “Tony? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Steve. Can you sit up?”
“Maybe. I can try.” Steve rocked back and forth, looking for the energy to stand up.
“Tony, what are we going to do?” Jan asked. “Steve needs blood to recover.”
“No one has any to give us in the next hour. If Steve can hold out, I’m working a lead on a few bags,” Hank announced.
“Shoot.” Jan tried to help Steve at least sit up. Sitting up had to be better than lying down. No one goes into a coma when they’re sitting. Right?
“There is an option -- Steve drinks blood from one of us.”
Hank and Jan stared at Tony. “Um, Tony, I know that this is magic. But we all agreed to Not Do That in case the donor ends up a vampire too. Jan and I can’t give blood. Which means you. Damn, I hate magic.”
“I’ll do anything for Steve,” Tony declared. “He can’t bite me on the neck -- I have meetings at Stark Industries and I can’t risk that. And not my arms because I have that trip to the Bahamas coming up. I don’t want to answer questions all weekend about why I have bite marks.”
“That’s assuming you aren’t a vampire.”
“Hank, if we’re still vampires by the time Tony goes on vacation, we’ll all have bigger problems than Tony being a vampire too,” Jan pointed out.
Tony sat down in a chair and loosened the armor from his upper thigh. “Let’s try this.”
“I can’t,” Steve said. He wheezed while he slowly propped himself up in a sitting position.
“You have to -- there’s no other way -- we don’t know when the spell will be lifted or ever, assuming it’s a spell -- I can’t let you die if I can help.” Tony swung his leg toward Steve.
“It’s not -- that,” Steve protested.
“Come on, Steve,” Jan said. She pushed him towards Tony as best she could push a 220-pound superhero. Boy, Steve was one solid guy.
With Jan’s help, Steve scooted closer to Tony. He hesitated a minute and finally settled down between Tony’s legs. Tony helped him remove the cowl.
Steve closed his eyes, opened his mouth to reveal his little fangs and stopped an inch away from Tony’s thigh. “I can’t.”
“It’s okay, Steve,” Tony urged. “Go ahead.”
“This isn’t how I imagined this happening,” Steve blurted out.
Tony shook his head ruefully. “Me neither.”
Hank nudged Jan. “You know what this looks like, right?”
Jan tightly shook her head. Something was happening, something that she had seen glimpses of over the past couple months. Steve and Tony started laughing, even though Steve was really wheezing more than anything.
She heard Hank turn tail and beat feet out the living room. Only wild horses could drag her away right now. Why didn’t she see it earlier? Damnit, Van Dyne, she told herself, you need to be sharper at this.
Steve actually shot a flirty little smile at Tony. “Do you mean that, Tony?”
“Every word.”
Jan held her breath. She should push Steve to drink so he could survive. But here he was, flirting of all things with Tony, of all people. She watched, mesmerized.
“Greetings, friends, I have answers to resolve our dire circumstance!” Thor boomed from the hallway.
“Guess what, Thor’s here,” Hank announced, refusing to come back into the living room.
Tony gently put a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “We should go see what Thor has to say. If you can walk, that is.”
“Uh, no, I can barely move,” Steve admitted.
“Jan -- could you find out what Thor has to say?” Tony said. He got out of the chair and dropped to the floor to sit next to Steve. “And tell him Steve needs help too.”
Out in the hallway, Thor explained how he convinced Loki to reverse the spell before sun up. “That should be any minute now,” Jan exclaimed. Then she high-fived Hank. She was so ready to not be a vampire.
“What about our noble companions?” Thor asked. “Should they not be informed?”
“Um, yeah, about that,” Jan said. She peeked into the living room and got all the confirmation that she needed that she hadn't misinterpreted the vibes between Steve and Tony. “Steve needs real food as soon as possible.”
“We’re ordering tons of pizza,” Hank stated. “When we’re back to normal.”
“Let’s get to it.” Jan grabbed Hank’s arm and kissed his cheek. “We should tell the lovebirds.”
Hank dragged Thor to the kitchen to fix the vampire thing and to place the pizza order. Jan lingered behind trying to spy on Steve and Tony until Hank called her.
Maybe being a vampire for a day or too wasn’t such a bad thing after all.
badge by woad