Chapter Text
The first time Minato heard about the babysitter, he assumed it was a joke.
“You want to let an eleven-year-old babysit our baby?” Minato frowned from behind the café counter. He did not mind the idea of help, but the phrasing alone felt wrong. Naruto was currently strapped to his chest in an Ergobaby embrace. “That’s not legal, is it?”
“I know it doesn’t sound like a good idea, but he’s not babysitting per se. He’s just a helping hand,” Kushina replied as she wiped down the counter. “Iruka has more experience than both of us combined. I’ve gotten to know him over the last year, and I trust him.”
“Last time I checked, we were the adults in this situation.” Minato pointed out.
Kushina ignored that entirely.
“He came to me asking for part-time work. He’s good with kids, but he’s terrible in the kitchen. I can’t have him dropping plates on customers.”
“That sounds like something that happened more than once,” Minato commented, amused.
“It did,” Kushina said calmly. “Three times. One time it was soup.”
“Tell me more about him,” Minato sighed.
Kushina’s expression softened.
“He doesn’t have parents,” she said. “He lives at the orphanage.”
“…I see,” Minato said softly, his posture shifting slightly.
“His parents died in a car crash a few years ago. He got hurt too. There’s a scar on his face. He had to hold the wound closed himself until help arrived,” Kushina continued gently.
Minato looked away for a moment. His whole body stiffened. He placed a hand against Naruto’s back to anchor himself.
The café carried on as if nothing had changed.
An eleven-year-old should not be trying to keep himself together with his own hands.
Children shouldn’t have to learn survival that early.
Eleven-year-olds should not have contingency plans.
If Naruto were orphaned, would he end up in a similar situation to this kid?
“Fine,” he said at last. “We’ll let him babysit Naruto. But we need rules.”
“I knew you’d agree.” Kushina grinned.
——
Minato met Iruka three days later.
The kid arrived at the café ten minutes early, carrying a backpack that looked older than he was.
He hovered nervously near the entrance until Kushina spotted him.
“Iruka!” she called brightly.
Iruka nearly jumped out of his skin, then looked sheepish enough that Minato had to suppress a smile.
There was something mischievous about him that made Minato want to know him better.
The kid had a scar running across the bridge of his nose and cheeks exactly as Kushina had described, though it looked older than Minato had expected. His dark hair was tied back neatly, and his clothes were clean but visibly worn. The knees of his jeans had been patched by hand.
“Sorry,” Iruka said quickly as he approached. “I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“You’re fine,” Kushina assured him. “Relax a little.”
Iruka immediately stood straighter.
Minato had to look away to hide his amusement.
“So,” Kushina continued, gesturing toward him, “this is my husband, Minato.”
Iruka’s eyes widened slightly.
“Oh,” Iruka breathed.
Minato tried very hard not to laugh at the sheer panic that crossed the boy’s face.
“He’s not scary,” Kushina said dismissively.
Iruka bowed quickly.
“Thank you for considering me for the job, sir,” Iruka said in a tone that was overly polite, still bent down.
Minato winced internally at the sir. Not even his students called him sir.
“Minato is fine.” He patted the kid’s shoulder awkwardly. “You can stop bowing.”
Iruka looked deeply unconvinced by this.
Before Minato could continue, Naruto let out an offended squeak from where he sat in his carrier beside the counter.
Iruka’s attention snapped toward him instantly.
“You want to hold him?” Kushina smiled knowingly.
“You’ve held babies before, right?” Minato asked carefully.
“Yes,” Iruka answered. “Lots.”
The confidence in his voice surprised him.
Kushina passed Naruto over before Minato could overthink the situation.
Iruka adjusted automatically.
One hand supported Naruto’s head perfectly while the other settled securely beneath him. Naruto barely fussed before grabbing onto the front of Iruka’s shirt with tiny fists.
Iruka smiled down at him carefully, like he was handling something precious.
Naruto immediately attempted to shove his own fist into Iruka’s mouth.
Kushina burst into laughter.
“Yep,” she said. “He likes you.”
Iruka laughed softly as he redirected Naruto’s hand.
Minato watched the interaction silently.
“How much experience do you actually have?” Minato asked.
Iruka glanced up.
“There are a lot of younger kids at the orphanage,” he explained. “Sometimes the staff gets overwhelmed, so the older kids help out.”
Something unpleasant twisted in Minato’s chest.
Children helping occasionally was one thing.
Children effectively raising other children was another.
Naruto made another babble before promptly drooling all over Iruka’s sleeve.
Iruka did not even react.
Kushina pointed accusingly at Minato.
“See? He’s already better at this than you are.”
——
Iruka became part of the household surprisingly quickly after that.
At first, Minato had expected awkwardness.
Instead, Iruka slipped into their routines so naturally it almost startled him.
Naruto adored him.
Absolutely adored him.
The second Iruka walked through the door each afternoon, Naruto would start kicking his legs excitedly in anticipation. Iruka always greeted him first before putting down his bag.
“Hey, Naruto,” he would say warmly. “Were your parents being embarrassing again?”
Naruto would respond as if this were the funniest thing anyone had ever said.
Kushina, meanwhile, had fully decided that Iruka belonged to them now.
Minato had walked into the kitchen one afternoon to find her aggressively packing leftovers into containers while Iruka sat at the table looking overwhelmed.
“You’re too skinny,” Kushina declared.
“I’m really not—” Iruka tried, blushing furiously.
“You are. Eat more,” Kushina insisted, shoving the containers into his hands.
Iruka accepted defeat.
Good kid.
What interested Minato most, however, was how Iruka would react to Kakashi.
At least, Minato had assumed the two had never met.
In hindsight, that assumption had been incredibly optimistic.
“Minato-sensei.”
Kakashi stepped into the study while removing his shoes by the door.
At fifteen, he was already taking university courses, which was how Minato had somehow become his tutor, advisor, and occasional keeper of basic human interaction.
“Where’s Naruto?”
“In his room with the babysitter,” Minato answered.
Kakashi frowned.
“Babysitter? Why does Naruto need a babysitter?”
“Because Kushina and I both work,” Minato said dryly.
Kakashi crossed his arms.
“I can watch him if you need,” he offered automatically. “I didn’t realize things were getting difficult.”
Minato studied him for a moment.
Despite being catastrophically bad with children, Kakashi had always been strangely protective of Naruto.
“Kakashi,” he said carefully, “you barely have enough free time to sleep.”
“That’s not true,” Kakashi said sharply.
“You fell asleep standing up during our session last week,” Minato pointed out.
“That happened once,” Kakashi argued.
“You also walked into a wall.”
Kakashi looked offended.
“The wall moved unexpectedly,” he said with complete seriousness.
Minato sighed.
“The point is that this kid needs the job, and he knows what he’s doing.”
Kakashi crossed his arms tighter.
“Can I at least meet him?”
“Of course.”
The walk to Naruto’s room passed in comfortable silence.
Minato knocked lightly against the door before opening it.
What he expected was awkwardness.
What he got instead was immediate mutual horror.
Iruka flushed bright red the second he saw Kakashi.
Kakashi froze before narrowing his eyes into a glare.
Then he slowly turned toward Minato with the betrayed expression of someone who had just discovered a personal enemy sitting comfortably inside his teacher’s home.
“Him?” Kakashi demanded. “Seriously?”
Minato blinked.
“That’s the kid who booby-trapped my locker,” Kakashi accused.
“How many times do I have to say I’m sorry?” Iruka complained from beside Naruto’s bassinet. “Someone told me you’d transferred schools. I thought the janitor was going to clean it out.”
“You filled it with glitter.”
“It was biodegradable.”
“That is not the point.”
Kakashi’s glare faltered briefly when Naruto grabbed onto Iruka’s sleeve.
Iruka adjusted him automatically without even looking away from the argument.
Minato looked between them slowly.
…Oh.
“Wait,” Minato interrupted, beginning to grin. “This is the kid who dyed your hair pink for a week?”
Kakashi looked personally betrayed.
“Don’t act like that was the only thing he did,” he muttered. “He terrorised me for an entire year.”
Minato was beginning to suspect Kakashi’s definition of “terrorised” differed significantly from everyone else’s.
“Well,” Iruka pointed out shamelessly, “you made it easy.”
Kakashi narrowed his eyes.
Naruto suddenly laughed loudly from the bassinet.
The room went quiet.
Then Iruka pointed dramatically.
“Even Naruto thinks I’m right.”
“Minato-sensei,” Kakashi complained.
“Kakashi,” Minato replied helplessly, already laughing.
“You’re siding with him? I’ve known you longer.”
“I have technically known him just as long through you,” Minato admitted. “You used to talk about him constantly.”
Iruka flushed darker.
Kakashi went rigid.
“You called him a sneaky tanuki,” Minato continued thoughtfully. “That’s probably why I didn’t put two and two together. You never told me his actual name.”
“You weren’t supposed to tell him that!” Kakashi squeaked.
Minato had never seen him like this.
Iruka covered his face with both hands.
“Oh my god,” he muttered.
Minato could practically see Kakashi reconsidering every life choice that had led him here.
This was going to be very interesting.
“Look,” Minato said, still clearly amused, “This is an opportunity for a new start. You could both learn something from each other.”
Kakashi narrowed his eyes suspiciously.
“Kakashi, you’re terrible with babies and kids. It would do you good to learn a few things from Iruka.”
Then Minato turned toward Iruka.
“And Iruka… I have never in my life witnessed someone cause an explosion while boiling an egg. You’re a safety hazard when it comes to the kitchen.”