Chapter Text
A few months had passed after that sleepover at school and at the end of July, I went on summer vacation with my parents.
My parents have always been afraid of trying new things, so we’ve been going to the same hotel in the same city for years. A city known for being beautiful in winter, which was why my parents loved going there in summer – it was cheap. I didn’t really care anyways. I knew I wouldn’t be able to see Sakusa for weeks, which made me feel miserable, no matter where we’d go.
We took a flight to Sapporo and headed to our Hotel in Otaru, which was right next to the beach. It was a traditional Japanese Hotel with one big room that could be separated with sliding doors, so I had a small room to myself.
The futons were already laid out when we got there and I sat down on mine and grabbed my phone. I didn’t even have his phone number, so I don’t know what I expected. I thought about uploading a picture to Facebook, but the chances of my mother walking in on that were a bit high.
I still checked out Sakusa’s Facebook, but we weren’t friends, so I couldn’t see much, if he had even uploaded anything. Just looking at his picture was enough for now. He was gorgeous.
I almost dropped my phone when my mom called me to tell me they were going to the beach.
“Okay.” I said and then added: “I’ll come, too.”
Determined to get some sun and look relaxed and beautiful when school started again.
I quickly changed into my swim pants, put on my hat and sunglasses and grabbed a towel.
Even though I’d hurried, my parents had already left without me. Fine. I thought and strolled through the lobby. Passing the check-in, I noticed a boy, who must have been a bit older than me, staring at me. I smiled briefly and bowed my head slightly.
I walked down the beach a bit and found a nice spot to put my towel, put sunscreen on and lay down. After a few minutes, something had blocked the sun, and I opened my eyes to see the guy from the lobby again.
“Is this spot taken?” He asked and pointed next to me.
“Uhm, no.” I said and he said: “Great. I’m Ren, by the way.”
“I’m Keiji.” I said.
“Wow, a pretty name for a pretty boy.”
I blushed and said: “Thank you.”
“Those swim panties sure make your legs tan all the way. I just always think they’re a bit tight on certain parts, if you know what I mean.”
I looked at him as he winked at me, not sure what to say. I liked them because I liked how my butt looked in these better than in those loose ones.
But I obviously could not say that to a complete stranger. So, I just said: “I think they’re comfortable.”
“Wanna go swimming?” He then asked. I was still a little confused about him pretending we came here together, but I didn’t hate his company, so I nodded and got up. It was fun, we got along well.
Just as I thought I’d made a new friend, I’d noticed he was interested in more than that.
Back on our towels, he asked me: “Can I have some of your sunscreen?”
“Sure.” I said and handed it to him.
“You should put some on, too. After swimming and all. Don’t want to ruin your porcelain skin.”
He applied it generously and rubbed it over his body. Then he said: “Would you do my back for me?”
“Sure.” I said and smeared it all over his back. He seemed to work out a lot.
“Wow, you’re good at that.” He said and I wasn’t sure if he meant that, because I hadn’t noticed I did anything special.
“Your turn.” He said and got behind me.
Yeah, he couldn’t have meant it. He was massaging the sunscreen in like a professional masseuse. It felt nice. And he went lower. When his fingers slowly slid beneath my swim trunks I flinched and turned around.
He said: “Have I misread some signals here?”
“What signals?” I said, really not understanding what he was talking about.
“Got it.” He said and got up and left with his towel, like he’d never been there in the first place.
I still sat there, slightly confused, when it finally hit me: He was coming on to me the whole time. Realizing I could have had a hot summer fling made me a little excited. But he was gone now and I told myself it was good, since Sakusa was supposed to be my first and only one. And also, I had a vague idea that my parents would not approve.
Still, I was a little bit disappointed that we couldn’t have just hung out together some more. Also, I thought it was a good sign that someone thought I was attractive. I really hoped Sakusa would think so, too.
When school had started again in September, I tried to be near Sakusa whenever I could. Sometimes we ended up sitting together at lunch, usually because he’d already claimed a seat and I was brave enough, on those days, to take the spot beside him. We talked about homework, or TV shows everyone was suddenly obsessed with, or whatever nonsense the first-years were getting scolded for. And then the bell would ring, he'd get swept away with the other kids from his class, and I'd go back to my class pretending it didn’t bother me. I forgot to ask him every time, why Komori wasn’t near him anymore.
In the new school year, my class had a P.E. class when Sakusa’s class also did. And a third-year class.
Some of the older students would bully us second-graders, but I always knew how to stay out of trouble, so they usually left me alone, because I was no fun to torment.
When I was about to head to my first P.E. class of that year, I saw Hirano-sensei in the hallway, picking up tests from the floor that must have fallen down, scattering all over the place. I hadn’t hesitated to help him pick them all up.
That’s why I was late that day. When I got to the changing rooms, Sakusa’s class and the third years were there, but most of my classmates were already gone.
I smiled at Sakusa and started taking off my clothes between him and a third grader, since it was the only gap. I noticed that they did not leave even after they’d finished and in the corner of my eye, I could see the one on my left, Suguru Daishō, grin snakish. I knew his name because he usually got in trouble for bullying other kids.
When he took a breath, I knew he would say something to me when I was just putting on my pants.
“Aw, I love your cute little panties. Did mommy buy them for you?”
I ignored him, which he did not like. He shoved me and I fell into Sakusa. He held me, making sure I wouldn’t fall over and I gave him a shy smile, but the look he gave me was terrifying. I got goosebumps as he directed his disgusted gaze at Daishō, telling him to get his shit together and go to class.
I was still a bit frightened of the face he’d made and also in awe because of how he talked to an older student.
Daishō was still grinning, but he started moving towards the door and said:
“Poor Sakusa, did I get germs all over you? Here, let me get rid of them-”
He tried to lick his face, but Sakusa punched him in the gut lightly, looked back at me, then just scuffed and turned back around to face Daishō.
I thought he might punch him again, but Daishō’s teacher then came inside and yelled at him to hurry up, because they were waiting outside.
My heart was pounding, and I still had goosebumps, after they’d left. Probably because I still hadn’t changed and it was kind of cold. I tried to focus and finished changing but I had to sit down for a moment. I never had a problem with bullies, and I did not care about Daishō, but Sakusa really got to me. Was he really angry with me for falling into him? He didn’t have to catch me. Why had he even still been standing there, was he not done changing when I had arrived?
The thought, that he had wanted to protect me from Daishō only made my heart race even more. But he probably would have done that for any one of my classmates, since Daishō was known for being nasty.
When I felt better, I went into the gym. It was separated as usual. My classmates were already in the middle of stretching. The teacher told me to quickly get a mat and join them. He must have seen me help Hirano-sensei, otherwise he definitely would have yelled at me for being late. Kawahara from my class was late last week, and he yelled at him so much that he was crying for the rest of the lesson.
I did what I was told and got a mat, sat down on it, stretching my legs slowly. Trying to ignore the urge to gaze over to the other side of the gym, where Sakusa was about to do a box jump.
I sank a little deeper into the stretch, feeling the pull along my hamstrings and back. I have always been flexible, and I loved that feeling of control over every line of muscle. My body bent so easily, almost effortlessly, and that felt good. It was satisfying to think that my body could do exactly what I asked of it.
Even if it was much more advanced than what the others did, I stretched my back with the wheel pose – I laid down on my back, placed my hands by my ears and pushed myself up, arching my back, opening my chest, tilting my head behind me – to the other side of the gym. I did not expect to find him that quickly, considering my pose made me see everything upside down.
But there he was, about to do a sprint before jumping the box. I had the feeling he was looking at me, but I was not sure about that, until his teacher yelled at him to focus and not stare at the Yoga-Class.
He started running and jumped in such a beautiful way.
What I hated about sports was that it made people look sweaty and ugly. But there was nothing ugly about Sakusa. His acceleration was perfect, and his nonchalant jump could have been that of a pro athlete. And when he landed, his expression was still the same – no unattractive grimace from the impact on the mat. As he walked away, I noticed he was turning his head again, looking back at me.
“Akaashi, you’re overdoing it again. Kuroda-sensei already thinks I’m teaching a yoga-class.”
I came down from my pose and moved myself into a squat, hoping my head was not too red, feeling relieved that I was turned away from him.
I hoped that I would get to see him in the changing room, but when the lesson came to an end, the others did not make a move to leave, meaning that they probably had a double lesson.
Before I left for the changing room, I turned my head slightly to look at Sakusa one more time and he was already looking at me.
I noticed that he always kept standing a bit further away from the others and it made me remember what Daishō had said about getting germs all over him and I kind of suspected even before that that he might be a germaphobe.
The rest of the school day, I kept daydreaming of Sakusa.
I saw myself apologizing to him or thanking him and kept getting deeper into the situation in the changing room, blowing it out of proportion increasingly.
What if Daishō had done more? If he had touched me, stripped me out of my underwear? What if Sakusa had to interfere that, if they both had seen me naked, but Sakusa did not want Daishō to look? He would have had to cover me up, but then he had to look and of course, touch me.
After math, I had what was supposed to be a boring history class, but since I had felt something grow bigger inside my pants, I will never forget this lesson. The teacher was going on about the discovery of the emergence of a new style of pottery in the Yayoi period and I had a discovery of something emerging on my own body, for the first time in school.
This sudden arousal felt so intense that I was sure my classmates had to notice. But looking around, I was relieved to see that no one was paying attention to me and my body.
Being in a classroom full of students and the teacher occasionally looking at me while telling us about that era only gave me more excitement.
My mother had told me that sex was something very intimate that should only be shared with a special someone and that no third party should ever be part of it.
I knew it was wrong. Still, I wanted to imagine they would all know exactly what was going on with me. With me and Sakusa.
He couldn’t take his eyes off me, staring at me like he wanted to touch my body again. He did hold me when I was almost naked, protecting me from that perverted guy who was looking at my underwear, even commenting on it.
I had to excuse myself and go to the bathroom.
I ran inside the first stall and locked the door. The sudden urge to be completely naked overcame me, but I resisted taking off my clothes, because it wasn’t that warm and there wasn’t really a place to put them.
The gap between the stall door and the frame was big enough for me to see the sinks. No one was there right now but that was almost disappointing.
I closed my eyes and started touching my upper body beneath my shirt. Did Sakusa like what he had felt? Did he also still think about it?
The sound of the restroom door opening startled me and I opened my eyes. Spying through the gap, I couldn’t believe what I saw. Sakusa came inside to wash his hands. I saw his face in the mirror, and I thought he was so beautiful, studying his face from his little moles to his eyes. The rest was covered by his face mask. I guess he was not allowed to wear that in P.E. at least.
I was right behind him, touching myself, only about six feet apart and I let out a soft huff and touched my dick, slowly fisting it for the first time, staring at Sakusa who must have had very dirty hands. I quickly reached for some toilet paper when I felt something was missing.
I used my other hand to grab my butt, gently circling the hole with my index finger. The urge to push it inside was bigger than the hole itself, which could only take one for now, I thought. I pressed it inside slowly. Moaning quietly, I ejaculated inside the toilet paper just as Sakusa looked inside the mirror, at the door between us and then he left.
I fixed my clothes and freshened up to get back to my classroom.
As I walked in, positive that they must have noticed something, the teacher was going on about wet-rice agriculture.
I sat down, trying to suppress a slight smile as it all still felt wet. I then knew that I was finally ready for the stuff I had been reading about, and I also knew who was going to be my first.
During the final lesson that day, I tried to make out a plan how to run into Sakusa as often as possible.
When I had left the school grounds, Daishō and two of his friends were waiting for me. I guess he does not like losing is what I thought when I approached them.
“Hello, you are blocking my way, if you don’t mind, I would appreciate it if you could-“
One of his friends slapped me. I looked back at him, my cheek still stinging from the slap.
“Walk us home, would you?” Daishō said.
I knew it wasn’t really a question, because I didn’t have a choice.
I gave a light nod and he grinned his snakish grin.
We started walking next to each other, his friends in front of us, taking the lead.
My thoughts were racing.
What’s going to happen to me now? Am I being punished for being bad, just like my mom had always told me would happen to naughty people?
I was set on enduring whatever they were planning to do to me with my head held high. But a scary thought crossed my mind and my throat tightened as I tried not to cry:
Now he might not be my first.
I wanted to stay brave. Just as we reached the stairs to an apartment complex, my head was telling my heart not to panic and that it would all work out.
His friends led the way upstairs and entered a small apartment.
Daishō was just signaling me to follow them, when he fell on his knees, because someone had kicked him inside his knee pits.
He really did save me again. He took my arm and pulled me inside the apartment next door, closing the door behind us. I heard Daishō curse outside, promising he will pay for this.
I looked at Sakusa, who still had this kind of suffering look on his face.
“Th- Thank you so much for doing that and I am sorry about falling into you earlier today.”
I said, bowing my head. I had planned thoroughly all day how I would apologize and it wasn’t supposed to be so sloppy.
He scuffed and said: “Forget about it, I did not really have a choice, did I?”
And: “You can stay for dinner; they might still be waiting for you.”
“Won’t your parents mind?”
“They don’t mind me living here alone.”
I was so surprised to hear that, that my face must have been giving me away. I felt my cheeks blush and I slightly turned away.
“I can also take you home, if you like.”
He must have thought I was afraid of being alone with him. He doesn’t have a clue that I planned on creating scenarios that weren’t even as unrealistic as what’d just happened. What were the odds of him living right next to that guy? Maybe that explained why he’d been so unpolite towards him, even though he was older.
“I would like to stay for dinner.” I quickly told him.
He made some Nanohana Karashiae for us and we ate with plastic bowls at his small kitchen table.
I was usually bad at making small talk, but talking about school, family and basic everyday things with Sakusa did not feel like small talk at all.
We got to know each other bit by bit and he was smiling at me when I told him the food was delicious.
“It should be safe for you to go home now, Daishō always has volleyball practice and should be gone by now. But I could still take you home.”
I tried not to sound too disappointed that I had to leave when I said: “Okay. Thank you for dinner.”
We put our shoes on and walked to my house. I memorized the route between our homes the best I could.
Sakusa was about four inches taller than me, but it felt like so much more. He seemed so grown-up, so reliable and I felt very safe walking home with him.
We talked some more about some of the teachers we both had, I got the chance to compliment him on his box jump and he said that I seemed athletic too, “at least very flexible”. I looked straight forward because I had the feeling he made me blush again.
Like he was trying to change the subject, he said that he’ll head to school because of practice.
“What kind of practice?” I wanted to know.
“Volleyball.”
“With… Daishō?”
“Unfortunately, yes. We have a game next weekend, so I can’t skip practice. He’s a third-year, so he’ll be gone soon.”
“Can I come see your game?” I asked.
“Sure. I will text you the details.”
And just like that, he gave me his number.
That’s it! I thought.
“I was actually thinking of joining the volleyball club”, I lied, before I could even think this through.
This is how I can be close to him.
“Great.” is what he said when I stopped in front of my house.
“Thank you for taking me home.” I bowed and he did the same.
“See you tomorrow.”
I nodded and smiled at him.
He walked away and I went inside.
“I’m home.”
“You’re late.” My mom said.
She seemed angry, but nothing she could do could have made me regret being late.
“Sorry. I was at a friend’s place, studying. Didn’t you get my text?”
“No. And I also did not get a call, and I don’t remember you telling me yesterday, like you are supposed to.”
“It was not planned. Umino offered to tutor some of us at his place and there are tests coming up.”
“Next time, call me.”
“I will.” I said, bowing my head politely, secretly smiling down at the floor.
We both sat down in the living room and watched a Korean Drama my mother loved. My dad always worked late Thursdays, so we could have the TV to ourselves.
I’ve found the show awfully cheesy, but the main actor looked so much like Sakusa, so I started to enjoy seeing it with her.
And I couldn’t wait to see Sakusa at his Volleyball game.