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It didn’t feel real. The soft wind, the slight chill of the evening, his hand shielded from it by another holding it in a warm embrace. Dozens of lights danced beneath their feet, a city that never slept, but for all Ryland was concerned, it might as well be deep in the R.E.M phase.
It was so quiet…
Tony stood next to him, leaning against the railing with a smile on his face. His eyes reflected the one lamp on the roof making the light dance playfully on his brown irises. With the night sky behind him his dark hair seemed almost invisible. The breathtaking view didn’t make any impression on him, he didn’t even glance at the sea of skyscrapers. All of his attention was on Ryland.
It was weird being this close with somebody. He never thought anyone would want to be. Yet here he was, holding hands with Tony Stark of all people. Crazy. Cool, but absolutely insane.
Before they’d met, Ryland wouldn’t even think about sneaking onto the roof of a hotel at midnight, but something about being with Tony broke through all the norms and conventions he tried (and mostly failed) to upkeep.
“You know what could be fun.” Tony had said as they walked down the long corridor of the science center. “Playing UNO. At the top of the building.”
“Like on the roof?” Ryland asked.
They were there for a competition, one of dozens they took part in. In the first year of college, Ryland was there to prove himself. He ran into the only other teen a few times, but the idea of introducing himself almost gave him a heart attack. Tony didn’t have such problems. One thing led to another and now the competitions were just an excuse to spend some time together. They were fun on their own, but it’s been at least a year since they’ve been a priority.
“Exactly like that.” Tony smirked.
All he wanted was to point out all the possible ways it could go wrong and list all the risks involved, but Tony took his hand making sure to block the view of the gesture with his body. There wasn’t anyone else around, but you could never be too cautious. Nobody knew just how close they were and both of them decided it was better for it to stay this way.
The first time Tony held his hand was accidental. They had reached for the handle of the door to the science lab at the same time, Tony’s hand landing on Ryland’s. For the first time in what felt like forever his hand had warmed up, even if only for a moment before they realised what had happened and let go of the handle. The next time they saw each other, Ryland shyly asked if they could do it more often. Now, they held hands almost all the time.
The touch was hypnotising. Ryland’s hands were always cold, no matter which season it was. It could be winter or summer and his hands would feel freezing all the same. Tony was well aware of that fact, so of course he used it as an argument. And damn it, it was working. Ryland couldn’t find it in himself to argue.
And so, once all the students went to their rooms to sleep or party (mostly party), Ryland sneaked out of his room and made his way to Tony’s. He softly knocked four times, every knock spaced out by exactly three seconds. Their very own code to recognize who was on the other side of the door.
They got to the starway to the roof, opening the door with a universal key Tony got his hands on the first day they got here. It took some time to get to the top, but as soon as Ryland stepped outside it became clear it had been worth it.
Now, they’ve been standing there for at least ten minutes taking in the view. Well, Ryland was taking in the view. Tony had his back to the city.
“It’s pretty amazing, isn’t it?” He said. Ryland guessed he probably had the view pretty much memorised by now with the amount of tall buildings he visited regularly to meet up with higher ups who liked to show their position with offices on the highest possible floors.
“It’s beautiful. I love it.”
Had he been with anyone else, this would’ve turned into a moment of quiet, comfortable silence. A perfect time for some introspection, maybe about how lucky he was to be here right now and other such things. It would be a minute to get lost in thought.
Instead, Tony crossed his arms and grinned in victory. “I told you New York is better than San Francisco.”
Ryland wouldn’t have it any other way.
“I never said that.” He argued playfully. “I just said it’s pretty, plenty of cities are pretty. Have you been to Prague?”
“You know I’ve been to Prague.” If they didn’t know each other so well, Ryland would have thought Tony looked offended. “New York’s still better though.”
“There’s not nearly enough fog.”
“I can make fog!” Tony offered. “Plenty of it! I can vaporize all the water from the river if you want.”
He shook his head. “That’s cheating!”
“I’m just saying, if fog is the only thing keeping you on the west coast I can do something about it.” Tony pulled away from the railing letting go of Ryland’s hand and took out the stack of cards he hid in one of his pockets. “Anyway, UNO?”
Playing UNO with only two players probably didn’t give the most fun the game had to offer, but who cared? It was an excuse, something to do with hands while talking. Besides, it wasn’t about the game itself, but the people you played it with. A game of UNO could be one of the most intimate activities. It was one of the only things that could show the deepest human instincts. That’s how you judge character. By how they react to a +4.
Tony took the cards out of the box and immediately tried to pass them to Ryland.
“I’m not shuffling, no way.” He refused to take the stack from Tony’s outstretched hand.
Tony waved his free hand in protest. “You always complained about them not being shuffled right. I’m giving you a chance to do it better.”
“I’ll just end up dropping all of them…” Ryland sighed but took the cards. He could see Tony’s smirk and he knew the other was waiting for just that. Well, he wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction. He divided the cards into four smaller and much more manageable piles. Now they were much easier to shuffle.
He still ended up dropping a few cards.
Whatever. At least they were shuffled properly, he thought while putting them back together into one big stack. He could hear Tony trying and failing to muffle his laughter.
“I don’t have good coordination and you know it.” Ryland glared at his probably-maybe-boyfriend. They never really specified it, but it was clear they were more than friends. “And shuffling is hard”
To his credit, Tony did try to calm it down. “Sorry, sorry! It’s just, who decided your last name should be ‘Grace’.” He let out one last laugh.
“I don’t know, but I think they personally hate me.”
They took seven cards each and the game began. They didn’t bother to establish who should go first, Tony just put a blue six on a blue seven and that was it. The game went as it usually did, a calm beginning before putting all of the wild cards to use at the same time.
It was fun. They played through the whole deck at least two times, had some screaming matches over +4’s using new creative insults (it was an ongoing game they had, trying to see who could come up with the best unconventional way to curse someone out) and some breakdowns over losing (they both had a bit of an ego and it extended to games of chance). By the time they got bored the moon was high in the sky.
“I wish we could sleep here.” Ryland said.
They were lying down on the roof trying to look at the stars. It was almost a game of its own with how polluted, both with light and fumes, New York City was.
“We can.” Tony said. “Getting caught would be the problem if I didn’t have my irresistible charm. We’ll be fine.”
Ryland was pretty sure the charm was just money, but he kept the thought to himself. He could let his maybe-boyfriend dream. Wait. This could be a great moment to get that sorted.
It’s been a while since he’s been scared to talk to Tony about something. Ever since their first conversation it came naturally, like something he just did and not like the remarkable feat it seemed to be before. But talking about normal, day to day stuff was different from straight up asking if they were together. How was he supposed to even frame it? Hey, are you my boyfriend? I’m not sure if I read our relationship correctly… Nope, that’s weird. He was not saying that.
“I can hear your brain from here.” Tony said. “What’s on your mind?”
He always read Ryland like an open book.
He could try and make something up. There were dozens of excuses floating around his brain, but he didn’t really want to use any of them. It just didn’t feel right. He had the chance to ask and he should take it. Just this once, it might be worth it to be brave.
“Nothing… It’s just- What are we?” He asked before he had the chance to second guess himself again. His eyes were focused on the sky trying to pinpoint constellations even if only to have something other than the conversation to focus on.
“What do you mean?” He heard Tony ask.
“Like, are we friends or… something more?” He almost chickened out in the middle of the sentence. Lucky for him, stress always made him talk excessively as if getting the thoughts out of his brain would make them disappear. “I mean, if you want to be friends that’s fine, but if you want to be like boyfriends or best friends that’s fine too! Everything’s fine for me!”
He could hear his voice gain a slightly panicky edge, but once he started vomiting words he just couldn’t stop. “It just seems like we’re something more? I could be wrong! You can ignore me if I’m wrong and can we not talk about this ever again? I’m so sorry, oh god why did I just say that…”
Tony chuckled. “You’re a mess, you know that?”
“Shut up..” Ryland blushed. “But seriously, I need to know and I’m bad with context cues and I don’t want this to ruin our friendship-”
Suddenly his hand was squeezed by another. He broke his staring contest with the stars and instead focused on their joined hands. It calmed his panic somewhat. That was just the effect the gesture had for him, it eased him as if the stress somehow flowed out of him through the warmth of Tony’s hand. He squeezed back as hard as he could, trying to relax into the other’s touch.
“If you want, I can take you on a date.” Tony said. Their eyes met. “We could go get some coffee at that cafe you really like, maybe get ice cream if we’re feeling crazy. We don’t have to do it all at once. We can just try it out. And you’ll have to let me pay, because I’m the one taking you out. No excuses this time!”
Ryland smiled. “That sounds nice…” He’d find a way to pay him back either way. “Does that mean we’re dating?”
“Nah, we have to actually have the date first I think.” Tony grinned.
They ended up sleeping on the roof. Well, there was more talking than actual sleeping involved, but they did pass out at some point so it counted. Ryland woke up when the first rays of sunlight fell on the roof. With no small amount of horror he realised he used Tony as a shield from cold at some point during the night and was practically underneath him as if the guy was some sort of blanket. He quickly let go double checking the other was still asleep. He’d never hear the end of it if Tony realised what had happened.
He sat up. The sun was still under the horizon, but the sky was already starting to brighten, dressed in greyish blue and light purple. He breathed in. The air felt incredibly humid with that characteristic morning smell. It was probably somewhere around five in the morning.
It didn’t take that long for Tony to join him in the land of the living. They got to watch the sunrise together, alone on the hotel roof they really shouldn’t be on. It was amazing. The sharp rays reflected from the windows of dozens of buildings lighting up the city in an orange hue almost as beautiful as on a San Francisco beach. Almost. The view was a bit ruined by the slowly forming traffic jam down on the streets.
As much as Ryland wanted to stay on the roof with Tony forever they both knew they had to get back to the building now or risk getting caught. Not that getting caught would bring them any trouble with Tony’s influence, but it was about the principle. Tony walked with Ryland right to his room and then they had to say goodbye. Participating in a competition didn’t excuse them from normal college classes after all.
Not that Ryland could focus on the lectures. Tony was taking him on the coffee date as soon as they finished and as he was realising more and more with every meeting they had, there was nothing that could take over his thoughts quite as well as his boyfriend. He grinned to himself so hard his face hurt. He had a date! He wasn’t even sure how it happened, but he felt happier than ever and his life was going great.
Now he just had to make sure it didn’t fall apart.