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Shane unlocks and opens the door as quietly as possible. He tiptoes inside the house, looking out for any signs that Ilya might still be awake. It’s silent and all the lights are off.
Shane stumbles slightly as he toes off his shoes in the front hall. He had one too many glasses of wine at the WAGs wine night. He normally only sticks to ginger ale but the girls kept hyping up the chilled red they were drinking, and he’s just disappointed he hadn’t tried it sooner.
So Shane’s a bit drunk, and he’s coming home at nearly 1 in the morning, way later than his usual 9 pm bedtime. He can’t help it that the WAGs are so easy to let loose and have fun with, much more than with their spouses, who happen to be his own teammates.
Initially Shane was hesitant about being included as a WAG. Obviously he’s not a wife or girlfriend, but they all offered to change the name but he and Harris agreed they don’t mind it. There’s also the fact that he’s not just dating someone on the team, but he is also playing on the team himself. The ladies and Harris all argued that they really don’t care and they trust Shane to abide by the strict “what happens at wine night stays at wine night” policy.
The other WAGs considered adding Ilya as well, but Shane lied and said Ilya probably wouldn’t be that interested in wine night and is much more of a boys night kind of guy. He knows of course if Ilya knew Shane was going to WAGs night he would immediately want to go as well. But selfishly Shane doesn’t want to mess with the already perfect dynamic of WAGs night. He enjoys having the space where everyone can air out their relationship gossip or drama without worry of it getting back to their partners. It’s also great exchanging advice about these topics of relationships and sex with the ladies and Harris in a judgement free way.
So yeah, Shane is keeping it a secret from Ilya that he’s been a WAG this whole time.
When he gets upstairs to their bedroom, the lamp is still on, casting a soft glow over Ilya’s sleeping form. He is sitting up in bed, slumped over as he dozes off. Shane smiles and gently removes Ilya’s phone from his hand and turns off whatever Youtube video he must've been watching before falling asleep while waiting for Shane. He plugs the phone in and places it on the bedside table. Then he pulls off his clothes and crawls into bed, rearranging Ilya to a more comfortable sleeping position. Finally he reaches over to turn off the light.
“You’re late,” Ilya mumbles half asleep.
Shane startles, not expecting Ilya to be awake at all.
“Sorry, you know how my parents can be sometimes. They insisted I stay for a movie after dinner and then I ended up falling asleep on the couch,” Shane lies, pulling Ilya closer to his chest.
Shane can imagine him pouting even if he can’t actually see it in the dark of their room.
“Ok,” is all Ilya says before falling back asleep.
------
Every Sunday night, when Ilya is at boys night with the team, Shane has some reason to not go. Usually he says he’s not feeling up for it, or that his parents want to have him over for dinner and it’s the only night that works for them.
Ilya understands and respects that, Shane can still be kind of shy and introverted around the other guys. So last night, when the guys canceled at the last minute, Ilya decided to surprise Shane at his parents house. It’s been way too long since he last had dinner with David and Yuna anyways.
Except when he showed up, bottle of Russian Vodka for David in hand, it was just David and Yuna, no Shane.
“I could’ve sworn he said he’s having dinner with you guys instead of going out with the boys,” Ilya frowned, eyebrows drawn up in worry.
“Oh, this is the first I’m hearing about that,” David chuckled. “You should come in and eat with us anyways. I’m making your favorite, chicken parm.”
“Ok, thank you. Maybe he is just running late,” Ilya said, entering the comforting atmosphere of Shane’s childhood home.
Just to ease the worry bubbling up in his chest, Ilya sent a text to check on Shane.
Ilya: everything alright?
He didn’t get a response for nearly twenty minutes when he’s helping David boil the pasta for dinner.
Shane: yes, my parents say hi 🥰
Ilya frowned at that and nearly dropped his phone. Shane lied to him. He briefly considered confronting him then and there over text to say "you are lying I am with your parents now,” but he decided he’d rather have that conversation in person.
He spends the entirety of what is supposed to be a relaxing dinner catching up with his boyfriend's parents worrying about the fact that maybe Shane has been lying about why he can’t make it to boys' night every time.
“Something on your mind, Ilya? I can hear you thinking from over here,” David finally said.
“Shane said he could not come hang out with the team tonight because he is eating dinner with you guys. So I show up here tonight to surprise him, and there is no Shane here,” Ilya frowned. “The thing that worries me most is that this is not the first time he’s said this.”
“Well the last time we had Shane over for dinner was when you both came over a few weeks ago.”
After crying into a bowl of cookies and cream ice cream, and a lot of hugs from David and Yuna, they convinced Ilya that he should just talk to Shane and clear the air. Surely there’s just some misunderstanding going on.
So Ilya got home that night and intended on staying up to wait for Shane to return. Except when he heard the front door open and the unfamiliar sounds of Shane coming home drunk, Ilya chickened out and pretended to be asleep.
When Shane got into bed, Ilya could literally smell the wine on him. He couldn’t stay silent anymore.
“You’re late,” Ilya said, expecting Shane to immediately cave and explain himself.
Except then he just continued the lie about being with his parents and Ilya couldn’t find it in himself to have that conversation at that moment.
So now he finds himself nervously pacing around their living room while Shane’s in the kitchen preparing lunch for them after getting home from morning practice. Ilya was going to ask him about it the second they woke up, but he’s always been so weak for Shane’s sleepy face and his messy hair in the morning.
“Tuna melt?” Shane says, placing the plate down on the coffee table.
“Thanks,” Ilya says, sitting down and looking at the sandwich that is once again present in times of emotional distress for him. He doesn’t think he can ever eat once again.
“You never said how boys’ night was,” Shane says, not noticing Ilya’s internal turmoil and taking a bite of his diet approved version of a tuna melt.
“Um, it was good, everyone had fun,” Ilya nods, pushing past his racing thoughts to just focus on getting through lunch.
-------
Ilya manages to push his worries aside for the rest of the week. Shane does nothing else to make him think he’s up to something bad. He’s loving and perfect like he always is.
So Ilya forgets about it, until the following Sunday night. Shane once again declines boys’ night.
“It’s been a busy week, I think I’d rather just stay in tonight,” Shane says, not looking up from his book that he’s reading on the couch.
“Oh, you know what, I’ll stay in too. We can have a cozy night together,” Ilya says, plopping down on the couch next to him.
“Um, no you should go. I know how much you enjoy hanging out with the team. Really I’ll be fine here,” Shane insists.
Except Ilya can pick up on his lies immediately this time. So instead of confronting him right there, he decides to do some further investigating.
“Ok, you’re right. I will go out. But don’t worry I’ll be back early so you’re not too lonely,” Ilya forces a smile and stands to grab his coat.
Except instead of driving to Wyatt Hayes’ house he parks his car around the block to wait for Shane to leave for wherever he’s been sneaking off to.
Thirty minutes later, he sees Shane’s jeep driving away at exactly the speed limit. He’s always so laser focused on the road when driving, that he won’t even notice Ilya following him the entire way.
Ilya frowns when he sees Shane’s car pull into the driveway of Zane Boodram’s house. Bood is with the guys right now, someone sent a picture in the chat. Ilya parks his car two houses down and watches as Shane is greeted by Bood’s wife Cassie.
Over the next half hour of hiding in the bushes, he witnesses all of his team mate’s spouses and partners pull up to the house as well. He even spots Harris and has to duck down to avoid being spotted.
He finally realizes what’s going on as he watches them all sip their wine and giggle with each other. Shane is part of the WAGs and wine night, and Ilya didn’t get invited.
At first he is jealous, upset even. He is as much of a WAG as Shane! He should be in there, sipping a glass of rosé and gossiping about whose partner is best at sex. He’s about to barge in there and demand an explanation for why he was excluded when he hears a familiar voice.
“Roz, is that you? What are you doing hiding out in the bushes?” Cliff fucking Marleau asks.
Ilya groans and extracts himself from the Boodram’s neighbor’s landscaping.
“Marly, what the fuck are you dong here?” Ilya asks.
“Uh, we’re playing you guys tomorrow, remember?”
“Yes, I know this. But why are you here at Zane Boodram’s house?”
“Oh, Cassie invited me. It’s WAGs and wine night!” Cliff grins.
“For fucks sake! Why is everyone invited to this except for me?” Ilya groans. “How did you even get an invite?”
“I’m dating Luca now,” Cliff shrugs.
“Oh my fucking god. I’ll deal with you later, ugh,” Ilya groans
“Uh oh, someone’s jealous they didn’t get invited to wine night,” Cliff chuckles.
“Yes I’m fucking jealous I did not get invited. How is Shane a WAG and not me?! I want to drink wine with the girls too! I am a great conversationalist! What does Shane have to offer that I don’t?” Ilya cries, burying his face in his hands.
“Woah, slow down there buddy. I’m sure it’s nothing personal. Look, if these women are anything like the Boston WAGs then you know how exclusive they can be. One does not simply get invited into the WAGs inner circle, you have to earn it,” Cliff says, patting Ilya on the shoulder.
“And what the fuck have you done to ‘earn’ you WAG status? Other than defiling my poor innocent rookie?”
“Ah shit man, this bottle’s getting a little warm, I gotta get it inside for Cassie. But I’ll see you tomorrow!”
Before Ilya can say it’s the middle of February and colder outside than any freezer, Cliff is full speed sprinting across the street and letting himself into the house.
Ilya realizes then that he’s up against something much more serious. He’s gonna need back up if he’s going to infiltrate the elite secret society of WAGs and wine.
Ilya: My house in 15 minutes idgaf what ur doing rn, it’s an emergency.
Troy: oh shit
Troy: I’m omw, hang in there Roz
Luca: heading out now, be there soon
Luca: Stay strong captain!
-------
Inside the Boodram house, everyone is cheering when Cliff finally arrives.
“Was that Ilya I saw outside?” Cassie asks, gratefully accepting the expensive bottle of wine Cliff brought. “Does he wanna come inside? He’s totally welcome as a WAG.”
“Oh, um no, that was just some rando on the street. I don’t even know what he was saying! I had to tell him off haha,” Cliff says, scratching his head awkwardly.
“Huh, that’s weird.”
“Yeah, totally weird. Anyways it couldn’t have been Ilya because he doesn’t even like wine, so why would he want to come to wine night?” Shane laughs anxiously, taking a big gulp from his glass.
“Okay, well if that ever changes, you let him know he’s totally welcome,” Cassie smiles.
“Anyways, back to girl talk!” Shane says abruptly. “So I bought a new dildo…”
-------
“Let me get this straight, you made us leave Wyatt’s house, made us think you were having some crisis just because you didn’t get an invite to the WAGs wine night?” Troy sighs, standing in Ilya’s living room.
“Hey! This is a huge fucking crisis okay! On top of all that, Shane didn’t tell me anything. In fact he fucking lied about going to his parent’s house when the whole time he’s been drinking wine and giggling with the WAGs!” Ilya cries, throwing his body onto the ground like a toddler having a tantrum.
“Wait, Shane didn’t tell you anything?” Luca asks, confused. “I knew Cliff was going tonight.”
“Yeah, Harris always tells me when he’s going to hang out with the WAGs,” Troy shrugs.
“This isn’t helping guys!” Ilya groans.
“Ok, look I’m sure there’s a totally reasonable explanation.”
“I asked Cliff and he said you have to earn your invitation to wine night,” Ilya sighs, rolling over onto his back. His whole meltdown has disturbed Anya and she’s come over to lick at his face.
“I don’t know why you have to drag us into this. We’re okay with not being WAGs,” Troy shrugs.
“But I AM a WAG! I deserve to go to wine night! I would be so fun at wine night, they don’t even know what they’re missing out on!” Ilya wails like a child.
“Ok dude, so then you just have to earn it I guess. If you think you’d make such a good WAG then prove it to them.”
“But how, I thought dating Shane is enough?”
“Dude, that’s like the bare minimum. You might be dating a player, but as far as the ladies are concerned, you haven’t fulfilled any of the other WAG responsibilities,” Troy points out.
“Yeah, like they’re always wearing their partner’s jerseys at games, or making cute instagram posts,” Luca says.
“Ok, I think I can do that,” Ilya says, sitting up.
“Just please don’t do anything stupid. But when you do, we never even talked to you about this,” Troy sighs, standing up to leave. “Come on Luca, let’s leave before he blows something up.”
Luca quickly stands and waves goodbye to Ilya, but the man is already doing something on his phone, a frantic look glinting in his eyes.
-------
“Has anyone seen my jersey?” Shane asks the next day, in the locker room before their game against Boston. “It was just here a second ago.”
Luca and Troy exchange nervous looks.
Fifteen minutes before they’re supposed to be going out for warm ups, Shane’s jersey is nowhere to be found. Thankfully the equipment manager has an extra and he’s able to make it onto the ice in time.
Shane doesn’t see Ilya again until they’re standing out on the ice to introduce the starting lineup. It’s also when he realizes where his jersey has been this whole time.
“Ilya! You grabbed the wrong jersey!” Shane hisses, looking in horror at the sight of his own last name and number on the other man’s back.
“No, I am wearing my boyfriend’s jersey to the game,” Ilya grins. “I’m just doing my part to be the best WAG I can be,” Ilya winks and then skates off to center ice for the ceremonial puck drop.
“Oh god,” is all Shane can say.
“Rozanov! You can’t wear another player’s jersey. You have to go change,” the ref says, pulling Ilya aside.
“No! I refuse. I have a right to wear this jersey!” Ilya shouts.
“Oh god,” Troy also groans from where he’s watching this all go down.
“Rozanov! Get your ass over here!” Coach Wiebe shouts from the bench, looking angry for the first time anyone on the team has known him.
Shane and Troy have to physically drag Ilya away from where he’s still ranting in the poor ref’s face.
“Change your jersey right now!” Wiebe groans, throwing the proper one at his face.
“It is my god given right to wear my partner’s jersey as a WAG. In fact it’s my responsibility even,” Ilya huffs, throwing the jersey on the ground.
“Roz what the fuck are you playing at? Just put on the damn thing so we can start the game,” Bood groans.
“No, I refuse! You can’t make me,” Ilya shakes his head.
“Oh my god, Ilya please can you just wear your own jersey?” Shane pleads, growing more embarrassed as the cameras start to turn towards the Centaurs’ bench.
“Just admit it, I’m a better WAG than you are! Look at me, I’m proud to wear my boyfriend's jersey!”
“Ilya if you put your own jersey on right now I’ll do whatever you want when we get home,” Shane sighs, using his last resort.
It’s as if a switch flips inside Ilya because he’s suddenly pulling the Hollander jersey off and tugging on the Rozanov one instead.
“Ok, boys, we have a game to play. Let’s get serious now,” Ilya nods.
“You gotta be kidding me,” Troy shakes his head in disbelief.
-------
After the game and fulfilling Ilya’s reward for changing into his own fucking jersey, he moves onto the next phase in his plan to become head WAG.
After some thorough stalking of the other WAG instagram posts, Ilya confirms his suspicion that it’s not enough to just show support for your partner by wearing their jersey to a game, you have to vocalize your support on social media as well.
Most of them are just simple, boring pictures. Cassie posted a picture of Bood skating around. Caitlin posted a picture of Dykstra making coffee in the morning. They all have similar captions like “good luck!” or “hope he wins this one for me.”
Ilya goes through his camera roll and selects his favorite picture of Shane.
Barely even a minute after hitting post, Ilya’s phone starts blowing up with notifications from Harris.
Harris: delete it right fucking now
Harris: I’m not even kidding
Harris: I can’t believe you
Harris: I’m making you do 10 more hours of PR training tomorrow…
Ilya: DOES NO ONE UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF WAG DUTIES ANYMORE
Harris: bro idgaf about your WAG duties just delete the post RIGHT NOW
Ilya fully intends on ignoring him, but then Shane walks out of their bedroom looking concerned.
“Why is my mom calling me telling me to take your phone away?” He asks.
“God I try to do one nice thing and suddenly everyone hates me!” Ilya cries.
“Ilya, what the fuck did you do?” Shane frowns, opening his Instagram app which he normally avoids at all costs. “Why would you post this?! Ugh seriously you said ‘the only prize I need is this juicy ass’ with a heart emoji?”
“I have to let the people know I support my big strong hockey player boyfriend, beyond just wearing your jersey at the games,” Ilya makes his best puppy dog eyes at Shane.
Unfortunately for him Shane values his dignity more than Ilya’s feelings at this moment. He walks over to the couch to try and grab Ilya’s phone out of his hand.
“NO! I HAVE TO PROVE I’M THE BEST WAG!” Ilya screeches, wrestling Shane to the floor.
“What the actual fuck is wrong with you?!” Shane yelps as they fall off the couch. “Ilya, if you don’t delete that post right now I’m never letting you fuck me ever again!”
“So last time I get reward, but this time I get punishment?” Ilya frowns in disappointment.
“Yeah and I followed up on my promise last time, so what makes you think I’m not serious about this one?” Shane snaps, ready to tap into crazy bitch mode.
Thankfully it’s not necessary because Ilya finally caves. He opens his phone and deletes the post.
“There, are you happy now?” Ilya huffs, flopping back onto the couch, face down.
“Yes,” Shane says, rolling his eyes and going back to bed.
Harris: idk how you got him to do it, but thank you. I owe you one <3
Shane: had to threaten him with a sex ban
Shane: we should look into revoking his account completely though, I have a feeling this isn’t the end of it
Harris: good thinking, I’m on it!
------
After his first two efforts Ilya still doesn’t get his invite to WAG wine night. He has no other choice but to really take matters into his own hands. So when Shane is doing his silent morning meditation, Ilya steals his phone to message the WAG chat.
OttaWAGs 🏒🥰
Shane: hey girlies, wine night tomorrow at my house? 😈
Cassie: oh that’s sweet, not that I don’t love having everyone over, but it could be nice to have a little break from hosting
Shane: perfect! Dress code is hot and sexy 😉
Caitlyn: Um, you okay there Shane?
Shane: great! Can’t wait to see everyone 😜
-------
“Ilya, why did you buy so much wine?” Shane asks the next day, staring at the various bottles of expensive wine chilling in the fridge.
“Just trying to be the best host for my girlies,” Ilya winks, pushing past Shane to start setting up an elaborate cheeseboard.
“Who’s coming over?” Shane asks, suspiciously. “Are you using Pinterest to make a fucking charcuterie board?”
Just then the doorbell rings.
“Shane, go answer the door, I’m busy here,” Ilya instructs.
Shane rolls his eyes but goes to answer the door anyways. He’s confused when he opens the door to see almost all of the WAGs on his front porch.
“Shane! Thanks so much for hosting wine night this week,” Cassie grins.
“Um, wine night? Uh ok come in,” Shane nods, confused but still letting everyone into the house.
“Girlies! Please come in! Help yourself to wine and cheese. I am so honored to be hosting my first wine night!” Ilya grins, ushering people into the kitchen.
“Oh, Shane, you finally got him to get on board with wine night?” Cassie asks.
“Wait, finally get on board? What do you mean?” Ilya pauses, smile dropping from his face immediately.
“We’ve been asking Shane to try and get you to come to wine night this whole time! So we’re so happy to see you finally joining us, you are a WAG afterall,” Caitlyn explains.
“That’s so funny you say that because Shane never mentioned a thing to me,” Ilya says, glaring at the other man who looks like he’s about to make a run for it.
“Shane, really? We asked you so many times if Ilya wanted to join us,” Cassie says.
“That’s totally not cool,” Harris chimes in.
“Yeah Shane, not cool!” Ilya snaps. Everyone gathers around him to hug him in support.
“You purposely excluded a fellow WAG,” Cassie points out.
“Um, look guys. I know it was wrong. But I’m glad Ilya’s here now and I just want everyone to enjoy wine night!” Shane tries to defend himself.
“Look, I don’t know about everyone else, but I think I can forgive you,” Ilya sighs.
“Thank you, I’m really sorry-” Shane starts to say but is interrupted.
“I can only forgive you if you appoint me as head WAG,” Ilya says smugly.
“Wait, but I’m head WAG. It’s whoever is dating or married to the team captain,” Shane insists. “You can’t be both head WAG and team captain!”
“I think I can be whatever I want, considering you lied to me about wine night!” Ilya pouts.
“He’s got a point. I say Ilya is the new head WAG, sorry Shane,” Cassie says.
None of the other WAGs have any objections.
“For my first order as head WAG, I suggest we make Shane sit outside as punishment for breaking girl code,” Ilya says.
“What?! You can’t kick me out!” Shane sputters.
“Ladies, what do you think?” Ilya asks, turning to the rest of the group.
“Sounds fair to me,” Cassie shrugs.
“Yeah, I mean think about all the wine nights Ilya missed out on because of Shane. I think making him sit out for one is fair enough,” Lisa nods.
“...This is homophobic!” Shane exclaims.
“No it’s not, get your ass outside, Shane!” Harris snaps back.
The group works together to practically shove Shane out of his own house to sit like a sad, abandoned puppy on the back porch.
“Now that’s settled, who wants a frosty glass of rosé?” Ilya grins, leading the ladies and Harris into the kitchen.
Around 15 minutes into drinking wine and gossiping, Ilya excuses himself from the group. He pours a glass of chilled red and goes out to sit next to Shane on the back porch.
“Wine?” Ilya asks, handing the glass to his pouty boyfriend.
“Are you having fun in there?” Shane asks, glancing through the window to where all the WAGs are chatting and laughing.
“Yes, but not as fun without you,” Ilya chuckles.
“You asshole, you made me come out here!” Shane frowns.
“Yes, I am only messing with you. But now do you know how it feels to be excluded from wine night?”
“It sucks and I’m sorry. Can we be WAGs together?" Shane asks, holding his hand out for Ilya to shake.
“Even better yet, we can both be head WAG,” Ilya shakes Shane’s hand and pulls him in for a quick kiss to his cold cheek.
They return inside the rowdy house.
“Look who I found outside!” Ilya shouts over the noise. “I have an announcement, me and Shane are co-head WAGs now! Ok thank you.”
Everyone burst into overdramatic cheers. Shane rolls his eyes at the theatrics, but he is grinning ear to ear and easily settles back in with the group.