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“We could just… leave, you know?”
“Leave where?”
“The sea?”
A laugh slipped from Kevin’s throat. Määnin didn’t join him so Kevin quickly stopped. His gaze was examining Kevin before he looked back straight towards the sea.
Waves were breaking at the stony beach, somewhere close to Maxmo. They were sitting on a little dune, above the actual beach. Now both looking at the slow waves. The way the dying sun lost its blood in the water and drowned both their faces with it. If they hadn’t had scars on their own already it might have hurt.
“What do you want to do on the sea?”, Kevin asked calmly.
Määnin squeezed their hands. “We’d have a ship.”
“A ship?”
Määnin nodded enthusiastically. “A big ship. An old one made from wood, with a sail and rowing. Moving just with the power of the wind.”
“Where would it take us?”
“I don’t know.” Määnin interlinked their fingers. He was talking quicker, he was talking with a high voice, he was smiling as he did. Used the sun to his advantage so that he glowed. “Somewhere where we wouldn’t be judged.”
That sounded nice.
“We could take the others too, if they want to come. So you won’t have to be without your stupid friends.” Määnin threw him a playful glance. “Nor me.”
Kevin leaned against Määnin’s side, eyes glued to the horizon. “What would we do there?”
“We could be pirates! You would be the captain..” Määnin was excited. His voice calmed Kevin’s mind to help him forget, where they actually were right now. “Order everyone around and bully us and press me against the wall if I refused to clean the deck.”
“You would clean the deck only so I’d press you against a wall.”
“That’s right.” Määnin adjusted his sunglasses before putting his head on Kevin’s. He slung his arm around Kevin’s waist. “So you’d make out with me in front of everyone that Axel and Tommy would have to throw up in the sea.”
“I’d put my knee between your legs if you were disobeying your captain.”
“Mmh.”
Kevin closed his eyes. The sea was loud, every wave, the wind howling to the coast, reached his ears. He could imagine standing on the deck of his pirate ship, next to his most loyal partner. His boyfriend. “I think you’d be a weapon master.”
“Why’s that?”
“You fight a lot. Everyone who comes your way”, Kevin explained. “There is so many techniques and you’d be like Loki and just have knives everywhere.”
Määnin is content with that. “I’d protect you.”
Protecting Kevin not from the horrors of their home town but instead from people whose motives were clear. “After I stole a fruit in a garden”, Kevin sighed. “You’d jump in front of me with your sword.”
“Can’t you fight for yourself or what?”
Kevin shook his head. Emerged into his boyfriend’s fantasy. “I wouldn’t need to if I had you. It’d be best if you carried my sword as well. I trust you.”
“I trust you too.”
The moment of silence was heavy. They’d be free on the sea. Wasn’t it every kids dream that grew up by the sea to one day just leave and see what’s out there? Kevin remembered standing by the window and looking outside when he was younger, craving nothing more than to disappear. Run away from his problems. A place where they, Määnin and him, could be free, together. Just themselves and love each other openly.
“We have to go back. My mum will start looking for us…”, Määnin said slowly. He didn’t want to give them up. Their dream. A fantasy that was so much better than reality. Somewhere where they wouldn't have to deal with those problems.
Kevin parted their hands and straightened his spine.
“The Captain tells you not to worry. You always have to follow your Captain’s orders.” Kevin tapped Määnin’s head.
Määnin smiled softly at the attempt. Yet his gaze found the way back to the waves. If he could just… be happy there. Not worry about a single thing.
But Määnin would never leave. Because Kevin was here and he couldn’t imagine a life without Kevin.