Work Text:
I don't think I've ever been more terrified in my life.
Yes, I've had nightmares before, strange visions of nonsensical creatures tearing people apart. One of the ones that stuck with me the most was one where an upperclassman of mine had her head bitten off then her entrails eaten by some sort of clown worm. But those weren't real.
This was.
I wasn't even completely sure how I got in this situation. I had just been walking home from class. It hadn't even been that late, other college classes got out significantly later and the sun hadn't fully set yet. Somehow, I hadn't noticed someone was behind me.
I thought that the whole cloth over the mouth thing was fiction.
And here I was, stripped bare and tied to some sort of altar. The metallic smell of blood accompanied the dim light of the candles. My kidnappers stood huddled together in dark robes.
They hadn't gagged me but I didn't dare speak.
"Are you sure it'll work this time? The police are already biting on our heels."
"It has to! I understand it perfectly! All the previous sacrifices weren't up to his standard! Of course he would ignore us with such half hearted attempts!"
"And you're sure this one is enough?"
"Yes! I'm sure!"
"I don't know… I just got a feeling… we're making a big mistake."
"And we weren't before? Nonsense. Now prepare the dagger. It's almost time."
They dispersed, all but one retreating to the dark corners of the room. The last one banished a wicked looking dagger with a wavy blade and approached me. I saw apprehension in his gaze, but not anywhere towards my well being. No, he feared consequence.
Consequence I would certainly not see.
I knew then there was no way I was making this out alive.
Despair clawed at my throat and it felt familiar. Familiar though I knew never experienced it at such a level before. I could almost laugh at some irony I could not comprehend.
"Straight to acceptance? I can respect that. It makes my job easier." He fidgeted with the knife as he looked back to one of the others. They shared a nod and the ones around the edges of the room began to chant.
The one next to me then raised the dagger. Raised it and left it there.
I stared at the blade glittering in the candlelight as my lungs refused to function.
The chanting grew louder.
And louder.
And louder.
Louder.
Louder.
Louder and then-
I almost didn't process the blade barring down but I certainly processed the pain.
Something is wrong.
Nothing I've ever experienced before could come close to this.
The Devil felt it in her bones. In her rotten heart. In her soul that held all too tightly to stolen power.
White hot agony lit up my nerves like flesh eating fire works.
The Law calls.
If I could not draw in breath before then this was certainly the end of asphyxiation.
The Law does not call. It hides, crawls in the cracks in the world. Creeps ever so slowly to avoid the Devil's gaze.
Stars and galaxies lit up my vision.
Why? Why? Why would it purposefully get her attention?
Or perhaps in my final moments, my mind is giving out.
Regardless, it is a matter she cannot afford to wait to attend to.
I wished for help but know none will come.
The Devil appears in a flurry of pitch feather, broken wings stretched in their full glory.
My consciousness fades.
The cultist celebrate and the Devil stares.
I wished that at least I could say goodbye to someone.
But I guess I'll never will.
If the wrath of God was fearsome then the fury of the Devil is unmatched.
***
Water.
I was in water.
I tried to pry my eyes open but they wouldn't fully obey.
It hurt.
I felt something brush up against my skin. Gentle and soft, but wet.
I turned my head vaguely in it's direction.
There was someone there.
"…Homura..?"
"Shhh…" A hand cupped my cheek. "You're safe now. You can sleep."
I believed her.
I believed her with every fiber of my being.
***
Warmth surrounded me.
I stirred. This time my body was more responsive.
I blinked up at a dark, unfamiliar ceiling. I should probably be scared, but after being stabbed for a ritual, simply being in a strange place was more of a relief than anything.
A spark of adrenaline shot through me as I remembered the blade piercing flesh. My hand went to my heart, slipping under the bath robe cladding me.
Pure, unblemished skin met my fingertips. Soft, so soft, like it was new.
Was all that… just a dream?
No, no! It was real! I knew it, deep down in my bones.
But that begs the question… What happened?
Who saved me? And how did they make what should have been a fatal wound be so causally erased like it had never existed?
I looked over to the only sliver of light in the room, originating from a ajar door. In its light rested the still features of Homura Akemi.
She was sat next to the bed, face crinkled up with worry even as she seemingly slept, a closed fist supporting her head.
How long has it been since I saw her last? It felt like forever since we parted ways in middle school. She was just as beautiful as she was back then, if not even more so now.
My heart ached as it always did when I was around her.
…We were never friends, no matter how wrong that felt. After that strange interaction with her, where she declared that one day we would be enemies, she avoided me like the plague. I hated it. She seemed so lonely and part of me felt like it was my responsibility to fix that.
But nothing ever came of it and we drifted away from each other like ships in the night. The ache was still there but it was easier to ignore without her so close.
It didn't seem like a coincidence we have met again.
…She saved me, didn't she? That's why I was here, in her bed.
Or what I assumed to be her bed.
My hands curled into fist in the sheets.
Why? She said we would be enemies. Why would one risk saving their enemy?
But Homura never felt like an enemy to me. My mind seemed to just reject the concept. This turn of events only made me firmer in my beliefs.
I was taken out of my thoughts by Homura stirring. Her face crinkled more before her eyes fluttered open. Our gazes locked.
Her eyes were as mesmerizing as ever.
"Madoka!" She jumped from her seat and leaned over me, eyes wide. Her hand was an inch from my cheek before she recoiled, tucking her hands back to her sides.
That little action hurt my heart more than the knife that pierced it prior.
All expression faded from her face as a familiar mask settled on it. "… I see you are doing better."
"Yes…" I studied her, but could not see past that mask. "…What happened?"
"…I found you unresponsive in the rain so I took you to my home." Homura bowed slightly. "I apologize for stripping you. I did not want you to get sick."
I probably should be more bothered that she saw me naked, but another thing was at the forefront of my mind.
She's lying.
I didn't know her that well, I shouldn't be able to pick up such tells. And I didn't, I just knew.
I wanted to prod at it, needed to prod at it, but I refrained. For now.
"Why didn't you take me to the hospital? If I was unresponsive?"
Homura's head jerked up, eyes wide as if I hadn't asked the simplest of questions. "I- I f-figured-" She stumbled over her words in a way that was oddly familiar.
Then the panic drained from her face, replaced by a steely determination.
She reached for me.
Instinct told not to allow it.
I grabbed her wrist.
She flinched like she had been burned and tried to pull away.
I did not let go. "Homura."
Her eyes darted between my gaze and her captured wrist. She did not respond.
"Homura, please. What happened?"
"Nothing happened." Her hand curled into a white knuckled fist. "Let me go."
There was some irony in that statement I could not understand.
I tightened my grip. "Not until you tell me the truth."
She regarded me silently before moving to reach out with her other hand.
I caught that one too.
Her brow creased in seeming anger, but I somehow sensed fear under it all. "…I told you the truth."
"Then why do I remember being stabbed?"
A pause. Too long to be truthful. "…You must have had a bad dream."
"Why are you lying to me?"
"I'm not."
"Do you think I'm stupid?" My vision swam with my sudden ferocity. It felt like the walls of the room were melting away.
We've done this before, haven't we?
Homura stood up. I could feel her heart beat as erratically as mine must be. "Of course I don't!"
"Then why?" The air trembled with power that I could almost grasp.
"Because you don't deserve to suffer!" She screamed. "You deserve to live a long, happy life far away anything that could ever hurt you!"
Something clicked.
Or perhaps several somethings.
I lost the strength to keep my head up.
"Homura…" My mouth was so dry. "Is that why… you disappeared after middle school?"
I could feel the muscles in her wrists tense further. "…My presence would only have brought you grief. Even as I have stayed so far away, my mere existence has caused you to suffer."
"Homura…" I hiccuped. "We aren't enemies… We could never be enemies."
"Do you even fully remember what I did to you?" She hissed.
I looked up with her with the eyes of every life, every precious precious life, she has given to me. "I don't need to. You just wanted to protect me. Just like you've always have."
The Devil rebelled, her power flaring up like her namesake. "I tore you in two! I stole your power! Trapped you here! You can't just forgive me like- like- I've done nothing!"
I just laughed, tears rolling down my face. "I always wondered why you were the only one whose fate I could not see. It seems that no matter I much I've tried to untangle our fates, we are still bound so tightly together."
Perhaps it was sinful to admit it, even just to myself, a part of me was happy that we were so intertwined. There was no one else I would rather be tied so intimately too. Sayaka might have been a passing thought but I could not possibly pick her after seeing the countless hells Homura had willing fought through just for a fleeting chance to save me.
And she was still fighting. In a hell of her own making. Literally and metaphorically.
But this was not a hell that she needed to go through, needed to stay in.
Why must the most wonderful girl in the world hate herself so much?
"Then you must understand," There was something frantic in Homura's eyes. "If you let me live, if you don't destroy me completely and utterly, I will only betray you again. Again and again and again until you finally strike me down."
"You haven't betrayed me." I whispered.
I hated this.
I hated seeing Homura like this.
Part of me wanted to let go and allow her to erase my memories in order to escape this suffocating moment.
But if I was suffering so much, she must be in unimaginable pain. And I could not ignore that.
She snarled like a cornered animal. "You cannot erase my sin like it never happened! Do you not feel the scars in reality where I tore your heaven asunder? The universe cries for justice! A justice that can only be brought about in blood! The only fate for the dog that bites the hand that feeds is death!"
"Do you think no one else has ever lashed out in pain? Do you think I have never lashed out? Do we all deserve oblivion for that?" I challenged. Please, just let me help you. We've done this song and dance before, in the Incubator's barrier. Do you really think things have changed that much?
"This is not lashing out!" Her face drew closer to mine as if our proximity would make her more convincing. "I defiled you! As a conscious choice!"
"Because you feared what the Incubators would do if they ever caught me. If you weren't there to stop them." She froze. I took this chance to let go of her wrists and cradle her cheeks, drawing her ever closer. "To be honest, I never saw if their plans would ever bare fruit. And I was never that worried about it. Despite their technical prowess, they are still fallible, just like any other being."
If there was ever a chance for her to wipe this all away, it was now. But she did not. She just stared back at me with a hurricane in her eyes.
"Greed was what had them bait the trap. The distance inkling of 'efficiency' was all it took for them to bite the hand that feeds. They were incapable of understanding how good they had it. Of course, they have been punished for their hubris. I'm sure you would have never rested until they were." I closed my eyes momentarily to take a breath. Again, she did not take advantage. "They are the ones at fault. Not you."
"But-"
I pressed a finger to her lips. "…Aren't you tired, Homura? You've been fighting for so long… isn't it time for at least a break?"
Tears welled up in her eyes.
"Shhh…" I curled my arms around her and dragged her into bed beside me. She didn't resist the slightest bit.
I eased her head into my chest and rested my head on hers.
"…This… this isn't over…" She muttered weakly.
"Of course not, my love." I gazed up passed the ceiling and into the swell of stars and galaxies. "It's only just began."