Chapter Text
Memory Transcription Subject: Vrisk, Venlil Skalgan
Voluntarily Unemployed (as of today)
Date: [Standardized Human Time] July 12, 2138
“I don’t see why you couldn’t keep the job at the grocery store and just have fun with your friends on the rest paw. Don't you want to have a career?” His mother's voice wavered with panic as she followed him from through the living room. He'd only told them that he quit his crappy job and she was acting like it was a damn Arxur raid.
“The band is my career mom! Not some stupid grocery store! I’m not going to stay there forever until I become some washed up middle manager!”
“There’s nothing wrong with middle management" She lectured. "Especially if you don’t have a degree, which you would also need for a career in music. You haven't even touched that human instrument in herds!” He'd heard this all a dozen times before.
“I’m a vocalist, Mom! My voice IS my instrument!”
“Darling, you know I love you, but you’re not a Krakotl.”
“ITS NOT THAT KIND OF SINGING!” He shouted as he stomped off towards his room.
“Oh, Barsk dear, can you help me talk to him?” His father set down his holopad with a sigh and rose to stand beside her. His black wool stood in stark contrast to hers, unfortunately Vrisk only inherited enough of his color to make him look perpetually dirty.
“Son, your mother and I just think that you’re taking this pr*cough*uh human thing a little too far. We’re glad you’ve found a herd but you’re behaving more like… one of them, and less like a proper Venlil.”
He stopped, his door ajar. There it is, there it always is. Just like all the other fed-brained, herd-following, brahk-asses. They still clung to the federation ideology, never truly stopped believing their lies and propaganda no matter how much evidence was laid before them. He wanted to just go into his room and ignore them, but he couldn't keep the words bottled up and whirled to face them again.
“I. AM. A. SKALGAN! And you would be too if you’d grow a brahking spine!”
His parents were silent for a moment, looking at each other nervously. He knew that look, he'd seen it every time he had an outburst, no matter how justified, ever since he was a child. He knew exactly what line was coming next, and it looked like it was father's turn to say it.
“We’re just worried about you. We don’t want you to end up like your uncle.”
*SLAM*
The doorframe shuttered at the violence inflicted upon it, and he took a moment to take a deep breath and try to collect himself. Even after everything that had come out, everything they had learned about the fed’s predshit, they still-
“What'd you do this time? Start eating meat?” His little sister Vily asked from the small desk in the corner of the room.
“Gah!” He bleated. “The speh are you doing in here? Don't you have your own room?”
“Yeah, but I don't have a pad with access to the human internet in mine.”
“I've offered to set that up for you like a dozen times.” he grumbled as he threw open his closet and began rummaging through a pile of human style clothes.
“and get caught having that on my pad? No thank you. If I use yours I've got plausible deniability.” She smirked as she spun lazily in his desk chair. Typical, she was always the ‘proper’ child. Good grades, a large herd at school, even her wool was a perfect mix of mom and dad’s, with black spots over a pure white coat that Sam said resembled a dalmation. Their parents had no idea she had just as much interest in human culture as he did, she just preferred their fashion, dancing, and pop music. She had even agreed to join a cheerleading squad with some humans and other Venlil from her class after harvest break.
“But seriously, what'd you do?”
Vrisk found what he was looking for and pulled a duffel bag out from underneath the pile. He took a moment to gaze at the guitar tucked into the corner before he turned and set the bag down on his bed with a thud.
“I quit my job at the brahking grocery store.” He unzipped the bag with more force than necessary and began checking the contents: clothes, belts, wool wax, dye… his sister gasped.
“Oh my speh, are you sneaking out again? Do you have a show? Will there be dancing? Can I come!?” She had stopped spinning and was teetering on the edge of the seat, her tail thrashing back and forth in excitement.
“First, no I'm not sneaking out. I'm an adult and I can leave whenever the speh I want… I just don't want to go through the front door and deal with mom and dad. Second, yes we have a show in about a claw, I don’t know if there will be dancing, and no you can't come. It's at a bar for adults, which I am and you are not.”He said, pointing at himself and then her.
Her ears flattened and she got that pouty look in her eyes. “Barely, you’ve only been an adult for like, a herd of paws.”
“Two herds, actually. I turned 18 when I graduated, remember? You made yourself sick on cake.”
“Mmm, it was worth it! Speaking of, you owe me for not running to tell mom what you're up to right now. I'd say a… chocolate bar would suffice.” He looked up from the bag and saw that she was already holding a chocolate bar in her paw. His chocolate bar. That little speh must have found his stash.
He sighed, he didn’t have time to deal with this right now. He rezipped the duffel bag, slung it over his shoulder, and opened up the window. “Alright fine, but you have to give some to uncle Fehryl, I promised I’d bring him a piece.”
“Yeah yeah” She said dismissively around a mouthful of chocolate. “Go have fun shouting and face-biting with your scary human girl friend.”
He was halfway out the window and nearly crashed into mom’s garden as his ears bloomed bright orange. “She’s not - We don’t - guh - whatever!”
Her whistling laugh faded as he pulled the window closed from the outside and tiptoed between the various flowers and plants. Stupid parents. Stupid teasing sister. She knows enough humans to know that girl friend means mate, and that it's not face-biting. He had half a mind to turn around and… he didn’t know what exactly.
He huffed and pulled out his holopad as he exited the garden and strode towards the street. He needed to order a van to pick him up and go collect the rest of his band mates and all their gear.
The screen flashed to life, his background showing a picture of them after their first performance. Jason and Trill were in the back, as usual, trying not to draw attention. Narli was on the left, doing his best attempt at a human smile. Vrisk was on the right, looking frazzled and exhausted, or at least that’s how he remembered feeling at the time. And in the center was Sam, her hands in that ‘horned’ gesture she taught them and her face scrunched in a shout of exultation.
He couldn’t believe his sister called her scary... actually no he could totally believe that. She can be scary when she wants to be, which is usually just when someone deserves it, or when she thinks it would be funny. But still, the only time he remembered being scared of her was the first time they met.
Date: [Standardized Human Time] December 15, 2136
(about a year and a half ago)
Even before the humans showed up I kept getting into trouble for sneaking out, or wandering off, or being too loud, or being too curious about the wrong things. So of course I was curious when the humans showed up, and even more interested when the refugee center was set up in town, but I wasn’t the only one. Every day there were rumors, news reports, and editorials about them, they were all anyone could talk about. And that focus only got more intense when they started their “outreach” events. Every few paws the humans would come out to some public place to talk and demonstrate something about themselves. There had been music performances, yoga demonstrations, ballroom dancing, and even a live painting demonstration.
That last one had caused a stampede on the local art stores and been rebroadcast several times on the local holovid station. The human painter had not only created two gorgeous masterpieces in less than a single claw, but he had described each step of the process as he went along. Every brush stroke, color choice, and technique was narrated in a deep, soothing voice. It made people feel as if they could do the same thing, and as a result the whole town was sold out of paint. There was even talk of the human getting a regular show.
With such exciting developments happening, how could I not go see the next event? Sure it was going to be another musical performance, but this time it was a group instead of an individual musician, and for the first time there would be singing!
The downside to so much interest in the humans, though, was that by the time I got to the park there was a large herd of other Venlil already gathered. Being a bit on the shorter side, I couldn’t even see the stage through the mass of wool, and so I wandered around until I spotted a hill off to the side with a tree at its peak.
After a bit of hiking and panting I made it up to the top and felt quite proud of myself as I admired my view of the stage. It was a bright, sunny day with a pleasant breeze and the shade here under the canopy of rustling leaves was just right. It was a blissful moment that I closed my eyes and savored… right until I heard what I was certain was the sickening, wet crunch of teeth snapping bone.
I should have run, thrown myself back down the hill as fast as I could. And yet, instead I found myself slowly leaning around the trunk, convinced that I was about to see a human crouched on the ground, feeding on the bloody corpse of a fresh kill, mouth and hands stained orange with blood.
Instead I came snout to elbow with a pale limb, slender but toned with visible muscle and the barest dusting of fur. I followed the curves down their length to a set of long, delicate fingers gripping some kind of fruit.
The beginnings of a song drifted up the hill as the band began to play, and despite my ears twitching at the melody my eyes were transfixed on the figure before me. I followed her hand upwards as she went to take another bite and got my first true look at a human with no mask or covering like the ones on the news. Their pale yellow fur, which turned dark at the top, hung down to frame the light skin of their face. And bright red lips that matched the color of the fruit parted to reveal not the fangs that I had expected, but small flat teeth. And those eyes, though they were admittedly unnerving, were an undeniably gorgeous shade of green.
She was staring off into the distance as she took another bite. The sound was much less intimidating when I could see the source, and despite my instincts screaming at me to run or sneak away, I stayed rooted to the spot long enough to be spotted.
In what felt like an instant those eyes went from looking out over the quiet town of Merrywood to piercing straight into my very soul. I’m pretty sure there are still marks on that tree from where my claws dug into the bark, but they didn’t seem surprised or fazed at my presence as they casually spoke with a voice muffled by half chewed food.
“Heya fwuff” She deftly tossed the fruit in the air and caught it in the other hand before pulling another one out of her pocket. “Want an apple?”
My curiosity and desire to not offend the potentially dangerous predator overrode my fear, and I gingerly accepted the treat. I didn’t dare take my eyes from her as I ventured a small bite, and the tension in my body began to melt away as I was rewarded with a wonderfully sweet and floral taste.
I devoured the fruit stem and all as she pushed off from the trunk and came around to sit in the grass next to me, watching the stage and listening to the music. The first song was quite interesting, now that I was paying attention. It alternated between serene and intense in a way I hadn't ever heard before. The second tune was pleasantly bouncy and joyful, and I settled into the soft turf beside the human, savoring yet another apple that had been pulled from her surprisingly deep pockets. It wasn't until the third song came up that she spoke again.
“Ugh, the parade of sappy slop continues.” She said with disdain as she threw the remains of her apple an impressive distance in the general direction of the stage.
“D-do you not like these songs?”
She sighed heavily as she slumped back against the tree. “No, I mean yes… they're fine. It's a good song, the band is good, and love songs are ImPorTanT To Our CulTure.” She wiggled her fingers in an odd way, the annoyance still clear in her voice.
“It's just that it’s all we’re allowed to play. These guys used to be cool, they used to rock, you know?” She rolled her head to the side and I flinched as she regarded me with those eyes again.
“You don't know.” she muttered as she looked back out over the park.
“It's just… a couple months ago this same band played a concert for us at the shelter, and sure it was a bunch of older stuff, but it still rocked our [censored] socks off. It really helped people get out of their funk and feel normal again.”
I had no idea what ‘funk’ was or what socks had to do with anything, but it made sense that the humans were struggling with being sent to a new planet after theirs was nearly destroyed. I hadn't really thought about how they would feel before.
“It sucks that they can't play that same stuff here, they can only play this safe, sappy bullshit. Sure it's human music, but it's only part of who we are. We can't always be the… shiny happy people that you want us to be. Sometimes we're scary, sometimes we're loud, we contain like, multitudes and shit.”
“Oh” was all I could think of to respond, but what she said struck a nerve. I thought about all the times I got into trouble for being too loud. All the times I was told to calm down or be quiet, all the lectures about how I would get taken away to a facility if I didn’t act right. I tried to behave, I really did, but when someone wasn’t following the rules or being mean and unherd-like I’d get mad and I’d get loud, and then I’d be the one to get in trouble. Was she saying that the humans were like that too?
“I’m Sam, by the way.” She said more gently, extending one of her hands towards me. Thankfully I had heard about this gesture in some of the news reports.
“Vrisk” I responded as I carefully placed my paw in hers. She wrapped those long fingers around me and gave it a gentle shake before letting go, though the warmth of her touch lingered.
We talked through all of the next song, well mostly she talked. We discovered that we were about the same age, 16 cycles old with our 17th birthdays coming up soon. She told me about the songs they were playing and the bands that wrote them, many of them over a hundred cycles old. Apparently the versions this band was playing were even toned down from the originals to be more gentle for the Venlil audience. She told me more about the concert the band had played, and how a Venlil had actually snuck in and ended up enjoying themselves.
Eventually the band stopped playing and another human stepped out on the stage. Based on his clothes, he was the director from the human shelter that I’d seen in the news. It was at this moment that everything truly changed for me, though it had nothing to do with what was happening on stage.
Sam had pulled a pair of earbuds out her pocket and held them out to me. “Hey, he’s just going to make a boring speech about friendship and unity. Do you wanna hear something different?”
I remember worrying for a moment about what I might be about to hear. All that talk about being loud and intense, about toning things down for Venlil. I wondered if I would be able to handle hearing it. But then I thought, it’s just music, what’s the worst that could happen? So I took hold of the earbuds and somewhat awkwardly put them in.
Sam’s mouth was turned up on one side as she swiped through a library of songs on her pad. I got a brief glimpse of a snarling human face before she hit play and I was assaulted with a wall of sound. Each beat another hammer blow to my senses, repeating over and over until a human voice began what felt more like an interrogation than singing.
Do I make you nervous?
Do I make you scared?
Do I make you wanna just stop and stare?
Weird, bizarre, unusual
Sicker than sick, atypical
A perfect picture of your [censored] worst nightmare
My heart was beating wildly in my chest and I could feel my wool standing on end. Focusing on the lyrics helped me ignore some of the intensity that continued to assail my senses.
Do I make you frightened?
Do I make you fear for your life?
When you're so certain, I'll infect you when I'm near
Obscene, twisted, unnatural
Off the wall, unacceptable
I'm bulletproof to what you think
So you can damn me straight to [censored]
You can [censored] my name
You can throw me to the [censored]
You can burn me in the flame
And say, "She's such a strange girl"
Such a strange girl
The world needs strange girls
Just like me
Was this song written recently, or was it one of the old ones? It really seemed to be speaking directly to the federation. And did I hear that last line correctly, “The world needs strange girls”? That was exactly the opposite of what everyone in my life kept telling me.
I definitely heard it right, as the song continued to repeat the line. I was still trying to wrap my head around it when the song shifted to something softer and more like the singing from the band down in the park.
Do you hate me just to change me?
To be just like you
To be just like you
Do you fear me to make me feel empty?
So I'm just like you
I will never be like you
I'll never be you
The last line went right back to shouting again. It seemed to be making a declaration that, not only were they different, but that they always would be. Becoming like everyone else was either impossible, or would cause them some kind of harm, maybe both. My ears twitched in thought and confusion until, with a few final beats, it was over.
I don’t remember much of what happened after that. Sam got a message from the other humans to go help pack up their things. She took her earbuds back, put on a mask that she seemed to have forgotten she had until then, and waved goodbye. “Hey, at least you didn’t run, maybe I’ll see you around Vrisk.” was all she said as she walked down the hill and left me alone with my thoughts. The band down below played one last song, but it felt jarring to go from the intensity of what I’d just heard back to something “safe”. Still, of all the music I heard that day, it was the one she played that stuck with me for a long time afterwards.