Chapter Text
Ren at the time didn't know about paths or emenators. People in his world unconsciously leaned into a path and gained some power from it, but it was seen as a personal power people had access to. It was considered odd to some; Chihaya's fortune telling, Hifumi's ability she gained in the end to laugh even when she lost and truly congratulate someone, Iwai's grudge he set aside for Kaoru, Makoto and her pursuit of Justice and what was right to be judged fairly all inclusive of the situation the person was in or extenuating circumstances, Haru and her desire to protect the last things her father had left to her during the tragedy devised by one man manipulating a child for their own benefit, Yusuke and his ability to find inspiration even in the depths of extreme distortion of a person's cognition, Ann and her outgoing desire to be the person people look up to when lost or confused and give those wandering souls inspiration to better themselves and the world around them, Ryuji and his desire to get ever better and to finally rehabilitate himself after all is said and done, Futaba and her skill with overcoming the odds and facing forward after her Palace collapsed even if she sometimes has trouble with it still, Yoshizawa and her dream in athletics hiding the face of Gemini that he could never quite pull off that he only noticed far too late, and himself... who tried to face the god of Control Yaldabaoth... only to find the battle unwinnable. The way everyone vanished and strings descended from above them and began reshaping the world, bones, blood rain, and the ever-present despair that permeated the air to anyone with a strong enough will to see through the veil of lies being spread.
It was a close thing, waking up in the Velvet Room after freeing Lavenza only to be told he had failed. It made his heart sink and his mind fuzz around the corners, made anguish bleed into his face and his heart begin to ice up. Lavenza seemed unhappy not only with him but the entire situation. She didn't expressly blame him, but she didn't need to for the flashes of resignation to appear on her face. Though she was good at speaking without adding much emotion to it, though it seemed that schooling her expression was outside of her purview right now. She said he was close to disappearing and asked if he had any last words... he found them quickly enough. "Even if I am erased, if I can ease the suffering of those people and restore what has been broken... I will try. So wait for me... I can't leave things like this. Nobody should be controlled with strings like these." Lavenza's eyes narrowed and she shook her head. "It seems you don't know when to give up. Your time is already approaching, what could you possibly change about it? Even now your form is wavering here in the Velvet Room... exactly what do you plan on doing while you fade into-" Lavenza paused and for a moment a flicker of fear reached her as he was forcefully cast out of the Velvet Room and back onto the battlefield.
His form wavering even as he made effort to stand, to look the god in the face. He wanted to cut the strings raining down from above and attaching themselves like parasites to all. It wouldn't be simple, pulling on the power necessary to rewrite a foregone conclusion, but he owed it to all of his confidants to stop the one confidant that was causing this mayhem. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and felt how heavy they were, how they struggled to reopen. When they reopened, he turned his Third Eye onto Yaldabaoth, saw clearly the strings and the mantra of commands attached to them. It was difficult at this point to speak, yet he did. "Even if it is pointless, even if I can't save everyone and my own tears stain the ground red, even if I am the required sacrifice, the person I am now... I'll do it. For their sake, worthlessness will turn into the knife that will cut the strings of puppets." He felt the world dull slightly, he felt a weight settle on his chest and his body began fracturing faster. It was only barely holding him up, but he drew his knife Misericorde in one hand and gun Nataraja EX in the other. His armor had long since cracked under pressure but his Thief attire kept the brunt of the pressure from killing him fully. A strange black wisp wrapped around his knife turning it into the Shades End and his gun took on a red tint as the blood from above washed onto it becoming known as Anchor of the Departed. The shadow from his knife spread onto his arm, biting cold and pain followed as his attire changed and blended with the blood rain to create his new armor, Cloak of the Lost. His form seemed to stabilize, but the shadow marked every place he stepped in corrosion and despair. His knife then faced down Yaldabaoth while lengthening into something more akin to a longsword, but retained the weight of merely a dagger. In his despair, he stabbed a hole into the midsection of the giant construct of a god, it began to seep across its body like it was devouring it's very being and concept. Ren looked at the sight with something akin to awe, he drove the wound in deeper and the process sped up, he twisted it and the god howled in pain and its strings disintegrated around him as if tainted with some unthinkable energy.
He grinned at the win, but it came at a cost. After the giant being fell, it left him feeling hollow. He felt like he wanted to cease to be, but he still stood, his gaze resting on where the sun should be and reminisced sweetly about his friends. When the cognition reset itself, it left him alone unchanged from his 'self' that had once been exclusive to the Metaverse. His life as an ordinary person was over, he could tell from the trail of corruption that also persisted from his standing on the building. He looked to the light of the sun and he turned his head to the sky. He wondered if there were others like him who had something similar about them, a power like his, if he could learn to control it or if it was always going to cause harm just out of his reach. He sighed and crumpled to the ground as the last of his energy to stay awake was used up. A light came out of the darkness and it shot away from him to the direction the trains usually led to Yongen-Jaya. He was left alone in the silence of his own breath alone. Nothing reached this high up, and some part of Ren believed even in sleep that it never would. His dreams were vivid in the pain and even his own friends left him alone kneeling in place, a monster they had called him. His will was barely holding on, and this would be the last he ever dreamed again. For better or for worse, his sleep would no longer feature anything at all, as Nihility swallowed up the dream and left discontent in it's wake on it's victim.
He didn't expect to be woken up by a woman who seemed curious about the strange corrosion he was causing and wasn't nearly as afraid as he figured she should be. He finds he doesn't particularly care why she isn't. The woman introduced herself as Elizabeth, a former Velvet Room attendant. She was on a journey to find a solution for her former guest and happened to be witness to his struggle against Yaldabaoth and felt inspired to help him. He stayed quiet, not knowing why fixing a problem he was meant to solve was something worthy of attention. Elizabeth frowned for a moment at his lack of positive response and shook her head. "You called on the path of Nihility controlled by IX and have become what others outside this place call a 'Self Annihilator' which is why you can't get up the energy for a reaction. The one you fought is Yaldabaoth, Emanator of Order, servant of an Aeon that has been swallowed by Xipe of Harmony. It was a remnant that had resurfaced through using the power of harmony and a figurehead to revive it, that being Masayoshi Shido. Beyond that, your condition is... well... there are ways to remedy this, but not on this planet." She looks apologetic for a moment before returning to her usual demeanor. "I think it would be a good idea to visit the group who typically treats these kinds of symptoms... They are called the Doctors of Chaos, and in spite of the name, they try to help those who walk the path of Nihility. They want to show IX that life has meaning outside of simple existence, that every moment is something worthwhile. You wanted to give others the gift of choice, whether they use it is not up to you, but having a choice is better than not having any at all. My former guest put his life on the line to give humanity the choice to welcome the end at the time it is destined instead of it being hastened by the actions of those who are selfish. Even now he is the barrier between the universe, Nyx, and Erebus, humanities collective desire for death. You fought so they could choose, a difference between yourself and my guest, you chose this path even at the cost of yourself taking in their pain. So tell me, will you seek help and wander until you find a purpose? Or will you die here wishing for only self-negation? Answer me dear trickster!" She had a smile on her face and a light in her eyes that made Ren push through the pain and nod. He stood up, still remaining silent and cast his gaze starward.