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The best thing about making content covering ARGs, Wifies found, was that no matter how the video turned out, it always managed to please at least one audience.
Not every ARG he came across on the internet was a masterpiece, of course—it was actually very rare—but as it turned out, the crappier the lore of an internet horror series was, the scarier it turned out to be, thus becoming entertaining for those looking for a quick adrenaline rush and five jumpscares back to back.
And this was true vice-versa; if a strange Youtube channel he covered, placed on a scale between terrifying and intricate, happened to lean more towards the latter—well, this gained traction from his nerdier viewers, those who insisted the blue color of the drapes demonstrated how the protagonist was suffering from sorrow, instead of just the author deciding they were blue.
And Wifies—he found joy in both of these aspects, regardless of their strengths—so he was more than happy to cover any type of ARG, given it was so easy to please his audience.
"Wifies," a whine came from behind him. He smiled. It also seemed easy to please certain people.
Wifies clicked away on his computer. "Patience is a virtue," he hummed, adding the final touches to his video. Another ARG covered, the video nearly an hour long—they were going to love this. There was a conscious effort not to turn around, keeping his eyes glued to the screen.
Another whimper, nearly inaudible under the constant buzzing sound in the air. "I can't, W-Wifies."
Wifies sighed. "You can. Just give me a second, bro."
He clicked Export and clocked the time: about 40 minutes until the entire thing was rendered. He guessed that was enough time to handle his business; he stood up from his desk and, with as much nonchalance as he could muster, approached the bed.
Parrot was, in kinder terms, a mess. If Wifies had his glasses off, he might've mistaken him for a puddle seeping into his sheets. Parrot was completely naked, curled up in a fetal position, shaking and trembling like he was under some spell or in danger (maybe he was). His eyes were clenched shut as if it alleviated the oncoming, nonstop violations his body was suffering, and if Wifies looked closely he could see the remnants of tears on his eyelashes and cheeks; his face was so flushed that, if it were any other situation, Wifies might've been worried he had come down with a fever; he was biting his bottom lip so hard Wifies was surprised it hadn't burst—it did puncture a bit, a bead of blood seeping out from the pressure, and Wifies felt something warm and disturbing churn in his stomach, more hunger than lust, or maybe it was a strange mix of the two.
Parrot's entire body was shuddering violently, as if he were freezing and needed to wrap himself in his arms as a substitute for warmth. He couldn't, though—the ropes Wifies had bound around his arms were tight, just the way Parrot liked it most, so all he could do was wiggle himself deeper into Wifies' bed sheets. When he wiggled, the vibrating dildo inside him only shifted deeper, causing him to jolt and shake harder, a feedback loop that spelled immense pleasure, intense pain, and Parrot's sudden brain death.
Wifies sat on the edge of the bed, eyes trailing up and down his body. Parrot looked beautiful like this. Wifies wished, at that moment, instead of some random Minecraft youtuber, he were one of those prodigy students who practiced under Michelangelo, he wished he had the materials and the skill set to take this image of Parrot and carve it into stone, forge it into a permanent form he could come back to at any time, maybe when he reincarnated in his next life, just sit there for hours and wonder, How was it possible for something tangible and human to be so physically perfect according to all known laws of the universe? How could this be more than a fantasy?
Wifies was very glad it wasn't a fantasy. He was tired of those; the faintest touch from Parrot in a dream that disappeared when he woke up—now he had the real thing, there was nothing else in the world he could trade for it.
Parrot opened his eyes, hazily brown, wet, and frantic, sensing Wifies close to him, and let out another cry. "Please," he gasped.
"Please, what?" It had been maybe an hour or so ago when Wifies had turned the vibrator to its max level and left him here while he busied himself with video editing; words couldn't express how impressed, how proud he was of Parrot for not passing out long ago.
"I—I'm—"
"Use your words. It's okay."
Parrot glared at him. "Touch me, you fucker!"
Wifies tilted his head and tapped his chin, as if he were actually considering it. "What difference would it make?" He leaned forward to flick Parrot's cock, red and erect and angry and weeping, causing his entire body to jolt and curl inward some more. "You can't cum, anyway."
He gauged the plug that he inserted into Parrot before this whole fiasco—he was worried Parrot would be too scared, considering out of all of Wifies' friends, IRL and online, Parrot was the most "virgin"-like of all, but surprisingly, Parrot was very brave about it. He only cried for five minutes when Wifies first put it in.
"Then take it out," Parrot begged, voice trembling. "I can't, I can't do this anymore. Please."
Wifies considered his shaking figure. If Parrot really couldn't do it, he would've used the safe-word, or maybe headbutted Wifies in the gut so hard he puked (please, God, hurt me), but he didn't do either of those, so all Wifies did was lean forward and ruffle his hair, leaving a chaste kiss on his forehead. He moved down to his eyes, where new tears were beginning to spring, and kissed those away too, licking his lips to savor the salty flavor. He moved to his cheeks, nuzzling them, before finally capturing his mouth. This seemed to calm Parrot down a bit—his tremors settled momentarily as he licked into Wifies' mouth, not even a proper kiss, just trying to taste him and be as close as possible. Maybe he was trying to eat Wifies—which he was totally okay with. He'd cut up his body and make five-star meals with his own flesh; all Parrot had to do was ask.
Wifies was aware that these thoughts weren't exactly normal for an online friend he had met on a Minecraft server, and only recently met in person. Wifies was also aware he was not a normal person in general—hell, ask his ex-girlfriend—so those factors canceled each other out.
As Wifies took pleasure in sucking every ounce of blood he could get from Parrot's bottom lip, it seemed like making out was too much work, and Parrot had gone from fervidly devouring Wifies' mouth to merely panting into it, his previous shudders returning. But this time, it seemed to get worse, extreme; every single limb was jolting violently, and his whines and moans turned into rapid, high-pitched gasps and choking noises. Suddenly, he curled in even farther than Wifies thought was possible, and a loud wail escaped him.
Wifies leaned back and simply stared as Parrot suffered through his third dry orgasm of the day. He was left panting on his back, out of breath, and his hips began to cant upward. Wifies didn't know if it was conscious movement or not, any effort to get away from the vibrating sensations.
"Good job," Wifies praised, moving his sweaty bangs out of the way of his eyes. Parrot stared up at him, drool freely escaping his mouth. This was how Wifies knew Parrot appreciated his words, giving him his full attention. He stroked his cheekbone. "You're doing so well."
"Hurts," Parrot whimpered, eyes squeezing shut again.
"I know," Wifies sighed, shoving his sweatpants down. "Your suffering is beautiful."
No words were a part of Wifies vocabulary that could accurately describe his relief that Parrot was okay with all of this—that Parrot was just as fucked up as he was. Since that first night in the Airbnb when they made love, Wemmbu, Flame, and Spoke just a floor away, and then they re-enacted the following day with the house all to themselves, a quiet, stabbing doubt had sprouted at the back of Wifies' mind, curling up like a parasite trying to blend in with the other nerves; maybe Wifies was too much for Parrot. Parrot had just recently begun feeling something for him, not like Wifies, who had talked to him for approximately thirty minutes on Lifesteal and then decided he would never devote his heart to anyone else. Wifies was a terrible person with an even more terrible mind; the chances of Parrot accepting this were, logically, close to none.
But then, it was a miracle after a miracle. Yes, Wifies, I'll let you bite me randomly. Yes, Wifies, go ahead and watch me while I sleep. Yes, Wifies, tease me there, dress me like that, glare at anyone who even glances at me on the sidewalk. Do all of this and more.
Parrot was an angel. Either that, or a CIA experiment meant to prove Wifies belonged in the asylum.
Wifies released his dick from his boxers; he had neglected it for so long, there were probably errors in the video he was editing with half of his brain power directed into not touching himself. It wouldn't be fair to Parrot, after all—and when he looked at him, Parrot had shuffled his way onto his stomach in a desperate attempt to balance out the sensations with energy spent in moving his body. An idiotic move, however, because now his dick was being assaulted by the coarse texture of Wifies' bed sheets.
Parrot released another wail into the pillow, muffled, sounding so much in pain that Wifies could have come right there. Parrot's body was betraying him, though, Wifies observed; he would grind forward into the bed and then jolt back, hips raised and ass in the air, as if he couldn't stand the pleasure.
Wifies couldn't think properly. He reached for the vibrating dildo and pushed it as far as it could go into Parrot's ass, and in response Parrot ground against the sheets harder. His mind was blank, and his tongue felt doused in syrup; Parrot was humping his fucking bed.
That wasn't fair, he thought irrationally. "Parrot, my bed can't give you the same pleasure that I can."
Parrot paused in his frantic ministrations to glare at him with one eye. "Fuck you, you f-fucking piece of shit."
Wifies swatted him on the ass, and he jerked violently, dick twitching like it was about to release. Was that another dry orgasm? Wifies would have to test this out later. "I take back what I said about getting you into Harvard. They'll never accept that foul mouth of yours."
"Let me cum," Parrot cried. "It hurts."
Wifies hummed. He looked back at his laptop—ten minutes until the video was fully exported. He would let Parrot have this one, he guessed.
"Fine," he relented, and Parrot quite literally sobbed in relief. "Get up."
A futile order, but Wifies didn't actually expect Parrot to have full control of his body—he simply manhandled him so Parrot was lying under Wifies as he crouched over him, grabbing his legs and pushing them forward.
Parrot, the divine being, had eyes that were teary, confused, and gorgeous. "F-fuck? You'll fuck me?"
Wifies smiled. "Not quite."
He squeezed Parrot's thighs together, positioning both his legs over his left shoulder. Then, he stuck his dick in between the plush flesh, right on top of Parrot's dick.
Parrot stared, and his expression was a mixture of pain, devastation, and a tremendous want for release. He opened his mouth to form words, but all that came out was a fwa sound, and instead, when Wifies reached for the plug in his cock, he wailed like he was about to die.
Wifies paused. "Don't cum, bro."
Parrot stared up at him, incredulous. "I will," he insisted.
"Don't cum or I'll kill you."
Parrot's eyes went wide, and another long, drawn-out moan escaped his lips. "I'd let you."
Wifies dropped his head and closed his eyes, taking a very deep, controlled breath. Wifies was a bad influence—Parrot would quite literally be the death of him. Parrot was not real. Wifies was hallucinating.
Wifies reached for the plug again, and Parrot cried, "At least take out the vibrator."
He ignored him and ever so slowly pulled the thin rod out of Parrot's urethra. The entire way, Parrot shuddered violently. He had his eyes clenched again, mouth wide open to let all sorts of obscene sounds out. Drool escaped both sides of his mouth, his tongue pliant and shaking as he panted, and his lips trembled. His head thrown back like he always had it and throat laid bare, sweat running down it. Wifies fought the urge to lean forward and rip the skin away with his teeth, and take a closer look at his trachea. Instead, he just admired how ethereal Parrot looked in the moment; sheen with his own sweat, precome, and tears. So gorgeous, divine, rip my eyes out of my skull as a consequence for viewing such an astronomical event. Wifies was looking at God. God, fuck, fuck, fuck me hard, let me eat your face off.
"Don't cum," Wifies reminded him, in a daze.
"Hnnnnngggg."
Parrot's head trashed violently, and his hips lifted upward, following the movement of the plug. Finally, Wifies had removed the entire thing.
The vibrator buzzed on, still at full power and likely still abusing Parrot's prostate. "Don't cum."
Parrot's hips shook as much as they could while his legs were constrained by Wifies' arms. "Ahhhh, uunnghhhh," Parrot replied intelligently.
"Don't cum." He adjusted his grip on Parrot's legs with one hand and grabbed his dick with the other, shoving it between Parrot's thighs. It was soft, warm, wet, the same sensation he would get from actually sticking it inside Parrot. "D-don't cum."
Parrot flexed every muscle in his body. "Coming."
It was a violent affair, Wifies observed. With his arms bound behind him, and his legs caught in Wifies' grip, all he could do was shudder and tremble and thrash his head around, up, down, left, right, his stomach clenching and hips jumping up and down. Usually, Parrot was quiet when he came, but now wasn't the case, a string of nonsensical words leaking from his lips as well as decipherable dialogue such as, "I'm coming, I'm coming, Wifies, fuck, shit, Wifies, coming, please,", and then sobs and wails like he was dying. His dick twitched as spurts and spurts of cum came out; it seemed never-ending. It shot up to his chest, his chin, and the bed. It looked so painful. Wifies was desperate to know exactly how he was feeling as he watched on.
Wifies didn't wait for him to settle down. He gripped the meat of Parrot's thighs and immediately began thrusting his dick against Parrot's with all the force he could muster. The wails this punched from Parrot didn't even sound human; he sounded like some animal that had been shot a dozen times, and the perpetrator had come and dug the heel of their shoes into the wound because they were evil. Wifies thought he sounded beautiful. He couldn't think clearly.
"Unnnhgghhh," he could make out from the nonsensical noises Parrot was producing. "Hurrrtttsss,"
"Yeah," Wifies sighed. He dropped his head and shut his eyes in concentration, speeding up his thrusts. He knew Parrot was into overstimulation, but Wifies couldn't take much more of this. His dick was going to fall off sooner or later; he had to cum now.
He opened his eyes again. "Parrot, talk to me," he begged. "Let me hear your voice."
"Wifieeesssss."
Wifies moaned. "Yes."
He was almost there. So close, it was there, just out of reach; he just needed—just a few more thrusts. Just a few more, Parrot, you nasty man, perfect soul, perfect body, let me give you everything. Take it, take it, take it, I will kill you with my love. It will smother you. You will not survive.
"I'm going to die," Parrot mumbled, and that was it.
"Parrot," Wifies gasped, eyes going wide, like he was a man in a desert dying of thirst, taking his last breath, and maybe he was. His hips sped up so fast the strain almost outweighed the pleasure, the pain was unbearable, but he was coming, and, and—
"Good boy," he cried. "Good boy, good boy, Parrot, so good for me, so perfect, take it all." He shuddered as his orgasm blew through him, grinding insistently against Parrot's cock, riding it out, he almost missed how Parrot's body seized as well, and he thought dazedly, Surely he wasn't coming again? So quickly? But through his cloudy vision, he saw a clear liquid spurt from Parrot's tip, and he understood what had happened. Parrot had reached his limit; this was all he could give him.
Wifies didn't stop thrusting until the pain brought tears to his eyes. He slowed, only because his body forced him to, and collapsed beside Parrot. The air was filled with the scent of sex, cum, and the sound of their heaving chests and pants.
Parrot laughed weakly, and Wifies put all of his strength into turning to look at him.
"What," he wheezed. Parrot laughed again.
"Bro," Parrot rasped. "You are such a fucking freak."
Wifies snorted. "So are you. I guess we're a match made in heaven."
Parrot closed his eyes. "A match made in hell."
"That, too."
A pause, and then— "Untie my damn arms." Parrot jolted. "And take out this fucking vibrator!"
"Yes, sir."
They sat there like that for a long while, half an hour or so, before Wifies mustered the strength to push himself off the bed. He pulled his boxers and sweatpants back onto his soiled dick—he'd change later—and wobbled towards his computer. The rendering was done—the video was ready to post.
"Better way to spend my time than Sudoku," Wifies mumbled to himself, and turned just in time to catch the pillow Parrot had thrown at him with his face. "The hell, bro?"
Parrot glared at him playfully. "Be a gentleman and run me a bath. My legs aren't working."
Wifies huffed, but obliged. "Yes, your majesty."
After the hangout at the Airbnb, when Wemmbu, Spoke, and Flame had to leave, Parrot insisted he could stay a bit longer and spend the entirety of his spring break at Wifies' place. To hang, he told his friends and his parents, but also to fuck, but that last little part was for Wifies to know only. The break was, unfortunately, coming to a close very quickly, but for now, they still had time.
And even if they didn't, they still had the present, and Wifies was okay with that.