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The East Window by silicon_nodule
Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series (TV)
11 Jul 2026
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Summary
After seeing what a Romulan looks like for the first time, Spock is facing scrutiny from the crew of the Enterprise. Though he still has his friends, can he bring himself to rely on them? Or will he stay silent until he breaks?
Hint: it’s the latter
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Bookmark Notes:
Ch 15
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Bookmark Notes:
14
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Bookmark Notes:
super good spock self harm fic!!! no comfort yet but the hurt is very good
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Bookmark Notes:
Ah, the feeling of not belonging and knowing you never will. Me too, Spock, me too
I'm reading every update and oh my god, I love this so much. I can't believe I found this. This is exactly the kind of fanfic I go crazy for and the fact that it's regulary updating now, in June 2026, just when I'm really really really getting into Star Trek and Spock, it's so amazing.
I love Spock and Bones's friendship. I also really love the fact that we don't have only Spock's POV, but also Jim's and Bones's. That's when you can see the worry and that's another thing I go crazy for
I must say, it's incredibly difficult to try to help someone with depression. I'm currently in a similar situation and I feel so helpless. Especially since I had a rough few years as well and I know that not a lot could have helped me back then. I had to find my own way. But now, my friend needs help and I don't know how to help her. I can't be physically with her, not when we live far apart. I don't know what to say to her, because I know that words are just words and I'm just a chat in her phone. I can't make it a whole lot better, when she feels like her friends don't really care about her and when every romantic relationship she has, turns out bad. And I'm scared. A few years ago, we talked about not wanting to live and since then she hasn't mentioned feeling this way, but I'm scared that she does. I don't know what to do if she does. I don't know how to help someone through that. I can't tell her it's gonna get better in high school, like it did for me, because she just finished her first year in high school and it's not much better.
Can't believe I turned this bookmark into essentially a diary. Venting about an extremely personal situation. Well, nobody's probably going to read this. And I can't just erase it. I needed to put my feelings somewhere and somewhere where it's so aesthetically pleasing to look at.
Chapter 9 and Spock meticulously modified his answers to the depression questionnaire like it was a test for school. Wtf that is the most Spock thing EVER. I fear nobody else will ever reach this level of Spock vibes. But his results are crazy. It goes up to 80 and anything under 20 is normal. Spock got 68. And his modified for Bones results got 17. Noooooo. Now Bones is relieved, noooooo. Bones, come onnnn, you know Spock, do you really believe he would be honest about his mental health??? Please go back to being worried crazy because YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED CRAZY.
OMG?? I SWEAR I WAS JUST DOWNSTAIRS WITHOUT MY PHONE AND THINKING ABOUT THIS FIC, HOW NICE IT WOULD IF IT UPDATED AGAIN TODAY AND THEN I GO UPSTAIRS AND I OPEN GMAIL AND THERE IT IS: CHAPTER FUCKING 10
Okay, but Jim being like "can I hug you?" and "Spock, you're my best friend" stopppp😭😭 I love that so muchhhh
The author said there's going to be a big confrontation between the three of them, LET'S GOOOO, I can't wait till they find out how severely depressed Spock truly is, at the same time I hope they realize some of this in the next chapter and at the same time I want the angst to continue so that the moment of them finding out hits harder
"Why did Jim want him to stay?
Wouldn’t he prefer solitude to poor company?"
SO RELATABLE OH MY GODS. I SWEAR, IF MY FIRST LANGUAGE WAS ENGLISH, I WOULD HAVE THIS THOUGHT, WORD FOR WORD, BC THAT'S BEEN MY THOUGHT PROCESS SO MANY TIMESMirror Bones was... A lot. I kinda expected him to betray Spock. The author said in comments that this betrayal is going to do looootssss of damage. That's going to sting
... Oof. That's heavy. Graphically planning suicide. It's been a while since I last read a fic with this graphic of a suicidality. God, I need for Bones and Jim to find out. Pleaseeeee, find outttt. Spock needs you two, don't let him down. I'm also afraid of what's going to happen after they find out, cause all fics say that a mentally ill crew member cannot remain on the ship or something like that
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Bookmark Notes:
Finished 4
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Bookmark Notes:
Read 15