Chapter Text
Life hasn’t been very kind to Zuko since the day he was born — or maybe even before. Whatever forces made him an omega certainly weren’t, at least. He’s ten and doesn’t know what it means fully, but his father made it abundantly clear — he needs to do extra for his voice to matter. Just like how he needs to do extra for not being as good of a firebender as his sister — nothing new, really. Mom never made him feel that way.
Zuko’s twelve. He knows in no uncertain terms that Azula is an alpha, and that makes her simply better. Things are fine as long as parents are away — teasing gets boring quickly, and girls don’t like to be bored. As long as parents are somewhere else, it doesn’t matter who’s omega, alpha, better or worse firebender, firstborn or not. What matters is if he can outrun Ty Lee, if he’s as good in skipping stones as Mai and if he agrees to be Azula’s accomplice in some prank that might be a punishable crime in the outside world. The outside world doesn’t matter in those moments, and not like he sees it that often. Zuko wishes it would just disappear, with throne rooms and dynasties and generals. His next thought is mean, but sometimes he wishes parents would disappear too. Very soon, his mom does. At least she said goodbye.
Zuko’s thirteen. Life twists his every wish in the most cruel way. Uncle is back. His father acknowledged him. He can’t bring himself to look in the mirror now. He shatters one.
Zuko’s fifteen now. He’s angry. He’s scared. He’s stuck on a boat in the middle of nowhere with no real chance to return home. He can’t drink that much tea and play that much Pai Sho, so he throws himself into firebending training. He doesn’t want to think, but there’s only so many distractions you can find on a warship. The crew is nice though. Honorable. No omegas, except him, which is unusual for Fire Nation — any soldier is good as long they can fight, so it must be just his luck again. He’s scared to have his first heat. Will he still be banished after? Will his father marry him off like Azula said? Azula lies, he thinks. Repeatedly, ‘till he can actually believe his own thoughts. Somewhat. She lied back when grandfather died, and she lies now. He doesn’t dare to ask his uncle.
By the time Zuko’s sixteen, he can feel the invisible incense stick of his freedom burning down. His body changed — he’s taller, hairier and angrier. It’s easy to just shave off every hair that reminds him of his inevitable fate, minus having to look in the mirror to do that, but you can’t do it with anger. With hope too, and Zuko feels it dying every day. Good. Hope only brings pain. He wonders how his father reacted to him being omega. He doesn’t dare to voice that question to anyone,even to himself. His uncle’s protectiveness annoys him. His uncle’s scentings start to annoy him too. Zuko’s not fragile. Zuko’s not a pup. Zuko doesn’t need this.
That’s when he sees it, the light. It’s giant and bright and not natural. It’s his chance. Lieutenant Ming turns the ship without questions. Zuko thinks it would be nice to be married to someone like him. Reliable. Funny. Smart. Someone who just listens. He shoos those thoughts away, his eyes locking on one small miracle, a real chance to get home. He’ll restore his honor, and everything will be like it was before. It will not be scary anymore. Not lonely.
Avatar is… how to say it. Young. Not a hundred years old master of all elements, but just a pup. This should make it easier. It doesn’t. Avatar also seems to only use air, and Zuko questions if he thinks him weak, just like his father. Avatar’s friends certainly seem to think so, with their cockiness. Who do they think themselves, great warriors? Protectors of their home?
Uncle says, will and determination define a strong firebender. For once, Zuko listens. Uncle says a firebender needs to know their motivation and desires well. Zuko has his eyes on the prize. On the Avatar, more like, since the prize has a name. Wait, what is the Avatar's name? Zuko doesn’t wonder, and it’s not like he knows many airbender names anyway. Time passes quickly — they meet again, the Avatar and his friends escape his grip just barely, new page, start all over again. Omega learns to appreciate their fighting spirit and sort of looks forward to meeting them again. To capture the Avatar, and not because it's the most fun he has, in a twisted way. Would things be different in a different time? Different place? If there was no war to win and no home to come back to, would they even cross paths?
That is, until Zhao captures the Avatar first. Zuko can’t believe what he’s about to do, but the Avatar is his. So, he’s gonna do the only thing he can think of — grab his mother’s mask, free the boy, new page, same story after. He does just that. He doesn’t dwell on the lack of humanity or respect in hanging little twelve year old boys by their arms and legs, but frogs do raise a question. No Water Tribe citizens nearby is a question too, but how does he ask that, without giving his voice away? They escape successfully. Zuko hits his head - it’s all just black and pain for a bit.
Pain is still there when he wakes back up, and so is the Avatar. His mask isn’t quite there, though. Agni isn’t strong enough word, so Zuko settles for fuck. Fucking shit fuck again. For someone who lives on a boat, Zuko isn’t particularly good at using his curse words. “Thank you,” says the Avatar, “I really need those frogs to help my friends”. Pause. A story. And a question that won’t leave Zuko’s head for months after — “Do you think we could be friends too?” The prince doesn’t want to say ‘Yes’ out loud, so he attacks.
The North Pole is a blur in omega’s mind — he almost dies. He’s cold. Zhao dies. Zuko’s alive. Alive, because of the Avatar, how funny is that? A life for a life, he supposes. Nothing ties them together anymore.
Zuko loses his home too, soon. Azula always lies, he reminds himself, and she has lied again. Agni, they’re refugees now, how weird is that? They travel together for a while. Get fake names of Lee and Mushi. Ugly, Zuko thinks in annoyance. Food is scarce, and bathtimes and comfortable sleeping arrangements are not even in the picture. They can’t live like this. He needs to do… something. When uncle asks where the food came from, Zuko stays silent. They both know the answer. His uncle doesn’t deserve to live in lies and robberies, Zuko thinks. “I don’t think I have anything to gain by traveling with you,” Zuko says.
Traveling alone is harder, but he assumes it’s because he’s going through more deserted in both meanings parts of the Earth Kingdom. Days are hot, and nights are only marginally better. Every traveler he comes across doesn’t have much, and every town has half if not more of their population… absent. Alpha and male parts specifically. Zuko knows why. He still feels safer that way.
He hasn’t eaten a normal meal for about a week when he sees a couple traveling. Zuko is tired. Zuko is hungry. In the past month Zuko’s smell has become more… pronounced, and now he can smell his own distress too. But they have food. They don’t have weapons. Zuko could… He doesn’t. He just watches them, for a bit. He can’t bring himself to rob a pregnant woman. He still has some honor- no, not honor, pride left. He decides to blame his indecision on stupid omega instincts, even though he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He ends up spending his last money on ostrich horse feed. That’s fine. He’ll find a way to feed himself, somehow. For now he just needs to get away from Earth Kingdom army men as far as possible. All “what a pretty thing like you doing there alone” comments can and will be stopped with some dual dao sword action, but he still feels nauseous as he leaves. Disgusting. Weak parodies of a man.
A boy named Lee helps him out. The bed is decent, the dinner is good by his current standards, and he doesn’t mind little work he has to do in exchange. It’s honest work. Honorable. Except he doesn’t tell them his name, so, what honesty or honor is he talking about?
Lee is a little chatterbox of a boy — he talks, and he asks questions, and he doesn’t always wait for the answer, before continuing. Weird, Zuko vaguely remembers himself being like that in childhood, but he doesn’t remember when was the last time he actually behaved like that. Lee tells him all about his brother:
“You know, he would really like you, I think. Like like you,” the boy giggles, “You’re pretty. Even with your scar. And handy too! And smart! You should stay with us until Sensu returns. And you can teach me how to use swords more too.”
Zuko thinks for a second. He’d like to live like that, simple, quiet, happy maybe. But could he ever?
“I can’t.”
“Do you have somewhere to go then?”
Does he? Where exactly would he go? He has no home to go back to. He has no goal to pursue. Even uncle is not an option now — he went away already. He abandoned it all. He failed, he wasn’t good enough, and he abandoned those he cared for. Great fucking job.
But those people. He wants to stay. Maybe a nice Earth Kingdom family could adopt you, Azula says in his mind. He can’t. He can’t say his name to them, and he can’t lie to them either. Sooner or later, Earth or Fire soldiers will come for him. He can’t hurt people who were kind to him anymore. He won’t. He refuses to live like this anymore. So, Zuko leaves. He chooses to leave. Not to run away, not because he’s scared, or tired, or weak. He will continue his journey, Zuko decides. Prince or no, it’s his life to live, and he will not be a punching bag for whatever higher power is so mad at him.
Newfound agency lets Zuko fight for those people too. It lets him say his real name, because honesty is the least he can do after everything. Lee doesn’t want to look at him anymore, but that’s fine. Zuko understands why.
***
Zuko finds and almost loses his uncle again soon. Zuko finds and loses the avatar — no, he lets them go. They even offered help, fuck. He just. He was so scared. He’s not sure if the Avatar or the girl with the pretty hairstyle understood it, but the way the Water Tribe boy flinched and stopped in his tracks for a second… So, the boy was an alpha then. Not like their paths would cross again, but Zuko still was a bit curious on what it's like in their shoes.
They find their way into Ba Sing Se after that. New names, new passports, new lives. Fresh start, for both of them. Lee meets Jet on a ferry ride to the city. Zuko thinks something is not right. Something that makes him feel on edge, and not the good kind, or maybe kind of a good kind, something that makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Jet’s older by about half a year, and presented as alpha already. Jet smells like fire. Like ash, like smoke. Like everything Zuko would rather leave behind.
“You’d make a good freedom fighter,” Jet says.
Zuko wants nothing to do with fighting of any kind. Lee is curious about Jet.
“I don’t think you’d want me to join your team.”
“Sure,” Jet chuckles, “See ya, princess.”
You won’t, thinks Zuko, and I’m no princess. Jet proves him wrong in about a week.
Ba Sing Se is a noisy city — so noisy, that it’s easy to disappear completely. They manage to build a life of sorts for themselves: work in the teashop during the day, put on a mask and sneak out during the night, when everything’s too boring. Truth be told, Zuko misses adventure. Danger. Thrill. He doesn’t know how to live normally, he realizes. So, when Jet shows up at the teashop like promised, omega doesn’t miss his chance. He pins Jet to a wall in some dark alley. Uncle’s not here, he doesn’t have to play nice or polite.
“The fuck’s your problem!?” he presses his elbow to Jet’s throat. It feels good to be in control like that.
“Missed me, pretty boy?” Jet laughs.
They kiss after that. Messy, rougher than Zuko thought he was capable of, but somehow just right. His heart beats faster. He likes it. He needs it.
“I told you, I’m not joining. Don’t show up again.”
“And what if I show up not because of Freedom Fighters?”
“Why then?” Zuko furrows his brows.
“Because of you.”
Zuko feels his cheeks burning. He says something unintelligible as he leaves in a hurry. Jet’s an idiot and a sweet talker. Zuko’s an even bigger idiot, because he falls for that.
True to his word again, Jet shows up — at the end of the work day, usually. He orders, sometimes, but Zuko’s sure he doesn’t care for the tea. That’s fine, Zuko doesn’t care much either. They walk around the city sometimes. They talk — well, Jet talks, Zuko mostly listens. They kiss and touch more often. It’s funny, really, with how much Jet hates firebenders, he seems to like Zuko’s mouth. And tongue. Zuko wonders what would happen, if Jet knew. Would he hand him to the Dai Li? Would he fight Zuko himself? If so, would he win? Or would he just handle Zuko even rougher? Would he still want to leave his scent on Zuko’s clothes if he knew how spot on princess was?
“Day’s slow today, isn’t it, nephew? Why don’t you take the evening off to yourself?” uncle looks at him, like he knows something. Does he? He probably does.
“Huh?” Zuko squeaks out way more pitchy than he’d like.
“Maybe you could even invite your friend over? Our apartment will be all yours for a couple of hours, better than… uh… Just remember to be careful and not agree to anything you don’t want to happen!” Agni, is uncle giving him birds and bees talk?
Kissing Jet is different this time. In the privacy of his and uncle’s apartment and the dim light of the sun setting outside there's no rush, but there’s still want. The couch is way too small for two people, but Zuko doesn’t care, because Jet’s hands are under his shirt, and they're pleasantly cool against his body, and there’s something hard touching his thigh, and he really needed all that, and he’s still about to overheat, Zuko thinks, one thought overlapping with the other. Suddenly, everything stops. The look in Jet’s eyes is not something omega can understand, and he wants to ask what’s wrong, but it doesn’t seem like his voice is in his control. Jet leaves. It takes Zuko a couple more seconds to notice how bright it is in the room. How all lamps are suddenly lit. Agni, what did he do?
Zuko doesn’t talk when uncle comes home. He doesn’t talk when Jet shows up babbling about them lighting lamps and heating up tea. He doesn’t talk as Jet is dragged away by two Dai Li agents. He doesn’t know what to say when Longshot shows up. He takes him to the back of the shop. He tells almost everything. He tells him he’s a firebender — he doesn’t say that he’s a prince too. He tells him about the date, if you can call it that, with Jet — he doesn’t tell the details. He tells him about how they’re refugees truly, no lies here, — he doesn’t tell why. He says sorry, even though it’s not enough. There’s something bitter and sad in Longshot’s eyes. The boy says it’s not Lee’s fault. They sit in silence for a few minutes.
Zuko’s night runs become more frequent after that. He doesn’t do much really, except jumping from one roof to another. He tracks Dai Li agents sometimes, just watching where they go during patrols. He feels… weird. He has too much energy, there’s this constant warmth under his skin. It’s annoying. Despite that, his bed is not warm enough now. He borrows a couple more pillows from his uncle and develops a weird habit of taking his clothes off right in his bed. It helps a bit, but everything still feels too much and not enough at the same time. He’s going farther and farther from their apartment each time too, even though it makes him feel even worse. That’s when he sees the poster. The Avatar is in the city, and without his bison too. He could… He wouldn’t. He put it all behind. He’s Lee now, and Lee doesn’t hunt the Avatar down. But he can’t just sit and do nothing anymore. He needs something. No, he needs to do something. He steals a couple of cabbages. He goes to the only place where you can make someone as small as Jet or as big as sky bison disappear. He doesn’t have a plan, really, he realizes after he finds Appa — Zuko learned that name from the poster, — and sits with him in silence for a bit. Appa looks rough, and devours what Zuko planned to use as lure in a couple of seconds. Then, the bison plops his giant head near Zuko. Does he… does he want Zuko to pet him? Well, Zuko does. His uncle appears in the doorway.
“What exactly is your plan, Prince Zuko? We don’t exactly have a place for him in our apartment,” he asks.
Zuko doesn’t have one. He freezes. He doesn’t want to just leave his chance to get the Avatar or a friend in a desperate situation, but what could he do? They leave. He cuts off Appa’s chains right before. They don’t close the door behind them. Appa seems smart and strong, he will find his way back. Uncle says he did good. In daylight, Zuko feels the worst he has ever felt, probably. He doesn’t remember their way back home too well.
“Prince Zuko,” uncle sounds worried, oh, that’s not good, “Do you know what’s happening to you?”
Zuko shakes his head, not trusting his tongue too much.
“I think you’re entering your first heat, Prince Zuko.”
Fuck him and his life with big fat Agni’s co-
***
He stays home for exactly one day and a half before his patience runs out. He’s hot, and unpleasantly sticky, and honestly every part of his body feels like it’s been lit on fire with how sensitive he is. He wants… something, but he can’t voice it in words he knows, and it pisses omega off. He puts on his Blue Spirit clothes quickly and leaves through the window, as silent as possible, not to worry his uncle. It’s already dark outside, and the wind is pleasantly cooling, he feels a bit better almost instantly.
He wanders around aimlessly for a bit, staying out of crowded places for his own safety and sanity, when he sees a familiar ponytail. Is Avatar still in the city? Did Appa get back safely, at least? Two Dai Li agents follow the boy as if they are his tail, and not whatever the haircut is. Zuko knows Dai Li means trouble, and the only trouble to the Avatar or his friends should be Zuko himself, not like he is any now. Not like he wants to hurt them too, if he’s being honest — he just needed the Avatar, that’s it. Zuko waits for the right moment and grabs the boy by the collar, pulling him into a dark corner behind the building.
“Wha-” the rest gets muffled by Zuko’s hand on the boy's mouth.
He gestures quiet and waits, letting go of Avatar’s friend only after he can’t hear agents’ footsteps anymore.
Watertribe boy catches on quickly. “Thanks, stranger,” he takes a deep breath through his nose, “Wait, are you…”
Whatever he wanted to ask dies on his tongue, as he breathes in again.
“Zuko?” he sounds lost.
Fuck. He’s been caught. Zuko wants to run away, but now it’s what-was-his-name-something-with-S turn to grab him by his wrist.
“Wait, I’m not gonna attack you! Not without explanation, at least,” he sounds trustworthy. He smells trustworthy too, so Zuko stays. He takes off his mask. None of them speak for a bit. Zuko starts first.
“Did Appa come back?”
“How do you know about Appa? Was it you?!” there’s some simmering anger in the boy's smell, and Zuko is quick to diffuse it.
“No! Posters were around the whole city, it’s hard not to know! I found him at uh… Lake Laogai? If you’re familiar? He should’ve been able to get back to the A- To you guys. He looked skinny a bit, you know.”
“Appa? Skinny?” the boy laughs. “He did. Bit a few agents when he got back too, so I think he’s eating well. Dai Li won’t let us go anywhere now, not like we had much freedom before. My turn now! What is a noble guy like you doing out there in… eh…” Zuko can’t see that well in the dark, but he swears, the boy blushes, “In such state?”
“We live here now, me and uncle,” Zuko half avoids the question.
“Mhm, sure. Not exactly explaining your vigilante-or-maybe-robber outfit, but sure, I’ll take it. Now you ask.”
Zuko thinks for a second.
“So…um… What's your name?” he stares at the ground with such intensity it might as well start burning.
“Wha- Dude! Are you serious? I thought we had something, with you running after us for like half a year? Wait, what’s the Avatar’s name?” the boy does a funny voice, parodying Zuko himself or something like that. Zuko just shrugs his shoulders.
“Tui and La, you can’t actually not know his name, can you?” the question seems rhetorical. “Okay, okay. How about I walk you home, which you would definitely have, if you really live in Ba Sing Se, and answer your question on our way there? It’s not safe out here, you know? Not like I would do something, but I’ve definitely met some guys who would. So, let me be a gentleman, would ya?”
The boy’s smile is cute, Zuko thinks.
“Uh. Whatever,” Zuko says.
Zuko puts his mask back on, and they start walking. The boy’s name is Sokka, and that’s not just any ponytail, that’s a warrior’s wolftail. Sokka is also okay with being boomerang guy, or meat and sarcasm guy, or plan guy, or the best alpha ever, because he’ll definitely gonna be that, trust Sokka! His sister’s name is Katara, and she’s an alpha too. She’s also generally awesome, but Zuko’s not allowed to tell her that, not like’s going to. The Avatar’s name is Aang, the tiny blind girl is Toph, and she’s very strong and scary sometimes apparently, and also there’s Suki, and Zuko met her, but she’s not here right now. Zuko tries to remember all that, he’s not quite sure what he’ll need it for.
“So, that’s me,” Zuko says.
“Not a place I would imagine you staying at, no offence.”
“None taken,” Zuko waves his hand, beginning to climb to the window.
“Wait, where’re you going?” Sokka sounds worried.
“My window,” Zuko says, like it’s the most normal way to enter a house, “Uncle’s asleep, and I don’t think he would let me just go like this.”
Sokka doesn’t leave immediately after that, watching Zuko until omega is safely inside and is waving from his window awkwardly. There’s a strip of light coming under Zuko’s door, and when he goes to the common room, his uncle is reading something with a teacup in his hand.
“Uh… Uncle?”
“Prince Zuko!” his uncle’s face lights up immediately, “Are you hungry? How are you feeling?”
“I’m better, I think. What’s for…” Zuko scratches his head, “Is it still dinner or breakfast already?”
Uncle laughs, like everything’s all right. Zuko smiles.