Chapter Text
Baggins Bilbo died with many regrets.
He regretted having let his dear nephew go on this journey. A journey to a land where there were no living beings. To Mordor, because of a ring he had found many years ago. Frodo had lived an adventure, but not like his. Frodo was a hero, even though he lost his innocence and his spark along the way.
He regretted not being able to stop Balin from going to Moria. He regretted being powerless over the fate of two young dwarves who deserved to have a home. But at least they were together ‘til the end. He regretted witnessing the passing of Thorin Oakenshield and did nothing because he was even more powerless. He cried so much as the eyes of the king went blank, death taking him away from his mountain, from his kin. Death taking him away from Bilbo.
He regretted everything. He wanted to do better. He wanted to go back home. To them. To him. Because it was where home was.
He had closed his eyes and let death take him away, too. He hoped that the Valar could hear his last request on his deathbed and that they could grant it to him.
When he opened them, he was lying on the ground. Everything around Bilbo was white. A pure white, like a sheet of paper waiting to be filled with ink. He frowned and got up on his feet. Weird, Bilbo thought, when he was an old Hobbit, getting up was hard, but right now it was like he was young again.
“This is surely unusual”, he muttered to himself.
He walked for a while until he heard a voice startling him. “My dwarves are lost.” A man was speaking. “I think you have a lot of regrets, Bilbo Baggins of the Shire.”
“Your dwarves?” Bilbo asked, a bit lost at first, “Aulë?”
“Indeed.” A loud sigh came from the voice. He could’ve felt the breath of the Valar; it was hot like a smithy and yet comforting. “Bilbo Baggins, my dwarves are going to go extinct. They are lost.”
“And what do you want me to do? I’m just a simple hobbit.”
“Maybe, but you hold an adoration for my dwarves. You have done more deeds for 13 of them than anyone else.”
“I’ve failed them. I’ve failed him.”
“But he has failed you, too. They failed you, too. My dwarves are stubborn and very secretive, but only to protect themselves. You knew how friendly they could’ve been if you were worthy of their friendship and respect.”
Bilbo stayed silent for a while, tears filling his eyes. Oh yes, they were friendly even with their flaws because, besides those, dwarves could be a lot of things. Bilbo never met someone as loyal as Dwalin. He never met someone with a heart as sweet as Ori’s and Bombur’s. He never met someone as loving as Fili and Kili loved each other. He never met someone as fierce as Bifur and Gloin. He never met someone as funny as Bofur. He never met someone as understanding as Oin. He never met someone as protective as Dori and Nori were towards their little brother. He never met someone as calm as Balin.
He never met someone so stubborn and arrogant as Thorin. He never met someone who made his heart beat faster each time he looked into their eyes, as Thorin. He never met someone ready to go on a suicidal quest for his people. But Thorin did, and he did give them back their home, and in exchange, he gave his life. Maybe Bilbo was a fool, but he never met someone he had loved the way he loved Thorin Oakenshield.
“But I have betrayed them. I have broken their trust by taking the most valuable thing they had.”
“You did. But you knew what the Arkenstone was doing to Thorin’s mind. You did what you had to do to protect them. To protect him even from himself.”
Bilbo’s tears flowed freely on his cheeks, now thinking about his dwarves. They all deserved better. He had outlived them all, but he should’ve been the other way around. He sighed heavily and wiped his tears away. “And now what do I have to do?”
“You’ll go back. You’ll remember everything, but with time, because magic is something that can be dangerous but wonderful. Bilbo Baggins, hobbit of the Shire, I give you a second chance to try again. I’ll give the same chance to the rest of the company, but they’ll remember on their own time and terms. Do you understand?”
Bilbo was speechless for quite some time. A second chance to try again? To save them? I’ll take it because they were worth the risk. Because he wanted to free his nephew from the burden of the One Ring.
“Yes, I understand”, he replied fiercely.
Suddenly everything spinned around him, making him fall on his back. Everything went black and heard the Valar’s voice last time.
“Good luck, Bilbo Baggins”