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Megumi might be a sex addict. Or a Yuji addict. Or possibly something in between.
Megumi knows that in some terrible alternate reality where he isn’t having sex with Yuji but with someone else instead, that it wouldn’t feel nearly as good.
It wouldn’t feel good at all, actually. It just couldn't. It wouldn’t.
Megumi’s never been interested in anything along the lines of sex— he’s never even wanted to hold someone’s hand, to be kissed, to be held. So how can he now explain wanting to be fucked down into his mattress until he’s screaming?
How can he explain wanting Yuji to cum inside of him so deep that he gets pregnant? A stupid and embarrassing and fucked out delirious thing to think, and that doesn’t make any sense at all, and that he’d never admit to. Ever.
Yuji makes everything strange. Everything tilt and warp and tremble.
Megumi can’t stop thinking about it.
It was already bad enough when Yuji and him were only touching with their hands. Moving onto using their mouths was exhilarating and mind numbing, and Megumi thinks he might like giving Yuji blowjobs far too much.
He’s never had any sort of oral fixation. He doesn’t bite his lips much, and he doesn’t chew gum or smoke or excessively snack on things. But lately, he thinks his mouth feels empty.
His lips feel fidgety, not having Yuji’s length pressed against them. Not being able to suck on his fingers or any part of his skin.
He even tastes him sometimes, when hours— days even, have gone by without him tasting him.
It stuck out to him one day in particular, and he couldn’t ignore it. He asked Nobara what it means if you can taste something random out of nowhere, feeling a bit lightheaded, and a bit confused. She shook her head and said it means you’re craving it, whatever the thing is.
Megumi blushed profusely at that, needing to hide his expression from her.
His body is literally craving Yuji.
That can’t be right, he thought. That doesn’t sound actually logical.
Upon seeing Yuji again once he returned to Tokyo from a mission though, Megumi figured that it does make perfect sense.
He can’t keep his hands off of him. It’s only gotten worse now, Megumi thinks, since they’ve fully had each other.
Yuji might be, if not is, even needier than he is. When he’s away, his texts usually consist of emoticons, and links to stupid videos, and random spammings of nonsense, and promises of coming home as soon as possible.
Lately though, they’ve also been filled with rather pathetic begging. Begging for Megumi to send him something. Whines about how he gets lonely at night without him. Pleads for Megumi to touch himself and then tell him what he’s doing, to explain how he’s doing it, in extreme detail.
Megumi can’t wrap his brain around it, around how this is his life now. He can easily remember finding the idea of simply just saying Yuji's first name to be daunting, and now he’s sending him voice notes of him sputtering and slurring over it.
They’re both annoyingly busy a majority of the time. Whenever they’re not working, lately, they’ve been together. Megumi thinks he should feel a little guilty, prioritizing Yuji over anything and anyone else.
It almost feels like when they first started dating and were still keeping their relationship a secret.
This is secret too though, Megumi knows. Secret in the sense that no one needs to know about this. No one needs to know what they get up to behind closed doors. This is private.
Megumi feels a little greedy, holding so much of Yuji’s attention, stealing him away from everyone else.
But Yuji is his boyfriend.
Megumi smiles stupidly to himself when he thinks that. Yuji is his boyfriend, and so no one should have any qualms with him for wanting to keep him all to himself.
Besides the fact that he misses Yuji’s company— his ridiculous rants, and jokes, and insights on movies and manga that Megumi doesn’t personally care about, although he does care that Yuji cares and so by extension yes he is invested— Megumi also misses Yuji’s hands on him.
His fingers spreading him open. His tongue lapping over his skin. His teeth biting into his flesh. His length pressing inside the deepest parts of him.
Megumi feels like a pervert. Entirely. A complete degenerate. Yuji’s turned him into one.
All he can think about is sex. Is them, making love together. He can’t stop himself. He feels shaky whenever Yuji is near. It might be a little too obvious, how they both always escape their friends to go back to the dorms.
No one’s made any comments and Megumi thinks he’d die from embarrassment if someone did.
He feels like this is a type of curse. All the new sudden feelings he has. This warmth and ripeness blooming in his chest. But if this is a curse, then that’s okay.
Megumi’s been plagued with curses since the day he was born. The good ones, the bad ones. Not all curses are lethal, Megumi knows this. Not all curses are demented and out to kill you, Megumi understands this.
It’s oxymoronic. Maybe nonsensical.
If Yuji’s a curse, then he’s like one of Megumi’s shikigami. Tamed and reverent and controlled and loving. Although, that’s a bad way of thinking about it, maybe.
If Yuji’s a curse then Megumi’s made some type of binding vow, where the two of them are steadily in agreement. Two equal parties, both getting exactly what they want.
If Yuji’s cursing him then it goes both ways. Megumi’s cursing him too. Congruent. Reflecting perfectly along the axis. Not skewed or taut.
A technique that they both understand. A flowing energy that stopped being scary and unfamiliar a long time ago.
Light and warm and incandescent. Sunlight seeping past a shadow.
The world’s spun around in reverse now— it’s flipped upside down. A curse can swiftly turn into a blessing, as long as you know how to manage it.
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
The wind blows lightly outside, brushing against the window softly, and Megumi’s laying under Yuji, trying to catch his breath.
Once they finally do manage to get a moment alone together, a moment where neither of them have anywhere to be for hours, they often find themselves always doing the same thing.
It’s only gotten worse now that they’ve taken each other’s virginity, Megumi thinks. Now that they’ve had each other, fully opened their bodies up to one another, Megumi doesn’t think they know how to stop, how to slow down.
And he doesn’t want to slow down. He doesn’t want this to end, to hesitate, to halt for even a second.
Megumi wants to try everything with Yuji. He doesn’t want there to be a single thing that’s off limits for them, that’s off the table.
He wants Yuji to sprawl himself out for him completely. Megumi wants to do horrible, horrible things to him. He has so so so many horrible things that he wants to do.
Gross things. Perverted things. Things that he’s never considered doing before in his life things. Things that he doesn't even know how he came up with on his own things.
Megumi has no idea where all of this is coming from, honestly. Yuji brings out something terrible in him. Something guttural and primal, and all too longing, and wanting, and desperate.
And he wants Yuji to do these things to him too. He thinks he likes that best. Letting Yuji be in control. Letting Yuji be on top. Letting Yuji be inside.
Megumi breathes out funnily, craning his neck to the side.
Yuji’s body shakes above his, leaning down against his chest. He lays into him and Megumi murmurs, holding him closer.
He can never quite get Yuji close enough to his heart. Even when Yuji is pressed so deep inside of him, even when his chest is brushing down into his own, he’s still too far away.
They melt into each other, sighing out faintly. They’re mostly under the covers. The sheets and comforter have gotten jostled around after all their movements at this point.
Megumi can’t keep track of how many times they’ve made love. He’s lost count of how many times in total— in the grand total of their relationship. He thinks he knew at one point. He thinks. He isn’t sure.
Yuji makes the time ebb and flow— fade away nicely. As if it doesn’t even exist at all. Time isn’t a construct that worries them.
Each time Megumi’s with Yuji, it feels like the first. The sky has warped and bended, and Yuji and him can remain in this moment and any other that they want. Forever. And never leave.
There’s not a word strong enough to carry this happiness.
It’s probably early morning now, a little bit past midnight. Something bubbles in Megumi’s chest, warm and tender, as Yuji trails his fingers along his skin. He leans his head up a little, laying more into Megumi’s neck, his eyelashes fluttering against him. It tickles.
“Have you ever read Tokyo Ghoul?” Yuji asks. He plants a kiss to his jaw.
Megumi almost laughs, purely from the randomness of the question. He tilts his head down a little, attempting to meet Yuji’s gaze.
“I’ve heard of it,” he smiles.
Yuji hums lightly, almost laughing too. A calm and content sound low in his chest, brushing up against Megumi.
“I read it a while ago. In the manga, when ghouls get married, it says that they bite each other.”
Yuji’s fingers flex on Megumi’s shoulder, over the bite mark he’s left on him.
It stings subtly. Megumi likes it. He’s fallen in love with the feeling, with the feeling of Yuji’s teeth searing into his flesh.
He can’t ever get enough of it. He can’t ever get enough of Yuji. Just Yuji, as he is. He thinks he’s turned into a pervert for sure.
But then, his heart’s not perverse like his body, literally craving him. It’s not perverse like his mind, imagining obscene things of him.
He’s been obsessed with Yuji for a long time now. And he still is— always will be— but just in a few different ways as of late that he’s still growing used to, is all.
It’s a nice thought to have, that he’s growing used to it. That these things already feel more natural than they did at the start.
“They bite each other, as hard as they can, leaving a scar that’s supposed to last forever…” Yuji’s words trail off beautifully. His nail scratches along the mark. Megumi twitches, he leans into him more.
“The two characters who end up getting married,” Yuji pauses, smiling to himself, “they bit each other on their shoulders.” His hold tightens on Megumi subtly. “It made me think of you.”
“Is that why you bite me there? Because of that manga?” Megumi teases.
“No,” Yuji shakes his head. “I didn’t even realize that I did it, until you told me,” he laughs a little and his words trail off again. Megumi watches the lines along his face relaxing. He looks tired. They should sleep soon.
“I do it on purpose now, although it’s almost impulsive,” he smiles wide, nearly grinning. Megumi stares at his teeth.
Yuji’s body moves over him more. He brings his lips up to Megumi’s ear. Megumi’s eyes close as he wraps his arms around Yuji’s neck, pulling him closer.
Yuji’s body dips lower again, falling on top of him. They shift around on the bed. The sheets move with them, getting even messier along the mattress.
Yuji’s heart beats down onto his. Megumi’s weight settles, accommodating for the pressure that is his boyfriend.
“I love biting you. I can’t help it,” he whispers, sweet and slow.
His teeth graze Megumi’s ear. They sink down gently and tug at the cartilage.
Megumi’s spine tingles, he breathes out funny. The chill he begins feeling passes over him, starting at his back and lingering throughout his entire body.
“I wanna marry you. I want you to be my husband, Megumi.” Yuji's voice shakes, going a little higher at the end. Like he’s asking, or rather— begging. It’s a desperate tone. Megumi feels undone.
Yuji’s body tenses above his. Megumi can feel his muscles pulsing. Can feel the beat of his heart rising, going out of sync with his own.
He drapes his hands down along Yuji’s back. Yuji hisses almost as he does so.
Megumi knows that Yuji can’t get enough of him either. It doesn’t matter how many times they’ve made love— just how long they’ve gone on for.
Yuji’s head falls further into the crook of Megumi’s neck. He drags his lips along, pressing his mouth into his throat and traveling up, sweet breaths and sighs falling out and into Megumi’s ear. Telling movements and practiced strides, as he rubs against his skin.
Yuji goes up and down, over his lobe and back to his neck. He whines and pushes with his teeth. Not biting, but shaking so badly like he wants to— like he needs to.
Megumi’s brain melts at the idea, at this reality. That Yuji is his, that Yuji wants him. Needs him. That Yuji is only his. That he likes him. That he wants to marry him? Apparently? Megumi’s soul clenches.
“I wanna bite you,” Yuji whimpers.
Megumi runs his fingers through his hair. He pulls him closer to his neck.
“Then bite me,” his voice trembles.
“I want you to ask me,” Yuji says, tone going darker. “I want you to beg me for it, darling."
Megumi pulses under him. Unfamiliar. Wanting to learn. Wanting to know the inflection of his voice when he calls for him. When he calls him darling. When he says things like that.
Wanting to get used to it— knowing, in a way, that he can’t. Not completely. Knowing, in a way, that Yuji will always feel too good to be true, dropping into his life so suddenly, so abruptly, out of nowhere. But then staying there. Staying.
Yuji’s not far away or distant. He’s so close, hanging over him.
Yuji’s legs press into his own. His chest falls against him more. Megumi can feel it— he doesn’t know where he feels it, they’re laying so close together, their bodies don’t feel separate but like one entity— and he can feel it. Yuji’s heartbeat thumping against his own somewhere.
They’re congruent. Reflecting across a sea of numbers. Crossing over and overlapping perfectly. Seamlessly. Sunlight meeting shadow.
Megumi’s not the same as Yuji and that’s okay. Yuji’s not the same as Megumi and this is more than okay.
Yuji has him. Yuji has him and Megumi’s staying too. He’s staying. Will always stay, will always be right here, with Yuji.
“Please, baby,” Megumi begs, and Yuji whines, a bone-chilling sound.
Megumi’s eyes almost roll back— he feels extremely pathetic. Entirely feeble for Yuji. He can feel himself getting hard again. They should be asleep. They should have been sleeping hours ago.
“Please, I need you.”
Yuji breathes out— relief maybe— across his skin. Teeth digging into him, all too gratifying. Megumi cries out, quiet and shaky. His legs wobble under him. Yuji’s body pushes into him, pressing him further down.
Megumi wants him. He wants Yuji to break him, to push him to an edge that he can’t step off of. To press him to his limit. To be mean. To not care. To want him so badly that nothing else matters. That nothing else matters except for this. Except for feeling good, for feeling euphoric.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” Yuji slurs.
His teeth travel across his skin. Megumi cranes his head back, he bares his neck to him.
It feels animalistic, like Yuji could kill him. Split his throat open with his teeth, and lap at his blood. Bathe in his death.
And Megumi would let him. He gives him that trust. Yuji revels in it. They feel like animals, acting off instinct. Not being able to go against their desires.
Megumi can’t pull his hands away from him. He’d let Yuji kill him. He’d laugh crazily, and watch the blood sputter out from his own mouth, dripping past his chin.
Yuji would let Megumi kill him. He’d laugh stupidly, eyes fond and intently on Megumi, letting him do anything to him. Letting him hurt him. Not caring what he does as long as his hands are on him. As long as it means he’s touching him. Having some form of close proximity to him.
It’s about the control. It’s about the trust. It’s about knowing what power you hold and knowing how far you can take it. Knowing how far you’re allowed. It’s knowing you’re allowed anything. It’s knowing, knowing, knowing.
Megumi knows Yuji. He knows everything there is to know about him. If there’s something he doesn’t know he learns.
Yuji tells him. Megumi records it, holds it in his hands. Eats it. Smears it into his face, over his lips, and into his mouth. Welcomes it into his stomach.
Anything that he learns supersedes time. Everything about Yuji and him does. As if it’s the first time, as if it’s new information. As if it’s the millionth time, as if Yuji’s repeated it— told him this exact same thing for forever.
“I’m yours, Megumi,” Yuji promises.
It feels like Megumi’s heard this exact string of words leaving Yuji’s mouth and falling into his ears an infinite amount of times over.
“You’ve ruined me for anyone else.”
His nails scratch along Megumi’s neck. He brings his lips up to his jaw. He bites and licks and kisses up to his mouth. Megumi moans into his teeth. He holds him closer. Yuji melts into him. Megumi grips him tighter.
He can’t hold all of Yuji in his hands, his sunlight creeping past the edges of his fingers. Megumi wants to hold him, and caress him. Protect him. Keep him, and never let go.
Yuji is vast, and powerful, and all too much to comprehend. Megumi feels dizzy even thinking about him. Especially looking at him. Definitely touching him. As if Yuji is the sun. Sunshine, and a clear sky. A bright expanse of blue. A beautiful landscape of atmosphere.
Yuji’s a solar eclipse. A scientific anomaly. Megumi will go blind staring at him.
He’s not anything nearly as vast in comparison. He’s feeble.
He’s something small and fidgety, and Yuji’s something otherworldly. A supernova. A collusion of particles in space. A curious and giggling shining star, peering down, and reaching out, and cupping Megumi in his palms.
Yuji kisses him. He breathes his stardust into his mouth. Megumi sucks him in. His soul trembles from the taste.
Yuji is sweet. He tastes like every single thing that Megumi has ever wanted. Megumi’s deserving. He’s deserving of this. Yuji’s said so. He’s told him.
You deserve every good thing in this world.
Megumi’s blood sings. It sizzles giddily under his skin. His cursed energy buzzes, fluctuating— he’s too happy. Yuji’s going to drown him in this happiness.
Their hands glide against each other, impatient but slowed. They’re tired. They should be asleep.
Megumi arches under Yuji’s touch. Yuji squeezes and presses along his marks, the many marks that he’s left engrained into his skin. They can’t last forever. They’re not ghouls.
“Bite me,” Yuji breathes. “On my shoulder. Make it hurt.”
Something simmers in Megumi’s mind. Needy. Too wanting, too eager.
He pulls deeply in Yuji’s hair. Their hips begin rolling into each other. Yuji’s hard too. Their erections rub together messily. Megumi brings his lips to Yuji’s skin. He licks along his bone, he bites into his flesh. Yuji gasps, rocking down into him faster.
It’s tantalizing and freeing, being under Yuji like this, feeling him throb and moan and twitch because of him, because of his touch. Because of his impact.
Megumi’s mind tracks somewhere a very small distance away. He can see the two of them in the room, laying down, lying into each other, melting into the other’s skin.
Yuji groans and Megumi’s eyebrows twitch at the sound. He sucks him into his teeth. He kisses him shortly and then bites him again.
“Harder, baby,” Yuji’s voice shakes. “Told you to make it hurt.”
“I can’t leave a scar that’ll stay,” Megumi tells him. Although he bites him again— feeble— sucking harder.
Yuji’s shoulders tense, his muscles strain. Megumi takes his lips back. He tugs on Yuji’s hair, bringing his ear close, whispering into his brain,
“I’m not sure that’s possible, Yuji.”
“Doesn’t hurt to try, right?” Yuji says, a bit pathetic. He’s feeble for Megumi too. “I don’t mind the pain…” His voice trails off. Sinister. He presses his nails to Megumi’s shoulder.
Megumi winces, leaning closer into his ear, knowing his sighs are falling clear and embarrassing into Yuji’s mind. He doesn’t care. He likes Yuji too much. He forgets to be embarrassed sometimes.
“And you’re good with pain too,” Yuji says. Dark. Tender. He whispers to him, “You like it, don’t you? My little masochist.” He grips his shoulder tighter, nails pressing into his bones.
“S—Sadist,” Megumi’s voice shakes.
“Anything for you, baby,” Yuji promises.
He kisses his ear. His teeth dig into him right after, sharp and sudden— and Megumi’s body is alert. His erection twitches. He feels his groan get punched out of him from his chest.
Yuji licks over his lobe, shushing him softly. The ghost of an apology.
“Anything you want, Megumi,” his voice wobbles, although his tone is steady. So fucking resolute it’s scary.
You’d really do that for me? An old question that’s never said between them anymore. That maybe, never, had to be said at all, in the first place. Even way back then.
Yuji presses Megumi down into the mattress. His fingers squeeze around his waist. Megumi feels his bones creak as he sighs out.
Yuji’s strong. Megumi knows he could overpower him. He thinks he wants him to. He thinks Yuji wants him to want him to. He thinks Yuji wants it himself.
Megumi wants to take anything for him. He wants to be good for him.
“Can I go back inside of you?”
“Yuji,” Megumi sighs, trying to sound exasperated but coming off fond instead.
“I don’t even have to move. I just wanna feel you. You’re so warm.”
“Yuji,” Megumi sighs, his voice still not coming out the way he wants it to. “We need to sleep.”
“I know, baby, I know. I won’t move. Not unless you say I can— just wanna feel you.”
“Yuji.” Megumi’s mind is spinning, tracking somewhere a very small distance away.
Lingering on the walls that have heard so much— echoes of pleasure that have gone on for hours— and then onto the ceiling that’s caught so much depth— that Megumi has stared up at on nights like this. Fucked out and delirious and wanting more more more— lastly dragging down over the floor. The old worn out wood of the dorms that always creaks. That nearly squeaks when Yuji and him untangle from each other. When they balance together, a codependency of limbs that never want to detach, as they stagger to the bathroom to get themselves clean.
“F—Fuck… just for a second.”
Yuji smiles, candescent. A sleepy satisfied expression.
He moves his hand around the bed, searching for the lube. Megumi’s shaking under him, trying to remind himself that they need to sleep. Not being able to focus too clearly on that though, as he watches Yuji’s muscles flexing slightly.
As he takes note of the way Yuji pauses, warming the lube for him before he goes to spread it— how it’s gentle now against his skin. Not cold and cutting, but hot and sweet— how it feels like sunlight.
Like Yuji has cut a hole open in the sun, and has syphoned its energy out, just for him. Like Yuji has cut a hole open in himself, and is letting his sunlight bleed out, only for him.
No one else would ever be quite this gentle.
Even if a level of tenderness was possible, it wouldn’t be anywhere near Yuji. Not for Megumi. He’s completely surrendered to Yuji. He’s ruined him for anyone else too. Cursed him even— The world warps, it spins— Blessed him. Completely fucking enchanted and sunshine whipped.
Yuji spreads him open. Soft and eager and wanting. Familiar and safe and giving.
Megumi’s eyes almost trail back, but he fights the feeling— needing to stare at Yuji as he holds him steady. As he holds his erection in place over his rim.
As he presses himself inside him slowly. So fucking slow that it should be illegal. So fucking slow that it feels like torture. That it feels like taunting. Goading.
“Tell me to move, baby,” Yuji says, voice faint yet clear. A challenge. A tease. A manuscript playing out perfectly in Megumi’s mind.
Predictable. Very Yuji. They wouldn’t even have to talk to each other to convey what they feel. But Megumi talks anyway. He frowns at him.
“N—No.” His voice fails him as he feels himself arching back.
Yuji holds his hips in place. He inches inside of him. Megumi’s attempts at stubbornness have no place in the position he’s in right now.
He can feel his skin spreading open— blooming for Yuji— effortlessly yielding to his touch. The stretch is easy, still just as reeling as always though.
Megumi cries out, his eyes closing as he cranes his head back into the pillows. He scratches across Yuji’s back and he groans— sputtering forward suddenly. Pushing inside him harshly. Going uncoordinated and clumsy— accidental.
Megumi bites his lip to hold in his sounds. Yuji sighs around a curse as their hips meet.
Megumi can’t stop his face from scrunching up— his lips from trembling. You’d think that his body would be used to this by now. Used to the give and soft in the take. If not in general then at least tonight, after Yuji's already just made love to him.
But no, he can’t breathe properly. His senses leave him maybe, when Yuji’s too deep inside him like this. Everything fades away, and the world shifts, threatening to split in two.
Megumi’s body strains against it, like he wasn’t meant to do this— but no, the sky creaks until the clouds twist— Megumi was made for this. Made for taking Yuji. Made for being good for him.
His body settles and learns, remembers its place. He can’t put a name to how Yuji relaxes him. To how Yuji makes him feel safer than he does by himself, with his own hands trying to please and knead against his skin.
Yuji’s fingers find their way back onto Megumi’s waist. He’s gentler with him somehow. Gentler than Megumi is with himself.
His nails dig into him slightly. His lips press to his forehead. Megumi twitches as Yuji kisses him, trailing his mouth up to his hair.
He tightens around Yuji, and feels his pulse— can feel his veins beating into him. Can feel the blood traveling through his body. Can feel their heat flush together, like Megumi’s orbiting him, but he’s come too close now— it’s too fucking much.
“Y—Yuji,” Megumi gasps. A plea, a question maybe, a prayer.
He clenches around him without thinking— without meaning to.
His body’s learned. It remembers. Yuji’s this deep and not moving. His body’s confused. A series of neurons are hitting a strange wall, shooting nowhere. Ping-ponging up and down, left and right, back and forth, and trying to land on something that makes sense. Something tangible.
Megumi’s hips push on their own, and Yuji is gentle in catching him. In stopping him. Megumi grumbles but doesn’t want to give up— doesn’t want to give in. Although his hips aren’t responding to this thought, still attempting to move slightly.
Yuji is mean and a tease, and a sadist and a masochist, all at the same time. He holds him in place. He remains unmoving, deep inside of him.
“Can we sleep like this?” Yuji asks, kissing his scalp, pressing his hands into his hips, into his bones.
Megumi’s eyes flutter open, almost rolling back. “N—No, pervert.” He gasps out, trying to suck the sound back into his mouth, not wanting to fold so easily but knowing that he is. That he will.
Yuji laughs and it hits Megumi directly at his core.
They should sleep, and he’s tired. And Yuji’s tired too, no doubt. But it’s them, Megumi thinks. It’s them and they can’t keep their hands off each other. It’s impossible.
Yuji makes this feel impossible, and maybe Megumi makes a few things feel impossible for Yuji too.
Megumi shudders, his body trying to arch up again. Yuji’s faster than him, stronger than him. Tantalizingly so. So vast yet so gentle. Cupping all of Megumi in his palms.
He holds him down, keeps him in place. Keeps himself steady and firm, inside of him. Megumi’s lip quivers, nearly falling open.
“You’re too deep,” he groans, sounding more choked out than he wanted. He’s giving in and he knows it.
“Do you want me to move?” Yuji asks, and Megumi knows he’s smiling like an idiot.
“N—No,” he lies, and Yuji laughs again. Megumi knows Yuji knows this too.
“Do you want me to pull out?” A stupid teasing question.
“Ah—” Megumi sighs, jerking upwards. Yuji doesn’t let him.
“Yuji,” he whines, annoyed.
Megumi’s world is always crumbling at the edges. Usually harsh and rigid and black. Cutting and mean. Easy to snag on and easy to bleed.
“Megumi,” he echoes his name back at him.
Yuji makes Megumi’s world softer and brighter. Pretty and sweet around the edges. So pliant now that they really aren’t even edged at all.
Not rigid, but putty. Impossible to cut you. Impossible to hurt. Colorful and phosphorus and sleek. A somehow kind apocalypse to meet.
“B—Baby.”
“Yeeeah?” Yuji drawls out.
Stupid, mean boy.
“You, you can,” he pauses, “you know that I,” another pause. “I—”
“I wanna hear you say it, baby.” Yuji shifts above him. Ever so slightly. Not enough friction to shift inside him at all. Just enough for Megumi to lift his hips again though, and try to bait him.
Yuji’s hold on him tightens. It’s boarding on painful. Megumi’s voice gets caught in his throat. He can’t speak.
Yuji’s world is a safer place than Megumi’s. Caressing and promising. Giving, even if he’s hurting. Even if he’s teasing.
“Need you to tell me, Megumi.”
Yuji’s tone is steady and dark. So fucking sure of himself that Megumi wants to smack him, or let him do whatever he wants to him. Let his shadow be consumed by his light… Yeah, definitely the latter.
“I—I,” his voice fails him.
Yuji’s hands trail up his skin, slow and smooth, and Megumi’s body practically moves on its own— moves purely off instinct.
His legs wrap around Yuji, locking together by his ankles, and Yuji leans further over him. It somehow feels like he’s pressing even deeper, even though Megumi was sure he was as far as he could go.
Yuji’s eyes lock on his and Megumi feels his breath catching as he gets lost in his gaze. His warm eyes. That soft brown. Dazzling, candescent. The dilation of his pupils— his want traveling and bouncing down to Megumi, being thrown right back at him. Pleading, and searching. So focused on Megumi and no one else.
Yuji’s his. He belongs to him.
“I—”
“Megumi.”
Yuji’s eyebrows twinge. His hands settle on the pillows, his fingers close to Megumi’s hair, laying messily against the fabric. His arms bracketing him in. Keeping him so close.
“Megumi, tell me. Want you to ask me.”
Ask sounds a lot more like beg, the way Yuji says it. His voice a little fractured, his tone going too reverent at the end it should be ironic. Their positions feel warped. Reflecting over the axis.
Megumi purses his lips to hide a moan. He can’t stop his shaking. His cheeks are heating up.
He wants to be good. He wants to be Yuji’s. He is Yuji’s. He’s Yuji’s past forever. Time doesn’t exist for them. The two of them are above that.
“…P—Please move,” he whimpers, soft and relenting. Blushing harder. Giving in. “Make love to me.”
It’s as simple as that. The give and the take. Yuji doesn’t need to be told twice. He rocks his hips down, their skin brushing firmly together. They both gasp.
Yuji’s too far— too sudden to be moving. He lets out a shaky breath like he knows, like he’s figuring out how to rearrange himself.
Megumi’s hole flutters around him as he pulls back slightly, needing to gain more traction before dragging back inside. Before taking care of Megumi in the way that he needs.
Megumi’s eyes are locked on him, intently caught on his brows furrowing as he thrusts inside of him. Watching him concentrate with his eyes closed and his lips parted, as he finds a rhythm and speed.
The world is something different when it comes to Yuji. So many things are. Concepts disappearing and reappearing. Sputtering— changing, oh so rapidly.
Megumi can’t keep up. He doesn’t want to. Not right now.
His hands shoot to the back of Yuji’s neck, holding him there tightly, trying to ground himself. His eyes track around Yuji’s face as his nose scrunches, like he’s in pain— like it feels too good.
And Yuji was denying himself. Not letting himself have this. Not letting them both have this.
Megumi whines, muffled, hoping it’s mostly to himself. He feels his lips hanging open, his words leaving him all on his own.
“Break me. F—Fuck, Yuji, please.”
He’s not sure what it means. But a low sound escapes from Yuji’s throat, guttural and clinging, and fuck, he likes that reaction.
Yuji’s forehead presses to Megumi’s. His eyelashes flutter at him as his forearms twitch around him, the muscles tensing right by his head.
Megumi reaches a shaky hand up and presses it along his bicep, feeling him there. Needing to feel him there.
He can’t look anywhere else— anywhere else other than Yuji’s eyes— at the blazing want dripping down from them and falling along his body.
Yuji’s arms slide that much closer to him, like he’s boxing him in, like he’s spreading his body out and around him until there’s nothing left to be seen. Sunlight swallowing shadow. Holding, protecting.
Megumi doesn’t know what sound escapes him, it’s so foreign. Yuji’s pushing up into the softest parts of him, making him melt underneath, and he can’t think much of anything.
Much of anything other than that it’s good. That it’s good. It’s good it’s good and it’s good— and he needs more. Wants more. Doesn’t want to be greedy. Would like more. Please.
“Please. Yuji, please.” Megumi doesn’t know what he means. What he’s saying. “N—Need you.”
“Yeah?” Yuji’s breath catches, it falters.
Megumi doesn’t miss it, staring up at him, watching the subtle changes in his expression as his muscles flex around him. As he drags an arm away and lower, running his palm against his chest— across his stomach. Pressing down like he’s trying to feel it— feel himself inside him. Pressing down where Megumi knows— fuck— where Megumi knows he’s buried in his flesh.
“I— You—” Yuji sputters around himself.
Megumi’s small, yet still important. Yuji’s vast and phosphorus and Megumi can still make him sound like this. Can still make him look like this. Can still make him turn like this— his body sinking lower into Megumi’s body, their heartbeats becoming congruent. The steady pace of them hitting up and down inside their ribs. The matching noise of the bedframe easing under them. The increasingly growing sound of skin on skin— of slick and lube and sweat and sweltering.
“Baby,” Megumi moans, faint, voice taut and pulled.
Yuji’s hand, still by his head, grips his hair. Megumi’s whines feel strained, even more so, as he holds him roughly in place, down along the pillows.
Yuji keeps gripping tighter, somehow tighter, even as it feels like he can’t possibly push any more. Against his hair, along his stomach. His fingers drift off, lingering now onto his waist, and Megumi jolts— like he’s been electrocuted.
Yuji’s hands are molten, and Megumi feels ice cold in comparison. Even as Yuji is so close, their skin flush together. That chill pierces his spine and Megumi’s freezing somewhere.
Along his back, across his shoulders, at the tips of his nerve endings. And he needs Yuji to burn him, to warm him up, to spill more sunlight in his mouth, over his body and rinse it into his skin.
Yuji kisses him, his mouth sloppy against him. Biting, licking, not quite deciding what to do and how to position himself. Shifting around above him, hitting harsher inside of him. Trailing his hand from his waist to his thigh, getting better control of him.
Megumi goes easy, always so easy for him. Yuji revels in this, he must. He groans into Megumi’s neck as he sucks, marking him, bruising him.
Megumi fits into Yuji’s palms. Yuji can hold him, mold him, do whatever he wants to him. Megumi likes feeling small, likes feeling protected, likes feeling safe.
He trusts Yuji more than anything, like they’re animals and Yuji could rip his throat apart. Like such a thing is instinctual. Like Yuji needs it but holds back.
Megumi doesn’t want him to hold back. He wants Yuji to take him for everything that he is, unravel him and then sew him back together.
He’s so gentle in this, even gnawing at his neck. A carnage that might look deathly from afar, but is so warranted up close. So receiving. Not coveted. But given.
He’s gentle in this. Even gentler after. A carnage that doesn’t look like carnage at all. Yuji washing his back, running his hands all along his skin, in his hair. Soothing, apologizing, asking if it’s okay.
More focused then, less hungry, but still searching and coaxing— and it kills Megumi entirely. The epilogue might be even more tortuous than the climax.
Megumi wouldn’t skip it— not any of it— to push ahead or travel back into any other part though.
He wants it all. Everything. He needs everything that Yuji can give him— wants to give him. And Yuji wants to give him everything, has said it. Has promised. Wants to marry him. Maybe. A tired and slightly fucked out thing to say, to mention, but true nonetheless, Megumi knows this. Is so so sure of this.
Yuji’s thrusts are deep but not shallow. Forward and focused and hitting and pulsing— his length massaging into Megumi just right. His erection relaxing Megumi’s muscles until they catch. Not straining anymore, not taut, but relenting. Settling. Accepting of this pressure.
Yuji’s so close. Barely pulling out at all. Like he can’t bring himself to draw away from him.
Megumi shudders at the thought. He bites his lip to stay quiet. His skin is buzzing— he’s twitching around Yuji’s length, starting to yield to him properly. But still— It’s a lot.
“Megumi,” Yuji chokes his name out. His fingers curl and weave through his hair, dragging him closer.
Can we get any closer? Megumi asks himself, and he doesn’t know what this means either. He doesn’t know.
His lips are trembling, curving up into a smile, like his body has the answer. Like somehow somewhere inside of him, he knows.
And Yuji knows this too. They both know.
“You— You want me to be rough with you?” Yuji breathes, and it might as well not even be a question. His nails scrape against his thigh and his hold is stinging on his hair, and Megumi wants to call him stupid for asking.
“Yes,” Megumi nods, feeling far out of his body. Feeling light and silky— unspooling. Wanting Yuji to go further. To push farther. To peel all of his layers back.
“Yes, fuck, please,” Megumi rasps, wanting to be good. Wanting to beg for Yuji, just like he told him to. “We— We can sleep like this.” His voice fractures. His moans are embarrassing. “You can fuck me to sleep.”
Yuji whines from his words, his eyes closing, his face trembling closer to him. Megumi sobs into his lips as he bites him, his own eyes craning closed as he settles into the feeling.
Yuji’s teeth are relentless, just like the rest of him— his strides going deeper— pulling back further now to come back hitting even harder. His pace getting faster— the sound of the slick squelching and spitting echoing throughout the room, causing Megumi’s cheeks to flush, his face to feel fuzzy. Nearly vibrate.
Megumi can feel himself opening up more, trying to accommodate for it. The pressure. The widening. The unforgiving torrent of it. Animalistic. Just needing. Yuji needs him so badly he’d even hurt him. He wants to hurt him. Sadist.
“Tell me I feel good,” Megumi slurs, not being fully aware if he thought it or said it.
“Fuck— you feel perfect, Megumi,” Yuji tells him and Megumi gasps, not knowing what to do with everything bubbling inside of him. His erection twitches against his stomach, needy, but faraway.
Megumi arches upwards, his hands reaching across Yuji’s back. Wanting to cling to Yuji more than even wanting to touch himself.
“Fuck, you make me feel so good, baby,” Yuji whines, and it’s gratifying in ways Megumi doesn’t understand to be possible.
Yuji spreads his leg out, pushing down firmly against his thigh. Megumi practically folds, his body twisting to regulate, to accentuate for the shift in limbs. To try and supersede the pain. Yuji’s hand leaves his hair though— he grips his other thigh and rearranging becomes impossible.
Megumi yields easily. He’s malleable for him. The softest form of putty. The softest material in the world.
Yuji hits too deep at this angle. Too far. Too sudden— his pace picking up desperately as he bends Megumi into himself. His body pushing into Megumi too frantic, too consuming.
Like a wave washing over you again and again and again. Megumi feels swallowed, pried open. Yuji bites at his lip harsher, as if to affirm this, that he is going to peel his skin back, lick at his organs, sip at his blood.
Megumi cranes his head back, dragging out of the kiss and pulling his lips away. Yuji doesn’t relent though, keeping his teeth against him, dipping into him even sharper as he draws back.
They feel like animals. Like Yuji could eat him. Like Yuji’s preying on him. Stalking him.
Megumi’s lost all of his survival instincts. He’d twist his own ankle on purpose, fall to the ground and make it easy. Make it easy for Yuji to catch him, to catch him with his teeth.
You’re gonna make me bleed again, Megumi thinks. More prayer than thought.
He doesn’t think he can speak properly. He doesn’t think he can say it. He tries to, his mouth hanging open and his tongue clicking uselessly.
His lips are swollen from all of Yuji’s biting. He doesn’t want his mouth to heal, nor his shoulder, nor any other place where Yuji’s wounded him.
“I can’t understand you, baby,” Yuji breathes.
His teeth leave him and Megumi whines at the loss, at the lack of pressure. He sputters some more, another feeble attempt at speech.
Yuji’s hand scratches along his thigh and makes this even more impossible. Megumi feels his fingers landing on his throat, pressing him down into the pillows so fast that he doesn’t even gasp— Not a single surprised breath leaves him.
His brain catches up, and then his body. Feeling the pressure and not wanting the release. Drifting up higher, trying to get his body to move in tandem with Yuji’s. Trying to input in his brain how he can guide Yuji to choke him with just displaying his neck alone.
Megumi’s eyes flutter open and closed, vision softening, fading, losing himself to Yuji’s heat, to his length, finding that he’s going delirious again. Thinking about getting pregnant. Thinking about breaking. Thinking about Yuji wanting him so badly that he can’t help but bite him bite him bite him bite him bite him—
“Megumi,” Yuji’s voice calls out to him. His eyes flicker, half-lidded, opening a bit more once he takes note of Yuji’s expression.
His eyes are so dark, clouded over— staring at him like he’s hungry. Like Megumi’s enticing. Appetizing. Like he won’t let them sleep at all tonight, or let them leave this room ever again even.
“You want me to be rough with you,” Yuji echoes. Not a question or confirmation, but Megumi nods, feeling so far out of his mind.
Yuji’s fingers wrap around his neck. Megumi feels his pulse thrumming into his touch. Yuji’s gaze lingers before trailing back up to his face, catching and then locking. Staying there. Staying.
“Do you want me to choke you?” Yuji asks and his fingers tremble, like he’s holding back, like Megumi’s already said yes and he can’t wait to actually hear him say it.
“Can I choke you, darling?”
But Yuji does wait. He does. He’s good for Megumi too. Annoying. Too good. Holding himself back. Masochist.
Megumi nods, desperate. Feeling mute and boneless.
“Tell me.” Something simmers in Yuji’s eyes, searching and familiar. Wanting and incandescent. “Tell me, Megumi.”
His hand moves back a little, and Megumi can breathe— wasn’t sure if he was breathing before— isn’t sure what breathing means if Yuji isn’t kissing him, if Yuji doesn’t have some part of his body trailing along his neck or his mouth.
Megumi gasps sharply, feeling the tip of Yuji hitting over and over again inside him— as far as he should be able to go.
He’s moving so fast— so sure of himself— that Megumi wonders if he can spread him out even farther than this. Make a new hole inside him. If that would hurt— Fuck, yeah that would hurt— How much that would hurt. Just how much.
If he could take it— He could. He would take it. Yuji would make it feel good. Could make anything feel good somehow. Makes unappealing things seem interesting. Makes sinful acts look heavenly. Look god-like.
Megumi swallows. He can breathe. Even with Yuji thrusted so deep inside him. Even with their bodies so close and with the air around them feeling humid, feeling sparkly, and sweaty. He can breathe.
“Please.” The word feels long and drawn out as it escapes him, breathy and panting and overwhelmed. “Please. Don’t— don’t even ask me.”
“Have to ask you, baby,” Yuji smiles. He leans his body lower, kissing him, drinking up the broken words that start falling from his mouth. “So cute when you ask.”
“Yuji.” Megumi squirms under him. It’s all too much.
“Have to ask you, baby,” Yuji repeats, licking at his lips, pressing his thigh out more— stretching him.
“N—No,” Megumi tries to shake his head. “N—No, you, you don’t.”
His hands tangle deep in Yuji’s hair. Yuji nips at his mouth. His hand pushes down on his neck again. His fingers squeeze slightly. Megumi’s eyes twinge at the feeling. He’s feeble.
“You don’t have to ask me,” Megumi tells him, his voice sounding so shot— not his normal self. A better version that Yuji brings out of him.
Yuji’s gaze is settled on him, focused and unrelenting. If Megumi’s embarrassed, his want bypasses that.
Yuji looks at him like he’s the best thing to ever exist.
“I want you— want you to be rough with me.”
Yuji’s thrusts sputter, as if on cue. Dragging out further and pushing back harsher. The tip nearly slides out— it all happening so fast and so sharp— A violent ricochet of their skin. A piercing caress of Yuji’s warmth mixing with his own.
Megumi’s words are bleeding again, seeping out of him. His eyes are starting to feel watery. He might bleed from there too.
“Choke me,” he sputters. “Bite me. Make me bleed. Make me cry. Keep going even when I say stop.”
“M—Megumi,” Yuji’s voice stifles. His length pushes up inside of him. The curve of it, the size, pressing hot and heavy— and now hesitating, Megumi can tell. Twitching. Holding back. Annoyingly.
“Don’t s—stop. No matter what I tell you.”
“Baby—”
“No matter what I tell you.” I’ll kill you if you stop, he thinks to add. He means to add.
The words that do escape him come out much, much softer. The world ending.
“Please. I need you,” Megumi rasps, faint. Almost scared, but not quite.
There’s never a reason to be scared with Yuji. Megumi’s almost scared of himself, the way he is with him. Scared he’ll say the wrong thing and then Yuji will react badly. Scared that he’ll fuck something up somehow and then Yuji will look at him like he’s crazy. Or worse. Weird.
“I love you, Megumi,” Yuji tells him. So sudden and so deep and right now— as his eyes are locked on him. As he’s pushing inside of him, stupidly slowing down— and something settles inside Megumi. Whatever’s worrying. Whatever’s grimacing. It slips away.
“I love you.”
“I love you, Yuji.”
It feels too easy to say. So so easy to say back to him. So easy that he has to say it back to him— has to say it again.
“I love you, Yuji.”
“I love you, Megumi.” Yuji smiles, sunshine spreading all around. “My baby. My blessing.”
Megumi’s eyelashes are wet. His tears wanting to give, and him not letting them.
He stares into Yuji, not feeling like his words are expansive enough for him to convey everything that he means, everything that he needs. Just how much he fucking loves him.
“Choke me,” he whines, not feeling enough pressure from Yuji’s fingers.
“Megumi.” Yuji stares back at him, like words aren’t enough for him either. “I thought you wanted to sleep,” he almost laughs, voice tight and sweet, picking up some of his pace slightly. Megumi’s mouth hangs open, brain scrambling to keep up with him.
“I t—told you,” he sighs, nails scratching deeper into Yuji as he trembles, “Fuck me to sleep, Yuji. We— We can sleep like this.”
“Megumi.” Yuji’s forehead catches on his, their eyes too close now— As if such a thing is actually possible— Yuji being too close to him in any way.
Megumi would sew their cursed energy together if he could. Open up lesions in their skin and let himself and Yuji fade into each other no matter how painful, no matter how excruciatingly long it would take.
“Can you do that for me?” Megumi asks, knowing. Trusting. Baiting. He can read Yuji’s mind. “Can you be good for me?”
Yuji breathes out, his thrusts spasming— unsteady. Something simmers in his irises, pupils blown out, soft brown too full of heat, too heavy.
“Yeah,” Yuji sighs, “Y—Yeah.” A smile’s beginning to spread. Too wide. Utterly blinding. “I can do that for you, baby.” His fingers grip around Megumi’s throat until his eyes are straining. His vision blurs.
“I can do that for you, Megumi— do anything for you.”
Prove it, Megumi wants to goad. To tease. He can’t choke it out in time. Yuji’s lips drop to his until they’re kissing again. More so Yuji kissing him and Megumi resolving— his body tuning out— but letting this happen. Drinking it in. Begging for this to happen.
Their sounds seep and melt into his ears. The feel of the lube and the rhythmic almost melodical hum of their bodies pressing together— A squelching sound that envelops Megumi’s soul, making him feel dirty and erotic, making his legs numb and his bones weak.
Yuji’s so good to him. He listens. He doesn’t stop. Megumi can barely breathe— he thinks he forgets how to string coherent sentences together, there’s hardly any point in even trying to at all.
Yuji’s muscles tense. Steady, firm, and strong. He babbles nonsense into Megumi’s hair, a stream of slurred praises— not being able to form coherent sentences either, as he gets even faster, as he gets even rougher with him.
Megumi’s mind is quiet. He's so warm. Content and still against the bed. Against Yuji. Gripping onto his back and anchoring himself.
He twitches along his stomach, feeling the slightest amount of friction from their bodies pressing, being stuck so close together. And it’s not enough. Megumi’s leaking— His mind’s tracking back to times before, where Yuji’s made him feel so good without stroking around him.
Where he felt like he was somehow cumming. Where he felt like he was having an orgasm more intense than what’s theoretically supposed to be possible.
He’s swollen and throbbing and Yuji’s hold on him has gotten too tight. Bruising. Megumi’s clenching around him harshly in return. His teeth are clenched on his bottom lip. His voice sounds weird to himself, breathing out so harshly, sounding so high pitched.
His thigh feels sore from how hard Yuji is holding him. His back feels strained from how Yuji has pinned him— bended him down along the bed. His mind feels sloshy, goopy, like Yuji can stretch him out any which way and have his fun with him.
Megumi wants him to. He wants him more than anything. His body’s going numb, his senses overloading and overflowing and sputtering all around— shutting down completely.
His soul feeling reserved only for this. To making Yuji feel good. To sharing in this moment. To letting Yuji make him feel good. To losing himself so much that he cries, or falls asleep, or both.
And it feels like he’s getting there. It feels like Yuji’s about to send him into another plane of existence. Push him off that edge he wonders about so much.
His fingers squeeze even harder around his throat and then they soften, trailing up along his jaw and then into his hair. Megumi gasps, not realizing the take— not contemplating the previous lack of air flow.
Yuji tugs him closer, kissing him messily, sloppily, a chorus of their moans mixing perfectly together. And Megumi feels still, unmoving, as he begs silently for Yuji to use him use him use him. To keep going. To be rough. To make them both feel good. To break him, whatever that really means.
Yuji’s hand trails out of his hair and down along his body until he meets his hipbone, pressing the pads of his fingers along his skin, making Megumi get lost in the feeling, until his hand is reaching down lower and wrapping around his length.
“Ah— Y—Yuji,” Megumi sputters, feeling his body straining. Feeling his world splitting.
He leaks into Yuji’s hand. His fingers circle and then grip firmly at the tip, his pre cum oozing out past his nails obscenely.
“Sen—Sensitive—”
Megumi feels himself clenching without meaning to, being too overwhelmed. Yuji doesn’t let up in his thrusts, holding his thigh down as he continues his pace.
Even as Megumi nearly convulses against him, arching up and squirming— his body attempting to run away— Yuji doesn’t let him. He strokes around him, giving him too much friction all of a sudden. Causing his nerve endings to fracture and splay and spasm.
“Y—Yuji,” he stutters his name terribly, pushing against him involuntarily. Yuji just holds him down, keeps him there. “Too much— I—”
It’s too fast. It’s too good.
Like a wave hitting you over and over again. Not giving you a second to stand and retreat. Just crashing into you and lifting you up. Drifting you off. Drowning you.
Megumi’s body doesn’t know what to do with the feeling. It’s overwhelming, this type of pleasure. Yuji being so so close. His erection pushing far too deep, getting too far, too stiff, being far too warm. Still going after so long— What’s wrong with him? And then even after cumming he’ll still be hard. He’ll still look into Megumi, the same undying need that he always has. The same love.
Megumi wants to roll his eyes, call him stupid. His eyes do roll, but not in the way that he intended. He feels cursed— Blessed.
Yuji’s touch is molten. Blazing and sweltering. The ghost of a burn lingers on his throat. Yuji’s sunlight, clinging far too brightly, grips at his skin, seeping inside of him. Pushing against him. Wrapping around his length and causing more pre cum to squeeze out.
Megumi can’t handle it— He wants to. The beginning of the word plays on the end of his tongue though, still. Stop. Can’t.
He wants to. He wants Yuji to. To keep going. He speaks without meaning to. Involuntary. Body taking over.
“Yuji, I—I can’t— S—Stop,” he babbles.
“Megumi,” Yuji sighs out— and Megumi’s breathing catches. He falters.
Yuji sounds like he’s in a daze. Such a sweet and syrupy tone lacing his mouth. Such a daydream cloudy innocence. All kind and soft and pretty while doing such a lewd thing.
“You feel so good, Megumi, please.”
“Yuji,” Megumi gasps. His eyes open slightly and get stuck staring at his fingers. Watching them press along his veins and coaxing more of his fluids out.
He’s trembling. His body is confused almost, not knowing if he should pull away or pull closer. A perverted sort of paralysis.
“Yuji, I can’t,” he whines, eyes trailing up to meet his gaze. His breathing catches like before, seeing the heat in Yuji’s pupils. Seeing the focus reserved only for him.
“Yes— yes you can, baby. You can,” Yuji soothes him, bringing their foreheads flush together, staring into him with too much love, with too much want.
“You can, Megumi— Does it hurt?” His eyes twinge strangely. Unsure. His movements slow. “Am I hurting you?”
Megumi’s lips tremble. He blushes. Not being able to get a word out. He shakes his head. He can’t speak fluidly.
“Then you can take it for me,” Yuji smiles, soft and sweet. His gaze settles back into something resolved. Adoring. He picks up his pace, leans further into the rhythm he’s set.
“You can take it for me, Megumi. You’d take it for me even if it hurt, right?”
Megumi needs to breathe through his nose— his lips falling open and closed rapidly, like he’s trying to speak but he doesn’t know what he wants to say.
Nothing’s filtering through his brain. Nothing coherent. It’s only primal now. Only Yuji. Needing Yuji. Just Yuji. Something about Yuji. Yuji. Yuji.
“You’d let me hurt you, yeah?” Yuji asks, but it’s not really a question.
Their foreheads slide together, a little sweaty. Megumi’s hardly aware of anything but them— it smells like sex, like their love making. Like their skin and sweat and—
“My perfect masochist. You’d do anything for me, yeah?” Yuji’s eyes close contently as he digs his hands into Megumi’s thigh, pushing his leg further away from himself.
“You’d let me hurt you— You're letting me hurt you,” Yuji moans.
Megumi can't speak so he nods. He nods and nods desperately. He feels like his sounds aren’t coming out of his body but somewhere else entirely, as he whines out, nearly a yelp— feeling his hipbone jut, feeling it pop, creak a little— Crying out again. Logging the pain away as fine, as safe, as good.
“Shhh, you’re so good, baby. So flexible for me,” Yuji kisses his forehead, breathes into his hair.
His hand rubs over his thigh, soothing, apologizing. Megumi sputters on air, feeling stretched out too far.
“So perfect— My blessing. The best boy in the fucking world— you can take it.” Yuji’s voice is taut and strained. Hoarse from however long it’s been.
Megumi tries to moan his name. A jumble comes out instead. He concedes again. His breaths push in and out— too fast. His eyelids barely hang open as they grow watery. He can’t hold it back like before. Not even a full second passes and his tears are streaming over and coating his cheeks.
“Aw, Megumi,” he thinks he hears Yuji say, feeling floaty and away from his body, away from the earth entirely. “So pretty when you're crying, darling.”
Megumi doesn’t know if that’s what does it. If it’s the praise or the way Yuji says it— speaks it so reverently into his scalp— But he’s throbbing. His skin is pulsating. Clinging. Inching closer towards Yuji. Needing him to keep touching him and never stop. Despite his body not knowing what to do with it. Despite his body stupidly protesting. His heart knows better. He wants Yuji always— always this close.
“B—Baby—” Megumi tries to announce it, although he doesn’t have to. He knows that Yuji can feel it, can feel him cumming, falling apart into his hand.
“I’ve got you,” Yuji sighs like he’s cumming too, like however good he’s making Megumi feel, he's feeling ten times better. Just doing it for him. To him.
“I’ve got you, baby. You’re good. You’re so good for me.”
But Yuji’s not cumming yet. Not yet. Megumi knows he isn’t when he’s still sputtering praises into his hair. And he knows he’s about to when his face falls from his forehead and lands close by his collarbone.
“Need you,” Megumi manages. A faint rasp. A desperate ask that he never has to ask for at all.
Need you to bite me, please. Need you to cum inside. You better. I’ll kill you if you don’t.
Megumi’s thoughts are always more violent than his actions. Than his words. Although they still feel soft. They're soft if they're towards Yuji.
Yuji and him aren’t the same. Yuji is everything and Megumi is something. Something speckly, and something that can catch his sunlight like a prism and reflect it. Something that can coincide with him, and stay and stay and stay. And something that’s needed. Something that wants to be wanted, and something that is, and something that’s okay, and good, and deserving, and—
There’s not a word for this.
Trying to explain it becomes redundant.
Megumi’s so happy he could die. Not die even. He’s happier than that. He’s so happy he could live forever. With Yuji. Stay his shadow and reflect across from him, be congruent with him, splay himself over him perfectly forever.
Yuji’s teeth sear into him and Megumi’s eyes shoot open, rolling back, his vision unfocused and sporadic. His nails dig into Yuji’s back as he buries himself inside of him. Branding him. Bruising him so distinctly that Megumi will never forget the feeling. That he can never replicate it.
He sees the muscles of Yuji’s back tensing and he whines— shuddering— more tears falling down.
Yuji’s hold on his thigh softens as he groans into him, humming into his shoulder, sucking slightly.
Megumi’s mind trails away to what Yuji was trying to tell him before. About that manga he read. About biting so deep you leave a scar that lasts. That stays.
He wonders if this is what Yuji’s doing— trying to do. At least subconsciously.
Is that what he’s doing? Is that the bone-chilling want? The need that rings clear on an atomic level?
“…I’m yours, you know,” Megumi breathes, feeling the need to tell him. Wanting to gratify and clarify and needing to say it, even if words can be cheap.
“I’m yours, Yuji.”
These words aren’t cheap, but actions have always been a louder thing for them. Something more rounded, but not subtle.
This is intimate. This is something further than searching and caring and loving. This is something small. Something small but so so important. Maybe because of that fact. Maybe that's what makes it count.
“Yours.”
“Mine,” Yuji smiles into him, his teeth pressing, lingering. “All mine, Megumi.”
“All yours.” Megumi's eyes are trailing against the ceiling, vision unfocused. Hazy. “Let’s get married,” Megumi almost laughs, not knowing actually if it’s a sob or a laugh at first. He feels another tear leaving him and sputters around himself, stupidly, clinging to Yuji tighter.
“We’ll be like ghouls.”
“Y—Yeah?” Yuji’s body twitches at that. Megumi feels it everywhere. His length, tired and throbbing inside of him. His arm shifting and pressing in closer to him— boxing around him again. His chest heaving and sinking lower and lower against his own.
So close. Just perfect. All encompassing Yuji. His Yuji.
“You want to—” Yuji’s out of breath, his voice strained and slow, “—you, you want to—” Megumi understands what he’s trying to say, but he lets him find himself, he lets Yuji push the rest of the words out.
“Seriously? With, with me?” The question comes out a little quiet. Vulnerable. Searching.
“Of course,” Megumi laughs, not knowing if he’s crying again or not. “Of course. Yes. Yes, angel.”
“Megumi,” Yuji moans as his head sinks lower again.
His teeth push into him, right over the mark he's already deepened.
Sunlight seeping past a shadow, swallowing Megumi whole and leaving nothing left of him.
“I—I— Baby, it hurts,” Megumi chokes out, but he’s smiling, eyes rolling back into his scalp. “F—Fuck.” He grips Yuji’s forearm, sobbing quietly.
“Sorry,” Yuji slurs, breathless, as he pulls back. The rest of his body almost moves with him, and Megumi pats him in protest. The very limited amount of strength he has left doing all that it can to tell him no. To tell him stay.
“Sorry, baby,” Yuji smiles, soft and faint, looking across his shoulder. He plants his lips onto the mark, licking first, before kissing.
Megumi gasps out shortly, trying to settle as his body flinches, used to the sting now— trying to remember the caress.
Yuji shushes him sweetly as he squirms and simmers under him. His hand reaches up and his knuckles brush against his cheek, rubbing softly at his tears, where they’ve landed across his skin.
“Aw, look at you,” Yuji rasps, so controlled it makes Megumi shiver all over again, his skin getting hotter. His world teetering off the edge— wherever it’s resided now. Yuji’s made him so soft, the edge doesn’t even exist.
Yuji shifts and drags his arms around his head, bringing his other hand to Megumi’s face, cupping him from both sides. Holding him in his palms. Easy. So so easy. Megumi sniffles, he hiccups.
“Hey,” Yuji draws out, soothing, a caress.
His lips meet Megumi’s, all too perfect and all too eager, but slowed. Slowed yet heated still. Always. Even in this. Even in the aftermath.
“Hey, did I break you?” Yuji smiles. Stupid. His kisses scatter and litter and Megumi’s eyes are going lax. Trailing back and rolling forward and not knowing where to go.
“Are you falling asleep?” Yuji’s voice is a low tide, wafting up to the shore of Megumi’s mind.
His head settles into the pillows more. He feels Yuji’s cum pushing against his walls, seeping past his length that’s still inside of him.
“Uh— Mhm— maybe.”
Yuji laughs, soft and sweet. His tongue is too much against Megumi’s skin. He’s lapped at his tears. He’s drunken up his small murmurs and his short cries, and he’s still going. Holding him closely, keeping him tender and still.
“Sensitive,” Megumi’s voice is shot. Battered. Yuji might be eating him. Killing him. Consuming him completely. A gentle apocalypse.
“You make such pretty noises, baby.” Yuji’s sunshine and a clear sky. Smiling down at him, rubbing circles into his shoulder and pressing with his nails slightly— almost a test maybe, or rather not.
Megumi shivers, obvious and on cue. And Yuji aws, at this. An asshole. Sadistic. Megumi loves him.
Yuji's head cranes down to kiss him there again. He whispers sorry, maybe, somewhere faraway and quiet where that’s actually true.
“Don’t say sorry if you don’t mean it,” Megumi whispers, long and drawn out. Breathy. The best sentence he’s strung in minutes.
Yuji’s eyes change. His eyebrow twitches. His fingers roll into Megumi’s hair. He tugs harshly and Megumi feels too tired to gasp but his mouth hangs open.
Yuji’s gaze is intent on his. Loving and steady. Seeking. Predatory.
Megumi wants to bleed out. Wants Yuji to stumble upon his remains. Sink his teeth into his neck— eat what's left of him. A hyena, devouring everything including the bones. His skull and his morals.
“I’d let you do anything to me,” Megumi says. Doesn’t have to say it. Wants to.
Yuji pulls him closer, his hand tight and sharp in his scalp. He brings their lips an inch apart, smiling.
Happiness tastes like Yuji. His skin. His mouth.
“You want me to bite you again?” Yuji asks. Too dark to be an actual question. Too caring— too Yuji to be anything else.
“Mhm, mhm.”
Yuji bites him, sinks his teeth into his lip.
You’re gonna make me bleed again, Megumi thinks, smiling. More prayer than thought.
Yuji’s going to split his lip open and make him bleed again. Like the first time. Like their first time.
“Yuji,” Megumi sighs.
“I need to marry you,” Yuji tells him— pulling his lips back— his teeth. “I need you to be my husband, Megumi.” A deep and low sound escapes his throat. Something desperate that Megumi doesn’t have a name for.
Something between them and them alone. Megumi can't even imagine it— not having this. It doesn't make sense at this point.
It must suck to be everyone else.
“Is this—” Megumi tries to speak. His voice is wobbly, completely shot from all his moaning— his frayed screaming. Yuji’s hand softens in his hair. Megumi takes in a shaky breath, sighing.
“Is this, your p—proposal?”
“N—No,” Yuji shakes his head. He pulses against Megumi’s walls. Megumi shudders, not knowing what to do with the feeling, with all these feelings.
Yuji brings his lips close to his, breathing heavily, barely kissing, “I need to get you a ring first— I need to do it properly.”
He draws his face back and cups Megumi’s jaw. His thumb lingers between his parted lips, pushing into his teeth slightly.
Megumi wants to bite him, wants to suck all his fingers into his mouth, one by one. Lick over his nails.
“I don’t,” Megumi pauses, takes a breath, “care about that.” His body’s settling. He feels a chill somewhere. Sleep is threatening to steal him away soon.
“I don’t need anything other than you.”
Yuji whines, a cute and muted sound in his throat. His hand slides up to cup Megumi’s cheek and then he’s kissing him again, his teeth meeting his lips ever so slightly, but not biting. Relenting, Megumi supposes.
Yuji’s stupid and nice. He’s mean and knowing. Megumi can’t decipher anything right now. Yuji makes everything impossible. He warps reality for him. Just for him.
Yuji's in love with him. He shatters Megumi's world completely.
“You still need one— Wanna give you one.”
“Yuji,” Megumi whimpers. He’s in love with him. “Baby.” He’s always going to be in love with him.
“Want you to bite me,” Yuji slurs, “Want us to have matching scars. I want it.”
Yuji’s kisses sizzle against him. Phantom presses. Lingering marks of hot hot, sweet sweet, I’m sorry, I’m sorry for making you cry. I’m sorry, that’s a lie, I’m not really sorry at all.
Megumi lays there, skin regulating. He clenches around Yuji. Concludes that the fucking to sleep thing isn’t a joke and he should take it very seriously— Hopes his body gets the memo and relaxes all the way. Will surrender under Yuji’s weight.
“People get bite mark tattoos,” Megumi offers, barely coherent anymore.
“Yeah?” Yuji breathes against his forehead. Grants him a kiss there. “Would you wanna do that, baby?” He brings his face lower, over to his ear. Gifts him another kiss.
“Would you, would you want to, to do that, with me?” Yuji stutters against himself, his kisses not faltering but slowing in their pace. Megumi knows he’s tired too. Sleeps coaxing away at them both.
“Of course, angel,” Megumi smiles into his lips. Their bodies rock together, being too in sync, both of them taking a breath in and then gasping it back out.
“Of course. Of course I will. Let’s do it.”
“Yeah?” Yuji kisses him, sounding less coherent as well, stealing his air.
“Yeah,” Megumi nods once— gives up on moving again after that.
“Fuck, Megumi… You have no idea what you do to me,” Yuji whines, muffled against his lips.
“I do,” Megumi mewls. He shudders. “Fuck— I, I do.”
He does. Megumi knows. He deserves this.
“I— You’re so warm, Megumi,” Yuji smiles. “Feels too good. You’re still so tight, I—I can’t.”
“You gonna pull out?” Megumi asks, hazy and not with enough bite to convey the obvious, to convey the I’ll kill you if you do tone he’s aiming for.
Yuji laughs, pressing their foreheads together. He could understand Megumi in any language. Telepathy. Body. Soul. Something very foreign from Japanese. Something extraterrestrial and alien. Something incomprehensible for anyone else.
“No, baby, I won’t. Don’t kill me.”
Megumi hums, a mix between satisfied and disgruntled.
He bares his teeth but doesn’t catch any skin. Yuji understands him too well, always has. He cranes his head back, leaning further down.
Like they’re animals and Megumi could eat him if he wanted to. Like Yuji’s offering himself. Splaying his neck out to be flayed.
Megumi bites down. It feels like more of a chomp. He pushes his tongue steady, laying it flat along his throat. He sucks and Yuji sighs out, throbbing inside of him again and Megumi hopes— no— dares him to get hard again. He will make him pull out then.
“My Megumi. My ghoul.”
Megumi’s brain sizzles at that. He blushes. He bites him harsher.
“Ah—” Yuji’s breath catches and then he’s laughing, the sound swiftly and deliciously turning into a groan. He easily sinks his fingers into Megumi’s shoulder, square on the bite mark— Retaliating— Fuck.
Sadistic angel.
“F—F— Yuji,” he gasps, no longer biting. “S—Stop.”
Yuji pulls away immediately. He stops. Megumi whines at the lack of impact though. At the loss.
Something shines in Yuji’s eyes as he peers up at him. He places his fingers back along his shoulder, careful. Testing.
“Stop doesn’t really mean stop for you, does it?” he asks, caring. He loves him. Yuji gives him what he needs.
Megumi purses his lips, feeling fidgety and trapped between too awake but not asleep, but too exhausted but not wide awake. He blushes, his eyes trailing away from Yuji slowly.
They talk about these things. Megumi pushes down any embarrassment.
“Yeah, I— I guess.”
“Hmmmm,” Yuji hums, a stupid smile coming onto his face.
He reaches for Megumi’s hand and brings it up to his lips. He kisses his knuckles and nips lightly at the bone, not really biting at all, holding him in between his teeth though like he will. Or like he’s considering it. Like he’s playing, fidgeting with his hand.
“We should have code words or something.”
“Safe words?” Megumi rolls his eyes, correcting him.
“I’m messing with you,” Yuji smiles up at him, biting but not biting around his knuckle. “Just like teasing you.”
Megumi opens his mouth to say something— but whatever it was escapes him scarily fast. He chooses to ignore Yuji’s words. Feeling flustered again.
“I’m gonna pass out, baby,” Megumi sighs.
Yuji’s smile softens. His eyes hang half lidded but fully focused on him. Adoring.
“Okay. You sure you can sleep like this?”
“You sure you can?” Megumi teases, eyes closing. “I’m so distracting, right?” His breath hitches, laughing at himself shortly.
Yuji shakes his head at him and pulls closer, settling his head into the crook where his neck meets his collarbone. Shifting the rest of his body too, so that they slide together, Yuji hanging over him like an angle on a graph. Megumi slotting to the side, feeling too sluggish to wrap his arm up and hold him but then managing it somehow.
They’re not perfectly congruent like this, but it’s much easier to lay and relax into. Megumi can feel his pulse thrumming against him. Speaks without meaning to. He might as well already be asleep.
“Your heartbeat’s the prettiest thing,” he whispers.
“You should feel yours,” Yuji breathes, nuzzling him.
Megumi hums, a soft sort of acknowledgement. His cheeks are sore from how much he’s been smiling lately.
“Go to sleep, angel.”
“Mhm,” Yuji nods, his hair tickling along Megumi’s skin faintly. “I’ll clean you up in the morning, okay?”
“Okay,” Megumi says, maybe. Drifting into sleep.
“I love you, Megumi.”
“I love you, Yuji.” Megumi shivers closer to him. Yuji pulls on his back, helps his shaking soften. “G’night.”
“Night, baby,” Yuji slurs. Another love you slips out. Megumi tosses one back at him. Yuji’s intent on getting the last word in though, he sends it flying right back into Megumi’s ears.
They go back and forth for too long. Both annoyingly stubborn. It’s only annoying because Megumi should win, but he doesn’t. Either caving for Yuji, convincing himself that he should let him have this and thus in doing so proves that he loves him more, and actually makes him the winner. In a “by default” way. In a “de facto” way.
Either that or he gets too tired. Forgets. Slips into a dream that’s hazy and prettily faraway when he wakes up.
All he can remember, is the promise of matching tattoos, and a wedding band etched deep into his skin. The engraving of it— the engraving of anything that he does, any sense of devotion, being Yuji Itadori.
Megumi Itadori…
Does that have a nice ring to it?