Chapter Text
Eridian Thrums were no longer about me. Gosh wasn’t that nice to think about.
When I’d arrived on Erid every single meeting revolved around the Petrova line. I’d grown accustomed to that given my life pre-suicide mission, everything day in and day out had revolved around Astrophage, and I was happy to weigh in. Helping the Eridian scientists reverse the effects of a dimming star was thrilling, but it came with the caveat that all eyes (metaphorically) were on me. I could have handled it, I loved my work and was proud of it, but much of the discussions outside of the Petrova line were about keeping me alive.
After their sun was returning to its proper temperature I lived on the Hail Mary for a few months, circling the planet, bored out of my skull, while meeting with the top Eridian scientists over the radio to discuss plans for my accommodations.
My inner people-pleaser turned Eridian-pleaser was quick to tell everyone that I didn’t require much. Just a bed and a shower, and I’d be alright. Thank god for Rocky, otherwise I would have been given that and only that. The bio-dome was constructed as a recreation of my “don’t go crazy” room on the Hail Mary and gosh did I love it. But as wonderful as it was, there were issues.
So the thrums became about how exactly to keep me healthy and happy. The attention was on me at all times, and it made me squirm.
I felt a bit like an exotic plant gifted to a host with no experience in horticulture. They were trying their best to build me a home where I could thrive, but it was touch and go at best. Still I had expected to die pretty quickly after arrival, so this was best case scenario!
The problem was Eridians were fairly literal so I needed to be direct about my needs and that wasn’t my strong suit. It took me months to tell them that the coffee that had been so lovingly reverse engineered for me tasted like motor oil. I probably would have continued subtly dumping it into my toilet after Armando made it had Rocky not caught me when he arrived early one morning. That was an awkward admission.
So things were fixed gradually, and I learned to be okay with asking for what I wanted. I was starving for a bit, the health team helped produce “Me-Burgers”. I became vitamin deficient, the biologists worked out supplements. I was depressed, the bio-dome engineers began working on ways I could teach a class of pebbles. I was touch-starved, Adrian’s team got to work on something very special.
Two something’s actually.
Adrian was a genius. They really were.
Rocky came to me one morning after I was settled and happy with my students, and my meals, and ocean temperatures. We sat in the tiny stones of my beach, letting the water wash up to our feet and laughing about funny things my class had said. On the topic of children Rocky became a little more fidgety than normal until he finally came out with it.
< Adrian Rocky consider… pebbles, > Rocky told me happily.
I could have wept.
“Oh! Whoa! Rocky that’s huge!” I exclaimed, rubbing the top of his carapace.
I knew the biological process of course, it was covered in our extensive research on each other. Rocky and Adrian would lay ten eggs together, cover them, and they would slowly grow together into five little pebbles. Adorable!
< Grace will… help, question? > he continued a little nervously. < Third parent, question? >
Any words I might have had were sucked out of my lungs. I adored the both of them. They were my family. It felt most days like we were a happy little thrupple. But it had never been officially voiced. We went from enjoying each other’s company, to watching each other while we slept, to happy touches and scratches regularly. Our affection for one another was undeniable, and I loved every second of it. It felt more real than any relationship I’d ever had on earth.
“Yes…” I muttered, Rocky shifted slightly at my hesitation. “Y-yes!! Sorry I’m in shock. Of course I will!”
Rocky trilled excitedly and hugged me. I felt in that moment a wave of sadness roll over me. I couldn’t explain it… any of it. My friends had decided to raise a family. They were asking me to be a part of it. So why did I feel so… othered…?
The answer was obvious. I was the other. I was the outsider. I was the alien.
In an instant I realized just how much I missed my own kind. How I wished I could hug Rocky and Adrian and have them hug me back… a real hug.
< Happy tears, question? > Rocky asked slowly. I hadn’t realized I was crying.
“Yeah! Yes! S-sorry…” I wiped my eyes.
He watched me carefully for the next week. And it took that long just to get the truth out of me. I missed it, the feeling of the warmth and pressure of a human body against my own, what Rocky and Adrian could share with each other so easily.
And well… it wasn’t easy to say, especially because this conversation resulted in Rocky and Adrian put their family plans on hold, despite my protests. They brushed off my concern and got to work on something special for me. I felt terrible for derailing their goal but… well I had never felt more valued or considered in any kind of relationship in my life. And they wanted to do it for me.
I wouldn’t be a good “third parent” feeling as low as I did, and I think they knew it.
“Reverse engineered humans” is what Adrian called these two models. Adrian was so excited to tell me about their ideas, bring plans to me, and have me weigh in on human anatomy. Basically, Rocky would engineer the inside, making a skeletal structure from xenonite, and Adrian would be in charge of synthesizing proteins to create skin, organs, cartilage. The models’ hardwiring or “brains” would be connected to Rocky and Adrian, and their consciousness would be projected into the bodies, through those same crystals Rocky used to “hear” screens.
And similarly to Rocky’s device, I didn’t understand it. But I trusted them, and I was truthfully very excited to see if this was possible at all.
From an outside perspective the models were… maybe a little creepy. And definitely had the potential to become uncanny.
Adrian thought of that too. They hired a team of the best artists on the planet and the three of us sat with them in long meetings to discuss what the models should look like. Rocky and Adrian customized their own bodies with so much joy. I was just there to offer my opinion on what was normal for other human beings.
I was giddy during these meetings. I couldn’t believe it… I was going to get to hold my friends and feel pressure against my body from another human being again.
One Eridian on the artist team came to me many times in my dome on his own to work out details with him. He was in between Rocky and Adrian in size with rippling red opals across his carapace. He called himself Mercy as a human name because he said it was similar in meaning to the word “grace”. I was flattered, but it was a little much. I was also a little uncomfortable when he began referring to me as “Provider Grace”, but that was a growing trend in small clusters of Eridians.
For obvious reasons I didn’t like this title at all. It had all the potential to turn into a cult had I been a worse person. But he was a great artist, and did so much to help turn Rocky and Adrian’s human likeness into something they really felt connected to.
They picked voices first. Rocky’s voice was the same that we’d chosen at Tau Ceti years ago, Adrian chose the voice that sounded like Merrill Streep, but when they spoke it came out deeper and gruffer. Still just as elegant though.
I knew them in this form, even though they were totally new people to me, floating in two large pools in a locked room at the entrance my bio-dome… especially Rocky. His squared off jaw, the gentle slope of his nose, his soft hazel eyes, his dark coiffed hair with streaks of silver at the front, even the familiar marks of his family crest, the mating tattoo he and Adrian shared, and mission inscription on his inner arms, he was perfect. Exactly as I would have pictured him if he were a human.
Adrian was just as good. They’d given themselves white blond hair with a gorgeous undercut, a larger Roman nose, striking jade green eyes, and a soft but strong figure that was taller than Rocky’s by a good four inches. I had always gotten the feeling that Rocky really loved their size difference.
In a combination of Eridian and Earth technology we had taken much of the devices used by the Hail Mary to assist in coma treatment and repurposed them for the human models. The same electrodes that had been on me now kept their muscles from atrophying when their bodies were unused for long periods of time.
Which was a fancy explanation for the raw truth of the matter: my friends were hot. Toned and strong with jaw dropping features and the confidence of someone who never had to go through an awkward adolescence in a human body. What a striking pair they would have been if I’d seen them on Earth…
They’d also had a lot of fun with their… gender configurations. With Rocky choosing more commonly male parts and Adrian not giving a frick and choosing both male and female parts, and so excitedly I should add.
< Rock pick this male design. Like Grace. > Rocky said pointing at the screen with the anatomy drawings displayed.
“Yeah, your typical cis male design, I’ve got nothing to compare it to but I like it,” I smiled.
< Good good. >
< Adrian choose both. And these for top. Is wrong? > Adrian asked, though their energy told me that they wouldn’t have cared even if I told them otherwise. And not that it mattered but seeing as Eridians were intersex this decision made even more sense than Rocky’s choice.
“Not at all! Lots of humans have lots of presentations. Pick what makes you happy.”
They hummed and rocked back and forth hydraulically, Rocky trilled and pressed himself to his mate’s side while stamping his feet happily.
There were flaws to work out in the design, as with any new piece of technology or scientific advancement, but the first time I saw the two of them at my door I wept. And now a year on I could honestly say there was nothing more perfect than falling asleep on the couch with Rocky next to me while Adrian kept watch. I could feel Rocky’s warmth against my right side, with Adrian on my left, their arm around my shoulders and deft fingers carding through Rocky’s hair.
This was heaven.
I had everything I needed and wanted. A class of happy students, a beautiful place to call home, and two incredible friends who were finally back on track planning to expand their family.
Heaven made so much better by the fact that Thrums were no longer about me and what I needed. I could just exist in my little bio-dome.
That was until Rocky showed up one morning to inform me of the bad news.
—
“Grace popularity has Thrum concerned,” Rocky told me at the front door one unremarkable morning.
He was about an inch taller than me as a human, and fidgeted with his fingers constantly. I’d found it cute as an Eridian, downright adorable as a human, that he had so much energy. His brain was always working so fast and was often overwhelmed with new senses too, so the stimming he did to combat it was heartwarmingly human.
I rubbed my eyes, he was two hours earlier than he usually showed up and I hadn’t had coffee yet.
“Is this about the whole ‘Provider Grace’ thing? Because you know I’m not involved in any of that.” I said, a little bitterly.
I had even less information than other Eridians on why this strange cult that was forming. I tried to keep my nose out of it, just focus on my own business now that Erid was saved, after all I had students to teach, newly translated Eridian times to read, and friends to plan game nights for. What a charmed life I was leading. But I supposed I understood how something like this would come about. On paper I was a strange creature from another world that brought salvation to Erid.
All of the scientifically minded Eridians could understand that I wasn’t anything special, heck, even those who weren’t top of their field knew that. Just a man who was in the right place at the right time with the right motivation to be brave. But this growing faction of religious Eridians seemed to be unconvinced by logic.
“Rocky know. When Grace even have time to lead cult, question?” he said with a little giggle. “Thrum still worried.”
“Well… should I go with you?” I grumbled, folding my arms. It really was a ridiculous accusation, and I had test tablets to grade before the summer holiday. I referred to as their “bright season”, sort of like a rainy or dry season. The planet heated and got brighter so school would be postponed for a few weeks for Eridians to vacation in the warm weather. Not that I knew the difference in my temperature and light controlled bio-dome.
It was actually fascinating as an outsider with eyeballs that detected wavelengths of light. Erid’s atmosphere was dense, and dark because of it. Imagine descending into the ocean, at first the sunlight above would provide you with some visual information, but as you got farther down you’d be plunged into darkness. However there was about a month every year where the planet was closer to its star, and I could actually see Erid! Well… sort of.
It was still incredibly dim, but if I shut all the screens and lights off in the dome I could see through the windows to the outside world. It was like being on Blip-A again. Absolutely breathtaking.
I looked at Rocky again, who seemed to be considering the offer of me joining him to the Thrum. It wasn’t the bright season yet, so it really would be me sitting in the dark with a little head lamp for hours listening to the hum of the most intelligent minds on the planet think.
“No Grace not need to come,” Rocky said with a shrug. “Rocky enjoy more if Grace come, but boring for Grace.”
“Are you sure?” Now I felt a little bad that I was sending him off to do something so dull without me when it was my fault in the first place.
“Yes yes. Thrum say ‘Grace run cult?’ And Rocky say ‘Grace not know how to tell anyone what to do’. Five Earth minutes, maximum.”
“I’m a teacher you know. I give instruction every day,” I muttered.
“Oh, lRocky tell Thrum Grace run cult then?” he teased.
“No!” I laughed. “You’re right just stick to the first one. It’s not a lie I guess.”
He smiled and adjusted his black framed glasses. He didn’t need them, he just liked the aesthetic, but to be fair he didn’t need a human body either and he had that.
“Adrian come too. Better at talking.” I knew public speaking was something he was more than willing to let his mate take control of. Adrian was stoic, but sharp and wouldn’t let anyone say a bad word against me now that we had bonded so closely. Level headed at all times.
In fact they rarely emoted at all even in a human body. Now that Rocky had the ability to cry he was surprised to see just how much he leaked. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised, he was emotional even before he had tear ducts. Crying was most common from me, but Rocky was close behind, and Adrian rarely even smiled. Occasional excitement or rage over a board game but I hadn’t seen them cry. Not once.
“Need travel. One day. Grace okay alone?” Rocky asked.
“Yeah I’m not a dog, Rocky, I can let myself out to use the bathroom.”
“Ugh! I make inside bathroom! Use bathroom inside!” he said with a soft stamp of his foot.
“I’m joking Rock. I’ll be fine. I’ll just grade papers and-…” my attention snagged on movement near the edge of the dome. “He’s back.”
Rocky turned.
“Mmm, Mercy, question?” he replied softly.
Mercy was the Eridian artist who had helped with the design of Rocky and Adrian’s bodies, he was one of the Eridians that called me “Provider Grace” but aside from that he seemed normal enough. I guess I hadn’t exactly told him to stop, I just politely ignored it. I made a mental note to correct him later.
Mercy saw us watching him and raised a claw in a hello before walking over. He was large, just a little smaller than Eridian Adrian, and his movements seemed exceptionally considered. But perhaps that was just how he needed to walk in the rocky beach sand.
< Provider Grace > he hummed, reaching us and bowing toward me. I squirmed. < Rocky. >
“Hmm” was Rocky’s only reply. I got the feeling they didn’t like each other, but I’d never asked.
“Um. Yeah. You don’t need to call me that, Mercy,” I said wringing my hands.
< Is Provider Grace’s title. Status. > Mercy responded calmly.
Rocky folded his arms, “Grace say stop. Respect Grace ‘no’, warning. Why here, question?”
Mercy bristled at Rocky’s “warning”. This was… uncomfortable at best.
< Apology > he said, bowing again. < Mercy came check on P-… Grace. Rocky leave to meet with Thrum. Want make sure Grace not lonely. >
It wasn’t unusual for scientists, engineers, and artists who had worked in the bio-dome or the human models to stop by every now and then. I had even become friends with quite a few of them. Rocky had floated out the idea of security once or twice but I told him no. Truthfully it would have made me feel like a prisoner.
That wasn’t to say anyone could just walk in, but if you had a pass from working here in the past I was happy to play host. Like a teacher leaving their door open at lunch just in case anyone wanted to stop by.
Mercy had me regretting this policy. He was here at least once a week, maybe more, and he wanted to know everything about me. It was even worse than Rocky moving in to the Hail Mary.
“Oh… thanks but I’m okay Mercy. Really.”
“Mercy know about Grace cult, question?” Rocky said, he didn’t do subtlety well. Sometimes he came off as downright hostile.
< Mercy know > he confirmed < Good cause. Reward Grace for hard work. Try understand other world powers. >
“🎶🎵🎶?!” Rocky said.
“P-power?!” I gawked. “Whoa whoa, slow down, Mercy, I’m not… like some kind of divine being. I don’t have powers. I’m just a person.”
< Provider Grace protect Erid. Strong, smart, love Erid. Erid want return favor. >
Rocky looked like he wanted to punt him.
“Favor returned,” I said quickly. “Mercy, look at my home. I’m very grateful. Eternally grateful! You don’t need to do anything else for me.”
< But- >
“Mercy not visit Grace,” Rocky said plainly.
“I think what he means is, you should take a break.”
“Rocky say what Rocky mean,” Rocky protested overtop of me, but I kept going.
“It’s not healthy to get this obsessed. Especially over me! And those groups could be dangerous okay? Stay away from them.”
Mercy pushed himself back and forth just… staring at me. It was often times unsettling to see an Eridian looking at me with no visible indication of what they were thinking. I could read Rocky after years of close contact, but I even reading Adrian gave me pause occasionally, so looking at Mercy I really had no idea what was going on.
< 🎶🎶🎵 > Mercy said, directed at Rocky.
There were a number of Eridian dialects I was unfamiliar with. I was learning as fast as I could and making great progress, but Mercy’s trill was too quick for me to catch.
“🎶” Rocky hummed definitely.
Mercy bowed at me before turning back the way he came. I wondered what had just been exchanged, I should have asked, but Rocky spoke before I could.
“Weirdo, statement,” he said sourly, but he was smiling by the time he looked back at me.
I smirked, he was over that fast. I’d ask about the dialect later.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked.
I suddenly felt his fidgeting fingers against my hand and I moved my pinkie finger to brush against his. My heart lurched in my chest at the contact, it always did. I’d have to examine that at some point.
“Tomorrow or sooner. Rocky see Grace maybe tonight, statement. Goodbye ‘Provider Grace’,” he teased. I chuckled and pushed him a little bit.
He walked away down the beach after that, looking back one more time to wave as he reached the edge of the dome.