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The Tax Song (Official)

Summary:

"hey jax do you want to sleep with me 👉 👈 🥺 "

Set when he (Thomas) is forty-two, working at Greggs, living with his wife, and hating his life.

Read in the rhythm of The Jax Song (Official).

Notes:

I was on call with my friends. I can't believe this will be my first contribution to AO3 have fun guys :3

(me asking for a trope) friend: "I would say sharing a bed but they're already sharing a bed and Thomas trusts Jax because he's his friend"

beta read by the same friend <3

Work Text:

Have you heard of Jax? He is quite the scamp.
When it comes to causing heartache he is quite the champ.

I sit on the couch. I am very bored.
I say something to my wife but then I am ignored.

I look at the clock. It is twelve AM.
I think I will take a walk and maybe cause mayhem.

I go to the bar to get drunk on wine.
I kind of hate my life right now, I don't think I am fine.

I sit down at the bar. I ask for a mai tai.
I look across the bar and I cannot believe my eyes.

I begin to stare. We make eye contact.
My jaw drops in disbelief 'cause holy shit that's Jax.

The last time we met was in middle school.
Now we're forty-two I hope he still thinks I am cool.

He walks up to me. How'd this come about?
My heart's beating so fast that I think I might pass out.

I take a deep breath. I look at my seat.
Then I blurt out, "Hey Jax, do you want to sleep with me? 👉 👈 🥺 "

He pauses with a frown, whiskey in his hand.
I hope he's not married 'cause I want a one-night stand.

Then his ears perk up. His frown turns to a smile.
When I see that smile my heart flutters in freestyle.

We both leave the bar. We go to a hotel.
I realize I am cheating I hope I don't go to hell.

Then we go to bed. We're in the same bed.
I don't mind at all because I trust Jax; he's my friend.

Or maybe something more. I don't really know.
This proximity is nerve-wracking; my thoughts are slow.

I say, "I love you, and I always have."
Jax stays silent for a while (I can't rhyme with 'have').

It is the next day. I wake up alone.
My head kinda hurts I get out of bed with a groan.

I go to the store. This test might change my life.
Oh my god, I'm pregnant, what do I say to my wife.

Then Jax comes back in. He hands me a note.
"Sorry for leaving. It's November; I had to vote."

I look at the note. It's addressed "Mi Amore".
I can't read it because it was written in parkour.

Remember when we played Minecraft together?
I was kinda bad I always died in the Nether.

But now I play Ranked. My elo's pretty sweet.
One more win and I will be part of the bourgeoisie.

Then Jax clears his throat. He leans in for a kiss.
I am so happy right now; my heart is full of bliss.

I quit my job at Gregg's and divorce my wife.
Jax and I are ready to begin a brand new life.