Archive of Our Own

The world rebuilt itself surprisingly quickly following the events that had taken place a few years ago. Demolished cities were reconstructed, new landmarks were created, posts of remembrance were pitched, and humanity moved on– it stopped grieving.

While the brunt of the attack took place in Japan, the shockwaves of it extended far beyond– a butterfly effect, so to speak. Even so, despite the chaos that had ensued, despite how brutal the change had been for everyday life, society adapted swiftly and efficiently; it was unrelenting. 

And the ones who had a harder time adjusting? Well, they were left behind to figure it out on their own. Because with this new life, the ‘eat or be eaten’ mentality prevailed aggressively; displaying even an ounce of compassion was considered a weakness, and empathy, while scarce to begin with, was now nonexistent for the ones who were struggling.

But it was fine; order and rationality were on the rise, normality would proceed, life could go on as it once had, and the stragglers could band together to feel sorry for themselves if they needed to– but don’t assume that the rest of the world was going to stick around and wait for the pity party to stop.

- .*. * .*. -

With the taste of cigarette smoke still lingering on his tongue, Megumi popped a piece of gum into his mouth before pushing inside his apartment. As he placed his keys on the entryway table, he made a mental note to wash his hands and rid his fingers of the smell, too, unless he wanted to see Yuji’s nose crinkle up when he’d inevitably notice. 

As cute as the nose crinkle was, Megumi didn’t want to listen to the scold that always came along with it. Yuji was well aware of Megumi’s unsavory habit, but he always made it clear that he didn’t like it.  

And speaking of unsavory habits, as Megumi shed his winter coat to hang up, he heard voices coming from their TV.

“... and the statistics are showing that the decline in career prospects among the younger generation isn’t stopping anytime soon,” the news anchor reported, pointing to the graph behind him. “These people don’t want to work anymore. They’re lazy, and they’re using the events from a couple of years ago as an excuse to ride the coattails of what the rest of us have done to move past the destruction of our nation.”

“And what do you have to say about the decline in mental health, too? Statistics show that depression and anxiety are on the rise among this generation. You don’t think that might have something to do with it?” the co-anchor questioned. “What we all went through was tragic, and the people you’re scolding for not wanting to work are the same people who had to experience the fallout during such an impressionable time in their lives– they were kids-”

“And they’re adults now. What they need is to get over themselves, or what we have already accomplished will have been for nothing-”

The TV abruptly shut off, and in the black screen’s reflection, Yuji must have recognized Megumi standing behind him, because his shoulders tensed up. Through the murky details on the screen, he could see the slight grimace form on Yuji’s face.

Busted… 

Megumi dropped the remote onto the couch cushion and sighed, “Told you not to watch that stuff anymore. They’re all a bunch of ignorant assholes to begin with, but you know it only gets worse this time of year.”

“He’s right, though,” Yuji interjected scornfully. “If our generation doesn’t get its act together, society won’t make it. And then… what was the point of anything-?” A cold hand pressed against his forehead, pulling it back until he looked up at Megumi’s scowl. He rolled his eyes, and before the incoming scold could begin, he added, “It’s true, and you know it.”

“So, what? We’ve done our part, haven’t we? We gave these people a chance to live in a universe without Ryomen Sukuna, and if they’re using their time to bicker about the youth’s shitty work ethic, that’s their prerogative.” 

When Yuji tried to turn his head out of Megumi’s hold, Megumi slid his hand down to his jaw to reaffirm his grip, waiting for those amber eyes to land on him again, and when they did, he noticed a thin layer of liquid collecting on his waterline. He felt himself deflate as one of the tears dripped down Yuji’s temple, and with his thumb, he wiped it away.

“Sorry,” Yuji murmured, “I’m no better than them this time of year, am I?”

“No. You’re not,” he replied blandly, though it carried a tone of fondness. He felt a faint smile form on his face as he petted his thumb over the scar at the corner of Yuji’s mouth. “But at least you’re self-aware. I think that’s more than they can say about themselves.”

“Mm. Maybe.” Yuji subtly leaned into the touch and blinked back the residual tears.

“Not maybe. It’s true. They don’t understand the full extent of what happened, and they never will. It should make your savior complex feel good to know you’re saving these people’s sanity… after you already saved their lives, and saved their world.” Megumi drew his hand away from Yuji’s face to rest it on the back of the couch. “Do you really have to save their job market, too?”

Tearfully, Yuji snorted, “No. I guess not. But I’m not helping it either. Maybe I should look for a job…”

“Why bother? Between the trust fund Gojo set up for me and the inheritance from the Zenins, we’re set for life.”

“You mean that you’re set for life.” Megumi bristled at Yuji’s dismissive scoff and reached forward to flick his ear. “Ow– what the hell!”

“We’re set for life,” Megumi corrected him, “You and me.”

“But it’s your money-”

“Yes. And I can afford to pay for my things.” He took a step away from the couch, moving in the direction of the kitchen, when he stopped again. “And just so we’re clear, those things include you.”

“So, I’m just a thing?”

“You’re an idiot, actually,” Megumi taunted and rolled his eyes. 

He pulled the fridge open, finding it stocked with too much food that was about to expire. 

Most days, neither of them felt like cooking anything, so takeout was the easiest option. However, Megumi splurged on the weekly groceries, making sure the fridge and cupboards were full. 

He leaned in, picking through the vegetable crisper at the produce that was starting to wilt. “What do you want for dinner?”

“I get to choose?”

“When don’t you get to choose?” Megumi retorted, pulling out a bag of greens to check the expiration date. “Preferably something with bok choy. We need to use it before it goes bad.”

“Mm, that stir-fry you made before was good,” Yuji answered, stepping into the kitchen behind him. “Honestly, you could just throw a bunch of random stuff into the pan. You’d make it taste good somehow.”

“You think so?” Megumi absent-mindedly asked, peeling off the withered leaves to discard.

“Mhm. You’re like a master chef.”

Megumi scoffed. “I suck at cooking, Yuji.”

“You’re better than me, that’s for sure. I always like it, no matter what.” He felt two arms wrap around his torso from behind, and Yuji planted his cheek right between his shoulder blades, unmoving as Megumi placed the vegetables on the cutting board. “By the way, Kugisaki is coming back for the weekend. She and Fumi are visiting with Saori, but she wants to come over on Saturday. S’that okay with you?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

He felt Yuji shrug. “Maybe because it’s your birthday, and you usually spend it with just me.”

With a quick glance at the calendar, Megumi confirmed that Yuji was correct– Saturday was December 22nd.

He clicked his tongue. “Hm, I didn’t even notice. Still, I don’t mind.”

“Cool.” His lips brushed over the back of Megumi’s neck when he turned his cheek the other way to mumble, “M’gonna tell her she has to leave before ten, though.”

“Oh?” Megumi paused, raising a brow. “Did you have something planned?”

“Not necessarily. Just want time with you, is all.”

He felt himself smile. “We’re together almost constantly– how can you want more time with me?”

“You say it like it’s a bad thing, but I know you like how clingy I am.” Yuji stood taller on his toes and briefly pressed his lips to Megumi’s cheek– not quite a kiss, but definitely not a platonic gesture, either– and then he was gone, walking back toward the living room. “I’m gonna watch TV.”

“Not the news,” Megumi reminded him.

“Yeah, yeah.”

- .*. * .*. -

Ten Years Ago

“You can just wait here,” Megumi told Yuji as he stepped up to Shoko’s office. “I won’t be long.” 

He knocked on her door and waited to hear her usual greeting before entering. She looked up from a paper she was reviewing, cigarette held in the corner of her mouth. She gave a small grin, tipping her head forward as a way to say hello. “Fushiguro.”

“Ieiri.”

“There’s your stuff.” She nodded toward the small paper bag on the corner of her desk. “One pill, preferably with food. Take it half an hour before you wanna sleep.”

“Thanks.” He grabbed it, stuffing it into his pocket for safekeeping.

“Yep.” She took a deep drag, blowing a cloud of smoke into the air above her. “So, how's the trauma bonding going?”

He scoffed, “It’s fine. I guess.”

Following the incident in Shinjuku, Megumi and Yuji didn’t separate much. Ten feet– that’s how far they could distance themselves from the other before inevitably finding their way back. Boundaries didn’t really exist between them anymore, and neither of them was in their right mind to be embarrassed about it. 

Apparently, it was trauma bonding, as Shoko had called it.

She hummed, disinterested, yet concerned at the same time. “Anything you wanna talk about?”

Sheepishly, he rubbed the back of his neck. “Not really.”

“Alright. Well, I’m here if you do.” She went back to her report, eyes lazily reading over every line. When Megumi continued to stand there, she looked up, cocking a brow. “Need something else?”

He eyed the cigarette in her mouth, then the half-smoked pack on her desk. “Can I have one of those?”

Now, with both brows raised in surprise, she motioned toward the pack in question. “A cigarette?”

“Please.”

She squinted, discarding the report to the side to pick up the pack. “I probably shouldn’t let you. It’s a terrible habit to pick up. Not to mention, Gojo would probably be disappointed that I got his kid hooked on it.”

“Then it’s a good thing Gojo isn’t here anymore, isn’t it?”

A wry grin flickered on her mouth before she held the pack out, letting Megumi pluck one to place between his lips. With practiced precision– because this was far from Megumi’s first time smoking– he grabbed the lighter off her desk and lit the end of the cigarette.

She leaned back in her chair, propping her feet up on her desk. “So, how’s the trauma bonding really going? And don’t lie to me this time.”

Contrary to what Megumi thought, this bonding didn’t always occur between a victim and their abuser; two victims could bond just as easily, and through the bond, would help each other heal.

However, in Megumi and Yuji’s case, they were different.

The two didn’t talk about it. At all. 

Sometimes, they would mention a certain name, but that’s the extent to which those conversations would go. So, they weren’t healing, per se, but it was nice to have company from someone who was hurting, too.

It went on like this for two months before Yuji broke their cycle.

In the bathroom, they stood under a pair of shower heads, facing away from each other for a smidge of privacy. They had both decided that it was finally time to bathe after neglecting the task for a couple of days. 

All was fine, business as usual, until Megumi heard it.

The sniffle cut through the sound of water pelting the tile, catching Megumi off guard. With a subtle glance over his shoulder, his eyes flicked over Yuji’s bare back, taking in the splotches of red through the clouds of excess steam.

And then he heard another sniffle.

“Itadori?”

He didn’t respond. 

The lack of an answer worried Megumi. In an instant, he reached across to the other shower, fingertips grazing Yuji’s shoulder before he drew back with a pained hiss– the water was a scorching temperature. 

“Jesus! Are you trying to give yourself burns?” he bit out, quickly bearing the hot water to turn off Yuji’s shower. “Hey, are you even listening to me?” 

Megumi tugged on Yuji’s shoulder, trying to coax him into turning around. He fought against him for a moment until Megumi used more force, nearly knocking him off his feet.

And then he was faced with Yuji’s eyes, filled to the brim with hot tears, yet not one had slipped down his cheek. 

Any bit of anger in Megumi was quickly replaced with concern, but given the situation, what was he supposed to do? Ask Yuji if he was alright? 

Of course not– not when Megumi knew the answer to that question was a resounding fuck no.

But he couldn’t just stand there and watch either.

So, instead, he said, “You’re allowed to cry, you know?” Yuji’s breathing hitched– a hiccup almost. Yuji shook his head, jaw flexing as he gritted his teeth. “You can talk about it. If you want.”

“I-I don’t, I just… not yet.” With a singular blink, the tears finally fell, which Yuji was quick to wipe away with a disappointed huff. “Sorry.”

“For what?”

Yuji shrugged, dragging the back of his hand over his eyes as he answered, “Crying. Being sad. Not moving on.”

Megumi’s eyes widened. “Moving on? Christ, it only happened a few months ago. It’s natural to still be upset-”

“Then why aren’t you?” A bout of silence passed between them, neither of them knowing what else to say. Yuji quietly added, “Why don’t you act like it bothers you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You… I’ve been waiting for-” He trailed off, biting at the inside of his cheek, mulling over his next words. “I don’t know. I just feel like you lost more than I did, but you seem fine-”

“I’m not,” Megumi interjected sharply, making Yuji fall silent. “Is that what you want to hear? I’m not fine, I’m not… okay– what happened will never be okay-”

“Why haven’t you said anything?”

“Why haven’t you?” Megumi countered, raising a brow. Yuji’s interrogative stare dropped to the tile below their feet. “Besides, what good will it do? Talking about it isn’t going to bring any of them back or undo the damage that’s been done.” When he felt the burn behind his eyes, he turned back to his shower. “Talking about it isn’t going to make me miss them any less, so I’d rather just… not say anything at all.”

He hated the shake in his voice, the closing feeling in the back of his throat– this is exactly why he didn’t want to talk about it. Not only was doing so a waste of breath, but it fucking hurt.

But somewhere inside him, he felt an inkling of tension ease. Maybe it was from finally getting some of it off his chest, or releasing some pressure from all those bottled-up emotions. 

Or maybe it was nice to finally justify himself to Yuji, and explain why he’s been holding back, because deep down, he knew the only reason Yuji was staying quiet was that Megumi was quiet about it, too.

Unable to help himself, he continued, “I mean, I hardly even sleep anymore. If it weren’t for those pills from Ieiri, I wouldn’t sleep at all. You know the nightmares are ruthless; you know I spend each night reliving it. I’m bothered by what happened– I’m not… heartless-”

“Fushiguro, I wasn’t-”

“So, maybe I don’t want to talk about it.” He swallowed thickly. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t. If… if it’ll make you feel better, then go ahead. I can listen; you don’t have to keep it in for my sake-”

Megumi froze when two arms wrapped around his torso from behind, and a warm cheek pressed between his shoulder blades. 

Despite being glued at the hip following the recent events, this was the closest the two teens had ever been with one another; not even a barrier of clothing kept them apart. 

Yet, Megumi didn’t find it awkward or weird– no, he relished the contact with another human being. In seconds, he turned in Yuji’s hold to hug him back.

Yuji went still in Megumi’s arms, but he didn’t push him away. Instead, he tightened his hold, tucking his face into his neck as a subtle gesture that said how badly he needed this, too.

“I miss them, okay?” Megumi shakily began, forcing his eyes shut in hopes of keeping the tears at bay. “All of them.”

He felt Yuji nod against him.

“I miss them, too.”

- .*. * .*. -

Megumi leaned on the balcony railing, watching the cars pass on the street below. His fingertips were starting to go cold, but the nicotine was keeping the rest of him warm. With a flick above the tray to his right, he ashed the cigarette before bringing it back to his lips, just in time to hear a familiar voice shout from the sidewalk.

“Megumi Fushiguro! Is that a cigarette, I see?!”

His eyes snapped to the woman who called him out, and he playfully scoffed, “Yeah. And what’s it to you?”

Being on the second floor, she easily heard him and snapped back, “Those aren’t good for you!”

“No shit, Kugisaki. The labels on the pack aren’t for decoration.” He raised his brows and said, “I’m twenty-six. I can smoke, if I want.”

“Oh, you are so lucky it’s your birthday, or I’d-”

“Hey, how about you come up and stop shouting on the street. You’re annoying the neighbors.”

With a disgruntled sound, she stormed into the lobby of his building. He snubbed the cigarette in the tray, and by the time he made it to the front door, she was already buzzing to be let inside. The second he opened the door to her, she pushed her way in, grumbling about the cold as she pulled off her outer layers. 

“Happy birthday, by the way.”

“Thanks,” he flatly replied, picking her discarded jacket up from the floor to hang it on the coat rack.

With her hands on her hips, she looked around their apartment. “Where’s Itadori?”

“He went to help out at the school for a few hours, but he should be back soon with dinner.”

Nobara crinkled her nose. “Really? What’s he doing all that for?”

“The first years needed someone to supervise them, and since Okkotsu is on family leave, he asked if Yuji would step in. Honestly, at this point, they should just give him the job– God knows he wants it bad enough.” She pressed her lips together, and without even needing to say anything, Megumi already guessed what she was thinking. “I know. I told him it wasn’t a good idea, but… you know how he is.”

“I figured he would have grown out of his hero syndrome.” Megumi cast her a certain glance, and she backpedaled, “Well, no, I didn’t. This isn’t surprising at all.”

“No, it’s not,” Megumi hummed in agreement and walked toward the kitchen, Nobara in tow. “Anyway, how have you been?”

“Eh, fine. Nothing too exciting to share since I saw you last time,” she murmured, looking around the kitchen as Megumi pulled two waters from the fridge. Her eyes stopped on a few photos tacked on the corkboard, along with other various notes and reminders. Megumi followed her line of sight and then settled on the smirk on her mouth. “So… you and Yuji, hm?”

He rolled his eyes. “He insisted on hanging them up there.”

She padded closer to the corkboard to get a better look. 

The first picture was of them at the park. Megumi remembered the moment when Yuji had grabbed his face, forcing them to smash their cheeks together for the photo. Yuji’s smile was blinding, per usual, and Megumi’s scowl was just a touch softer as he glared at Yuji– though the glare was rather fond, even Megumi could tell.

A stranger had taken the second picture after Yuji all but forced the camera into the guy’s hands. They were at a summer festival, dressed in traditional clothing, which Yuji had begged Megumi to wear. With one of his hands holding onto a skewer of candied strawberries, and his other arm wrapped securely around Megumi’s waist, he told the guy to take the picture quickly– so quickly, in fact, that Megumi barely had any time to prepare for it, yet it still turned out nice.

And the third picture was a candid one of Yuji, taken on their balcony that autumn. They were sitting in their matching patio chairs, watching the sun set. There was something about how the light caught Yuji’s eyes that made Megumi snap the photo. 

“Did you just take a picture of me?” Yuji had asked, eyeing how suspicious Megumi looked as he tried to subtly pocket his phone again. “You did, didn’t you? I wasn’t even ready for it.” 

The result of his action led Yuji to plop himself down on Megumi’s lap and retrieve his phone from his pocket. He pulled up the picture and quietly snickered as he looked it over. Yuji mumbled, “... you’re such a sap, Gumi,” before opening the camera to take a better one– this time with both of them in it.

Megumi would never admit it to Nobara (and he really, really hoped she didn’t somehow find out tonight), but the same photo was also set as his lock screen on his phone, just cropped to only include Yuji’s face.

“You two are hopeless, aren’t you?”

Megumi groaned and shoved the bottle of water into Nobara’s hands. “You like to meddle too much.”

She snorted. “It’s not meddling if you’re shoving it in my face, but since it’s your birthday, I’ll look past it, I guess.”

- .*. * .*. - 

“I think… the adrenaline of just being alive has worn off,” Nobara commented one evening, staring off at the night sky with her breath crystallizing in the air. “Which is shitty to say. You both had it worse than I did. You had to actually live through it, and I just… didn’t. Sorry about that, by the way.”

Megumi exhaled a laugh. “Nothing to apologize for. You’re alive. Shouldn’t be sorry for that.”

“I mean… sorry that I wasn’t there to help,” she corrected herself.

He shrugged. “It’s not like I was either. Well, not technically. So… you shouldn’t worry about it.” 

His stomach twisted with anxiety as he was reminded of what happened. He reached for his pocket, taking out his lighter to toy with. It was something to keep his hands busy, since he’d smoked his last cigarette a few hours prior. Shoko wouldn’t give him another pack until the next time he saw her, which was a few days away.

“Maybe I should apologize to Itadori, then.”

Megumi snorted. “Sure. If you wanna get your head ripped off for it, and then you’ll have to watch him cry, and that’s… like the worst thing he could do.”

She grinned. “Hurts your feelings, does it?”

“Always.” He flicked the lighter wheel, watching it light up with sparks. “Anyway, you shouldn’t apologize for anything. Ever.”

“Not even for leaving you two behind here?”

While he didn’t follow Nobara outside with a plan, he had a feeling this was where the conversation would go. 

Whether she meant to or not, she had been talking as if she were already gone all week, and Megumi picked up on it immediately.

“Not even for that, Kugisaki,” he whispered. “I understand. He’ll understand, too. Just promise to tell him yourself, okay? If he has to hear it from me, he’ll be devastated.”

“Well, duh. I can’t leave him without saying goodbye. That would probably like… traumatize him, or something.”

“I’d venture to say it would be the least traumatizing way you’ve left him thus far.”

A silence fell over the two before she let out a playful gasp and punched his shoulder, making him laugh. 

“Alright, asshole. That was dark, even for you. And besides, I came back.”

“Yeah, you did. And you’ll come back again, soon, right?”

She let out a contemplative sigh. “Yeah, definitely. I want to take at least a month to get away from… this. Fumi and I are moving into this little apartment in one of the safe zones up north. It’s a cute place; you’ll have to come visit once we get all moved in.”

Despite the churn in his stomach, the flare of separation anxiety, he couldn’t help but be happy for her. The moment was bittersweet.

“Anyway, I’m leaving in a few days. Wanna stop by tomorrow and help me pack?”

- .*. * .*. - 

From the living room where he was picking up empty alcohol bottles, Megumi heard Yuji explain to Nobara’s designated driver at the door, “She might’ve had a bit too much to drink.”

“Yeah, I expected it,” Fumi chirped. “She’s kinda a whore for dessert wine.”

“Oh… like in a concerning way?”

“Shut up, Itadori,” Nobara slurred. 

Fumi continued, “Nah, it’s fine. She only drinks on the weekends.”

“Fumi. Take me home.” The woman giggled at Nobara’s order but conceded. “Wait, I gotta say something real quick– happy birthday, Fushiguro!” Nobara shouted from the door. “Let’s see if you can grow a pair and ask him out before your next birthday!”

Megumi felt his face redden, and thankfully, Fumi chose that moment to finally drag Nobara out. With the door now closed, he felt a bit of tension fall off his shoulders.

“Well, that was weird. I wonder what she was talking about,” Yuji mused as he stepped into the living room. 

Megumi, still red-faced, didn’t turn around. “Who knows? She’s a sloppy drunk, so half of what she says doesn’t even make sense.”

“Mm, true.” He heard Yuji take tentative steps further into the living room. “Or, maybe she was talking about you asking me out, and if that’s the case, I can promise that you’d be able to do it before your birthday is over this year.” 

Megumi stilled, instantly going rigid. He risked a glance over his shoulder, finding Yuji standing right behind him, only a few feet away. 

Yuji smiled and went on to add, “That is… if you think you can grow a pair before midnight.”

With Megumi’s stunned silence, doubt and obvious insecurity crept into Yuji’s features. His grin fell, and he cleared his throat, taking a step back. “Unless you don’t like me– actually, forget I said anything-”

“I like you,” he rushed to say, and since he was feeling impulsive, apparently, he went ahead and admitted, “Actually, I love you.”

Yuji’s eyes widened in surprise. “You do?”

“Yes, I do.”

Yuji let out a breath of relief, a grin returning to his mouth. He took a moment to step forward and wrap his arms around Megumi’s neck, leaning in closer to say, “Okay, good. Because I love you, too, and I was seriously starting to think I just misread the last ten years of my life.”

Megumi chuckled, “No. You didn’t. I… I think I was being pretty obvious.” His hands fell to Yuji’s waist so naturally, because standing in such a way wasn’t anything new for them.

“Eh, not to me. It took me a while to figure it out. At least two years, actually.”

“You could’ve said something.”

“I did– or, well, I tried to. But I was scared, too.”

“Idiot,” Megumi chided. “Nothing for you to be scared of.”

Yuji’s gaze flicked between Megumi’s eyes and his lips as he hummed, “I’m so glad you said so, because I’ve wanted to kiss you for years, but I’ve always been terrified that it would freak you out.”

Megumi brought his hands to Yuji’s face, tilting his head back just enough. “That’s a stupid thing to be terrified over, Yuji. You could have kissed me on day one.”

“Yeah, right. You would have decked me in the face for that.” His eyes flicked to Megumi’s lips again. “So, can I kiss you now-”

But Megumi didn’t give him the chance before leaning down and kissing him first. The second their lips made contact, Yuji gasped in surprise and doubled down his efforts to match Megumi’s pace. 

Perhaps it was a bit too quick and rough for a first kiss, but cut them some slack. 

They’d both been thinking about this for ten years; there’s a lot of repressed feelings being poured into it.

- .*. * .*. - 

Megumi jolted awake, inhaling a small breath of air as the nightmare receded into the furthest corner of his mind. Though perhaps calling it a nightmare was only a nice way of putting it, when in reality, it was nothing but a memory. A dark, traumatic, gut-wrenching memory that he could compare to a nightmare, but a memory, nonetheless.

It was his own fault that it happened. He had taken his sleeping medicine too early in the evening, and, as it seemed, it had worn off before the sun had even started rising. Megumi sighed and rolled onto his side, only to get a face full of socked feet– Yuji’s feet, to be specific. 

He groaned and sat up in the bed, looking at the teen sprawled out beside him. 

The two had started sharing a bed that week, rather than taking turns between sleeping on the mattress and sleeping on the floor. It was a safety measure they decided on to ensure that if one of them started having a nightmare, the other would be there to wake them up. 

Turns out, Yuji is a heavy sleeper, because this was the third time Megumi had woken up with a bad dream, only to find Yuji sleeping soundly beside him. He wasn’t upset about it. At the very least, it gave him comfort to know that Yuji was right there in the aftermath of said nightmare.

He pushed himself to his knees, crawling down the bed until he could reach Yuji’s shoulder. He poked him a few times, making Yuji stir and groan, “What?”

“M’going to the bathroom. You coming with me?”

He only asked because the distance between the bathroom and their bedroom far exceeded the ten-foot radius they liked to keep.

“Mm…” Yuji mumbled something unintelligible under his breath, but tiredly pulled himself out of bed.

The walk to the bathroom was difficult, thanks to Yuji's insistence on using Megumi as support. He leaned into him, letting his friend carry most of his weight, though Megumi didn’t complain– not until they got into the bathroom, and Yuji was still leaning on his back as Megumi stood in front of the urinal.

“Dude.”

“Hm?”

“Can you wait by the sinks like you usually do?”

“Mm, too tired to move. Too cold,” Yuji grumbled as he rested his forehead on Megumi’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around his midsection. “You’re warm.”

“Itadori.”

“Fushiguro.” When Megumi groaned, Yuji tiredly snickered, “M’not even looking. And, besides, s’not like I haven’t seen it before.” 

Megumi supposed he was right, but it didn’t make it any less difficult to piss with a grown boy leaning into his back. 

After hauling Yuji to the sinks when Megumi was finished, he washed up, and they began the trek back to their bedroom. On the way, Yuji seemed to perk up enough to be able to walk on his own, though he kept himself glued to Megumi’s side anyway.

“You know, it’s kind of spooky out here,” Yuji commented, looking out at the darkened area around them. The only light they had was the flickering sconces on the side of the building. “Like a horror movie.”

Megumi scoffed, “It’s not that bad.”

“Yeah, but you only say that because darkness is like… your whole thing.”

He frowned. “What?”

“Like the shadows and stuff,” Yuji amended with a yawn.

“I mean, I guess. It’s not like I can see in the dark, though.”

“You can’t?”

“I’m not a fucking cat,” he chuckled. “It’s more like I can sense things.”

“Hmm,” Yuji hummed, and then yawned again. “So, can you sense anything out there?”

Megumi let his eyes rake over the loured space, in between the trees, and through the woods. “No. There’s nothing; it’s empty. We’re safe.”

When they made it back to the bedroom, the two instantly took their places on the bed, only this time, instead of lying their heads on opposite ends of the mattress, they lay side by side. 

To maintain a modicum of appropriate space, they faced away from each other, much like they did in the showers. 

For Yuji, sleep came easily; he passed out only after a few moments. Megumi listened to his quiet snores until his own eyelids started to droop, and after an hour of waiting, he finally fell asleep, too.

Though the rest didn’t last very long. 

Soon, he was thrust into a terrifying memory– another re-telling of the events that had taken place months ago. 

And when he jolted awake that time, gasping for air, the first thing he saw was Yuji’s face hovering over his. “Fushiguro? You were having a nightmare– it looked like a bad one-”

The obvious concern in his eyes twisted Megumi’s gut, and quickly, to placate his friend, he said, “I’m fine.”

Yuji seemed to hesitate. “Are you sure?”

No, he wasn’t sure, but he was too tired to get into it.

So, he sighed, “Yeah.” 

“But you’re crying.”

Was he?

Megumi wiped at his eyes, and sure enough, when he drew his hand back, his fingers were wet with tears– how embarrassing.

Without thinking too much about it, he tugged Yuji closer, looping his arms around his waist to hold him close. Both of them froze, feeling the proximity to one another before settling into it. 

Yuji didn’t ask any questions as he curled into Megumi’s side, and Megumi didn’t think anything of it when he tucked Yuji’s head under his chin.

The two teens continued to sleep this way, never once second-guessing the position. 

If it was too intimate or just platonic enough not to cross a certain line, it didn’t matter to them.

- .*. * .*. - 

The morning after his 26th birthday, Megumi woke up with his face resting in pink, fluffy hair; a few tufts of it tickled his nose, though that didn’t stop him from inhaling deeply. His fingers flexed, slightly digging into Yuji’s hip before he pulled him close, until his chest was pressed against Yuji’s back. The position wasn’t new– they often woke up in a similar way, but it was different now. 

Yuji wasn’t just his friend or his roommate anymore. 

Yuji was his boyfriend.

“Finally awake?” Yuji questioned, propping himself up on his elbow to glance over his shoulder.

“Yeah,” Megumi rasped, “How long have you been up?”

“Few hours.” Yuji turned in his hold to face Megumi and shove his phone into his face. “Look at this.”

Megumi squinted at the sudden bright light and grabbed Yuji’s hand to steady it. He looked over the advertisement for a holiday light show in the park closest to their apartment.

“We should go. It’s tomorrow night, which would give us plenty of time to see Gojo and be back before it starts.” He drew his phone back to himself with a grin. “They’re also giving out free hot chocolate and candy canes. It’ll basically be our first date.”

Megumi snorted. “Mm, how romantic. We’ll visit our dead teacher, and then we have dinner and a show afterward to debrief our trauma– how could I pass that up?”

Yuji’s smile fell, and he reached forward to gently flick Megumi’s cheek, making him laugh. “Don’t be pessimistic.”

“I’m not.” He grabbed Yuji’s hand and hauled him over to straddle his lap. “We can go see the lights, but let’s save the first date for another time, like when it’s not the tenth anniversary of the worst day of our lives.”

“Fine, fine.” Yuji dropped his hands to the pillow beneath Megumi’s head to hover over him. “You’re probably right anyway.”

“I usually am,” Megumi murmured. 

His eyes tracked down the side of Yuji’s neck, taking in the splotches of red he’d left behind the night before. He was sure there were more spots hiding underneath Yuji’s yellow hoodie, and just to check, he hooked a finger in the collar of the hoodie and tugged it down. 

Sure enough, bites and bruises littered Yuji’s skin.

If Megumi were being honest, he was eager to add a few more, and from the look on Yuji’s face, he felt the same.

“Um, you know,” Yuji began, exhaling a nervous laugh. “We could like… mess around, if you wanted to.”

“Oh, could we?”

At the coy tone, Yuji’s eyes narrowed in Megumi’s direction, glaring at the grin daring to spread over his mouth. He groaned, letting his face fall into the crook of Megumi’s neck to whine, “Don’t make fun of me.”

He chuckled, “I’m not. I just think it’s funny. And cute.”

Yuji reeled back with a gasp. “Cute? Me?”

“Always.” Megumi watched a dark redness bloom over the bridge of Yuji’s nose.

He covered his face. “You’re embarrassing me– what the hell? You’re the one that’s supposed to be all nervous and stuff, not me.”

“Yeah, maybe if we were still twenty and we just moved in together, but we’ve been doing this for a while. What’s there to be nervous about?”

“The fact that we’re together now– like together, together. For real.”

“Shouldn’t that make it easier?” When Yuji shrugged with his hands still covering his face, Megumi reached up to wrap his fingers around his wrists. “It makes it easier for me. Now that I know you love me too, I can do all the things I’ve always wanted without having to be paranoid that I’ve overstepped somehow.”

Yuji raised a brow, his blush dissipating with each passing second. “What kind of things?”

“Things like these.” Megumi brushed his thumb over one of the bites on Yuji’s neck. “I can kiss you here now.” Yuji leaned into the touch, eyes slightly fluttering from the feeling. “And I can point out that you’re hard without it being weird.”

With the moment ruined, Yuji’s eyes snapped open. “What?!” He looked down at himself, seeing the bulge in his sleep shorts, before he grabbed at his crotch to hide it. “You’re saying you knew all the other times?”

Megumi laughed. “Yuji, we slept in the same bed. For years. If you think you never poked me with your morning wood, you’re delusional.”

“Megumiii,” he groaned, head hanging in shame. 

He waved him off. “Come on, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. If I didn’t take sleeping pills, I probably would’ve been the same way. Besides,” He grabbed Yuji’s hands to pull them away from between his legs. “That was years ago. Things are different now. I don’t take sleeping pills anymore, and we’re dating.”

Hesitantly and confused, Yuji asked, “So?”

Rather than giving a verbal answer, Megumi grabbed Yuji’s hips, rolling him forward over his lap in a slow grind. To steady himself, Yuji’s hands fell to Megumi’s shoulders, his eyes widening in surprise. 

He looked down between their bodies at the place they met; the fabric of their sleep shorts tightening with each movement. 

As Yuji breathed, “Oh,” Megumi took the front of Yuji’s hoodie into his fist and pulled him down, slotting their mouths together for a kiss. 

It was different than their last; slower and sweeter, yet still just as good. It was everything their first kiss should have been, but Megumi wasn’t upset about having this one as his second.

Yuji softly bucked into Megumi’s lap in a hesitant motion, or maybe he did it unknowingly. 

Either way, Megumi wanted more of it.

He pressed up, knocking Yuji backward onto the bed before taking his new place above him. With a hand on the outside of Yuji’s thighs, Megumi guided his legs to wrap around his hips. Yuji took the initiative to lock his ankles together and pull Megumi back down, pressing their lips together once again. With another tentative, slow grind, Yuji breathed out a soft moan into Megumi’s mouth, and-

And Megumi froze.

Over the past ten years, he’d thought about all the sounds Yuji could make in this very situation, but none of them ever compared to actually hearing it.

Yuji pulled back. His kiss-bitten lips were glossed with saliva; they were parted as he quietly panted, “What?”

The question knocked Megumi out of his spell. He pressed his face into Yuji’s neck and mumbled, “Nothing.” 

He mouthed at the bruised patches of skin, much like he had done the night before, only this time, he didn’t stop at the collar of Yuji’s hoodie. Megumi pushed up the yellow fabric, bunching it up right below Yuji’s neck, to continue the kisses down to his chest. 

He sucked little red marks as he went, taking the time to soothe them over with his tongue, and soak up the praising sounds Yuji was making. A hand carded through Megumi’s hair, taking it into a loose grip, and led his mouth toward Yuji’s pec. When a warm tongue licked over his nipple, Yuji twitched, his legs tightening around Megumi’s sides.

“Megumi?” Yuji whispered, rolling his hips up. “Can you…?” 

Without needing to hear the rest of the request, Megumi worked his hand between their bodies, palming Yuji over his sleep shorts, earning him a pretty moan in return, which Megumi responded to in kind.

“W-Wanna touch you, too,” Yuji breathed, shuddering when Megumi grazed his skin with his teeth. He tugged on black tufts of hair, adding a sweet, “Please.”

“Aren’t you already touching me?” he questioned, mouthing at Yuji’s pulse.

“You know what I mean.” Yuji pushed on Megumi’s shoulder and tugged on his sleeve. “Just a little bit.”

Megumi huffed and leaned back, giving Yuji the chance to sit up. Instantly, he slid his fingers underneath Megumi’s shirt, running his hands over his waist, palming at his abs, and squeezing at his hips. 

Abruptly, Yuji grabbed the hem of the fabric and ordered, “Take it off.”

“What about yours?” Megumi countered sharply, giving the hoodie a pull. 

But Yuji only grinned and raised his arms. “By all means, feel free to take it off of me.”

- .*. * .*. -

Some days were good for the two teens, and other days were bad. It seemed that whatever cycle they were in had synced up, meaning that they were always on the same page in terms of grieving and healing. 

The phrase: ‘When it’s good, it’s great, but when it’s bad, it’s really bad’, could have been their motto.

Thankfully, they could say that, after almost a year of healing, the good days were starting to outweigh the bad ones. 

But that always ensured that when they were low, it ached even more. Yes, the cycle they found themselves in was brutal.

The winter following Gojo’s death was the worst. 

The cold air burned their skin, the snow could have been acid, and the holiday cheer might as well have been screams of misery– it was horrible, all around. 

They didn’t leave the school; they hardly even left their room.

The week that marked the anniversary of the attack, they stayed in bed together. If it weren’t for Shoko showing up with food and water, they probably would have succumbed to dehydration or starvation by the time December 24th rolled around.

The day following the anniversary, they hauled themselves out of bed, dragging each other to the bathroom. 

Megumi stood in front of the mirror, avoiding looking at his reflection as he brushed his teeth. He felt a bit of relief when Yuji finally joined him to use the sink– the brief moment where Yuji was using the bathroom, and Megumi stood by the sink, was almost too long. 

As Yuji washed his hands, he mentioned, “... I think I have a bladder infection or something.”

Mouth full of minty foam, Megumi mumbled, “What?”

He nodded, snickering wryly, “Didn’t piss for like… five days, so it’s not surprising.”

Megumi spit into the sink and turned on the faucet to wash it down the drain. “Well, we can stop by to see Ieiri when we’re done. I need more sleeping pills anyway.”

They fell into silence as they followed their routine. Megumi, while facing away from the mirrors, waited patiently for Yuji to finish brushing his teeth, and when he was done, he led them both to the showers.

Yuji tilted his head back and groaned, “Ugh, I don’t want to shower.”

“You have to. You smell.”

“So do you,” he argued, as if that would sway Megumi’s mind.

“I know. That’s why I’m showering. And so are you.” He reached out and grabbed Yuji’s shirt. “Arms up.”

With a grumbling curse, Yuji conceded and raised his arms above his head, letting Megumi strip him of his t-shirt.

That evening, when the two settled down in their freshly washed sheets, bellies full of food, and sufficiently hydrated, they lay on their sides, facing one another in silence. 

They blinked slowly, inhaling in short breaths.

“A year,” Yuji rasped, finally breaking the quietness.

He didn’t elaborate, and Megumi didn’t really need him to.

“A year,” Megumi repeated in an affirming tone.

Yuji’s throat bobbed as he swallowed, and then, “I still miss them.”

“Me, too.”

For minutes, they remained silent. 

Megumi looked at the scar on the corner of Yuji’s mouth, and then the one that ran diagonally down his forehead and over the bridge of his nose– they were nothing more than pink, rough skin now. At first, he was scared they’d never heal, or that they’d get infected and become a bigger problem. If it weren’t for Megumi regularly cleaning his wounds, he’s sure those scars would be worse.

He wasn’t sure what possessed him to do so, but Megumi reached out to trace his finger over them, bringing his thumb to the scar on the corner of Yuji’s mouth. He caught Yuji’s eyes watching him, and when he brushed his thumb over Yuji’s bottom lip, those pupils dilated ever so slightly.

It was cute, Megumi thought.

Unprompted, Megumi asked, “Wanna hear a funny story?”

Yuji nodded. “Please.”

“Once, when I was in elementary school, the office had to call home because of me– it was protocol for behavioral incidents.” He stopped, quietly chuckling as he recalled the memory. “I got in trouble for fighting. It was stupid– the kid was a bully, tried to push me around, whatever. Anyway, I punched him first, and he got a few good hits in, but I basically beat the shit out of him. The principal threatened me, saying they were going to call home. I told them to go ahead, that I didn’t care.

Megumi bit back his smile to continue, “They made Gojo come pick me up, and the first thing he asks me is, ‘Did you kick his ass?’ In front of the principal and the other kids’ mom, too. When I told him I did, he gave me a pat on the back, called me awesome, and then signed me out. We got ice cream afterward to celebrate the win– his words, not mine.”

Yuji laughed, “Sounds like something he’d do.” He slid forward, moving closer to Megumi. “Have any other stories?”

He nodded, a flickering grin on his mouth. “So many, you have no idea.”

Megumi recounted a few more before they both started to feel drowsy. 

And then, Yuji asked, “Do you think it’ll get better?”

Megumi didn’t hesitate to answer, “Yeah. I do.”

- .*. * .*. -

“Do you think he knew?” Yuji asked, looking at the Gojo family monument they were kneeling in front of. The incense burning in the little pot of sand was almost finished, and the fresh flowers Yuji brought were nicely displayed– it looked better than it had when they first arrived. 

“Knew, what?”

“About us,” Yuji amended, looking over at Megumi. “That I liked you, and you liked me.”

Megumi’s face warmed slightly as he dropped his eyes to the concrete below his knees. “Uh, yeah, probably.”

Yuji cocked a brow. “Oh? Did you guys ever talk about me?”

“Yuji,” Megumi sighed, growing even redder. 

“What? I’m just curious.”

He glanced at Yuji, catching sight of that familiar, eager stare, which Megumi had dubbed his puppy-dog eyes. 

Megumi huffed, “Maybe once or twice, but it was only when he’d corner me about it. As I said, I was obvious about my feelings, and Gojo was too perceptive, so he noticed. He always noticed, and he always called me out on it. It was annoying.”

“Aww!” Yuji cooed. “That’s not annoying at all, it’s sweet!”

If it were even possible, Megumi’s face warmed more. “Yeah, whatever. Can we go now?” He checked the time on his phone. “We don’t want to be late for the lights.” He stood up, brushing the little specks of dust from his pants before offering his hand to Yuji. 

His boyfriend took it, climbed to his feet, and in one swift movement, Yuji leaned over and pressed his lips to Megumi’s cheek. While Megumi hissed out a sheepish sound, Yuji hummed, “It’s so cool I can just do that now.”

Megumi grumbled, “Oh, yeah, so cool.”

“Ha, who’s embarrassed now?” 

“PDA is embarrassing,” Megumi insisted, tugging on Yuji’s hand to lead him out of the cemetery.

Yuji playfully tutted, “Better get used to it, Gumi. I’ve got ten years of PDA stored up just for you.”

Megumi crinkled his nose. “Gross.”

Deep down, they both knew that he secretly loved it.