Chapter Text
My name is Elena, and I'm 14 years old. Actually, I have a second name, which is Evan. I like Evan better. But no one calls me that. All because that teacher called me Elena on the first day of 9th grade while taking attendance. Now... I'm Elena. I guess.
I've been homeschooled my whole life, up until high school. Lucky me. Now, I'm a social outcast that's struggling just keeping her grades up.
None of my teachers really faze me, or stand out to me. Some are kind, or funny, sure. But I've never really had a favorite...
Unless that's what you call having your teacher scare the fuck out of you every day.
His name is #####. I hate him with every atom of my being.
He makes us stand for 12 seconds straight, looks us all in the eye, and then dismisses us and we respond like we're fucking soldiers. He shouts at us whenever we "disobey" or anything, and...
He's actually... nicer to me?
He's always treated me delicately. As if he knows that I've got a heart that's easy to break. As if he knows that I'm always ready to cry.
He sighs and says "Come in," whenever I'm late to class, instead of shouting and questioning me.
He laughs whenever I get startled when he talks to me abruptly.
He didn't even get mad at me that one time I was asleep when class began. All I heard was, "Is she dead?"
I woke up to him looking at me, deeply concerned. Not furious. Concerned.
I couldn't help but feel special.
He's nice to me in that sense.
But he still intimidates me.
On the first day of school, I didn't stand up. He stared me right in the eye, right in the pupil. My eyes were targets, and his were two revolvers, locked and loaded.
He shot me.
I'm exaggerating, I know. I'm lucky that he accustoms to my needs. But still...
There's something in the way he looks at me that makes me scared, so scared, yet so obsessed with him.
Summer is fast approaching. I'm sick of sitting in class, sweating, bored out of my mind. He's calmer since there aren't many people attending school at this point. He can see that I've got complicated feelings towards him, and he's chosen to leave me be. I thank him for that, but I kind of wish
he were as obsessed
with me
as I am
with him .
Ever since my mom talked to him about my grades that one time, he's been using my preferred name. He heard Evan being used to refer to me only that once, but he remembered.
He remembered...
It's scary hearing my preferred name coming out of his mouth, because it feels too real. Too... intimate? I don't know how to describe it. Elena is like my student "persona", and Evan is...
Me. And he recognizes the real me.
I've always been Elena. A small, delicate, obedient girl. The weird kid. Elena. It doesn't even feel like my name.
Tonight, it isn't.