Work Text:
Horsin’ Around
Ilya Rozanov
Ok
You have all seen video
Do not lie
I know I am hot 😘
You cannot look away
Wyatt Hayes
Nooooo….. of course not 😬
Nick Young
What’s a video?
Nick Chouinard
For religious reasons, I don’t believe in those newfangled moving pictures
They are of The Beast
Garret Holmberg
Perhaps. 🤔
Zachary LaPointe
There’s a chance every person I've played with since timbits has already texted me about it
Luca Haas
I’m so sorry this is happening to you both
Troy Barrett
Yeah. Seen it.
Evan Dykstra
You ok, Cap?
Me
We’re sorry you and Hollander are going through this, Cap
Cassie and I are both here if you need people to talk to
Nick Chouinard
Me and Selena too
Wyatt Hayes
Lisa and I reporting in 💛
Troy Barrett
Harris says he’s cleared his schedule
Ilya Rozanov
Thank you, but not needed
Barrett, I’m noting you only said Harris cleared his schedule 👀
Much to think about
Luca Haas
Coach told us that you’re being benched. Can the League even do that?
Zachary LaPointe
What???!!
Troy Barrett
That sounds like Crowell 🙄
Ilya Rozanov
Yuna is working on something. I do not think it will be long.
Nick Chouinard
I’d like to make some promises that would get me banned from the league about what I’d be willing to do to keep you on the team 🔪
Me
If they try, know we’ve all got your back
Both of you guys
Ilya Rozanov
I appreciate you all but it will not be needed
I will miss next few days to let things die down a little
I promise we can talk about things then
Evan Dykstra
Hate to be that guy, but idk if we should have that conversation at the arena
Me
Cassie and I can host
Rozy, are you guys in Ottawa?
Ilya Rozanov
We are
I do not think Shane would want to come. I have asked him to before
Wyatt Hayes
It could just be the team. No staff, no partners. I think everyone would understand.
Troy Barrett
Yeah, we’d get it if you want to keep it small.
Me
Cassie could go somewhere with Milo for the weekend
Ilya Rozanov
Maybe
~~~
That had been weeks ago.
Before he knew for sure that they’d be back playing without missing more than one game. Before things really went to shit in Montreal for Shane. Before the playoffs disaster and the trip. Before the media started openly speculating that one of them would have to retire early to prevent the appearance of impropriety.
Ilya’s team had always been nothing but supportive.
There had been a few questions at the beginning. Little pokes and prods to try to get any information about the hidden years long relationship but Ilya had politely deflected it all. Shane didn’t want him to talk about it without him there too. It was frustrating, but they’d talked about Shane coming to Ottawa next season and Ilya was willing to endure this a little longer to make sure that happened.
He'd had his own rewards in the last few weeks. The thrill of beating Shane in the playoffs was dulled considerably by the vitriol thrown his fiancés way by the Voyageurs and their fans. But no one could take away the way his heart leapt at the sight of seeing Shane in his jersey in public.
He hadn't told him he was even coming to the New York games. And then there he was, up on the jumbotron, tight jet black jeans, backwards Cens cap, engagement ring, and Ilya's fucking home jersey. An actual one. It was a miracle he didn't skate over the boards.
They stole that first game in New York and Shane texted Ilya a hotel room number like they were still in their twenties. The jersey didn't come off until he finally let Shane shower hours later. And even then, it was back on through breakfast downstairs the next morning. He winked at Young when the kid whistled at them in the omelette bar line.
Shane turned beet red but didn't run away. He sat with the team that morning despite not saying much to them. His hand stayed on Ilya's thigh for most of the meal and Ilya's arm draped across his shoulders, only leaving when he needed to put a point on his sentences. It felt good. Felt right.
Ottawa proceeded to lose the next four games and their postseason was cut short. Oh well. Better luck next year.
Better roster too if Shane's deal could be finalized.
Tonight was a cautious step he thought. A final check that Shane was going to be able to do it. He knew that Farah was already going to send over contracts for signature in the next couple of weeks. If things blew up tonight Shane wouldn't back out. He wanted to be in Ottawa with Ilya. He'd made that clear. But Ilya wanted him to want to be on the Centaurs too.
“Shane, stop fussing and come down. Is 25 minute drive to Bood’s and you hate being late.”
“I’m not fussing!” He could hear the lie from thirty meters away.
“If you don’t come down soon I will be taking the Porsche and we will not be following any traffic laws. I think it will be very fun! Take your time.” He heard something clatter upstairs and Shane appeared a second later.
“I’m ready and I’m driving.”
“But Hollander, you are so boring.”
“Ilya.”
“Shane.” He put on his best pout and pleading look.
Shane remained firm, a hand held out for the keys. Wait, he could work with this. Shane was already completely wound up in anticipation for the barbecue. He would be focused on the road; a total ball of nerves. Perfect excuse for Ilya to try and see if he could get him to, uh, relax a little. A devilish smile broke over his face and he pressed the keys into his boyfriend’s hand.
“That was too easy.” Shane’s brow knitted and his face had a look of apprehensive concern.
“No, you make great argument.”
“I didn’t make any arguments.”
“Hmm?”
“Ilya.”
“We need to leave moy lyubimyy,” he leaned forward to press a kiss to Shane’s lips. He flicks his tongue to trace the bottom of Shane’s lip and moves himself flush with his pretty Canadian. He can feel the heat rise in Shane’s cheeks as he opens his mouth to let the kiss deepen. As Shane starts to let himself go, Ilya pulls back. “Thank you for coming tonight. I will make sure it is worth it even if you drive like Scott Hunter.”
“Fuck off.”
“Like sloth with very creaky bones.”
“You drive like a fucking demon.”
“You are dinosaur with arthritis.”
“Scott’s a nice guy.”
“Tortoise who needs three knees replaced.”
“Oh my God, shut up. We’re leaving.” Ilya gave his butt a pinch on the way out to the garage and Shane batted his hand away. He was pretending to be mad but Ilya could see a smile on his face in the reflection of the window.
Ilya couldn’t wait to piss him off by trying to argue for the virtues of road head.
~~~
Shane was seated with hands still gripping the steering wheel and a thousand yard stare fixated on the car parked in front of them in Bood’s driveway. He didn't know exactly how long it had been that he was frozen in that position but it was long enough for Ilya's hand to be smoothing its way across his back. His eyes were starting to go blurry from how long he'd gone without blinking. And he knew he was holding tension in his jaw strong enough that if he let himself take a full breath it would feel stiff.
“Maybe you should just go in without me?” He finally managed to say. Ilya's hand stopped its repeating course. He leaned in and Shane could see his look of amusement from the corner of his eye.
He didn't need to be psychic to know the word going through Ilya's head. “Ser’yozno?” The Russian word for “seriously” was easy enough to remember that it had stuck after hearing it once or twice.
“Fuck, ok. Gimme a second.” Ilya didn’t rush him. He went back to rubbing his back, steadying him. Shane took in a last deep breath and opened the car door. Ilya joined him and took his hand in his, bringing it up to his mouth to give their interlocked fingers a kiss.
“Remember, we can leave at any time if you need to.” Ilya gave his hand another squeeze as they walked up the short drive. “This team is safe. I would not take you somewhere that is not safe.”
“Ya tebya lyublyu.” Shane knocked on the door.
“Ya tebya lyublyu,” Ilya rushed to say before Cassie answered. He wished Shane would let him kiss him one more time before they went inside. But he wanted to keep things low PDA for now.
“Ilya! I’m glad you boys could make it. Excited for the offseason?”
“Hello Cassie, thank you for having us.” Ilya’s easy smile and warm affect overtook Shane’s nervousness. Ilya scooped Cassie up into a hug and she giggled at the contact. Shane held his hand out and she gave it a light welcoming shake.
“It’s nice to meet you, Shane. Thanks for making the drive.” Shane could feel his heartbeat in his temple but he pushed through and went inside. “Zane’s already outside workin his magic. As a warning, if he says something isn’t that spicy, don’t believe him. Bathrooms are right here near the front door and a second one down the hall over there. Basically everyone is outside but we’ll keep most of the food in here once it’s done so the bugs don’t get to it.”
Ilya had already given him a warning about the spice levels. Apparently there had been an agreement to haze the rookies and traded players with it, but Shane was getting a chance to bypass it by not being signed before his first barbecue. Lucky him.
“Who let the rival WAG in here?” Shane heard someone yell from across the backyard. She had a thick French Canadian accent, whoever it was. He tensed for a second until he heard Ilya laughing next to him.
“Selena! Do not like that I am your competition now for sexiest WAG, no?” Ilya directed them to make a beeline for the scattered group of women. “Bring up average hotness of Voyageurs WAGs up two times now they know I am one of them.”
“In your dreams captain. You wish you had my arms.”
“Yes, but I have always had better ass. Your husband’s eyes do not lie when we are in locker rooms. He knows he only gets this kind of view at work.” Selena gave him a big, jumping hug as she wrapped her arms around his neck. When Ilya set her down she kissed him on both cheeks.
“Hi Shane, I’m Selena married to Nick over there,” she pointed at the Centaurs defenseman surrounded by about six kids. “Four of those are mine too. I can probably remember which ones if you make me.”
“Hi Selena,” he reached out to shake her hand. “Ilya said you do charity work too, right? Women’s shelters?”
“Yup. Just like Ilya when he’s not spending so much time in the penalty box you’d think he’s trying to claim residency there.”
“Was all bullshit calls. Refs are biphobic for penalizing perfectly normal checks.”
“Oh my god, it’s the off season!” a woman with a pixie cut and a nearly empty glass of wine cut in. “I’m not using one of my four nights off a month to listen to this again.”
“Sorry Lisa,” Ilya and Selena said at the same time. They had side eye grins going at each other. Lisa had a straight face until she couldn’t keep up the serious look and broke.
“But honestly Ilya, even I could’ve made that call. And at least two were on Hunter so I don’t know if it’s queer discrimination keeping ya down.”
“I am being ignored and lied to now. Said biphobia, not queerphobia. Hunter is not cool enough to like more than just men.”
“Hey,” Shane pushed at Ilya’s shoulder and gave him a light hip check.
“Malysh, I have called you boring for many years. Cannot be news to you.” Ilya pulled him closer by his waist and gave him a chaste peck on the cheek. Shane felt the heat rise in his cheeks at the simple display of affection. “Besides, boring is hot when it is you.”
The other WAGs made their introductions and exchanged general pleasantries. Ilya took a seat and started in on one of his favorite stories that Shane had heard a million times about how he convinced the Bears that there were different, secret Russian rules to poker for three years until he got drunk enough that he accidentally tried it with another Russian player at the table.
It was a good story. Ilya had the cadence and timing of it down perfectly. He could work a crowd effortlessly and it was endearing to watch him do it. But he’d heard it at every Irina Foundation public outing that he knew he didn’t need to hear it again and let himself wander to Bood’s admittedly impressive grill set up.
He’d made a promise to Ilya that he’d try to talk with some of the guys without him and Ilya had told him that Bood, Hayes, or Harris were his safest bets. All three could carry a conversation with themselves as the only speaker for at least a solid hour if he brought up the topics Ilya had armed him with. Ilya had even let him practice with him and gave him one last quiz on the drive over. He got high marks in his final social interaction test. When Ilya said he’d make him a little report card he could hang on the fridge that said A+ on it there was a larger part of him that wanted it to actually happen than he’d ever admit to his boyfriend.
“Hey, it’s uh, Bood, right?”
“Hey, Hollzy!” A focused, wide, and jolly man wearing nothing but board shorts and an apron that said “Suns Out Buns Out” with a picture of hamburger buns looked up at him. “Sorry I didn’t go greet you with Cassie. Looking for something?”
“Oh uh I actually wanted to talk with you about your set up. Ilya was saying you’ve got like the cement heated for the winter too?”
“You grill?” Even Shane could read the immediate exuberance in Bood’s expression.
“Yeah, in the summer mostly. I’ve got a place that’s not super far from here. But I spend enough time at Ilya’s that I’m probably gonna end up upgrading the backyard. You like your contactor?”
“Oh man, buckle up because this was a JOURNEY.”
He was gonna get such a good grade in social interactions.
~~~
Hot 🔥 Fillies 🐎 Only
Lisa Hayes
Ok soooooo……
Can we talk about it? 👀
Genevieve Foucault (Young)
About how the ads don’t even come close? 🥵
Cassie Boodram
Insane that Ilya fucking Rozanov isn’t the hot one in his own relationship 😂
Me
Hot damn what a MAN 🥵
Caitlin Dykstra
Selena lmaooooo
Lisa Hayes
Wyatt is the love of my life. Don’t get me wrong.
But good God he’s lucky that man is Gay with a capital G
Harris Drover (Barrett)
So we all agree, I have the best chance 😌
Olivia Tremblay (LaPointe)
Right right because he’d of course have no choice but to marry you
Me
I’ll fight you for him 😤
I think Nick would back me up too
*4 people 😂 this message*
MJ Schneider (Dillon)
Tanner says I have hands and I'm willing to test that 💪
Lisa Hayes
I’ll be on standby with gauze
You guys go crazy 🤣
Cassie Boodram
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Jane Deaux (Rozanov)
Oh.
Jane Deaux (Rozanov) has left the group chat
Genevieve Foucault (Young)
OHHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD
Lisa Hayes
THE FIRST TIME HE’S TEXTED SINCE BEING ADDED
IT’S BEEN MONTHS
Harris Drover (Barrett)
THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE
Jane Deaux (Rozanov) has been added to the group chat by you
Jane Deaux (Rozanov) has left the group chat
Jane Deaux (Rozanov) has been added to the group chat by you
Me
Shane Hollander you get your ass back in here
Jane Deaux (Rozanov)
No thank you.
Jane Deaux (Rozanov) has left the group chat
Caitlin Dykstra
Do you think he’ll show Ilya? 🙃
Cassie Boodram
He better fucking not
Zane cannot handle being a single parent
MJ Schneider (Dillon)
I’m too cool to die this young 😭
Lisa Hayes
@Harris is Troy the jealous type?
Harris Drover (Barrett)
lol Troy agrees 🤣
He almost asked Ilya for Shane’s number when he got traded here
Caitlin Dykstra
Excuse me????
Me
We absolutely will be coming back to that
Jane Deaux (Rozanov) has been added to the group chat by you
Jane Deaux (Rozanov)
I’m not getting out of this, am I?
Cassie Boodram
Jane. Deaux. Jane. Doe.
Caitlin Dykstra
Oh my God, am I turning into Evan? 🥲
Harris Drover (Barrett)
Which one of you came up with that? It has to be Rozanov, right?
Jane Deaux (Rozanov)
I don’t think Ilya even realizes it’s a pun.
Me
Ok maybe you two are starting to make more sense together 🙄
*5 people emphasized this message*
~~~
Ilya couldn’t help the furtive looks over his shoulder every few minutes. He knew he wasn’t being nearly as sneaky as he hoped when Cassie started rolling her eyes with a kind of sisterly care.
“He’s a big boy, don’t worry,” she whispered at him as she poked his side. He flicked at her hip in response and stuck his tongue out.
“I know, but he has been nervous.” They’d talked exclusively about this barbecue for the last two days. Even on the drive over, he could almost feel Shane’s mind racing about all the ways things could go wrong. He was so deep in his head he’d barely noticed Ilya’s hand creeping up his thigh until it was reaching under his waistband. It was a miracle they didn’t crash. Could have been a fun scene for the recovery crew.
“I promise Zane has been threatened to be on his best behavior.”
“I know,” he said. He couldn’t stop himself from checking again. What if Shane needed him?
“So I guess it wasn’t an exaggeration that you two distract each other, hmm?” Caitlin Dykstra was smiling at him, a tease dripping off every vowel.
“Shut up.”
“No, it’s cute.” She took another sip from her glass before continuing on. Ilya caught it out of the corner of his eye while he now shamelessly stared at Shane across the yard, trying to read his lips and hope he didn’t find a plea in it. “Can we ask how long? The boys have all been useless in getting us any details.”
“No.”
“Boo.”
“Shane doesn’t want to talk about it yet. Is worried.”
“And big scary Ilya Rozanov always listens to his boyfriend?” He knew it was a challenge that Selena probably thought would trip him up, but it wouldn’t. He also knew it was entirely unserious.
“Of course. He is--I know there is phrase. For good one in relationship?”
“Your better half?” Yes. Thank you Lisa.
“My better half. And that means I have to listen. Is why the men all must listen to you, yes? If they know what’s good for them at least.” He could see their expressions all soften. Time to go for the cuteness kill. He’d blow their dumb boyfriends and husbands out of the water with romance. “I don’t need to be convinced. Already know Shane is best for me.”
“You can’t say these things when I’m pregnant. You’ll make me cry,” said Selena, already on the verge of tears. Good God, they were about to be worse than the Pikes. He must have missed that pregnancy announcement in the past few weeks of insanity. He’d have to make it up to Nick later. Maybe send something to the house later in the week?
It was nice to talk with the WAGs. To pretend that this was the reaction that the hockey world had to the earth shattering news. He didn’t really care about what anyone he didn’t already know in real life said, but he knew it weighed on Shane. The weight of expectations was always being lifted by him even if Shane was the one who yoked himself with it.
When he left to go grab himself another drink, he felt himself drift back to Shane. He took a seat next to him. Close, but not too close. Still in line with Shane’s PDA rules he thought. So when Shane rested his hand on Ilya’s thigh he couldn’t hide the delight that overcame him immediately.
It was working! He was having a good time and loosening up around the team. Ilya had assumed it would go well. The Centaurs had been very accepting of Troy and Harris. There was no reason to think it would be different for him and Shane. But actually getting to experience it was thrilling and calming at the same time. It was like he was immediately thrown into an afterglow.
“Ilya, I was just learning some very interesting things.”
Oh no.
“About what?”
“Parc Omega.”
Oh no.
“Oh?”
“Exactly how many carrots did you buy those deer?”
“They were hungry.”
“And you asked how many people about buying an elk?”
“Does not sound like me but they are very fuzzy. Would make excellent therapy animal to bring to children’s hospital. This is a brilliant idea, moy lyubimyy.”
“Apparently you asked if there was a record for most animals fed and if you could get a medal for it?”
“I do not know what you are talking about.”
“No?” He shook his head remembering exactly how many carrots he had bought the deer. “And if there was a video of you surrounded by like a dozen hungry deer, would that jog your memory?”
“Jog memory? Memory can run now?” Shane was clearly not believing the bluff. “I do not think I know this phrase. English is so weird. So hard to understand.”
When Haas started to explain the phrase, Shane cut him off. “No, he understands. He’s trying to get out of this.”
“No, no, I am sad lost immigrant who is struggling with language.”
“You fuckin liar,” Shane laughed. “How often are you using that excuse?”
“Enough.”
“Roz, is your English better than you’ve been letting on?” asked LaPointe
“Who’s to say?”
“Guys, he’s lived here since he was a teenager. Come on.” Shane wasn’t going to let him get away with anything anymore. Maybe there was a downside to him signing with Ottawa.
~~~
The night trickled down and so did the attendees. Shane didn’t notice at first, but it was only the kids and partners leaving. It was dark now, a campfire going and too many bugs out to be fully comfortable. But the drinks were still flowing and the food had been amazing so he couldn’t complain too much.
“Don’t leave too much of a mess outside,” Cassie said as she leaned over the couch to give her husband a kiss on the cheek before heading inside.
It was only the team now, mostly the guys that Ilya had talked about all the time.
“Ok. I think that was signal, yes?” Ilya said plainly. He was leaned back against Shane, sitting on the couch opposite of Bood, Hayes, and Haas. Barrett, LaPointe, Chouinard, and Dykstra took up the scattered chairs around the rest of the circle. Young, Holmberg, and Dillon had all headed out in the last hour.
Shane had been playing with the strings on the old Voyageurs hoodie Ilya had put on once the temperature dropped. He’d gotten some boos for it when he first trotted it out, but when he said it was the first time he could wear it in public the teasing stopped. The team was good about that stuff and Shane noticed it instantly because he was always bracing for the opposite.
“What signal?” Shane asked.
“Hollander, they have been very good for many weeks and all night.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Have many questions, yes? That is why everyone else leaves. Even Cassie.” He could hear Ilya’s English weakening. He was probably at least tipsy at this point. Ilya stood up and went to leave through the house. He better not be leaving Shane to fend for himself after suddenly getting cryptic.
That was exactly what he was doing. God dammit.
“Uh, do you know what he’s talking about?” He asked the assorted Centaurs. It was crazy how quickly over half a dozen grown men could suddenly not make eye contact. Haas’s shoulders were being worn like earmuffs from how deep he was turtled down in his seat. Barrett looked straight up haunted. What the fuck was Shane missing here?
“Cap may have made some promises to keep us focused for the playoff run,” said Dykstra.
“Promises?”
“So we’d all stop asking questions. Because we were being ‘so boring and annoying all the time.’” It was not fair that LaPointe had a better Ilya voice than Shane did. First, they got to travel all over the continent with him and now they got to be better at mimicking him too? Ilya would make fun of him for being this consistently jealous of the Centaurs but it wouldn’t stop the way it gripped his heart.
Ilya came back outside, now holding multiple bottles of vodka. Where had he even found those?
“Bood! Where are shot glasses?!” he barked out as he made his way back to the firepit.
“I’ll be right back.” Bood shot up and jogged inside, clearly excited to have an excuse to leave the uncomfortable conversation.
Ilya took his seat so close to Shane that was practically sitting back in his lap again. He had four bottles of vodka in his arms and started distributing them around the circle, a devilish look in his eyes. Shane had a feeling that they were all about to need rides home. Ilya tended to be just as competitive in drinking games as he was everywhere else and it brought out the worst in other professional athletes. Upon Bood’s arrival, he laid out the ground rules.
“Ok,” he said clapping his hands together to punctuate the announcement. “We need rules, yes?”
“I still have no idea what we’re talking about,” Shane said. Ilya leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the lips.
“Yes, you have always been too pretty to need to learn context clues,”
“Excuse me?”
“You are excused.” Ilya opened their bottle of vodka and poured a shot before handing it to him. Then he poured himself one and looked at the rest of the group expectantly.
“Roz, did you actually not talk to him about this?” asked Barrett.
“No, I wanted him to come,” Ilya shrugged. He raised his glass and waited until everyone else was as well. “Tykva!”
“Tykva!” The rest of the team all repeated before they all drank. Shane took his shot a second later and then couldn’t help laughing at them.
“Tykva? Pumpkin?”
“What?” Shane couldn’t place who was asking it because he was staring at a deviously grinning Ilya.
“Hollander, you are giving away all my secrets.”
“That’s not the Russian word for ‘cheers’?” asked Chouinard. Ilya responded with a noncommittal shrug, pouring him and Shane another shot.
“Is that why Popov looked at me like I was crazy at All-Stars last year?” asked Hayes.
“Hazy, no! You do shots with Popov and not invite me?” Ilya was clearly trying his best to sound offended. “He is total lightweight and I like to make fun of his farm boy accent. Would be worth it for you all to learn Russian so you could hear it too. He sounds very silly. Even more ridiculous when drunk.”
“How much ‘Russian’ have you taught the team?” asked Shane. “Please tell me you’re not doing that to me too.”
“No, moy pomidor, I love you. I would not do that to you,” he leaned to kiss Shane’s temple. “Besides, our future children would rat me out one day. Am trying to avoid that argument.”
“How noble of you,” Shane said, rolling his eyes.
“Can you two stop flirting for ten seconds so we can actually ask questions?” Barrett interrupted. Oh, that’s what the vodka was for. This was starting to make sense.
“Yes, ok.” Ilya put a steadying hand on his thigh, squeezed once and left it there. “We need rules, yes? We can all agree to that?”
“Sure,” Bood stepped up to accept on behalf of the team. Ilya’s linemate wore the A for a reason, might as well be him speaking for the opposition.
“Harder question you ask, the more you have to drink to make us answer. You can pick who answers but Shane costs more. We don’t want to answer? Means we have to drink to keep quiet.” Not bad, he’d probably made up those rules days ago if he knew his fiancé. “No asking questions repeatedly to make us drink if we don’t want to answer but you can ask the other person to try to get answers. We go around the circle and everyone gets equal amount of questions unless they agree to skip. Nards is good husband who is not drinking while Selena is pregnant to sympathize. He can be the judge if we disagree on price of a question.”
There weren't even any negotiations. They agreed to their captain’s terms without hesitation. That was a bad sign for everyone’s livers but Shane wouldn’t be the one to bring it up. Despite the decade plus of secrecy, he felt like it wasn’t going to be hard to be open. From the way Ilya talked about these guys, it wasn’t even going to be hard to keep things fun and relatively private.
“Ilya, your question. You guys verse or what?” Barrett asked a glint in his eyes that said he already had suspicions. Shane’s hand jutted out to cover Ilya’s mouth.
“Ilya, you’re taking a shot.” He did not want details of their sex life right out of the gate. Maybe they could joke about it one day but the online speculation didn’t exactly make him want to discuss it right now.
“Moy lyubimyy, was already going to drink. Now you make me take full shot instead of half.” Ilya downed the drink and poured himself another. “Hayes, you get next one.”
“Shane, who asked who out?” Shane looked at Ilya expectantly.
“Is your question. I don’t care if you answer,” Ilya said.
“How much does that one cost? You didn’t like me setting it before.” Shane knocked his shoulder against Ilya’s in a teasing manner.
“Right, two sips, less than half a drink.” Shane waited until Hayes took his drink to respond.
“I mean, we didn’t actually go out on a real date until a couple months ago? Kind of hard when you’re supposed to hate each other. I guess me? I wanted to get chicken parm after Crowell told us we had to make a statement saying the video was a joke.”
“Shane, who else knew?” asked Bood.
“One shot.” Bood downed it without hesitation.
“My parents, Hayden Pike and his family, Rose Landry, Svetlana Vetrova, Ryan Price, and Fabian Salah.” They shouldn’t have looked as shocked as they did.
“I’m sorry, Svetlana Vetrova? Like Sergei Vetrov’s daughter? The Boston Bears legend?” asked Hayes. Made sense that he’d be the one to recognize the name.
“Yes, she is one of my best friends. Have been in many tabloids with her.” Oh, maybe Ilya hadn’t told the team anything about his life. Yeah, they were back and forth to see each other all the time but was it really that bad? Fuck, how much of team bonding was he keeping Ilya from?
“Fabian fuckin Salah?” Barret asked.
“We go on double dates. Are very hot and cute out all together.”
“I’m sorry, what?” asked LaPointe.
“Take a sip,” Shane said. LaPointe looked confused. “It’s your turn. Not really a hard question.”
“Fuck you, Hollzy,” he said while bringing the shot glass up to his lips.
“No, is my job,” Ilya interjected. Shane pushed him half way down the couch and when Ilya sprung back up he leaned in close to his boyfriend. Napkins and other random pieces of trash were thrown at them from the bad joke. Shane heard a few boos but they didn’t have any actual malice in them. It reminded him of how the Voyageurs made fun of Hayden when he called Jackie after their second Cup win. Eventually LaPointe took his drink.
“Yep,” Shane said to reply to LaPointe’s barely a question.
“Ilya,” started Haas, “did you move here for Shane?”
“Take a sip, kid,” said Ilya. “Of course. He is worth the move.”
A chorus of “awws” and teasing jeers lifted up.
“Shane, are you guys gonna keep doing two cities or like, move halfway between?” asked Chouinard.
Shane took his shot, raising some eyebrows. Then he poured another half shot and downed that too.
“That seem fair?” Ilya and Chouinard both nodded in approval.
“Ilya, what’s your favorite thing he does?”
“Half a shot.” Dykstra downed it no problem. “Laundry.”
“What? That cannot be a real fucking answer,” Bood said laughing at them.
“No, he’s not lying,” Shane said beaming at Ilya. Then a wicked thought crossed his mind. They could gently nudge them into questions if they wanted. “The answer to why is two shots.”
“I can pony up for that,” Barrett said, already getting ready to pour himself a second drink. “Roz’s answer.”
“It’s how he fell in love,” Shane said coyly. Ilya turned to him, giving him a completely lovesick and adoring look. There was a slight flush on his cheeks either from the fire, alcohol, or memories.
“He folds his clothes before sex. Is hot.”
“I regret asking. I did not need to know that.” Barrett looks weirded out, but knowing that his own boyfriend was here earlier keeps Shane from worrying it was anything other than being fake grossed out by your friend’s sex lives. “That doesn’t even make any sense.”
“You haven’t seen it. Do not understand sensuality.”
“Wow Roz, Hollzy really out here making you break out the three dollar words,” teased Dykstra. Ilya flipped him off.
They played another few rounds and Shane mostly answered the questions, only needing to take a few more sips total after probably an hour. It was surprisingly easy to be honest with the Cens and their questions weren’t too terrible or embarrassing. Ilya’s answers had been enlightening too.
“Shane, questions for ya,” said LaPointe. “Let’s say Roz isn’t an option. Who else in the League would you go for?”
“Only ones I’d have a shot with or like straight ones too?” he asked.
“Moya lyubov, you are hot enough that you would have a shot with many straight ones too.”
“Shut up,” Shane retorted, feeling a blush coming on. “One and a half shots, Pointy.”
“Anyone,” LaPointe clarified between drinks.
“David McDaniels, 2nd line defenseman for the Mission,” he said. Oh fuck, he might actually be kind of drunk if he was saying that out loud.
“That was quick,” Ilya huffed, pouting. He crossed his arms and Shane knew he was going to hear about this for years, but too late. Might as well double down and make it worth it.
“He was on my All-Star team a few years ago. He's hung like a fucking horse.” He heard a few stunned laughs from the Cens. He made eye contact with Barrett and saw the other man nod once in agreement; an expression in his contemplative frown that said “can't say I disagree.” He'd forgotten Troy was on that team too.
“Shane, what the fuck?” he heard Ilya ask.
“If I'm gonna be thinking of Ilya the whole time, it might as well be with someone who's at least close.” Ilya's head snapped to his, an insane wide smile immediately replacing the pout. His eyes sparkled in the way they only did when his fiancé managed to surprise him. The way Shane knew Ilya found sexy as hell.
The team on the other hand, reacted like they'd heard the funniest and most ridiculous thing. Like this was the first sex joke they'd heard in all of professional sports. And at least in the context of Shane Hollander, it was. Luca Haas had eyes as wide as dinner plates. He'd heard from Ilya that he'd grown up with posters of both of them in his bedroom. The comment was probably far beyond what he'd imagined hearing from his childhood hero if he ever got the chance to meet him.
Ilya snuggled into Shane’s side, acting like he wanted to burrow his entire body into Shane's. He pushed him off, calling him obnoxious but kind of loving how annoying Ilya was allowed to be in front of his friends. Ilya latched himself back onto Shane and Shane let him, noticing that no one seemed to give a shit. Like it was expected for them to be close and affectionate.
Fuck, these guys were better than his team.
Maybe it would be good for them to be his team?
He could sign in two weeks.
He would sign in two weeks.
~~~
No Cap Just Stallions 🐎
Me
We need a strategy 👀
Boody Rockin Everywhere
I’d feel bad targeting Shane but that’s the best bet we have
Grin n Barrett
I know how to break them
Oh Nards
Gay on gay crime 👀
No Pointers
#straightprivilege
#stayblessed
The Child
I thought this was going to be a fun get to know Shane meeting
Ilya trusts us to be kind
Shouldn't we show that's right?
Young as Hell
Booooooo
*5 people liked this*
Ask the questions I wish I could
Hazy Moments
grest wirk everuine
~~~
“Do I have to be the one to ask?” said Chouinard. “You guys are doing my drinks so I feel bad but I think we all wanna know.”
Ilya was barely paying attention to the strategy conversation between the guys. After several rounds of questions and not as many skips as he'd anticipated they were well through close to half a bottle of vodka between the two of them.
Ilya was drunk. Not as bad as most of his team. But. Bad. Probably. Shane would take him to a guest room. Hopefully. He could also fall asleep outside if he could sleep out here with Shane though. He was so soft. But so firm. Hot.
God, he was hot.
Shane was playing with his curls absentmindedly. He hoped that never stopped.
“Ilya, question.” They must have agreed that Nick could ask whatever he thought the big burning question was. “Who’s better?”
“In bed? Is team effort, no? I weep for your wives and girlfriends if you think it is competition.”
“On the ice. Real answers. Dicky’s asking Shane next too.” Ilya’s eyes could already barely focus from a mix of drunkenness and exhaustion, but he fixed them to Shane’s. They’d had this argument maybe more than any other but they weren’t at home and they were both too drunk to settle things how they normally did in order to stay sane.
“We will both do two shots because we are in love and do not need to fight about this again,” Ilya said, reaching for the bottle.
“No way,” Shane stopped his hand. “Ilya might, but I’m not backing down. Two shots for my answer though Dykstra, drink up.”
“Oh, is that how it is?” Ilya sat up straighter, feeling the challenge rising in his chest. He’d fucking show Shane. Was gonna make him look so fucking stupid. “Who’s drinking for Chouinard this round? Only one shot for my answer.”
“Same time?” Shane offered. Ilya nodded and the boys counted down for them. “On zero?”
“5! 4! 3! 2! 1!”
“Shane.”
“Ilya.”
Their voices overlapped and Shane’s dumb, lovestruck, adorable, unbelievable, drunk, sexy, cute, freckled, and fucking perfect face had a downright wicked look on it. When his expression caught up to his ears, it shifted to offense.
“What? Fuck you. I’m supposed to get to be the romantic one with my answer.” He sounded actually pissed off.
“Oh, so I am supposed to be asshole?”
“You are an asshole.” Shane was arguing with his whole body. The way he really only did when he was talking about hockey with his mom or trying to convince Ilya that his smoothies weren’t that bad.
“Fuck you, Hollander. I am romantic one. Always have been.”
“I didn’t set up like four hundred candles so I could propose to not be the romantic one. Are you fucking kidding me, Rozanov?” He could vaguely hear the team laughing at them, but he was too focused on one upping Shane to give a shit.
“You stole my idea!” he shouted. “And I would have done real candles out on our dock. With ones floating in water too. You make things so safe and boring.”
“Oh sure, so boring you cried and dropped to your fucking knees.”
“You were on knees first.” Shane looked like he was contemplating tackling him back onto the couch. Ilya could feel heat pooling in his stomach, fuck Shane was hot when he was like this. “Like always.”
“Oh fuck--”
“Ok, I think we’re getting more than we need to.” Bood sounded worried that the questions might have gone further than any of them intended.
“Fine, fuck. Next question,” Shane said trying and failing to calm himself down. Ilya could see a vein pulsing in his neck. He wanted to put his mouth on it until his boyfriend was gasping his name and reaching a hand around his dick.
“I think I’m too drunk, pass,” Troy said. One look at him told Ilya that was a wise decision.
“Ok, uhhhhhhh how long have you guys actually been together?” slurred Hayes.
There it was. The question that could actually sober them both up. He gave a side glance to Shane and both of them called an instant truce.
“Answer we will give publicly next season is half shot.” He saw Shane nod in agreement at the price. “Real answer is three.”
“You guys can split it up, we’re not trying to kill anyone.” One quick game of Nose Goes later and Hayes, LaPointe, and Haas all took stinging shots.
“We will imply All-Stars 2017 because people always guess that,” said Ilya.
“It wasn’t then?” Bood sounded surprised. Oh fuck yes, it was going to be worth it to keep it secret just to get to hear the surprise whenever he wanted to.
“Nope,” he said, taking a sip of vodka and winking at Shane.
“We hooked up in the summer,” Shane said, playing into it. His eyes bore into Ilya’s, passing over the perfectly set up shot.
“Oh so like--”
“Of 2010.”
Pandemonium.
Haas looked shellshocked, like he’d be frozen forever on Bood’s patio furniture. Dykstra had to stand up and walk away like he’d chosen to live among the trees. Troy wouldn’t stop repeating “fuck you” seemingly directed at both of them. Hayes was laughing like the goddamn Joker. Chouinard and LaPointe were both reaching for their wallets, LaPointe standing up to hand the other man some amount of money that Ilya couldn’t see.
It took them all some time to settle down. And for Chouinard to convince Dykstra not to go live with the squirrels. But when they did they quickly settled back in.
“Ok, what the fuck?” said Bood.
“Is that your question? I’ll let you ask it for like one sip if--” Shane was cut off.
“Fuck you,” Bood said, flipping him off for extra emphasis. “You assholes are fucking perfect for each other.”
“I agree.” He leaned over with his dopey smile and kissed Shane lazily on the mouth. Really more just pressing their lips together than doing anything meaningful.
“Fuck you,” Bood repeated. “Fucking--2010? Were you even in the League then? How?”
“I can take for half a drink,” Ilya said. Bood downed a full one anyway. “We were rookies in 2010 so it was before. I had CCM photoshoot because everyone loves me so much and I am #1 pick. But I take pity on pretty Canadian who is so sad he loses to me at draft and ask them to let him tag along.”
“Fuck off, that’s not how it happened and you know it.”
“You’re right, moy dorogoy.” He could make Shane regret that. “I actually set up photoshoot and request that Shane is there because I am more romantic one and always have been.”
“Real fucking romantic to start jacking off in the shower at me.”
“You get hard first. And I keep stupid fucking ginger ale in my house for months before you even say my first name.”
“I invited you to my cottage.”
“While high out of your mind. You break up with me to go fuck Rose Landry.”
“Oh my God, Ilya, I’m gay. I hired a stylist just so I could look good enough to try to get you back.”
“I moved to fucking Ottawa. Fucking Ottawa! Just to be closer to you.” It was his trump card, the last resort in these dumb petty arguments.
“So am I!” Shane’s shock at the admission snapped both their mouths shut.
Oops.
Team wasn’t supposed to know that yet.
“‘Scuse me?” Bood said to cut through the tense silence.
“Surprise….” Ilya said awkwardly.
“So uh,” Shane tried to explain. “I’m signing to Ottawa in two weeks. It would’ve been sooner, but we’re busy next weekend.”
“Busy?” Bood sounded like he was on the verge of exploding at them, bracing himself for some bullshit that was gonna piss him off. And he was right to.
“Yeah.”
“Busy with what?” asked Haas. It was his turn.
“Everyone do a shot, Chouinard too,” Shane said in a snap decision. He topped off both his and Ilya’s drinks. “Tykva!”
“Tykva!” the Cens responded. The bite of the vodka was hopefully about to dull the response he could predict would be coming shortly.
“You guys busy next Saturday?” asked Shane, face flushed. “We’re getting married.”
“OH, FUCK OFF.”