Chapter Text
When Gojo woke up to Utahime’s text, he felt like he could finally breathe again. He was relieved that he didn’t have to wait a week to realize his progress hadn’t all been undone by his own actions. More importantly though, he was in a rush for the execution of the next trope: it had to happen that very same day.
He needed to pretend to be sick, and the rain was the perfect excuse. Gojo never actually got sick. But since he'd briefly lowered his infinity yesterday, Utahime might believe he'd caught a cold.
At 7am, he opened his group chat with his students.
Great Teacher Gojo: Sup’
Great Teacher Gojo: Emergency love lesson, be there in 30
Gojo was in such a rush that he teleported to school. He quickly reached the classroom with cat-like stealth. He did not want to meet Yaga who flooded his phone with furious voicemails.
Having arrived early, he grabbed his phone to check the group chat again. His students had bombarded him with angry sticker. Naturally he downloaded the best ones.
Great Teacher Gojo: The student who brings me the sweetest snack gets a bonus =D
Panda: This is power abuse
Great Teacher Gojo: Sue me hehe
To Gojo’s surprise, only three students brought him snacks: Yuta, Nobara & Yuji.
“Eh?! Not a very ambitious class, I see.” He shook his head in fake disappointment while munching on one of the snacks. “Well, bonus for each, then.”
“Yay!” Nobara exclaimed while taking the seat near Megumi’s who smiled even though he missed out on the bonus. Gojo smirked.
The teacher pulled down his blindfold and made his Unlimited Void domain expansion hand-sign. The students’ eyes opened wide. They looked frightened.
“RIZZ EXPANSION.” Gojo shouted, a menacing look on his face.
An ensemble sigh of relief could be heard through the room. Soon after, the teacher was met with a mixture of scoffs, eye-rolls and head shakes.
“You couldn’t be more ridiculous if you tried.” Maki removed her glasses which she handed to Yuta. Gojo’s not-so-secret favorite student (tied with Megumi), started trying them on, giggling.
The special-grade student was sniffling a little which made Gojo feel guilty for the whole umbrella incident.
“Party pooper.” Gojo made a face and put his blindfold back on. He turned the whiteboard around.
Lesson 5 : Nursing the sick at home chapter (pretending to be sick in my case)
“Any good Romance Manga in existence will show you how to put the ‘sick’ in lovesick.” Gojo made two peace signs and brought his knees together. “From the healthy person’s perspective: your crush is no-show at school and what do you think happens ?”
After having grabbed a black marker, he drew a question mark on the board.
“Well, it’s simple. Your homeroom teacher says your crush is sick and asks who can bring them the assignments… Out of love, you volunteer,” Gojo said, looking down.
“Um…Gojo-sensei-“ Yuji started saying. “Well, you are the teacher and with Iori-sensei, how are you going to-“
“We’ll get to that in a minute,” Gojo cut his student off. “Now, it’s time to cover the next steps of the sick trope:”
He started writing on the board.
- Bring over-the-counter medicine, a cooling patch and ingredients for porridge.
- When you ring the bell or knock, he/she/they take long to open.
- They faint and you carry them to bed.
- Spicy (don’t mention to Yaga): You change them because sweat (EW) and sometimes you cool them with a wet towel.
- You make the porridge and feed them.
“Bam! Peak intimacy and love.” Gojo cleared his throat. “As a man of science, there’s something I need to clarify: You can’t actually catch a cold. Cold weather just facilitates the contraction of a virus.”
Megumi raised his hand but Gojo signaled him to wait.
“Oh and one more thing, this generally comes after the rain chapter… see what I’m getting at ?” The teacher winked.
“I’ve never seen you get sick and neither has anyone else including Iori-sensei,” Megumi declared as nonchalant as ever.
“Duh, I’m the strongest, I don’t get sick. That said, I usually keep my infinity up, and I put it down yesterday,” Gojo clarified.
“Eh?! Did you plan that ahead ?” Nobara asked. Megumi shook his head before Gojo replied.
“Nah, that was… well, just forget it. Ugh, Inumaki, why exactly have you not taken your eyes off your phone… All day ?” Gojo turned his head confused puppy style.
Inumaki texted Gojo whose phone buzzed.
Onigiri Boi: None of your business.
“Well, isn’t this interesting ?” Gojo giggled.
Yuta raised his hand.
“Gojo-sensei, are you sure we can’t catch a cold ?” The student asked with an audible stuffed nose.
“Yeah, yeah. There must be some sort of virus circulating which works to my advantage. Sorry for you though hehe.” Gojo smiled from ear to ear, not a hint of honesty emitting from him despite him actually being honest.
The teacher, then, laid out his plan. He gave the students the app and password for his penthouse’s CCTV.
“This is plain weird,” Maki commented while still downloading the app.
Accompanied by Nobara and Yuji, Gojo knocked on the door of Shoko’s infirmary. It was 9am.
“Remember Nobara, try 030290 while we distract Shoko. If it doesn’t work you just quickly put the phone down,” Gojo whispered.
“Yes ?” The doctor said.
As the six-eyes user pushed the door, he pretended to fan smoke with his hand which annoyed Shoko. Yuji and him headed towards the table where Yuji once laid on when he died.
Nobara nonchalantly sat on the edge of Shoko’s desk. She was in position.
“Um... we need you to look at Yuji’s body real quick. I fed him a new finger,” Gojo said miming the action of eating a finger.
Cigarette still in hand, Shoko approached both the child and the man-child, and she was suspiciously squinting at Gojo. Gojo flashed her quite the exaggerated smile.
“Ahaha, ugh… Shoko-sensei, isn’t it funny that I was dead here haha.” Yuji wasn’t used to lying and it showed.
“It is pretty funny,” Shoko said, not meaning a word of it.
Despite her blatant skepticism, the doctor started examining Sukuna’s vessel. Exposing him to secondhand smoking.
In the back, Nobara was going her part. She entered the code and gave Gojo a thumbs up. Gojo gave her student a bit of a sad smile in return.
Once Nobara successfully blocked Utahime’s number on Shoko’s phone, she returned to her teacher’s side.
“WELL, this was fun and all. I guess he’s the picture of health ! It’s probably the diet of mummified finger… we’re taking our leave. ” Gojo walked towards the door hands in his pockets. The students closely followed.
“You better explain to me what’s going on later,” Shoko told her ex classmate who smirked in response.
Gojo immediately grabbed his own phone to text Utahime.
Annoying Kouhai Gojo: Hime… I got sick after yesterday, I don’t know what to do
My Hime: What are you talking about ? Where are you ?
Annoying Kouhai Gojo: I don’t know what to do I’m not used to being sick
Annoying Kouhai Gojo: I’m in my Tokyo apartment, Shoko isn’t replying
A few minutes went by.
My Hime: Shoko isn’t replying to me either, but I have classes to give, can’t you call someone ?
Annoying Kouhai Gojo: I need you Hime, I feel like I’m dying
My Hime: Uh, ok, ok. I’ll work something out for my students
My Hime: I’ll be at your place in approximately three hours
As soon as Gojo teleported to his apartment, he disabled the CCTV and changed into a black sweater with matching black sweatpants. He started styling his hair making it look messy while still being flattering. God, he was handsome. He smiled at his own reflection.
Utahime was about 10 minutes away according to the last text she sent. To make the trope believable, the sorcerer needed to sweat. He ran on his treadmill at full speed, then activated his limitless to increase resistance — normal effort wouldn’t be enough for superhuman Gojo Satoru.
30 seconds later, Gojo could hardly breathe and was sweating. His body temperature had significantly increased too. Success.
He turned his security cameras back on and he jumped into bed. Exhausted and excited, he wasn’t sure why his heart was racing.
The door rang. Gojo texted the students right before buzzing Utahime in.
“G-Gojo… Where are you ?” Utahime asked. She had been there before, but it was never just the two of them.
“Here !” Gojo said, faking a cough. “My bedroom.”
To his surprise, Utahime didn’t ask for details. She remembered.
After knocking, she opened his bedroom door and approached his bed. Gojo, eyes closed at first, opened them as she checked his forehead.
“You’re actually a little hot huh,” she remarked while looking through a paper bag she brought with her.
“Thank you baby.” Gojo smiled, still looking tired. He was giving an Oscar-worthy performance.
“Gojo !!” Utahime’s skin was positively flushed. After shaking her head, she applied a cooling pad on his forehead. “I can’t believe you’re actually sick.”
“You didn’t believe me ?” Gojo coughed. “… Why did you come then ?”
“Well… I mean, Shoko wasn’t replying, and we can’t exactly let you die,” Utahime justified herself. “You’re sweating a lot.”
“You’re right.” Gojo slowly stood up grabbing Utahime’s shoulder for support. “Hold on.”
He started taking off his shirt.
“G-Gojo… what are you doing ? “ Utahime hid her eyes with her hand. While still peeking through her fingers which made Gojo laugh.
“Like what you see ?” He winked and shook his head. “Objectifying your poor sweet bedridden Kouhai.”
“You’re the one getting naked in front of your senpai ! Fever-induced sexual harassment is still harassment.” She frowned still red.
“Aha, remember when you called me lanky at the diner by the way ?” He leveled his face with hers and smirked.
“Just get changed. I’ll go fetch you a wet towel” Utahime lightly pushed him towards his walk-in closet. Before she left the room, she looked back at him. “If you need anything, tell me and uh… be careful.”
Gojo changed into a grey sweater/sweatpants set and when he left the dressing, he directed a thumbs up at his bedroom’s security camera which wasn’t usually on. After jumping back into bed, he checked the students’ group chat, and it turned into a full on live-stream chat.
Hearing Utahime’s steps, he closed his eyes pretending to be asleep.
“I know you’re awake,” Utahime told Gojo, damp towel in hand.
All of the sudden, he grabbed her and pulled her into his bed hugging her.
“G-gojo ? What-” She started, short of breath and fully flushed. Gojo sat up quickly before she could finish talking.
“Hime ?… Are you feeling well ?” Gojo asked, concerned. “You’re hot. Like burning hot.”
“Well… I-I-…been a little dizzy…” Utahime seemed to be losing consciousness.
“H-Hime ?” He understood that she was actually sick and probably because of him as well. He started combing through her bangs affectionately. “I’m sorry… why did you come ? You shouldn’t have.”
“I wanted to,” she mumbled.
Gojo’s eyes widened. He quickly stood up and turned off all his security cameras. He took the damp towel and dabbed Utahime’s collar bones lightly. He wasn’t going to undress her. Well, not on that day at least. After going through the paper bag she brought for him, he took a cooling pad and put it on her forehead.
He quickly went to the kitchen where he started a porridge, he grabbed a water bottle and brought it to her with some medicine.
“Hime…are you up ?” He murmured.
She was struggling to sit up, so he helped her. She took the medicine with his help.
“I’ll be back in a sec, don’t sleep, you need to eat something.” He caressed her cheek. “If you need anything, tell me…”
After a quick trip to the kitchen, Gojo came back with a porridge, and he sat on the edge of his bed. Utahime who was still sitting up grabbed the bowl and spoon Gojo handed to her.
“So you weren’t sick, I knew it,” Utahime said between two spoonfuls of his homemade porridge. “It’s pretty tasty.”
“I’m sorry Hime, I didn’t know you were sick, I would have never-“ Gojo started saying with sincerity.
“I know, I know.” She nodded. “Don’t feel bad. I’m not sure why I even came, but I knew you weren’t sick.”
“… Maybe I started feeling… and I wanted to be taken care of,” she added, shyly.
Gojo gulped. He cleared his throat.
“I’ll be honored to take care of you.” A kind smile appeared on Gojo’s face. “Try to get some sleep.”
“Wait Gojo, please tell my students and apologize to them on my behalf.” Utahime closed her eyes.
“So Responsible, Hime. Tomorrow is a Saturday, you’re good.” Gojo smiled and she smiled back.
He sat on her bedside and watched her as she peacefully fell asleep. At least, he thought she did, and so he started drifting off and his eyes closed. Assuming that he was asleep and had his infinity on, Utahime kissed him on the cheek.
The kiss might have been caused by her fever but the man could, however, die on the spot and be happy about it.
Group chat:
Finger-eater: SENSEI WHAT'S HAPPENING I CANT SEE OR HEAR ANYTHING
Emo son: Well, I’m going to sleep, I might be actually getting a cold
Voodoo Doll: Eh ? Are you in your dorm ? Do you need something ?
Emo son: Not that bad, thank you for asking Kugisaki-san :)
Grumpy Maki: I’ll leave too, has anyone heard from Yuta ?
Panda: IDK he sounded sick in class
Great Teacher Gojo: I turned it off, turns out, Utahime is sick
Grumpy Maki: Should’ve been you
On Saturday morning, Utahime woke up in Gojo’s bed, and he was sleeping, resting on her bedside while sitting on a chair.
“Good morning UTAHIME. Feeling better ?” Gojo asked grinning from ear to ear but eyes still closed.
“Yes, um… thank you Gojo you know, for taking care-“ Utahime started genuinely saying. She frowned. “I’ll still kill you for lying when I’m better.”
“Don’t be so grumpy, you didn’t even use skincare yesterday, and you’re one day older.” Gojo stood up and started stretching his arms.
“If you drown in your bathtub, no one would suspect me.” Utahime threatened between two bouts of cough.
“Are you saying you want to get with me in the-“ Gojo smirked.
“Spare me the image, I’m already sick,” she cut him off.
Gojo showered first and headed to the kitchen to make a simple breakfast. He made himself chocolate chip pancakes with a frozen batter made by his chef and he made her an avocado toast from scratch. Well, except the bread.
After she showered and wore one of his black sweaters with his socks, she came into the kitchen visibly embarrassed.
“Wow. Bold choice. Are you trying to seduce me Hime ?” Gojo asked smirking. A faint blush appeared on his cheek as he fully took in both the facts that Utahime was revealing so much more skin that usual but also that she was wearing his sweater.
“I’m practically swimming in your pants and this happens to look like a dress on me because of your physical abnormalities.”
“My what?! I’ll have you know I’m a perfect specimen,” Gojo replied.
“Ugh, thank you for the food and everything by the way you freak of nature.” Utahime took a bite out of her avocado toast. “Yummy !!”
“Don’t stress it, U-TA-HI-ME.” Gojo smiled.
After some cordial bickering, it was time for Utahime to leave.
“No words about this to any of our colleagues, they can’t know I spent the night at your place,” Utahime said right before leaving.
Gojo grabbed his phone and called Shoko.
“You should probably unblock Hime’s phone number,” Gojo said, casually.
“You’re lucky I’m too tired to get mad at you.”
On Monday, the students and Gojo met up at the usual physical training spot at Tokyo Jujutsu High School. They seemed to be having fun. Some of them did seem to be recovering from a cold.
“So… since no one is asking, how did it go with Iori-sensei ?” Yuji asked while literally punching the air.
“Not telling.” Gojo smiled.
“I can surprisingly respect that,” Maki said, in an effortless split.
“10/10 experience. I recommend. I would’ve preferred to be the sick one though,” Gojo replied.
Gojo refused to debrief as the situation ended up being too emotionally intimate, too real.
Later that day, as Gojo was checking his emails, he found two unread ones from his students.
[email protected]: Gojo-sensei, Maki-san came to check on me when I was sick, and it was way more dangerous than my cold. She might be a little too cute.
[email protected]: Gojo-sensei. Fushiguro wasn’t feeling well, I went to check on him as… a friend. But bececause of your lessons, he might overthink it. I mean, for some reason, I’m overthinking it myself. This is all your fault.