Work Text:
[ Shhh (13) ]
[Dancing Rain]: Hi everyone, let’s all stick around after practice tomorrow. I prepared a cake for Ye Xiu’s birthday, we can eat together~
[Dazzling Hundred Blossoms]: Hm?
[Dazzling Hundred Blossoms]: Oh yeah, it’s almost the 29th, about time he had his birthday.
[Troubling Rain]: It really is! Old Ye’s birthday, what a special occasion, are we just gonna cut some cake? How about we add some games and make this more interesting!
[Dancing Rain]: Hm, not a bad idea. What kind of event were you thinking?
[Troubling Rain]: Lemme see…
[Dazzling Hundred Blossoms]: Balance a small cake on top of the door, find a way to trick Ye Xiu inside, and once he pushes open the door he gets a face full of icing!
[Dancing Rain]: What an old school celebration, it really suits you.
[Dazzling Hundred Blossoms]: Hey, what’s that supposed to mean! I celebrate like this every year!
[Boundless Sea]: Now I’m curious, you do this at Tyranny too? On Han Wenqing’s birthday, you smash icing on Han Wenqing’s face?
[Immovable Rock]: He tried once, but it failed. He didn’t expect our boss to be the one pushing open the door for Captain Han, and so the cake fell entirely on the boss’s face.
[Boundless Sea]: Chapter 1, The Banished Boss. Captain Han, my b, I took your cake as soon as I arrived.
[Troubling Rain]: Hey what are you guys even talking about! I got it I got it, Old Ye’s Birthday Special Event, everyone has a 1v1 PK with Old Ye, and only the winners get to have cake! What do you guys think?
[Dancing Rain]: And if you lose?
[Troubling Rain]: Obviously you start another round and play until you win! Our Team China never gives up and never surrenders, okay!
[Immovable Rock]: ?
[Swoksaar]: ?
[Boundless Sea]: ?
[Boundless Sea]: Sending this question mark on behalf of Ye Xiu. So you’re just trying to torment Ye Xiu here?
[Troubling Rain]: Wahhhhhh Captain that’s not what I meant, we Blue Rain stick together, I’ll PVP for you!
[Crying Devil]: Huang Shaotian kills three birds with one stone.
[Life Extinguisher]: Can we not just eat cake?
[Troubling Rain]: Whaddya mean by that, you look down on me? Then all of you come up with ideas too! Miss Su can be the judge, we’ll go with the plan that gets the highest score!
[Troubling Rain]: As for the lowest-scoring plan, I’ll wait thirty-eight days until July 6 and use it for Wang Jiexi’s birthday.
[Vaccaria]: ?
[Demon Subduer]: Then I vote for Huang Shaotian’s plan as the worst.
[Vaccaria]: ?
[One Autumn Leaf]: If it’s Wang Jiexi’s birthday, why are we having everyone PVP Ye Xiu? And only the winners can eat Wang Jiexi’s cake? Isn’t that too much, what’s the relationship between these two?
[Vaccaria]: ?
[Crying Devil]: Huang Shaotian kills four birds with one stone.
[Boundless Sea]: May the counting devil log off please.
[Dancing Rain]: Alright, so far Huang Shaotian and Zhang Jiale have proposed activities. Any other suggestions?
[Boundless Sea]: I got it, we can have a lie detector celebration. Everyone gets hooked up to a lie detector and sincerely wishes Ye Xiu a happy birthday and for Happy to win the championship next year again. Liars get zapped!
[Life Extinguisher]: So this is the true Thunderclap event.
[Windy Rain]: If you want to hurt people you can just say so, why hide it. I say, how about we come together, everyone anonymously sends Ye Xiu a gift. He picks the one that’s his favorite, and whoever’s chosen wins a prize.
[Boundless Sea]: 29-year-old Ye Xiu playing the “baby’s first birthday” tradition?
[Cloud Piercer]: Prize is?
[Windy Rain]: Hm, haven’t thought of one yet.
[Troubling Rain]: An exhilarating 1v1 PK with Ye Xiu!!!
[Cloud Piercer]: ……
[Crying Devil]: Thirteen birds with one stone.
[Boundless Sea]: Turns out he’s killing everyone except himself.
[Life Extinguisher]: How about we all take turns singing Happy Birthday…
[Windy Rain]: Give Switzerland a bit of Haidilao flair? Or make it more esports-themed?
[One Autumn Leaf]: Rent a truck and drive up to the dorms with huge banners?
[Boundless Sea]: Our neighbor Team Korea is gonna be shocked, they’ll think that Team China’s fans are so crazy that they’ll bust out a truck even for a loss in a practice match.
[Swoksaar]: How about a practical gift, give God Ye tomorrow off.
[Vaccaria]: His work will be voluntarily taken up by Yu Wenzhou.
[Swoksaar]: His work will be taken up by Captain Wang.
[Swoksaar]: ^^
[Life Extinguisher]: What work does God Ye even have tomorrow? I’ve been brainwashed, all I remember is the PVP-ing everyone until he loses…
[Demon Subduer]: So Ye Xiu’s birthday event becomes, everyone PVPs Wang Jiexi?
[One Autumn Leaf]: Ye Xiu’s birthday, everyone has to PVP Wang Jiexi, and only the winners can eat Ye Xiu’s cake? What the hell is the relationship between these two?!
[Vaccaria]: ?
[Crying Devil]: World-famous painting, “The Birthday of Ye Xiu,” depicting twelve people lining up to PVP Wang Jiexi.
[One Autumn Leaf]: Isn’t 12+1=13, who’s missing?
[Crying Devil]: Missing Ye Xiu, because Ye Xiu got to the other side.
[Windy Rain]: What a corny joke.
[Vaccaria]: No, it’s one person lining up to PVP me. We national team are one, so Yu Wenzhou can represent you all to PVP me.
[Swoksaar]: ?
[Boundless Sea]: You must shoulder the cake of Team China, Wenzhou!
[Crying Devil]: Does anyone have the contact info of God Ye’s family? Since we’re in Switzerland right now, we could have his loved ones record a video for him as a gift.
[Dancing Rain]: This is something we Happy have already prepared~
[Boundless Sea]: 👍👍👍 So reliable!
[Demon Subduer]: Speaking of, why is it always us cooperating with the Alliance to put on an event? This time we should reverse it, make Chairman Feng and all the other higher-ups film a video to wish Ye Xiu happy birthday!
[Windy Rain]: Damn, now you’ve reached the two-star level of “junior succeeds senior.”
[Dancing Rain]: Is there anyone else who hasn’t suggested anything yet?
[Troubling Rain]: @Cloud Piercer @Cloud Piercer @Cloud Piercer @Cloud Piercer @Cloud Piercer
[Boundless Sea]: 🥺 Little Zhou, why aren’t you saying anything, you don’t like our God Ye?
[Cloud Piercer]: ……???
[Cloud Piercer]: I’m not……
[Cloud Piercer]: Just, not sure yet.
[Cloud Piercer]: Senior is great!
[Boundless Sea]: Then go ahead and express it, you can do it! Camaraderie doesn’t need to be expressed through words, actions work too. Last night you helped that foreigner grandma cross the road, and grandma was moved to tears!
[Cloud Piercer]: ……
[Cloud Piercer]: Help Senior cross the road?
[Cloud Piercer]: Senior doesn’t go outside.
[Boundless Sea]: Hm, but he goes to the bathroom?
[Cloud Piercer]: ……
[Cloud Piercer]: Help Senior go to the bathroom?
[Cloud Piercer]: Every day, every time?
[Troubling Rain]: That’s it I can’t take this any more, I can’t bear to imagine it, Ye Xiu’s birthday present is Zhou Zekai’s presentation of “Today I Start Going Potty On My Own.” For Ye Xiu’s sake I’m begging for a tutorial on how to slip and fall in the bath!
[Troubling Rain]: @Immovable Rock @Immovable Rock @Immovable Rock @Immovable Rock @Immovable Rock
[Troubling Rain]: Letting Zhou Zekai off the hook for now. You have any ideas?
[Immovable Rock]: How about making longevity noodles? We’ve been out of the country for a while, eating Western food this whole time. Besides, this is relatively easy to do, we won’t get food poisoning, and the symbolic
[Windy Rain]: ?
[Windy Rain]: Where’s the rest of the sentence? It’s only 22:54 so it’s not his bedtime yet, and losing power wouldn’t happen so fast?
[Boundless Sea]: Uh.
[Boundless Sea]: Breaking news, Zhang Jiale went to the convenience store downstairs to buy a small cake, and he was experimenting with how to balance the cake on the door so that it would get knocked over. Zhang Xinjie saw that it was almost bedtime so he got ready to go back to his room, and he pushed open the door and…
[Boundless Sea]: Zhang Xinjie has taken over as Tyranny’s boss.
[Dancing Rain]: ………………
[Crying Devil]: Dang, Wang Jiexi’s PVPs for Ye Xiu haven’t even begun yet and Zhang Xinjie has already tasted Ye Xiu’s cake for him.
[Dancing Rain]: Alright.
[Dancing Rain]: Hm, I need a bit more time to decide which idea gets the highest score.
[Dancing Rain]: But I’ve already decided which is the lowest score, and that’s Little Zhou’s suggestion of helping the birthday boy to the bathroom. So in thirty-eight days, get ready to help Captain Wang to the bathroom @Troubling Rain.
[Troubling Rain]: ???????????????
[Crying Devil]: Fourteen birds with one stone.