Chapter Text
From the day he was born, Robin knew who he was supposed to grow into and had no doubts about how his life would go. Sure, small curveballs were thrown his way but they were manageable. Like when Finney presented at fourteen instead of seventeen. The fact that he was early wasn’t the issue, but no one expected Finney Blake to present as an alpha.
For years prior to presenting, Finney was the one being bullied and cowering at the prospect of a fight.
Then, he woke up one morning toward the end of their freshman year and realized that he had presented as an alpha. It shook most of their class to the core, especially the ones who used to go after him, because no one expected it and Finney was the first in their class to present. At no point did Finney’s personality change or did he act differently, but everyone gave him a wide berth except Robin.
They were best friends and Robin didn’t have to ask to know why Finney’s presentation was triggered.
It was common knowledge that sometimes people presented earlier as an instinctual mechanism to protect themselves. Finney’s dad had gotten worse around that time; he was drinking more than ever and his physical abuse had increased. While Finney was never one to fight back, he was more inclined to step in at home to protect his little sister, to take the hits without complaints because he didn’t have the strength to fight back.
The days following Finney’s presentation, the abuse and drinking stopped almost cold turkey. He didn’t change his personality at school or with Robin, but he took control of his household that same week. His dad was a beta and had only maintained his power over his kids by scaring them, so minute Finney stood up to him with a newfound confidence and intimidating scent, Terrence had crumbled. Even now, three years later, Finney still took charge of his household and his dad stayed sober because he didn’t really have much of a choice.
Robin had been at Finney’s during the presentation because Finney insisted that having his best friend around would help ease the process. Robin was shocked by the shift in his best friend’s demeanor at home; when they were younger, Finney always took shelter at Robin’s. He would tell Gwen to go to a friend’s house and then hide himself at the Arellano household to avoid Terrence’s wrath.
Until Finney’s presentation, Robin had only been to his house a few times and it was only ever when Terrence wasn’t around.
Now, though, Robin could show up whenever and Terrence would be drinking a glass of water or juice and reading while listening to a record. They never interacted outside of the basic greetings because Robin had no interest. He could tell Terrence was intimidated by Finney, something that Robin would’ve never thought possible. The few times where Terrence said or did anything unprompted, Finney would cast a sharp glare, growl, and spit tense words that got the man to shut up.
But, really, Finney didn’t change that much in the three years outside of the way he interacted with his dad.
Not to Robin, at least. Sure, Finney had gotten a little taller and, between his presentation and playing baseball for the school, he had grown far stronger. Still, his personality hadn’t really changed. Finney was still the same person Robin had always known. He was funny, sweet, smart, sarcastic; all things that Robin loved about him.
They started dating around the time Robin turned fifteen and Finney still had a month until his birthday. Secretly, Robin had been head over heels for Finney since the day they met and he was pretty sure that Finney knew that but was nice enough not to tease him for it. At the start, Robin was a little nervous because he was absolutely certain that he’d have the same presentation as Finney.
Robin was never one for caring about stereotypes; he’d been breaking rules since he learned what they were. So, while he was nervous for his presentation because two alphas being together wasn’t the norm, it definitely was not a deal breaker for him. The stereotypical expectations didn’t matter; they’d be fine, they always were.
That’s what he thought.
Until he woke up in the middle of the night in April.
There was pain coursing through him when he was abruptly awoken from the unexpected sensation. It was a burning, uncomfortable feeling; his head was pounding, his limbs felt heavy, his mind was blurry, and he needed to throw up. His immediate reaction was that he must be dying; no one woke up feeling like this unless they were knocking on death’s door.
Through the haze in his mind, he managed to drag himself out of bed and get to the bathroom. It felt like it took hours to get there and his whole body wracked with shudders and chills as he hunched over the toilet and threw up. Tears were streaming down his face from gagging and every part of him hurt.
The door opened and Robin barely glanced up to see his brother standing wide eyed and concerned before vanishing down the stairs. Robin didn’t get a chance to ask for help; he was hit with another wave of nausea. For the past few days he had felt a little off, but he definitely didn’t feel like this when he was falling asleep. This was pure agony.
Footsteps echoed from the stairs after a few minutes and a cold washcloth was set on the back of his neck. It made him shiver but also relieved some of the miserable heat; he couldn’t be sure if he appreciated it or not. His nausea mostly passed and he sat down to lean back against the bathtub. Both his mom and Ernesto were in the vicinity, though Ernesto was hovering just outside the door instead of actually being in the room.
“Do I need to go to the hospital?” Robin asked because he still had no explanation for his sudden illness but it was far more extreme than anything he’d encountered in his life. “I think I’m dying.”
His mom almost looked humored which threw Robin off because what kind of parent finds it funny that their favorite child is dying?
“Robin, you’re not dying,” his mom, Claudia, said as she sat down beside him. “You presented.”
“I thought it wasn’t supposed to hurt,” Robin mumbled weakly, taking the washcloth from his neck and using it to wipe the sweat off of his face. “Finn said it just feels like a head cold for a couple days.”
“Well, he’s an alpha.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Claudia stared at him blankly for a few seconds, trying to determine his thought process. Realization flickered in her eyes. “Robin, you’re not an alpha.”
Robin narrowed his eyes to try to figure out if she was lying to him. It felt wrong to think that way; she’d never lied to him before, but alphas didn’t feel like this when they presented and neither did betas. Most betas he knew didn’t even realize they presented until someone told them because there were so few changes with them outside of their scent. It was hard for anyone to recognize their own scent, so that was understandable.
A sharp pain resonated through his gut, pulling him from the silent staring match he was having with his mom.
Why was he in so much pain?
The realization suddenly hit him like a ton of bricks and he surged forward to throw up again.
This couldn’t be happening, this wasn’t supposed to happen. He wasn’t supposed to be an omega, he was supposed to be like Finney or at least the general population that was made up of betas. Robin was a protector and a fighter and omegas weren’t like that. Sure, he didn’t like conforming to stereotypes or think they mattered, but it was hard not to let the horror stories he’d heard flood his mind.
What would Finney say?
The easy answer was that obviously Finney wouldn’t say anything and would accept like the annoyingly good person he was. They did technically now fit the mold of what society expected, but that wasn’t what Robin really cared about. People would look at him differently now, like he was less. It would be like when they started to fear Finney when he presented, but the exact opposite. They would fear Robin less.
How was he supposed to hold onto the reputation he built when he’d changed so dramatically in one night?
Robin wanted to cry and scream and have the floor swallow him whole.
“Mijo, you’re tired and don’t feel well. You should go back to bed,” Claudia said in a soothing tone when Robin’s vomiting ceased. She gently rubbed his back like she was comforting a scared animal and not talking to her seventeen year old son.
Which, to be fair, Robin did feel like a scared animal in that moment. His skin was itchy, everything hurt, he was overheating and freezing simultaneously, and he wanted to hide from the world for the rest of his life. And, he was exhausted on top of all of that. Everything was going wrong right now and there was nothing he could do.
“Robin,” Claudia said when he remained silent. “Go to bed.”
Robin didn’t want to get up, but he was definitely inclined to hide under his covers for the next forty years. His whole body felt heavy when he pushed himself off the ground and he almost stumbled when he did. It was embarrassing to have his mom catch him and help guide him back to his room, but exhaustion was winning out and he was far too tired to argue like he usually would.
The blankets on his bed were drenched with sweat and nausea curled in his gut again, but he demanded that his mom and Ernesto leave him alone when they seemed to question why he’d paused to stare at his bed. As soon as the door was shut, Robin tore all of the blankets and sheets off of the bed and laid down on the bare mattress. It wasn’t comfortable or soothing in any sense and the smell of the mattress wasn’t right but he didn’t even know what that meant.
Why did something familiar smell weird? He’d never had any of those thoughts or sense before.
Robin wasn’t dumb, he knew that presentation meant that some senses would get way stronger but the new senses weren’t all that insightful. Nothing felt right but he didn’t know how to fix it. There weren’t many times in his life where he couldn’t talk or fight his way out of something, so this was an uncomfortable anomaly.
It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair.
Robin was the protector in his family. He was the one who was the leader in all of his relationships, but the world said that omegas weren’t supposed to do that. He had been confident in who he was but this was a wrench in his expectations.
Exhaustion was taking over but his sleep was restless. The temperature of his body kept fluctuating between too hot and too cold, inevitably leading to him trying to roll himself up in one of the blankets and sweating through it. At no point did Robin ever fully fall asleep. By the time the sun streamed through the window, he was seething and wanted to fight the sun.
Robin could hear Ernesto getting up and ready for school, but he didn’t move. He was not going to school today or ever again if he could avoid it. His mom would be lucky if she managed to get him out of his room in the next two months. Living in one room wouldn’t be too bad; he’d have to leave to go to the bathroom but he could guilt Ernesto into bringing him snacks.
It wouldn’t be the best living situation, but he could manage.
The door opened and Robin hid himself in his singular blanket. “Go away,” he mumbled, not bothering to check who it was. He really didn’t have to; his senses were strong enough now that he could match his family members up with their scent.
That was new and would’ve been way cooler if he wasn’t so pissed off about his presentation. Prior to presenting, Robin could pick out Finney’s scent because once someone presented, their scent got stronger and was detectable especially if it was someone who they were in close proximity with. So, Robin knew Finney and Claudia’s scents, but not Ernesto’s because before presentation it wasn’t that strong. Now that Robin’s senses have strengthened, he could pick up on Ernesto’s.
Robin didn’t know what his scent was and couldn’t tell even now, but Finney had described it before. Finney said it wasn’t as strong and wouldn’t be until after presenting, but they’d been close enough for it to be noticeable. Robin understood what he meant now; Ernesto was fifteen and a couple of years from presenting, but his scent stood out more now that Robin had presented and was more sensitive to it.
“Why’d you tear your bed apart?” Ernesto asked, ignoring Robin’s demand.
“Because I wanted to, it’s not your business. Get out.”
“Mamá said you don’t have to go to school, but I wanted to see if you needed anything.”
“I need you to get out and leave me the fuck alone,” Robin snapped, still covering his whole frame and face with the blanket. “Don’t tell anyone what happened, just say I’m sick.”
“Why? It’s not like it’s going to change.”
Robin sat up and threw a pillow as hard as he could at his brother. It wasn’t a very strong throw, but it connected with his target. “Get the fuck out!” he yelled, tense and ready to throw a punch at any moment.
Robin had never hurt Ernesto before, but today he was feeling more tempted than ever.
Thankfully, Ernesto seemed to understand how frustrated Robin was and opted to quickly leave the room and hustled to shut the door behind him. It didn’t make Robin feel any better; white-hot anger and aggression were coursing through his whole body for no good reason. All of his emotions were out of control; even in past fights, Robin couldn’t remember ever feeling this worked up.
Maybe five years ago when Finney came to class nearly in tears with a black eye and bloody nose, but that kneejerk reaction stemmed from never having actually seen Finney cry before. When he was younger and got bullied, Finney had always refused to cry. It was unsettling to see him in tears and Robin interrogated him until he found out who caused it. That was one of the few times that Robin threw the first punch and got a whole week of detention for the damage he caused.
No part of him regretted the choice he made.
Robin got up and started to pace his room. He wanted to go outside and walk off the angry energy running through him, but he couldn’t. He knew that his scent was probably wildly aggressive right now even if he couldn’t identify what it was. His scent would clue everyone in his vicinity that he’d presented and he didn’t want them to know. Not now, not ever.
Maybe he could get those super strong scent blockers that would make him seem like a beta. The fleeting thought vanished as quickly as it appeared; his mom would never allow that. The strong blockers had been proven to be dangerous to young people and could apparently mess with their hormones and all of that gross cycle stuff that was unsettling to think about.
A knock at his door pulled him from his angry haze. The intense emotions didn’t fade, but he paused from his stewing and opened it.
Claudia looked around his room and the chaos he’d created. “Let’s get all of those blankets washed and then you need to eat and hydrate.” Her tone left no room for argument, even if it was still kind and gentle.
Robin huffed, hating himself for feeling inclined to listen. He knew he usually listened to her in general, but chose to blame the obedience on his stupid hormones. Terrible, unnecessary hormones that were now his reality because his body betrayed him and made him an omega.
“Vamos, you’re not hiding in here all day,” Claudia said firmly, entering the room and picking up half of the blankets. “Are you in pain at all?”
“No,” Robin lied. He was still sore; both his stomach and head were torturing him right now but he was not giving into the new feelings. “I feel fine.”
Claudia had an expression that showed how much she didn’t buy his lie, but she didn’t push. She turned to leave the room and ordered Robin to grab the rest of the blankets and follow. Every few steps she would check over her shoulder and make sure he was trailing, which only irritated Robin more but he couldn’t really blame her.
If he didn’t respect his mom in the way he did, Robin would’ve abandoned the blankets and gone back to his room. He had been dumb to think she would go easy on him. Technically, asking him to leave his room and telling him to eat wasn’t really difficult; it was more about making sure he wasn’t wallowing in self hatred.
It was annoying.
Besides, his mom couldn’t understand what he was going through. She was a beta and never had to deal with the horrible cycles that the other designations did. Robin corrected his own thoughts; she probably kind of understood the alpha side of it because Robin’s dad had been an alpha.
So, obviously, Robin assumed like an idiot that he would be like one of his two parents.
Robin pushed that thought aside and threw the blankets into the washer with much more attitude than necessary. He caught the sharp look from his mom and averted his eyes. Even pissed off, going toe to toe with his mom wasn’t smart. Robin was strong willed, but he didn’t think he’d ever win a battle of stubbornness against his mom or Finney. Those two were a league of their own.
“I’m not hungry,” Robin said once the washer was started.
“You haven’t eaten much over the last three days.”
“Yeah, because I didn’t feel good and I don’t feel any better.”
Claudia raised an eyebrow. “I thought you said that you feel fine.”
“I do, but not enough to be hungry,” Robin lied again, his voice far more whiny than he wanted it to be.
As he expected, his complaints went ignored and he ended up sitting on one of the kitchen chairs with his knees pulled to his chest while his mom started cooking. The pain in his head had improved the tiniest bit, but a burning sensation was still coursing through his gut. Robin knew it was solely because of the presentation, but it made his mind start to spiral over what a heat cycle would feel like.
Yeah, fuck no, he needed a doctor, suppressants, and scent blockers. He was not going to have a heat cycle; that was disgusting and Robin had no interest in entertaining it.
Medicating was the most reasonable course of action. Even if his mom didn’t like it, Robin was confident he would be miserable for the rest of his life if he held off from those fixes. It was irrational; if things were different and Finney had been the one to present as an omega, Robin would never want him to potentially hurt himself for something that didn’t really need to be changed.
It was different, though. No one would be expecting this from Robin and it was unfair that he had to be faced with that challenge. It was legitimately the only presentation result he didn’t expect.
A mug of tea was set in front of Robin and he didn’t hide his disdain. He hated tea but always got roped into drinking it when he didn’t feel well. If being an omega meant he had to drink tea more than he already had to, he hated it more. Finding new things to hate about himself was definitely abnormal; Robin had always felt comfortable with himself and confident.
These new feelings were fucking pathetic.
Two red pills were set next to the mug.
“You need to be hydrating,” Claudia said. “And take those for the pain.”
Robin didn’t bring up that he said he was fine earlier. He knew he’d just be called on his bullshit and end up admitting that he lied about not being in pain even though she obviously had guessed. As much as he hated any kind of tea, the herbal tea in his mug was the most tolerable and he drank half of it in one go with the pills. It wasn’t hot enough to burn him, but warmth still spread through his chest.
“Why are you upset about it, mijo?” Claudia asked, setting a plate of food on the table.
“I’m not,” Robin lied. He picked up his fork and stabbed at a piece of potato way harder than necessary.
“No me mientas,” Claudia gently scolded. “Ernesto said you were upset this morning.”
“He should mind his own business.”
“Robin.”
“I’m fine, Mamá.”
Claudia let the matter drop even if she obviously didn’t believe him. She started doing dishes and occasionally glanced over to scold Robin over picking at his food instead of eating. Once she was done, she sat across from him and waited for him to finish his meal since they both knew he would try to escape to his room if she wasn’t looking.
Robin struggled to get through his meal. He had no appetite or interest, but he wasn’t dumb and knew that bodies got weaker right after a presentation. Robin was particularly weak right now with his rough night spent throwing up and sweating out every drop of water in his body. Reluctantly, he drank all of his tea after finishing his meal.
“We need to make you a doctor’s appointment,” Claudia said. “Now that you’ve presented you can see a specialist and they can help you track your cycles and ensure your body is adapting to all of the changes.”
Nauseating. It was disgusting to hear out loud. Robin absolutely knew what changes she was referring to and chose to ignore thinking about them because those things were going to make him spiral.
Luckily, his mom didn’t seem to want a response; she got up to leave the room after saying she was going to call the doctor and schedule an appointment because they both knew Robin wouldn’t. Before she could make the call, her phone started ringing in her hand.
Claudia narrowed her eyes in confusion and answered. “Aren’t you supposed to be in class, Finney?” she asked, disapproval in her tone. “Yes, he’s at home.”
“I’m sick!” Robin whispered urgently, hoping his mom wouldn’t expose him. To his annoyance, she handed over the phone and Robin gave a forced cough before putting the phone to his ear. “Hey, Finn. What’s happening?”
“Hey,” Finney responded. “Ernesto said you were sick.”
“What, you think he’s lying or something?” Robin asked. He spoke too quickly and wanted to punch himself for it.
Finney was quiet for a few seconds. “No?” He sounded confused. “I just was saying that’s what he told me. Why weren’t you answering your phone?”
“Why are you using your phone in school? Don’t you have math right now?”
“I have over one hundred percent in that class, I can skip. Why weren’t you answering?”
“I left my phone upstairs,” Robin said, trying to convince himself to relax and stop sounding like he was hiding something. He knew that Finney would find out eventually but he didn’t have any interest in saying anything right then. “I think I have the flu or something, you should probably stay away from me.”
Finney hummed. “Ernesto said you had strep throat. Said you got tested and have antibiotics and everything.”
Robin needed to punch his brother. That was the dumbest lie he’d ever heard; Robin had literally hung out with Finney at school the day before and he would’ve texted him if he got tested and needed medicine. Granted, Ernesto didn’t exactly have the best track record for lying and probably tried to come up with a story to make it sound believable, but seriously? Too many plot holes; Ernesto needed to use his brain.
“I meant strep,” Robin said, knowing how bad of a liar he also was. His tone wasn’t even steady; usually he was a better liar over the phone. “Misspoke.”
“You don’t sound like you have strep,” Finney deadpanned. “You always lose your voice.”
“I have antibiotics.”
“When did you get them? Right after we hung out yesterday and you weren’t sick or this morning before any pharmacy opened?” Finney asked dryly. “Which lie are we going with?”
Robin let out an irritated huff and was sure Finney could hear the annoyance in his tone. “Fuck off, I’m sick.”
“I’ll see you after school.”
“No, don’t come over!” Robin exclaimed with way more intensity and stress than he intended. He forced himself to calm down. “I don’t want you to get sick, Finn. I’ll see you at school when I’m better, alright?”
Finney was quiet again for a few moments. “Text me if you need anything.”
“Yeah, for sure, thanks, have a good day, bye,” Robin said quickly, hanging up the phone and handing it back to his mom.
Claudia took her phone back, watching him carefully. “Why don’t you move those blankets to the dryer? Most people I know who are omegas say that the nesting instinct-”
Robin cut her off. “I’m not nesting. That’s weird and I’m not doing it.”
“It’s an instinct, Robin.”
“Nope, never happening,” Robin said with determination. “I’ll make my bed but I’m not doing any of those weird omega things.”
Claudia seemed almost saddened by his refusal to give in to any of his newfound emotions and instincts, which Robin pointedly ignored.
There was still pain even with his pills kicking in, but Robin ignored it and disappeared to the laundry room to move the blankets to the dryer. They were shared blankets in their family and he despised the soothing feeling that overcame him when he caught the familiar, warm scent of his family members as he moved them. It made some tiny voice in the back of his mind order him to make a safe space.
Robin knew it was that goddamn nesting instinct and silently blamed his mom for putting the thought in his head. He had no doubt the feeling would make itself known regardless but it was easier to place blame. Every part of his mind was trying to get him to go back to his room to make a safe space, but he ignored it and went to the living room to curl up on the couch.
It made him feel worse and an uneasy feeling settled in his gut, but that went ignored, too.
Claudia laid a blanket over him and Robin immediately bundled himself into the warm fabric. “Did you sleep last night, mi cielito?”
“Not really,” Robin admitted tiredly. “I can sleep right now.”
“You have an appointment for Monday.”
“Do I have to go? Can’t they just prescribe me suppressants or blockers or something?”
“Robin,” Claudia said, more firmly than before. “I know this isn’t what you expected, but it’s the reality and there’s nothing wrong with it. Suppressants and blockers can be dangerous and you don’t need them.”
Robin didn’t look at her. “I’m not supposed to be like this, Mamá. I’m supposed to be an alpha or a beta.”
“There’s nothing wrong with it. Your designation is secondary, it doesn’t change how you are as a person.”
It sounded so easy and Robin knew that she was trying to comfort him, but it wasn’t working. If designations weren’t that important, then they wouldn’t have public warnings for omega safety and alphas wouldn’t be the dominant figures in society. The way he presented would always be a challenge now and make more obstacles than anything else.
Instead of complaining, Robin decided it would be best to actually try to sleep and get away from this conversation. Falling asleep wasn’t easy; the unease was still present and there was an instinctual part of him demanding that he make a safe space. Fuck that; if designations were secondary then Robin could ignore any emotion or instinct that pressed on his mind. He had no intention of giving in.
~~~
Robin stayed cooped up in his room for the rest of the week and all day Saturday. Thankfully, Finney respected his pleas to stay away and settled for sending text messages and the occasional phone call. The initial pain that came with the presentation had kind of gotten better, but it was making Robin panic because it hadn’t all gone away and he was still using Advil to manage it.
Every reddit thread and blog he read said that the presentation pain was only supposed to last for the first day.
Robin was on day four. He couldn’t calm down; he wanted to crawl out of his skin, his heart would randomly race, and everything felt off. It was like something was inherently incorrect with his body and he had no clue how to fix it. When he asked his mom, she said to give into his instincts and the pain would go away.
Yeah, no.
That was not happening anytime soon; Robin already had to deal with the unfortunate truth that he was an omega. He was not about to give in to the disgusting instincts he had, even if it would reduce the pain. Some of the changes were already coming forward; Robin had woken up yesterday morning with the most uncomfortable hard on of his life and his fucking underwear soaked.
It almost made him throw up like the first day he had presented.
After contemplating burning his clothes, Robin tore them all off and vanished to the bathroom. He scrubbed his skin raw and then laid in the tub until his fingers and toes were wrinkly. Robin was never prudish; he had always been comfortable in his skin and never really denied himself when he woke up hard. Hell, he and Finney had been having sex for the last year and Robin had never felt modest.
With his new designation, however, Robin was adamant about not giving in to any of his instincts. No nesting, no wearing Finney’s clothes to soothe him, no giving into his body’s demands for pleasure, none of it. It was having a physical toll and making Robin ride the line of actual illness, but he could give less of a fuck. There was no way in hell he’d be letting himself act like an omega.
The sun streaming through his window woke him up Saturday morning. No matter how much he slept, Robin was restless. He knew it was because he was ignoring his own instincts and his whole being craved to create a safe space, but he didn’t care because those instincts were wrong. He was safe and in his room; there was no danger.
A knock at his door made Robin tense up and a snarl bubble at the back of his throat. For the last four days, he had been growing and snarling way more than necessary, as if now that his vocal cords had that ability, they were demanding to be used. It was frustrating because it made Robin feel more out of control; he knew it was because of how unsafe he felt and it wouldn’t resolve until he gave into his instincts.
In the three years since Finney presented, he had only growled a few times in front of Robin and they were almost always directed at Terrence. If it weren’t for the strong alpha scent that had been emanating off of Finney since he presented, Robin wouldn’t have guessed it because of how little Finney acted like a stereotypical alpha.
The door slowly opened and Ernesto poked his head in.
“What do you want?” Robin asked, not hiding his ongoing annoyance with everyone for existing in his vicinity.
Ernesto entered the room fully and held out a bowl to Robin. “Food.”
Robin hated his newfound need to be around people he trusted. He loved his brother, but he never had an inherent need to be around him as much as he had in the last few days. Since he was trying so hard not to give into his instincts, Robin usually sent Ernesto away after a few minutes, but the small windows of times where he wasn’t alone soothed some of the anxious knotting in his gut.
“I’m not hungry.”
“It’s a bowl of mango and pineapple.”
Robin pursed his lips before he held his hands out for the bowl. He really hadn’t had an appetite, but fresh fruit had been something he’d been drawn to. It was easy to get down and didn’t feel as heavy as other meals. Plus, Ernesto knew that pineapple and mango were his two favorite fruits and was probably trying to use it to get Robin to be less of an asshole.
When he felt better, Robin fully intended on apologizing for how difficult he’d been over the last four days. For now, though, he’d settle for quietly eating his fruit and holding back glaring while Ernesto remained in his space.
“Thanks,” Robin muttered, stabbing a piece of pineapple with his fork. “Don’t you have soccer today?”
“Yeah, my game’s at two.” Ernesto sat down on Robin’s bed and crossed his legs. “One of my friends is going to pick me up.”
“Why isn’t Mamá taking you?”
Ernesto looked at Robin carefully, trying to gauge a reaction. “I don’t think she wants to leave you alone right now. You’ve kind of been going crazy, Robin.”
“I’ve been completely normal!”
“I heard you crying in your room after we watched that documentary last night.”
Robin scowled. “I wasn’t crying, and if I was, it would’ve been valid. They shouldn’t make nature documentaries and follow a baby animal around the whole time just to show it getting brutally murdered.”
“You also looked like you were going to vomit when we had steak the other night, which you typically love. That’s pretty common for omegas that are presenting or in heat because heavy meals can-”
In order to cut Ernesto off, Robin quickly got up with his bowl of fruit and went to Claudia’s room where she was folding her clothes. “I don’t need you to stay home with me, you should go to Ernesto’s game.”
Claudia gave him the same wary look that Ernesto had offered earlier. “Robin, you’ve been… you’ve had a rough few days.”
“I’ve been fine!”
“Honey, you haven’t.” Claudia sighed. “I’d feel better if someone stayed here with you.”
Robin huffed. “I’m seventeen.”
“That doesn’t hold much weight when you won’t grow the hell up and accept that you’re gonna make yourself sick from ignoring every part of your presentation,” Ernesto chimed in from the doorway.
“Ernesto, stop chastising him,” Claudia said, hoping to avoid an argument early in the day. Avoiding arguments had been difficult over the past few days because Robin was so on edge and constantly looking for a reason to snap at someone. “And I understand that you’re seventeen, but you’re having a rough transition and there isn’t anyone to stay with you.”
“Hector can.”
Claudia stared at him incredulously. “How did that work out earlier this week?”
“I was fine!”
Usually Robin and Ernesto’s uncle spent a lot of time at their house, but Robin nearly lost his mind when Hector came by two nights before. They were family so it shouldn’t have been an issue, but Robin’s emotional imbalance had him freaking out when he unexpectedly picked up on an alpha’s scent in the house. He calmed down the slightest bit when he realized it was his uncle, but he kept a wide space between them the whole night and felt ready to run or fight at any shift in behavior.
“I’ll leave you alone when you can manage to follow your instincts,” Claudia offered.
Robin glowered at her and stomped toward the kitchen. He sat at the table and stabbed his fork into pieces of fruit harder than necessary. Irrationality and frustration were the two things he’d expressed the most over the past four days. There was also a lot of guilt, but it never really hit until after he’d already lost his shit and slammed the door to his room or stomped away after an argument. Everything felt unfair for him, but it was also unfair to his family.
Ernesto sat at the table across from Robin. “I read this study on omega instincts and-”
“Don’t.” Robin ate another piece of fruit. “You can research designations all you want when you present, but don’t try to talk to me about mine. I’m trying to pretend it’s not real, in case you haven’t noticed.”
“Yeah, I’ve noticed, but you’re not pretending very well. You’ve been an asshole.”
“Well, sorry for being annoyed by getting the one designation I didn’t want.”
“If you’re really sorry, then stop trying to ignore all of your instincts. You’re getting sick because of it and it’s kind of depressing to watch.”
Robin shot him a familiar glare. “Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn’t realize that my presentation was such a problem for you.”
“That’s literally not what I said at all. Stop trying to twist my words so you can pick a fight.”
The doorbell rang and both boys glanced over to it. There was usually a quick round of rock, paper, scissors to determine who had to answer it, but Ernesto didn’t dive into that bickering. Instead, he got up and went to answer it, not without throwing his brother his own nasty glares as retaliation for Robin attempting to start another argument.
“Oh, hi,” Ernesto said, not opening the door fully.
“Hey, I just wanted to stop by and see how Robin’s doing. I’ve got his homework.”
Robin’s heart caught in his throat when he heard Finney's voice from the other side of the door.
“He’s fine,” Ernesto said quickly. “Like, super okay but doesn’t want visitors, you know? He’s got really bad strep.”
“Ernesto, I know you’re both lying about him being sick.” Finney sounded exasperated. “I’ll be super quick, just a couple of minutes.”
Robin’s appetite disappeared and he tried to figure out the best way to escape the living room. His legs were shaky when he stood up and he tripped as he ran for the stairs, making a loud crash echo through the downstairs. It didn’t hurt, but the fall was jarring and he took a few seconds to tiredly look at the ceiling before deciding to sit up.
The door was ajar and both Finney and Ernesto were staring at him.
“Fuck off, like neither of you have ever tripped,” Robin said, face going red now that he was face to face with Finney, who he’d actively been avoiding as much as he could.
“Not like that,” Ernesto commented. He opened the door as wide as it could go to invite Finney in, making Robin shoot his brother a look of betrayal. “Come on, Robin, he has a nose. If I can tell without having presented, he definitely can pick up on it.”
Robin got to his feet and brushed himself off. He still felt off and jumpy, but Finney didn’t overwhelm him in the way another alpha’s scent would. Robin chose to believe it was because they were boyfriends and not because he’d hid in his room and held random pieces of Finney’s clothes to his nose in moments of weakness.
Finney stepped into the house and closed the door behind him, but he hovered in the doorway. “You look like hell,” he commented.
Ernesto was happy to chime in. “Yeah, cuz the idiot keeps ignoring every single instinct and it’s making him-”
“Shut up,” Robin hissed at his brother before addressing Finney. “Can’t believe this is the first time you’ve seen me in four days and you immediately insult me.”
“Well, you’re the one who told me not to come over,” Finney said. “I wanted to see you the same day that I’m assuming you presented. Since, you know, you lied to me and told me you had the flu.”
“Strep,” Ernesto corrected.
“No, Robin said he had the flu and you said strep. You two should definitely talk it out so you have your stories straight in the future because you’re already bad liars and not having matching stories makes it worse.”
Robin scowled at his boyfriend and ascended the stairs. He did not want to be exposed to Finney and it was pissing him off how much Finney’s presence soothed him even more than usual. He wanted to fight the instinct that demanded he go to Finney and be close, but it was getting tougher. It was easier to leave the room altogether.
No one came to check on him, which Robin embraced for the time being. Unfortunately, he knew that the people in his life cared far too much and would inevitably come into his space. He curled up in his bed and buried his face in his pillow, grimacing because it was still wet from sweating in his sleep. If he was already this sweaty from presenting, he was dreading his future heat cycle. He’d be begging the specialist for suppressants on Monday; just the thought of a heat made his skin crawl.
“Robin?” Finney’s voice came from outside the door. “Can I come in?”
Distress was the kneejerk emotion and Robin knew it was solely driven by his instincts. It made an uneasy knot curl in his gut, knowing that Finney wanted to come into his space which was currently a disaster from the last four days. Gross, sweaty clothes were all over the floor, the blankets were disorganized and didn’t resemble any kind of nest or safe space, and the whole place was likely thick with his scent. Robin had no clue what his scent was but he imagined it was currently mixed with a lot of combative emotions that would push anyone away.
Both Ernesto and his mom could sense it, but neither seemed bothered. It was probably because Ernesto hadn’t presented so he could pick up on strong scents but not determine all of the emotions that came with it. His mom could definitely read every shift in Robin’s emotions when she entered the space, but she ignored it because her focus was always on comforting him.
No wonder she worried about leaving him alone; Robin was not building a solid case for himself.
“My room’s a mess,” Robin called back.
“It typically is.”
Robin glared at the door. “Fuck you, no it’s not.”
“Okay, fine, not a mess, but it’s cluttered,” Finney said, and it sounded like he was smiling and on the verge of laughing. “Can I come in?”
“Whatever,” Robin grumbled, sitting up in his bed.
No part of him had a desire for company, but it wasn’t like he was hiding anything at this point. Plus, he’d been dry over text and the phone for the last four days and he could tell that it had bothered Finney and he was concerned. Letting him in was more for Finney than anything else and Robin felt that he kind of owed him.
The door opened and Finney winced at the strong scent in the space and the complete wreck that Robin’s room was.
“Oh, wow, it is a mess,” he said off the cuff.
Robin could feel himself internally wilt but fought to ignore it. He never cared about Finney’s commentary before and he wouldn’t now. It was a stupid omega reaction to his boyfriend not liking how his space looked, but that was irrelevant.
“I’ve had a rough week, keep it to yourself,” Robin snapped, his words far more harsh than he ever really wanted to talk to Finney. He’d already spoken to his mom and brother that way without intending to and was having a hard time breaking away from it.
“Sorry,” Finney said, shutting the door behind him. “Your mom asked if I could stay here with you while she goes to Ernesto’s game so you aren’t alone.”
Of course she did.
All week when Robin had adamantly been against seeing Finney, Claudia kept suggesting that Robin have him come over because it would somehow help him through his presentation. Robin knew that it would; he’d been there for Finney’s presentation and Finney had expressed that it comforted him and relieved the head cold feeling. Even now with Finney just being in the room, Robin could feel his anxiety starting to fade even if he still despised how unpresentable his room was.
“I don’t need a babysitter.”
“Guess I should’ve believed your mom when she said you were in a mood,” Finney said, picking up some of the clothes from the floor and tossing them in Robin’s hamper to tidy up the space. “I get you’re probably in pain and it’s making you not feel great, but don’t take it out on me.”
Robin glared at him. “If it bothers you then leave.”
“Or you can just stop being an asshole.”
“You’re the one who decided to come bother me when I said not to.”
“You told me to stay away because you were ‘sick.’” Finney made air quotes with his words and rolled his eyes. “You’re not sick so what’s the problem?”
“The problem is that I presented as an omega and I’m not supposed to be one so I wanted some fucking space. Is that so fucking hard to believe?”
Finney watched him silently for a few seconds before he redirected the conversation. “Your washer is open so I’m going to run a load of laundry so you can have clean clothes.”
Robin watched as Finney picked up the hamper which was definitely full of dirty clothes. Over the last four days, Robin had changed several times every day and hadn’t been bothered to wash anything yet. Well, except for the clothes that had been coated in slick. Just thinking of the word made Robin shudder uncomfortably, but at least he wasn’t at risk of Finney having a run in with those clothes.
“You should probably change,” Finney suggested, nodding to the shirt Robin was wearing that had some sweat darkening the neckline of the fabric. “Do you want my sweatshirt or something?”
Robin somehow felt even more pissed with the question. “Why? You think your scent is fucking special now because of how I presented?”
Finney blinked at him because of the harsh words. He was reaching the end of his patience with Robin’s attitude but fought to stay calm. “No, asshole, I’m just offering it because it’ll help with the pain. I wore your clothes when I presented and I do now whenever I’m in rut because, believe it or not, it’s a common fucking thing. You know that.”
“I don’t want your sweatshirt,” Robin seethed, crossing his arms over his chest and fixing his gaze on his thighs. “I’m fine without it.”
If this was how Robin was during his presentation, Finney kind of dreaded his heat cycle. They’d been having sex since they were sixteen and Robin had spent Finney’s most recent rut with him. There was some sex during the peak, but most of it was spent cuddling and watching movies. Finney was worried about hurting him the whole time, but they made it work.
“Fine,” Finney said, refusing to give into his own irritation. He finished putting the stray clothes into the hamper without reacting to Robin’s aggression because he could tell that Robin wanted to fight. “You should change your shirt, anyways. You’re sweating through it.”
“I’ll do whatever the fuck I want.”
“Fine.”
“You can’t tell me what I’m allowed to do.”
“Didn’t plan on it.”
Robin was glowering from his seat, watching Finney’s actions. He still wanted a fight but Finney wasn’t letting that happen. “Hand me a clean shirt,” he eventually grumbled, contradicting his previous intentions. He tugged off his shirt and threw it at the closed hamper.
Finney opened Robin’s dresser and held a clean t-shirt out.
It wasn’t right, and Robin shook his head. “No, not that one.”
“Which one, then?”
“I don’t know, but not that one.”
“Helpful.”
Robin groaned in annoyance and got out of bed. He started to rifle through the shirts to determine which one he wanted and settled on one of Finney’s shirts that he’d left at Robin’s.
Once he finished and had the new shirt on, his mind felt kind of fuzzy. Robin tried to push the feeling away, as it made him start to function like he was on autopilot and he started to rustle through the disorganized blankets on his bed. As was doing so, he suddenly snapped out of his daze and urgently backed away from the blankets like they’d burned him.
“You okay?” Finney asked.
“I’m not nesting,” Robin snarled. “My stupid fucking brain keeps trying to make me and I’m not doing it.”
“You can do it and I won’t tell anyone.”
Robin adamantly shook his head. “No.”
Finney looked genuinely distressed. “Robin, be serious. You’re going to actually make yourself sick if you keep trying to ignore your instincts. You already look like shit, don’t do this. The quicker you accept your presentation, the easier it’ll be-”
“Well that’s fucking easy for you to say, isn’t it?!” Robin cut him off with a shout, anger glowing in his eyes. “Of course it’s easy for you to accept it because you got everything you wanted, right? You get to be an alpha and have everyone respect you and now you get to have your boyfriend be an omega to stroke your fucking ego. I didn’t fucking want to be like this! No one’s going to take me seriously anymore and I can’t fucking fix it!” He started pacing the room, looking like an angry, caged animal.
Finney watched him, unsure of what to say. He wanted to say that he didn’t care how Robin presented, to tell him that there was nothing to fix, but nothing felt like the right answer at that moment. So much of Robin’s identity was tied to his strength and other people respecting him for the fights he won, but he truly believed all of that would vanish because of his designation.
There were no words that would help.
Finney didn’t try to verbally assuage Robin’s anger because he knew that wouldn’t work. Instead of using his words, Finney abruptly stopped Robin’s pacing and pulled him into a tight hug, not allowing Robin to squirm away.
If he really wanted to, Robin could get away; over the last few years, Finney had grown to be the slightest bit taller and he was definitely stronger than he had been when he was younger, but Robin’s strength would always be greater. Robin wasn’t just strong, but he was smart and knew how to use someone else’s own strength against them. Even when fighting guys two times his size when they were in elementary school, Robin always came out on top.
After weakly pushing against Finney in a facade to get away, Robin gave in and buried his face in Finney’s neck and let out loud, heaving sobs. It was clear they were more the result of anger than sadness, but it still showcased just how upset he was.
“I’m sorry,” Finney murmured, running his hand up and down Robin’s back. “I know it’s not what you wanted.”
That made Robin cry harder, digging his fingers into Finney’s back. Robin didn’t cry a lot. It only happened when he was overwhelmed and didn’t know how to get all of the emotions out, like the present moment. He hated crying, especially when it was triggered by anger.
“I don’t want to hate it, but no one’s gonna take me seriously or respect me anymore.”
“Pretty sure being an omega isn’t going to stop you from kicking their asses.”
Robin didn’t laugh like he usually would’ve at that kind of joke. “I just wanted everything to stay the same.”
“What’s going to be different?” Finney asked, running his fingers through Robin’s hair. “People are still gonna talk shit and you’ll still win. I’m not going to treat you differently and I don’t think anyone who we consider our friends will either. The only difference is your scent is gonna be stronger, you’ll have some instinctual things, and you’ll have a cycle.”
“Disgusting,” Robin murmured, thinking about the heat cycle that he would inevitably have if he didn’t get suppressants. “So fucking gross.”
“It’s normal.”
“It’s making me sick to think about.”
Finney sighed, resting his head against the side of Robin’s since he still had his face buried in Finney’s neck. “It’s a natural thing.”
“I don’t really want a biology lecture right now.” Robin grimaced as he thought about all of the terminology associated with heats that he did not want to hear.
“I wasn’t going to give you one.”
“I don’t believe you.” Robin pulled away from Finney’s hug, still teary-eyed but more calm than he’d felt in the last four days. “I didn’t mean to yell at you.”
Finney gave a half smile. “I know.”
Robin looked toward his bed, which still wasn’t made up in what his instincts demanded were the right way. Sighing, he grabbed one of the blankets and held it to his nose for a long few seconds, inhaling the scent and contemplating. After a few moments of silence, he gave in to whatever thoughts he was having and started to lay the blankets down on his bed in particular ways that felt right.
Even if he was less tense, he would occasionally huff or scoff when putting his bed back together. It was the only way to subtly communicate his annoyance that he was giving in to his instincts. The whole time, neither of them talked or even really looked at each other. Well, Finney was watching Robin, but Robin’s focus was on his instinct-driven task.
“I want your sweatshirt now,” Robin mumbled when he was done, since the shirt he had on didn’t feel like it had a strong enough scent at the moment. He was staring at his bed with a mix of relief and annoyance, two very conflicting emotions. “Don’t say anything about this to anyone, got it?”
Finney slipped his sweatshirt off. “Are you expecting the entire population of Denver to come into your room and ask who made your bed?”
Robin glared at him, snatching Finney’s sweatshirt from his hands. He took off the clean shirt and replaced it with the new piece of clothing before climbing into his bed and burying himself under the blankets. “Eat shit, Finn. I don’t want to talk about this weird instinct stuff.”
“Okay, fine. Do you need anything right now? Are you still in pain?”
“Just stop talking about it, would you?” Robin asked, and there was a definite plea in his voice that was audible through the irritation. “But… could you maybe grab me an Advil when you come back upstairs?”
Finney hummed and picked up the laundry basket. “Got it, do you want anything else?”
“I’ll tell you if I need something.”
“You literally spent the last four days actively avoiding me when you obviously needed help.”
Robin narrowed his eyes. “I didn’t need help.”
“Okay, whatever you say,” Finney said with a smug grin. “But when I came in here there was definitely a lot more distress than there is now.” He left the room before Robin could shoot back another insult and assurance that he could handle himself.
In reality, he really hadn’t proved he could handle himself at all. Quite the contrary, he’d kind of been a wreck for the last four days and he did have to acknowledge that the combination of a clean room, Finney being around, and having an actual nest did a lot to alleviate the nerves that had plagued him for days.
Fucking instincts.
Still, maybe he’d actually be able to take a nap now and catch up on the sleep he’d been missing out on for days and had definitely taken its toll. He’d also probably be able to avoid actually getting sick because he was currently on the cusp.
Finney returned with the pills, as promised, as well as a bottle of Pedialyte. “I know you hate it, but there is no way you’re not dehydrated right now,” Finney said quickly before Robin could argue about the choice of beverage. “So drink it quickly.”
Robin grimaced but took the bottle. “I thought you cared about me.” He popped the pills in his mouth and drank half in one go. Usually he wasn’t picky with beverages, but he loathed Pedialyte and its overly salty aftertaste.
“I think getting you to rehydrate and not get sick is, like, textbook caring about you,” Finney countered, sitting down at Robin’s desk. “You already look less like a living zombie.”
“Wow, thanks.” Robin closed the bottle and set it on his nightstand. “Are you gonna sit over there or lay down?”
“I didn’t want to take up your space or anything,” Finney said. “Since you’re still probably getting accustomed to, like, how strong scents are now and stuff.”
“I am literally wearing your sweatshirt.”
“Well, yeah, but you also yelled at me and have cursed me out more in one day than you have in the last nine years since we met. I’m giving you space.”
Robin’s face heated up; he really had been mean and he definitely owed a ten part apology to Finney, Ernesto, and his mom. “Okay, I owe you a huge apology, I get it.”
“I think you owe it more to your mom and brother, honestly.”
“I know.” Robin sighed and stared at the ceiling. “I’ll talk to them tonight.”
Finney seemed satisfied with that answer and stripped off his jeans to change into something more comfortable. Once he had, he carefully laid down and watched for a reaction. With how jumpy Robin had been, Finney didn’t trust that he wouldn’t somehow lay in the wrong spot or offend his boyfriend otherwise.
No reaction came from Robin besides an exaggerated eye roll when he picked up on how hesitant Finney was. The second Finney laid down, Robin shuffled over to get closer and establish contact between them. There were dried tear stains painting his cheeks, but he was in better spirits than he had been since he presented.
“Why’d you want to hide it?” Finney asked, wrapping his arms around Robin and pecking the top of his head. “I get hiding it from people at school, but why me?”
Robin pressed his nose into Finney’s neck, inhaling his comforting scent for a slow few seconds. “I didn’t expect it,” he murmured. “I thought we’d be the same and it was literally the only thing I didn’t expect, so I kind of freaked out and just wanted to pretend it wasn’t real. Like, maybe if I rejected it enough that it wouldn’t be real.”
“Oh, yes, the classic ignoring something until it goes away.”
“Yeah, you get it,” Robin joked, even though his tone remained dry. “I’m sorry, Finn.”
“I know, it’s okay,” Finney assured him, kissing his forehead again.
Robin closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. His nerves had faded, and even though he still felt a little sick and sore, he was far calmer than he had been and he no longer had the itching feeling of not being in a safe spot. The mix of comfort allowed the exhaustion to creep in and, for the first time in days, Robin was able to sleep soundly.