Chapter Text
“God, I hate him.”
Kenji mumbled to himself, passing Jake in the hallway. He’s being obnoxious, always is. Jake and his girlfriend are always together, though Jake does everything but pay attention to her though. Like coming up to kenji on the daily. It never bothered Kenji that much. In fact, he sort of enjoyed it.
“Why can’t he like someone like me?”
Kenji glanced over to him, Jake locked eyes with kenji for a second. Kenji looked away fast, attempting to speed walk before the shorter man grabbed his wing swiftly with a hard grip. “Oh look who it is, my favorite. Kenji, your existence annoys me.” He had a tone of confidence, the smirk on his face widened. “What you up to? Trying to find someone to be your first friend?” Jake let go, crossing his arms and resting his red wings with a confident posture. Still grinning like a dumbo of course.
Kenji turned over. “No. can you like, say something genuinely upsetting. You sound like some fucker out of Disney or something.” Kenji fixed his blonde hair. Moving the caramel streak into place. “If you think I’m so weird, why keep talking to me? Weirdo.”
Jakes cheeks went reddish. “I- I DON’T TALK TO YOU!! your- your just so gay you think so. Fag.” He stood straight, more rigid now. Kenji’s eyes went wide, “EXCUSE YOU? FAG? You can’t say that! Your-“ Jake rolled is eyes, then interrupted, “I can’t care less Kenji. Go back to your sister.” Jake walked away, leaving Kenji in shock.
Anaya turned to Jake, “What’s with you? Weirdo bothering you again?” Jake fixed his hat, “Yeah..He’s such a weirdo. He’s genuinely a burden to the world.” Anaya nodded in agreement, playing with her hair and leaning on Jake, “You should stop acknowledging him, he should know he doesn’t deserve to live.” Anaya snickered. Full confidence and bitch to her tone. Jake seemed to have an uncomfortable silence. “I don’t..know about that.” Jake mumbled in a confused tone. “Uhm..? It’s for the best, babe. If he commits then he does. It doesn’t bother either of us.” Anaya said picking at her nails. She was insensitive to this and didn’t care. Jake just nodded, forcing agreement even though he thought the opposite.
Jake had wandered off after school, it was late out by now, the stars set in the sky. Not like his parents care. He was trying to take his mind off what Anaya had said. It was bothering him, why would she hope that upon someone- and why wasn’t he? He toyed with the vape in his hand. Before taking a drag on it. He rested his wings and kept walking on the side walk.
He looked up, and spotted Kenji’s house. Damn it, why does he always end up around this idiots house. He turned around, heading back home in attempt to forget how he instinctively went to Kenji’s house when in the worst of his thoughts. The walk back was the worst, he didn’t want to go home. Everyone sucks, no one around him is real. No one around him cares or knows about him in a deep way wants. But he didn’t want them to know at the same time..it’s..confusing.
~
The next day, early in the morning. Kenji woke up and got ready, putting eyeliner on that he stole from his sister Sara. Sara called him out, “We’re leaving right now! Come on Kenji!” He ran out, “My bad- I was grabbing my stuff.” She smiled, putting her hand on her hip and tilting her head a bit. “No sweat, let’s go. Grab your skate board.”
Kenji walked the halls, and thought to himself, “I wish Sara could always be with me. But she’s a junior, she doesn’t have any classes with me..” He got to his locker, looking inside it. And sorting his books, grabbing some for his first period. “I wish I could get Jake to be my friend again. But NOO he decides to be around those..fuckers. Whatever. I’m better anyway.” He snickered before realizing he was laughing at nothing. He got a bit embarrassed, and pulled his hair a bit. Before shutting his locker and walking off.
Jake was talking with Anaya, not really though. He was deep in thought. Always, he never really was interested in her, but rather the fact her blonde hair reminded him of someone. But he can’t say why. Not that he cares, Anaya was clearly more popular and better than..whoever he was thinking of. And it couldn’t be a guy, No way! Gays are wrong.
Kenji wasn’t looking where he was going, and ran right into someone. Hitting the floor. “What’s your problem idiot? Can’t use those glasses for what they’re meant for? God Kenji you’re so stupid.” Kenji recognized the voice, it was Jake. He got up, fixing his t-shirt and pants. “Why do you always..say stuff. I literally haven’t done anything to you” Kenji said sharply. Crossing his arms. Standing straight.
“Well- your- you’re gay. Yeah.” Jake said weakly, attempting to win the argument. Kenji stared at him for a moment, then rubbed his head. “That’s..dumb.” Jake grumbled, clearly losing. “Y-YOUR DUMBER!” Kenji sighed, “I’m not! You literally have all F’s and I have all A’s you fucking reject.” Jake furrowed his eyebrows, slightly embarrassed how fast he just shut up. Then toyed with his lip piercing. Kenji averted his gaze. His shoulders slumped.
“How..can I get you to stop.” Jake raised a brow, his attention back. Tilting his head forward. “Stop what? Stop you from being-“ “No.” Kenji cut him off, resting his arms on his sides. He sighed. “Stop..saying mean things. Or..whatever.” Jake’s eyebrows lifted, he tilted his head back again, his eyes narrowing. “Hm, I dunno. How bout…hmm..” he thought for a long moment, just now realizing Anaya had left for who knows how long.
“Sneak out, with me” Jake put a smug face on. “You’re not brave enough to, since you’re a pussy and care too much about school shit.” Kenji crossed his arms, “And if I do?” He met Jakes eyes again. Jake whistled softly, “Then I’ll stop, hell, I’ll even hear out what you have to say.” Jake smirked confidently, always does, Kenji’s face changed, “Fuck- Fine. Deal, I’ll do it.” Kenji’s rushed out his words without thinking. That was stupid….
“Meet at ***********. 6pm, Don’t be late, alright?” Jake said with an oddly serious tone. Putting his hands into is pockets. “Uh..yeah.” Kenji nodded while speaking, hunching over a bit. As if he was unsure what he agreed to. Jake grinned, then walked away to go find his girlfriend. Kenji turned over, and headed to class. This was gonna be a long day…wasn’t it.
~
They met up later that day. Kenji spotted Jake awkwardly kicking a rock. “So..why are we even here?” Jake jumped, startled at Kenji. He tried to play it off, it didn’t work. “We’re…finding something.” Kenji raised a brow, “Be specific.” “A light fairy.” Jake said with full confidence.
Those are extinct, or so said. Kenji stared, then his face shifted to confusion, and doubt. “Uh…man, I hate to burst your bubble, but light fairies aren’t around anymore, yah know. It’s only fire, water, nature and ice.”
Jake grumbled, “DUHHHH that’s the point idiot! We’re trying to find oneeee.” Kenji put his hands up in innocence. “My bad my bad! Didn’t know.” Jake rolled his eyes, “Obviously you stupid pretty boy.” Kenji’s cheeks warmed. He had an odd soft spot when Jake unintentionally compliments him.
This idiot, why does he always get fluster when I say things. Makes me want to take it back.
“Oh quit it weirdo. Use a spell and make our wings disappear. Can’t risk getting spotted by humans.” Kenji nodded in agreement, then used a simple spell they learnt in junior high. Jake grinned, “Perfect, let’s go. Keep up nerd.” Kenji followed, un-phased by Jakes comment.
They reached a deep part of the forest, they were sitting in a bush. Jake was holding binoculars looking for something while hiding. Kenji just sat quietly, unsure what to do. He looked at Jake, who kept shushing him every few minutes. The moon reflected Jakes eyebrow piercing, the gold color appealed Jakes tan skin nicely. Kenji always thought Jake was attractive, or to word it better, hot.
“Ugh! Nothing! Come onnnnnnuhh!” Jake whined. “So uhhhh….why did you uh….bring me here with you.” Jake rolled his eyes, “Because the deal, obviously. You have good grades and yet can’t realize the obvious.” He used a tone that sounded almost like it was obvious. “No- but like, why with someone? Wouldn’t this be better alone?”
Jake grumbled, “No reason..” turning his head away. “Stop lying.” Kenji could clearly hear Jake forcing a lie out. “Ugh..because..uh..” Kenji made a face. “Because I don’t..wanna be alone?…” Jake said nervously. “Fucking pussy” Kenji said with annoyance, “But why me?” His tone shifted dramatically. Jake put the binoculars down. “Because I….” Jake hesitated. Kenji’s facial expression was pushing him too much for his liking. “Stop..making that face.” Kenji made a worse face, “What face! I’m literally not even-!” Jake shushed him. “Just..shut it.”
Kenji grumbled, “No! Tell me!” Kenji pushed, Jake snapped back, “BECAUSE I LIKE YOU IDIOT I-“ the silence after he abruptly cut off was too loud. Jake just made stumbled out noise after, “NO- that’s not- UGH!” Kenji just watched Jake cause noise pollution at this point. “You like me?” Kenji raised a brow. Jake got uncomfortable. He knew his face was most likely red by now.
“No…?..” Kenji didn’t believe him. “No- don’t shut out- ugh! I hate when you do that.” Kenji shifted, his own face flushing. “I like you too- if that makes you feel better.” Jake tensed, “IT DOESN’T! SHUT UP!” Jakes face went redder. Kenji sighed, looking away. There was an awkward silence. “I mean it..I do like you-“ Kenji abruptly stopped, “OK ENOUGH-“ Kenji rushed those words out.
Jake couldn’t help it anymore. Kenji looked too perfect like this. He caught Kenji while he was talking, taking his lips in. For a split second he heard kenji scream, “JA-“ before cut off by the kiss. Jake pushed him to behind the bush, kenji didn’t shove him, he kissed him deeper. He slung his arm around Jakes neck. Deepening the kiss. He grabbed Jakes red hoodie. Jake didn’t know what he was doing, or why. It felt right. But this right was so wrong.
Kenji kept pushing Jake deeper, Kenji’s lip piercing was poking his upper lip. He can’t quite remember the name of them, angel fangs, kitty fangs? It didn’t matter. All that mattered to Jake at the moment is what his mouth was touching. This was nothing like Anayas kisses. It’s the same technique, same way, but it was so..different.
And he hated that. Why of all people, Kenji was the one who done this.
Jake pushed off Kenji once drool was sort of leaking down his chin. His sense coming back to him who he just decided to kiss. He jumped off, flustered. Kenji looked a bit dazed out, probably just as confused. “Ehe….wanna go again?” He smiled slightly.
Jake face flushed, “FUCK OFF!” He scrambled away. Leaving Kenji lying on the floor.
Kenji sat up. Staring at Jake who was trying to hide. “I…I think we need to go.” Jake seemed tense, “Obviously…” his tone was soft, no cockiness to it. Kenji thought this was fine earlier. But after a moment, he started thinking to himself on why this was wrong, what he done. How could we go back to what we were? How could we go back to hating each other? How could we be friends ever again? His brain seemed to rush with anxiety. Did he ruin everything…?
Kenji got up, trying to think of what do to. He swallowed hard. “I-I’m-“ he stuttered, he hated being that pathetic in front of someone like Jake. He shifted. “Uh- I- how-“ Jake rubbed his head in annoyance, Kenji went quiet. He made it worse. Kenji overthinks to much, it literally was 1 minute ago.
Jake watched Kenji seem to just turn himself to a puddle. What the hells wrong with him? He doesn’t like when people are emotional. “Uhm..stop that.” Kenji shifted awkwardly. “No- I don’t- I’m not shaming you..or..anything.” Kenji let out a breath of relief before Jake grabbed Kenji by his sleeve. “Let’s…leave. I’ll drive you home, ok..” He felt bad. It doesn’t feel good when he got to Kenji like that.
~
Jake drove while the music played, it was his playlist. The car was old and worn out, Kenji didn’t have any opinion on it earlier. But he made a face. After a few minutes, “Circles” By Pierce The Veil played. Kenji’s face changed, “You..like them?” Jake stared at the road ahead, “Uh..yeah.” Kenji’s face lit up, “Oh- They’re my favorite band! I love this song!” Kenji never ever looked brighter, Jakes face was getting warm, he could tell. Luckily, the car was too dark to see it.
“I-..Uhm…yeah…me too” he smiled a bit, before quickly stopping and looking back to the road. He pulled up to Kenji’s house, which he knew the way to. Kenji raised a brow, “And..How do you know this is my house.” Jake grumbled, “Just get out..!” Kenji grinned. “Oh ok….stalker.” Before he bolted out the car and tried putting his keys in as fast as possible. Jake’s face went into shock. “YOU-!” He jumped out the car.
Kenji screamed, and ran inside. Jake banged on the door before giving up. He could hear kenji laughing. His chest felt warm, and he ran to his car, got in fast and drove off. He didn’t go home immediately. He listened to Pierce The Veil. The entire ride. Kenji and Him don’t like each other. This will never happen again. They will never talk again. Right.
Jake parked at home. And attempted to walk through the door quickly. His parents are arguing. The house smells horrid. He used his hoodie to cover the smell, walking down the hall to his room. He fell onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. He took his shoes off, and opened his window. He took his vape out. He vaped until his head felt fuzzy, and he felt tired of being alive again. He stared at the pencil sharpener on his desk. Then back at the roof.
That’s wrong. I can’t do it again.
He put his vape away. “Fuck..” he mumbled. He rolled over on his bed. Staring out the window. He took his phone out, and opened Vine. Trying to find something positive out of this hot mess. Before he dozed off.
But woke up at 2 am. His parents screaming again. His head hurt, his everything hurt, that blade on the desk was looking too good at the moment. He took his hoodie off. And looked at his arms. They have scars, they are ugly. He felt angry, he can’t control it. He leaned into his hands, “This is all my fault.” He mumbled.
~
“You were out late.” Sara said sharply. Kenji’s laughter died down. “Uh..yeah..my bad.” She raised a brow, “That’s it? My bad? Where the hell were you? I told you be back by 9! It’s 9:30!” She crossed her arms. “I’m..sorry.” Kenji tensed, making a guilty face. She folded immediately. “It’s..fine. Just…don’t do it again, ok? It would hurt if I lost you too.” Kenji’s face softend. “I know, I should’ve thought of that..” there was a silence. “You were laughing, what’s that about?” He raised his eyebrows. “Just uh…hanging..with..someone..” he clicked his tongue at the end.
“…”Someone” Huh? Who?” She smirked and tilted her head in a cheeky way, “Was it…Lil ol Jake?” She grinned. Kenji made a shy expression. “Uh…” he rested his hand at the back of his neck. Then on his arm. “Yeah..” “I KNEW IT!” She said with confidence. “You two, I swear. What did ya do?” Kenji thought for a moment, before the brief memory of Jakes face in the moonlight came to mind. His cheeks warmed. “We..went to the…park. Yeah” he lied through his teeth, close enough..? She didn’t buy it. But he was safe, and that meant it didn’t really matter then.
He walked to his room, setting his skate board down before lying in bed. He sighed softly. He wondered what Jake was doing. Probably sleeping, after all it is 9:30. He took his beanie off and kicked his shoes off. He opened his phone and checked the date, “1/17/2013 9:38 Thursday” he sat his phone down. He picked up a comic book and rolled over on his Batman pillow.
Eventually he got up and changed to sleepwear. He wiped off his eyeliner and brushed out his short hair. His wings folded. He deactivated them and the flame went out. He laid back down, and got under his blanket. And over to his room.
I really just kissed my bully. The one that hates me most.
Kenji contemplated things, shifting every minute. Trying to find a way, a thought, something. It wasn’t working. Why did this happen? How could he let it? And why did he like it. It’s Jake, he’s hated him for 2 years now. It doesn’t magically go away. Especially not after he bullied you every day, relentlessly. He put his earbuds in. And started playing music. He put Pierce The Veil. This seriously wasn’t helping.
This was seriously just a weak excuse to think of him again. Really? Am I that desperate?
Kenji threw his head back, taking his earbuds out. Looking at his room. Posters everywhere, comics, more. This was all so tiring, too much to think about, too much to want and too much to ask. But it was better than lying to himself. He messed with his blonde hair.
Kenji stayed up till 2 in the morning. How stupid. He rolled over and over tiredly. He noticed Jake was online. He pulled up messages, “Hi” he bit his lip nervously. Jake read it immediately….Kenji gulped hard, and sat up, “Fuck! Bad idea…!” He whispered. He curled up, before a soft ‘Ding’ played.
“Hey” …it just said hey. No sweat, right? “Why u aeake” he mistyped. “AWAKE*” he corrected quickly. “It’s 2 am, I can ask you the same.” Jakes reply was dry. “I asked first :O” Kenji replied back. “Too noisy to sleep. Your turn …” Kenji smiled a bit, “Can’t sleep, I’m bored.” “I’m not, bye :/“ Kenji snickered, “Do you h8 me that much? Then why do you still have my number and shiz”
Jake grumbled at the message, Kenji knew. Or he thought..”Becuz I don’t feel like removing it?” Jake put the sharpener. His arms stung, but it doesn’t matter, he took out his bandaids and covered them. “U sure? XD” Jake hated how much Kenji’s dumb texting calmed him out of his moment. He felt the rush of emotion run out, and tiredness hit him like a truck. “Fuck..” he laid down, “Bye” He texted lazily, and fell asleep fast. “HUH? O.O” Kenji replied before never getting a reply back.
~
Jake woke up to pure silence in the house, he sat up, his head hurt. He felt tired despite so much sleep. And his hair was a mess again. He put his hoodies on and got dressed. He reminded himself what he done last night, but couldn’t remember who. He rubbed his head, getting a headache from thinking so much at 6 am in the morning. His arms ached and he looked at them. Eyeballing the cuts. All he thought, was if he could do it, then he deserved it.
He picked up his phone, noticing the message from Kenji. He re-read all that happened last night. Remembering how Kenji stopped him and made him put the sharpener blade down without even knowing he had helped. It’s embarrassing, he relied on Kenji to stop myself. Idiot. He thought, trying to puzzle everything together.
It hit him, that was Kenji. Kenji was the one he kissed last night, snuck out with, and more. The one he drove home, and the one he had bonded with. Idiot. How could he have done something so stupid.
He grumbled in annoyance. Trying to comprehend the fact he’d done something so idiotic. The worst part was it was before he had vaped, so it was completely in his own natural mind. He walked out, looking around at the house. He pitied his parents. He walked over and started cleaning the house, throwing the trash out and cleaning the bottles of what he thought was alcohol. He went to his living room, trying to figure out what he missed last night. He spotted his parents laying down on the couch, of course, drunk and mad yet still decided to be fuck buddies. Great.
He grumbled in annoyance, why can’t they just divorce or something? Break up? He can’t tell if they’re married or not. He quickly picked up the living room, and then decided to tidy it. He always hated chores, but he forces himself to do them anyway. Since if he didn’t his parents, or rather his mother, would yell at him. He walked to the bathroom, assuming it was also a mess. It was. So he began cleaning it as well. He mopped the bathroom floor and finished up.
He got into his car, and put his hat on that was on the passenger seat. He drove to school and parked, and spotted Anaya. She smiled and waved at him. “Hey babe, got some stuff for me?” She said with a cool tone, tilting her head to the side cutely. He shifted awkwardly, he had forgotten to stop at the gas station. “Uhm…sorry, no.” He put his hands into his pockets, he was hungry too. But it didn’t bother him that much. Anaya’s entire body shifted, she frowned and narrowed her eyes. “Seriously? You can’t remember one easy task I give you! You’re such a dummy Jake!” She groaned in annoyance.
“Well I’m not required to! Do it yourself!” Jake snapped back, already upset from his parents earlier that day. “Jake I don’t feel like dealing with you at 8:30 a.m.! I’m leaving, hopefully you can think through what you’ve done. Brat” she flicked her hair back and turned around, storming off. Jake leaned his head on his steering wheel, smacking it onto the horn until he realized the honking was annoying.
I hate my life.
~
Kenji saw Jake slamming his head into the steering wheel, actually, both him and Sara did. They exchanged confused looks, then started laughing. “Why the hell would he be ramming his head into it like that??” Kenji snickered. “So much for the most ‘nonchalant’ guy here” Sara laughed.
Kenji walked inside school, him and Sara split and she walked to her own friends. Kenji walked to his locker and began his usual day. Kenji likes school, except…for P.E. It is currently their swimming unit, and fire fairies can’t fly during it due to the fact the water puts out the flame on their wings, or the thermal energy. Whatever it’s called. Kenji had P.E. Right before lunch too, could life be any worse? It can, because he shares the period with Jake.
Kenji headed to math, which he shared with Jakes girlfriend, Anaya. Kenji overheard her talking, “Ugh hes so dumb! He cant buy me shit without saying stuff like “I got busy” or “I’m not feeling well” he’s such a baby, like stop whining we all know he’s got the best parents ever.” Anaya said in a bratty tone, fixing her blonde hair. Kenji knew what she said wasn’t true. Jakes parents never show up to anything, or go anywhere. Doesn’t sound exactly good.
Kenji reminded himself on what he done last night, and immediately reminded himself why not to interfere with Anaya. Shit, if she found out bad stuff would happen. It’s best stay quiet and act like the usual. Act like we hate each other, and that I don’t associate with Jake. Easy.
Easy
Easy…
Right?
Yeah.
Before he knew it, the period had ended. He got up, taking his bag and passing period began. Anaya walked up to Jake. Kenji didn’t bother listening this time. Not his business. All that mattered at the moment was getting to science now, and that was that. He grabbed his science book and walked off, they were doing potionolodgy today. Which was basically fancy chemistry with magical elements. Except our half of the school was fairies, so it was mostly fairies unless some sort of species or something got lost from their side of the school. As long as humans didn’t enter fairy territory, then it’s fine.
Kenji continued through most his classes until 4th period. He hated swimming, and getting wet before lunch? Gross. Despite that, Kenji participates anyway because his grades matter if he wants to graduate. In the locker room, he changed to swim wear and walked back out. Everyone had to be seated on the bleachers. Jake was sitting on the bleachers in his swimsuit as well. Their swimsuits were black, long sleeve and had you wear swim shorts that were also back.
Jake can’t swim. But no one knew that.
Jake seemed nervous, Kenji scooted over. “Fuck off” Jake said sharply, staring kenji down. “Damn ok” Kenji scooted away. Tilting his head to the side. “Why you so..tense?” Kenji raised a brow, turning to Jake. “No reason, go away.” Jake used a cold tone, but his voice wavered slightly. “Right..” Kenji looked away, leaning his head onto his hand.
“About…yesterday.” Kenji mumbled. His tone soft.
Jake tensed up, and swallowed hard. “What about it.” He forced through his teeth.
“Were you being..honest?..”
Jake stared Kenji down, I don’t wanna answer that.