Archive of Our Own

Xinlong feels bitter when he thinks about it. So, he tries to avoid it.

Though, it sure is difficult to stop thinking about his ex when they see each other multiple times a week. It's hard to avoid it when they make up one of the most popular tag teams on the American indie circuit. No matter what he does, Xinlong cannot escape Geonwoo Kim.

Despite that, he still does his best to be civil. It's simple, Xinlong thinks. They wrestle together nearly every week, showing off their picture perfect in-ring chemistry—the type of natural chemistry that makes everyone watching believe that they're best friends. Then, once they get backstage they pretend like they don't know each other. It's easy, and it keeps things from getting complicated.

Xinlong can't ever forget how things were, though.

They used to be best friends, and at that time—with both of their singles careers failing—had decided that forming a tag team together might help them get the attention they needed. They both had talent, charisma, and dedication, they just needed something more to make them stars.

The formation of Euphoria was the thing they both desperately needed.

After they got the idea approved by their boss and Drive Pro Wrestling's head booker, Junseo Kim, they were soon performing formally as a duo on weekly television. They quickly became not only one of the best tag teams in DPW, but in the world, bringing in thousands of fans as a result. They were finally achieving stardom and they couldn't be happier. Shortly after the team's formation, Creative made the decision to give them the promotion's tag team championships.

Since then, they have dropped the belts once after their initial reign only to win them back a little over seven months ago.

He remembers the day they won the DPW Tag Team Championships for the first time. It was the second happiest day of Xinlong's life.

Even to this day, Xinlong doesn't think he's ever been happier than the day Geonwoo asked to him to be his boyfriend. He remembers it so clearly, no matter how much he wants to forget.

Xinlong sits on his couch with Geonwoo by his side. As one of their only consistent days off, Thursdays have become their hang out days. Tonight, Geonwoo made them dinner and now they're relaxing. They've been rewatching some old Pay-Per-Views together, and as WWE Wrestlemania X-Seven plays on the TV Xinlong can't help how happy he feels.

TLC II is one of Xinlong's favorite matches ever and one of the matches that made him want to pursue professional wrestling as a career. His eyes are locked onto the TV, wide with the same wonder that he had when he was a kid watching this match for the first time.

"Xinlong, can I ask you something?" Geonwoo's voice breaks him out of his trance.

Xinlong looks over at his best friend, eyes curious. "Yeah, go ahead."

Geonwoo swallows, fidgeting with his hands. Xinlong has no idea why he'd be nervous right now. "You know, I've been meaning to get this off my chest for a while. I really like you, Xinlong. Like a lot. I want—I want to go out with you."

Xinlong feels his heartbeat pick up, can feel it pounding in his chest. He never thought this was possible—Geonwoo liking him. He's had a crush on Geonwoo for months and he thought it was hopeless, thought he'd never have a chance.

The older boy's face drops after Xinlong doesn't respond. "I'm sorry, just forget—"

"No!" Xinlong flushes after he realizes how much he raised his voice, a shy smile finding it's way onto his face. "I, uh…I mean. I would really love to. I'm sorry, I've liked you for a while now too. I didn't know how to respond, I guess.

Geonwoo beams at him, Xinlong thinks he's so beautiful when he smiles. "Really? Oh my God!" He leaps forward to hug Xinlong, wrapping his arms securely around the younger boy. Warmth floods through Xinlong's body at the action, at having Geonwoo in his arms. He pulls back a moment later, cradling the side of Xinlong's face with one hand.

"Longie," Geonwoo starts, "can I kiss you? Please?"

Xinlong can't find the words, so he just nods. He's smiling so much his jaw is starting to ache. When Geonwoo connects their lips, he can't stop the small hum that escapes him. The kiss quickly intensifies, Geonwoo's hand finding its way to his waist.

That's the night Xinlong lets Geonwoo be a lot of his firsts; first boyfriend, first kiss, first time. He doesn't mind, not at all—he wanted all these things with Geonwoo.

The memory only causes him pain now, especially when he sees Geonwoo sitting on the other side of the locker room as they wait to go on for their match tonight.

They don't say a word to each other, the weight of the silence in the room almost too heavy for Xinlong to bear. Geonwoo barely looks at him anymore, and when he does it's with a straight face.

He acts like he doesn't know Xinlong. Like he didn't used to kiss him until they were breathless, like he isn't the only person that Xinlong's ever fucked, like he doesn't remember how he used to call Xinlong pretty and mine.

It's only been four months since they broke up, and everyday Xinlong wishes that it didn't have to be like this.

Not that it suprises him; they didn't exactly end on good terms.

"You two are up in five!" Jiahao, Junseo's right hand man and husband, shouts from the entrance to the locker room. "We're gonna have Zihao and Suren head out first, but make sure you're waiting in Gorilla."

Zihao Li and Suren Xue, or Zephyr and Suren, are one of DPW's other big tag teams. In kayfabe, they're Euphoria's biggest rivals. In reality, they're two of Xinlong's closest friends. They don't have matches together often, but when they do it's a big deal. Geonwoo and Xinlong are defending their belts against them tonight in the main event.

Xinlong is beyond excited.

They're scheduled to go over, of course. They won the belts 216 days ago and Junseo wants them to hold onto them for longer still. At this rate, they'll take the record for the longest reigning tag champs in the promotion's history.

He heads over to Gorilla with Geonwoo, who is still dead silent, and double checks his gear as he waits. The two of them have multiple sets of matching gear that they've accumulated over the years. Tonight, they're both wearing white and baby blue—one of his ex-boyfriend's personal favorites.

Xinlong wears tights, and he's always preferred them. His kickpads are flashy, with dozens of sparkly tassels hanging from them. Aside from that, he wears athletic tape around his wrists and hands—mostly to help with grip, but also because he thinks it looks cool.

Geonwoo, on the other hand, has always preferred wearing trunks. His combination of knee pads and kickpads aren't as flashy as Xinlong's, but they get the job done. He wears matching athletic tape in the same way Xinlong does.

They also have matching jackets they wear for their entrance. The multiple they've had custom made has cost both them and the company a pretty penny, but as two of DPW's biggest stars, him and Geonwoo haven't been struggling financially for quite a while. The company grows more every day, and although small, the dedicated fanbase guarantees them good paychecks.

Xinlong waits in Gorilla with Geonwoo, stretching once more for good measure as he listens to Zihao and Suren's entrance music play on the arena's speakers.

"Alright, Euphoria, you're up in thirty seconds," Junseo says, clipboard in hand. Jiahao is standing beside him, double checking his in-ear.

Those thirty seconds pass, and before Xinlong knows it their music is booming through the speakers. He takes a deep breath, slings his half of the DPW Tag Team Championships over his shoulder, and pushes through the curtain, Geonwoo following right behind him.

As soon as they round the corner onto the entrance ramp, the show starts.

This is one of Xinlong's favorite things about his job; the deafening roar of the live audience, the pyro going off behind him, giving a little kid that has ringside seats a fist bump. It's the little things like these as he makes his way down to the ring that give him the energy he needs before a match.

From the moment that he and Geonwoo give their belts to the referee until the few moments before the bell rings he waits in the corner of the ring with his tag partner, leaning against the turnbuckle leasurely.

Then he does his usual round of rock, paper, scissors with Geonwoo to decide who starts off the match and loses, stepping through the ropes and throwing his jacket at ringside.

Deep breath in, deep breath out. One final reassuring high five with Geonwoo. Suren steps through the ropes in the other corner and waits to start along with Geonwoo. The referee raises their belts in the center of the ring, showing what's on the line, before handing the matching titles to the ring announcer.

The bell rings.

Geonwoo and Suren go straight for a collar and elbow tie up, with the former gaining the advantage. Xinlong watches closely as they start off the match, the anticipation of waiting to be tagged in making his heart pound against his chest.

Geonwoo has strength and a slight height advantage, but Suren is one of the fastest talents in the world between the ropes. Xinlong stays focused on the match the whole time, cheering for Geonwoo as Suren tags Zihao in.

As the heel team, Zihao and Suren often have to play dirty. Right now, it means isolating Geonwoo in their corner of the ring—where he can't reach Xinlong.

This is where the first of the two big spots of the match happen. Geonwoo, in an attempt to regain the advantage, tosses Zihao into Suren and knocks the latter off the ring apron.

Then, it's time for the hot tag.

Geonwoo crawls over to him while Xinlong hypes up the crowd, getting everyone in attendance to help cheer on his tag partner. He leans over the ropes as Geonwoo gets closer, his hand reaching towards the older boy. Seconds later, Geonwoo's palm connects with his, and Xinlong rushes in.

He unleashes a series of powerful kicks on Zihao, the crowd on his side as he sets a quick pace, his opponent unable to keep up. Then, he calls Geonwoo in the ring to help set Zihao up for their team finisher. Their attempt is interrupted by a returning Suren, who breaks them up and sends Geonwoo over the ropes and to the outside of the ring.

The match continues for a while with Euphoria at a disadvantage once again. It's compelling storytelling, to have such a back and forth match, and all four of them are well aware of that fact.

Just when Geonwoo and Xinlong start to gain the advantage again, with Xinlong and Suren now the legal participants, they begin to set up for the second big spot of the match. His tag partner holds Suren in place in the center of the ring while Xinlong backs up before running towards the pair.

The spot is supposed to play out like this; Suren slips from Geonwoo's grasp just as Xinlong hits a spinning back elbow. This means that he ends up "accidentally" hitting Geonwoo instead. Suren would then use the opening to hit his finisher on Xinlong, who would kick out at two. It's all to create suspense, really. To make the crowd believe for just a second that Euphoria might lose the titles right then and there.

It almost goes exactly as planned. Almost.

Suren slips out of Geonwoo's hold, but when Xinlong hits that spinning back elbow he's stiff—his elbow colliding with his tag partner's jaw much harder than it should've. The shock on his face as Geonwoo falls to the mat is mostly genuine, and guilt floods through him as he watches the older boy roll out of the ring.

"Fuck," he mumbles, thrown off guard as Suren turns him around and hits his finisher on him. As planned, he kicks out at two—the crowd gasping in awe as Suren pretends to act shocked and argue with the referee.

The rest of the match is short lived after that. Geonwoo returns to the ring apron so Xinlong can tag him into the match. For the finish, they hit their team finisher, and Geonwoo pins Suren for the win. The crowd counts along as the referee counts to three, and Xinlong rushes in to celebrate the victory with his partner.

They hold their belts triumphantly in front of the cheering crowd, then they exit the arena and head back to Gorilla. As they push through the curtain, adrenaline still runs hot through Xinlong's veins, his body shaking with the excitement of putting on another great match. He sets his half of the promotion's tag titles on a chair in the back, a smile on his face.

Of course, good things can never last long.

Geonwoo storms into Gorilla after him, throwing his matching Tag Team Championship on a nearby bench. He turns to Xinlong, scowling. "What the fuck?"

Xinlong rolls his eyes, he has no idea what has his tag partner so upset. "What's up your ass today?"

"What's up my ass?" Geonwoo's voice gets louder by the second, echoing across the room. "When we did that spot where you accidentally elbow me, you were stiff as fuck! My jaw hurts like a bitch!"

Oh, that. Xinlong had nearly forgotten about it, and he thought Geonwoo might have too.

"Oh, my bad." Xinlong's tone is laced with sarcasm. He hadn't mean to stiff Geonwoo, but he might as well play along. It was the other man that stomped backstage and started scolding him, anyway.

Geonwoo groans, angrily tearing the athletic tape off from around his hands. "So fucking remorseful, aren't you?"

Xinlong can't stop the laugh that surfaces. "You'll be fine, don't be such a wimp." He ignores the pointed glare that Geonwoo sends his way after that one. "We're pro wrestlers, what exactly do you expect? A nice tap?"

"Jesus Christ," Geonwoo curses. "I don't care about taking a bump, but you didn't have to stiff me."

"Okay, yeah, it was an accident—but I don't regret it."

That was clearly the wrong thing to say, and Geonwoo is storming across the backstage area in an instant. He glares angrily down at Xinlong, fuming.

"Don't be a fucking asshole!"

"I wasn't the one that stormed back here fucking screaming!"

"Then don't fucking stiff me if you don't want me to get pissed!"

"You'd be pissed no matter what I did. That's your fucking problem!" Xinlong spits. "This is why I can't stand you!"

They've never fought quite like this, at least not since they broke up. Even then, it was never this intense. The whole thing has spiraled into a screaming match, the two of them standing so close Xinlong can feel Geonwoo's breath.

"Oh, that's my problem? Let me tell you about your problem you little fucking—"

"What the fuck is going on back here?" Junseo's voice echoes across Gorilla, his arms crossed as he stares at the two of them, disappointed.

Geonwoo and Xinlong immediately take a step back from each other, staring at their boss nervously.

His ex-boyfriend is the first one to speak up, clearing his throat. "Xinlong was fucking stiff when he hit that spinning back elbow—"

"It was an accident!"

"One that you said you didn't regret!"

"Yeah, only because you came back here and started bitching right away!"

"Oh, so you're saying you were trying to piss me off!"

They've completely forgotten about Junseo at this point, the two of them screaming at each other with little regard for the small crowd they've attracted.

"Shut the fuck up—both of you!" Xinlong's not sure that he's heard Jiahao's voice get that loud before. Him and Junseo both look pissed, and Xinlong knows he's fucked up. Zihao and Suren stand by the curtain awkwardly, clearly not expecting this when they walked backstage.

"Geonwoo, to Junseo's office. Xinlong—come with me. Now." Jiahao's tone leaves no room for argument, and Xinlong quickly finds himself scrambling to follow the older boy.

Jiahao slams the door behind them as they enter his office, looking at Xinlong in disbelief. "Mind telling me why you felt the need to yell at your ex-boyfriend in front of everyone?"

Xinlong swallows nervously. "I—uh, fuck, I don't know, Hao. He came backstage yelling and I just argued back." He rubs at his temples, beyond frustrated as he replays the fight with Geonwoo in his head.

Jiahao sighs, exasperated. "You two have barely talked in, what, four months? And now you just start screaming at each other out of the blue."

He's angry with himself for responding to Geonwoo's comments the way he did, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't relieved. He exchanged more words with Geonwoo during the fight than he has since they broke up, and it makes him feel good in some twisted way.

"I guess it was just building up," Xinlong shrugs. "You know we ended on bad terms."

"I know, just," Jiahao pauses for a moment, thinking. "Just try to keep it civil, okay? At least at work. I don't want you to get hurt again, Xinlong."

Xinlong nods. "Okay."

·༻𐫱༺·

When Xinlong lies in bed that night, he can't stop his thoughts from wandering. As he thinks about his fight with Geonwoo, another memory—a much more pleasant one—comes to mind.

"Geonwoo!" Xinlong giggles as Geonwoo kisses his nose, hugging the younger boy tightly. They're both soaked in sweat, but neither of them care, content to hold each other close.

"Look at us, DPW Tag Team Champions. We did it, baby. We did it." Geonwoo is glowing, tears forming in the corners of his eyes as he plants another kiss on the tip of Xinlong's nose.

Uncaring of who might be watching them, Geonwoo surges forward, capturing Xinlong's lips in a passionate kiss. Xinlong melts into it, letting his boyfriend guide him. The younger boy whimpers when Geonwoo's tongue pushes past the seam of his lips, trying to ignore the chill that runs throughout his entire body.

"Hey, lovebirds! Some decency, please," Junseo laughs from the other side of the room, Jiahao at his side. "And congrats, champs."

The two of them separate as soon as Junseo speaks, Xinlong flushing bright red. They both thank their boss before Geonwoo drags him back to the locker room. After they're showered and dressed, his boyfriend pulls him close once again.

Thankfully, the locker room has emptied out by now, so they're alone when Geonwoo kisses him again.

"Let's go home and celebrate," Geonwoo suggests.

"Hm, and what's your idea of celebrating?"

Geonwoo chuckles then leans in close, whispering in Xinlong's ear, "Preferably fucking you until you forget your own name."

Xinlong's cock twitches in interest at the words. Geonwoo, unhelpfully, slots his knee between his thighs.

"Please," Xinlong whines, desperate.

True to his word, Geonwoo does fuck Xinlong so hard that night that his thoughts are reduced to nothing but his boyfriend.

Xinlong remembers how they went at it for hours after getting back to their place. He was suprised by how much energy the older boy had left in him, relentless as he fucked Xinlong again and again.

Xinlong forces the memory out of his head, rolling over in an attempt to get some sleep.

He falls asleep that night with his mind full of Geonwoo and his dick painfully hard.

Fuck.

·༻𐫱༺·

Much to everyone's dismay, the bickering between Xinlong and Geonwoo doesn't stop. If anything, it gets worse.

Exactly a week after the fight, at their next show, Euphoria is scheduled to do a promo together. It all goes to plan, with Zihao and Suren interrupting them. It ends in a brawl, one where Geonwoo and Xinlong walk out the triumphant babyfaces.

Xinlong pushes past the curtain, entering Gorilla as Geonwoo follows behind him. Junseo gives the two of them a big thumbs up with a smile on his face. "You two did great out there, keep up the good work!"

They thank him and head back to the locker room, going through their individual routines of showering and packing up to leave.

It's in the locker room, just as Xinlong is ready to leave, that it all does downhill.

"Your promo work could be a lot better, you know? Maybe you could try to not drag me down next time." Geonwoo's words are venomous, said with the purpose of getting under Xinlong's skin.

He knows this, and yet…

"What the fuck is your problem?" Xinlong spits. "Now you're just starting shit?" He turns around to face his tag partner, bag slung over his shoulder.

Geonwoo shrugs. "I'm just being honest with you."

That pisses Xinlong off even more—his promo work is excellent, and they both know it.

"Go fuck yourself, Geonwoo," he says through gritted teeth, trying to take a deep breath to calm himself down. "I'm leaving, goodnight."

Xinlong starts his walk towards the back entrance, ignoring whatever bullshit his ex-boyfriend shouts out as he slams the door.

A couple days later, at DPW's official training center, he and Geonwoo are running through some warm-ups. It's a normal routine for them, and one that's usually done in silence—at least since they broke up.

Today, his tag partner decides to sabotage that familar routine.

One of the things that Xinlong is best at in the ring is high-flying. To him, there's something so thrilling about performing flips and jumps that shouldn't be possible. It's something that took him years of training to learn, and many more years of practice to master. Despite his fear of almost everything, he loves the rush he gets when he does something like a moonsault off the top rope. It's ironic, really.

To be able to run through these types of moves on his training days, he spends a lot of time stretching and running the ropes. Messing up one of his more risky moves would likely mean hurting himself. He's an active champion for DPW who shows up to work every week—he can't afford an injury.

Geonwoo usually lets him take his time, he's never complained before. Not once. What makes today so different?

"Can you hurry up? You're taking fucking forever."

Xinlong sends the older boy a nasty side side, then rolls his eyes at him. "Five more minutes. You know my routine, stop being a cunt."

"Oh, so now I'm being a cunt for wanting to get shit done today?"

"Yeah, you are," Xinlong deadpans.

Geonwoo laughs dryly. "You're being a real asshole today, aren't you?"

Xinlong takes a deep breath and then stands up from where he was stretching in the center of the ring, walking over to Geonwoo. "Can you fucking shut up for once?"

"Good advice. You should fucking try it out."

"What the fuck is your problem!"

"You! I can't fucking stand you!"

"Well, great! 'Cause I can't stand your stupid fucking—"

Once again, their argument has evolved into a screaming match, their voices echoing across the training center.

Geonwoo grabs ahold of the front of his shirt while they shout at one another, pulling Xinlong closer. The younger boy places his hands on Geonwoo's chest, shoving him away.

Thankfully, that's where it ends.

Jiahao is stepping in between them in an instant, grip solid around Xinlong's arm as he pulls him back.

"Jesus fucking Christ," he mumbles, letting out an annoyed groan. "Both of you, just go home. We're not doing this today. Xinlong—I'm going with you."

"No! I need to—" Xinlong pleads.

"Need to what? Train? Because it looked like all you wanted to do was argue with your fucking ex."

That shuts him up, and he stays silent as Jiahao drags him out to the parking lot. He throws Xinlong's bag into his hands—Xinlong hadn't even realized that Jiahao had it—then finally lets go of his forearm.

"Just go home, please. Consider yourself lucky that that's the only consequence of your stupid fucking actions today." It's the last thing that Jiahao says to him before walking off.

The drive home is sobering, to say the least. He can't get Geonwoo off his mind, and he thinks about the older boy the entire time.

"Oh, oh! What about this one?" Xinlong taps on his phone screen, playing Cult of Personality by Living Colour over the car's speakers.

"Longie, you're making this too easy," Geonwoo chuckles. "CM Punk, duh."

If you ask Xinlong what one of his least favorite things is, he might say long car rides. However, being with Geonwoo makes them easy. Like now, as Xinlong plays random wrestling entrance themes on Spotify and makes his boyfriend guess whose they are.

"Fine, fine. I'll make it harder."

They continue doing that for a while, but the activity eventually turns into karaoke—the two of them belting in Geonwoo's car.

Xinlong can't help the way he stares at Geonwoo, entranced by him. It's as his boyfriend is being so silly, so carefree, that Xinlong feels more happy than he's ever felt.

He's so in love with Geonwoo. He wants to do everything with him; wants to get married to him, wants to grow old together, wants to hold him close forever.

Xinlong is snapped out of it when Geonwoo places a gentle kiss on his lips, smiling fondly at him. He almost panics, then realizes they've arrived at their apartment.

"Caught you staring," Geonwoo says, kissing Xinlong's cheek.

"I love you. You're my everything," is what comes out of Xinlong's mouth, voice barely above a whisper.

Geonwoo must have turned down the music at some point, but it's still oddly romantic that Lita's entrance music plays in the background. It's so them.

"I love you too," Geonwoo confesses back, "more than you'll ever know."

They end up softly making out in the front seat of Geonwoo's car, holding each other as close as they can in the cramped space. Only once they're out of breath do they break apart, breathing heavily.

"We should go in," Geonwoo suggests, laughing.

"Yeah, but I want more kisses in bed."

"You're adorable, Longie."

Xinlong was so happy back then, so content. He hasn't felt that way in months, and he's not sure if he ever will again.

He misses Geonwoo, misses what they were.

It hurts to admit to himself.

·༻𐫱༺·

When Xinlong shows up to work that night, he really hopes that he and Geonwoo can just get along for once.

The show goes fine, all things considered—but Xinlong is far from happy with their performance.

They had a particularly rough match tonight, unable to properly work together. For whatever reason, they were both off their game. Geonwoo especially was unfocused, and Xinlong is pissed when he gets back to Gorilla.

As soon as they cross the curtain, he turns to Geonwoo, fuming. "What the fuck, Geonwoo?"

The older boy groans. "What now?"

"You know what," Xinlong accuses. "You were off tonight. That match wasn't up to par and you know it."

"You're acting like I was the only one that was off their game."

That pisses Xinlong off even more, his face fixed into a scowl. "I was only off because you were! It's hard to fucking work together when you can't put on a decent match."

"Oh, I see," Geonwoo snaps. "I can't put on a decent match? Don't fucking tear down my ability because you're mad!"

Xinlong knows what he said isn't true—him and Geonwoo are two of the best in the industry—but he's angry, and all logic is thrown out the window when he's irritated like this. "I'm being honest! Someone has to put you in your fucking place."

"Oh, and you're gonna be the one to put me in my place?" Geonwoo is so close to him now, their faces inches apart.

"You're so fucking full of yourself," Xinlong spits. He wants to kiss Geonwoo so bad. He couldn't shake that desire out of his system even if he tried. He's realized that recently, just how badly he still wants his ex-boyfriend. Geonwoo smirks at him like he knows exactly what Xinlong is thinking, the fucking asshole.

Somehow, they end up at what is now Xinlong's apartment no more than an hour later, Geonwoo caging him in on the mattress. The kiss they're sharing is messy, tongue and teeth colliding ungracefully. Xinlong's been intimate with Geonwoo many times, but it's never been quite like this. Geonwoo kisses him with an intensity that leaves Xinlong reeling, three of the older boy's lube slicked fingers fucking into him roughly.

Sex between them had always been so soft, had been something born out of their love for each other. Now, though, Xinlong realizes how much tension and anger has built up between them.

God, it feels so good.

"Geonwoo," Xinlong moans, the sound louder than he anticipated. "I need, need—"

"So fucking desperate, aren't we?"

Xinlong wants to deny it, wants to come up with some quick-witted remark, but he can't. The words fail to form, and the only sounds that come from his mouth are the moans that are punched out of him.

Geonwoo crooks his fingers, the tips of them hitting Xinlong's prostate dead on with each thrust. Xinlong's back arches off the bed, his cock leaking uselessly onto his stomach. It's embarrassing how Geonwoo still knows his body so well.

"Please," Xinlong begs, "so close—"

Geonwoo pulls his fingers out instantly, wiping them off on Xinlong's sheets.

The younger boy whines, pouting. "No, no, why—"

"Because I want you to come on my cock," Geonwoo tells him, and Xinlong spreads his legs further, waiting.

When Geonwoo finally, finally, pushes his cock into Xinlong's tight hole, he can't help the scream that escapes him. He missed his ex-boyfriend in many ways, and this was one of them. His fingers and dildos are never the same, never able to replicate how fucking good Geonwoo feels inside of him.

The older boy slams his hips into Xinlong, his pace relentless right away. Xinlong chokes on a sob as Geonwoo bends him over even more, grasping at the sheets to try and do something with his hands.

He should regret this, should've never let this happen, but Geonwoo feels perfect inside him—like he's meant to be there. Xinlong's never fucked anyone else, but he doesn't think anyone could compare to Geonwoo.

The combination of that thought and the feeling of Geonwoo fucking him roughly is enough to make him come untouched, a high-pitched whine falling past his lips as he spills white all over his stomach.

Xinlong's vision gives out for a few long seconds, his body trembling as he comes down from what was possibly the most intense orgasm he's ever had. Geonwoo's thrusts haven't slowed down, his rhythm sloppy as he chases his own climax.

Xinlong whimpers, his body too sensitive as Geonwoo uses him. Suddenly, the older boy pulls out, kneeling over Xinlong and pumping his fist up and down his length a few times before adding to the mess on Xinlong's stomach.

Geonwoo looks stunning when he comes, biting his lip and throwing his head back as his orgasm washes over him.

For a few moments, they both stay there, panting as they take everything in. Then, without saying a word, Geonwoo cleans himself and Xinlong up.

As Geonwoo grabs his bag and opens the door to leave, Xinlong can't help but think about how badly he wants to beg the older boy to stay, to cuddle—like they used to.

But this isn't the past, and nothing is the same between them anymore, so Xinlong stays silent as Geonwoo leaves his apartment.

Xinlong lies in bed wearing a fresh pair of pajamas, almost asleep when another memory enters his mind without his permission.

Xinlong and Geonwoo are cuddling together in their shared bed, with the younger boy wrapping his arms around his boyfriend, his head buried in Geonwoo's chest.

One of Xinlong's favorite things to do with Geonwoo is cuddle, especially on nights like this after his boyfriend fucked him deep and slow. His body aches in the best way possible, and he's content as he holds Geonwoo close.

"You're so cute," Geonwoo coos, running his long fingers through Xinlong's hair.

"I'm not…" Xinlong whines, words slurring due to his half asleep state.

"Yes you are," Geonwoo teases. "So cute—and so clingy too."

Xinlong barely stays awake at this point, fighting to keep his eyes open. "I love you," he whispers.

"I love you too, baby."

"Wanna get married to you."

"It's so cute when you try to talk when you're falling asleep. My cute Longie, I wanna get married—"

The memory ends there, where Xinlong assumes he fell asleep. He does the same now, letting his eyes fall shut as he tries to forget about what he did tonight.

·༻𐫱༺·

Xinlong tells himself it'll be a one time thing—that he'll never fall to the temptation of Geonwoo Kim ever again.

It is not a one time thing.

They can't see each other these days without arguing. Whether it's at the training center, at the gym, or after DPW's weekly shows—the two of them always end up fighting.

Nearly every single time, usually mid-argument, they end up making out in some cleared out area backstage or just meeting at Xinlong's apartment.

Xinlong knows this isn't healthy, but he can't stop. He tells himself it won't end badly, that he's mature enough to handle this.

The Geonwoo that fucks him now is rough, never giving Xinlong a moment to breathe. It allows him to separate the Geonwoo he's currently having sex with from the one he used to know—the one that was only ever gentle with him, that whispered sweet nothings in his ear and kissed him softly.

Everyone in DPW knows about the fights, given that most of them take place backstage, but they don't know about this. About the pair of exes that went crawling back to each other for sex.

All things considered, it's going pretty well. Junseo has seemingly gotten used to their bickering, and the arguments haven't reached the level that their spat in the training center did a while back. It's manageable, at least for Xinlong.

Him and Geonwoo are back in the training center again today, this time sitting in a conference room with Zihao, Suren, Jiahao, and Junseo. The two teams have a big match coming up at a Pay-Per-View this coming Saturday in Chicago. Xinlong is thankful that DPW's main arena is located in the city, and that he lives here. It makes the trip a lot more manageable.

As a rapidly growing promotion, this is the company's first show in another arena. Even if it's in the same city, it's a big deal. Xinlong could never forget the smile on Junseo's face when he told everyone that this upcoming Pay-Per-View would be in a different arena than their usual one a few months ago.

"Alright," Junseo starts, looking over the notes he has written down in front of him. "The four of you have a no disqualification match this Saturday for the Tag Team Championships. We talked about some possible spots a bit ago, but we need to work them out officially now." Junseo flips to a new page in his notebook. "Geonwoo, you're still fine with that spot? The one with the thumb tacks?"

Geonwoo nods, slow. "Yeah."

"Great! Make sure you get that paperwork signed when we leave today," Junseo pauses for a moment as he flips to the next page in his notes. "Xinlong, you're still on for the ladder spot?"

Xinlong swallows. He is still on for it, but it makes him nervous. He's fine with high-flying, despite his fear of heights, but this is something new entirely—a big step in his career that he's trying hard to be ready for. The spot is simple, in theory. He sets up a table in the ring, rolls Suren onto it, and then grabs a ladder and jumps off of it and onto the table. He's done similar spots before, but there's something different about this one.

"Yeah, I'll do it."

"Good, good. Suren, you're not gonna move off of that table until the second Xinlong jumps off the ladder. We want that timing to be perfect."

Xinlong has jumped from high places onto tables with people on them before, of course he has. Key point: tables with people on them. Not empty tables with no one to soften the blow of the fall.

Long story short, it's going to hurt like a bitch.

The rest of the meeting consists of discussing what else they'll be doing for the match. They discuss other big spots, their time limit—all the complicated details that need to be worked out before they get in the ring on Saturday.

Xinlong manages to avoid a confrontation with Geonwoo after the meeting, getting in his car and heading home right away. The last thing he needs right now before this big of a match is a distraction.

·༻𐫱༺·

Saturday comes quicker than Xinlong expects, and he's waiting for his queue in Gorilla before he knows it.

It's weird, to be performing in another location. The backstage area is slightly different, and it's throwing him off a little bit. Geonwoo sits across from him, wearing the same colors that Xinlong is—black and red.

Zihao and Suren are making their entrance now, their music blaring throughout the arena. Xinlong sits there, taking deep breaths in and out as they wait for their queue.

"Alright, Euphoria!" Junseo calls out from his place behind his monitor. "You're on in 30 seconds, get in position."

The rest feels like a blur to Xinlong. They make their entrance, and the crowd is bigger than Xinlong imagined when he saw the empty arena this morning. There has to be thousands of people in attendance, every single one of them focused on him and Geonwoo in this moment. The referee holds up their titles, showcasing what's on the line.

Euphoria is set to win this match, but that doesn't make it any easier for Xinlong to calm his nerves.

Finally, the bell rings.

The match is intense, to say the least. Even before the big spots they have planned, the match stipulation makes the contest brutal. Xinlong swings a steel chair at Suren, his opponent falling to the ground after the strike. It's after that that he grabs the table and ladder he needs from under the ring, setting them up once he's back inside.

It's one of the craziest things he's ever done, and the nerves don't leave him as he rolls Suren onto the table. In fact, they only get worse as he climbs the ladder. Usually, the adrenaline rush allows him to ignore how nervous he gets—but tonight he can hardly breathe as he stands on top of the ladder. He has to be nearly ten feet in the air, shaking as he looks down at Suren.

He takes one final deep breath, then jumps off—executing a picture perfect 450 splash off the ladder.

The impact is rough.

He lands on his stomach, just like he's supposed to, but the lack of anyone on the table to soften the blow causes pain to shoot through his body. The table breaks in half—Xinlong would've been fucked if it didn't break—and he thinks he hears Suren gasp, but he's too out of it to register anything but the pain for a moment.

As he lays there, his ears ringing, he hopes the spot turned out great. He won't settle for anything less than perfect.

His cue to return to the match is, thankfully, Zihao picking him up and throwing him out of the ring. His friend checks on him as he does so, with Xinlong whispering back that he's okay so that they can continue the bout.

He spends a good few minutes at ringside, using the time to recover and discreetly watch what's happening in the ring. He pushes himself up just in time to see Geonwoo get suplexed into dozens of thumb tacks, the sharp objects lodging themselves in his back and biceps. Xinlong thinks there might be one or two in his elbows as well.

Zihao, who also got a few thumb tacks in his back from the spot, pins Geonwoo. Obviously, his tag partner kicks out at two, which is Xinlong's cue to get his ass back in the ring. His nerves have mostly worn off by now, especially with the match nearing its end.

Xinlong ends up pinning Zihao to pick up the victory for Euphoria, a massive smile on his face as he and Geonwoo celebrate their win in the center of the ring.

It has the makings of a perfect night, and Xinlong really hopes it is one.

As soon as they push open the curtain and head into Gorilla, Xinlong stops his tag partner. "You okay? That was really fucking awesome, you—"

"Shut the fuck up. Don't suddenly act like you care about me."

Of course it's one of those nights. It's always like this with them, isn't it?

"What the hell is your problem? I'm being nice and checking up on you because you have fifty plus fucking thumb tacks in your back and you're being a dick?" Xinlong snaps, looking at Geonwoo in disbelief.

"Just leave me alone, Xinlong! I don't want to fucking talk to you."

"You're such a piece of shit! You know that, right?"

"Oh, I'm the piece of shit? You fucking hypocrite, you—"

As usual, Jiahao steps in between the two of them. "Enough. Geonwoo, go see the doctor—you need to get those tacks removed ASAP." Then, as his tag partner storms off, Jiahao turns towards Xinlong. "Go home. I'm not fucking dealing with this tonight."

When Xinlong showers and packs up his bags, he's undeniably angry. He stomps out of the building and definitely drives way too fast on the highway, still pissed when he enters the safety of his apartment.

He goes to bed angry that night. Some things between him and Geonwoo never change.

·༻𐫱༺·

It all comes to a head a few weeks later.

Junseo and Jiahao have been working hard for the last few weeks to keep him and Geonwoo apart when they're backstage. It's mostly successful, and all they're ever able to get out to one another is a quick "fuck you" before they leave work for the night.

That night, though, they happen to be in the locker room together. They've both showered and are packing their bags to head out for the night. Just seeing Geonwoo these days pisses him off. It's not suprising, considering that they've gone weeks without a real argument, and have gone weeks without fucking.

"What are you looking at me like that for?" Geonwoo asks him, clearly irritated.

Xinlong laughs, deciding to escalate the situation right away. "I fucking hate you. Can't stand looking at you." That word—hate—hasn't been brought into their arguments yet. Hate is the point of no return, and it's stronger than Xinlong actually feels, considering how much he still wants his ex-boyfriend.

"Yeah? Well the feeling's mutual." Geonwoo walks over to where Xinlong is on the opposite side of the locker room, standing right in front of him. "I fucking hate you, too."

Xinlong doesn't know what comes over him. He grabs a handful of Geonwoo's shirt, pulling him closer. "You're the worst thing that ever fucking happened to me," Xinlong spits.

In the next few seconds, Geonwoo is throwing a fist in his direction—the punch landing right on Xinlong's jaw. It hurts, pain blooming across his face. More than anything, though, it only serves to piss him off further.

Xinlong sees red.

He retaliates with a punch of his own, then another. Geonwoo fights back, grabbing Xinlong by the shoulders and pulling him to the ground. His back hits the floor with a thud, Geonwoo on top of him. Xinlong's hands are pulling at Geonwoo's hair, all while his ex-boyfriend tries to land more punches.

Xinlong is eventually able to maneuver Geonwoo below him, finally gaining the advantage when he's on top of the older boy. He lands a nasty elbow to Geonwoo's face, and his tag partner responds with one to Xinlong's jaw. He's just about to land another blow when he's pulled off of Geonwoo.

Junseo and Jiahao are holding him back, their combined grip strong enough to keep Xinlong from escaping. Zihao and Suren are there too, blocking Geonwoo from getting to him. It dawns on Xinlong in that moment, what they've done.

Fuck.

Xinlong is dragged out of the locker room by Junseo and Jiahao to another room, his boss slamming the door shut as Jiahao forces Xinlong to sit in a nearby chair.

Junseo is fuming. Xinlong doesn't think he's seen him so angry before.

"What the actual fuck is your problem?!" Junseo shouts.

Xinlong doesn't know how to respond. Fear washes over him and the words get stuck in his throat. Now that his head has—mostly—cleared, he's able to process everything. The guilt that he feels is suffocating.

"I'd had enough with the arguments, and I was already fed up with you two," Junseo paces back and forth, frustrated. "Now I go to the locker room and see you two having a goddamn fist fight!"

Xinlong stays silent—he figures it wouldn't help his case to respond right now.

"Well it fucking ends here. Euphoria is losing those belts—"

"What?! You can't—" Xinlong cuts him off, panicking.

"You know damn well that I can. One more fucking argument from you two and you're off TV indefinitely."

The threat is terrifying. After this, Xinlong knows that Junseo would go through with it without hesitation.

Xinlong sighs. "Yeah. Okay." He's accepted his fate by now. It's the consequences of his actions, after all. Well, his and Geonwoo's actions.

Junseo's pissed and Jiahao looks extremely disappointed in him and he can't handle it anymore. He excuses himself from the room and walks to his car, head hung low in shame. He only lets himself break down once he's in the safety of his car, choking on a sob as he leans his head against the steering wheel.

His life feels like a wreck right now.

When he checks his phone again, once he's calmed down, two text messages wait for him.

Jiahao, 10:46 PM

I'm disappointed in you, Xinlong. You better fix this.

And…

Geonwoo Kim, 10:49 PM

Fuck you.

·༻𐫱༺·

Xinlong and Geonwoo are in DPW's training center a few days after the incident, sitting in silence in one of the conference rooms. Junseo and Jiahao sit across from them, looking just as pissed as they did that night.

Zihao and Suren are there too—Junseo had decided that Euphoria would be dropping the Tag Team Championships to them.

"Okay, so you four will do a promo segment. Zihao and Suren—you guys will challenge Euphoria to a title match. Geonwoo and Xinlong, as the heroic babyfaces, you guys will accept that challenge."

Xinlong listens to everything, or at least he tries to. He's been out of it since him and Geonwoo's fight.

"Zihao and Suren will be going over, obviously." Junseo fails to hide the anger is his voice. It makes Xinlong flinch.

The rest of the meeting feels like a blur. Next to him, Geonwoo sports a nasty bruise under his eye, as well as one on his jaw. He's not the only one with physical evidence of their altercation—Xinlong has a large bruise on his jaw, one that looks like it'll take a while to heal.

He tries to leave once the meeting is over, but Jiahao stops him. Thankfully, he waits until everyone else has left to say what he needs to to Xinlong.

"I'm worried about you, Xinlong. This isn't me speaking as your superior—it's me speaking as your friend." Concern bleeds through Jiahao's voice as he speaks.

Xinlong swallows. "I'm fine, really."

"Are you?"

Xinlong pauses for a minute. If he's being honest with himself, he isn't fine—but he doesn't need to worry Jiahao. He's already caused enough trouble for everyone.

"I'm fine enough. I will be fine, I'm just…" Xinlong trails off, sighing. "I'm sorry."

Jiahao looks conflicted. "We don't have to talk about it yet. Just let me know if you need anything. Please."

Xinlong agrees to do so, and that's the end of the conversation. He leaves the training center soon after, his jaw aching and his heart heavy.

"Oh baby, these must hurt so bad," Geonwoo coos, gently applying ointment to Xinlong's back.

They had wrestled in a pretty brutal match that night, and Xinlong had taken some blows to the back with a kendo stick. The result of that risk was multiple welts across his back, bright red and painful.

Xinlong hisses as his boyfriend applies the ointment, a strong stinging sensation spreading across his skin.

"Sorry Longie," Geonwoo apologizes, though he doesn't really need to.

It's nothing new to Xinlong, treating wounds like this. It's all in the job description, and he knows what he's signed up for in this line of work. He supposes it is nice that he has Geonwoo to help him, though.

His boyfriend really is the sweetest person he knows.

"All done," Geonwoo announces, "now we'll just let that dry."

Xinlong turns to face the older boy, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him down for a quick kiss—then another, and another.

Geonwoo giggles each time Xinlong places a peck on his lips, smiling as he accepts the affection.

"Can't help myself," Xinlong explains, even though his boyfriend hadn't said anything. "I love you."

The older boy leans forward, kissing Xinlong's nose with a loud smooching sound. The moment is silly, but also so intimate. It's perfect. It's them.

Xinlong wants this—to share these moments with Geonwoo forever.

"I love you, too."

·༻𐫱༺·

Tonight's the night, the night that Euphoria loses their titles.

Xinlong's made peace with it, mostly. He's sad about it, of course he is, but he understands why it has to happen. He's still angry with Geonwoo, and himself, for letting this happen—but nothing can be done now.

The promo segment and match are simple enough, and everyone involved gives it their all.

They're about twenty minutes into the bout when it happens.

Xinlong's doing a springboard moonsault to the outside of the ring—something he's done dozens of times before. It's almost perfect, but when he lands his left foot gives out and he tumbles to the ground ungracefully.

Instantly, pain shoots through his knee, and he's positive that he heard something pop. It's one of the most painful things he's ever experienced, and he knows right away that something is wrong.

He can't get up, can't move—can't do anything. He clutches his knee as he lays at ringside. Zihao is next to him, still on the ground after being hit with Xinlong's springboard moonsault.

Neither of them are the legal participants right now, so Zihao discreetly rolls over to him.

"Xinlong? Xinlong, what's wrong?" Xinlong can barely hear what's going on, and he just groans in response. When he attempts to get up, he puts pressure on his leg and immediately falls back down—his vision nearly blacking out.

"Fuck," he curses. "Zihao—I think I hurt myself."

He thinks he might be hyperventilating, trying to calm himself down as his left leg burns with intense pain.

It's all a blur after that. Soon after, the bell rings, despite the fact that the match wasn't supposed to end yet, and he hears Zihao and Suren's music playing.

There's suddenly a group of people surrounding him—including Geonwoo and Junseo. They all talk to him, but he can barely hear them. Xinlong feels like he's underwater, the voices around him muffled.

"…Long! Fuck—he's…"

"…like an injury, we need…"

Someone, he doesn't know who, helps him up. The next moment, he's being held up by two people, using one leg to move while the people beside him help him walk. It's unbelievably difficult, and even without walking using his left leg, the pain is unbearable.

Eventually, he ends up being set down in a chair backstage. He vaguely registers that they're situated by the back entrance of the arena.

Junseo's panicked voice cuts through the rest of the noise. "The ambulance is on the way. Xinlong—you're heading to the hospital soon. Just hold on a bit longer."

The world spins around him, and Xinlong can't focus on anything but the pain. It takes what seems like forever for the ambulance to arrive, and by the time he's being helped into the vehicle it feels like it's been hours since the moment he injured himself.

As he's lying down in the ambulance his mind races, he wonders what this could mean for his career. The injury is likely serious, and the thought is terrifying to him. He prays, to whoever might be listening, that it's not as bad as it feels.

He doesn't even realize he's crying until someone speaks up in an attempt to calm him down.

"Don't cry, Longie. It'll be okay."

Xinlong's heart stops. Only one person calls him Longie.

When he opens his eyes, Geonwoo is hovering above him, clearly worried. Xinlong thinks he must be dreaming, that the pain knocked him out, if his ex-boyfriend is looking at him like he cares.

He sobs harder, then tries to hide his face out of embarrassment. It's all too much for him; the fluorescent lights, Geonwoo's sympathy, the intensity of the pain.

He barely remembers anything after that.

·༻𐫱༺·

When Xinlong comes to, the first thing he smells is chemicals. As he opens his eyes, he takes a moment to adjust to the bright lights, then realizes he's in a hospital room.

The first person Xinlong sees is Junseo, who's by his side in seconds after realizing that he's awake.

"Xinlong," Junseo smiles at him, genuine. "How are you feeling?"

Truth be told, Xinlong can't feel much at all—at least, in terms of pain. He does feel woozy, though, blinking slowly as he thinks about how to respond.

"Like my head's floating."

Junseo laughs at that. "Makes sense—they put you on some pretty strong painkillers."

Ah, that does make sense.

"I don't know if you remember," Junseo starts, "but the doctors ran some tests last night—they did an X-ray too."

Xinlong nods, trying to show that he understands what Junseo is saying.

"Uh, fuck, I wanted to be the one to tell you this, but it's hard," Junseo sighs. "You, uh—you tore your ACL last night, Xinlong. The doctors said you'll be out of action for six months, at the least."

"What?" Even though he's very out of it, Xinlong knows exactly what his boss is telling him.

"You're scheduled for surgery in two days, and you'll be staying here until then. I'm sorry, Xinlong."

The first thing that comes out of Xinlong's mouth is a laugh, which is quickly followed by a sob.

Junseo suprises him in that moment, pulling Xinlong in for a hug. He sobs into the older boy's shoulder as his world collapses, wanting nothing more than for this to all to be a bad dream—something that isn't real.

Xinlong wishes none of this was real.

·༻𐫱༺·

The days leading up to surgery feel rather short.

Xinlong spends a lot of time sleeping. The strong painkillers they give him knock him out easily, so he's basically only awake to eat.

The only other times that he's awake is when he has visitors. Zihao and Suren stop by together, and so do Junseo and Jiahao. A number of other people from work visit him too, but none of them are the one person he truly wants to see right now.

He wants Geonwoo here, more than anything.

Their last encounter has left Xinlong confused. He wants to know why Geonwoo came on the ambulance with him, why he called him Longie again after so long, why he looked like he was worried.

It hurts his head when he thinks about it too much, so he tries not to, but he's realized that he can't go very long without thinking about Geonwoo.

In the end, he doesn't see Geonwoo before his surgery. He tries to not be upset about it.

Surgery goes well—at least that what Junseo tells him when he wakes up. He's groggy, and he can barely keep his eyes open as the doctor tells him about his recovery plan. It's good that Junseo and Jiahao are in the room with him, because Xinlong didn't hear a thing the doctor said.

"Let's get you home," Jiahao says, though his voice feels far away.

Xinlong doesn't really wanna move—he kinda just wants to go back to sleep—but Jiahao and Junseo move him out of the hospital bed, anyway.

He failed to notice that he's no longer in a hospital gown, but instead in a set of comfortable clothes that aren't his. He also failed to notice that his IV has been removed. He has no idea when either of those things happened.

There's a large brace on his left leg, and it feels like it's weighing him down as he gets up from the hospital bed. He's helped into a nearby wheelchair by Junseo, then pushed out of the building by Jiahao. He's too busy trying to stay awake to process most of what's going on.

Xinlong falls asleep on the drive back to his apartment, and then again on the couch when he gets home. He's grateful that his couch is a recliner—it's nice to put his leg up. He doesn't know what time it is when Jiahao shakes him awake.

"There you are," Jiahao says gently once Xinlong opens his eyes. "Time to take your meds—and eat, if you feel up to it."

Xinlong blinks, confused. "I have meds?"

Jiahao laughs. Xinlong's not sure what's so funny. "See, this is why Junseo and I are taking care of you."

The other boy hands him a glass of water and helps him take two tiny pills. The simple task is a struggle, even with Jiahao's assistance. Xinlong finds that his body doesn't cooperate as well as he would like it to right now.

After the pills are down, his eyes begin to slip shut again without his permission. "Back to bed?" Jiahao asks.

Xinlong nods, letting his head fall back against the couch cushions.

Jiahao laughs again. "Sleep well, Xinlong."

It's rare that Xinlong has to go this long without seeing his boyfriend, but here he is—day three of no Geonwoo.

The older boy had went home for the weekend, flying across the country to visit his family. It had been way too expensive for Xinlong to tag along, so he stayed at their apartment.

Xinlong keeps checking his phone every thirty seconds, waiting on the nighttime call that Geonwoo had promised.

What feels like hours, but is actually about thirty minutes, passes and Xinlong's phone is lighting up.He answers it right away.

"Hi baby, what are you doing?" Geonwoo's voice filters through the speaker of Xinlong's phone.

"I was waiting for you to call," Xinlong admits, only slightly embarrassed.

Geonwoo chuckles on the other end of the call. "Cute." Xinlong is grateful that his boyfriend can't see the way he blushes at that.

They stay on the phone for hours, still calling when they're both in bed. Xinlong is trying his best to keep his eyes open—and he's failing miserably. He keeps responding less and less as Geonwoo talks, giving his sleepiness away.

"Are you falling asleep, Longie?"

Xinlong yawns. "No…"

"You can go to bed if you're tired," Geonwoo tells him. Xinlong doesn't want to go to bed.

"Wanna keep talking to you. I miss you," Xinlong pouts.

"I miss you, too. So much."

Geonwoo keeps talking to him, his voice soothing as Xinlong dozes off. When he wakes up, it's in the early hours of the morning, and the sun has yet to rise.

The phone call is still going, Geonwoo snoring softly on the other end. Xinlong quickly falls back asleep to the sound, whispering one thing to the phone—to his boyfriend—before sleep takes him again.

"I love you."

·༻𐫱༺·

Jiahao shakes Xinlong awake again the next morning. He still feels woozy, unsure what time it is.

"Good morning, how are you feeling?" Jiahao asks, his tone gentle.

Xinlong takes a moment to think. "Tired."

Jiahao smiles at him. "Junseo's almost done with breakfast. You need to eat, then we're gonna start on some light exercises for your knee."

"Like what?"

"Just bending it a bit—the doctors gave us some papers before we left the hospital that walk us through what to do. We'll help you out, don't worry," Jiahao's words are reassuring, and they help to make Xinlong feel a little less nervous.

He doesn't eat much. The food is good, but it's difficult for him to stomach more than half his plate. Junseo and Jiahao sit in the living room and eat with him, a comfortable silence settling between the three of them.

The exercises suck, to put it lightly.

His friends have him sitting on the couch, helping him as he stretches his leg and then bends it. They have him do the simple exercise a few times, Xinlong wincing with every movement. He can't imagine how bad it would hurt without the painkillers, so he's grateful for that.

"Alright, all done for now." Junseo helps situate him on the couch again, moving Xinlong so that his leg is elevated. They have him take some more painkillers after that, and it doesn't take long for them to kick in.

He tries to focus on the TV, not wanting to go back to sleep yet. When he realizes what's on it he can't stop the tears that start to form in the corners of his eyes. On the TV, WWE Wrestlemania X-Seven is playing—specifically TLC II. Xinlong is touched by the gesture, by the fact that they put on something they knew he would want to watch.

However, in his dazed state, it only makes him think of one person.

Xinlong thinks about how Geonwoo used to watch this match with him, holding him close as it played in front of them. The thought breaks him instantly, tears falling down his cheeks before he even realizes it.

"Xinlong?" He can hear the panic in Junseo's voice. "What's wrong?"

Xinlong chokes on a sob, wiping his tears with his sleeve. He probably looks so pathetic right now. "Geonwoo," he cries, "I miss Geonwoo."

"Oh," Junseo and Jiahao say in unison, exchanging a look.

"He—he used to watch this with me," Xinlong sniffles. "I want him back, I think I'm still in love with him," The words fall past his lips without his permission. He thinks the painkillers might be making him too honest, making him say things out loud that he doesn't want anyone to know.

It's too late now. His friends heard him clearly, a matching worried expression on their faces.

Jiahao is the first to speak, trying to interrupt Xinlong's breakdown. "Maybe you should go back to bed, you seem really tired—"

"No," Xinlong whines. "I want Geonwoo."

"That's not a good idea, especially not right now." Junseo's thinking logically, but Xinlong doesn't care about being logical. He knows it's not a good idea, that it's not a good thought to have in his head—but he can't help it. He's done nothing but argue with his ex-boyfriend for months, but he'd rather have to deal with another argument than not be able to see Geonwoo at all.

Jiahao appears next to him suddenly, pulling him into a hug. Xinlong feels warmth flood throughout his body as the older boy pulls him close, sobbing loudly into Jiahao's shoulder. They stay like that for a while—Xinlong's not sure how long—his friend holding him until the tears stop.

Xinlong is too tired to cry after a few minutes, sniffling miserably into Jiahao's tear-stained t-shirt. He must fall asleep in that position, and the next time he wakes up his two friends are nowhere to be seen. He's leaning against the couch cushions, blinking slowly as he regains consciousness. His face feels puffy and his eyes are dry. He wonders how long he's been asleep.

He's not sure where Jiahao and Junseo are, then a few moments later he hears two hushed voices coming from the kitchen. Xinlong tries his best to listen in on their conversation, curious about what they're discussing in the other room.

"What if he asks about Geonwoo again?" Jiahao's voice is the first one he hears.

"We'll just have to deflect—those two don't need to be around each other right now," Junseo responds.

Jiahao sighs. "I know. I'm just concerned about him." Xinlong knows that his friend's concern is directed at him. "If that was how he reacted just being reminded of Geonwoo, how are we supposed to tell him that Geonwoo visited him after surgery?"

Xinlong's heart drops to his stomach. Geonwoo visited him in the hospital?

"We don't," Junseo reasons. "I know Geonwoo was worried, but those two have done nothing but bicker for months. The last thing we need is the two of them arguing while Xinlong is still high on painkillers."

Xinlong tries not to cry again, willing the tears away. The information is too much for him to take in, and on top of that his knee is really starting to hurt—a dull ache that won't go away. He gives himself a moment to calm down, then he grabs his phone from the table next to him. He hasn't looked at it since before he got injured, and he could use the distraction.

There's dozens of notifications. Most of them are texts from his coworkers wishing him a speedy recovery. One of the messages is from Zihao, a picture of Xinlong knocked out in his hospital bed attached to the message. It makes him laugh, and it's the first time he's smiled in days.

As he scrolls through his notifcations, clearing each one out one by one, he notices a series of messages that sits near the bottom.

[Four Days Ago]

Geonwoo Kim, 12:07 AM

Hi Longie. I hope surgery goes okay, everyone is really worried about you.

[Three Days Ago]

Geonwoo Kim, 8:49 PM

Good luck with your recovery.

[Today]

Geonwoo Kim, 10:24 AM

I hope you're doing okay.

Xinlong quickly swipes away the notifications, deciding that he can't deal with the fact that Geonwoo texted him multiple times right now.

He wants to respond so bad, wants to say something along the lines of I miss you, but we can't be normal adults around each other, but he knows the idea is terrible. He sets his phone back on the table—out of sight, out of mind, he tells himself.

He lays there for a few moments, staring at the wall in an attempt to clear his mind.

"Xinlong—you're up." Jiahao's voice snaps him out of his thoughts, the older boy walking over to him in an instant. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay," Xinlong tells him, and he supposes it's the truth. He's really not doing great, but the last thing he wants to do is give anyone a reason to be more concerned about him.

"That's good. Did you wanna talk about—"

"No." Xinlong shuts down the idea. He doesn't want to talk about it. He's already said too much today.

"Okay. Just…remember that we're here if you do wanna talk about it," Jiahao tells him. Xinlong can tell his friend is being careful around him, like he could break down again at any moment.

It's not entirely untrue. Xinlong knows he's going through a lot, certainly a lot more than he wants to handle.

The conversation thankfully goes a different direction from there, and he tries his best to let it distract him.

He just can't stop thinking about Geonwoo.

·༻𐫱༺·

The week is long, and Xinlong is already unsure how he's going to get through at least six months of this.

Xinlong already misses wrestling so much. He wants nothing more than to run the ropes, to do a moonsault, even to just train—but he can barely walk. He's going insane like this, just laying on the couch all day.

The most movement he gets are the light exercises for his knee, and those aren't exactly enjoyable. Sometimes he gets up to walk to the bathroom, but the brace on his knee and his crutches feel like they're weighing him down.

Even though it's only been a week, he feels like a burden to his friends. Junseo and Jiahao have to help him with everything because Xinlong is unable to do much by himself. They're taking hours out of their lives to help Xinlong do simple tasks, and he feels terrible about it.

Jiahao is at his place more often, mostly because Junseo still has a company to run. They watch DPW on TV that week, Jiahao sitting next to him on the couch as the weekly program plays. Geonwoo is absent for the entire two hours, and there's no doubt in Xinlong's mind that it's due to his injury. He tries to not feel bad about it.

They also play the footage of Xinlong getting injured, the commentary team talking about it in depth. He'd seen the video already—it was practically unavoidable on Twitter—but it still makes him flinch.

The way that Xinlong's foot had landed was awkward, and his entire left leg had ended up in an odd position because of it. The worst part of the video, though, is the way that he falls to the ground immediately, the way he curls up and clutches his knee. It would've been immediately obvious to anyone watching that something was wrong.

He doesn't say anything while it plays, and neither does Jiahao. He's thankful for that.

By the end of the week, Xinlong is itching to leave his apartment. He's able to walk with the assistance of his crutches, and they're slowly moving him to painkillers that aren't nearly as strong, so his head doesn't feel as foggy anymore. It's when Junseo enters his apartment a few days later that he asks the one thing Xinlong has been waiting to hear.

"Xinlong," Junseo starts, "do you wanna come backstage this week?"

Xinlong can't hide his excitement, a wide smile breaking onto his face as he accepts the offer.

He spends the beginning of week two working on some more light exercises at home. Junseo and Jiahao walk him through those, and then take him to his first physical therapy appointment. Without the strong painkillers, the exercises are much more difficult. What once was mild discomfort becomes a persistent ache in his knee as he moves it. He dislikes physical therapy already, and he knows the exercises will only get more intense as he recovers, but he knows it's a necessary step to getting back in the ring.

Tuesday rolls around before he knows it, and he's sitting in the back of Junseo's car, shaking with excitement as they pull up to DPW's headquarters.

He finally feels like he can breathe again as he enters the backstage area, making his way to Gorilla soon after. Jiahao helps him sit down in one of the nice, cushioned chairs, making sure that Xinlong is comfortable before running off to help Junseo.

They got to the building rather early, so Xinlong spends a good amount of time sitting on his phone, playing mindless mobile games to keep himself busy. A couple hours pass before anyone walks into Gorilla.

"Xinlong!"

Xinlong turns his head to see Zihao, who rushes over to him in seconds. "I didn't expect to see you here! How are you holding up?

"I'm alright, I guess. I hate not being able to move much. And I hate physical therapy."

Zihao laughs at that, and Xinlong finds that his friend's good mood brings a smile to his face. They end up talking for a while after that, until more people show up, happy to see Xinlong present at tonight's show.

It's a while, about an hour before the show starts, before Xinlong sees Geonwoo.

"Longie." Xinlong hears his nickname and his gaze instantly shoots upwards. Geonwoo is dressed in his attire, one that Xinlong knows he has the matching half to sitting sadly in his apartment.

"Hi Geonwoo, I—uh." Xinlong doesn't quite know what to say. He's unsure how to react when his ex-boyfriend speaks to him so gently—it's a complete contrast to what he's gotten used to over the last couple months.

Thankfully, Geonwoo starts the conversation instead. "How have you been? You know, with your recovery."

Geonwoo is fidgeting with his hands, clearly nervous. Xinlong is nervous too, chewing on his lip. It's awkward, sure, but at least it's not another one of their usual arguments.

"I'm okay," Xinlong says, honest. "It hasn't even been two weeks yet and I hate everything about this."

"Ah, yeah, it doesn't seem fun." Geonwoo hugs himself as he talks—it's one of his nervous habits Xinlong has always adored. "Well, I hope everything goes well. It'll be nice to see you here when you can make it."

Xinlong wants to take the words as I'll miss you when you're not here, but he quickly shuts that delusional part of his brain off.

"Yeah, I'll be here as much as I can."

Geonwoo takes his leave after that, and Junseo and Jiahao enter Gorilla soon after to finalize some things before they go on air. Xinlong finds it fascinating—he doesn't usually get to see much of this since he's too busy being in the ring or hanging out further backstage.

Despite how much it hurts that he can't wrestle right now, Xinlong still loves watching other people do it. He has a lot of passion for the sport; it's one of his biggest comforts.

Watching Geonwoo perform in singles matches is strange, and he figures it must feel that way for the older boy as well. He and Geonwoo have been wrestling together for years, and even on the rare occasion that one of them did have a singles match, the other one was always ringside cheering them on.

Despite that, Geonwoo does well. He's extremely talented in the ring, and Xinlong rarely gets the opportunity to watch him like this. Overall, the night is enjoyable, and by the time he's in bed he feels a little happier than he has since getting injured.

The rest of the first month passes pretty uneventfully. Xinlong goes to physical therapy twice a week, and he's able to occasionally put weight on his knee—though it's far from easy. Either Jiahao or Junseo walk him through more exercises daily at his apartment, helping him get through some of the worst parts of his recovery. The two of them no longer need to stay over every night at Xinlong's apartment, and he finds that the small bit of freedom is nice.

Xinlong hasn't gone to one of DPW's weekly shows since those first two weeks. He hasn't been in the mood to go through the effort of getting out of the house, the persistent ache in his knee constantly bothering him.

This week though, he makes the decision to go. Jiahao picks him up about an hour before the show starts, and Xinlong once again finds his way into one of the cozy chairs in Gorilla.

Xinlong barely makes it a half hour before he regrets his decision.

His knee is throbbing, and he instantly knows that he's overdone it today. He must've walked on it too much, done more with it than he can handle. Junseo and Jiahao can't drop everything and leave now, not with the show starting so soon, but he doesn't know who else to ask.

Geonwoo walks into Gorilla wearing casual clothing, about five minutes before they go on air. Xinlong takes a quick peek at tonight's schedule and sees that his ex-boyfriend has a promo to start the show and then nothing else.

Xinlong briefly thinks about asking Geonwoo to drive him home. He can't tell if it's a horrible idea or not.

They don't speak until Geonwoo returns from his opening segment, Xinlong congratulating him on a job well done. It's while they're talking that Geonwoo realizes that something is wrong. He's always been annoyingly perceptive like that.

"You okay?" Geonwoo asks suddenly, concerned. His voice is soft, quiet enough that the others in Gorilla probably can't hear them.

"I'm…" Xinlong starts. He wants to lie at first, telling himself that he's strong enough to push through the rest of the night. Then, he winces as the throbbing in his knee intensifies. It gives him away immediately. "I shouldn't have come tonight. My knee really fucking hurts."

Geonwoo freezes for a moment, his eyes darting nervously around the room. "I—uh, I can leave early, you know, if you need someone to drive you home…" Geonwoo sounds uncertain, and Xinlong can see that his mind is racing. He's well aware of how much the older boy can overthink things.

"I would appreciate that." The words are out before Xinlong can take them back, before he can begin to regret agreeing to Geonwoo's offer.

Xinlong slowly stands up with the help of his crutches. Of course, Junseo and Jiahao both notice, both of them turning to face him. He can see the way their faces drop when they see Geonwoo standing next to Xinlong, when they see the two exes clearly planning to leave Gorilla together.

"What are you two doing?" Junseo questions, cautious.

Xinlong gulps. "Oh, uh—Geonwoo's driving me home. My knee really hurts today."

He hopes the explanation is good enough.

Junseo looks like he's going to say something, mouth opening before Jiahao interrupts him. "Great! Drive safely you two," Jiahao says with a smile, elbowing Junseo in the side.

"Drive safe," Junseo grumbles, turning back towards his monitor.

They leave as soon as the conversation ends, heading to the back entrance of the building where Geonwoo has always parked. The older boy walks at a slow pace so that Xinlong can keep up. He tries to ignore the warm feeling that spreads across his chest, knows he needs to avoid it when it involves Geonwoo.

The drive is, unsurprisingly, awkward. Xinlong doesn't really know how to start a normal conversation with Geonwoo anymore. They've gotten okay at being mature around one another recently, even if there's always a strange tension in the air.

When it comes to Geonwoo, Xinlong knows that it's easier to yell—to say things that he doesn't really mean. He's not mad at Geonwoo right now, not even a little bit, but it's still harder to be together when they aren't exchanging cruel words.

"So…does Creative have any plans for you going forward? You know, while I'm out." Xinlong supposes that's not a terrible way to start a conversation.

Geonwoo chuckles. "Not really, I guess. Junseo wants me to win a singles title—I'm not so sure about the idea, though."

"You should. You get to be on your own for once, why not try out something new?"

"I feel bad, Xinlong."

Oh. That wasn't the answer Xinlong was expecting.

"I wouldn't have the opportunity for a solo run in the first place if you weren't hurt. It feels wrong to just…take advantage of that. It doesn't feel fair to you." It seems that Geonwoo has put a lot of thought into this, and Xinlong does get where he's coming from, but he still thinks that his tag partner should take the opportunity.

"I would support you, if you wanted to accept Junseo's offer." Xinlong's being honest with Geonwoo. He really wants the older boy to know that he doesn't mind at all.

"Really?" Geonwoo sounds genuinely suprised. "I'll—I'll talk to Junseo about it. If you want me to."

"I do. You're popular with the fans, you know? And it'll make for good storytelling."

"Yeah, yeah. You're right."

They're pulling up to Xinlong's apartment soon after, the vibe between them not nearly as uncomfortable as it was before. It's strange, Xinlong thinks, how they've been able to enjoy each other's company like this again. He welcomes the feeling, though—he can't be certain that this new thing between them will last.

Geonwoo grabs Xinlong's crutches from the back seat of his car, then walks the younger boy over to the door of his apartment. Xinlong tries to stop the smile that slips onto his face at the small gestures.

"Do you need anything else? You have everything you need in your apartment? Oh! You ate dinner right?" Geonwoo's questions feel like rapid fire.

Xinlong swallows, "I didn't eat…but it's fine! I can make some—"

"No! Uh, wait." Geonwoo trips over his own words. "I mean, you're in a lot of pain today. Let me make you something. Uh—shit—if that's okay?"

Maybe Xinlong should deny the offer and just order takeout, or even settle for some cheap microwave dinner, but he would be lying if he said he didn't want a reason to spend more time with Geonwoo.

Still, it's a terrible idea. Who knows if they can handle being alone together so casually after everything, what if—

"Sure," Xinlong agrees. "I have a bunch of stuff in my pantry, anyway."

Geonwoo beams at him, and suddenly Xinlong feels like there's no way he made the wrong choice. He unlocks his apartment door, letting Geonwoo in for the first time in a while.

He remembers the last time he let Geonwoo in his apartment, he remembers it well, but he'll get hard if he lets himself think about it.

Xinlong breathes a sigh of relief when he plops onto his couch, setting his crutches aside. It'll feel great to finally get his brace off after wearing it for a few hours, and he can hear the really nice ice pack he has in his freezer calling his name.

He waits a few seconds, then starts to get up—he really does need to ice his knee and get some more pain meds in his system. As soon as he does though, Geonwoo helps him sit back down on the couch gently.

"Huh?" Xinlong blinks up at the older boy, confused.

"I'll grab you whatever you need. Just rest, okay?"

Xinlong sighs. He always feels like he's weighing others down when he lets them do such easy tasks for him. "I just need my ice pack, and my pain meds. Uh, the ice pack is in the freezer and the bottle of meds is on the kitchen counter."

Geonwoo nods, smiling at him as he disappears into the kitchen to grab what Xinlong needs. In the time that the older boy is gone, Xinlong puts up the recliner on his couch—finally able to elevate his leg.

By the time Xinlong is situated and comfortable, Geonwoo is back with both the meds and the ice pack. He also has a glass of ice water, setting it on the table next to Xinlong.

"Here you go," Geonwoo says while handing him the ice pack. "Is fried rice okay?"

Xinlong could start drooling at just the thought of Geonwoo's fried rice—he'd missed the older boy's cooking so much.

"That sounds good. Oh, and Geonwoo." he plays with the hem of the blanket he has laid over his lap while he speaks. "Thank you. This is all really kind of you."

The older boy smiles down at him, though it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "You don't need to thank me, it's the least I should be doing."

Geonwoo leaves to go make dinner after that, and Xinlong struggles to process what the other boy just said as he sits and stares at the wall for a minute or two.

Is Geonwoo doing this because he feels bad? Does he feel like he has to make it up to me because of everything?

Xinlong has to force himself out of spiraling, grabbing his phone so he has something else to focus on.

When he opens his phone, there's a few new messages waiting for him.

Junseo, 8:59 PM

Let me know if you need anything.

Be careful, please.

Jiahao, 9:17 PM

Have fun ;P

Don't do anything stupid

He sighs, swiping away the messages so he doesn't have to think about responding to them and scrolls mindlessly on Instagram to pass the time.

Once he's taken the pain meds and gotten the ice pack situated on his knee, the pain becomes more manageable. Still uncomfortable, but it's an improvement. Xinlong almost falls asleep on the couch like that, his eyes drooping shut as his grip on his phone loosens.

"Longie." Geonwoo's voice prevents him from falling asleep right there. Xinlong rubs at his eyes, a pout on his lips as he's forced to wake up. Geonwoo hands him a bowl of steaming fried rice, and it smells like heaven.

"I'm gonna head out if you don't need anything else, okay?" Geonwoo tells him. Xinlong wants to come up with something he needs, but there's nothing more at the moment and he'd feel pathetic if he made the older boy stay just because he wants him to.

"I'm good now. Thank you, really." Xinlong doesn't know how to thank Geonwoo enough—he didn't have to help the younger boy at all tonight, but he did anyway.

Geonwoo places his hand on the handle of the front door, saying goodbye to Xinlong.

In that moment, Xinlong means to say goodbye back, but something entirely different comes out of his mouth.

"Will you come over on Thursday too?"

Geonwoo freezes, slowly turning to look at Xinlong. His mouth hangs open a bit, a suprised look on his face. "…You want me to?"

"Yeah," Xinlong mumbles, "it would be nice."

Slowly, Geonwoo nods. "Okay, I'll come over. Uh—bye, sleep well, Longie."

Geonwoo is out the door in an instant, but Xinlong didn't miss the way his cheeks were dusted a light pink. He thinks he might be blushing too, his embarrassment about the last few minutes evident.

He ends up turning on some YouTube video to fall asleep, letting it lull him to sleep. Yet, despite the noise of the video, Xinlong can't get Geonwoo out of his head.

Shit.

Xinlong is frustrated these days.

It's been a few weeks now that him and Geonwoo have been more distant—and it's getting worse every day.

At first, he figured it was just a standard rough patch, the kind of thing that would only last a few days at most. But now, as they approach the end of an awkward two weeks, Xinlong is losing hope.

Any kisses they share are short, nothing passionate or breathtaking like he's used to. They haven't been intimate in weeks, and they hardly cuddle anymore.

The two of them barely even talk to each other, only exchanging quick words at work and at home.

It hurts.

"Welcome home, baby," Xinlong greets Geonwoo as he walks through the front door of their apartment. Geonwoo greets him back them gives him a short peck on the lips. The younger boy wishes so desperately his boyfriend would let him have more.

Geonwoo is quieter than usual today, completely silent as he begins cooking dinner. Xinlong stands on the other side of the kitchen, shifting his weight from leg to the other awkwardly.

"Geonwoo," Xinlong starts. "Are you okay?"

The older boy lets out a long sigh. "I don't know? I'm just tired."

Xinlong raises an eyebrow at that; his boyfriend sounds slightly irritated. Weird. "Baby, you sound annoyed…there's really nothing else?"

"Xinlong," Geonwoo groans. "I'm not upset with you. I'm just not in a good mood."

"Why? Is everything—"

"I said I'm fine."

Xinlong decides to leave it alone after that, blinking back tears as he looks down at the kitchen's tiled floor.

"I'm gonna go sit in the living room."

"I'll join you soon."

Xinlong knows that something is wrong, knows that his boyfriend is not usually like this. He wishes so desperately that he could help, that Geonwoo would open up to him.

It hurts. It hurts so much.

·༻𐫱༺·

Xinlong is so nervous Thursday morning that he nearly throws up, dry heaving over the toilet for a good minute or two.

He thankfully gets it over with before Jiahao comes over, but he still feels sick to his stomach as he opens the door and welcomes his friend in.

Jiahao is helping him with some exercises for his knee, a near daily occurrence for them. They engage in some casual conversation while Jiahao assists him in his exercises, but it's when they're finished that the older boy notices that something is wrong.

Jiahao is ordering takeout for the two of them, distracted, just as Xinlong gets a notification on his phone.

He's suddenly glad they decided to use Jiahao's phone to place that takeout order.

Geonwoo Kim, 11:36 AM

Hi!

We never talked about what time we want to meet today lol.

I'm free all day.

Me, 11:37 AM

I'm hanging out with Jiahao for a bit, but I'll let you know when he leaves

Geonwoo Kim, 11:37 AM

Hanging out or doing physical therapy?

Me, 11:38 AM

Ugh, physical therapy.

But he's buying me takeout now.

Geonwoo Kim, 11:39 AM

Lucky…

I never get cheat days anymore :(

"Who are you texting?"

Xinlong yelps, almost dropping his phone as he jumps at the sound of Jiahao's voice. He flushes bright red as Jiahao looks at him, smirking.

"Well," his friend raises an eyebrow. "Who's got you smiling like that?"

"No one!" Xinlong lies, his words obviously suspicious.

"Is it 'no one', or do you not wanna tell me because it's Geonwoo."

"How did you know?" Xinlong whines.

"You're not subtle, you know?" Jiahao points an accusatory finger at him. "First you cry because you miss him—"

"I was high on painkillers!"

"—then you let him drive you home. I bet you two even spent some time together."

"He made me dinner," Xinlong admits, ashamed.

"And now you're texting him. What's next? Sleeping with him again?" Jiahao clearly says it as a joke, but Xinlong feels his heart rate speed up suddenly.

"Well…"

"You're joking. Xinlong, you just had surgery like a month—"

"No, wait! It was before my surgery!"

Jiahao's jaw drops, his eyes widening. "You…when you were screaming at each other…"

"Yes! Sometimes!" Xinlong has his head buried in his hands. He's so embarrassed he thinks he might die.

"Oh my God," Jiahao sighs. "You two give me the biggest headache."

The silence in the room is suffocating for a few moments, and Xinlong keeps his head down—too embarrased and too ashamed to look Jiahao in the eye.

After what seems like forever, Jiahao finally speaks again. "I'm not mad at you,"

"You're not?"

"Of course not. It's just," Jiahao sighs. "Xinlong, I watched you break down that night, I was the one who was here comforting you. I watched everything over the last couple months, too. I'm not mad, and I support you, I'm just concerned."

Xinlong finally looks up. "I know…I'm really grateful to you for that."

"I care about you a lot, and you're one of my closest friends. I just don't want to see you get hurt like that again. Promise me you'll take it slow, this new thing you have going on with Geonwoo."

"I will. I promise." Xinlong isn't quite sure what his thing with Geonwoo is yet, but he's well aware they need to be careful. He doesn't want to ruin everything between them a second time.

Jiahao pulls him in a for hug, his presence comforting as Xinlong's thoughts become impossibly loud. It's nice that he has support right now, especially with how uncertain everything with Geonwoo makes him.

He wants to be irresponsible, wants to jump into it and go back to how things were—but it's not possible. If they do that, he knows it'll all fall apart again like it did before. He can't lose Geonwoo again, not when he's been handed a chance to make things right with him.

Xinlong knows that he can't mess this up.

·༻𐫱༺·

Xinlong finally texts Geonwoo again after Jiahao leaves, the nausea intensifying as he types.

Me, 2:08 PM

Jiahao just left my place!

You can come over whenever :)

Geonwoo Kim, 2:13 PM

Okay, cool!

I'll head over soon.

Should I grab stuff to make dinner later?

Me, 2:15 PM

That would be nice!

Thank you.

Geonwoo Kim, 2:16 PM

Of course :)

I'll see you soon, Longie.

Xinlong spends the entire time pacing—or, more accurately, miserably walking in a circle with his crutches—in the living room of his apartment.

When he hears a knock at the door he takes a few deep breaths, trying to get his nerves under control. Only once he's ready does Xinlong finally open the door.

Geonwoo looks stunning, standing there in straight jeans and one of his favorite blue flannels. Xinlong doesn't know if he should allow himself to have these thoughts about his ex-boyfriend, not with how uncertain everything feels.

"Hey," Xinlong says, then realizes he should say more. "Come in, please." He steps aside to let the older boy into the apartment, closing the door behind him.

Geonwoo greets him back, slipping off his shoes and placing them neatly next to the door. "Where should I put these?" Geonwoo shows Xinlong the grocery bags he has in his hands.

"Oh! On the kitchen counter is fine, use the fridge if you need to."

It's about three in the afternoon now, and since they have a few hours before dinner, the two of them end up on Xinlong's couch with PlayStation 3 controllers in their hands. They're playing an older WWE game, something they always used to do together, and Xinlong is getting his ass kicked.

"Not fair," Xinlong pouts. "Why are you so good at these?"

Geonwoo laughs. "You know how much I played these growing up."

It's true, Xinlong does know that—but he still hates that he loses every single time that he and Geonwoo play together.

Some things never change, even the small ones.

They end up sitting there for a few hours, losing track of time. By the time Xinlong even checks the clock again, its nearly six and his stomach is grumbling.

Geonwoo stretches after winning again, a satisfied smile plastered on his face.

Xinlong, on the other hand, sighs as he sets his controller down—defeated. "This game is stupid," he whines. He's being petty, but Geonwoo laughs anyway.

Xinlong missed this, and he feels like something in his life is finally taking a turn for the better.

"Ready for dinner?" Geonwoo asks.

The younger boy nods, yawning as he stretches his arms out.

"Fuck," Xinlong curses, suddenly remembering something when he feels a sharp pain in his knee. "I need to take more pain meds."

"Do you need me to grab them?"

"No, it's okay. I wanna get up and move a bit anyways." Xinlong grabs his crutches from next to the couch and gets up, letting Geonwoo head into the kitchen first. It sucks, using them all the time, but his physical therapist assured him that he shouldn't be on them for any longer than a week now.

He watches as Geonwoo makes dinner; ingredients for soup along with homemade bread laid out on the kitchen counter. Back then, Xinlong would wrap his arms around the older boy's waist as he worked, burying his head into his t-shirt.

He can't have that anymore.

Xinlong may still be in love with Geonwoo, but he has no idea where his ex-boyfriend's feelings lie. What he said when they broke up sticks with Xinlong, reminding him that it's safer to just be friends.

At least they can have a normal conversation while Geonwoo cooks, Xinlong's grateful that they don't scream at each other anymore.

Dinner is finished before he knows it, the two of them sitting at the dining table together. It's comfortable and familiar, and it's another sign that things are moving in the right direction.

"Thanks again, for cooking," Xinlong says before shoving another spoonful of soup into his mouth.

"I don't mind, I enjoy it."

"How much do I owe you for—"

"Nothing."

Xinlong feels guilty immediately. He can't just accept this for free. "But…"

"It's really fine, let me do something nice for you, Longie."

He feels conflicted about it, but Geonwoo is one of the most stubborn people he knows. "Okay," Xinlong sighs.

The rest of the night is pleasant. The two of them end up talking for a while after dinner, the conversation flowing easily. Still, they don't talk about their past, and it remains the elephant in the room—constantly on Xinlong's mind.

He's sad when Geonwoo has to leave, but he knows that the older boy needs to be at the training center early the next morning. They stand in the doorway awkwardly for a few moments as they say goodbye to one another.

"Thanks for coming," Xinlong says. "I had a good time."

It feels an awful lot like a date, even though it wasn't. Xinlong looks up at Geonwoo, and his eyes keep falling to the older boy's lips. He feels a little dizzy with how badly he wants to kiss Geonwoo.

"Me too, I'll come by again sometime soon." Geonwoo says the words like they're a promise. Xinlong wants to believe they are.

Maybe he's just imagining it, but Xinlong thinks that Geonwoo's eyes drop to his lips too. They're close like this, and the younger boy thinks he might be blushing.

It would be so easy to just lean in and—

"Goodnight, Longie." Geonwoo steps back and out of the apartment, waving as he shuts the door and Xinlong is instantly thrown back into reality.

Oh. He might've made that a little awkward.

Xinlong forgets that Geonwoo definitely knows what he looks like when he wants to be kissed. He heads to his room for the night, embarrassed as he thinks about their interaction at the door.

Somehow, the embarrassment doesn't stop Xinlong from fantasizing as he lays in bed—as he thinks about kissing Geonwoo softly. Everything that happened between them sexually over the last couple months had been fueled by anger and pure lust, no room left over for anything sweet and slow.

Xinlong can't forget how it was, and he can't stop thinking about this soft version of Geonwoo, about what it would be like to fuck him now.

So, he lays in his bed, entire body flushed as he strokes his cock desperately. It is, perhaps, one of the most shameful things he's ever done, but Xinlong can't help it when it feels so good.

He comes quickly, Geonwoo's name falling past his lips as he spills white over his hand and abdomen.

He's so fucking screwed.

When it comes to wrestling, Xinlong and Geonwoo are almost never off their game.

Their in ring chemistry is something that most tag teams can only dream of, and it's always felt natural to them.

Today, as they train together, is one of those rare days where their chemistry is off.

Training days often consist of the two of them going against each other, or even just practicing individual moves with one another.

It's good practice, usually, but Geonwoo is uncharacteristically distracted today, and his focus obviously isn't on wrestling. Xinlong can easily tell that something is wrong, that Geonwoo is bothered, but he waits to say anything until they make it back to their shared apartment.

"Baby," Xinlong calls softly. "Are you doing okay? You seemed distracted today."

Geonwoo frowns, setting his bag down a little too hard on the bed. "I wasn't distracted, it's fine. I'm fine."

Xinlong tries not to be frustrated. This keeps happening with Geonwoo, where something is clearly wrong and he refuses to open up.

"Geonwoo, I told you that you can talk to me."

"And I told you I'm fine."

"You're obviously not!" Xinlong huffs. "Something is up with you recently, and I just wish you would talk to me about it instead of bottling it up like this."

The older boy groans, running a hand through his hair. "I don't want to, Xinlong. Just leave it be."

"But, it's—"

"Just let it go! Please." Geonwoo grabs a change of clothes, then pulls his shirt over his head.

"You are so fucking stubborn sometimes!" Xinlong turns around and leaves their bedroom, deciding to try and calm down somewhere else.

That night, when Xinlong goes to lay down, Geonwoo is already sleeping—his back turned away from the younger boy's side of the bed.

Xinlong hates this.

·༻𐫱༺·

Things are beginning to get easier as Xinlong approaches the end of the second month of recovery.

He doesn't need crutches anymore, though he still keeps them around just in case, and has swapped them with a light brace. It means that he's able to walk, but still has two take it slow and not put too much pressure on his left leg.

Things are going good with Geonwoo, too. They feel like friends again, and the older boy has even stopped by Xinlong's apartment to hang out a few times. The two of them also see each other when Xinlong tags along with Junseo and Jiahao to DPW's weekly show.

A few of their coworkers have looked at Xinlong and Geonwoo in shock when they see them having a normal interaction backstage. Xinlong tries to feel only a little embarrassed about it.

The pain has gotten better too, at least a little bit. Most days it's reduced to a dull ache, and he's able to function decently well.

Today is not one of those days.

It's a Tuesday, which means Xinlong is sitting in his usual chair in Gorilla, watching the monitor playing the show in front of him. Geonwoo is officially in the title picture for one of the promotion's mid-card titles: the DPW International Championship. Xinlong's happy for him.

Geonwoo is currently in the middle of a singles bout. It's a good match, and Xinlong would be a lot more invested if his knee wasn't in so much pain.

He tells himself he can make it through, that the show is almost over, but it's getting harder by the second. He has another hour and a half before he can take more pain meds, but the previous ones have already worn off—leaving him to deal with the pain without their assistance.

Xinlong was having such a good day too, and now he's annoyed. He suddenly wants nothing more than to go home.

Unsurprisingly, when Geonwoo pushes past the curtain to Gorilla after his match is over, he picks up on Xinlong's distress right away.

"Need me to drive you home?"

Xinlong has never agreed to anything faster in his life, and he's relieved at how fast Geonwoo gets showered and changed—it feels like the two of them are heading over to Geonwoo's car in no time.

Geonwoo opens the door for him and, gently, attempts to help Xinlong get settled. But the younger boy is irritated and in pain, and it's all too much for him.

"I don't need any fucking help!" Xinlong doesn't mean to shout, but it happens regardless. It feels as if all he's done for the last two months is show weakness. He doesn't want to be seen as weak—he wants to be able to handle everything by himself.

Geonwoo looks taken aback, his hands falling to his side. He takes a step back, nodding. "Alright," he says quietly. The older boy is silent as they drive off, focused on the road.

Xinlong's annoyance has faded now, replaced with a wave of guilt that makes him feel sick.

He spends the entire ride to his place convinced that he's ruined everything. Xinlong tries to stop himself from spiraling, but by the time Geonwoo is walking him to his door he can't stop the tears. He prays that the other boy doesn't notice, or that he doesn't say anything.

Of course, Xinlong is never that lucky.

He's just starting to close the front door when Geonwoo stops him, looking at Xinlong with his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"What's wrong?"

Xinlong freezes for a moment, then breaks into a sob, his body trembling. In that moment, he feels so small. He doesn't want to burden Geonwoo with this.

He tries to speak, but finds that the words won't come out. Each attempt to respond is more pathetic than the last.

"Let's go sit down, okay?" Geonwoo suggests, and Xinlong nods, letting himself be led to the couch. They sit down together and Xinlong averts his gaze, looking downward and sniffling as the tears continue to fall.

Then, as he's desperate for comfort, he makes an impulsive decision. Xinlong surges forward, wrapping his arms around Geonwoo and burrying his face in the older boy's shoulder. Geonwoo instantly responds, his arms wrapping around Xinlong securely.

Xinlong sobs harder as Geonwoo holds him, every bad emotion is his system manifesting as an ugly breakdown—the kind of thing that he didn't exactly want his ex-boyfriend to see.

He doesn't know how long he cries for, but by the time he lifts his head Geonwoo's shirt is wet with tears. Geonwoo looks so worried, and once again Xinlong doesn't know how to handle that worry being directed at him.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Geonwoo asks, gentle.

Xinlong nods, the motion small. "I…I yelled and—" He feels the tears begin to form again, his eyes burning as he blinks them away. "I ruined everything. We were finally friends again and I fucked everything up, I'm such—"

"Stop," Geonwoo interrupts him. "You didn't ruin anything, Longie. You had a long day, right? It's okay, I'm not upset."

Xinlong sniffles, wiping his tears. "Really?"

"Mhm," Geonwoo hums. "I really like this 'being friends again' thing, too, it's a lot better than the arguing."

Xinlong laughs at that. "Yeah."

It's the closest they've gotten to talking about their past arguments so far. It's strange, Xinlong thinks, that he wishes they could talk about it more.

Then again, he's scared—and he thinks Geonwoo might be too.

Geonwoo talks with Xinlong about other things until he's fully calmed down, until his tears have dried. Only after that does he leave the younger boy's apartment, double-checking that Xinlong is okay before he shuts the door.

Part of Xinlong is ashamed that he let himself cry in front of Geonwoo like that. On the other hand, he needed the older boy's comfort more than he would care to admit.

No one else has ever been able to calm him down—to comfort him—like Geonwoo has.

·༻𐫱༺·

It's been about two weeks since Xinlong's breakdown, and things haven't really changed between him and Geonwoo.

It's on a Wednesday that he gets a series of excited texts from Geonwoo.

Geonwoo, 3:51 PM

Longie!! Guess what?

Me, 3:53 PM

What's up?

Geonwoo, 3:57 PM

I'm gonna be winning the International Championship at our next PPV!!

The one on Saturday.

Xinlong's heart drops. He's happy for his tag partner, of course he is, but the show is across the country in Miami—which means he can't make it.

He feels overwhelmingly sad that he can't be there for Geonwoo, but he knows there's nothing that can be done about it. He needs to be at home for his physical therapy appointments and recovery.

Me, 3:57 PM

Congrats!!

You deserve it.

I'll be cheering you on from home!

Geonwoo, 3:58 PM

Thank you :)

Xinlong likes the message just as Jiahao knocks on his door. He's coming to pick him up for physical therapy, and despite the familiar routine, he still dreads going.

These appointments all feel the same to Xinlong. They have him do exercises, all of which are uncomfortable, then send him on his way.

"Alright, considering you're only in week ten of your recovery, everything looks pretty good. We're gonna send you to a specialist in about two weeks to see if you can begin some more intensive activities."

It's good to hear, especially with how much of a struggle the last ten weeks have been. His physical therapist's words leave him in a good mood for the rest of the day, make him feel like all of this hasn't been for nothing.

"Well, look at you!" Jiahao nudges him with his elbow, smiling wide. "I've never seen you so happy after physical therapy before."

"It's just so relieving to hear that my work to recover is paying off," Xinlong can't stop smiling, his jaw aching.

Jiahao lights up suddenly, turning towards Xinlong as they settle into the older boy's car. "Wanna go somewhere for dinner?"

·༻𐫱༺·

Saturday comes faster than Xinlong expects.

With physical therapy on Wednesday, and Geonwoo coming over again on Thursday, it feels like the week flies by.

Geonwoo cooks for himself and Xinlong again when he's over, and the younger boy is really starting to love this part of his week. It's strange, that he's friends with his ex-boyfriend again, but he welcomes it with open arms.

That doesn't mean he doesn't struggle with it, though.

Xinlong has to put forth a considerable amount of effort to not kiss Geonwoo when they're alone. It's getting more difficult each time Geonwoo is over, which is turning out to be every Thursday—sometimes other additional days throughout the week too.

He has to remind himself that it's a horrible idea every time. It does absolutely nothing to quell the desire he feels.

Xinlong is embarrassed by the amount of times he's thought about being romantically involved with Geonwoo again. He's even more embarrassed by the amount of times he's gotten off to the thought of the older boy.

He situates himself on his couch on Saturday night, about ten minutes before the Pay-Per-View is scheduled to start. Junseo had let him watch it for free, told him the company would pay for it. Xinlong supposes it's one of the only perks of being one of DPW's biggest stars.

Xinlong sends Geonwoo a text that he's not sure the older boy will see until later.

Me, 6:53 PM

Good luck!!

Then, right at seven, the show begins. Xinlong cares about every match, but the two he really cares about are Zihao and Suren's defense of the tag titles and Geonwoo's title match.

The first of those two matches happens to be the second on the card, with Zihao and Suren retaining in a captivating two out of three falls match. Xinlong sends them both a message telling them how great the match was, and that he's proud of them.

The second to last match is Geonwoo's. Xinlong knows he'll do great.

The gear Geonwoo is wearing tonight is black and gold, with hints of dark gray. Xinlong knows it well—his version of the gear is in his closet, and it's his absolute favorite.

Geonwoo wore Xinlong's favorite gear on the night he's gonna win a title.

Xinlong's heart swells with the kind of feeling that scares him, the kind of feeling that isn't platonic enough to be safe.

The match is nothing short of amazing.

Xinlong has always been in awe of Geonwoo's ability as a professional wrestler, but this is easily one of the best performances of his career.

When he wins the match, Xinlong can see the joy written all over Geonwoo's face. He's unbelievably proud of his tag partner.

Xinlong makes a point to text Geonwoo congratulations after the match, also letting the older boy know how much he loved it.

He expects a text back, not to have Geonwoo calling him twenty minutes later, during the main event.

"Longie!" Geonwoo's voice rings through the speaker of his phone.

"Geonwoo, hi! That was—you did amazing." Xinlong thinks his palms are sweating. He's so nervous. Why did Geonwoo choose to call him? Why not someone else?

"Thank you," Geonwoo says. "And also thank you for pushing me to accept this opportunity. I can't thank you enough."

"See, I was right! You're gonna be great, champ," Xinlong chuckles, a smile that Geonwoo can't see lighting up his features.

"Shit, Junseo needs me—I'll see you soon." Geonwoo is hanging up the call shortly after, Xinlong able to sneak in a quick 'see you soon' before it ends.

Xinlong leans his head back on the couch cushions for a moment or two after the call is over, giving his heart a minute to slow down. Only after his heart rate is reasonable and he's taken a series of deep breaths, does he look at his phone again.

There's one new message; a picture from Geonwoo.

Geonwoo is standing next to Junseo in the photo, his new title slung on his shoulder. He has the most genuine smile on his face, dimples on display, as he looks at the camera.

He's beautiful. Everything about Geonwoo is beautiful to Xinlong.

Xinlong can't wait to see him again.

·༻𐫱༺·

He ends up seeing Geonwoo the following Tuesday when he's sitting in Gorilla, distracted as he scrolls on his phone. It's only when Geonwoo taps his shoulder gently that Xinlong looks up. He hadn't noticed the older boy was here.

"Hi, Longie." Geonwoo is in casual clothing today, and that probably means he has a promo segment on tonight's show, which is nothing out of the ordinary for a recently crowned champion. He also has said championship thrown over his shoulder. It looks good on him, like it belongs there.

The two of them talk for a while, and Xinlong enjoys every second of it. He had missed Geonwoo, in the short time they were apart. He tries to remind himself to not be so excited, to not get so attached to Geonwoo again, but his heart ignores him.

His tag partner eventually has to leave to do his segment on the show, smiling at Xinlong one last time before he pushes the curtain open and walks out.

"So…" Jiahao turns around in his chair, pulling his headset down so it sits around his neck. "You two seem friendly."

"Yeah, because we're friends again," Xinlong says, like it's obvious.

Jiahao barks out a laugh. "No, I mean you look like you wanna kiss each other."

Xinlong's cheeks burn, color spreading across his face. "Hao…"

The chair swings back around, Jiahao snickering as he puts his headset back on.

Xinlong just goes back on his phone after that, too embarrased to deal with Jiahao's teasing any longer. Despite that, his friend's words linger in his mind.

I mean you look like you wanna kiss each other.

It's stupid, it's so stupid, but Xinlong really hopes that Geonwoo wants to kiss him, too.

·༻𐫱༺·

Xinlong is a little over three months into his recovery, and after meeting with a specialist he's been told he's allowed to do some light exercises related to wrestling. This, so far, has meant running the ropes and other simple things.

It feels freeing to be in the ring again, even if what he can do is extremely limited.

In addition to physical therapy, he now goes to DPW's training center twice a week. It finally feels like he's moving towards an achievable goal.

Things haven't progressed much with Geonwoo, and Xinlong hasn't really expected them to. They hang out at Xinlong's apartment and they see each other at work, and he can confidently say that the two of them are friends again. However, there's always something gnawing at the back of his mind.

Xinlong wants to be more than friends again.

Everytime he thinks about it, he has to remind himself that it's a terrible idea, and it's getting tiring. At the same time, Xinlong doesn't know if it's even possible to have more with Geonwoo again. He has no way of knowing how the older boy feels, and for all he knows, Geonwoo may just want to remain friends.

It's safe, it's easy, and it works.

At about four months into his recovery, his limited activity in the ring is much easier. There's fewer days where his knee bothers him, and he's able to move pretty well. He does a lot of his at home exercises alone, and Jiahao and Junseo barely have to come over anymore. If they do, it's just to visit Xinlong—not to take care of him.

Geonwoo still comes over, and he comes over a lot.

Tonight is one of those nights. The two of them are sitting on Xinlong's couch, right beside each other. They're close like this, but not as close as the younger boy would like them to be. There's an older WWE Pay-Per-View playing on the TV, as usual, and Xinlong finds that he can't focus on it—his attention fixed on the man next to him. He doesn't even realize he's staring until Geonwoo speaks.

"What's wrong?" Geonwoo asks, curious.

Xinlong wouldn't say anything is wrong, but he is bothered by the fact that he can't be closer to Geonwoo, that he can't kiss him.

It's so stupid. He's so stupid.

"It's nothing," Xinlong lies.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah…" They're a little closer like this, and Xinlong can't stop the way his eyes fall to Geonwoo's lips. He shouldn't be having these thoughts, he needs to snap out of it. But, Geonwoo's looking at his lips too, his breathing heavy.

Here's the thing: Xinlong likes to think he has good self-control, likes to think that he's mature. Somehow, even after all this time, Geonwoo has always destroyed that self-control. He's been Xinlong's biggest weakness since he first developed a crush on him, since before they formed Euphoria together.

Geonwoo looks so beautiful right now, his eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly, his plump lips formed into a small pout.

Xinlong can control himself, he really can, he swears that he can.

It would be so easy to back away, to move to the other end of the couch and pretend the last minute or so never happened. It would be so easy to just be friends, to hang out normally. He won't do it—he won't let that last bit of self-control slip away.

They lean in at the same time, and when their lips meet it feels electric. Instantly, Geonwoo's hand is gently crading the side of Xinlong's face, pulling the younger boy in and deepening the kiss. Xinlong feels dizzy, his heart and mind racing as Geonwoo kisses him gently. It's soft and perfect, it's everything he's imagined—everything he's missed.

They only break apart once they're out of breath, and then immediately connect their lips again. Xinlong has a hand on Geonwoo's waist now, and he never wants to let go. He's not sure how long they kiss like that, but Xinlong eventually begins to crave more, his hand moving lower until it reaches Geonwoo's inner thigh.

Slowly, Geonwoo breaks the kiss and then begins placing tiny kisses along the edge of Xinlong's jaw. Xinlong feels heat rush south as the older boy's lips trail kisses down his neck. Geonwoo latches onto a spot just above his collarbone, and Xinlong throws his head back with a whine, his fingers squeezing Geonwoo's thigh.

He's filling out in his sweatpants quicker than he'd care to admit, especially with Geonwoo sucking marks into the smooth skin of his neck.

"Fuck," Xinlong whines, his hips bucking upwards without his permission. "Need more, please."

"You're so needy," Geonwoo coos. "It's so cute."

Xinlong is just about to beg more when Geonwoo's hand cups his cock through his sweatpants, an embarrassingly loud moan falling past his lips. Then, the older boy's hand is dipping past the waistband of Xinlong's pants and boxers, pulling them down just enough to free his almost fully hard cock.

Geonwoo's long fingers wrap around Xinlong's length, his thumb gathering the pre-cum that spills from his tip and using it to ease the slide as his hand works over Xinlong's cock.

It feels so good, a million times better than Xinlong's own hand, and he's fully hard not long after. Geonwoo continues to lick and suck at the younger boy's neck as his hand strokes his cock, the motions slow as he takes his time with Xinlong.

"Geonwoo," Xinlong calls, and Geonwoo looks up at him immediately to show that he's listening, placing one final kiss on the spot he just marked.

"What do you need, baby?"

Being called 'baby' again sends a shiver down Xinlong's spine, his cock twitching in Geonwoo's hand. "Need you inside me, please."

Geonwoo kisses him again, groaning as he does so. "Anything for you," he says, after they break apart.

Xinlong wants to ask Geonwoo for everything. He wants to be greedy, wants to kiss softly and go on dates, wants to call the older boy his boyfriend again.

The horny part of his brain, which is certainly the louder part right now, tells him that it doesn't matter—not with Geonwoo's hands on him and the promise of his cock being buried inside Xinlong soon.

It doesn't take them long to relocate to Xinlong's bed, and he finds himself lying down on his plush sheets before he knows it, with Geonwoo above him.

Geonwoo is in nothing but his boxers now, the outline of his hard cock through the fabric making Xinlong salivate. Xinlong's pants and boxers are somewhere on the floor, and his t-shirt is riding up just enough to show his toned stomach.

Xinlong is so hard it hurts, his cock leaking onto his tummy as Geonwoo admires the sight before him. He can't help the way he pouts and squirms when his ex-boyfriend looks at him like that.

"So pretty," Geonwoo praises, grabbing the hem of Xinlong's shirt and pulling it up enough to display his nipples. Xinlong shudders as Geonwoo's fingers ghost over his chest, his cock dribbling even more pre-cum in response.

Then, Geonwoo reaches over to Xinlong's bedside dresser, pulling out a bottle of lube from the top drawer. "Condom?" he asks, and the younger boy shakes his head.

"Wanna feel you," Xinlong breathes. "Want you to fill me up, too."

It's a boundary they haven't crossed since they were dating. These last few months, when they've fucked, Geonwoo has always pulled out. Xinlong wants the older boy's cum spilling out of him so bad—he's desperate for it.

Geonwoo curses after he hears what Xinlong said, then takes a deep breath. "I want that, too."

Above him, Geonwoo squirts a generous amount of lube onto his fingers, using his other hand to spread Xinlong's legs further. He's careful as he does so, making sure that Xinlong's left leg is in a comfortable position.

Xinlong has to take a moment to breathe when one of Geonwoo's fingers finally pushes into his hole. The moment feels so much more intimate now, and the older boy is being more gentle with him than he's been since the weeks leading to their break up.

He's able to adjust quickly, begging Geonwoo for two, then three, fingers—the stretch burning in the best way possible. Geonwoo curls his long fingers just right, hitting Xinlong's prostate with each slow thrust. The younger boy trembles, his whimpers echoing across the bedroom.

"Geonwoo, please, need—" Xinlong cuts himself off with a moan, pleasure shooting through his body as Geonwoo fingers brush over that bundles of nerves inside him again.

"Need what, baby?" Geonwoo teases, acting like he doesn't know exactly what Xinlong wants.

Xinlong pouts, his eyes stinging as tears threaten to spill. "Need your cock."

It's embarrassing, to be reduced to a mess by his ex-boyfriend so easily, but Xinlong can't be bothered to care when he's so close to getting what he craves.

Geonwoo apologizes for the teasing by kissing Xinlong, then removes his fingers from his hole carefully. Xinlong immediately hates how empty he feels, but he knows what he's getting soon.

Geonwoo takes off his boxers and wipes his fingers off on them before throwing them on the floor. His cock hangs heavy between his legs, and Xinlong is reminded just how big the older boy is.

He remembers the first time they ever had sex, how he was scared to take his then boyfriend's cock. Back then, Geonwoo was overwhelmingly careful with him—he had wanted everything to be perfect for Xinlong.

Geonwoo treats him so delicately now, too, it vaguely reminds Xinlong of his first time.

Geonwoo squirts lube onto his palm, then uses it to generously coat his cock, hissing at the feeling. Then, he has Xinlong lie on his side slightly, constantly checking to make sure that his knee doesn't hurt.

Only once the two of them are settled does Geonwoo push the tip of his cock into Xinlong's tight hole, working the rest of his length in slowly.

Geonwoo prepped him thoroughly, so it barely hurts when he bottoms out, and Xinlong feels more pleasure than anything else. The older boy checks on him once more, and Xinlong reassures him that he's okay—that he needs Geonwoo to move.

Geonwoo quickly obeys, pulling his cock out of Xinlong until just the tip remains before burying himself inside the younger boy again. The pace is slow, but it's perfect. Xinlong can feel everything like this, can feel Geonwoo so deep he forgets how to breathe.

Xinlong shakes as Geonwoo's cock hits his prostate over and over, unsure how long he's going to be able to hold on. He already feels so close, an endless string of moans falling from his lips.

He thinks he might be crying, the intensity of the moment hitting him suddenly. Xinlong is overwhelmed with not only the physical sensations, but also his own emotions. With Geonwoo right here, as close to Xinlong as he can be, he can't stop the dangerous thoughts he has.

I'm in love with Geonwoo.

I never stopped loving Geonwoo.

It's a terrible idea to love Geonwoo.

Geonwoo, who has to be blissfully unaware of Xinlong's thoughts, wipes the younger boy's tears away. "You doing okay?" he asks, concern laced in the words.

"Yeah," Xinlong nods, whimpering as Geonwoo continues to fuck him like he's the most delicate thing on the planet.

Xinlong is so close he can taste it, and when he tells that to Geonwoo, the older boy's fingers wrap around his cock—stroking it in time with his thrusts.

It doesn't take long after that before Xinlong is coming, white hot pleasure washing over him in intense waves as he spills all over Geonwoo's hand. He comes with a mixture of high-pitched whines and moans of the older boy's name, sniffling as he comes down from his high.

Geonwoo is still fucking into him, his thrusts sloppier, but still just as gentle. "So close," he moans, groaning as he desperately chases his own release.

"Geonwoo," Xinlong whimpers, oversensitive. "Fill me up, please."

That's all it takes for Geonwoo to come, biting his lip hard as he spills into Xinlong's hole. His moans are beautiful, and the younger boy wants to memorize the way Geonwoo looks when he comes.

Then, as the last of his come dribbles from the tip of his cock, Geonwoo shatters every carefully constructed wall in Xinlong's world.

"Longie," Geonwoo moans, breathing heavily. "Love you."

Instantly, Xinlong freezes, his head spinning as he realizes what Geonwoo just said. Suddenly, everything feels like too much, and it's more than he can handle.

The tears that fall now are more prominent, and Xinlong can't hide. Slowly, Geonwoo realizes what words came out of his mouth, his face dropping.

"Pull out," Xinlong commands, perhaps too harshly.

He's shaking when Geonwoo does so, the mixture of lube and cum dripping from his hole making him wince.

Geonwoo looks ashamed, swallowing hard. "Let me clean you up," he says, though it feels a lot like he's asking for permission.

Xinlong nods, and as Geonwoo cleans him up carefully, his thoughts are racing.

He should be overjoyed about what Geonwoo said, but it only made him panic. The two of them loving each other isn't safe, it isn't possible. Xinlong is sure, in that moment, that they'll just fall into the same habits that they did before.

He can't handle the fighting, he can't handle the miscommunication, he can't handle even the thought of losing Geonwoo again.

Xinlong wants Geonwoo more than anything, wants to be together again, but they can't—and he knows that.

Tonight, sleeping with Geonwoo, letting the older boy be so gentle with him—it was all a mistake. He was right, in the end getting close to Geonwoo again was a terrible decision.

The only possible option in Xinlong's brain is to put distance between them, to pretend that this never happened.

So, he lets Geonwoo clean him up, and he can't stop the tears that fall as the older boy hands him a change of clothes.

"Xinlong," Geonwoo says, desperation in his voice. "Could we just talk? About all of this. I can explain—"

"It's better if you just leave."

Geonwoo sighs, conflicted. He looks so sad, it almost makes Xinlong change his mind.

But, as Geonwoo leaves his apartment, and Xinlong feels his heart being crushed—he knows that it's better this way.

The door shuts, and Xinlong breaks instantly, pulling his bedsheets close and sobbing into the fabric. Geonwoo had taken the time to change the comforter for Xinlong, grabbing a clean one from his closet and making sure that the younger boy was good before he left. Geonwoo had spent the night taking care of him, and that fact only makes Xinlong feel more horrible.

Xinlong cries himself to sleep that night, soaking his pillowcase with tears.

He wishes none of this had ever happened.

"You're home late again." Xinlong is beyond disappointed; Geonwoo knows that Thursdays are their hang out nights. They've been their hang out nights since they moved into together half a year ago.

"I was at the gym," Geonwoo explains. His voice gives away that he doesn't care, that he isn't bothered.

Xinlong feels anger build up quickly—this is how it always is with them. At least these days. "We could've gone in the morning. You know that we always spend time together at home on Thursdays." Thursdays are one of their only days off and when they started dating they decided it would be a good idea to spend that time together in any way they could. Usually, this meant relaxing. A lot of times it meant relaxing and good sex, but it's been too long since they've been intimate—they're too busy arguing or barely talking.

"Maybe I didn't want to spend time at home."

Xinlong's heart drops to his stomach. "What the fuck does that mean?"

Geonwoo turns towards him, looking his boyfriend in the eyes. "It means maybe I was out because I don't wanna spend time at home."

"You don't wanna spend time with me. That's what you mean."

"Yeah, it is," Geonwoo chuckles. "Because I'm gonna come home and we're just gonna argue. We're both gonna go to bed pissed again, and we're gonna realize that this isn't fucking working!"

Xinlong stands up at that, slowly walking over to where Geonwoo stands. "We could fix this, we—"

"Don't be fucking dumb! We can't fix this, Xinlong. We've done nothing but fight for weeks and you think this is fixable!"

"I can't lose you," Xinlong begs. He sounds more vunerable than he ever has before. "We still love each other, we can—"

"Speak for yourself, Xinlong."

He feels the tears welling up, unable to stop the way he panics. "You don't love me anymore?"

"I don't think so, no."

"No, no, no! We can just—"

"Xinlong, stop. Just because you want this, just because you want to make this work doesn't mean that I do." He can see the way Geonwoo bites his lip, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to spill. "I'm tired of this, I'm tired of all of it."

"But I love you, Geonwoo. Please…"

"But I don't love you! Not anymore, I don't."

"You're breaking up with me."

"Obviously," Geonwoo huffs.

Xinlong is really crying now, trying not to ugly sob in front of the man who is soon to be his ex-boyfriend.

"Always so fucking emotional," Geonwoo mumbles. Xinlong pretends he doesn't see the tears forming in Geonwoo's eyes, knows he's just lashing out because he's upset. He knows Geonwoo better than he knows anybody. "I'm spending the night at Junseo's." Geonwoo turns around, his gym bag still slung over his shoulder, and opens the door.

Xinlong doesn't try to stop him.

The door slams with a defeaning thud, definitely too loud for how late it is. Xinlong breaks instantly, feels everything shattering around him. In just a few minutes, his entire world has been turned upside down.

·༻𐫱༺·

Xinlong doesn't go to the training center the next morning, instead sending Junseo some bullshit excuse that poorly explains why he can't be there and spends his morning lying in bed miserably.

He doesn't plan on moving, at least not until he hears a knock at his front door. It's about one in the afternoon, and the only person that Xinlong can think of that would be here is Geonwoo.

Fuck.

The thought makes him not want to get up even more, despite the persistent knocking on the door.

The knocking stops, then a few moments later he gets a text.

Jiahao, 1:07 PM

Let me in.

I won't stop knocking until you do.

Xinlong groans and pushes himself out of bed, limping over to the front door. His knee is pretty okay, but his ass is rather sore. He doesn't want to think about it.

He probably looks like a mess right now, and he certainly feels like it with his eyes rubbed raw and his hair dirty. Plus, he has a terrible headache and he was too lazy to get up and take pain meds.

Xinlong opens the front door, if for nothing else than to stop the sound of knocking—he doesn't want to talk to anyone right now.

Jiahao is standing there, just as Xinlong expected, but he looks more concerned than angry. As soon as his friend sees him, though, he looks even more worried.

"You look…terrible," Jiahao says, honestly. Xinlong knows he looks terrible, but he doesn't necessarily want to hear it.

Xinlong sighs in frustration. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"I mean, you look like—"

"I look like I had a big mental breakdown because I slept with my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still in love with, and he said he loves me, so I kicked him out because I'm scared to let myself love him again," Xinlong rambles.

"Yeah, we definitely need to talk about this." Jiahao's tone leaves no room for argument, and before Xinlong can stop him he's letting himself into his apartment.

"No, wait!" Xinlong shouts as Jiahao forces him to sit down on the couch. "I don't want to talk about it!" He feels a little childish, but he doesn't need this—he just needs time to think, to clear his head.

Jiahao takes a moment to think before speaking. "So," he starts, "you slept with Geonwoo, and he confessed? You didn't want that?"

"No, I did, but." Xinlong is frustrated, and his feelings are too complicated to put into the right words. "I didn't expect him to feel the same, and it scares me. It's just safer if we don't do this, if we don't go back to what we were."

He's being more vulnerable than he has in a long time, rubbing his eyes with his sleeve as the tears begin to fall. The time it takes Jiahao to respond feels like forever, and it stresses Xinlong out further.

Suddenly, Jiahao intertwines their fingers and gives Xinlong's hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'm sorry, Xinlong, I know it's hard."

The small action sends Xinlong spiraling. "I want him back more than I've ever wanted anything, but I can't," Xinlong sobs. "I regret making him leave last night, but it's too late. I'm such a fucking idiot—I've ruined everything!"

Jiahao pulls him into his arms, letting Xinlong cry into his shoulder. "I never wanted to see you get hurt again, but I didn't realize how much you were carrying." Jiahao sounds like he's crying, sniffling as he speaks.

"I'm sorry," Xinlong cries.

"You don't need to be." Jiahao holds him through each fresh wave of tears, offering Xinlong the comfort he so desperately needs.

Eventually, Xinlong calms down, and he feels ready to talk about it without the fear of breaking down again. Jiahao is patient, giving Xinlong all the time he needs to find the words.

"I never wanted to make him leave." Xinlong feels so vulnerable as he begins. "I just, I've convinced myself it's safer if we don't pursue anything romantic again, so I panicked. It was too intimate, it wasn't safe." His voice gets quieter, barely above a whisper as he finishes his piece.

"I get where you're coming from, especially considering everything that happened between you two. I need you to remember that when I say this," Jiahao says, intertwining their hands. "Even if you're scared, I think it might be worth it to just…try to be with Geonwoo romantically again."

"But what if—"

"Xinlong," Jiahao interrupts gently, "if you think about all the 'what if's' you're gonna stress yourself out even more. Things have been going well between you two, and you both love each other. It's at least worth a shot, right?"

Still, Xinlong isn't so sure. He keeps his eyes locked on their hands, thinking.

"Just—I think you should talk to him. Even if you truly don't want a relationship, a conversation between the two of you is necessary," Jiahao is right, of course he is, and Xinlong wants to believe that it'll be okay.

"Okay," Xinlong decides. "I will."

Jiahao keeps Xinlong company for the rest of the day, buying him takeout and taking care of him before leaving so he doesn't get home too late.

It's pleasant, and it's exactly what Xinlong needed to distract himself.

However, it doesn't change his reality.

That night, before falling asleep, he sends the scariest text he's ever had to send.

Me, 10:47 PM

Can we talk?

He's too nervous to check his phone after that, setting it face down on his bedside dresser and attempting to get some sleep. It's because he falls asleep that Xinlong doesn't see the almost immediate response until the next morning.

Geonwoo, 10:48 PM

Always.

How does tomorrow sound?

·༻𐫱༺·

Xinlong and Geonwoo decide to meet at his apartment again that evening, since it's their usual spot. The older boy offers to cook dinner, as usual. Xinlong wishes he wouldn't be so kind—it was so much easier when Geonwoo was being an asshole.

It's one of those days where Xinlong's knee aches with a persistent soreness that he can't shake, and he's worried that it's going to cause him to snap at Geonwoo. He wants to try and fix things, and he can't do that if he's in pain and irritable.

Thankfully, with enough pain meds, the pain is manageable within a few hours. Even with that problem solved, Xinlong is terribly nervous, his stomach in knots due to how much he dreads the inevitable conversation with Geonwoo.

It's not that he doesn't want to have this conversation—he does believe it's necessary—it's just that he's afraid. He's so afraid.

The knock at the door makes Xinlong jump, and he takes a second to breathe before he opens the door.

Geonwoo looks as stunning as he always does, grocery bags in hand. Xinlong lets him in without saying a word, completely unable to speak.

It's silent as Xinlong follows Geonwoo into the kitchen, watching as the older boy sets everything he bought on the counter. Then, they both take a seat at the dining table, sitting awkwardly on opposite ends.

"I think I should start," Geonwoo says, nervous. "I have a lot of explaining to do."

It's true. Geonwoo had been the one that was so insistent on breaking up, and he'd been the one that started the backstage arguments—he'd even thrown the first punch back when they fought in the locker room.

"Xinlong, what I said the other day—I wasn't lying. I'm still in love with you, and I have been this whole time, but—"

"What?" Xinlong can't believe what he's hearing. Geonwoo has been in love with him this whole time too?

"I know," Geonwoo sighs. "I know what I said, back then—but I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of it, and there isn't a day where I don't regret it," the older boy says as he blinks back tears. Xinlong doesn't know if he's ever seen Geonwoo so emotional, so open.

"Then why did you say it? Do you know how much that fucking hurt?" Xinlong can't keep his emotions hidden, the hurt he's felt since the day they broke up has been something he's carried with him all this time.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Don't take this as an excuse, it's just an explanation, I guess," Geonwoo starts. "I was…really struggling at that time. Mentally. For some reason I thought I couldn't open up, like I would burden you with my problems if I did. I realize it's not true, but I really believed it."

Geonwoo takes a deep breath before continuing. "At that time, I thought the right thing to do was to push you away, but I just ended up hurting you. It broke me, I couldn't even look you in the eyes for months, not until we fought."

It answers a lot of Xinlong's questions, and it makes him understand where Geonwoo was coming from—even if he's not quite ready to forgive the older boy for what he said that night.

However, many of Xinlong's questions remain unanswered. "Why did you start that first argument?" he asks. "I know I played along, and that I'm not innocent either, but why?"

"I—this is so embarrassing—I just wanted an excuse to talk to you, really," Geonwoo explains. "I won't lie and say I wasn't mad after that stiff elbow, but I just realized after we started arguing that it was so nice to talk to you."

Xinlong laughs—he can't help himself. "It was like that for me, too."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I was relieved that I was just having a conversation with you, even though we were just screaming at each other."

They talk about Xinlong's injury after that. Geonwoo talks about how hard it was to see Xinlong hurt, how he couldn't be mad anymore after that day.

"I realized I was being an idiot, that I was more mad at myself than I ever was at you," Geonwoo lays his heart out, small tears streaming down his face. "I was so worried about you, Junseo had to force me to go home. I showed up the next day at the hospital, when you were sleeping—I was too much of a coward to ever let you know that I visited."

Xinlong, of course, already knows that Geonwoo visited him in the hospital, but no one else does so he keeps it a secret for now.

"It felt like the right thing to do, to try being civil again," Geonwoo says. "We had lost the titles, and it had partially been my fault. Do you know how scary it was when I apologized to Junseo? He's terrifying." Xinlong laughs at that, thankful that he had been spared from another big conversation with Junseo about him and Geonwoo's fist fight.

"But once we were back in each other's life, everything felt so easy, so natural," Geonwoo moves his chair closer to Xinlong's and offers his hand. Xinlong takes it without hesitation. "I wanted to take it slow, even if it was so hard to not kiss you the whole time."

Xinlong groans, and Geonwoo looks at him confused. "I had to work so hard to control myself, just to end up kissing you anyways," Xinlong confesses, blushing hard.

The older boy breaks out into laughter, his body relaxing. Geonwoo squeezes Xinlong's hand as he calms down, swallowing nervously before he speaks. "I don't know if I can ever apologize enough, Longie. But I'm so sorry, and I want to make it up to you in every way that I can. I want to be there for you, more than anything—if you'll let me."

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry too," Xinlong says quietly, he's so nervous that he's starting to feel a little sick again. "I will let you, because I want you in my life again—but we need to take it slow. I'm trusting you with my heart, and I'm trusting you not to break it again."

"Longie." Geonwoo sounds so sincere, so smitten. "From now on, I'm going to make sure you never regret this. You're my whole world, and I want you to know that. I love you, more than you'll ever know."

Xinlong's heart pounds against his chest, and tears threaten to spill as he processes the words. "I love you, too. I think I always will."

Geonwoo lets go of his hand so that he can wrap his arms around Xinlong, pulling him in as close as he can. The older boy is sobbing as he holds him, trembling as he lets everything out. Xinlong has never witnessed Geonwoo like this before, and he feels blessed now that he's finally letting him in and opening up.

When Geonwoo looks at Xinlong again, their faces are tear-stained and red, but Geonwoo still looks at him like he hung the stars.

Xinlong is overwhelmed with emotion, but it doesn't feel so bad when he's so happy.

"Boyfriends, again?" Xinlong asks, hopeful.

"Boyfriends again."

That night, Xinlong lets Geonwoo kiss him. He lets Geonwoo cuddle him, he lets Geonwoo call him beautiful.

The future doesn't feel so scary, not with the man he loves by his side.

·༻𐫱༺·

Recovery gets easier as the weeks pass. Maybe it's because he's dating Geonwoo again, the older boy there to support him every step of the way.

They take things slow, just like they promised, and Xinlong finds that he feels content these days.

At five months into his recovery, his pain is minimal and he's able to do more in the ring. His physical therapist tells him his knee is healing smoothly, and the doctors tell him that he should be back in the ring at six months.

Geonwoo comes with him to physical therapy, then usually takes him on a date afterwards. He treats him to coffee or dinner, he takes him to the most beautiful places around the city, he treats Xinlong like he's the most important thing in his life.

Xinlong really believes it, that he's the most important part of Geonwoo's life.

Sometimes, after a date, if Xinlong begs prettily enough, Geonwoo fucks him until he can't speak. Those days are Xinlong's favorite, though he's too embarrassed to admit it.

He's certain Geonwoo can tell, anyway.

At six months into Xinlong's recovery, he's working harder than he has in his entire career. He relearns his own move set, Geonwoo there to help him as he adjusts to flying between the ropes again.

It's difficult, but his body remembers it—even after almost half a year of not being in the ring.

It's also at six months, after weeks of training in the ring again, that he has an appointment with his doctor to see if he's medically cleared. He's beyond nervous, but Geonwoo holds his hand as the follow the doctor he's seeing into her office.

"Well, after evaluating you, your physical therapist and I have decided that we cannot clear you to compete yet."

Xinlong's heart shatters, the feeling of Geonwoo's hand in his own the only thing preventing him from breaking into tears right then and there.

He feels like he's failed, like he didn't work hard enough over the last six months. His doctors, his physical therapist, his specialist—they had all told him he was likely to be cleared at six months.

Xinlong is stuck wondering what changed, wondering what he did wrong.

"We're sorry, Mr. He. For now, it's best that you continue the routine you established over the last couple weeks," she says more after that, but Xinlong can't hear any of it.

This isn't what he expected, and maybe he's foolish for getting his hopes up, but he wants so desperately to wrestle again.

After saying what she needs to, the doctor leaves Xinlong and Geonwoo alone in the room. The boring white walls and the smell of chemicals is suffocating, and Xinlong feels like he can barely breathe.

"Baby?" Geonwoo calls, gentle as he squeezes Xinlong's hand.

"I—I was supposed to be cleared." Xinlong almost can't believe how defeated he sounds. "I failed, I did something wrong—"

"Longie," Geonwoo interrupts, attempting to stop Xinlong's rambling before it gets worse. "You've done the best you can, and this doesn't mean you've failed. I know it wasn't want you wanted, but you don't want to injure yourself again by returning too early, right?"

Xinlong nods sadly. "Right…"

Geonwoo, sensing that Xinlong is still distressed, continues. "Do you know how proud of you I am? None of this has been easy, but you were strong through all of it."

Xinlong bites his lip as he tries to hold back tears, his body shaking with the effort.

Then, Geonwoo cups his face with both hands, placing an obnoxiously loud smooch on the tip of Xinlong's nose.

It stops Xinlong's mental spiraling, and he looks up at his boyfriend with wide eyes. Geonwoo smiles at him fondly, and Xinlong can't help but smile back.

"Alright then, what do you want for dinner? I'll make you anything."

·༻𐫱༺·

Breaking the news to Junseo and Jiahao happens on a Tuesday, though neither Xinlong or Geonwoo were prepared to tell their friends about their relationship just yet.

Of course, Jiahao knows that they had talked, and that means Junseo probably knows as well, but they don't know that conversation ended with Xinlong and Geonwoo getting back together.

It happens on accident, after DPW's weekly show has concluded, when Xinlong and Geonwoo are in the locker room. The older boy had competed in a match tonight, so he just finished showering a few minutes ago.

He sits next to Xinlong on one of the many benches, almost completely dressed but still shirtless. Geonwoo's hair is still dripping wet at the ends, the water falling onto his broad shoulders and down his chest.

Xinlong is suddenly very horny.

He flushes bright red as he stares at Geonwoo, letting his eyes wander across the older boy's naked torso.

Geonwoo, on the other hand, looks at him confused for a moment. "Longie, baby, what's—" Geonwoo pauses as he realizes why the younger boy is staring. "Like what you see?" he teases, cocky.

Xinlong does, in fact, like what he sees.

His hand reaches to cup Geonwoo's cock through his sweatpants, and he looks up at his boyfriend with a pout. "Can I suck you off, please?"

"Longie, we're in—"

"Junseo and Jiahao won't come back here, and everyone else is gone, please."

Geonwoo looks conflicted, but Xinlong feels the way his cock twitches through the fabric of his pants.

"I don't know, what if kneeling is too painful for you?" Geonwoo tries, but Xinlong knows he can kneel just fine—especially if he's got his boyfriend's cock down his throat.

"Please." Xinlong isn't sure how much more he can beg. They're alone—he's sure of it.

Geonwoo sighs. "You really can't wait until we get home?"

It's a five minute drive, sometimes ten minutes if traffic is bad. Xinlong shakes his head.

"Okay, but be quick." Geonwoo finally caves in, though his cock is almost fully hard by now. Xinlong thinks he hears his boyfriend mumble something along the lines of your oral fixation is gonna kill me, but he ignores it.

Xinlong dips his hand into Geonwoo's boxers once he gets permission, wrapping his short fingers around his boyfriend's cock. He strokes it at a relentless pace, the slide easy when Geonwoo is already leaking so much pre-cum for him.

"Longie," Geonwoo lets out a breathy moan, though it's a bit loud in the empty locker room.

Of course, that's the exact moment that the two of them get interrupted.

"Oh! Jesus fucking Christ!" Junseo shouts, covering his eyes dramatically. Next to him, Jiahao does the same.

Xinlong's hand flies out of Geonwoo's pants, and as he looks at his friends and superiors, he's positively mortified. Geonwoo isn't doing much better, his face drained of color.

"Are you two decent now?" Junseo questions, scared.

"Yeah," Xinlong and Geonwoo answer in unison, voices shaky. Finally, Jiahao and Junseo uncover their eyes, but they still look at the couple in shock.

"So, care to tell me why we walked into you two fucking around in the communal locker room?" Junseo asks, raising an eyebrow at them.

"We're dating," Geonwoo speaks up. He's always been braver than Xinlong.

Xinlong didn't think it was possible for Jiahao and Junseo's eyes to get any wider.

"Seriously? How long?" Junseo's barrage of questions is giving Xinlong a headache.

"A little over two months, now," Geonwoo says, and Xinlong is once again grateful that the older boy is speaking for them.

"You didn't tell me?" Jiahao pouts. Xinlong feels guilty, but him and Geonwoo had agreed to keep their relationship a secret for the time being.

"Sorry," Xinlong mutters. "We didn't wanna tell anyone yet."

"Don't—don't apologize, you guys being together is fine," Junseo says, "but giving each other handjobs in my company's locker room is a problem, understood?"

"Yes, sir!" Xinlong and Geonwoo exclaim at the same time. Junseo is rather intimidating when he wants to be.

The other two leave the locker room shortly after, which gives Xinlong and Geonwoo the incentive to pack up their shit and head back to Xinlong's apartment.

At least Xinlong is free to suck Geonwoo's cock in the safety on his own room.

·༻𐫱༺·

Xinlong has an intense routine these days, working even harder as the seven month mark approaches.

He spends a good amount of time throughout the week at the training center, diligently doing exercises and going to physical therapy when he isn't there. It's draining, and his body isn't always happy with him, but he's desperate to get medically cleared.

With how busy he is, Xinlong's next appointment is around the corner in no time.

Geonwoo holds his hand as they wait for the doctor, and he doesn't let go when they follow her to her office—the same place where Xinlong was told he wasn't cleared to compete a month ago.

"Mr. He," she begins speaking and Xinlong feels his heartbeat pick up. "We have good news for you today—we're clearing you to compete. You can start wrestling again as soon as your promotion allows."

The world stops for a few seconds as Xinlong replays her words in his head.

We're clearing you to compete.

You can start wrestling as soon as your promotion allows.

"Longie!" Geonwoo grabs his shoulders, a massive smile on his face. "You're medically cleared. You did it."

Xinlong can't believe it—he's been waiting to hear those words for seven long months, and they were the most difficult seven months of his life. When he got injured, he was at a low point in not only his career, but in his life. Now, though, as Geonwoo looks at him with so much happiness and love, Xinlong can't help but think that this is exactly where he wants to be.

"I did it," Xinlong breathes.

"Good job, Mr. He," the doctor says, turning Xinlong and Geonwoo's attention back to her. "I'll go grab some paperwork for you, then you'll be good to go."

As soon as she exits the room, Geonwoo pulls him in for a kiss. Xinlong giggles as their lips connect, his face scrunching up as his boyfriend kisses the tip of his nose. As they separate, Geonwoo looks at him with so much fondness, with so much affection, that it makes Xinlong feel like he's floating.

"I'm so proud of you."

·༻𐫱༺·

Xinlong, much to his dismay, does not get to return to action right away.

He's medically cleared, yes, but he's still a bit rusty between the ropes. It's nothing that a couple weeks worth of training can't fix, though, and he feels like he's ready soon enough. He can't lie, the thought of getting back into things makes him nervous, but he knows he can get through it—just like he's gotten through everything else.

When he's ready, a few weeks after getting medically cleared, him and Geonwoo meet with Junseo and Jiahao to discuss his big return.

"As you know, we have a Pay-Per-View coming up next Saturday in Minneapolis," Junseo starts, looking at the notes he has laid out in front of him. "Geonwoo, you're defending your International Championship—you know this. What we're changing is the match order of the card. You're gonna go on last, and Zihao and Suren are gonna try and cost you your title. We're gonna have a big spot where the ref is out of commission, and we want it to look like you're gonna lose.

Xinlong isn't quite sure where this is going yet.

"Xinlong, you're coming to the rescue," Junseo continues. "We're gonna have you run in at the last moment, fight off Zihao and Suren, and help Geonwoo retain his championship."

"I'm returning next Saturday?"

"If you would like to, yes. We want you to."

"Of course I want to!" Xinlong can't hide his excitement, and both Junseo and Jiahao look happy for him.

"Alright," Jiahao chips in. "We have an official plan for that Saturday, then."

Xinlong is anxious as he waits for Saturday, and he uses that energy to train endlessly—working more towards his return every single day. He's in the arena in Minneapolis before he know it, Geonwoo beside him as they roll their suitcases into the building. It had been a short flight, and Xinlong is grateful that they didn't have to drive.

He doesn't have to get into his gear tonight, instead opting for casual clothing since he's only doing a run-in. Then, in the hours before the show, he spends time with Geonwoo—leaning onto the older boy's shoulder as he wills his nerves to go away.

Eventually, though, Geonwoo does have to leave to have his match, and that doubles as Xinlong's queue to go wait in Gorilla. He has a good twenty minutes before he's needed, but it's important to him that he watches Geonwoo's bout from backstage.

As planned, Zihao and Suren interrupt first, coming down through the crowd and jumping over the barricade as they disrupt the match. Geonwoo's opponent "accidentally" takes out the ref before that, which gives the heel team free reign to kick Geonwoo while he's down.

It doesn't last for long though, and Xinlong is pushing through the curtain soon enough, him and Geonwoo's entrance music blaring throughout the arena.

Xinlong makes it out to the entrance ramp, then sprints down to the ring. His ears are ringing, the adrenaline flowing through his body making it hard to focus on anything else. They complete the spot as planned, with a new referee taking over so that Geonwoo can hit his finisher and secure the victory.

Geonwoo celebrates with Xinlong in the center of the ring, pulling the younger boy into a hug. Xinlong has to fight back tears as he hugs his boyfriend, as he looks at the fans in attendance cheering.

Jiahao pulls him into a hug, too, as soon as they return to Gorilla. Xinlong doesn't try to hold back tears then, and he doesn't try to hold them back as everyone congratulates him on his return. There has been very few days in his life where Xinlong has felt this happy.

Geonwoo kisses him right there in Gorilla, stealing Xinlong's breath away despite the crowds of people in the backstage area.

"I love you," Geonwoo whispers, so that only the two of them can hear.

"I love you, too."

·༻𐫱༺·

Today marks exactly two years since Xinlong returned to action from a devastating ACL tear, and he truly can't believe what his life has become.

A couple months after his return, Geonwoo ended up dropping the International Championship. It was a bit difficult for him, but he wanted nothing more than to exclusively wrestle alongside Xinlong again. A few months after that, Euphoria won the DPW Tag Team Championships for a third time—championships that they still hold to this day.

He's still dating Geonwoo, and he can confidently say it's gone a lot better this time around. It's not perfect, and they have their off days, but they've learned to work through those problems and make their relationship stronger. There hasn't been a day where Xinlong regrets letting Geonwoo into his life again.

To celebrate the two year anniversary of Xinlong's return, Geonwoo promised him he'd take him out on date. So, Xinlong is confused when the two of them drive to the training center, and he's even more confused when Geonwoo grabs his hand and takes him inside.

"Baby," Xinlong pouts. "I thought we were going on a date, what are we doing here?"

Geonwoo shushes him, sitting on the ring apron and inviting Xinlong to do the same. The place is completely empty apart from them, as everyone else is likely at home on their day off.

"Xinlong," Geonwoo grabs his hand, lacing their fingers together. "You know, if I had never pursued professional wrestling, if I had never been signed by DPW—I don't think I would've met you. I love this sport, I love wrestling, but I love you more than anything. I could wrestle anywhere, I could've been in some bigger promotion, but I'm so grateful that I'm not. If I was, I couldn't be here with you."

"Geonwoo, baby, what—"

"Do you know how lucky I am that you let me back into your life after everything? I can't imagine a world where I'm not with you—and I'm not sure I would want to live in it," Geonwoo blinks away tears as he looks at Xinlong. "I love you so much. You're my everything, and I want to spend forever with you."

Xinlong's jaw drops as Geonwoo pulls out a small box from the pocket of his jacket, the older boy opening it to reveal a gorgeous diamond ring. Xinlong doesn't even want to think about how much it cost.

Tears are running down Xinlong's cheeks before Geonwoo even asks the question.

"Longie, will you marry me?"

Xinlong could've never said anything but yes.