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Waking up in a hospital bed after trying to kill yourself wasn’t the best result. Scanning the room Purpled noticed three other beds with kids in them, well teens who all looked to be about his age. He attempted to use his arms to prop himself up but found that they were too weak. Yeah that makes sense, he looked down to them, they were heavily bandaged and he could just about make out a pinkish tint on his forearms. Looking to his side he noticed Punz asleep in the chair.
Seeing his brother triggered the memories of the steps before and blurrily hearing his brother break down the bathroom door. He assumed the rest of the kids here were also on psych watch, they tended to keep them together. The one opposite with a mop of brown hair was sat up, heavily bandaged with what looked to be a laptop on his lap. The kid diagonal was barely visible curled up under sheets. The kid next to him was sitting up, his knees tucked into his chest, headphones in and staring off into the distance. None of them noticed him wake up. His head still felt heavy and fuzzy, he was about to head back to sleep seeing no point in being awake until Punz stirred and noticed him awake.
“Purp” Punz started.
Purpled observed the brown haired kid look over the top of his laptop.
“Hey” he responded sheepishly.
“I-” Punz stumbled “I’m gonna get the nurse”
Purpled tilted his head back and exhaled.
“Good morning” the brown haired boy chimed in.
Purpled ignored him.
The kid opened his mouth to speak again but Punz arrived back with a nurse, the nurse was wearing patterned scrub and had a name tag reading James.
“Purpled, nice to see you awake” the nurse started.
“I’m not too happy about it,” he mumbled.
“What was that?” the nurse asked, checking over his dressings.
“Nothing”
“Alright, well bandages look good, you’ve got a remote to adjust the back of your bed to help you sit up” they held up a remote before attaching it to the bed rail “The medication should wear off soon, but we are going to keep the cannula in and will probably get you started on fluids now that you are awake”
“Ok” he commented, not really wanting to comment.
“You're his guardian?” the nurse addressed Punz.
Punz nodded.
“We’ll have a chat outside”
They left.
“They’re telling him they are going to put you on psych hold until they think you won't try again” the boy opposite said.
“I figured,” Purpled added.
He reached for the remote and managed to raise the back of his bed so he could sit up and get a better glimpse of the other kids.
“I’m Tubbo” the brunette said.
“Purpled”
“The guy next to you is Tommy and next to me is Ranboo” Tubbo filled him in.
“Nice to know” he started “We’re all in for the same reason?”
“More or less” Tubbo shrugged “Do you play minecraft?”
“Yeah, why?”
“We occasionally all play together, hypixel and a multiplayer server”
“How long have you guys been here then?”
“I’ve been here two weeks, Ranboo about ten days and Tommy just under a week” Tubbo replied.
“So you guys know each other?” Purpled picked at a loose thread on the bed sheets.
“Kind of” he started before immediately backpedalling “Not really we’ve only communicated through minecraft”
“No trauma dumping” Purpled half laughed.
Tubbo frowned.
“It’s awkward we all know why we’re here no point skirting around it”
“You have a point” Tubbo tilted his head.
Punz re-entered the room.
“So, what’s the news?” Purpled asked as Punz arrived at bedside.
“Well they are keeping you here for a while, they’ll do psych checks and shit, I can come during visitation” Punz said.
“Alright, when’s that”
“Everyday either ten till eleven or three till four” Punz started “Obviously I work so I can’t make it in the week but I’ll see you on weekends, they said I can bring some stuff from home for you though, if you wanna give me a list” he pulled out his phone.
“Some clothes, phone, laptop, chargers, that book I’ve been reading, headphones and Dogchamp” he listed. “Thanks” he added as an afterthought.
“Dogchamp” Punz added fondly “Any snacks?”
“All my favourites” he half smiled.
“Alright, I’ll drop them off later today” Punz finished with a nod and began to get up.
Impulsively Purpled added “It wasn’t your fault, you had nothing to do with it”
Punz offered a strained smile before leaving.
He ran his hands over his face exhaling shakily.
“It’s good you told him that” Tubbo spoke up.
Purpled didn’t respond.
“I don’t think anyone here has out right told someone that”
“Well it wasn’t his fault, I don’t want him to blame himself” Purpled snapped, not wanting to hold a conversation right now.
“Alright then” Tubbo said, his feelings didn’t seem particularly hurt but Purpled still felt bad.
“Sorry for snapping, it’s just a lot”
“Yeah, you’re angry at the world, I was like that at first” Tubbo reasoned “You don’t plan on waking up”
Purpled scoffed.
“Ranboo will probably be up soon” Tubbo said “They usually wake up at around six”
“It’s six?”
“Yeah,”
“How long have I been here?”
“Well they brought you in a couple hours ago but usually your taken into hospital before that”
“Oh,” Purpled realised that his attempt was probably last night and the turn around was very fast. “Is there anything else to do around here or do we just sit in bed all day?” He attempted to change the topic of conversation.
“Well, there’s the table” Tubbo gestured to the table pushed up against the windows, it had four chairs but looked depressing “But there is a rec room, they give you the option to eat there and they run two activities a day but they are kind of aimed at kids a bit younger than us, but there is a switch in there”
“Does it have good games?”
“I don’t know, I’ve only been in there once, these make it hard to move around” Tubbo raised a bandaged arm.
“Do they let you move around then?”
“Yeah, but you’ll probably be stuck here for a day or two, when they brought you in you had an IV full of blood, so you probably aren’t strong enough” Tubbo added matter of factly.
“Will I ever talk to the other two?” Purpled couldn't help but ask.
“Yeah, Ranboo’s usually quite chatty when they aren’t hibernating, and if Tommy’s in the mood he can be quite funny”
Movement came from Ranboo’s bed and a head of black and white split dyed hair emerged from the bedsheets.
“Morning” Tubbo chirped.
“Is it dinner time?” Ranboo asked, their voice thick with sleep.
“Yeah, food will be here soon” Tubbo replied “We have a new roommate”
Ranboo pushed themself up to a sitting position. This kid was tall and wore a face mask covering their lower face.
“Hey,” Purpled commented.
“Hi, you are?”
“Purpled”
“Well, welcome in Purpled, you’ll hate it here as much as we do”
“It’s not that bad” Tubbo contradicted.
“We’re all on suicide watch Tubbo, its bad”
Purpled snorted.
“Finally someone appreciates my jokes”
“Most people don’t joke about attempting to kill themselves,” Tubbo huffed.
“I do,” Ranboo added.
“Same here,” Purpled said “I mean if it didn’t work I might as well make fun of my failure”
“This guy gets it,” Ranboo added.
“You-” Tubbo started but was interrupted by the food trolley being wheeled in.
The nurse handling it started at Ranboo’s bed, putting a tray on the table, she got all the way around to Purpled. Purpled noticed the sympathetic look she gave them all and chose to ignore it. He didn’t want sympathy or pity, he didn’t need it. The food was bad, it was hospital food so he hadn’t expected much, he ate it anyway. Not too long later a duffel bag of his belongings was brought in. He rummaged through it pulling out some sweatpants and a hoodie to change into as well as his laptop, phone, headphones and Dogchamp.
“Can I just go to the bathroom or do I need to tell someone?” he asked Tubbo and Ranboo.
“Your bed is probably alarmed so I’d call for someone” Tubbo responded.
“Learnt that one the hard way,” Ranboo sighed.
Purpled studied the remote on his bed finding the option to call a nurse, it let out a buzz and he could hear a ringing noise through the double doors at the end of the ward. Moments later a nurse came in, it was James again, Purpled guessed he be seeing a lot of him.
“What is it?” he asked.
“Can I go to the bathroom? Tubbo said I should ring”
“Don’t rope me in” Tubbo called out in response.
The nurse cracked a smile “Let me disable the bed alarm and we’ll see how stable you are on your feet” he said before moving to a control panel at the bottom of the bed.
The nurse messed with it for a second before returning to the side of the bed and pulling the side barrier down.
“See how you feel getting up,” he encouraged.
Purpled swung his legs over the edge of the bed and rested his feet on the floor. He stood up slowly but still felt an overwhelming dizziness causing him to grip onto the bedside table, after it passed he was fine. Blinking the dark spots out of his vision he noticed the nurse prepped and ready to catch him.
“I’m all good” Purpled confirmed, frowning before moving forward. He did feel slightly like he was walking on clouds but he could do it.
“Alright, I’ll walk with you to the bathroom, you don’t know where it is anyway”
It felt slightly patronising, whilst he was in a weakened state he hated feeling weak, hated that the nurse was monitoring him like a foal finding its feet for the first time. He knew how to do this; he didn't need someone preparing to catch him. The bathroom wasn’t far and Purpled was glad to change into his own clothes. The nurse waited outside and when he was back in his bed the alarm was put back on.
Tommy had his headphones off which surprised Purpled slightly.
“Hey” Tommy nodded towards him his blue eyes catching on Purpled's purple ones.
“Hey” Purpled responded, not sure how to talk to this guy yet.
Tommy seemed fine leaving the conversation there. Tubbo was back paying attention to his laptop and Ranboo was very invested in what looked to be a notebook. So Purpled connected his headphones to his laptop and pulled up Guardians of the Galaxy to watch. The movie kept him occupied. When he was done Tommy still seemed conversational so he tried to communicate with the blonde.
“Do they always leave the doors open?” he asked.
“No, but considering they’d been waiting all day for you to wake up they left them open” Tommy replied.
“Oh, what were you listening to?”
“Earlier?” Tommy asked. Purpled nodded “I was listening to the amazing Bruce Springsteen”
“I have never heard of him,” Purpled admitted.
“Well you are missing out, what do you listen to?”
“Kendrick Lamar, The Weeknd, Tame Impala, that kind of music” he summarised.
“I’ll have to improve your music taste,” Tommy added teasingly a soft smile lighting up his previously upset face.
“It does not need improving”
“Sure” Tommy scoffed “Tell me your movie taste is better”
“I like Marvel”
“You are a basic white boy aren’t you”
“Hey, most basic white boys don’t try to off themselves” he defended.
Tommy let out an aggressive laugh. It was loud and a joy filled sound, his eyes scrunching up.
“How’d you get him to laugh that hard?” Tubbo asked.
“It’s the suicide jokes Tubbo, they work” Ranboo commented.
“Ranboob’s right,” Tommy added.
“That’s not my name,” Ranboo reprimanded.
The group of teens' laughter was interrupted by a nurse sticking their head into the room.
“Lights out in ten boys”
“Not a boy” Ranboo called back, the nurse however didn’t seem to care.
“Asshole” Tubbo commented.
“Yeah, let’s misgender the kid who decided to off themselves from gender dysphoria,” Ranboo joked.
“So we are trauma dumping” Purpled commented.
“No Ranboo’s trauma dumping” Tubbo said.
“Well, they put a kid who tried to end his life in a hospital, even though being in hospitals were the reason he did it in the first place” Tommy commented.
“Damn, I have nothing to add,” Purpled said dejected.
“Tell us in the same format” Tommy encouraged.
“Um, they encourage me to make friends with suicidal kids even though the reason I tried to kill myself was because my friend died” Purpled concluded.
“Tubbo’s turn” Ranboo chimed.
“They don’t let the kid who tried to kill himself due to self isolation leave the room he’s been assigned to”
“Wow, we’re practically best friends already,” Tommy smirked.
The lights cut out after he finished his sentence.
“Well goodnight everyone except Ranboo” Tubbo said.
“Night,” Tommy replied.
“Sleep enough,” Purpled added.
“That’s a good one,” Ranboo commented. From what Purpled could see there was a faint glow of some sort of technological device lighting up their face.
Purpled turned to face away from the light and eventually fell back asleep he was still tired even after sleeping most of the day away. He didn’t expect to wake up to yelling.
“I’ve told you I won’t tell you!” the first voice yelled.
“We are here to help you”
“You aren’t doing a good enough job are you because the entire time I’ve been here I’ve only wanted to kill myself more” Purpled had managed to pinpoint the voice to Tommy.
“If you would communicate to us we would be able to help you Tom”
“Fuck off, just leave me alone alright” Tommy seethed, his body language juxtaposing his tone as he was curled in on himself like a scared animal.
Scanning the room that was dim with the light from the sunrise he noticed Ranboo deeply engaged in whatever was on their phone headphones plugged into their ears. Tubbo was laying there definitely not asleep but pretending to be, he was curled in on himself. Purpled wasn’t fussed about yelling, obviously the others were.
“Good morning to you too,” Purpled commented bringing the attention away from an obviously distressed Tommy.
“Good morning Purpled” the guy Tommy was arguing with replied.
“Who are you?”
“Doctor Davies, the ward’s therapist” he replied.
“I’ll agree with Tommy, I also do not want to talk to you” Purpled added.
“That is a part of your care here”
“I know, you’ve got to try to convince us that we have shit to live for etcetera, etcetera but personally I don’t think a couple of conversations and maybe some pills are really gonna fix the issue” he said dryly.
“The aim isn’t to fix, it’s to learn to cope”
“You can cope all you like until something makes you spiral and then your back to square one” Purpled summed up “I know how it works”
Doctor Davies left after that.
“Asshole,” Purpled muttered.
“Thanks for dealing with him” Tommy said “He forces you to talk to him after you’ve woken up from a bad dream and the only thing I want to do is regulate myself and go back to bed”
“Sounds like a nightmare” he agreed.
“Sorry for yelling” Tommy added “It’s how I deal with shit”
“Maybe don’t do it at five thirty in the morning” Tubbo commented “I love to think I’m waking up in my dad’s house when he’s drunk out of his mind, real comforting memories”
“I’ll keep the yelling until everyone’s awake then” Tommy tried to lighten the situation.
“Well I’m going back to bed, no one wake me up” Purpled huffed, settling back down and pulling his sheets up to his chin.
He’d expected to get a couple more hours of sleep in but woke up whilst the sun was still rising with a tight chest, not the anxiety type. It felt like something was blocking his lungs making each breath sharp and painful. He could hear the sound of someone calling for a nurse, his vision swam until he fell back into a state of unconsciousness. When he woke up again he could barely remember the previous events, but it all flowed back to him when a monotonous beeping filled his head and his throat felt sore. He felt a breathing tube in his nose and something tugging on the cannula in his hand.
“Nice to see you breathing,” Tubbo commented.
Purpled used the bed remote bringing himself to a sitting position.
“What happened exactly?”
“Well, I woke up to Ranboo screaming for a nurse and you asphyxiating” Tubbo shrugged. “A bunch of nurses piled in and curtains were pulled around you, apparently your lungs decided they didn’t want to work anymore, something about water”
“Shit, that unfortunately makes sense” he commented “The drowning must’ve worked to an extent”
“Thanks for that detail” Tubbo winced.
A nurse was soon to enter the room, it was James from yesterday. He made his way over to Purpled.
“Nice to see you up kid”
“Yeah, yeah, what happened?”
“Well, there was leftover water in your lungs and you essentially started to drown” he explained “We managed to stabilise your oxygen levels but you will likely need an operation to remove the water in your lungs otherwise you will keep having episodes like you did last night”
“Oh, does Punz know?”
“Yes, he’s been informed and he’s happy for you to have the operation if you agree” the nurse started “But, because you are on psych hold any medical decision that has your life in the balance you don’t get a say in, so Punz has all decisional power, we informed of this and he still wants us to go ahead with the op”
“Great, I still have decisional capacity, you know?”
“Cognitively yes, but mentally you are compromised because of suicidal thoughts” the nurse explained.
“So when am I having this op?”
“We have you scheduled in for this afternoon, it’s a short operation with minimal recovering so you should be only out for a few hours”
“Ok then, thanks for telling me I guess”
The nurse offered a tight lipped smile before leaving.
“Even your own body wants you to die” Ranboo commented.
The room dissolved into laughter, it didn’t settle the knot of anxiety in Purpled’s stomach though. Whether the anxiety stemmed from the operation or the fact that he was so close to death he didn’t know but it was there and he felt it until he passed out under anaesthesia until the feeling of being moments before death overwhelmed him again.
He felt a strange sense of deja vu waking up in the ward again. This time however all of the others were sat up, not talking to each other but awake and somewhat responsive, it must be the evening due to Ranboo’s upside down schedule. The breathing tube was still on, that was annoying.
“Good morning” Ranboo said, they were the first to acknowledge Purpled’s conscious state.
“Morning to you, it’s actually nearly eight” Tubbo replied “I think they planned for you to hopefully sleep through the night”
“Well, I didn’t” Purpled sighed “I think I’ll be joining Ranboo for the night shift”
“Night shift’s fun” Ranboo started “You get to hear the occasional screams as people wake up from whatever hellscape their brain has put them in”
“Really looking forward to it” Purpled rolled his eyes.
A couple of hours of Minecraft later with all four teens managing to defeat the Ender Dragon (Tommy died several times and was useless in the Nether, Ranboo would not stop angering endermen in the end, Tubbo kept yelling at them all to get their act together and Purpled was the only one to not die once) Tubbo and Tommy went to bed, Purpled stayed up with Ranboo.
“You’ve kind of gotten everyone to talk,” Ranboo commented.
“Have I?” Purpled frowned.
“Yeah, you’ve got good dark humour and kind of broke the boundaries we were scared to even go near”
“Suicide jokes are funny, especially when they are relatable”
“Yesterday, when you had a go at Doctor Davies you said you know how it works, not to push but what did you mean?”
“My friend Walli, he went through this whole system, not from a suicide attempt but school counsellor referred him to the psych ward” Purpled explained “He came out worse off then when he went in, that’s why he committed”
“Sorry man”
“Systems like these don’t work” Purpled added “I didn’t have any mental health issues, not until after Walli died, his note he left me fucked with my head”
“I’m assuming you two were close” Ranboo said tentatively.
“Yeah, we’ve lived down the road from each other our whole lives”
“Tell me about him” Ranboo urged on.
“Walli, he like Pokemon a lot, he was the one who made me get a Minecraft account, the only reason I play Minecraft in the first place” Purpled chuckled “His Minecraft character was a bear so I’d buy him bear themed stuff for Christmas and his birthdays as a joke, well I didn’t buy them Punz did”
“Punz is your brother?”
“Yeah, he’s been looking after me since I was seven” Purpled said “My parents weren’t always there, they weren’t abusive just negligent”
“Negligence is abuse you know”
“Sure” Purpled shrugged “What about your family?”
“Well, things were fine until I came out as non binary and said I liked men and then things weren’t good” Ranboo joked “I’m in the foster system now, since my attempt because my family were the direct cause”
“That's shitty”
“Most of us have some sort of shitty family life going on,” Ranboo replied.
“Oh,”
“Well, Tubbo’s been open about his drunk dad, he lives with his aunt, well he will when he gets out” Ranboo said “And we just assume about Tommy, his family come to see him all the time but he ignores them, we think they are foster family but we aren’t sure, he's pretty secretive”
"I feel like I have the best of a bad hand" Purpled said.
Ranboo chuckled.
"We're all here at the end of the day" Ranboo commented.
"I suppose we are" Purpled agreed.
He sat in silence for a bit before deciding he was going to try to sleep.
"I'm gonna sleep, I'm still tired"
"Alright" Ranboo nodded.
The next morning shortly after Purpled had woken up Doctor Davies was in the room. He was headed straight for Purpled, only stopping to pull the curtains around Purpled's bed closed.
"We haven't had a chance to talk yet" he started.
"I think we did talk" Purpled said "I remember telling you that I didn't want anything to do with you, is that ringing any bells"
"Why is that?"
"Why?" Purpled scoffed "I don't need therapy, I'm not going to kill myself again, my success rate is zero percent those aren't good odds"
Doctor Davies exhaled "You aren't allowed to leave until I sign you off"
"Great," Purpled sighed "Here we go, I feel great, I don't plan on killing myself again, is that enough?"
"We'll talk another time" Doctor Davies said leaving Purpled's bedside and beginning to open the curtains.
"I'm looking forward to it"
Once Doctor Davies left Tubbo spoke up.
"He's not that bad you know"
"Sure" Purpled shrugged "I just want out of here"
"You won't get it until you get better"
"I am better, I tried, it failed, I won't try again"
"No one believes you" Tommy added.
Purpled ignored them for the rest of the morning only tuning back into his surroundings when Tommy's visitors showed up. Tommy wasn't happy about it his blue eyes lacking their usual sparkle when he was feeling somewhat positive. There were three of them, a blonde, a pink haired guy and guy with an obnoxiously yellow sweater. They chatted for a while Purpled only tuning in when their voices got louder.
"Tommy, we are here for you" the blonde started.
"I don't want you here" Tommy replied "You aren't my family so stop pretending to be"
"Dad, I told you it was a waste of time" yellow sweater guy said.
"Wilbur" blonde hair sighed "Go wait in the car"
Wilbur didn't leave.
"I brought you the book I was reading last week, Theseus" the pink haired guy said, dropping a book onto Tommy's bed, he was stood on the other side of the bed to his family.
"Thanks Tech" Tommy replied.
Tommy at least had a positive relationship with one of the people there. It was interesting. Purpled zoned out from the half argument half conversation instead he hopped onto Minecraft and onto a random hardcore server to mess around, he got bored pretty quick.
"Hey, Tubbo, do you want to join me on Minecraft, it's hardcore?" he asked across the room. The people with Tommy looked over to Purpled.
"Sure" Tubbo nodded, he looked happy about the invitation.
"You're new" Wilbur stated, taking Purpled's words as some sort of sign that he wanted to converse, he didn't.
"Yeah, and what about it?"
"Just noticing" Wilbur shrugged.
"Tommy, do you want to join us?" Purpled asked.
"Sure, what's the IP?"
Purpled recited the IP out once Tommy had pulled open his laptop.
Coincidentally, the people there to visit Tommy wrapped up there visit. They got onto playing Minecraft until they were interrupted by nurses.
The same nurse, James, Purpled had been repeatedly seeing came over to check on him, another over to Tubbo. James pulled the curtains around Purpled's bed for privacy.
"How are you fairing kid?" he asked.
"I'm fine" Purpled replied.
"Good, hopefully we shouldn't have any more issues" the nurse continued "I think we should be good to take the breathing tube out now"
"Thank god, this thing is annoying" Purpled complained.
The nurse took it out for him, observed his vitals before nodding.
"It's looking good, you're looking good physically, you should be up and about soon" the nurse said "Just want to be cautious with your stamina and possible muscle weakness"
"Good, I'm sick of sitting around"
"Now worst part, bandage change" the nurse said "You don't have to look"
"It's fine" Purpled dismissed the concern.
The absence of bandages revealed the long stitched up cuts on Purpled's fore arms. The nurse wiped them clean with some sort of antiseptic before re bandaging them.
"The stitches will probably come out soon" James informed him.
Once James had finished and left Purpled's bedside revealing his section of the ward back to the other three members, he noticed Tubbo was gone.
"He's in physio" Tommy replied "The scars limit his movement"
"Oh, thanks for telling me" Purpled nodded.
Silence for a second before Purpled mustered the courage to ask a question to Tommy. Talking to him made him slightly nervous, he couldn't pinpoint why quite yet.
"Who are the people who come to see you?" he asked cautiously.
"It's difficult to explain" Tommy said.
"I've got nothing else to do, so you might as well explain" Purpled said.
"Well, Techno is my stepbrother" Tommy started "He was my mum's kid"
"Ok" Purpled nodded.
"Well, my dad is my dad and Wilbur is my bio brother" Tommy explained "But I always got on best with my mum and Techno, Wilbur has always been either really distant or too close, dad, Phil, he didn't care too much for me, but my mum and Techno they care"
"Makes sense"
"My mum's dead" Tommy said "She died a year ago, was in hospital for a while before, that's why I was in hospitals a lot, they bring up bad memories"
"I'm sorry"
"You have nothing to be sorry about" Tommy shrugged "After she died, well the divide in my family was less of a divide, Techno started to get along with Phil, they treat each other like friends, it's weird, but no one really helped me grieve, that's what resulted in me being here" Tommy sighed "I kept dreaming of it, my mum dying that is and it threw me, I was caught standing on the ledge of a bridge near me by the police, I didn't get the cha-" he let out an awkward chuckle "I don't know why I'm telling you this, I barely know you"
"Sometimes you need to tell someone" Purpled replied.
"I guess"
"We could go trauma for trauma if you want?" Purpled suggested "Some people feel better about it like that"
"Sure, trauma dump on me" Tommy said with a glimpse of a smile on his face the sparkle in his eyes returning.
"My best friend killed himself, the letter he left made me question everything, the things he said about himself, about why he wanted to kill himself really fucking resonated and I thought that maybe it was a good idea" Purpled started before shaking his head "I don't know what I was thinking really, I was grieving and everything sounds more logical when you're grieving and then I'm in the bathroom after telling my brother good night with a kitchen knife and a bath tub full of water"
"Fuck, that sounds awful"
"It was kinda impulsive, I mean I hadn't thought it out too much and kinda decided to do it the evening of" Purpled said "I don't think I would do it again, when I almost died again the other day it scared the shit out of me, I just- I don't know, ignore me"
"You'll be alright, if that's what you want" Tommy said.
Their conversation was disrupted by Tommy being summoned into Doctor Davies' office for therapy. Purpled would probably be next, lucky him. But for now with no people in here for entertainment he decided to pick up the book he'd asked Punz to bring and then completely neglected. He'd only gotten a couple chapters through when in came Doctor Davies and Tommy who refused to look at him.
"Purpled, I think we need to have a talk"
Fuck.
Purpled was forced into actually going into Doctor Davies' office. Tommy had definitely said something about their conversation. It took a while to get there, it was down the hall, Purpled refused to use a wheelchair, he was going to walk, and he didn't want help even if his legs felt like they were going to collapse. He was eventually situated in Doctor Davies' office.
"So, I had a chat with Tommy and he mentioned a conversation you two had"
Purpled scowled.
"He didn't tell me anything personal about you, but I definitely think we need to talk" Doctor Davies continued "And you need to be honest,"
"What did Tommy say?"
"Patient confidentiality, I can't tell you"
"Not even the part about me?"
"Fine," Davies sighed "He only mentioned that you are scared of dying again, would you care to elaborate?"
"When my lungs stopped working and I woke up after it, I was scared," Purpled admitted "I was scared of dying"
"Why do you think this is?"
"Because I impulsively tried to kill myself" Purpled continued "I didn't meticulously plan it out I made the decision that I was going to do it and then attempted twenty minutes later, I decided that enough was enough and that was it" he started to rant.
"Can you think of any factors that may have caused this?"
"You know what caused it, you have my file, Punz would've told you about it all" Purpled ranted.
"So it's to do with your friend Walli"
"Of course it is! It wasn't Punz, it wasn't bullying, it wasn't even my neglectful parents, losing your best friend and reading his suicide letter can fuck you up pretty bad you know?" Purpled was on the verge of yelling, the volume of his voice rising "And the reason he's dead is because of a stupid system like this, because it doesn't fucking work, the moment he got out of the psych ward he wrote that letter to me and killed himself alright, I didn't even get to see him after he got out"
"I'm sorry about that Purpled, It seems like your reasoning is coming from a place of anger" Davies said "I think from what you are telling me is that you didn't want to die"
"How do you know that?"
"Punz said you called out for him, called for help, that's why he found you and when you reflect back it seems like pent up emotions and rash decisions ultimately lead to you doing what you did" Davies said "And you have showed minimal regret at points"
"I called out for Punz?"
"That's what he informed the hospital staff, but I think that we should bring that up when Punz joins us for a session at some point"
"So I have to sit with this information now"
"It might be a good thing to sit with" Davies nodded "Now, the next step we want to see from you is moving around again, the blood loss and lung issues has made you weaker but you should be fine in that department in a couple of days, I think that moving around the hospital maybe with your ward-mates will be good for you all"
Purpled zoned out. He called out for Punz, why couldn't he remember that? He remembered Punz barging in, almost breaking down the door. He could remember the pink tint to the bath water.
He was glad to leave the office.
Tubbo was back in the ward and Ranboo was awake. Ranboo was also sitting on Tubbo's bed, as was Tommy a card game splayed out on the mattress.
"Welcome back" Tubbo said as Purpled re-entered the ward.
"We're playing uno care to join?" Ranboo added "Well actually you are joining I woke up for this"
Purpled chuckled but took the chair that sat at Tubbo's bedside and joined in. They played a couple rounds of normal uno and they went chaotically.
"Tubbo if you have a red card I am going to throw myself out of the window" Tommy said as he placed down a red seven.
"I haven't" Tubbo said, one card in his hand "I do have a pick up four though, so Ranboo pick up four change colour to yellow"
"I don't have any yellow!" Tommy yelled.
"You shouldn't have been so vocal about it" Purpled commented.
"You're out already, you won, ugh, everyone is pitted against me"
"I have to pick up four cards, shut up" Ranboo muttered, they begrudgingly collected their four cards.
The round ended with Tommy winning and rubbing it into Ranboo's face.
"Have you seen that TikTok trend where you play uno and try to get away with cheating? We should do that" Tubbo suggested.
"Oh I'm so gonna win" Tommy boasted.
He lost all three rounds.
He got caught cheating every time.
It was hilarious.
"Lights out in five" a nurse informed them.
"Purpled do you want help getting to your bed?" Tommy asked.
Purpled for once decided he was going to accept the help.
"Sure"
Something about Tommy helping him without directly making him feel weak was nice. It was also nice that Tommy offered him a smile and squeezed his hand before leaving his bedside. Purpled watched as Tommy made his way to his own bed. They made a last moment of eye contact before lights were out and the room was plunged in darkness bare Ranboo's phone. Tommy stubbed his toe on the way back to his bed, he complained loudly about it.
The next few days saw Purpled get up and about again. He would complete laps around the ward then eventually around the hallway, accompanied by Tommy more often then not. With Tommy came endless conversation about stupid things such as what one food would you eat for the rest of your life and more serious stuff like Tommy's relationship with his family and Purpled's feelings surrounding Walli's death. It was character building.
Purpled also got the stitches out of his arms, long pink scars ran down the length of his forearms. He opted for long sleeves more often than not, he didn't want to look at them.
"We should do a movie night" Tubbo suggested rather out of the blue.
"What movie would we watch?" Tommy asked.
"I don't know, but the rec room has a TV surely we could use it at like eight tonight" Tubbo said.
"Sounds alright" Purpled agreed "I can go and ask if you want"
"Sure" Tubbo responded.
So Purpled abandoned his phone and got up from the chair he was sat in and made his way out to the nurse hub, the large desk in the middle of the kids psych hold floor. James was on duty, James was always on duty.
"Hey Purpled, what's up?" James asked, dragging himself and the spinny chair across the space over to where Purpled was stood.
"Tubbo requested a movie night for our ward in the rec room" Purpled said "At like eight so the little kids won't be there and it will be out of the way from usual use time"
"That sounds great, I don't think there is anything going on in there" James replied "I'll get back to you about it, we do only have kids movies though"
"That's fine, thanks" Purpled offered a small smile and returned to the ward. "We've been approved for a movie night"
"Good" Tubbo nodded.
Purpled returned to his section of the ward, picked up his phone to see a message from Punz.
Punz: coming up now
Purpled: ok
Punz: in like 30 minutes we are talking with the therapist guy
Purpled: dont remind me
Punz was up shortly after. Purpled hadn't seen him since the first day he was brought here.
"Hey, your looking better" Punz said.
"Feeling it as well" Purpled replied, he felt awkward "Do you wanna go for a walk?"
"If you want to"
"Yeah" Purpled didn't want whatever emotion filled conversation he was about to have be broadcasted to the rest of the room.
They set off into the main body of the hospital arguably less private, but anyone passing them would only catch glimpses of conversation.
"So how are things?" Punz asked warily.
"They're fine, I get along with everyone, I've had time to think, recover you know"
"You still feel that way?"
"No, I don't think I ever really did, I think it was some stupid rash decision" Purpled defended.
"Oh, okay"
"I meant what I said on that first day, that you have nothing to do with why I did what I did, I really want you to know that"
"I have a feeling it was something to do with Walli"
His name still stung.
"Yeah, it was,"
Silence encompassed them, the buzz of hospital noises was filling it.
"The neighbours are moving out" Punz said "The ones with the big trees in their yard"
"Hmm," Purpled offered.
"Hannah came round asking after you"
"Oh," Purpled had forgot about his other friends if he was honest, he'd been do caught up in this whole situation it'd slipped his mind.
"And 80 called the house" Punz added.
"They, they don't know do they?"
"No, I said you were taking some time away from school, that you were up with family in the mountains"
Purpled chuckled "I do feel bad, they lost a friend as well, I should tell them"
"Don't feel bad about not telling them," Punz said "I mean, they need to sort their own feelings out, maybe letting them know what happened isn't the best option for you and them"
"Oh, okay" Purpled replied awkwardly.
After another pause in conversation Punz started rambling about some movie and the meaningless small talk was a welcomed by Purpled. They did finish their walk out by Doctor Davies' office. Purpled knocked, he was familiar with Davies now, he'd been having regular sessions as did everyone, and he had determined the guy wasn't that bad.
"Come in" he said, Purpled opened the door and headed in to take his usual seat, the armchair closest to the wall.
Punz took the other one watching as his brother curled into the chair.
"How are we both doing today?" Davies asked.
"I'm fine" Punz responded.
"Nervous but fine"
"James mentioned you and your friends have organised a movie night tonight" Davies said.
"Yeah, I'm looking forward to it" Purpled replied.
"Good, now you know, I'm not here to talk about movies" Davies said "The next step in Purpled's time here is to address the attempt"
"I'm really looking forward to this" Purpled added sarcastically in an attempt to lighten the mood.
"We'll only be focusing on things you both feel comfortable discussing with each other, you both cover other areas in solo sessions-"
"You're seeing a therapist?" Purpled asked Punz, interrupting Davies.
"It was recommended when you came in here," Punz said "I did see the aftermath of you trying to kill yourself"
Purpled sat with the information for a second before asking the question which had been burning in his mind since his first session with Davies.
"I called out for you" he said "What did I say? I don't remember any of it, I don't know what I said"
"You, you called my name, directly called for me and asked for help, said you didn't want to die yet" Punz stumbled over the words.
"Oh" was the only thing Purpled could respond with.
Davies cut in "Purpled, I think it would be useful for you to discuss how you feel about the whole situation"
"I-" he paused "Fuck, I think I wanted for the grief to end, stuff Walli wrote in his letter resonated with me and I just wanted it all to be over, I didn't want to have to grief my best friend and I was irrational because I don't want to die, I never did I just wanted the grief to be over I didn't want to deal with it, and it's stupid really"
"It's not stupid" Davies encouraged "Grief can make us do irrational and impulsive things"
"You could have come to me for help" Punz said "I wanted you to, I regret that I wasn't directly there for you, I should've made you talk about with me instead of just accepting that you were coping"
"It's not your fault"
"I could have prevented it"
"Alright, let's not argue about the past, it can't be undone, we need to focus on moving forward" Davies said "I feel like we are at a point in Purpled's time here where we have moved on from addressing the suicidal feelings we are now looking at coping, specifically with the grief and the guilt linked to it"
"That's good right?" Punz frowned.
"Yes, we are reaching the latter half of his time here" Davies replied.
Purpled wasn't aware of that.
"We do encourage you to find a therapist for him when he goes home" Davies nodded "Thank you for coming in today"
"Of course" Punz nodded.
They left the office.
"That's good that you'll be home soon" Punz said.
"Yeah, it is"
"I'll see you next week" Punz said.
Purpled nodded, Punz brought him into a tight but short hug and then they were going in separate directions.
When Purpled returned to the ward Tommy wasn't there.
"Tommy's in therapy, he just left" Tubbo said spotting Purpled staring at the empty bed.
Tubbo was sat in a chair though, with significantly less bandaging.
"You're out of bed!"
"Yeah, physio removed most of my bandages, I can actually move around now" Tubbo said cheerfully "The skin is just a bit tight where it's healing"
"That's good" Purpled moved to take a seat on the edge of Tubbo's unoccupied bed.
"How was time with your brother?" he asked.
"Good, we talked a lot, it was a lot but in a good way I think"
"Well that's good at least, my aunt came when you were gone and said that she thought your plushy was cute"
"Ranboo mentioned your aunt to me the other day" Purpled recalled.
"Yeah, she's great" Tubbo smiled "I'm gonna be living with her once I get out of here, I'm really looking forward to it actually, she has an older kid Foolish and he's really good at building in Minecraft, he's majoring in architecture in college at the moment"
"That sounds cool" Purpled smiled.
"Yeah, it feels like my life is kinda turning around" Tubbo nodded "I thought I'd die in that fire, I was going to let myself as well"
"I'm glad your here, you're a good friend" Purpled offered.
"Thanks, you too"
Tommy returned immediately after, presumably after storming out of therapy, it happened more often than not. He flopped aggressively onto his bed immediately curling into himself.
"Tommy, you alright?" Purpled asked.
"No, of course I'm not fucking alright" he cursed "I fucking hate this place, I don't want to be here, I just want to go home, but it's not like that place is any better" he yelled.
Tubbo caught Purpled's eye.
Purpled offered a short nod and approached Tommy.
He sat on Tommy's bed, placed a hand near where Tommy's laid. Tommy took it squeezing it tightly.
"I just want my mum" Tommy whispered.
"I'm sorry"
Tommy said nothing.
Purpled sat there holding his hand, rubbing the back of Tommy's hand with his thumb. It was an intimate moment it felt like it was only the two of them in the room despite the blaring fluorescent lights and the fact that Tubbo was definitely watching them.
After a minute Tommy sniffed before releasing Purpled's hand and sitting up. His eyes red like he'd been crying, he probably had.
"I should go back to therapy" he laughed wetly.
"You did leave five minutes into you're forty minute session" Purpled said.
"Thanks" Tommy replied, he left the ward.
"Gay" Tubbo said from across the ward.
"Shut up, I'm not gay" Purpled joked.
"Liar, you just sat there and held his hand then he agreed to go back to therapy, he's never done that" Tubbo said.
"That doesn't make it gay"
Tubbo chuckled after a second he spoke again "You are gay though right, don't tell me I assumed wrong, I'm usually good at this stuff"
"Yeah I'm gay"
"I knew it, Ranboo owes my ten bucks"
"You were betting on me"
"Not you specifically, I just said that the next person in would be gay, Ranboo disagreed, said the chances of all four of us being gay in someway is statistically impossible" Tubbo rambled.
"We are all gay?" Purpled questioned "I knew Ranboo was"
"Jesus, you are unobservant, I like men, Tommy's bi" Tubbo replied.
"Oh, that's cool I guess" Purpled shrugged.
"Wait, have you seen the new Minecraft update" Tubbo sidetracked the conversation.
They ended up talking about the Minecraft update, then Minecraft in general until Tommy came back, he joined into the conversation which turned towards live music, eventually Ranboo woke up and spiralled the conversation down the routes of analog horror. They all ate dinner around Tubbo's bed. Tubbo still sat in his chair. Tommy perched at the top of the pillows, Ranboo curled up at the end of the bed and Purpled took the gap in between them. Then came movie time. A different nurse collected them all and told them they could watch one movie.
The rec room was uncomfortable looking, it was obviously aimed for younger kids, the bright murals on the walls, the toys around the room, a couple of tables, then the TV and two couches. The couches were a plastic-leathery texture one bright green the other cyan, whilst they picked the movie, Tommy decided to go and grab blankets and sheets from the ward for them.
"These movies are ass" Tubbo complained from where he sat on one of the couches, he had a pile of DVDs in front of him that he was looking through.
"They aren't that bad, they are just aimed at kids" Ranboo said sorting through their own pile"
"Find me a good one and I'll agree" Tubbo huffed.
"I found Coraline" Ranboo declared triumphantly.
"I have never watched Coraline" Purpled said glad to surrender looking through his pile.
"It's a good film for a kids film" Ranboo said.
Tommy returned with blankets and snacks, snacks that looked suspiciously not like his.
"I raided your guys' stuff, we needed good snacks" he said dumping the blankets and snacks next to Purpled "We're watching Coraline, that's a good film"
"See" Ranboo said.
"Get comfy" Purpled said, patting the spot on the couch next to him.
Tommy flopped down, rummaging through the pile of blankets and snacks, tossing a few over to Tubbo per the other boys request. Ranboo messed with the DVD player until the home screen for the movie popped up. Then they grabbed their stuff from the pile and sat with Tubbo. Purpled shared a blanket with Tommy a bag of Doritos in between them. The movie started up.
Purpled couldn't tell if the movie was good or not, he watched the first half or so before getting distracted. His hand kept brushing Tommy's whether it was reaching into the Doritos bag or just by pure coincidence. Well he thought it was coincidence until Tommy relaxed into Purpled's side, his head resting on Purpled's shoulder. Purpled was, well he was confused, he was meant to be here to get better, to cope with the death of his best friend not crush on a boy.
Tommy eventually moved his head onto Purpled's lap as a result of a large dramatic gesture that came about with a complaint about the movie. Purpled found himself enjoying what he had watched of the movie, he just chuckled at Tommy's actions. He returned his attention to the movie, his hand subconsciously slipping into Tommy's curls. Casing a glance around the room, Tubbo was asleep on the couch, sprawled out his legs on top of Ranboo who was cautiously removing them.
Ranboo left the room, mumbling something about the bathroom.
"You're hair is soft" Purpled said.
"Is it now"
"Uh huh"
"It used to be long, to match Techno's, I cut it short, when I did mum complained that she couldn't braid it, I'm trying to grow it out again, for her" Tommy said.
"I think that's good, doing something to honour her, keep her in your life" Purpled commented.
"How was your therapy session with your brother? You mentioned the other day that it was today" Tommy asked.
"It was good, it kinda broke down the awkward gap that formed when y'know"
"Yeah, I have one with Phil coming up soon" Tommy said "I told Davies that if I was having one with someone I'd want it to be with Techno"
"Why's that?"
"I want to fix our relationship, go back to what we had"
"There's always the chance to do that here, you can call him and stuff"
"I should"
The TV screen was glowing a blue tinge, it complimented Tommy's eyes making them shine. Purpled relaxed into the arm of the couch, he was closer to Tommy's face now. A smile crept onto Tommy's face.
"You're eyes are pretty" Purpled said impulsively.
"Thanks, so are yours, the purple is unique" Tommy smiled, his eyes scrunching up showing its authenticity.
"You smile more around me, well more genuinely"
"You're hard not to smile around" Tommy said "You're funny, sarcastic, I like that you aren't afraid to push the invisible boundaries we'd set up here"
"Thanks I guess"
Purpled pushed a strand of Tommy's hair back and let his hand run down Tommy's face to cup his jaw. He leaned in slightly closer before pulling away when he noticed movement in his peripheral.
"Sorry" Ranboo said "You can still kiss or whatever you were gonna do" they stumbled over the words.
"Kinda ruined the moment" Tommy said.
"I can leave" Ranboo offered sticking his thumb towards the door.
"Fuck it" Purpled closed the gap between him and Tommy for a split second.
The kiss was short and messy but it made Purpled smile, it made Tommy smile too.
"Finally" Tubbo said.
"I thought you were asleep" Purpled said.
"I wasn't but pretended to be when you called Tommy's hair soft" Tubbo teased "I thought you would finally get rid of the tension and kiss and you did!"
The movie had ended at this point the credits covering the screen.
"I'm going to bed" Tubbo declared, taking his time to stand up from the couch.
Tubbo left down the hall, Ranboo gathered theirs and Tubbo's stuff and followed. Purpled slung the blanket he and Tommy had been sharing over his arm. Tommy gathered up the snacks and shut the TV off. He initiated the grabbing of Purpled's hand, they returned to the ward. Purpled ended up in bed with Tommy's blanket covering him. It smelt mostly of Tommy and slightly of hospital laundry detergent. It was comforting.
Purpled must have slept in the next morning because Tommy and Tubbo were awake and busy when he woke up. He wrapped the blanket around him and gained a sense of his surroundings, Tommy was on the phone, the book Techno had given him open on his lap, he was smiling. Ranboo as usual was tucked up in bed asleep. Tubbo was typing feverishly on his phone.
"Morning" Purpled said once Tommy had noticed he was awake.
"Morning" Tommy smiled.
"Good morning" Tubbo replied still looking at his phone.
"What are you doing on your phone?"
"Filling out forms for Puffy to adopt me, because I'm seventeen they need my consent"
"Ah, makes sense"
"Bad thing I'm dyslexic so I'm struggling"
"I can help you, let me go to the bathroom first"
"Thanks"
Purpled got up gathered his clothes and toiletries and headed to the bathroom, he hated the bathrooms here, they didn't feel very private considering they were adjacent to a hallway. He bushed his teeth and started to get changed, when he was changing his shirt the scars on his arms caught his eyes.
He exhaled shakily and took a seat on the floor of the bathroom. He stared at the scars, memories flooding back. Running the bath, taking the knife to his arms, the feeling of suffocation. This time he remembered calling out, he remembered choking on the water as he called for help, his arms weak, he couldn't pull himself out. The heavy feeling of regret, why did he do it, he had plans with Hannah and 80 the next day, he was going to watch a movie that night, the blur of emotions and grief lead him to this and he felt stupid. He felt helpless.
He didn't realise how long he'd been in there until there was knocking on the door.
"Purpled, you alright?" It was Tommy "Do I need to get a nurse?"
"No, you don't, I-" he paused pushing himself up and unlocking the door.
Tommy took at as a cue to come in, he locked the door behind him before facing Purpled. His eyes darting to the scars before he sat down next to Purpled.
"I didn't think the first time I'd see you shirtless would be on the floor of a psych ward bathroom" Tommy said.
Purpled chuckled.
"Those are nasty scars"
"Thanks, did them myself"
"Does seeing them trigger something?" Tommy asked, his voice soft.
"I suppose so, It makes me feel regret, I remember the aftermath of it all more than actually doing any of it, it really says a lot" Purpled admitted.
"When I think about standing on the ledge of the bridge I still weigh it up, I think of being able to part from the grief, but I would also be parting from life, from music, movies, the sunset, good food, Techno, even Phil and Wilbur" he explained "I think that grief is something I can learn to live with, I don't know how long it will take to stop feeling the way I do but I can live with it for now"
"That's nice, I think your mom would want you to stick around"
"I think she would" Tommy nodded "I think Walli would want you to stick around"
"I think he would"
Tommy's hand moved to grab Purpled's, he lifted his arm up and pressed a light kiss on the back of his hand. Purpled rested his head onto Tommy's shoulder exhaling.
The moment in the bathroom acted as another boundary breaking moment, it brought a sense of confidence to Purpled, allowed him to relax into Tommy when they played card games as a group. Occasionally slipping the odd kiss when no one was paying attention. It was nice, it was something Purpled didn't realise he was missing until he had it.
Purpled was entering another session with Doctor Davies.
"Purpled, how are you today?"
"Great, I'm feeling good"
"Amazing," Davies smiled "I would like to be slightly unprofessional for a second, I have heard rumours from the nurses that maybe there's something going on between you and Tommy"
Purpled felt his cheeks heat up.
"It's not a bad thing, I just want to stress the importance of not relying on one another to keep your mental health positive" Davies nodded "I do think that you have been a great person for Tommy to rely on though,"
"Thanks"
"Now about you"
"About me"
"I think you are finally reaching a point that you have begun to cope with your grief" Davies started "You have opened up to speaking about Walli, this is important for you to help deal with the grief, I have felt like you have become a lot more mentally clear on the events and reasoning of your attempt, all things considered I would be happy discharging you at the end of the week"
"I thought I was going to be here for longer" Purpled frowned "I'm the first one on my ward to leave but the last to get there"
"Healing is very different for everyone, and you're experience with your attempt is different to others" Davies continued "I of course will refer to another therapist for you to see bi-weekly, just because you are leaving doesn't mean you have to cut off your friendships"
Purpled nodded "Punz knows this?"
"He knows about your discharge plans yes" Davies nodded "If there is anything you want to say now is a good opportunity"
"I- no I don't think there is"
"Alright then, you are done for today, I will continue to see you tomorrow and the day after then your discharge will be on Saturday as the day worked best for your brother"
"Thanks" Purpled replied.
He felt mixed feelings about leaving, whilst he was glad to be out of hospital, back at home with his friends, with his brother, he was also leaving his friends and Tommy.
"That was fast" Tommy said, when Purpled walked back into the ward.
"I'm being discharged on Saturday" he said.
He expected some sort of sadness in response but that's not what was given.
"That's great" Tubbo smiled "You better not stop talking to us though"
"I won't" a smile crept onto Purpled's face.
"We can still play Minecraft until we're all out, then we can hang out" Tubbo said "I mean we should all hopefully be out soon"
"Probably" Purpled agreed.
"You'll have to tell Boo when they wake up"
"Uh huh" Purpled nodded.
Tommy's silence was making him wary and it wasn't until that evening when he had a chance to address it. Ranboo was in therapy, Tubbo was in physio. Purpled walked over to Tommy's bed and sat on the end drawing Tommy's attention to him.
"Hey" Tommy said.
"I'm getting discharged"
"I know"
"I'm not leaving you behind, I'll visit on weekends if I need to, we can call we can text, we are all keeping up the Minecraft, you don't have to treat this like the end" Purpled said.
"Sorry, I just got in my own head about it"
"Don't be sorry about that it happens"
Tommy patted the bed next to him, moving himself over so that there was enough room for Purpled to sit next to him. Purpled filled the space.
"I don't know how long I'm gonna be in here"
"That's okay, again, I can visit" Purpled said "You need to take your time to heal properly"
"Hmm" Tommy hummed slouching into the bed.
Tommy picked up Purpled's hand and started playing with his fingers. Purpled chuckled fondly. Tommy eventually dropped his hand, Purpled slid down to lie next to him, turning to face him, they were close enough that their foreheads almost touched, the hospital beds weren't very big.
Purpled leaned in to gently kiss Tommy, cupping his jaw with his hand before resting his forehead on Tommy's. Tommy replied with another kiss. Purpled rolled to lay on his back. Tommy moved to relax his head on Purpled's chest. Purpled used his arm nearest to Tommy to pull the blonde in closer. They lay there in silence. Tommy's breathing slowed. He was sleeping. Purpled let his eyes close.
The next morning there was relentless teasing from Tubbo. And also a comment from nurses about not being allowed to sleep in the same bed. The next two days flew by. His therapy sessions were focused on coping at home as well as Davies telling about his new therapist. They had another movie night and watched Up per Tommy's request. Tommy finished the movie crying curled into Purpled's side, in later confessions it came up the Up was his mothers favourite movie. Then Saturday came, Punz was there in the morning, helped him pack his stuff up.
Punz had gone to fill out discharge papers. Purpled was saying goodbye.
He stopped off at Tubbo's bedside first.
"If you don't show up in the discord server on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday nights to play Minecraft we are going to have problems" Tubbo warned him through and awkward hug.
Purpled was an awkward guy and he was wary of Tubbo's burns.
Next was Ranboo who had stayed up into the morning to see him off. Ranboo wasn't one for hugs it spiked their dysphoria so they settled for a dap up.
"Thanks for the late night conversations" Ranboo said their eyes crinkling in a smile.
"Thanks for appreciating the suicide jokes" Purpled smiled back.
The hug with Tommy was long. Tommy didn't want to let go. Neither did Purpled.
"Message me whenever you want, I don't pay attention in school anyways" Purpled said.
"I will be taking advantage of that"
"Purpled come on" Punz said from the door way.
He detached himself from Tommy. Tommy initiated a short kiss (that Punz made him talk about on the ride home). Leaving him with a squeeze of the hand before Purpled waved goodbye and he was gone.
~Two months later~
"Punz I'm gonna be late, hurry up" Purpled called out into the house.
"Just text them" Punz said approaching the front door half a slice of toast in his hand.
"I told you we were leaving at ten"
The drive to the park was too long in Purpled's opinion, especially when he was running five minutes late. Luckily Punz was okay with speeding a couple times so they made it on time.
"Bye, see you in a couple hours"
To Purpled's mild surprise the group of four had managed to remain friends through everything. Tubbo was discharged a couple of days after Purpled, he'd been there the longest and the main thing keeping him there was his injuries so it wasn't too much of a surprise that when he got up and moving that he was out of there. Tommy and Ranboo were both discharged on the same day, well not technically, Ranboo was technically discharged four days before Tommy but the foster system was slow on getting him placement.
Purpled had been texting Tommy and calling him regularly. Hannah and 80 had bullied him about it. Speaking of Hannah and 80 he had told them what had happened, it took him a few weeks but they were glad he was still here, glad that he was better.
"Purpled!" Tubbo called out.
Tubbo's scars were significantly lighter as were Purpled's. Ranboo was stood next to Tubbo awkwardly, they had a tote bag filled with snacks on one shoulder. Tommy was yet to arrive. Well that's what Purpled thought. He was jumped on by Tommy shortly after the thought formed.
"Guess who?" Tommy said.
"Hmm, I don't know, Santa Claus"
"No, it's me" Tommy said resting his chin on Purpled's shoulder.
Purpled angled himself to kiss him.
"PDA, PDA" Tubbo called out.
"You are holding hands with Ranboo" Tommy said.
Oh, yeah, there was something going on between Tubbo and Ranboo, but no one was addressing it, that was fine.
"Come on, I saw that there's swings on the drive in" Tommy said "I want to go on the swings"
"Child" Purpled teased.
"Shut up" Tommy responded.
Purpled's hand was grabbed and he was pulled along by Tommy who had started running. The sun was beating down on them and they blended into the crowds of people, no one would know they met in a psych ward. They were just normal people enjoying a normal day and that was all Purpled could ask for.